Work Text:
"You're a rock-star Mr Garza; you did great. Now we're gonna let you get some rest."
*****
Connor saw Will leave the room out of the corner of his eye but didn't immediately think anything of it; he had other things on his mind - like organising for more analgesia for his patient. As soon as the nurse (Connor had drawn a blank on her name, Marion? Melanie?) returned to the room, he passed on his instructions for a morphine infusion for Mr Garza's pain. Noah stayed for a minute or so, giddy with their combined success, before his pager went off calling him back down to the ED. Connor left the suddenly very cavernous room after signing the order for the morphine, pocketing his pen in his lab coat as he walked out through the door. He was about to go to the desk and ask for another patient's chart - he had a few up here in ICU after all - when the sight of the ED attending physician in one of the empty rooms caught his eye.
Curious, he put down the chart and walked into the room, steps quieting almost subconsciously as he approached the redhead standing hunched and surprisingly quiet in the room ahead.
"You alright?" he asked lightly as he entered, closing the door part-way behind him, part of him expecting the other man to either snap at him or attempt to laugh off the situation with his usual wry humour.
What he didn't expect, however, was to hear a quiet sniffle and the sound of someone attempting to stifle a sob. Quickly becoming concerned, the surgeon took a few steps closer as a worried frown deepened his brows. "Hey, you okay?"
"Why do you wanna know?"
His colleague's voice was so small, so tired, and even a bit defensive that Connor almost blanched - in the entire year or so that he'd spent at Med, he'd never heard Will Halstead sound so unsure of himself. "Because it's been a really shitty day and you've shut yourself in here all by yourself and you sound like you're barely keeping it together; sue me if I was concerned about you" he snipped back, crossing his arms as he felt some of his own annoyance creep back into his tone; it never seemed far away when he was dealing with the impulsive young doctor.
Will let out a scoff, shoulders hunching even further in on themselves as he reached out for an empty trolley for support. The surgeon was right: it had been a super shitty day and everything had just suddenly ploughed into him once his worry for Mr Garza had abated. He'd barely managed to get himself out of the patient's room before he let the first tears loose - he'd be damned if he let anyone see him break down.
Especially Connor fucking Rhodes.
"You sure you're not here just to shove your success in my face? Show off that - as usual - you can do what I can't, and probably never will be able to do? Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not in the mood for bowing down to the great Connor Rhodes tonight" he growled in response, but even to his own ears it sounded weak; just like he knew that he wasn't really angry at Rhodes, that he was just using it as a defense mechanism against the emotions fighting their way out.
Connor was silent for a few moments, and Will found himself praying that the surgeon had taken the hint and left, but he was soon startled by a warm hand squeezing his shaking shoulder, and a kind voice near his ear.
"Will, what's wrong?"
Connor's voice was gentle, but there was still something imploring about his tone - as if he really genuinely wanted to know what was bothering him, and at that point Will couldn't care less if the older doctor wanted to use this against him later or to mock him for his feelings right now, he found himself blurting out in response
"I could have killed that guy. Killed him: as in dead, not coming back, d-e-double-d dead. How are you not screaming your head off at me right now? Or at the very least giving me one of those famous 'I'm so brilliant I'm so much better than all the other doctors' stare that you seem to love throwing my way? Huh? Why aren't you?"
"Cause that's not what you need."
Will scoffed, a harsh sound in the otherwise silent room, and turned around to settle an exhausted glare at the surgeon - even as his dark eyes shone suspiciously in the low light of the ICU. “And what do I need then, huh?" he questioned sceptically, jaw clenching as it struggled to keep his lower lip from wobbling traitorously. "Recommending for board review? Suspension? Maybe you should just get Goodwin down here to chew me out for you if you're too much of a coward to do it yourself!"
His voice had risen by the end of his tirade, and Connor was startled when he felt a hand shove him backwards. He caught himself on the end of the bed beside him, staring back at the redhead in shock - and then he saw the tears streaming down his cheeks.
Sorry, what?! Where the hell has that come from?
Pulling himself upright, Connor took a few sure steps over to the younger doctor and - with only the briefest second's hesitation - brought his arms up and pulled his clearly distressed colleague into a hug. He kept his arms loose for the time being, but after the initial shock of feeling the surgeon's arms around him, Will was returning it with a ferocity that Connor wouldn't ever have expected from him. He could feel his friend trembling in his arms and he tightened his own as he felt something wet fall into the crook of his neck.
"You really think that lowly of yourself? You really think that we do?"
"Well, you haven't given me any reason to think otherwise until now" Will retorted wetly, pulling away and rubbing a hand across his eyes before slumping down onto the empty bed beside them, shoulders curling inwards as his fingers instinctively started to play distractedly with the hem of his shirt. "Everything I do always seems to be some massive screw up, and even when I'm so sure I'm doing the best I can I still manage to get on someone's bad side. I just can't win, no matter what I do."
"Will" Connor started, voice low and gentle - with just a hint of sadness. "That guy in there - the one you were so sure you'd killed? He's alive because of you. I helped, but if you hadn't done what you did to stabilise him in the field, then there wouldn't have been a guy for me and my team to operate on. You saved his life - that's worth more than any ego of mine that may or may not have been bruised because I would never have the balls to do what you did out there."
Large, glistening brown eyes flicked up to meet his own, and Connor gave a sad half-smile in response. "I didn't have any right to say what I did, or to doubt you like that. I wasn't there, I didn't know the exact circumstances that forced you to make that decision; I just saw something that I didn't think would work and that I wouldn't have been brave enough to even consider - let alone try - and you took the fallout from that. It really wasn't fair, and I'm sorry."
That got a surprised, even slightly startled, scoff out of his friend. "Never thought I'd live to see the day that Connor Rhodes apologises to me, of all people!"
Connor gave a chuckle of his own in reply, side-eying his colleague with a smirk curling his lips. "Yeah, well don't get too used to it, sunshine; I've got a reputation to maintain, after all" he sniggered, teasing smirk turning into a more genuine smile when Will laughed next to him. The redhead sobered surprisingly quickly but Connor was pleased to see that his eyes looked lighter and his shoulders less tense when their eyes met once more - as if a weight had been lifted from them at last - as he finally smiled at the surgeon, bumping his shoulder with something close to affection.
"Thanks Connor, really."
The other man stood with a clap to the shoulder and a smile. "Anytime, bud. Now, don't you have a marathon to get back to?"
Will's expression was confused for a fraction of a second before his eyes widened in realisation and he leapt to his feet. "Shit! Nina'll kill me if we don't actually go and finish the damn thing! It's been on her bucket list for years!"
With a knowing smirk, Connor gave him a gentle shove towards the door. "Well then, we mustn't leave the lovely Miss Shore waiting, hey? I've heard she can get quite ferocious if you're not on time." Ducking the swipe aimed at his head, Connor chuckled and shooed his blushing colleague out the door, but Will paused at the last moment, turning back to smile shyly at him.
"Um, she and I were gonna meet up with Jay and a few of the guys from the District afterwards for drinks at Molly's, you wanna join us?" There was something almost apprehensive and even the tiniest bit hopeful about his voice, and Connor found himself smiling warmly at his friend.
"Sure - I'll meet you guys there after I'm done. See you at about 8?"
Fully grinning now - even if his dark eyes still held traces of faint redness from his earlier distress - Will gave him a thumbs up and headed out of the ICU, grabbing Nina in a side hug on his way out and laughing at something the pathologist said.
Connor just shook his head fondly and went back out to continue his rounds - they'd started off rocky but maybe, just maybe, there might be a friend in Will Halstead after all.
*****
END
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