Archive of Our Own ^beta

/one 

When Jay first approaches Jungwon with that sheepish, boyish smile of his, hand at his neck and his steps lacking his usual confidence, Jungwon has a sneaking suspicion he won’t be excited for whatever the other will ask of him.

Determined to ignore whatever Jay will undoubtedly request from him for as long as he can, Jungwon’s quick to yank open his locker and bury his face into it, taking an avid interest in the dust gathering in the upper left corner. Sunoo, chattering away at his side, releases a sound of confusion at his sudden change in behavior before it melts into understanding. 

“Ah, hyung.” Sunoo acknowledging the other means that Jungwon can’t keep up his charade any longer. With a sigh, he’s peeking over his locker door, already knowing what to expect. 

There, on the other side, leaning on the lockers as if he’s the male lead in some cheesy, cliche high school drama, Jay grins at him. Jungwon can feel his eye twitch.

“Jungwon-ah!” Jay chirps, uncharacteristically cheery. Jungwon doesn’t miss the way his grin trembles. “Today, too, you look beautiful-”

Jungwon snaps his locker shut with more force than necessary and Jay startles, taking a step back when Jungwon is turning to him, arms crossed over his chest. “Cut to the chase, Jay-hyung. What do you want?” 

The other’s lips tilt into a dejected line and Jungwon almost feels bad. Almost, because what Jay has to say will surely wash the pity away, especially as the other begins speaking.

“Well, you see…” Jay coughs into a fist before he’s sticking it back into a pocket. “Jungwonie, you love me, right?”

Next to them, Sunoo’s brows nearly disappear into his bangs. Jungwon could not be less fazed. “No.”

Jay mimes being hurt, fisting at his heart. “I know I was exaggerating, but that’s just cruel-”

“I’m leaving,” Jungwon says. He hasn’t taken a step before Jay is snagging his wrist, keeping it in place. 

“Alright, alright,” Jay grouses. “I’ll stop playing around.” Jungwon glances pointedly at his captured wrist and Jay lets go, stepping back. “You see, the thing is… You know how I’ve been really busy with practice, right?” At Jungwon’s slow, suspicious nod, he’s hurrying on. “Turns out, I’ve been so busy that my grades have dropped in History, and if I don’t get a perfect score on this next test, well…”  

“He’s fucked,” a voice pipes up, the owner of which peeks out from behind Jay. Rumpled honey-brown hair and an easy smile greets them.

“Jake-hyung, you’re here too?” Sunoo exclaims, bypassing Jake’s offered fist-bump, who lowers his hand in dejection. Sim Jake, or else known as Jay’s teammate and best friend. Best friend said lightly because Jay claimed the other would leave him behind in a heartbeat. 

And he’d have good reason to, Jungwon had said, prompting Jay to mope until Jungwon sighed and retracted his statement. 

“Actually,” Jay begins, ready to argue before he heaves a sigh. “He’s right. I’m fucked.” 

It isn’t difficult to guess what Jay is trying to get at, but Jungwon still plays dumb. “And this had to do with me… how?” he asks and now Jay’s pouting, just as he always does whenever Jungwon has teased him too much.

“C’mon, Wonie.” He’s latching onto his arm, squeezing. “You know how important this is. If I don’t-”

There’s a twitch to his lips that Jungwon fails to hide. Jay brightens, hopeful. “Is that a yes?” 

Jungwon relents. “Only because I have nothing else to do today,” he says, cutting off Jay, who’s already singing his praises and gratitude, “and because Sunoo-hyung and I were already heading to the library anyway.”

Jake, who had been busy twittering away to Sunoo, perks up. “Did you say library? I’ll come along too, I have nothing to do either.” 

Sunoo lets out a little noise, a click of his tongue that borders amusement. “We don’t know if Heeseung-hyung is going to be there, you know.”

Just the mention of the older has Jake’s cheeks splotching in patches of pink, his Adam’s apple bobbing in a swallow. “Heeseung-hyung?” He parrots, the epitome of clueless. “Who said anything about him? I’m not going for him-”

“Says the one who wouldn’t shut up about how you got him to promise to come to our next game,” Jay snorts. Jake turns even pinker.

“It’s an accomplishment, alright?” Jake argues as they make their way through the hallways, Jay chuckling at him all the way, arms tucked behind his head. “Someone like you wouldn’t understand how it is-”

“What do you mean, ‘wouldn’t understand how it is,’ huh?”

“Because unlike you, I am a bachelor. ” 

That certainly piques Jungwon’s interest, slowing down so he can listen. Last he had checked, Jay had been very much single—just like him. He’s not the only one confused by Jake’s claim—Jay is too, his forehead creased in confusion.

The librarian is hushing them as they cross the threshold into the library, effectively closing the conversation. Jake’s giddy whisper of “yes!” confirms what Jungwon had been expecting before he sees him himself: Heeseung, holed up at the desk set at the far end of the library, surrounded by heaps of thick, grossly-dull textbooks. 

The older looks up as the gaggle of teens approaches, a smile blooming on his lips. “So pretty,” Jungwon hears Jake mutters, sounding as if his lungs are ready to give out then and there. He keeps his lips clamped shut to hide his disgust. 

“Hyung,” Jungwon greets, taking the seat closest to him, before noticing who’s at Heeseung’s left with surprise. “Sunghoon-hyung!” 

At his name being called, the dark-haired boy is glancing up from where he had been boring holes into his textbook (Applied Physics, it reads), seemingly just noticing their arrivals. “Oh, hey,” he replies before his eyes shift to Jay. “Here to salvage what’s left of your grades?”

“Be quiet, Hoon,” Jay groans. He’s kicking out the chair next to Jungwon, sitting wide enough so that his thigh presses against Jungwon’s. “Talk to me when you score a tutor like Jungwonie.”

“Actually,” Sunghoon says, setting down his book fully, “Heeseung-hyung here is helping me out, and I’d say he’s just as good as Jungwon, if not more.”

Jay’s eyes narrow. Planting his palms onto the table, he leans forward, ready to defend Jungwon’s dignity. His chance to speak is ultimately stolen, because Jake jerks to attention from where he had been eying the empty seat between Heeseung and Jungwon, piping up. “Really? Could you help me too?” 

That’s Jungwon’s cue to snap his fingers, calling Jay’s attention back to him. When Jay doesn’t look back, thoroughly invested in what lies Jake, top in all his classes, fumbles to spin up to earn his seat next to Heeseung, he’s jamming the other in the chest with an elbow. 

