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Maruki was just done explaining the entire reality, setting a rather serious tone in the room as he left. When he opened the door, a small breeze blew in that was abruptly stopped with the slamming of the door. No matter how cool the breeze was, it didn’t compare to the ice that set its way into Ren’s heart. Silence filled the air with a chokehold that was incomparable. Akechi soon stood up from where he was sitting before.
“I’ve had enough waiting. We’re settling this right here, right now Amamiya. What do you intend to do? Stop Maruki and set us all free, or stay in this reality and let everyone lose their sanity and pretend to be happy with what they’ve gotten?” He asked it bluntly, the hollow crimson eyes staring straight into Ren’s soul.
Ren didn’t feel fear at all though, just felt that what he was being asked was rather scary. He had seen Maruki’s reality for himself, how happy it made so many others... If he had taken it, everything would be fine, right? Akechi would still be alive. They could both achieve what they wanted, but for the cost of Akechi’s will. The thing he seemed to want other than to have a second chance with Ren. “I... I want everyone to be happy. There’s a part of me that wants to take the deal so you can be alive. But there’s the other half that knows you won’t accept it, that I would be selfish. You’ve stated this many times,” Ren paused in his explanation, trying to find more words quickly before he fumbled and fell into an utter chaos of emotions.
“I know I’m going to die if we go through with this, but I could give less of a shit about it." Akechi crossed his arms, fury within his voice. "This deal is all trivial to me, my life will no longer have meaning if you do take that deal, Amamiya. Do you understand me!?" He felt like he could grab Amamiya by the collar of his shirt and threaten him at any moment, but would that give more reason to take the deal? So that he would be more docile, and they could play around? He felt his anger stirring within the pot, but he put the top on it so that he wouldn't explode with rage.
"Yes, I understand..." Ren paused, his expression showing no sign of regret nor implications of how he truly felt. It was quite the decision to make with such an important role. "... But your life isn't trivial to me. I'm sure the rest of the Phantom Thieves would agree." He replied, giving a form of a smile that was supposed to be sincere. But it only gave Akechi more horrid emotions.
It felt like some form of battle between a cat and a mouse. Akechi, the mouse. He was the decoy for something bigger that he had no control over. Ren, the cat in this situation. He was the one hunting for a reason to stay, despite having many. There were many reasons to stay in this reality and be happy. That Ren and Akechi could have a start over without any worries, finally be able to achieve what they hadn't before. Why did it still ache Ren to say that he wanted to stay? Because he knew Akechi didn't share the same idea, the same vision. Akechi thought of it as something disgusting, revolting even. To be brainwashed into believing in a happy reality, he'd never accept it unless Ren forced him to.
"So, you're going to show me pity now? Of all times? No wonder they call you Joker, you're some joke of a hero." Akechi meant every single word that came out of his mouth. Though, it felt as if his mask was failing to keep up with him as well, exposing his anger and fear. It terrified him so much that all he had done would be for nothing whatsoever. To be put in someone's control again, he'd rather die than suffer through that. Shido had taught him that very well, and he had only come to that realization and awoken to his true self because of Ren. Could Ren not see how much he truly needed guidance? That Joker had been shrouded by the clouds of doubt? No, it couldn't be...
"It's not pity for me to care about you, Akechi! It wouldn't be at all! Why else would I have this decision if I wasn't the one who wished for you to live? For you to be happy?" Ren's voice reflected how he felt. The amount of pain in his heart and how much he had truly missed Akechi. Regret filled his throat with a slightly choking sensation, forcing Ren to hold back tears. In order to not seem weak, he must stay strong so that maybe Akechi can see how much he meant and accept it.
“Do you think I’m just going to stand around and be happy with this bullshit, Amamiya!?” Akechi asked bluntly, crossing his arms. The poor detective just wanted a bit of freedom in his life, and he was just one step away from it... Why was he taking it away from him by accepting this reality?
“You may just have to. I’m happy with you, Akechi. Your life isn't trivial to me so I’m deciding to stay where we can both be happy together! I... I just want to be happy with you! I love you for fucks sake!” Ren responded, holding back a rush of tears from gracing his mind, his heart, but especially to Akechi's gaze.
"..." Akechi's expression twitched between shock and anger. Just quite tipping the boat to let out some steam. "Our deal's off, Amamiya. I see what it is you truly want, and I cannot stop you." He gave a sweet smile, though that was just his lie. He did not feel happy, just betrayed in every single form possible. Ren Amamiya, the traitor of reality. Even if he wouldn't remember the words of the title given, he'd know that something just felt off. Why would he put him through this torture if he loved him!? It did not feel right. But no longer could he care. He wouldn't believe a word Amamiya said for the life of him anymore like he had a life to go back to. It all just didn't matter.
