Chapter Text
He gets home, bruised and tired. Matt was relentless in his training. He enters his bedroom through the window, not even bothering to change his sweaty clothes, before faceplanting on the bed.
Something hits him on the head and he turns to glare at the offending thing, almost insulted by his spider sense not being activated.
"May~" He whines. "A banana? Really?"
"You've been swinging out there for hours. Eat. Replenish what you've lost."
He grumbles as he sits up and takes a large bite out of it, surprised at how hungry he really is.
"All this time, I'm still surprised at how your....Peter Tingle doesn't go off around me." She chuckles. "Am I its favorite person or something?"
"May. Please. I beg of you. Don't call it my Peter Tingle."
She gives off a smirk. "I'm calling it that. I'll trademark it if I have to."
"No~" He whines, smushing his face on the pillow. He uses a little super strength to throw the banana peel across the room to the trash can.
"So. Ready for tomorrow?" She says as she sits on his bed. He yawns a bit before tensing.
"Tomorrow?"
"Y'know....for your new classmate." She shrugs. "Happy told me all about it. It's nice how he's dedicated to knowing every detail of your class, but I'm still concerned if this is a little borderline....stalkerish? I probably shouldn't be. This is your security after all, but privacy is privacy and all that."
Peter has a lot of thoughts running in his brain right now.
*Why does Happy know this and he doesn't?*
*Why is he wasting his time with this when he always claims to be so busy?*
*Does Mr. Stark know?*
*Does Ned?*
*Why in the middle of the school year?*
*Why isn't his school telling him anything?*
"Peter?" May asks, concerned. She puts a hand on his thigh but pulls back, startled, at the hard flinch he made.
"Who?"
She blinks fast in surprise. "I don't exactly keep up with the news, but he's a celebrity. Mr. Storm, was it? That's gonna make hiding your you-know-what very difficult."
Peter's eyes widened. "Johnny? Johnny Storm is coming to my class tomorrow?!"
"You didn't know?"
Peter threw his hands up. "Of course, I didn't know! I've been angsting over Johnny the whole week!"
"You know him?"
He takes a deep breath and grumbles something unpleasant. "Yeah. I had to meet him as Spiderman. He knows who I am though." He covers his face with his hands. "I hate this."
"I thought your school would at least mention something," came her amused voice. "Or your friend. Wait. Are you friends?"
"Sort of?" Peter sighs as he stands up once more. "More or less, but we don't like....talk much. I have his number, but he doesn't have mine. Well more like he does but doesn't actually call."
"Why?"
He winced. "I might've smashed stuff around his house. It's out of pettiness. We get along great though."
"Peter," May chastises. "Why."
"He burnt my homework for fun! I worked an hour on that, May. An hour!"
She rolls her eyes, though mirth was still everpresent. "Glad to know that after all your secret adventures, you're still a child."
"Well in any case, I would now like to yell at Mr. Stark for not saying anything."
May raises an eyebrow. "Karen?"
"Peter will have less than 8.25% chance of actually following through, but he has a decent 78% chance of taking his frustration out on Johnny Storm," Karen says.
"Helpful as ever, Karen," Peter retorts, sarcasm dripping from his tone.
"I live to serve, Peter. It just so happens that I serve the adult figures of your life more than you."
May couldn't help it. She laughs at the extremely insulted look Peter threw at the phone.
"I hate you," he mumbles.
"Karen, you're a godsend."
She ignores the first bit and trudges on. "I am a self-learning AI. I have inherited my humor from these two so called 'dumbasses' as one Happy Hogan would say. Should I spend more time with you, I might pick up your humor as well, Mrs. Parker. You've been extremely indulging in our times together."
"You talk?"
"Really only whenever you leave your phone carelessly around the house. Aren't you getting in trouble for that? That's a security breach."
"Where else would I put it?" Peter's eyes bugged out in fake innocence.
"Don't you dare use that on me, young man," May says, playing along with his exaggeration. "You know very well where else to put it."