“That perfect score doesn’t look like it’s coming anytime soon,” he says, and finally, Jay tears his eyes away to offer Jungwon an apologetic smile. “Come on, take out your books.”

That smile turns sheepish. The groan that escapes from Jungwon has been a long time coming.

He’s forced to retrieve his own heavy World History book and place it flat between them, grumbling all the while. “And now we’re both going to have to be uncomfortable thanks to you.”

“It’s not that bad,” Jay says. He reaches out, grabbing onto the arms of Jungwon’s chair to drag him closer until their knees are knocking against each other under the table. “Our necks are just going to hurt a lot.” 

Hunching over the same book as Jay means that they both have to be careful to not move around too much, or else their heads will bump, and they’ll be left nursing a nasty bruise. It also means their shoulders knock against each other constantly and every time Jungwon points to something on paper, their hands brush. 

Jungwon doesn’t really mind it; years of dealing with the older’s lack of boundaries when it comes to physical contact means this is nothing but another day. And with how Jay doesn’t bother moving away, he’s sure the other doesn’t mind either. 

What he does mind, however, is Jay’s lack of concentration. It must be the nth time, as he goes into the nitty-gritty details of Confucianism and its impact, that Jungwon realizes Jay hasn’t said a word for a suspicious number of minutes. 

When he looks up to check, it’s to find the other staring into his face, expression faraway. Not again.

“God, hyung,” Jungwon snaps, because he’s lost track of how many times he’s glanced up to find Jay looking at him, “are you here to study History or my face?”

Jay only shrugs, entirely unfazed. “You tell me: which is more interesting?”

That has heat pricking his face but it’s overshadowed by annoyance. “What’s interesting are those red marks that are going to be on your test papers after you fail miserably,” he says, glowering.

Jay groans, slumping down onto the desk fully. His head turns to the side so he can look back up at Jungwon. “It’s not my fault that I’d rather look at your pretty eyes.”

“God,” Sunoo groans, stopping whatever clever remark was ready to escape from Jungwon’s mouth. The other boy is scowling at them as if he’s personally offended them. “Can you keep the flirting down? Some of us are trying to study.”

“Yeah!” Jake agrees from where he’s successfully managed to squirm in next to Heeseung and has been nodding along dreamily as the older goes into intricate details regarding the laws of thermodynamics, “we’re studying!” 

Sunoo’s withering glare has him blinking in confusion, no doubt wondering what he had done to earn him such ire. Jungwon shakes his head, diverting his attention back to Jay next to him, in the process of turning into a groaning puddle. He kicks him lightly. “Come on, get up.”

Jay just groans again. This time, it’s less one from refusal to study and more from tiredness, and Jungwon’s annoyance bleeds into concern. Leaning forward, he carefully brushes Jay’s bangs off of his forehead, the older leaning into his touch to nuzzle his palm. “Are you sure you aren’t sick or something?”

The other’s smirk has him ready to retract his words. “Worried about me?”

“Not anymore.” Jay grabs his wrist before he can pull his hand back, keeping it in place. 

“I’m kidding,” he says before he’s closing his eyes, releasing a shuddering breath. “I think I might have overdone it during practice.” 

That Jungwon can see. Adjusting his hand so he’s cupping Jay’s cheek fully now, he wonders how he’d missed the dullness to Jay’s usually golden tone. “Maybe you should call it quits for today.”

“Can’t do that. I only have today and the weekend to study, and today is the only day I can get with you.”

“I can come over during the weekend.” 

Jay’s lashes flutter open to peer at Jungwon. “Aw, so eager to see my face not only at school but out of it too?” 

He’s rewarded by yet another kick, this one at his shin. “You act as if you don’t barge into my house every other day anyway.”

“Can’t say you’re wrong.” Jay finally lifts off of the desk, allowing Jungwon to retract his hand. It’s numb from where it had been sandwiched between wood and the other’s cheek. “But it’s fine.” He stretches his arms behind his head, stifling a yawn. “Give me a minute, I’ll just go and wash my face—I’ll be back.”

With that, he’s pushing his chair back, rising to his feet. Jungwon watches as he does, not quite reassured. “Just don’t go pushing yourself and ending up sick,” he says as Jay makes his way to the door, prompting him to glance over his shoulder. 

“If I do, I’ll be counting on you to take care of me,” he calls back before disappearing out the door. Jungwon shakes his head, letting out a huff. 

“Jay’s lucky,” Heeseung says, from where he’s watched the exchange between the two of them, “to have someone like you.”

While it’s an odd thing to say, it’s not as if he’s wrong. Jungwon shrugs while Jake’s clamoring in with his eager agreement, no doubt bent on getting on Heeseung’s good side.

“He doesn’t even deserve Jungwonie,” he says, shaking his head. “A boyfriend who’s cute, caring, and smart? He scored out of his league.” 

A murmur of agreement ripples through them, Jungwon nodding along before he’s catching up with the rest of Jake’s sentence, latching onto one particular word. “Wait—boyfriend?”

The confusion in his voice has all of them looking at him. Sunoo raises a brow. “Jay-hyung?”

Wait. They thought-

“Jay-hyung?” He splutters, bewildered. “We’re not dating.”

“You’re… not?” It’s Sunghoon who asks, speaking for the first time since the start. The astonished look on his face that is reflected onto the rest of them has Jungwon gaping.

“...No?”

“But…” Sunoo exchanges a look with Jake. “You guys are always together.”

“Yeah. Because we’re friends.”

“No, no,” Jake shakes his head. “Not together in a friendly way. Together in a…” He gestures vaguely. “Always talking. Always laughing. Always all over each other. Wherever you are, he is.” 

Jungwon’s face is uncomfortably warm and there’s nothing he can do to cool it down. “We are not always all over each other,” he says, frowning deeply, “And we’re not dating.” For good measure, he tacks on a “have never been dating.”

None of them look convinced, glancing at each other as if they know something Jungwon doesn’t. Heeseung is the first to speak, sweet and patient like always. “Are you sure? Because you two don’t have to hide anything from us…” 

“Not you too, hyung,” Jungwon groans. “Why would we be? Come on, it’s Jay!”

“Shh!” The loud hush has all of them flinching, falling silent. Jungwon wheels around to find the librarian scowling at him and winces apologetically, slumping in his seat. 

“My bad,” he mutters, mind still spinning from the fact that all their friends had been—are?—convinced that he and Jay are dating. As if by clockwork, there’s the chilly touch of fingertips at his neck and he’s jumping before realizing who it is—Jay, significantly refreshed. His wet bangs stick to his forehead, color back in his cheeks. Speak of the devil. 

