Chapter Text
Maria's never got a better sleep than that night after her father's funeral. Ironically, it was on a tiny bed that had been untouched for 8 years, in her girlfriend's embrace, after a painful conversation with her mother.
Their flight wasn't until noon, so they took the morning very slowly. When Natasha woke up hugging a pillow instead of her girlfriend, she got a little confused, but her gaze followed a quiet sigh at the corner of the bed.
"Baby, what are you doing?" asked sleepy Natasha. Maria flinched but eventually gave her girlfriend a desperate smile with a silent 'Good morning'.
"No matter how hard I try, I can never do my braids as well as you do." she placed her hand on top of Natasha's.
"You suddenly wanna braid your hair?" Nat's eyes were surprised, in a good way.
"Well, you know what they say... you are what you eat." Maria looked at Natasha, trying to keep a straight face.
It took them both around three seconds to start laughing, "I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that..." Nat shook her head, still smiling.
"What? Can't I sometimes be funny?" Maria tilted her head towards her girlfriend. Natasha just took both her hands in attempt to get closer to her.
"I fucking love you," she grinned and cupped Maria's face to kiss her. Only a short silent knock on the door could separate them.
"Come in."
The doorknob slowly turned, "Good morning, I hope I didn't wake you up." It was Diane. She opened the door with a smile and a small red box in her hands. Natasha watched Maria's facial expression change, seemingly recognizing whatever her mom was holding.
"I–uh... I found these in the trash after you left. I always hoped I'd give them back to you." she said with a sentimental smile on her face, Maria had never seen one, but she was pretty sure if there was such thing as a sentimental smile, this was it.
Her mother turned to leave. But Natasha noticed her hesitate. She eventually turned around, looking into the ground.
"I... I know I didn't make it easier for you two to be here... I wanted everything to be perfect, I didn't want your father's relatives to make it about you and your thing, but in the process I managed to make all of this... about me. I'm sorry, Maria. I'm sorry, Natasha." she rubbed her eyes.
Natasha sighed, "I made mistakes, in the past. Huge mistakes. And–"
"You don't– have to..." Maria stopped her.
"Let me," she caressed her hand and carried on, "The thing is, if you knew what I've done, you'd probably never let me to your house ever again. You'd want me to leave your daughter– both your daughters alone. And I know these are two completely different situations but... Maria is a saint. If she has it in her to trust me, to rely on me, I believe you two will also once trust each other fully again." Natasha smiled, "Plus, to be fair I wasn't the nicest to you, either."
If you told Natasha from one week ago that she'd be hugging Maria's mother, who she despised from the way Maria described her, in one of her very rare talks about home, she'd laugh at you.
________________________
They got on the plane shortly after saying goodbye and promising Alice that she could visit as long as she gives them a heads up beforehand.
The silent flight gave them both time to think about this trip. They didn't know, but both of them marked it in their heads as a success.
Clint picked them up at the airport with a little 6-year-old surprise in the car. Her name was Lila, their tiny friend.
"Auntie Nat! Auntie Maria!!" she screamed as she recognized them in the crowd and decided that running towards them and hugging them in the middle of a parking lot was a good idea. Fortunately, she didn't get hurt nor caused any cars to stop rapidly at the sight of this young cheerful body.
"Hey, little one," Natasha picked her up, "I heard you've been very brave!"
"Yes! I was at the doctor's yesterday and daddy promised if I was brave I can go pick you up with him!" she smiled proudly at the both of them.
"Well, since you've been so brave, I think you deserve a sweet treat from your aunts." Maria scrunched her nose in a smile.
The happiness of this child could be seen from a mile away. They all headed to their apartment. Little Lila was playing with her favorite cat, Liho, while Maria was baking something sweet in the kitchen, and Clint with Natasha discussed The Avengers initiative a little further, since they didn't have much time to do so.
"With the green guy or maybe even the lightning one, and Stark in the picture now, I think Fury has a bigger chance of succeeding than ever. I still don't know why he didn't recruit Maria, though. I get that he wouldn't want us both in the team since we're dating, but why me? Why not her?" Natasha wondered, Maria smiled at the words she overheard, knowing damn well that if Fury ever came to her with such offer, she'd immediately turn it down. She wasn't made for the screens and titles of magazines like her gorgeous renaissance girlfriend. Or Captain America. Or Tony Stark.
It's not what she wanted. Not before, not now, not ever. Being an agent, a deputy director of SHIELD, that's what she valued.
But all this Natasha's thinking got her wondering... looking back at what she said to her mother in Chicago that morning.
Clint and Lila left with a box full of colorful cookies made by Lila, with a little bit of Maria's help.
Natasha sneaked up behind her girlfriend in the bathroom, brushing her teeth and hugged her from behind as always.
"You'd say I'd get used to this by time and barely ever get startled," Maria laughed, "But I guess I'm still taken by you just as much as the day we went to that old bar. Or the day in the hospital when you decided to kiss me, maybe even more."
Natasha kissed her girlfriend's bare shoulder and smiled, "And look where we are now."
They built their entire lives around each other. Maybe that's a scary thought for someone, but not these two. Natasha was convinced she'd never get tired of talking to Maria, of sleeping beside her and waking up to see her beautiful face, braiding her hair, eating the delicious dishes she cooked, driving to work with her, forcing her to dance in her arms, even though 'forcing' is a strong word, since she knew Maria secretly enjoyed it. She'd never get tired of them trying to solve their issues together.
Speaking of issues...
"Listen... what you said back there... Nat are you still blaming yourself that much for all those things from your past?" Maria suddenly started after a while of them silently brushing their teeth.
"I..." Natasha took a deep breath, "The truth is I don't think I'll ever be able to stop blaming myself. A part of myself. I don't know. I'm sorry if what I said to your mom was wrong. You know– in the sense of you forgiving her. You obviously aren't obligated to do that. I just..."
"No, no, that's– you were right. You said that because you know me so well. That's the least I'm worried about," she took her hand and brought it up to kiss her knuckles, "It just makes me feel helpless when you blame yourself for things you shouldn't and there's no way in which I can convince you to change the way you see yourself."
"I know. I wish I didn't see myself this way, too. But if it makes you feel any better, I do have hope that one day I'll be as free from the red room as it gets. That is, if you want to stick around for that long." Natasha leaned her head on Maria's shoulder.
"I want to stick around forever."
_______________________