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Her thoughts skidded to a stop at the sound of a gun clocking and shots coming from the farther wing of the alley. She must’ve shot the goon. Vi went back to the mission at play, not letting herself get distracted until every criminal was blacked out and shipped to Stillwater. She walked over to the end of the alleyway, hoping to see a cheerful and happy Cait, ready to celebrate their latest win. She didn’t.
She saw Caitlyn. Or who she thought was Caitlyn, at least. She saw a Caitlyn, but not hers. She saw a Caitlyn, on the cold hard cement floor, body limp and eyes barely open. She saw a Caitlyn with hair sprawled over the ground, the same way it would be on the pillows of their bed. She saw a Caitlyn, her skin white, and missing the soft dabble of blush that would appear on her cheeks every time she saw Vi. She saw a Caitlyn until she didn’t see Caitlyn at all.
Vi threw herself on her knees beside her lover's sleeping body. Her shaking hands carefully brushed away the hair on her face. The tips of her fingers lightly brushing over her forehead made her gasp. She was cold, too cold. She lifted her body off the ground, shivering at the deadly temperature. Vi wrapped her arms around her body, holding her close, trying to warm her up. Caitlyn’s nose against the hollow of her ear, Vi’s in her hair. She still smelled like Caitlyn, her Caitlyn. The same hint of rose perfume and sheen of sweat tingled on her senses, overcovering the smell of copper blood pouring down her chest.
Vi lifted her off of the ground. She was so heavy. She didn’t wrap her arms around her neck and legs around her waist the way she always did after a victory. She had an arm under both of Caitlyns knees and one under her waist, the same way she had on their wedding night, except it wasn't, there were no giggles, no blush on both their cheeks, no chaste kisses, no Caitlyn. She walked them over the bridge to Topside, citizens scared eyes watched as Vi carried their beloved sheriff, dripping blood over the tiles of the bridge. The blood mixed with Vi’s tears, the blood and water dripping down Caitlyn’s stomach. With each step, she formed a new sentence;
You’re fine, you’re fine, you’re okay, you’ll be okay, we’re going to be okay.
I love you, Caitlyn. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
When she made it to the hospital, the nurses rushed by her side, muttering things about Caitlyn’s state and it all sounded like a murmur to her. They tried to pry her body away from Vi which made her hang on even tighter. Wrapping her arms all the way around Caitlyn, squeezing her eyes shut and breathing small ‘nonononono’s’ into the air. She was forced out of her thoughts when she heard her name,
“Violet Kirraman?” the older nurse asked. She nodded.
“May we take her? You can stay with her every step of the way,” she said, even though she knew Caitlyn was gone. Vi nodded again and followed them into the operation room. She set Caitlyn down on the table, only then did Vi notice that she was hurt as well. A prominent gunshot in her lower abdomen was pouring out scarlet strings.
The doctors all left their work on Caitlyn and moved over to her. Vi stepped back, out of their reach,
“No. Help her first. Please, help her first.” and pain she felt was nowhere near what she felt when she saw Caitlyn’s half lifeless body on that table.
“Mrs Kiramman, You’re in much worse condition and there is not much hope left for your wif-” the doctor started, taking another step towards Vi, who retracted once more.
“I…I don’t…You have to. ” she pressed.
“We can’t. It’ll be a waste of-”
She started shouting at the younger doctor, not even sure herself what she was saying but whatever it was, brought tears to the doctor's eyes. A waste? Saving the sheriff that swam through poison to save this city was a waste? Pushing all of the doctors out of the way and moving to the table to grab Caitlyn, she ran outside the operating room and tried to get away from the hospital. She was stopped by the receptionists.
“Miss! Miss! We can’t let you leave with a patient or whilst you're wounded!” she warned her.
Vi barely even heard them.
* * *
She placed Caitlyn carefully down on the couch, eyes welling up at the sight of her, the feel of her, the nothingness. She stroked her hair, her face, her neck. She was so, so cold. She picked her up off of the couch and moved her to the bedroom. She slowly undressed her, taking off her boots, peeling off her pants, and her top, leaving her in an undershirt and undergarments. The bloody singlet was the only thing bearing her from the wound that lay beneath. She lifted it with shaking hands and blurred vision. The smell of her lover's blood made her stomach lurch, but that was nothing compared to the sight of it. Bile climbed up her throat, making her gag.
Three bullets. Deep into her chest between her breasts covered in blood. The open wound left so much skin harmed that she could see her sternum through the flesh. Vi falls over her. Her forehead rested on Caitlyn’s stomach.