“Getting in trouble without me?” He asks, reclaiming his seat. Jungwon smacks his hand off of his neck. “I can’t leave you anywhere.”

“I can’t leave you anywhere,” Jungwon corrects. He’s uncomfortably aware of how the rest of them are watching the both of them. “Sit down, will you?” Jay does, and his thigh pressed to Jungwon’s is suddenly not as familiar as it had been just minutes before. “Not so close.”

Jay’s expression of confusion has him wincing in regret, ready to mutter out a “never mind.” The words never make it out of his mouth.

“Hey!” The new voice joining the fray successfully distracts them all; Riki, the headband pushing back his hair no doubt an indicator that he’d just finished up with his dance club. There’s hurt written all over his expression as he scans them all. “You guys didn’t tell me we were supposed to meet at the library!” 

None of them get the chance to explain to Riki that all of this had been unplanned and no, they had not purposely left him out, because at once, the librarian is towering to her full height, nearly frothing at the mouth as she jabs a wrathful finger at them.

“That’s it!” she barks, furious. “Out, all of you! Out!”

A minute later, they’re all standing outside the library, clutching onto their books and bags. Jake apologizes profusely to Heeseung, who tries to reassure him, unsuccessfully, that it hadn’t been his fault. In contrast, the true culprit could care less. Riki’s busy crowding into Sunoo’s personal space and generally being annoying, while Sunghoon offers for them to study over at his place.

Jungwon’s load mysteriously lightens, his helper turning out to be Jay. He tucks the books under his arms before nodding at Jungwon. “Well,” he says, “that could have gone better.”

“I had a feeling we’d get kicked out one way or another,” Jungwon says dryly, and that pulls a laugh out of Jay although it’s not particularly funny. What had Jake said?

You guys are always together. 

Always talking, always laughing.

Jay is glancing back at him questioningly. Jungwon banishes the thought, forcing his feet to move. 

Jake doesn’t know what he’s talking about. 

/two

By the time the fourth period rolls around, Jungwon is exhausted.

It seems that from early morning, all he’s been doing has been running. From home to school. From one room to the next. From one end of a hall to the other. On top of studying for semester finals even while walking, head constantly buried in his books, he’s full and well ready to drop to the floor. 

Lunch is a welcome arrival for them all. Riki, who has even more on his shoulders, what with being part of not only the dance club but also the art and photography club, has to be dragged by both Sunoo and Jungwon to the cafeteria. It’s surely a laughable sight: Riki, with his long torso and even longer legs, slumped over the shoulders of Sunoo and Jungwon, comparably shorter. 

“Just leave me,” Riki groans. “I can’t go on anymore. This is my limit.”

Even as he grits his teeth with every step, Sunoo still rolls his eyes. “That’s what you get for signing up for all three of those clubs, even after I told you not to.” Riki lets out a warble in reply and Sunoo’s frown softens. “Idiot,” he mutters, but his expression is twisted in worry. 

Somehow, they manage to pull into the cafeteria. Jungwon’s instinctively searching for one particular boy as they make their way through the cluttered tables and chairs, who he’s always sure to find wherever all the hustle and bustle is taking place. 

Today, there’s no blue varsity jacket to be seen, no boyish grin directed at him. Who is there is Sunghoon, ripping the paper off disposable chopsticks. Pushing away his disappointment, Jungwon’s approaching, Sunoo and Riki in tow. “Only you today?”

Sunghoon snaps apart the chopsticks, looking away from his steamed rice to peer up at Jungwon. “You sound disappointed.”

“It’s the opposite, actually.” Jungwon deposits Riki with little care, the younger yelping before he’s perking up at the sight of Sunghoon’s milk carton, reaching out to snag it. Sunghoon does nothing to stop him. Finally free of the weight of Riki’s arms, Sunoo’s sprinting off, surely to pile his tray. “It’s too loud when everyone’s here—I can hardly hear myself.”

The other only eyes him, saying nothing. He’d always been the type to keep whatever he was thinking inside his head and not let it slip. Unfortunately, his silence doesn’t give Jungwon any answers to where the others are, and in particular, where Jay is.

Jungwon retrieves his own, home-packed lunch, prying off the lid. He glances back at Sunghoon expectantly, waiting for him to speak. He does nothing of the sort, only continuing to chew on his food.

This isn’t working. 

Before he can haggle Sunghoon, Sunoo’s returning. He’s flushed from excitement as he lays down his tray, proudly showing off the assortment of foods stacked on it, along with three cartons of milk. “I brought extra,” he says brightly, sliding one to Jungwon and another to Sunghoon, “since I knew Jungwonie would want one and…” He shoots Riki a wry look, who’s long finished Sunghoon’s milk and is now busy testing out spit wads with the straw. “I don’t think you’ll be getting yours back.”

He takes a seat before seemingly remembering something and nodding to Sunghoon. “Oh, right! Why are you only here? Where’s everyone else?”

Jungwon sags from relief. He could always count on Sunoo. 

Contrary to how he’d deliberately ignored Jungwon’s pointed looks, Sunghoon’s answering immediately. “Their coach made them stay back. For extra practice, I’m sure.” Jungwon frowns at that. 

“Extra practice again? They’ve been doing extra daily. Isn’t he being too hard on them?” he mutters, poking at his rice. Jungwon’s not stupid—he’s seen how all the extra practice has taken a toll on Jay, even if the other waved off Jungwon’s concern with a ruffle of his hair and you know I can handle more than this.  

That hadn’t stopped him from falling asleep at his desk, needing to borrow notes from Heeseung as a result. Something that Jay absolutely hated doing, preferring to take his own.

“If Jay-hyung heard you being worried about him, he’d be shitting his pants from excitement,” Riki says, followed by a soft “ow” as Sunoo smacks his head. Jungwon doesn’t bother sparing Riki a look. 

“I don’t remember when we decided ‘shitting in pants’ is an acceptable topic at lunch.” The disgruntled voice belongs to Heeseung, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. He takes a seat next to Sunghoon, confusion and disapproval etched in his expression. 

“Ask Riki,” Jungwon mutters, pinning down the other with a look. The younger only shrugs before stealing Sunoo’s milk carton out of his hand to chug it down, much to the other’s chagrin. 

“They look preoccupied,” Heeseung says, nodding at where Sunoo is now trying to snatch his milk out of Riki’s hand, who only raises his arm higher and jeers at the other. “I notice the others aren’t here.”

“What you mean is Jake isn’t here.”

Heeseung pointedly ignores Sunghoon’s mutter, continuing on. “Jay wanted some notes from me, so I’ve been meaning to give them to him now since I won’t be able to see him for the rest of the day, but…” His gaze drifts to Jungwon before he’s straightening. “Wait, that’s right—you and Jay see each other after school, right?”

