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Learning that his greatest nemesis in this lifetime was the son of his mother’s closest friend felt like another blade striking through Tobio’s heart, punishing him for not trying his best enough to become the best.
Seeing said nemesis greeting him with a “Oh God. Not you again.” with the most disgusted look on his face that easily matched the look on Tobio’s face as they stared each other down in the doorstep felt like a match waiting to light him on fire.
Having to listen to his mother implicitly talking down on him and his efforts without a care in the dinner table in front of said nemesis who’s better than him felt like an endless void and nothing more.
Watching his nemesis come to Tobio’s defense and start talking about his accomplishments and listing all that he did for the people around him… what should he feel about that?
But on the other hand, offering to go on an errand just to get away from everyone even if the cold was biting him then seeing his nemesis stand up and accompanying him on his errand with an excuse of “You’ll get lost”... maybe he should’ve gone home instead. That would be better than having to pick apart what he’s feeling as he’s walking beside Tsukishima Kei down the dark road with flickering streetlamps lighting their way.
“Why did you say that?”
Tobio halted in his steps, turning to the blond with a tilt to his head. “Huh?”
“That” — Tsukishima tried to gesture with a wave of his hand — “thing you said about me. At dinner. You said I was a core part of the team—the brain. Then, you said all that stuff about me. Why?”
Oh, there was that as well. So Tobio was right. Tsukishima only agreed to go with him on this errand just to ask him about what he said during dinner a while ago. It wasn’t like he said anything wrong. All he did was just prove the rest of the Tsukishimas wrong when they thought their youngest was slacking around during volleyball when it was untrue and that he was one of their most important members. Plus, his mother was curious about her son when it’s not about academics or volleyball and Tobio only told her that everyone liked the blond enough to want to befriend him, despite the horrendous attitude but that might just be from Tobio’s perspective.
Yes, nothing wrong about telling the truth, right? Even if it's about someone who he preferred to not be with at that moment.
The setter crossed his arms, trekking ahead of him. “First off, it’s in the present tense, not past. Don’t do yourself like that, please.” He can only imagine the blond was rolling his eyes. “Second, it’s the truth after all. Anyone who has eyes can see it; not that I don’t expect your four eyes to do the same.” A smirk cocked at the corner of his lips. His eyes flickered momentarily to Tsukishima who was indeed rolling his eyes at the jab. “Now, third, why did you stick up for me from my mom?”
“Mhm,” the taller boy hummed as his long legs unfortunately caught up with Tobio. “Can you elaborate on how I became a knight in shining armor to his majesty? It seems that I have forgotten.”
The dark-haired boy closed his eyes and took a deep breath to stop himself from doing something illegal. “You told me that I’m somewhat of an inspiration. I think? My confidence and drive somehow motivate others to do their best. I don’t even know how you came to that insight.”
“And why is that?”
“Don’t you hate me?
Tsukishima shook his head as he snorted, rubbing the snow off of his jacket. “Is that what you think of me, King? Do you think I’d just hate on someone just because they’re the second top student of my year level and is out to get my spot as the top one?”
“I —”
“And is simultaneously my future volleyball vice-captain?”
Tobio shot him a glare, telling him to cut it off as a cheeky smile grew on Tsukishima’s face. “If that’s what you’re asking then, yeah, you probably hate me ‘cause I am an obnoxious person.”
They both walked inside the convenience store, looking from shelf to shelf for something that’ll please them.
Squinting his eyes as if in thought, Tsukishima clicked his tongue. “Define obnoxious, will you, please?”
Oh, he’s definitely doing this on purpose. Tobio silently seethed as he reached over for a pack of junk food. The blond chuckled beside him as he took the packet Tobio picked and placed it in the basket.
“Like you said,” said Tobio, not bothering to look at him. “I’m a King, aren’t I? That’s what you called me the first time you met me and it was clear that you didn’t like me that much. That’s evidence enough for me.”
The blond hummed as if reminiscing. “And that was like — what? Two years ago? Do you think I'm so immature that I’d keep my opinion on a person static?”
“If the person’s me, then yes.”
Tobio walked over to the next shelf, willing the other boy to just drop the conversation.
Unfortunately, Tsukishima Kei was the personification of Tobio’s punishment on Earth so he caught up to him and asked, “Why are you so eager to convince me and yourself that I hate you?”
“Because it’s much easier that way,” Tobio answered firmly.
Silence.
“Easier how?” Tsukishima pressed further.
‘Yeah, how was it any easier though?’
“I don’t know!” Tobio looked at him in indignance. “It just… makes this and us easier. So” — he held both of his hands up — “let’s just agree that we hate each other, okay?”
“Ah, I see. So you want us to play enemies so that you’ll be absolved of guilt on the chance you knock me off the spot of the first top student, is that it?”
Tobio froze. “No, that’s not it!”
He didn’t understand why his chest felt heavy as he said that but he brushed it off as the fact that he was here in the convenience store with Tsukishima of all people. Why? Well, because he hated him. Yes, that’s it.
“Kageyama.” The hairs on Tobio’s neck and arms raised at the sound of his name being called. “Do you really hate me?”
The softness of the voice made the dark-haired boy wonder who this person was standing just a few feet away. He silently willed himself to not look at the blond in the eye.
He cleared his throat before he spoke, “I thought we just agreed it’s better if we hate each other.” Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look. “Come on, I think that’s everything they wanted.”
