Chapter Text
Jue Shi didn’t sleep that night, too caught up with his own nerves and fear. He spent most of the night pacing around his guest room, meditating for only a small fraction of the night. Some part of his refused to sleep, though whether it was the part that was scared of meeting Binghe in his dreams again or the part that was wary of what he might dream of Liu Qingge, he wasn’t sure.
Either way, it didn’t really matter. He didn’t sleep anyways.
They left just before dawn.
Yang Yixuan had produced a lender sword for Jue Shi to ride, so he didn’t have to share with anyone. The blade felt too wide and clunky, heavy even under his feet. It wasn’t the slender and elegant blade he- remembered.
And that was another strange part.
He’d started to remember things, but without any context. He could find one chain link of his memory, but he could never fit any of them together. It was a shattered chain, a pile of links, but no connections.
He’d had a sword before, an elegant and slender blade that felt like an extension of himself. Liu Qingge hated small talk, but could be tempted into listening so long as there was tea in his cup. He’d sneakily refilled Liu Qingge’s cup several times. He used to sit in a bamboo forest and practice a dozen different instruments. Liu Qingge always seemed to pick those moments to fall from the sky, just to piss him off. Someone he’d known had disappeared, promising to come back. And he’d waited- for a long time.
It was maddening. Jue Shi thought about it all the way to where the Blue Star Forgetful Orchid grew.
The orchid grew through the cracks of a long-abandoned shrine, what had once been a place to pray for freedom of old sour memories. Jue Shi explained the practice as the four of them landed on the other side of the clearing.
“Master Jue is well informed,” Liu Mingyan hummed, a note of admiration in her voice. Jue Shi waved the compliment off and muttered something about reading often overlooked books. He caught sight of Liu Qingge staring at him with that same strange look in his eyes again, but Liu Qingge quickly turned away.
“We have to be careful when collecting the flower,” Jue Shi said, turning back to the two disciples, “The pollen from these flowers has the effect of erasing memories, which is quite dangerous.”
“Dangerous?” Yang Yixuan tilted his head. “I get how it’s bad, but… dangerous?”
Liu Qingge grunted, “Can’t fight pollen. It infects the air and you have to breathe. It’s not like you can hit it.”
Jue Shi’s eyes slid towards him, “Yes…,” he tangentially agreed. He spread his hand, “Memories make us who we are. Without memories, we’re lost, a blank slate that only holds the faintest traces of who we once were.” He could feel Liu Qingge staring at him again, a burning spot on the side of his head. Jue Shi quickly turned his head further away. “Though there is a cure for the effects of the pollen, it is best to avoid maladies whenever possible. It’s easier, safer.”
Liu Mingyan nodded, “I will be careful.” And before Jue Shi could say anything else, she marched across the clearing and started to carefully cut the flowers and tuck them into a bag at her waist. Jue Shi watched with a sense of dread, sure that at any moment something would go wrong. But nothing did. Liu Mingyan walked back to them, perfectly fine.
“We’ll move out of range of the pollen and set up camp for the night.” Liu Qingge said firmly. Jue Shi nodded, feeling like something in his perspective had shifted. But he didn’t know what.
~
When they settled down to camp for the night, Liu Qingge told them the story of how he’d fought the Silver-furred Lion Wolf. It was just as exhilarating as Jue Shi expected it to be. Yang Yixuan jumped in with his own story of fighting a water spirit. Afterwards, Liu Mingyan provided a story of her own, a skirmish against a group of Succubus. “It was a very informative experience,” she said simply, “I feel as though I have grown as a person and a warrior due to it.”
Jue Shi glanced at Liu Qingge from the corner of his eye, noticing that the man seemed to be lost in thought. There was an adorable flush spreading from his cheeks to his ears. Jue Shi felt a twinge of amusement as he figured that Dear Master Liu had likely had an ‘informative experience’ of his own.
“Master Jue?” Liu Mingyan’s interjection cut off his train of thought.
“Ah?! What?” Jue Shi blinked and felt himself flush, “Ah, sorry, what was the question?”
“Do you have any stories to share? You’re a rogue cultivator, right? You must have fought some interesting battles.” Liu Mingyan tilted her head, intrigued.
Jue Shi reached for something- anything that he might remember, “I think… hm…,” he twisted his veil around his fingers as he thought, “There was… a malevolent ghost using the woods surrounding a mountain town as a hunting ground.” He barely remembered the face of an old man, but the sharp twist of disgust and hatred in his stomach nearly sent him reeling. “It was a long time ago,” he said quickly, waving his hand dismissively, “I don’t remember it very well. It was not long after my… first teacher took me on.”