She smirked when Peter pouts once more.
@@@
"What's got you in such a good mood, dude?" Ned asked.
"Nothing." Peter grabs a piece of bread and takes a bite. "Just a blast from the past stopping by to say hi in a few."
"Wait." Ned grabs his shoulders in a rush. "It's not Osborn, is it?"
"No, it's not Harry." Peter rolls his eyes. "I don't see why you have such a big problem with him. We've known each other since diapers."
"His dad gives me the creeps, Pete." Ned shivers. "Not to mention how he's always comparing Harry to you. Like you're meant to replace his son or something. That's gotta be a bad environment for any kid to be in."
"I-" Peter frowns. "You're probably right. I should ask how he's doing."
Ned shakes his head. "So if it's not Harry, who is it then?"
Peter smiles. "Well it's..."
He's interrupted by an arm slung on his shoulder. The blond smirks as he stares at him without a reaction before recognition finally dawns on his face. "...Johnny."
"The one and only," he answers, looking at Ned. "Is this your bestie, Parker?"
Peter swats at him. "Yes, he's my bestie. Don't call us that though. It's weird." He scrunches up his face. "Johnny, this is Ned. Ned, Johnny."
The two shook hands before a silence came about.
"Well this is awkward," Ned gave a nervous chuckle.
"You said it." Johnny agreed.
"He's gonna be in class with us, Ned. For an unknown amount of time." Peter gives the blond a pointed look. "Might as well show him the ropes. I do wonder why he kept it secret from me though..."
Johnny, understanding the situation, gave off a chuckle. He brings his glasses up a bit before answering. "At first, Sue wanted to see your reaction firsthand, but then she realized that you won't be visiting the compound before I came to school. So I told you to ask Tin Can about this. But then he told us he wanted to keep it secret because he thought it'd be funny even if he can't see your reaction, but I'm guessing the info leaked in between."
"Through his own security, no less." Peter huffed amused. "Mr. Stark needs to learn to keep his mouth shut if he wants things quiet. That or actually tell the people involved who he wants the info hidden from."
"Wait..." Ned stared between them. "You know Mr. Stark?"
Johnny gave off his winning smile. "I'm Peter's co-intern at Stark Industr....ow!"
"Whoops." Peter held his right fist with his left hand and held his head high. "Did you hear something, Ned?"
"No...?" He says, confused.
"Rude. But fair. I actually worked with Spiderman before his whole glow-up. Don't hit me!"
Peter gasps, mock offended. "I would never."
"Does he know?" Ned asks him.
He nods. Johnny clenches his chest dramatically.
"The force! It's compelling me to tell the truth! The truth is....I know every....little....dirty secret...Pete has on my boi Spidey!" Ned laughs at his antics. Peter, however, was not amused.
"Johnny! Secret. Identity. Remember?" He grits out.
"Relax. Nobody is listening." The guy shrugs. "And I doubt anyone's gonna take that seriously. Secret identities are so bothersome."
"They're useful for sneaking around though," Ned chimes in.
"Not if you're wearing bright red most of the time you're doing the sneaking, it's not."
"It's....fashionable?" He tries instead, wincing.
"Why is your family trying to force you to my school again? I'm pretty sure you were fine where you were." Peter asks.
"Aww....kicking me out already? But it's only been my first day."
He scowled. "Just answer the question."
Johnny's mouth snapped shut. He sighs before opening it once more. "Y'know, ever since we've gotten our powers, things have been so hectic lately. They're mostly concerned about my education even though I don't really need it anymore. The thing here is that they don't exactly know which school to send me to now that I've dropped out for a while now. They wanted me to catch the rhythm. Dip my toes and all that." He pouts. "Sue's hubby's buddy decided to recommend this and now I'm stuck here."
"Oh so this is Mr. Stark's attempt at SpiderStorm matchmaking," Peter deadpans. Ned chokes on his own spit.
"More or less," Johnny replies cooly before smiling once more. "I wouldn't be opposed to a proper date, though."
