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Jenny walks through the house, searching. It’s fairly quiet – Munk and Tugger are spending the day with their father. She’s been thinking of baking some cookies today, and maybe Mac wants to join. Even if he’s going through that teenager phase of more and more pulling away from any sort of authority, she knows that a small part of him still likes helping her.
She knocks on the door of his bedroom. “Mac?”
Macavity is curled into a ball. He’s taken refuge in the darkest part of the room. His breathing is beginning to calm now. It will pass and he didn’t lose consciousness this time, which was a good sign!
When he hears the knocking he looks up startled to the door, and then came Jenny’s voice. He thought she was out, but apparently not. He doesn’t answer. Maybe she’ll think he’s asleep and leave him be.
When Mac doesn’t reply, Jenny stays still and listens for a moment. He’s in there, she can hear him breathing. Maybe he’s asleep? But then again, it’s the middle of the day, time for him to wake up.
She knocks again, realising the hypocrisy of it. “Mac, dear?”
He hears her voice again and starts to panic once more. Curse her for coming when it was so close to being over! “Go away!” He tried to yell, but he sounds far more anxious than he likes.
The fear in Mac’s voice frightens her. Jenny always tries to give them the time they ask for – it isn’t easy, raising three kittens who have been abandoned by their own mother – but something in Mac’s voice tugs on her heartstrings and she can’t leave him. She cracks the door open. “Mac, are you okay?”
“Get out!” He shrinks back into the corner, trying to get as far away from her as possible.
This is far from the first time Mac has so harshly told her to go, but Jenny would be lying if she’d say that it doesn’t hurt a bit every time. Nevertheless, she ignores her own feelings. Mac needs her now, even if he doesn’t know it himself. She calmly walks up to him so as not to startle him, and sits down next to him. “Darling, what happened?”
His frightened eyes shoot up to her as she approaches and he tries stepping back only to hit the wall. He holds his hands out to her and shakes his head. “No no! Stay away!”
For all his usual bravado, Jenny only sees the terrified little kitten who had just realised that his mother had disappeared. She takes one of Mac’s outstretched hands. “I’m not going to leave you, Macavity. Do you want to tell me what happened?”
His hand lights with fire where she touches him and he pulls it back. His skin sizzles and turns black. “No! Stop, please!” He rushes past her and to another corner of the room. The darkness seems to follow him and now Jenny stands in a very well-lit part of the room. “Please… I don’t…” He takes a very deep breath. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Jenny contemplates for a moment. Mac’s magic is something she doesn’t understand, and she isn’t entirely sure what to do here. The only thing she can do is simply be a mother to him.
She follows him to the other side of the room. “You won’t hurt me” she says with utmost conviction.
“I said go AWAY!” He steps forward and flames erupt from his fists. They lick the floor and climb up the walls. When he realizes what he’s done he looks at the destruction and goes lax.
“Get out…” He looks at Jenny. “Get out of here!”
Jenny has to decide: her house first, or her son? But there is really only one choice to make, and without a word she steps forward and wraps her arms around him tightly. Even as just a teenager, he’s as tall as she is.
He didn’t expect that. He’d expected her to run. To leave and not look back at him. Perhaps tell others about what he’d done, but she’s embracing him. Why is she embracing him?
He drops against her and sobs.
And there it is, the scared Macavity she knew he was trying to hide. Jenny gently strokes his fur.
“It’s okay, Mac” she says soothingly. “M- … I’m here.”
Mommy’s here, she almost said, but she catches herself just in time. She’s always careful about using that word with them, even if it is how she feels. They have a mother. And they’re likely not to have very good associations with the word.
His breathing is erratic. He can’t seem to calm it down. He can hear Jenny’s heartbeat just above the rushing sound of blood in his head. He thinks about shoving her away. It would be for the best. Why was she even doing this? He doesn’t deserve this. “She was – she was r-right. I c-can’t stop h-hurting people.”
She keeps stroking him soothingly. Was he talking about Grizabella? He has never fully shared with her all the things his birth mother has said to him, but she knows it hasn't been good. “You're not hurting me.”
“But I will.” He pushes his face into her shoulder. He doesn’t want to pull away, but he knows he should. “I alre-ready have.”
She moves one hand upwards to gently weave her fingers through the mane at the back of his head. This genuinely confuses her. “When?”
“Y-your hand.” His still stings and she imagines hers does too. He vaguely remembered singeing his own mother’s fur once upon a time. It wasn’t meant to happen. She’d startled him and little, dumb, horrible Macavity hurt her. “I didn’t mean to. I-it was an accident. I promise. I promise!”
He starts to shake against her and grabs onto her to stabilize himself. “I didn’t! I swear I don’t want to hurt you! I didn’t mean it! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
She hadn't even noticed the pain in her hand, her focus on her son. “I know, sweetheart, it's okay, accidents happen. Remember that time Tugger stuck a fork in my hand because he was a little too enthusiastic about dinner? Or when Munk was trying to stand so wide that he lost balance and pushed me down the stairs? I don't love them any less for it.”
She places a soft kiss on Mac's forehead. “I don't love you any less either.”