"See you tomorrow. Thanks for nothing." Akechi himself was holding back the urge to scream and cry. He wasn't real from the start, and yet Amamiya preferred to live with a corpse. He saw it all now, how it was all plotted against him the whole time. How cruel fate is.
Perhaps this is where Akechi's justice ended instead.
The next day, waking up to nothing. Ren knew everything, and so did Maruki. The two that held the hands of fate that nobody else was aware of. Neither of their intentions were truly 'evil', they just had their own personal reasons for trapping everyone inside this raven's cage.
- The Truth within Lies -
When Ren had woken up, he immediately got dressed and went downstairs into the kitchen of Leblanc. The attic was never the most comfortable place, but he had gotten used to it at this point. The pillow and sheet didn't serve as much to help it but at least he had a mattress in the first place, couldn't entirely complain.
"Morning, Sojiro." He greeted him, looking around to the tables that were empty. They were just now going to open of course, so he hadn't expected any less. Just then, he heard his phone ring and swiftly picked it up from his pocket. "Hello?" The voice he heard made him smile with glee. It was just slowly creeping up onto his face. Maybe this reality was worth it, this was just evidence.
"Amamiya, hello. It's me, Akechi. I was hoping you and I could perhaps hang out together today? A game of chess at Leblanc wouldn't bore you too much, would it?" Akechi's voice always carried that cheerful kindness when offering to play. Though, Ren had sensed a bit of dullness to the voice he usually heard, and it made him rather somber instead of the joy he should've been feeling from the invitation. No, he shouldn't let some slight coincidence ruin his day. It had merely just started! Maybe Akechi was tired too! To hell if he knew.
"Oh, of course. I'm always up for a round with you unless I'm focused on my barista skills." Ren responded with a small nod.
"I'll see you later then, I look forward to our next battle Amamiya! May the best person win." Not like either of them had anything to actually win out of it, just that it was enjoyable to have each other's company and pretend like it was a battle in the first place. Just like nothing had changed between them, and he wouldn't have to see Akechi frown no more.
Everything felt... Less than normal, sure. But that didn't mean it wasn't peaceful. Maruki said the real world was dangerous, but was giving everything up for this reality better? It made everyone's hard work just for something they could've said 'yes' to from the very start.
Ryuji was happy on the track team, Sumire was living her life as Kasumi Yoshizawa (the sister she always wanted to be), Morgana was happy as a human and without the burden of being a cat, Haru could spend time with her father again, Futaba could finally talk to her mother because she's back alive, Yusuke was living his best life as a painter of his dreams! Being recognized for all of it! And Makoto was happy to spend some quality time with her sister and father. What else could he have forgotten?
Akechi.
Akechi was... Was Akechi happy? He seems to be at the very least. That was most likely due to the brainwashing Maruki had done. But Ren was happy. Akechi was still here... They both got their wish. Their wish to see each other again. . . Those words of reminder felt meaningless. Meaningless hopes, meaningless tragedies. Everything was for nothing at all. And Ren stood right in the middle of it all, the selfish culprit to exhibit his friends to such torture of their own minds. Their own free will just for everything they've ever wanted.
The bell to Leblanc ran, a few footsteps walking in.
"Akechi...?" Ren had expected the brunette to be there at the door, but instead it was Takuto Maruki himself. The one who had created it all. His reasons were to 'grant the wishes of humanity', but Akechi had said he found Maruki to be a liar. That Maruki was doing it for his own sake as well, why else would he have been a palace ruler in the first place?
"Nope, just me! Dr. Maruki!" Maruki exclaimed with an enthusiastic grin, one that was plastered onto his face almost all of the time. He too knew that it was all just fake but embraced it like it was all real. The puppeteer of a show, and even Ren was being pulled on strings.
"Ah, well. It's nice to see you here. Akechi said he was going to play a game of chess with me, so I was just expecting him here." Ren pulled the conversation as if he needed an explanation to why he had mistaken Maruki for Akechi in the first place.
"Oh no worries Amamiya-Kun. I was just checking in on how you were doing is all! Mind if we have a little chat to ourselves? Perhaps just outside?" Maruki asked, his gaze landing on Ren quite quickly. Ren knew what this was about immediately as he asked for them to chat in private. It was about the new reality, and how he was enjoying it. Exposing that this reality was fake to those brainwashed would lead to a disaster, so Maruki knew to take his precautions as well when needed.
"Would you like some coffee first, though?" Sojiro had offered Maruki some coffee, to which the other accepted with a cheesy grin. Everyone had always enjoyed Leblanc's coffee, an offer none could really resist.
Once everything had settled down, Ren and Maruki took a step outside, shutting the door to Leblanc just to hear the ringing bell again. The backstreets of Yongen-Jaya were often nearly empty, a perfect place to share secrets and more.
"So, Amamiya-Kun. How are you liking the reality we've all agreed to?" Maruki asked, both of his hands within their respective pockets.