Ned expected Peter to blush, to sputter, to get flustered. What he didn't expect was the: "No can do, Lover boy. I'm taken."
He shoots him a stunned look.
Off balance, Johnny tried regaining some sort of composure. "By whom?'
His eyes glint teasingly as he bites his lip. "Sorry, that's my secret to keep."
Johnny points at him. "I'm finding out before I have to leave. That or I'm getting Ironman in your case."
He snorts. "Good luck."
@@@
"MJ, this is..."
"I know who he is," she interrupts, sketching his face.
"Of course, she does. I'm famous," Johnny boasted cockily.
"Yeah. Johnny 'I'm too pretty to die' Storm."
"Oi!"
Peter's eyes roamed over his form. "I see it."
"You're supposed to be on my side!"
His expression turns innocent. "Am I though?"
@@@
They go to Starbucks later on to pick up an order for the Fantastic Four. Sure, they could've gotten other people to buy the drinks, but they don't pretend that they're adverse to an excuse to hang out.
And Johnny being Johnny, he wanted to create a scene.
"So if you're trying to blend in right now, you must have another name for your coffee, right? Or your name is gonna be heard all over the establishment," Peter starts.
"Johnny is a pretty common name, Pete. Then again, who doesn't want to have fun every once in a while?" He winks. "Just write your order in the gang's paper. I'll do all the talking."
Peter shakes his head as he does what he's told. "Here's to hoping you don't embarrass us."
He gasps. "Have I ever?"
"All the time," the other says airily.
"This is treason." He yanks the paper from Peter with more force than necessary.
"It's only a state of observation." He sniffed.
"A state of biased observation, you mean." To the cashier, he puts on a winning smile and hands out the order and cash. "Put it under Agent 616. I'm undercover right now. Please don't give my location away."
The lady at the counter was amused. Clearly humoring him, she says, "Of course."
"Wha-"
"Atututututut!" Johnny says, covering his mouth with his hand. "Let the magic happen, P. Come, dear friend. I shall find us a table."
He drags him off before he could get another word and pushes on his shoulder to get him to sit. His annoyance must show on his face when Johnny shoots him a playful look.
Peter's eyes roam around the establishment before finding them landing on the space between them. He takes a glance at Johnny's face before huffing.
"Is this a date?"
A raised eyebrow was what he got. "Depends. Are you really taken?"
He throws a smirk. "Depends. Are you interested?"
Johnny gasps dramatically. "Parker! I did not take you for the cheating type!"
"I was proposing a polygamy....but alright."
Peter giggles when the other sputters. "How was I supposed to know that your partner is in-the-know?!"
"The same way you know I'm loyal." He winks. "I'm very possessive of what I call mine."
"How'd you go from dumbass nerd to a flirty ass?" Johnny mumbled, blushing a tiny bit.
"I think the only flirty ass here is you, shooting star. Especially with the way you light up the night sky."
"That was terrible," he deadpans.
"Only cuz you can't do any better." Peter throws back.
Johnny opens his mouth to retaliate only to be interrupted.
"Order for Agent 616?! Order for Agent 616!"
Even when the server was different to the one he'd ordered from, he still snatched the drinks with a glare.
"I trusted you."
Needless to say, that poor underpaid employee was left very confused.
@@@
"So...." Johnny starts with a smile. "Have any plans? We still have a few hours. We could....y'know....do the flamey-o and the thwip thwip?"
"That was hardly subtle."
"Not trying to be, Pete."
"Sorry," he says. "I have a thing I need to do."
"What thing?" Johnny asks, pouting. He blinks in surprise when Peter shows it to him.
"Oh. That thing."
Peter's eyebrows raise in surprise. "You recognize it?"
"Doi. It's one of the alien supercomputer thingamajig Reed was tinkering with." Johnny explains then blinks. "Wait. What exactly do they expect you to do with that?"
"Research." He shrugs. "Mr. Stark sends me pieces of machinery from time to time and I'm expected to show him a report of it. My nighttime gig isn't exactly counted as part of the legal internship. I'm actually supposed to learn something."