Jungwon blinks. “I mean, sometimes-”

“Give these to him, then.” A bundle of notebooks is thrust into his face, Jungwon accepting them out more out of reflex than anything. They’re thick and well-used, Heeseung’s name written out in neat handwriting on the front of each.

Jake would kill for these, he thinks, amused, before looking back up. “He’s been busy with basketball,” Jungwon says, “I don’t know if I’ll see-”

“There they are!” Sunoo’s shout takes Riki by surprise, allowing him to successfully snatch back his milk. Jungwon nearly gets whiplash from how quickly his head snaps back, and it should be embarrassing, really, the smile that’s already crawling to his face at the sight of Jay and Jake, dragging their feet from tiredness but still grinning despite it all. 

“Sunghoonie,” Jake’s moaning, “it hurts so much, I swear they’re trying to kill us-” His eyes fall to Heeseung, and it’s truly fascinating, the range of emotions his face goes through in the span of a few seconds. “O-oh.” A scuffle of feet. “Hey, Heeseung-hyung.” 

Heeseung’s expression might not twitch in the slightest but Jungwon can see how he’s gone rigid, fingers fists around his chopsticks. If he holds any tighter, he may as well break them. “Hey, Jake-yah.” 

“That seat next to you taken?”

“Not at all.”

And just like that, Jake’s sliding next to Heeseung. They’re avoiding each other’s eyes. It’s rather sickening to watch, Jungwon muses before he’s spotting familiar blue out of the corner of his eye.

“Jay-” The other slumps down next to him and Jungwon does a double-take at his face. “Wow, I didn’t know your face could get like this.” 

Jay speaks, or tries to speak. It’s more of a garble of sounds before he’s gesturing to Jungwon. Only one eligible word makes it out of his mouth. “Lap.”

In hindsight, should Jungwon have thought the demand through? Probably. But at the moment, with his only worry about Jay’s lackluster state, he’s shuffling back to make space, patting his lap in invitation. Jay doesn’t waste any time; immediately, he’s flopping down onto what little space there is left on the cafeteria benches, pillowing his head onto Jungwon’s thighs. 

It’s an awkward angle so Jungwon carefully adjusts him, saving him from a future ache in the neck. Jay allows him to move without any complaint, only letting out a soft sigh. Already, his lashes rest against his cheek, breathing slowing. He must be exhausted.

Gently, he pushes aside the messy bangs blocking his view, clearing Jay’s face. His lips tilt into a frown as he takes in the light shadowing under the older’s eyes, the pallid touch to his skin. He hates it, seeing Jay so tired that he has to resort to napping in the cafeteria at lunch. Hopefully, when the rush of the end of the semester and the upcoming school events are over, he’ll be able to get some rest.

In the time he’s been fussing over Jay, the table has gone suspiciously quiet, Jungwon realizes. Confused, he raises his head.

All five of his friends stare at him, unnervingly silent where they are usually so loud. A chill runs down Jungwon’s spine. 

“What?” He says, breaking the silence. “What is it?” 

Wordlessly, Jake gestures to—oh. Right. Maybe he should have remembered that it’s not a regular occurrence for Jay to take a nap at lunchtime. Especially on Wednesdays, when corn was being served.

“He’s sleeping.”

“Yeah,” Sunoo says. “In your lap. ”

Jungwon frowns. That’s quite obvious. “I know…” 

“Jay-hyung. Is sleeping. In your. Lap.” Sunoo enunciates every word carefully, as if saying them any slower will help Jungwon understand why all of them are looking at him like he’s grown two heads. 

It doesn’t, at all. “Obviously,” he huffs. “We do this all time, what’s so-” 

Jake’s jerking up at that. “You do this all the time? This is a normal thing?” 

“Yes-”

“Gay,” someone sniggers, and to no one’s surprise, it’s Riki. He’s rewarded with yet another smack from Sunoo. “What? Am I wrong! Look at them!” He’s gesturing with an accusing hand. “Is this even allowed?” His voice rises abruptly at that and Jay stirs, burrowing himself closer.

Jungwon scowls at Riki. “Hush! You’re going to wake him up.” 

A sound of disbelief. “Oh my God.”

“Jungwonie,” Heeseung eyes him, then Jay, sound asleep in his lap. “You’re sure there’s nothing you want to tell us, right?”

Now, it’s just getting frustrating. All of them are walking on eggshells, implying something without saying it. “I don’t, and what is it? What am I missing?” He demands, fixing them each with a look. Sunoo takes one for the team. 

“So…” He pauses. “He’s not your boyfriend?” 

What the fuck.

“This again?” Already, Jungwon can feel an ache approaching his temple. It’ll be a miracle if he gets through today without a headache. “I told you all. We aren’t dating. We’d never date. No one thinks that we are except for you guys.”

Sunghoon hums. “...And the whole cafeteria, but that too.” 

“What?” As if on cue, he’s tensing at the sound of murmurs, head whipping to his left. A gaggle of girls immediately looks away. Looks to his right, and a table abruptly quiets. “Shit.”

“‘Shit,’” Jake agrees.

“But they’re wrong,” Jungwon says, voice feeble. “It's not true.”

Sunoo shrugs. “Well… we believe you-”

“I don’t,” comes a mumble. Jungwon’s certain it belongs to Riki.

“-but everyone else might be harder to convince.” 

“Well,” Jungwon says, and if he raises his voice louder for others to overhear, he’s certainly unaware about it. “Jay-hyung and I aren't dating. At all.”

There’s a beat—the cafeteria digesting his words, and then the usual chattering breaks out once more. Jungwon releases a breath. His friends look at him with pity but they finally move on, not sparing Jay or Jungwon another glance.

Thank God.

Instead of joining in on the other’s chat, he distracts himself by scratching his fingers against Jay’s scalp. It must soothe him because the other lets out a drowsy mumble of “Jungwon.”

It must be the reminder of the baffling conversation that has butterflies fluttering in his belly at the ghost of Jay’s breath against his wrist as the other sighs in his sleep, long gone into the realm of dreams.

It’s definitely because of that when the bell rings and Jungwon wakes the other up with mutters of his name and Jay’s lashes flutter open, sleep-dazed eyes finding Jungwon’s from where he hovers over him, a dopey smile making its way onto his face and he mutters, just loud enough for Jungwon to hear a soft “I always sleep better with you,” those same butterflies erupt. 

That’s all it is—a reaction because of his friends’ ridiculous accusations. 