“You had more than one teacher?” Yang Yixuan gasped. “Why?!” He said it like it was the most unbelievable thing in the world.
Jue Shi fought the impulse to roll his eyes. “My first teacher died. My second took me on afterwards.” A pang of nostalgia twinged through his chest, “My first teacher wasn’t good at all…. My Shizun had to spend a lot of time circumventing all of the bad teachings I’d learned.”
It took him a moment to snap himself out of his thoughts. The others were all looking at him with complicated expressions. “Ah. But, that’s in the past…! The malevolent ghost….”
~
After the disciples had settled down for the night, Jue Shi found himself drifting over to where Liu Qingge had set himself up to keep watch. “May I join you?”
Liu Qingge gave a short grunt that seemed to be an agreement.
Jue Shi sat down next to him, crossing his legs underneath himself. The two of them shared a peaceful quiet for several long moments, keeping watch over the sleeping disciples.
“You should rest,” Liu Qingge’s voice broke the quiet, “Hunts take a lot of energy and you’re not used to flying and hunting all day.”
Jue Shi scoffed softly, “I’ll be just fine. I am fully capable to keep up with you, Master Liu.” He smirked as Liu Qingge gave him a sideways look. Jue Shi chuckled softly, “Yang Yixuan… it’s easy to tell that he’s your disciple….”
Liu Qingge’s eyebrows furrowed. “How so?”
“Well, one thing you have in common is… a proclivity for physical ‘discussions’.” Jue Shi laughed into his fist, then struggled to stifle a larger laugh at the look Liu Qingge was giving him. “And you have a similar sense of humor. I imagine you were quite a bit like him in your younger days.” Liu Qingge scowled at that. Jue Shi tilted his head, “I didn’t say that was a bad thing. I just was noting that students tend to take after their teachers.”
“Not always,” Liu Qingge said softly, something dreary crossing his expression.
Jue Shi felt like that was no longer a safe topic of discussion, though he wasn’t entirely sure why. He searched his mind for an abrupt change of topic. “Your sister thinks very highly of you,” he said quickly. Liu Qingge’s eyes snapped towards him again. “She… speaks very highly of you too.”
Liu Qingge turned his eyes away. “She shouldn’t,” he said quietly, so quietly that Jue Shi wasn’t sure he’d meant to say it aloud at all.
“I… I think very highly of you as well…,” Jue Shi looked away as he felt Liu Qingge’s eyes boring into the side of his head. “I…,” he fidgeted with his fingernails nervously, “I didn’t think- I doubted that there were people like you in this world…, someone who spoke of goodness and honor and truth… and actually meant it. So often I’ve seen people speak about being good and honorable and all that, only to turn back on their word the moment it’s no longer convenient. Even someone I trusted more than anything-…. I thought they were all liars and hypocrites, but you- you really mean it.”
Jue Shi turned to look at Liu Qingge, something in his chest feeling raw, open. “You speak of honor and goodness and you actually live by it, even when it’s to your own detriment and even when anyone else would have given up. You really… I really didn’t think there was anyone like you….”
“People should follow through with what they say,” Liu Qingge said firmly.
“Just because they should doesn’t mean they do.” Jue Shi smiled dryly. “But… thank you, Liu Qingge….”
“For what?”
“For being real.”
The words were out of his mouth before he’d even thought about what they were. Jue Shi felt his face flush darkly and leapt to his feet. “I think I will get some rest after all! You were right, Master Liu, I am not used to flying all day, so I must be tired! I’d best get some rest before tomorrow!” He marched over to the other side of camp and laid down with his back facing Liu Qingge.
For several long minutes, he was trapped in his own spinning mind, staring at the dark tree in front of him and wondering where the hell all that had come from. But as he heard Liu Qingge settle into meditation, Jue Shi felt himself relaxing. And soon, he drifted off to sleep, not remembering why he’d been avoiding doing so in the first place.
~
The dream was hazy, a messy wash of color and sound and touch. He only caught glimpses of the dreamscape, moments where the blur of images paused long enough to see clearly.
There was a young boy dressed in green, his fluffy hair a mess and his smile beaming with light. There was a man, dressed in neat black and grey clothes, wearing a polite smile that didn’t reach anywhere below skin level. There was a young girl in green, that he fondly watched grow from a tiny little thing to a brilliant young woman. There was a young man in green who had grown from a mindless follower to a leader all on his own. There was a woman, who was a young girl, who was a bitter woman, who was so kind, who only felt hatred now.