"And nobody is gonna ask questions? Safety protocols? Controlled environments? I dunno. Maybe an actual adult present?"
Peter gives him an odd look. "We just lie. Mr. Stark spends most of his time in the compound. It's an incredibly inefficient use of our time to always wait until the end of the week to progress our work. Besides, I know what I'm doing most of the time."
"Huh," Johnny says. "Well you're not gonna get far toying with it in your school labs. C'mon. My team's got a great lab not too far from here. I'm pretty sure we can use it....so long as you don't blow anything up."
"Walking distance or alternative transportation type of near?"
"We can take the train," he suggests.
"Fine. Let me change my clothes first," Peter says as he opens his bag and grabs a ziplock bag. "I'll be right back."
Alone, Johnny squints as he looks at the machine, which seems to glow right back in response.
@@@
Like Johnny said, it didn't take far by train to reach their intended destination. Though, he did not hide the fact that he wanted to show off a bit.
"So? Watchu think?" The smirk was infuriating, mostly because he can't get his mouth up from the floor.
"I mean...it's okay. I see stuff like this with Mr. Stark all the time."
"Buddy buddy buddy." Johnny puts an arm around his shoulder once more. "Mr. Stark deals with chemistry and engineering and New York. We deal with astrology and anything earth AND galactic. It's clear who the bigger deal is."
"I see now why you two would not get along," Peter mumbles under his breath. Then, aloud. "I can use anything here?"
"Anything except those with the 'Johnny don't touch' post-it notes. I don't even blame Sue for that. Lord knows how grabby I get when I'm bored."
"Maybe it has something to do with how hot you are." He sasses. "Fire and unknown chemicals don't go well together."
"Shut it." Johnny huffs. "Just do your nerd bizz. Imma do my 'homework' on the table right over."
"Are you really?" Peter raises an eyebrow.
"Pshh." He scoffs. "No. I'll probably be looking at car designs for when I'm old enough to drive."
@@@
"I can be annoying."
"I'm sure you can be."
"I'll annoy you until you tell me what it is we're doing."
"And yet you chose to follow me with little resistance."
"I trust you. I just don't trust literally anything else here."
Mr. Fantastic sighs. "Your paranoia is valid, but it has no place here."
"Then tell me right now. What's this about? I'm a very busy man, Richards."
"Oh please, Stark. The only things keeping you busy down there are your artificial children."
"Oi! I'll have you know that my artificial children deserve as much time as I can give them. Don't discriminate."
"Yeah. And I see no clear favoritism for FRIDAY due to her intelligence."
"It's not my fault motor oil is lethal in the dosage I'm being handed."
"It's not like you can't program him to not think that oil is the robot equivalent of a milkshake."
"I'd rather not play God for once. Don't want to deprive my dear son of his lovely personality."
The animosity completely disappeared and just like that, twin smiles can be found.
"Please tell me why I'm here."
Reed Richards pulls up a tablet. It's clear that it's connected to the building CCTV and that the two teenagers in it would be the topic at hand.
"Oh great. The kiddies found the playground. I wonder what they're gonna do. Front row seats? I'mma need sounds, Tesla."
"Oof." Reed complains, readjusting the volume. "I've been demoted from Newton."
"It's only a demotion if you see it as one."
"Well ya got me there."
They watch as Peter tries to play off his awe. Reed gets a contemplative look when he notices the kid try explaining to Johnny what the so-called alien thingamajig meant to do.
He called it Siri.
It's a database for partial universal language.
At least he got the somewhat A.I. tech right.
"How much are you paying this intern again? He looks about 15."
"Eh. He doesn't exactly know. I just funnel cash whenever." Reed opens his mouth before Tony interrupts him again. "Yeah I don't know either."
"Why?"
Tony shrugs. "I just ask Karen what he needs and hand it over. He’s very low maintenance financial-wise surprisingly….well except when we need to wash the suit."