/three

Vote Chaewon for prom queen! reads the posters that are plastered along the walls, all emblazoned with the face of a pretty girl, cheeks red with rouge and lips painted a soft pink, winking flirtatiously. Jungwon eyes them impassively as he and Sunoo pass them. “I thought people quit doing these things?”

Sunoo glances at the posters, lip curling. “I did too, but apparently not. Do we still really care about who wins king and queen?”

“We already know Sunghoon-hyung’s going to be king again, after all,” Jungwon grunts as they reach his locker, slinging off his backpack from his aching shoulders, “and he never takes anyone with him to any school events.” 

“Just like every year,” Sunoo says. He glances at Jungwon’s locker and does a double-take. “What is that?”

He’s referring to Jungwon’s locker, where a small colony of bright sticky notes has found their home, littering every inch of the surface. Each has a note scribbled out, cheesy compliments ranging from a simple “your cute” to an entirely cheesy “if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.”

“It’s ‘you’re,’” Jungwon says, frowning. “How does someone mess that up?”

Sunoo stares at him, incredulous. “You’re worried about grammar now? And not—I don’t know, who might be behind this?”

“Oh, please.” He doesn’t bother looking over the rest of the notes, pulling open his locker to deposit his textbooks. “I don’t need to guess. I already know.”

“You do?”

Sunoo has always been a fast one, so why is he being slow today? “Yeah,” Jungwon says, because isn’t it obvious? Who else would pull something like this? “It’s Jay-hyung.”

There’s a stretch of silence. Jungwon glances back at Sunoo to find the other frowning at him. “What is it?”

“Oh, nothing,” Sunoo says, but his frown is only deepening by the second. “Just that apparently it’s completely normal for Jay-hyung—who you’re not dating, of course—to leave you cute love notes all over your locker.”

“They’re not ‘cute love notes,’ he’s just playing around.” Shutting his locker, he turns to Sunoo, who still looks unconvinced. “Come on, you’ve seen him do things like this all the time.”

Sunoo opens his mouth to reply, probably some wholly untrue claim that there’s no way there isn’t something between them, but it seems that today, Jungwon has a rare stroke of luck because someone is calling his name, loud enough it rings throughout the hall. “Jungwon-ah!” 

Neither of them has to check who it is barrelling down the hall towards them; Jungwon does just in time for a pair of arms to wrap around his torso, pulling him to a solid chest. When he looks up, Jay is grinning down at him. “Did you like my present?”

“You mean all the paper I’m going to have to put in the recycling bin? Next time, think of something easier to clean up.” Jay pouts at his words, but it’s clear he’s not hurt, in how his arms don’t loosen around Jungwon. 

“I spent an hour writing those notes, you could be a little nicer,” he laments, giving Jungwon one last squeeze before letting go. Sunoo clears his throat; he’s wearing an expression of disgruntlement, fixing Jungwon with a pointed look. For no reason, Jungwon steps back from Jay to create a little distance.

“You spelled ‘you’re’ wrong,” Sunoo offers in greeting, and Jay wheels around to check himself before groaning out a curse. Jungwon pats his shoulder.

“It was a good try.” He peers over Jay’s shoulder, searching for the mop of honey-brown hair that was always trailing behind Jay one way or another. “Jake-hyung isn’t with you?”

“Jake,” Jay begins, and there’s an amused lilt to his tone, “is currently going through a crisis.”

Ah. “Heeseung-hyung?”

“Heeseung-hyung,” Jay confirms.

“He’s making a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be,” Sunoo says. “He needs to just—go for it. And if he gets rejected, well, at least he tried?”

Jungwon snorts. “Easy for you to say. Since you’re the one who’s been rejecting people left and right. What’s the tally right now? Seven?”

“Eight, actually.” Sunoo shrugs, a delicate, uncaring motion. “Not my fault I’m popular.”

“Not to mention you’ve already got a date,” Jay pipes up. “Riki, right?” At his statement, Sunoo is glancing his way, frowning.  

“No? I’ll be going alone, like last year.”

Jungwon exchanges a baffled look with Jay. Weren’t they-?

Well, not his business, he supposes. Unlike what the others were so fond of doing to him, he knows where his boundaries lie. Although, Jungwon has a sneaking suspicion Sunoo isn’t going to be as alone as he claims to be. He chooses to not let Sunoo and Riki’s strange relationship bug him.

What has been bugging him, however… 

“No one’s asked me out yet,” Jungwon says, before realizing the implications of that statement. “Not that I care, because prom isn’t as much of a deal as everyone makes it out to be, but it’s…” He drifts off as Sunoo eyes him, judgmental. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Sunoo chirps, suspiciously cheery. His gaze darts over Jungwon’s shoulder before it returns to him, so quick Jungwon nearly misses it. “It is weird, especially with how popular you are! I can’t imagine why no one is approaching you.” 

Sunoo’s syrupy-sweet tone has Jungwon wondering if he’s missed out on an important detail or some inside joke of sorts. Whatever it is, he feels unnecessarily stupid as he tries to make sense of why Sunoo is looking at him like he’s the biggest fool in the school.

Which is totally unfair. They all know that title belongs to Riki.

“Am I… missing something?” He asks, hesitant. Sunoo shakes his head, eyes creased up into half-moons. 

“Not at all!” He’s turning to Jay before Jungwon can interrogate him any further. “So, hyung, how many people have asked you out?”

Despite himself, Jungwon is curious. Jay’s always been insanely popular, what with his good looks and being one of the star players on the basketball team. 

A shrug. “A couple.”

“You mean the entire cheerleading team.”

“Not the whole team,” Jay corrects as if that makes it any less impressive. “Three of them asked Jake.”

“Oh, and I bet that went over real well.” 

“He went off on a monologue about how he’s found his soulmate and his heart is already taken—pretty sure it only made all of them swoon over him even more.”

Classic Jake. Hopeless romantic, stubbornly believing in pure love. 

The sound of giggles reaches his ears and Jungwon glances towards the direction they’re coming from, spotting a pair of girls. They’re glancing their way, clutching to one another as they whisper to each other fervently. It’s less than a surprise when they finally approach, pushing and nudging each other all the way.

“Sunoo-oppa?” One of the girls, with inky black hair weaved back into a braid, takes the challenge. Sunoo pulls up short, his expression one of surprise. 

It’s an act, Jungwon knows. Sunoo had noticed them long before and had already adjusted his face so the angle of his jaw could be seen with ease. 

“Areum-ah,” Sunoo greets, and the girl pinkens at being recognized. “And… Heejin-ah?” The second girl, with round cheeks and a short bob, nods eagerly. Sunoo offers them a brilliant smile. “Is there something I can do for you guys?”

