Chapter Text
Rise of Gru
Tuesday 3:42 pm
van: bro wtf is quadratic formula
ren: I know damn well u got held back a grade 💀
yamato: that's rude to assume
shion: He was actually held back 3 times
ren: WHAT
nagi: LMFAOOOOO😭😭😭
van: STOP
masato: Well that is unfortunate.
van: IM NOT DUMB, I JUST DIDNT TURN SHIT IN ON TIME
otoya: twinsies fr
syo: honestly so glad I graduated 😝
nagi: u guys literally went to Shining Academy, bffr 🤦♂️
nagi: that shit ain't school 😒
reiji: erm akshually ☝️🤓
nagi: mf you're in ur late 30s something...hanging around minors isn't a good look
eiichi: Colleen DUPE
van: OMFG HE SAID IT
ai: wait guys what date is it
camus: I am actually shocked that you are not aware...
ai: I've been having trouble charging up at night. I need to get my outlet checked out.
syo: you GYATT to crouch down and take a look
reiji: word of advice...
reiji: don't smack ai-ai's ass
tokiya: WHAT
yamato: NAH YOU GOT TOKIYA USING ALL CAPS 😭
otoya: HELP HIS JAW DROPPED 💀
otoya: image
ren: SHITTING MYSELF
masato: Oh my...
cecil: OH!
natsuki: mf what 💀
natsuki: oh oops
Natsuki changed their name to "Satsuki"
satsuki: anyways
nagi: OMG HEY BOO 🤭
ranmaru: again??
satsuki: he took a shower
cecil: Makes sense!
shion: can we go back to smacking Mikaze's ass??
ai: oh, don't worry. Reiji developed a habit of going around and smacking our asses around the apartment
camus: I have never felt so defiled...
reiji: MYU HAS A RECOIL
ranmaru: bro's got mad turbulence
yamato: 💀???
ai: oh yeah, and ranmaru joins in
cecil: Camus has what one would call, "a bubble butt".
otoya: HELP ME
otoya: 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺
eiji: The emoji usage?? 😦
tokiya: He's developed the habit of using the fencing man emoji when he finds something mildly amusing
otoya: IM BACKFLIPPING BAHAHAHA
satsuki: pics or it's not real
shion: WOAH
nagi: NAHHH 🤯🤯🤯
syo: ENOUGHHHHH
haruka: What does it mean to have a bubble butt?
eiichi: Oh damn, she was reading it all...
haruka: I've learned to just sit back and read 😊
kira: Can we redirect back to the conversation about Mikaze's "ass"?
reiji: OH YEAH
reiji: my hand is still sore 😞
ai: I'm literally an android 😀
tomo: broken wrist n all 🤭
ranmaru: bro what's "old man yaoi"?
otoya: WHAT
eiichi: I BEG YOUR PARDON
yamato: HUH
van: WHERE IS BLUD LOOKING FOR THIS
ranmaru: I kept getting pop up notifications from spam recently
ranmaru: screenshot
tokiya: WHAT 😭
syo: I have never seen tokiya in so much emotional distress in such a short amount of time
satsuki: no wonder I stay away from you guys 💀
satsuki: but ain't no way I'm letting natsuki sit thru this shit💀💀
nagi: while we're on this, what's ur opinion on mpreg???
Tokiya left the group
otoya: MY BABY
eiji: YOU'RE GETTING IMMEDIATE INTERNET RESTRICTIONS
nagi: IT WAS A GENUINE QUESTION ☹
van: BUT LEAVE TOKOYA OUTTA THIS, POOR GUY 💔
otoya: MY POOR BABY
otoya: image
ren: my boy has TEARS STREAMING 😔
ai: actually insane
Rise of Gru
Tuesday 11:28 pm
reiji: I'm actually gonna jump this bitch
van: WHO HURT YOU????
reiji: THE CASHIER LADY AT THE FUCKING KONBINI
ai: she refused service to us
camus: Wench 😡
yamato: WENCH IS WILD
nagi: WHAT HAPPENED 😨
ranmaru: long story short turns out that the konbini lady used to be one of reiji's ex girlfriends back in highschool
reiji: SHE BROKE UP WITH ME CUS I DONT "FUCK GOOD" 🤬🤬🤬🤬
nagi: she ate and left no crumbs.
ai: well, this is besides the point
camus: She threatened to throw us out of the konbini herself.
ren: why the rest of u guys⁉️
ai: "I need you to leave with your little skittles squad. You and your little alphabet soup buddies. You and your alphabet mafia."
ranmaru: so on and so forth
ren: SHES STRAIGHT UP HOMOPHOBIC
nagi: AND FOR WHAT REASON????
reiji: well, I also cheated on her with her brother
van: BRO WHAT
yamato: BRO IS GOING AFTER THE WHOLE FAMILY TREE 💀
reiji: not my fault her nose was fat and in the way when we kissed
ren: HELP ME 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
ai: 4 4?
reiji: ATE
ranmaru: devoured
camus: He is the "IT GIRL".
nagi: u gotta stop teaching camus this shit 😭🙏