A breeze blew through the streets, messing with unkempt black and brunette hair which in the end, neither had bothered to fix. Perhaps the wind could also blow away Ren's worries as well? No, there was almost zero hope for that happening. No miracles can happen in a reality that's supposed to be perfect. The strife in life is what makes everything much more satisfying when you overcome it. Ren had just realized this a bit too late to save even himself. The guilt was killing him by each passing second when he saw all of his friends in a sort of happy state. Were they truly happy? Or is the mask the reality put on them still in control of them?
"Mhm. I'm fine with this reality, everyone is happy. So, I am too." The response was a lie, a horrid one at that. But Ren was cunning and knew how to persuade his way around with ease. If he could even fool the 2nd Detective Prince, who was to say that Maruki knew it all? Reading his mind even? Maruki would have to rely on Ren's words.
"Well, I'm happy to hear that you're satisfied as well. I was right to say you and Akechi had an unusual relationship, now I can watch it bloom as well." Maruki spoke as if it was some TV show he could just watch, but would never have any replays going on. It felt weirdly disgusting in a way that he found what the two had said to each other entertaining. Even if he meant it genuinely, it sure didn't sound all that great.
"You've made the right decision for everyone. Never let go of the dreams that await you. If you have anything, just say it to me and I'll help! After all, I can grant any wish you so desire!" Maruki was sounding like some genie from a bottle, but one that would grant an infinite amount of wishes at the tips of his fingers. Just pour your heart and mind out and what you get in return is a false happiness. "Oh and, one more thing... You should invite Akechi to the Jazz Jin some time, I'm sure he'd appreciate it coming from you." He concluded with a sweet smile.
Trying to predict Goro Akechi? It felt like a mistake nobody dared to attempt. To assume things about a detective was quite arrogant. Though, who was Ren to say Maruki didn't know Akechi too well? The one he had met during Sae's Palace, and the Akechi he met during Maruki's before he accepted were completely different. He still wanted to believe that the true Akechi laid deep within Shido's Palace. Like a coffin that had been buried right where they had lost his signal.
"Well, I'll see you around then." Ren more or less asked that than a statement itself, unsure whether he even wanted to see Maruki again and feel even more interrogated with each and every word he spoke. It was all so bitter and cold that Ren couldn't care about this reality anymore. He just watched as Maruki trotted away with a grin upon his face, thinking what he did was truly saving everyone.
Ren thought back to Akechi. Yes, he had truly fallen in love with him... That both could never predict what the other would do or say next and that he had found peace within the mystery. That if he got closer to Akechi he'd be able to steal his heart and they'd be chasing each other until the end. That's the ending Ren truly wanted. That's why he didn't want Akechi dead. He cared, but now all he felt was that Ren was selfish for his decisions. His mind was blinded by what he assumed was care for the detective but was just selfishness for his own wishes that he disregarded Akechi's.
Oh he felt so truly sorry. Ren could scream out to the world how sorry he was for Akechi and it wouldn't answer. Because that would mean he had some doubts in the reality Maruki had. Maruki wouldn't settle for it in no way.
Ren didn't realize how much he had spaced out within his thoughts, the thing snapping him back into reality being Akechi's voice.
“Hey, Amamiya. Was expecting you to meet me inside but this is more of a pleasant surprise! What're you doing out here in the cold? You may as well get hypothermia and die right in front of my eyes.” Akechi huffed, always seeming to find a way to make it seem like he didn't care about the other as much as he did. He prompted Ren to go inside with a charming grin and soon settled down at a table.
Ren opened the door rather weakly, though hoping it wasn't noticable how much pain he felt he was going through with this amount of guilt.
The two sat down at a table, one carefree while the other was unable to move from the seat. The petrification of memories, like he'd look into Akechi's eyes that told more stories than he could count the words to. Such literature that held the beauty of poetry and the length of novels. But, they all ended with ‘I hate you, Amamiya’.
Out of the two, Akechi was the one to not believe that the eyes were the windows to the soul. He believed that justice must be dealt with through words that would pierce the heart with a ferocious stab. A wound that would never be healed and leave the words to bleed out until the body was lifeless.
Right now, Ren wasn't even being targeted but he feel victim to it. He felt the wound too late and was slowly bleeding out and falling straight into regret. He could hardly look into Akechi's gaze anymore and lost focus, looking down to the chessboard right in front of them.
“Well, it's your move. Take all the time you need.” Akechi spoke, a gloved hand gesturing to him what other words could not speak. It was like a personal time limit before he'd just make a move himself.
Ren's mind couldn't process it all though. The game, to the reality, to the consequences, to how empty Akechi seemed. He seemed just normal though, so why didn't it feel right? This wasn't Akechi. That wasn't him! He wanted the real Akechi back.
It's far too late to wish for things long gone now.