“Well,” Jungwon mutters to Jay, tuning the girls and Sunoo’s conversation out, “that’s number nine and ten for him.” Jay lets out a whistle. 

“Impressive. At this rate, he’ll beat Sunghoon.”

Jungwon thinks back to the band of girls that follow Sunghoon around the school like a colony of waddling ducklings. “I think that’s just impossible.” 

“I’m honored,” Sunoo is saying, “but unfortunately I’ll be going alone this year. Thank you so much.”

“Oh, that’s alright, oppa.” The girl with braids giggles in response, starry-eyed just from getting the chance to speak with Sunoo. She’s nudging her friend, Heejin. “That’s not all we came for, Heejinnie has something to ask Jungwon-oppa.”

That certainly has Jungwon jerking to attention, gesturing to himself. “Me?”

Heejin nods, her cheeks becoming rosier and rosier by the minute. Behind him, Jay has gone suspiciously quiet, probably to not scare the girl away. “I wanted… I wanted to ask you, oppa,” Heejin begins. “I’ve admired you for a long time, and…” 

She looks up, face alight with a surge of confidence. “I wanted to know if you-” 

The words die away and Jungwon frowns as Heejin freezes, gaze fixed right above Jungwon’s shoulder. He’s just about to open his mouth and ask what’s wrong when a weight deposits itself across his shoulders, heavy and familiar. Jay’s arm, some distant part of Jungwon’s mind recognizes, the tickle of breath against his neck confirming his suspicions. 

Jungwon pulls his attention away from the weight and back to Heejin. “Yes?”

“I…” Heejin’s eyes dart back to Jungwon. There’s a tremble on her lip. “Nothing, oppa. I hope you’re having a good day.”

With that, she’s turning on her heel, racing off. Areum glances between her friend and Jungwon in confusion before she’s muttering a hasty farewell and chasing after. Jungwon watches them go, baffled. 

“What just happened?” He twists his head to glance up at Jay, who is watching the retreating girls coolly. “Did you see that?”

Jay’s eyes flicker down to his, holding his gaze for a moment before looking away. “Strange.” 

If anything, Jay’s response only has him even more stumped. Searching for answers, he looks to Sunoo, stopping short just as he starts. The other stares at them with a peculiar twist to his lips, as if he’s swallowed a particularly sour fruit. 

“Yeah, strange, ” Sunoo echoes. He’s brushing past them without sparing a glance back at them. “I’m going to go find Sunghoon-hyung. I’ll see you at lunch, Jungwonie.” 

He’s sweeping around the corner, out of sight within moments. Jungwon blinks after him, feeling very much as if he’s missed a step while walking down a staircase. “Someone isn’t telling me something.”

From where he’s still slung across Jungwon’s shoulders, Jay playfully knocks his chin against Jungwon’s head. “Don’t think about it too deeply, it’s been a strange day.”

That it’s been for sure. “I need food,” Jungwon mutters.

A chuckle. “You’re just in luck, then.” 

In no time, they’re slipping through the yawning cafeteria doors. With most finished with finals and the entire school buzzing because of the upcoming dance, lunch is in full swing, the clatter of trays and the clamor of students filling the air. 

Jay maneuvers them through tables and chairs, still clinging onto Jungwon. It’s not that Jungwon minds—if anything, the support is appreciated. What he does mind, however, is how nearly half of the room eye them as they make their way through, no doubt plotting the best way to approach Jay and ask him out. 

Heeseung and Jake are already seated at their table, the latter entirely unsubtle in sneaking looks at the other, who is peacefully eating. His mouth opens and closes, seemingly unable to decide if he wants to strike up a conversation or not. Riki is sprawled out across the bench, phone screen inches away from his face. 

“Stressed, Jake?” Jay quips as he finally detaches himself from Jungwon, smirking when Jake fixes him with a deathly glower. “You’re looking a bit sweaty.”

“I feel amazing, Jay,” Jake gets out through gritted teeth before glancing at Heeseung nervously. The older hasn’t bothered to look up and he looks both glad and disappointed about that.

“Move,” Jungwon grouses at Riki, kicking at his annoyingly-long legs that take up the entire bench. He does with a grunt, finally tearing his eyes away from the screen to look past Jungwon in search.

“Where’s hyung?” 

Jungwon fishes his lunch out from his bag, gesturing vaguely to the hall. “Went to look for Sunghoon-hyung.” 

“Oh.” Just like that, he loses interest, back to being glued onto his phone. Jungwon doesn’t understand him. 

Behind them, some of Jay’s teammates are calling for him, running up to bump shoulders and fists together. Jungwon doesn’t bother waiting for Jay to come back as he retrieves his chopsticks; when it comes to the other and his infinite number of friends, it’s better to leave him be. 

In front of him, Jake clenches his jaw, seemingly having made up his mind. “So, hyung,” he begins, and while Jungwon pretends to be busy uncapping containers, he’s listening closely. “What do you think about the dance that’s coming up?”

Jungwon nearly laughs. So this is how Jake is going to go about this?

“It’s fine,” Heeseung says plainly. “Nothing special when you’re an upperclassman like me.” 

Ouch. Jake wilts instantly before he’s forcing himself to brighten. “But it’s fun for… the younger students, isn’t it? Like… Riki!” At the sound of his name, Riki is poking his head up in question. “Do you have a date?”

No, is what Jungwon expects as he idly pours sauce next to his rice. He’s just shoving the first bites of food into his mouth when Riki’s nodding. “Yeah.”

Jungwon’s rice nearly goes down the wrong pipe as his head whips towards Riki. Riki? A date? More importantly, a date who couldn’t be Sunoo, because the other had claimed he would be going alone? “Who?”

Riki gives him a strange look. “Sunoo-hyung, duh.”

“Sunoo-” Jungwon blinks, perplexed. “Have you even asked him?”

“Obviously not.”

“Then-?”

“He will.” There isn’t a trace of worry on his face as he reverts his focus to his phone. “We’re going together.”

“‘Going together,’ are we?” The sound of Sunoo’s voice has Jungwon jumping while Riki only lights up at the sight of Sunoo, arms crossed over his chest and brow quirked. “Who said?”

Riki grins. “Me, now.” 

To Jungwon’s befuddlement, Sunoo only rolls his eyes before he’s sitting. “Alright.”

What the hell. 

From where he’d emerged with Sunoo, Sunghoon’s taking a seat adjacent to Jungwon, eyes flickering over to the crowd. “Jay looks busy.”

