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“What do you see in him?”
“Huh?” Ruby says.
“Lucifer,” Jessica clarifies, “what do you see in him?”
Ruby casts her eyes back at Jessica. She’s stumbling along a few steps behind her, still in the white nightgown she had died in. The carelessness with which she tramples over the dead leaves and sharp fallen branches stands in sharp contrast to her uncovered legs and bare feet. But she’s nothing more than whatever remnant of Jessica Moore’s soul had stayed with her body when she died – she can’t feel anything anymore. She barely exists outside of Ruby’s mind.
“I don’t know, what do humans see your gods? He’s my lord, I have faith in him.”
“Enough to traipse across the country in a decaying body on random errands?”
Ruby opens her mouth to say something, but she falls silent instead. She shoots Jessica a sharp, scrutinizing look.
Jessica scoffs. “I know what you think of me, but I’m not stupid just because I didn’t know about the supernatural. I know you’re trying to hide it, but my body — the body you’re possessing, I mean — is falling apart, I can tell. You think I haven’t noticed that your bruises never fade? Or that you still have the burns from when I died months ago? Why are you even possessing my body in the first place? I thought you demons liked to violate people while they’re still alive?”
Ruby inhales.
“I can’t—”
“I know, I know, you can’t tell me. I got it.”
Ruby hears Jessica scoff behind her.
Jessica has asked her this many times over the past few months. Ruby has never given her a straight answer.
She feels a strange light tug on her naval and she knows that Jessica has stopped. She stops her march and turns to find Jessica standing there, staring at her, what she knows must look to Jessica as a reflection of her own face. Jessica stands there in the moonlight and she looks like a vision. She stares and she stares and her lips turn downward and her eyes widen and Ruby can’t help but feel some sympathy for this murdered girl who she has, strangely enough, grown close to over these last few months.
Ruby walks over to Jessica. She hesitates for a brief moment and then takes her hands.
“I’m sorry,” Ruby says. The words feel wrong on her tongue. Almost blasphemous. They don’t fit coming from the mouth of a demon. But they’re true nonetheless. “I— I don’t think you’re stupid, okay? It’s just, I don’t even know why they asked me to do this. But if it is what I have to do to help Lucifer, then I will do it gladly.”
Ruby brings a hand to Jessica's face and wipes away the tear before it can even fall. Jessica leans into Ruby’s hand, into what used to be her own hand. She is the only one who can touch Jessica, the only one whose touch Jessica will ever feel again.
Ruby kisses her. She doesn’t know why, but she does.
“I’m sorry,” Ruby whispers. These words, this blasphemy is for Jessica and Jessica only.
Jessica nods, solemn.
“I know, Ruby, it’s okay, I know. I love you, too. Even if you can’t ever say it to me, I love you.”