As they waited for the cashier to finish his job, Tobio tried to ignore the burning gaze at the back of his head. It made his chest heavy all the same as he thought back to the question. This was why he was so adamant about not going with Tsukishima. Tobio could never tell how he’ll act around the other nor can he predict what the other will act around him.
So far, Tobio thought he was doing a good job ignoring his rival as they walked side by side under the falling snow, dim lights guiding their way, and tension thick between them. He could silently feel himself fall apart at the awkwardness of it all.
“If you hate me just like what you said earlier,” said Tsukishima, “tell me why.”
“I don’t see why I have to tell you.”
“Tell me.”
“You know, normally people don’t go around asking others what they hate about them.”
“I said” — Tsukishima stepped in front of Tobio, blocking his path — “tell me.”
Tobio held his breath. “Why?”
“So that I can play along with this charade.”
A bated breath escaped the setter, unsure where to start.
“You…” muttered Tobio, unable to look the other in the eye. “You make it look easy. And I hate it.”
“What?”
“You always keep a cool head, no matter what. You breeze through everything—exams, tournaments, contests, whatever—like it’s just nothing to you. But I know it is something to you, and yet, not everyone knows that. So seeing them think you’re a complete natural genius. It's just… It just makes me angry when I know I shouldn’t.”
“Why would it make you angry, King?”
Tobio clenched his fists as he whispered, “Because it makes me look so pathetic in comparison.”
“Because everything’s easy for me?”
His jaw tensed. “Yes.”
For a few moments, Tobio was left to wallow in the feelings he’d tried so hard to bury. What he was feeling was ridiculous, he knew that. But he couldn’t help this sick jealousy in the memory of all those other people looking at this top student and thinking that everything’s just naturally easy and that he shouldn’t have to work that hard.
The middle blocker tsked. “You know, not everything comes easy to me too.”
“Yeah.” Tobio bitterly laughed. “I know it doesn’t; I know you. But the problem is, everyone else thinks it does so when they look at me—me, who’s demanding and overbearing—all they see is that I’m giving my utmost best. They see that I’m working hard to please everyone. They see that I’m doing everything I can because they know I have to do whatever it takes just to beat you by graduation!”
There was a stillness that followed the ringing silence. Cars still drove past them, faulty lights flickered on and off, and the plastic bag in Tsukishima’s hand created a crinkling sound as he clenched his fist.
Tobio let out a huff as his heart pounded in his chest. “Whatever,” he mumbled, turning away. He shouldn’t have said that. Especially not to him in the first place.
The silence had shifted into a drum pulsating in his ears. His jaw tensed even more. Tobio felt ridiculous and guilty letting it out like that and laying it on someone just like that, not to mention to Tsukishima of all people, regardless of their rivalry.
“I’m sorry,” he said, voice now just above a whisper, head bowed. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
As Tsukishima could only stare at him with his jaw slightly hung open and didn’t say a single word, Tobio felt the urge to just run back home but stopped as the blond said, “This is... new. I — I don’t think I’ve seen this side of you.”
Tobio blinked once. “What?”
“You always liked to bottle everything up.”
“Yeah and what about it?”
“I’m just saying.” The middle blocker shrugged. “At least, you’re letting it out of your system for once.”
“And I shouldn't, so I'm sorry.” Tobio sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I’m going home.”
The setter turned on his heel and walked away; his hands in pockets, ready to leave and hide himself for the rest of his lifetime as punishment for what he did—or at least until this holiday break ends, unfortunately.
“I…” He froze in his tracks at Tsukishima's voice but didn’t turn back. “I find it nice. That you’re opening up. Especially to me.”
Tobio wanted to run away again.
“No, wait.” Tsukishima’s hand reached out to Tobio’s and he felt like he was burned. The blond immediately pulled away, clearing his throat. “Listen to me first.”
But as much as Tobio wanted to leave, he also wanted to stay. So he did.
“You—You asked me, a little while earlier, why did I say all those things back then during dinner. I know you’re probably doubting yourself. You’re probably wondering if I was just exaggerating for your sake in front of your mother.” Tobio frowned, he’s unsure if he likes where this was going. “But everything about it was true. Every word of it.” Tobio stayed silent. Tsukishima continued, “If anything, I’m the one threatened here.” Tobio’s mouth fell agape. How was he a threat to Tsukishima? “You already know how it’s not exactly easy for me too. I don’t even know how you knew but —”
“I saw right through you,” said Tobio.
“Yeah,” Tsukishima chuckled, brushing his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, you did. But if you think I’m breezing through everything, then I think I’m not committed enough. And if you think you’re trying too hard, then I think you’re just passionate.”
Tobio’s unsure what to think of that.
“You know where you’re going but I’m not even sure what I want to do after graduation yet. So, I just pour everything out here to at least do my best and hope that the answer will come to me. But you… ever so stubborn you… You knew what you wanted all along and it comes in so many things. How could I ever think a commoner like me was at your level?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“All those things I did… just so I could be an equal to you.”
Equal to — “What?”
Tsukishima didn’t answer, but his fingers floated to Tobio who froze as they lightly brushed against his bangs. “You said that your only goal for graduation is to beat me, right?”
Tobio didn’t answer, unsure what to say now as his heart raced and warmth spread over him despite the unrelenting cold. Why was Tsukishima looking at him like that? Why was it making Tobio feel strange? What was this feeling inside him now? He couldn’t find the words to describe it. He didn’t know and it scared him.
“Well then…” A small yet gentle and rare smile painted Tsukishima’s face as his knuckles turned to graze Tobio’s cheek now blooming with heat. “I look forward to it, my king.”