“B-but I’m a –" He stops himself. There are so many emotions he feels right now and he can’t understand them. Everything is so overwhelming and he just wanted it to end. “A freak.”
She has to bite back a snort. “Darling, I train mice and cockroaches. Skimble rides trains. Bustopher has a serious food fetish. I'd say you fit right in.”
“You don’t–“ He shoves her away. “You don’t understand! You have no idea what this is like and you have no right to act like you care! You’re all unique and weird, but none of you can do THIS!”
The flames all climb to the roof and drop down to the floor. They cinder for a moment before they fade and leave the room smoking and black. Macavity has destroyed everything. His bed is ash and his belongings are blowing away in a phantom wind that swirls around the two.
Jenny frowns. “Macavity, listen to me. Your talent is unique and special, and it takes a lot to control it. Of course accidents will happen, it happens with everything in life – though please don't set our house on fire just to make a point. And no, I don't understand. How can I, when I'm not gifted like you are? But that doesn't change anything. You're right, I have no right to act like I care. But it's not an act. I simply care about you, magic or not, as every mother cares about her children – or, well, as every mother should. I don't know what it's like to be magic, but I do know you, and I'm here for you. I want to help you. But you will have to let me, or there is only so much I can do.”
Macavity deflates at her words. ‘You’re right’, it makes him tense again and he stares at her like he’s ready to run away if he needs to and then she continues.
“As a mother cares for her children… You–” He shakes his head and suddenly he’s burning with anger. “You don’t think that! I’m not your son! And I will never be a part of this family! No matter how much I hide it always comes back ten times worse and everyone will see it one day!”
Now he's struck a nerve, and Jenny draws herself up to her full height. “You dare question my love? You think I wouldn't go through fire for you – which I believe I just literally did? I may never have born a child myself, Macavity, but that doesn't mean I'm not a mother! Just as much as it means that you're a part of this family, whether you feel like it or not! And you can push everyone away because you think you're bad news, or you can open your eyes and see the people who want to help you!”
He jolts when she yells. He’s never seen her so fired up before. “I don’t.. I don’t want to…”
She may be saying all of this. She may even believe it, but what does that mean? She’ll learn. They always do and soon enough she’ll work out that he’s too dangerous to love. Just like Grizabella had said before she left: he’s unworthy of it.
Jenny takes a deep breath to steady herself – she didn't mean to fire up at him like that. “I love you, Mac. I'm not going to leave you behind because of something you cannot control.”
“You’re not…” He bites his tongue. His hands are stinging because there’s magic burning his palms. He balls them into fists and holds them close to his sides. “You’re not scared?”
He sounds far too hopeful and he’s worried she thinks he’s desperate.
Of course she's scared, but not for what Mac thinks she's scared of. She's scared for him, not of him, scared that Grizabella has broken something inside him that cannot be repaired. Scared that she'll lose her son to the darkness that she can always feel pulling on him.
She steps forward and takes his hand again. “No, Mac, I'm not scared of you.”
He lunges for her and wraps his arms around her. His nose buried into her fur and he holds his breath.
Jenny embraces him tightly again. Stay with me, Mac. Don't let the darkness consume you.
She starts to sing softly, the little lullaby she'd made up for him when he was scared to go to sleep as a kitten.
"Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity!
There never was a cat of such a talent and suavity.
He always has a trick or two, and then some more to spare;
You ever need a helping hand: Macavity's right there!"
He sniffles a little and every now and again he sobs, but he’s calm now. It’s over. His hands are still and there’s no overwhelming force trying to escape his body and destroy everything. “I’m sorry.”
She can feel him relaxing in her arms, and she knows the worst is over for now. Of course she’ll need to get his room fixed, but that can wait. “Do you want to help me bake some cookies? You’re always very good at getting the heat exactly right.”
“I… umm.” He leans away from her and wipes his nose. “Okay.”
She smiles, taking his hand to gently pull him along to the kitchen. “Are you in the mood for ginger snaps?”
“Ah.” He wipes the last tear from his eyes and shakes his head to pull himself back together. “I’d like that… could you not tell anyone about this? Please?”
She squeezes his hand reassuringly. If anyone at the junkyard knows what it's like to keep a secret, it's her. “Of course, dear.”
“Thank you, Jenny…” He bites his tongue while he’s led into the kitchen. “I’m sorry about what I said. I don’t.. I don’t think those things. I lo-… I love you.” He says it fast and under his breath, hoping she didn’t hear him.
She wants to hold him tightly and never let go, but she knows it's not the moment. Instead she opts to give him a one-armed hug. “I know, darling, it's okay.”
He pushes into her side when he’s hugged and remains there for a few seconds too long. Then he steps away. “What do you want me to do?”
She gently ruffles his fur as he steps away. “Why don't you get started on chopping the ginger?”
He nods and sets to work. Jenny’s chopping board is already on the counter and he takes the ginger out to be placed atop it. He holds the knife in his hand and thinks about when he was younger and would like to imagine he’d grow his claws so long one day he wouldn’t need to use a knife. A funny thought, he thinks, and then starts chopping the spice.
Jenny meanwhile mixes the other ingredients, putting some sugar in a pan. “Mac, dear, can you give me a little flame here?”