There was Liu Qingge, dressed in white, a heavy blush discoloring his cheeks as he looked away, abashed. His clothes were dripping wet as he held his hand out in an offer to help. Rose petals stuck to his clothes and his hair, the same deep red as his blush.
There was a young man in black, standing at the edge of his awareness, watching every scene play out with an intense, unwavering gaze. “-with Liu Qingge…? -running-… me?” The words were clipped and distorted, barely recognizable, until one rang out shockingly clear, “Shizun.”
~
Jue Shi jerked suddenly, bolting upright. His hand flew to his face, grabbing hold of his veil and pressing it against his face. His hand fisted in it, gripping it tight enough to feel the weave in his palm.
Binghe- that was….
What had Binghe- what had Luo Binghe called him-? Shizun? Shizun…? Why had he called him Shizun? It-… he couldn’t be…. Luo Binghe’s Shizun… was dead. His body-…. It must have been a mistake.
Right. A mistake.
That’s all it could be.
Jue Shi hadn’t realized he was shaking.
“Master Jue?”
“Yes?!” he yelped, jumping back from the voice.
Liu Mingyan blinked at him, her head tilting slightly. “Are you alright?”
Jue Shi forced his lungs to start working again as he nodded. “Yes, yes. I’m alright. I had a bit of a bad dream, that’s all. I wasn’t fully awake yet.” He forced himself to give a small laugh, hoping to appease the worried look on her face. It didn’t seem to help.
“Alright…,” Liu Mingyan murmured as she turned away. “Yang-shidi and my brother are hunting for breakfast now. We can leave for the Northern Arched Hills after we eat. Help me restart the fire?”
Jue Shi nodded and pushed himself to his feet. On slightly shaky legs, he joined Liu Mingyan by the firepit. They worked quietly and didn’t talk again until Liu Qingge and Yang Yixuan returned with the carcass of a wild pig.
As they ate, Liu Qingge kept glancing at Jue Shi, but he never said anything or brought up their conversation from the previous night. Instead, they listened to Yang Yixuan ramble on about the interesting foods in the different regions he’d visited. Liu Mingyan talked about some of her favorite sweets she’d gotten while traveling, and Liu Qingge even chimed in with, “The southern regions have meat skewers with good spices.” Once they’d finished eating, they finished with a small pot of rejuvenating tea that Mu Qingfang had apparently packed, the worrier.
“Do you have a favorite food, Master Jue?” Yang Yixuan asked excitedly.
Jue Shi thought for a moment, then confidently decided, “Tanghulu.”
“Really?” Liu Mingyan laughed softly, “I wouldn’t have suspected.”
Jue Shi shrugged, “I like a lot of street foods, especially sweet ones. I don’t eat them in front of people though.”
“Why’s that?” Yang Yixuan tilted his head.
“They’re messy and I have an image to uphold,” Jue Shi responded automatically, taking a sip of his tea.
Liu Mingyan and Yang Yixuan laughed. Liu Qingge huffed, almost rolling his eyes, and said, “You sound like a scholar.”
“I am a scholar,” Jue Shi responded. When Liu Qingge fixed him with a disbelieving look, he smiled, “One does not need a massive library to have a wealth of knowledge. And, contrary to common sentiment, a massive library alone does not make one a decent scholar.”
Soon after, they packed up and set off for the Northern Arched Hills. Jue Shi flew closer to Liu Qingge than he had the previous day. Something had changed- or settled, and his presence made Jue Shi feel safe. And actually, he admitted to himself, if it had just been the two of them, he might have already confessed to his amnesia and revealed himself.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the two disciples…, but Liu Qingge… just made him feel safe.
They landed in a clearing among the hills, a short distance away from where they were going, which Jue Shi realized he was the only one not aware of. “Perhaps this is a bit late, but what exactly are we looking for?”
Liu Qingge gave him a disbelieving look and huffed through his nose, turning and walking away. Jue Shi found himself to be rather offended by that.
“We’re looking for the monster that’s been hunting traveling caravans,” Yang Yixuan explained. “The survivors said it was large and moved low to the ground. They didn’t get a very good look at it.”
Jue Shi hummed, tapping his finger against his chin. “Hm. Located in this area… it’s safe to say it’s probably not a dislocated Scaled Dragon-Mimic. Though it could be a handful of demonic creatures, slipped through a rift, the most likely candidates are… a Horned Tree Stalker, a Web Spinning Beetle, or a Giant Leaf-Tailed Gecko.”
“How do you just know that…?” Liu Qingge muttered as he swiveled his head to stare back at him.