“I’m so so sorry, Caitlyn. I should have been there. I should have helped you. I can’t do anything right,” she said between sobs. They stayed that way. For a few seconds, minutes, maybe even hours. Until Vi undressed Caitlyn and washed her wounds. Pulling out the bullets one at a time with the pliers from the safety kit that Caitlyn kept in the bathroom just in case Vi got hurt.
“Oh Vi, my precious Violet you have to be more careful,” she examined the large gash on her back.
“I’m sorry,” Vi said, hissing at the medicated towel touching her wound.
“Don’t be. You did what you needed to, you did what you had to do to survive,”
Vi’s breathing calmed when Caitlyn put down the bloody towel and started dressing the cut on her spine, giving it a kiss over the bandage. Vi turned around on the bathroom stool she was on. She wrapped her arms around Caitlyn’s shoulders and just stared at her. Her gaze washed
over her girlfriend's icy blue eyes, her ‘royal’ cheekbones, lovely plush lips. She stopped there. Eyes keeping their goal at play. Caitlyn took the hint and leaned in, brushing her lips against Vi’s scared ones, Vi closed the gap between their bodies, pulling Caitlyn in by her neck and waist, as Caitlyn’s slender hands rose up to the side of her face. They both sighed into the kiss. Vi left little nips on her bottom lip until Caitlyn took charge, bumping Vi’s hips against the bathroom counter. Her hands roamed from her cheeks, down to her sides, and slipped under the hem of her shirt, making the other woman gasp. She stopped kissing her, making Vi let go of a whimper, and moved her lips over her jaw and neck, across her collarbones, kissing her shoulder ever so lightly. She moved her lips down the length of her chest and stomach, seeking out the scars from past fights, kissing them, and swiping the tip of her tongue over the white lines. Caitlyn was there when she got most of them, she wishes she could have been when she got the others. She didn't rest until she kissed every scar, every bruise, and every knuckle, whispering ‘I love you’s and sweet nothings when her mouth wasn't occupied. When she rose back up to her height, she saw Vi looking at her through glassy eyes and tear-strained cheeks.
“I love you so much, Cait, please, don’t leave,”
“I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me,”
Vi’s blood-stained hands came to a stop. A tear crept down her cheek and fell onto Caitlyn’s chest, onto her revealed sternum.
The dam broke, the tears flooded, the screams came. She shook until all the muscles in her body ached. The tears trailed hot and wet down her cheeks, her neck, and onto her lover's body. The room filled with a cacophony of ‘No!’, ‘Please!’, ‘Caitlyn!’, coming between shrieks and sobs. After many heart-wrenching hours, Vi slowly grew tired of her pain and went limp against Caitlyn’s freezing lifeless body.
“Caitlyn, please,” she whispered through gritted teeth, throat still strained from her screaming. “Please, Cait, if you're still in there, please wake up. I need you, please. Caitlyn?” there was no answer.
That was the final straw. Vi finally realised. Caitlyn was gone. Dead.
Vi would never see the roses that pained her cheeks, ever again. She would never feel the warmth of her skin, ever again. She would never hear the symphony of her laughter, ever again. She would never be able to kiss her, ever again. She would never talk to her, ever again. Yet, Vi knew one thing for certain. She could not leave Caitlyn, not again. She promised her, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
She didn’t.
* * *
Vi laid Caitlyn down on their living room couch. She joined her, lying beside her. She looked down at her stomach. A prominent hole was gouged in her lower abdomen, now turning white and green around the edges. It was getting infected, she didn't care, she barely even felt it, the pain in her chest overpowered everything else.
The tips of her fingers brushed Caitlyn’s hair away from her pale blue face. She trailed them down over her navy eyebrows, down the length of her thin nose-bridge. She swept over her cheekbones and stopped at her purple-tinted lips. Her fingers ghosted over them and left her face, reaching down to intertwine their fingers.
“I’m sorry, Cait. I’m so fucking sorry, I should've- I just- If it had been me-” she sighed to catch her breath and heard Caitlyn as if she were behind her, breathing into her ear, sending a shiver down her spine, “Enough of that, sweetheart, enough. I love you,” she would say. She squeezed the hand in hers and lay down next to a stiff ‘Caitlyn’.
“I love you, Cupcake. I’m not going anywhere,” still thinking she could maybe just maybe wake up. She never did.
She felt her eyes closing and her mind slipping away. The pain in her abdomen faded, as her consciousness did. Vi fell asleep. She never woke up.
* * *
Vi was found, tangled with her lover on their couch, hands intertwined, chest to chest and heart to heart.
The last thought Caitlyn had was, Please keep going, Violet, for me.
The last thought Violet had was, Maybe we would meet again, in another life.