“Probably busy dealing with girls,” Jungwon says. Sunghoon hums. 

“He got a date yet?”

“No.” Jungwon glances at him, brows lifted. “What, you want to ask him out?”

“I was thinking more if you did, but that doesn’t sound like a bad idea after all.” The words sink into Jungwon and his forehead wrinkles. 

“Why would I want to ask him out?” Sunghoon only shrugs, offering no further explanation. 

God, this day has been so weird. 

Jake is still trying to nudge Heeseung towards the topic of prom, glancing to Sunghoon for assistance, of which he provides none. Sunoo’s eating peacefully, Riki’s head resting on his thigh as the younger jabs away at his phone with his thumbs. Jungwon glares at them. Oh, so when it was Jay resting in Jungwon’s lap, it was a strange occurrence, but the same rules didn’t apply to anyone else?

His gaze drifts to Jay just in time to witness him politely refuse yet another girl’s invitation. He frowns, strangely irritated by the exchange. “I don’t understand all the fuss,” Jungwon mutters, more to himself than anyone else. “It’s just a school event. What’s so important about a dance?”

Unfortunately for him, Jake overhears, head jerking up. Jungwon prepares himself for the upcoming rant from the other as he stresses exactly why this dance is important and how it is an essential part of their youth. 

Luckily, it never comes, because someone is clearing their throat. All six of them look up. 

At the foot of the table, pink in the cheeks although he remains firm, is a boy with flat hair and a button nose. Jungwon thinks he recognizes him from one of his classes—what was his name again? Hanbin? Hojin?

“I’m sorry for interrupting you guys,” he says, a murmur of “it’s fine,” rippling through them before he’s looking over at Jungwon. “I don’t think you remember me-”

“Harua,” Jungwon recalls with sudden clarity and the pink deepens. “I remember you. From 3-A, right? Do you need anything? My notes?”

He’s already reaching for his bag when Harua shakes his head. “None of that.” He breathes in as if trying to steady himself. “It’s actually… about the dance.”

Oh. Oh.

“Oh,” Jungwon says, stupidly. Around him, all his friends have quieted down, watching the two of them with rapt attention. 

Harua nods. “Yes. So I wanted to ask… If it’s possible and if you haven’t already gotten a date-”

Here it is. Jungwon’s first invitation to the dance of the year-

“Hey, Jungwon!” The shout has Jungwon’s attention snapping away from Harua, lurching back to search for who it is that had called his name.

His eyes find Jay, seated atop the table at the far end of the cafeteria. He’s grinning, a sparkle to his eyes as he points to Jungwon. Jungwon huffs before he’s cupping his hands around his mouth, shouting back. “What is it?”

Jay’s eyes snap to Harua and then back to Jungwon, smiling wide as ever. “You’re coming to the dance with me, right?”

At his side, he thinks he hears Sunoo inhale sharply. Jungwon himself blinks, wondering if Jay had discussed this with him beforehand. He draws a blank. 

Still, he’s yelling back. “Obviously!”

Jay’s face lights up and he’s shooting Jungwon a pair of thumbs-up before he turns back to his friends, all hounding him at a moment’s notice. The silence that had been suspended in the cafeteria shatters and it’s deafening once more. Shaking his head in fond irritation, Jungwon turns back to Harua.

“You were saying-” He pulls up short, realizing the boy is nowhere to be seen. “Where’d he go?”

Sunoo only looks at him blandly before returning to his food. Jake eyes him in disbelief. Even Heeseung and Sunghoon seem mildly irked, while Riki continues to be blissfully unaware as always.

“What-”

“It’s nothing, Wonie,” Sunoo says, sugary-sweet. “Enjoy your prom date.”

“It’s not a date-”

“Okay.”

And just like that, they’re all eating again. Jungwon doesn’t get it.

Nothing is making sense today.

The one thing that does make sense, however, is how Jake finally gives up on trying to ask out Heeseung, accepting his fate as he sighs pitifully into his instant noodles. Only for Heeseung to turn to him as he puts away his tray, casually asking if Jake wants to go with him to the dance.

Jake very nearly chokes on his ramen with how eagerly he nods. When Heeseung’s back is turned, he pumps his fists, bouncing from foot to foot. 

“We all have dates now,” Sunoo says, and Jungwon resists pointing out that his isn’t a date because he and Jay are going as friends. “Well, except for Sunghoon-hyung. You can come with me and Riki-”

Sunghoon rejects the suggestion in an instant. “No.”

“But you’ll be alone-”

“I’d rather be alone.”

Jay joins them at the very end, glued to Jungwon’s side as usual. “What’d I miss?” He asks, frowning when no one graces him with a reply. 

And, well, Jungwon would be a liar if he’d said that something warm doesn’t froth in his chest at the realization that out of everyone Jay could’ve chosen, he’d picked Jungwon once again. 

/four

“Oh, you’re here too?”

It’s no longer a surprise when Jungwon looks up to find Heseung approaching him at the bleachers, hopping over the rows of seats until he’s plopping down next to Jungwon. “Hey, hyung,” Jungwon greets. “Here to see Jake-hyung?”

Heeseung flushes, just enough for his cheeks to tinge with pink. “No-”

“You know, you really don’t need an excuse to come to watch your boyfriend play.” The title has Heeseung coloring even further, coughing into his fist before he gives a resolute nod. 

It is probably endearing to some, how Heeseung and Jake danced around each other even after officially getting together three months back. Jungwon would beg to differ—if anything, it was difficult to watch—shouldn’t they be comfortable with each other by now? But no, they still couldn’t look each other in the eye while holding hands, turning crimson within the first few minutes.

“What about you?”

“Do you even have to ask?” Jungwon crooks his finger at one of the splotches of blue-and-yellow on the court—Jay, who immediately takes notice of him, waving eagerly. Jungwon’s lips twitch but he tamps it down. “Blew up my phone in the morning, something about needed ‘moral support.’”

Which, Jungwon thinks, is bullshit. It’s not as if he’s the only one here to watch practice—so is an assortment of girls from a range of years, gossiping fervently amongst themselves as they gesture not-so-subtly at the players. That’s plenty of moral support, isn’t it?

Heeseung nods, sympathetic. “One of their biggest games of the year is coming up.”

“Yeah, but I have things to do.” Balancing his chin on his knees, he peers out into the court, surveying as the team all go through the motions of their warm-ups. Jay and Jake are messing around, as usual, poking and prodding at one another amid their stretches and immediately playing dumb when the coach glances sharply at them. “For being the star players of their team, they sure aren’t taking this seriously.”