Ren knew Maruki said he could go to him any time about the wish for the real Akechi back but he knew of the reaction he'd get in return.
‘But, don't you want to reconcile with him? The Akechi you ask for claims to hate you! Two star-crossed lovers who's had their fate changed. Please, go be happy with Akechi. You'll warm up to him like he has to you.’ That's what Ren had imagined. Maruki would never accept a wish of doubt. A place of no return that disguised itself as paradise, when it was really hell.
“I... I can't do this.” Ren mumbled, his eyes losing focus, fingernails burrowing into locks of black hair and into his skull. Deep, heavy breaths escaping his lips. The true panic of pressure kept on cracking through and soon enough he found tears flowing down his face.
Akechi had found himself flabbergasted, processing it for a few moments before immediately standing up to offer help. “Take deep breaths, Amamiya! It's alright! Just slowly go back to your senses.” He instructed with a pained expression. He did feel bad for Ren but how could this randomly happen? Akechi felt it was unnatural, but knew he needed to help regardless.
Sojiro gave instructions from behind the counter, saying to find 5 things he can see, 4 things he can touch and so on. A countdown of the senses that brought Ren back to reality eventually. It definitely wasn't helping the first time, but the second time made things better enough for him to evaluate everything around him.
Sure, Ren was no longer panicking but that didn't stop the empty feeling within himself. A cycle of emptiness, confusion, doubt, and guilt that he'd suffer with as a consequence for his selfishness. He sure felt sorry now that he didn't listen to Akechi, valuing his life. His physical form more than Akechi's true mind and will. Even Sojiro wasn't one who knew whatsoever either. Just Maruki controlled the world, and Ren had to be conscious about it. A wild card that quickly became a jester.
“I regret everything I've done. You don't deserve to give me this happiness, Akechi.” Ren shook his head, being blunt with both himself and Akechi. He pulled himself up from the seat he sat in, hands gripping onto the counter. It had been a struggle considering the stress he went through but that did not mean he could not speak nor move.
“The hell do you mean, Amamiya? You're the most caring person I know, you sure deserve some back!” This Akechi was sympathetic, a bit of milk and sugar added to some bitter coffee. Ren never had a preference in coffee, made it to his own will. But he sure as hell didn't find any peace in hearing that at all.
“I'm not who you think I am. I'm the most selfish person to the planet. I don't deserve you,” Ren gripped Akechi's gloved hands with a bittersweet smile. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes. He dared not to move just in case the tears would overfill his eyes and start spilling once again. His grip loosened on the gloves shortly enough before letting go.
“Just know that I love you Akechi. You were a person I always had interest in and even surpassed my beginning thoughts on you. You're quite the opponent, and I know you must be happy to hear I'll let you have this win.” Ren handed Akechi his scarf as a sort of gift that spoke ‘I promise to make things better’. Just like Akechi had thrown him his glove to promise another challenge.
“Unfortunately, I'll have to postpone our tournament for tomorrow. I have some plans I need to think out.” How would he ever be able to reverse this? Was he just stuck this way with no return? This empty Goro Akechi, the hollow Detective Prince.
All of this had left Akechi speechless, his grip on the scarf completely lost in moments and had almost not noticed it dropped out of his hands. “... Alright, I'll trust you to another match once you fix yourself up then, Amamiya. Please do take care of yourself.” His eyebrows furrowed in concern, soon returning to an original expression of his and peered over to Sojiro.
“I'll be back later to check in on Amamiya then, please make sure he doesn't have another attack.” Akechi spoke to Sojiro, making it a form of deal or promise.
Sojiro in return gave a nod. “Alright then, kid detective. I'm taking care of him you know? Not like I would let something so shattering to him slide.” Neither had a clue why that happened, and they'd never know.
Akechi gave one last glance to Ren before leaving with a “I love you too, Amamiya.” and another sweet smile as if to say ‘Get better soon,’ without any words necessary.
“Sojiro.. Is it fine to say I have regrets about many things? I've done horrible enough things, you've already known that. But, what if if it's guilt that never ends?” Ren had noticed a blue book on the counter then, picking it up and reading the cover. Crossword Puzzles.
Wasn't this Akechi's? He used to write in it quite a lot. Would see him on it time to time. When opening it, he found a key set of words in the corner. Proof of justice.
Had Ren lost his proof of justice then? Gave up everyone's just for the easy way in life. Some hero he was, Akechi was right. He was a joke.
“You've done all you could, you're not horrible. Please get some rest, I'm sure you need it.” Sojiro's expression was quite saddened, setting down the cup he was cleaning for a few brief moments.
If he had done everything, then why was the outcome so horrible? Ren gave a nod regardless of his own thoughts and actions. He went up into his room, shutting the door close behind him before sitting down on his bed. Perhaps tomorrow is another day.
Just another day in the cycle of guilt he'll never resolve.