"Right. Why did I ever expect anything else from you?"
"Because we haven't exactly met in a while, Bungeegum."
"I hate that moniker. Please don't ever use that again."
"Unlikely."
@@@
They get to the facility in record time, mostly because neither of them trust their boys enough to not blow anything up.
When they open their doors, they aren't met with the pristine lab they saw on the cameras. No. They were met with dark maroon-purple gunk covering the walls.
And a kid on fire and another walking on the ceiling cleaning the mess.
"Hi," the kid says with an awkward wave. "I'm Peter."
It took everything in Tony not to smack his head on the table.
@@@
"Kid.....what is all this?" Tony asks, looking around disbelievingly. Peter jumps down from the roof to the floor, landing gracefully on his feet.
"So you know how Siri was supposed to be some form of ancient alien tech-?"
"I keep forgetting that you can sense whenever you're being watched."
"-Well it turns out that Siri was actually part bio-base made of bacteria-like colonies that can read minds. Partially since they mostly just respond to the stimulus of thought. The reason why this is only half working is due to most of said colonies dying off through time. The ones that I were able to save lost the memory they sustained from interactions with previous individuals."
"A half natural half artificial being. A halfa. Half dead too," Johnny adds.
Mr. Fantastic elongates to take a closer look at the sticky substance on the walls. He hums curiously before turning to the duo, trying not to smile at Peter's starstruck look.
"What exactly was the course of events that caused this?"
The two stared at each other before Johnny wanders off, giving an obnoxious whistle. Peter glares for a bit before coughing in his fist and opening his mouth.
"When I realized that the window to actually use Siri is closing, I tried getting Karen to learn and relearn multiple alien languages, in case we needed it. I had her contact FRIDAY to speed up the process and compare notes with what's on the computer database right here." Peter looks away, shuffling awkwardly. "I hope you don't mind, Mr. Richards. Johnny gave me permission."
Mr. Fantastic just smiles in encouragement while Tony frowns in impatience.
"Yeah, that's great and all, but why is there gunk on the ceiling?"
"Oh." Peter smiles, embarrassed. "Believe it or not, I tried injecting Johnny's blood to some of it. The resulting explosion was...not expected."
Reed's eyes narrow. "And what prompted you to do that particular experiment?" There was no trace of malice despite the tone, only mild suspicion and curiosity.
"Well...Siri made noise when I introduced heat to certain chemicals. I guessed it was one of the ways some aliens communicated. I didn't want to rule it out. After all, we do have our own animals talking through color and visual patterns. I do wonder how it translates nonverbal communication. I also want to know what type evolution forced this species to evolve in a way that's so versatile. Then again, we do have the tardigrade."
"Huh. Impressive. Though the so called colonies were artificially made, not selected by nature. This species in particular was created by their world's leading scientists."
Peter looked at Siri in wonder. "Can we replicate their product? Would that be ethical?"
Reed shrugged. "We'd have to analyze the result of your previous experiment first. Seems as though you got it to react in a similar way to a volatile tumor. Very interesting indeed."
Tony's eyes flipped back and forth from his partner to his mentee and cursed under his breath.
"Jesus Christ. There's two of them now."
"You said it, Tin Can," Johnny agreed with a slight tsk. "I get the fanboyism, but I'm starting to feel like I've been replaced."
Despite Tony acknowledging that feeling as mutual, he could not stop the pride rising from within. The alien weapon was brought down by Reed Richards to test Tony's mysterious intern. He's guessing Peter passed with flying colors.
"And if we push this area here, Mr. Richards, we might be able to hear Johnny's thoughts."
Peter bent down to grab a piece of heated material on the floor and brought it near the colony. The weird cutter chatter grew in frequency, but the volume remained the same until contact.
'Hmmm,' multiple voices could be heard. 'Dat ass.'
Peter blinked in surprise as Tony choked on his saliva. Reed sighs in exasperation and Johnny's face is as red as it has ever been.
