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Delicate Fingers That Grip Yours

Summary:

Eren finally sees that he can't live without Armin.
Armin sees the same.
Everyone else sees the tragedy waiting for them around the corner.

or

Alternate events after chapter 84

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The sun had been down for many hours. Hanji convinced Eren to leave the sleeping body of Armin for the few moments needed to do his duty and the second they knew they were secure he swung to the undamaged house Mikasa found and by the blonde again.

He cried. God, Eren cried so hard Mikasa had to force him out of the room and drink water so he wouldn’t hyperventilate. Honestly, she needed that for herself too. Taking care of Eren was the only thing keeping her from following the long-faced titan with the beast shifter, but she didn’t have the gear to do so. If she did she would have most definitely been killed as soon as they spotted her.

“Do you think he’ll be okay? Armin will be alright, right?” Eren said his words barely a whisper. His hands shook as they did on the trail there that morning, like when Armin was there to comfort him.

He felt so weak and so god damn scared. He couldn't... He just couldn't lose Armin.

Mikasa didn't want to lie to him. That would only hurt him more if she was wrong. Yet telling him the truth could be even more devastating.

"I... I think he'll be okay. We saw what happened, as soon as he wakes he'll be like you." She kept her eyes focused on Eren's hands.

The boy wiped his eyes and nodded, still looking scared. But, this was him, Eren. Armin would be okay and he could finally tell the blonde what he should have said long ago.

"Mikasa, I think l lo-"

"Stop. You don't have to say it, I know." She placed a hand on his knee and let her eyes find his. They shared a moment of emotions neither would ever be able to describe, a moment of pure understanding and love and just care for each other. Since children, they’d never been far from the other. Always in one another's space and face and god, was it annoying sometimes, but the two had never felt a connection like this before.

“Hello, you two. How’s he doing?” Hanji walked through the door and called softly to them. Their eye seemed to be stable enough but they winced with every step taken. Levi trailed behind, eyes puffy. No one would acknowledge it.

Mikasa spoke. “He seems to be doing alright for now. Should wake up any time. Eren on the other hand,” She rolled her eyes in Eren's direction. “Won’t try to get any sleep. He’s been up forever and he’s so exhausted but until Armin wakes up...” She trailed off as if nothing more needed to be said.

“Eren, you need to sleep. After all you’ve done, let’s lay out something for you in Armin’s room. Then you’ll be the first to know when he wakes.” Their voice was calm, an almost parental tone to it. Soft smiles only came from Hanji, everyone else relished in it.

"I don't-"

Coughing. Raspy coughing and the shifting of old wood.

Eren was the first to the room, knocking a chair and canteen of water over in the process. None tried to stop him.

He called the boy’s name. The blue eyes sleepily gazing up at his own green ones were ones of pure beauty and held a power over Eren, unlike any other known.

"Eren," Armin whispered, fingers lifting slightly from the bed. "What happened?"

Like before, Eren was barely able to get any words out before he was interrupted.

"I talk to him. I get to tell him." Levi said, voice stern and not leaving any room up for debate.

Eren barely tried to protest, he just dragged a chair to the bedside and held tight to Armin’s shirt sleeve.

So, for the next half hour or so, Levi explained in great detail the events that lead up to Armin getting injected with the Titan fluid. He explained every agonizing detail of Erwin’s promise and last breaths and gave Eren a look so terrifying it shut him up immediately when he tried to stop the cruel words. He explained how hard his friends fought and even what they did to stop him.

Throughout all of this, Armin didn't say a word. Many times he looked like he wanted to but then he'd look at Eren's wide eyes and didn't say whatever was on his mind. The blonde couldn't put the pieces together.

"Insubordination. All my time here and never has anyone lived after pulling something like that. You keep him in check from now on or I won't hesitate to carry out his punishment." Levi stood from his seat and walked to the door. He stopped momentarily and gave a slight nod to the two.

"We'll be going out to look for food. We don't have enough for us all right now and we have to stay until Armins recovered. The four of us will be back before sunrise."

With that the man left, closing the door behind him.

The silence that followed was near deafening. Armin was still processing what he'd heard and Eren was using every bit of strength he had not to confess every thought he'd ever had about Armin and hold his face close to count the microscopic specks of gold in those blue eyes.

"Armin I-"

"Why did you do that? Why did you pull all of that for me?" The blond asked, voice scratchy, full of emotion. "You know Erwin would have been the better choice, you know he's better."

Tears slid down his face, down by his ears. They weren't tears of malice, but tears of fear and concern.

Eren looked at his best friend, the light from the lanterns gave his face a sunken look. He seemed as if he was a malnourished child.

“Because I don’t think I could live without you, Armin. I-I wouldn’t be able to do… anything if you weren’t here. You’ve always been my… You've been mine."

Though these were the ramblings of a teen boy with too many thoughts to turn into words and they made such little sense anyone could see what he was trying to convey.

"If you left me, I don't know what I would do."

And Armin was silent. His mind was working slow, by the time he figured out the words meant he had to think more to figure out what they mean. And when that was done he had to sit more and concentrate on not letting his face grow red. Because if those stupid words mean what he thinks they mean, he's screwed.

"I… I don't know… Eren," the blonde stuttered out. " I don't know what you mean."

God, they were both so dense.

 

After many minutes of stuttering and groaning, the point was gotten across.

"Damnit Armin, I like you!" He half-shouted and stood quickly. Eren paced for a moment, finally settling by the door. He was folded into himself, arms crossed and back hunched. Eyes wide and tanned cheeks a deep shade of red, he continued.

"Why do you have to make me say it? You're supposed to be smart!"

I want to hold your hand and lay with you and smile at you and if I lose you I'll go so crazy that I'll go off into titan territory alone and never come back.

The message was understood.

Notes:

I may continue this soon, I like the idea so far