Jue Shi hummed and smiled, “I have an extensive wealth of knowledge.” Liu Qingge turned away and grumbled something under his breath. Jue Shi chuckled to himself. Liu Qingge was very fun to tease.
The four of them spread out, looking for traces of the animal. But as the hours wore on, they hadn’t seen any sign of anything large enough to successfully attack a caravan. They reconvened around noon, somewhat hoping that their prey might be lured out while they ate. They didn’t want to start a fire though, so Liu Qingge handed out dry rations, eating his own while leaning against a tree.
“We’ll go fetch some water,” Liu Mingyan volunteered, tugging a protesting Yang Yixuan away by his arm.
Jue Shi and Liu Qingge were left in silence.
It was… really awkward.
Jue Shi glanced at Liu Qingge, then looked away quickly, then looked back at him again. He hesitated, then sighed. He had to tell him. Any longer and he was going to lose his mind. “Ah-, Master Liu…? I… have a bit of a confession to make….” Liu Qingge turned towards him, raising an eyebrow. Jue Shi fiddled with his sleeve. “I… think that I’ve…. No, I know. I know that I’ve-.”
A sudden cry from beyond the clearing made both their heads snap towards it. That was the way Liu Mingyan and Yang Yixuan had gone!
With barely a thought or hesitation, Jue Shi and Liu Qingge were both racing towards the sound.
They found the other two being attacked by a group of five Giant Leaf-Tailed Geckos. Because the universe just loved making him suffer.
Liu Mingyan was just managing to hold off three of them near the tree line, and ducked under a wad of spit one of the geckos lobbed at her, while Yang Yixuan was being backed towards a weathered wooden dam by the other two. Liu Qingge ran to help his sister while Jue Shi veered to assist Yang Yixuan.
The weathered dam was connected to a mostly dry river bed, almost as deep as Jue Shi was tall, and a pond brimming with water, ready to flood. Whoever had constructed the dam had done quite a good job, because despite its obvious age, it was really hanging in there. Jue Shi got the sinking feeling that before the fight was done, that dam was going down.
“Hey!” he shouted to get the geckos’ attention as he charged in at the same time as Liu Qingge gave out a battle cry and descended on the others.
Unfortunately, it worked.
One of the geckos turned to look at him, but so did Yang Yixuan. The gecko that Jue Shi didn’t distract whipped around and backhanded the boy with its tail, sending him flying. Jue Shi felt like he should be cursing some cruel, boneheaded god, but the name of the god escaped him.
Yang Yixuan tumbled back into the dry river bed with a yelp. Jue Shi let his borrowed sword fly forward. It speared the nearest gecko, effectively killing it. The second gecko jumped out of the way, landing on the dam. There was a loud crack sound as the wood snapped under its weight. Water started gushing out of the crack in the dam.
Of fucking course.
Jue Shi cursed under his breath, hearing Liu Qingge taking down a gecko on his side of the clearing. “Yang Yixuan, are you alright?” he called down into the dry river bed, not taking his eyes off the gecko on the dam. If he speared it recklessly, he’d just take the rest of the dam down that much faster.
“Um…!” Yang Yixuan’s voice sounded slightly strained. Oh no. “I’m caught on- on some kind of plant…!” Jue Shi shuffled over to the edge of the river bed, taking a quick glance into it.
Growing out of the steadily growing stream at the bottom of the river bed was a bunch of Strangling River Algae. It was slowly winding its way around Yang Yixuan’s legs and sword arm.
“Shit.” Jue Shi clicked his tongue and jumped down into the river bed. He scrambled to cut away the algae, more concerned with getting them out of the river bed quickly rather than getting the algae off of him.
At the sound of groaning wood, Jue Shi felt his heart stop. He raised his eyes just in time to watch the gecko leap off the dam.
Several things happened in very quick succession over the following moments.
The dam broke, releasing the pressurized water behind it. The water burst forward, carrying with it large pieces of debris.
Jue Shi grabbed Yang Yixuan by the scruff of his robes and flung him out of the riverbed. Jue Shi tried to leap out after him, only to find that the Strangling Algae had wrapped around his foot while he’d been freeing Yang Yixuan.
The water barred down on him.
‘Motherfucking System! Motherfucking Plot! Fuck you too, Airplane!’
The flood of water slammed into Jue Shi, knocking him off his feet. The Strangling Algae acted as both an anchor and a pivot point. It held him in place just enough for the force of the water to slam his head against a rock.
Water rushed over him as black spots swam through his vision, slowly taking over. ‘You can, you up- go fuck yourselves….’
The last thing Jue Shi thought he saw was a streak of white flash above the water.