"Must've been a mistranslation," he suggests, trying to salvage the last of his dignity.
He could only wince as Mr. Fantastic stares at him disapprovingly.
@@@
"Stark tells me that you specialize in chemistry and engineering. Is that true?" Reed asks inquisitively.
"Sorta. I also code stuff, but that skill probably won't be useful in a completely different setting like this."
"Don't be so sure," he answers mysteriously. "Even the most scientific of minds can learn magic if they let go of their biases."
"Do you believe in magic, Mr. Richards?" Peter's wide and curious eyes turn to the man in question.
He chuckles. "Well magic is essentially a property of the universe that just refuses to let itself be studied. I believe it exists, but to believe it in a way that you're implying is not something I'm too eager to do just yet."
"The universe doesn't care if its inhabitants understand it or not. It just exists. And that's all that it has ever done and ever will until a greater force knocks it off balance," Peter says in agreement. Johnny snorts from the web hammock he made.
"Careful, Pete. You're gonna jinx us."
Peter snorts. "With all the things that exist out of our control? Believe it or not, it is inevitable. Let's just hope that it doesn't happen in our lifetime." Johnny scowls.
"If your Parker luck ruins this for me in any way, shape, or form, I'm suing."
"Good luck with suing after the universe tears itself apart trying to combat this mysterious greater force."
Reed huffs with a smile. "Save the existentialism for later, Parker. Out of the labs preferably."
Peter blushes. "Sorry."
@@@
A few days later finds Tony Stark and Reed Richards in the Compound.
"You sure the kid's gonna like it? He's adamant about staying on street level. He denied the Avengers. What makes you think he won't deny your organization as well?"
Reed hums indulgently.
"For one, it's not an active position to take. He's still fifteen after all. And for another, well...I think it plays into his interests quite well."
The two men take a glance at the written paper at hand before calling on a drone.
"You just have to be dramatic."
Reed's eyes twinkle with silent mischief. "You're the one who told me about Harry Potter. I'd say you influenced me quite a bit."
"What can I say? My presence is blinding."
"Sure it is, Stark."
~
The Fantastic Four has realized that despite there being multiple heroes on this planet, should there be any extraterrestrial life forms willing to take over, we'd stand no chance. Our tech needs improvement and fast, but we need it in a way that's handled responsibly. We can't afford it to be used against us, especially by our own kind. We don't want the plan to backfire.
So I'm putting together a team of brilliant young minds. A team that will represent the Fantastic Four here on Earth. Honorary members that we can call upon in our time of need. Trustworthy, grounded, and reliable. The future of science and magic and all things revolutionary. And I figured....well....you are worthy of high praise so....
Welcome to the Future Foundation, Spiderman.
-Reed Richards, Mr. Fantastic
~
@@@
"If only you told me you were married to New York earlier. I've been looking for this mysterious person just to find out that you were being metaphorical."
Spiderman's shoulders shake in mirth, but he was successful in keeping his laughter quiet.
"Who says it's metaphorical? I have a genuine love/hate relationship with my hometown. And based on the papers being written, the feeling is mutual."
Johnny sighs in resignation. "I will never understand you, you dork."
"Well..." Peter sits down on the roof next to his friend. "How about we mess with the city one last time?"
Johnny stares at him, interest piqued.
"Oh? Do tell."
He smirks.
@@@
Breaking News! Spiderman and an unknown civilian are seen kissing on top of the Statue of Liberty! Descriptions of the individual include...
"Did I really have to get a wig for that?"
"What can I say? You look good in a brown manbun."
"Oh if that's how you feel, how about I go ahead and dye it?"
"Don't. Your fangirls will cry."
...People are already curious! Who is this lucky person? More superhero news at...!
The Human Torch rests his arm on Spiderman's shoulders.
"Everybody knows you're the only one for me, Spidey."
Peter grins toothily, taking a bite out of a bagel.
"Sure, Johnny-boy."
It's a sign of the holidays! Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. This is Gwen Stacy signing off. Thanks for listening and have a good night!