The curve of his lips stiffens into a frown. “They’re desperate to win, you know?” He glances up at Heeseung. “Especially since it’s their last year.” 

Jay might downplay it as much as he can, but it’s clear to anyone how important the upcoming game is to him, how desperately he wants his hands on the trophy. 

“Jake told me a little,” Heeseung says. He’s watching Jake closely, who’s abandoned dribbling in favor of shooting at the hoop instead, immediately wheeling around to check if Heeseung had seen when he makes it. His celebration is cut short by the coach scolding him. “It's very important to him, to leave a legacy behind him.”

Leave a legacy… One way or another, Jungwon had full faith that Jay would do just that.

“I heard the coach is already trying to recruit people for next year.”

Jungwon snorts. “Oh, yeah, Riki can’t go anywhere without being stopped by one of the sport team coaches.” The memory of Riki popping out from the janitor's closet, begging for Sunoo and Jungwon to help him hide, has him chuckling. “They’re really out for him.” 

They quiet as the coach claps his hands together to commence practice, all attention on the players on the court. 

The moment practice is in session, there is no more tomfoolery or playing around. Jay’s face hardens into the stony face of determination and confidence that always has Jungwon’s heart picking up in pace, the molten warmth of his eyes cooling into steely resolve. 

Jungwon’s always known this, but Jay’s good —there is a reason he’s as popular as he is, and it’s not simply because of his handsome looks. But still, each time he watches the other on the court, the same awe he had felt the first time he had seen Jay play washes over him, breath stilling at the back of his throat. 

On the court, Jay seems to fly. Ducks away from opposing hands, soars from one end to another as if wings have grown from his very back. Jungwon’s eyes follow him without a hitch, unable to look away.

Time flies with him and the coach is clapping his hands, ending the first half of the practice session and calling for a water break. Jay immediately changes his course and makes a beeline for Jungwon, grinning from ear-to-ear as he jogs up to him. “Jungwon-ah!” 

He draws nearer and all at once, Jungwon’s hit by his disheveled appearance. The end of his bangs, pushed away by the headband he’s sporting, sticks to his forehead. There’s a light sheen of sweat that glints on his skin, the light of the gymnasium making it look as if he’s glowing. It only serves to emphasize his exposed biceps, the muscles of his arms rippling with every little movement. Jungwon blinks, wondering why his mind has gone blank.

“Did you see how I did?” Jay’s question yanks him from the strange realm of his thoughts and Jungwon wrinkles his nose as Jay leans close, peering up at him expectantly. “I did great, right?”

“Gross, back up,” he grouses, pressing his palm flat against Jay’s chest to shove him back, and once again his attention is suddenly narrowing down to the hard muscle under his hand. God, what’s wrong with him? Hurriedly, he rifles through his backpack to both distract himself and hide his hot face, producing the washcloth he’d thought to bring. “Take this, you’re sweaty.”

Out of reflex, Jay swats the washcloth Jungwon tosses him. It ends up back in Jungwon’s lap, who squints up at the other, offended. “If you don’t want it-”

The words die in his throat as Jay bends forward, hands tucked behind his back as he smiles innocently. “Do it for me.”

Jungwon stares, bewildered. He has half the mind to refuse because Jay wants him to wipe his sweat for fuck’s sake, before he’s caving in—only because he knows Jay will pout until he’s forced to do it anyway. Heaving a sigh, he motions for Jay to come closer.

Obediently, he listens, closing his eyes as he does. Gingerly, Jungwon’s scooting forward as well, reaching out to dab at Jay’s face. “I can’t believe you’re making me do this,” he grumbles. “You know I hate sweat-”

Jay’s only smiling, eyes still closed. “Mhm.”

“You owe me so much after this.”

“Of course.”

Jungwon lets out a hiss of breath, feigning annoyance. Contrary to his words, he’s gentle as he pats Jay’s face with the towel, using a hand to lift Jay’s chin. If he must do this, he may as well do it properly.

“There you go,” he says when he’s finally finished, disposing the cloth into Jay’s hands. Jay’s eyes open, smile so, so sweet.

“Thank you, Wonie,” Jay says, and it must be how softly the words are said that has his heart tripping itself over in his chest. Still, he only scoffs lightly. 

“Yeah, yeah, now get on with it.” With one more smile, Jay’s bounding off. Meanwhile, Jake, who must have run to Heeseung that same time Jay had come to Jungwon, glances between Heeseung and his shirt, where there’s a great big splotch—must’ve used it as a makeshift towel. Still, he looks hopeful.

“I don’t have a towel,” Heeseung says plainly, and Jake’s shoulders slump. “...I’ll bring one next time.”

Just like that, Jake’s smiling again, waving cheerily as he leaves to join the team again. Heeseung glances at Jungwon. “That was a good call.” 

“Jay-hyung always sweats like hell,” Jungwon says, shrugging. “I just got used to bringing them for him.”

Heeseung doesn’t reply, only surveys him coolly. Jungwon doesn’t like the look in his eyes so he turns his attention back to the court once more, where practice is in session once more.

The older only speaks again when Jake points at him, mouthing for you before missing the shot entirely, looking away to spare his boyfriend the embarrassment. “Sunoo said something about meeting up with them after practice is over. You’ll be coming, right?” 

A nod of Jungwon’s head as he watches Jay console an ashamed Jake. “We can all head there together.” 

Before long, practice is over, the team packing up and putting away equipment. Jay’s slinging on that blue varsity jacket he’s so fond of parading around everywhere, joining the three of them as they filter out the gymnasium. 

His arm has found its place around Jungwon’s shoulders in no time, pulling the other to him, while Jake looks between Heeseung’s hand and his own as if debating whether to take it or not. “Where we headed?”

“Sunoo-hyung said to meet up at the park,” Jungwon answers as they step out of the school. The cool air of autumn bordering winter hits him and he shivers, goosebumps rising down the lengths of his arms. It hadn’t been a good idea to leave his jacket behind at his locker, and now he is suffering the consequences of his actions. “Not sure what for.”

“He’s been talking about wanting ice cream from that new parlor that opened up recently,” Heeseung says over his shoulder. Jungwon frowns.

“Ice cream in the winter?”

Jay nudges him. “That’s when it tastes best, you know.”

It also sounds like a great way to get sick, is what Jungwon doesn’t add. Especially with how as they get closer and closer to the park and the sun gets lower and lower, Jungwon gets colder and colder, unable to stop the shudders making their way down his skin. Discreetly, he huddles closer to Jay, if only to soak in some of the other’s warmth.

It’s only a matter of time before Jay takes notice, what with how he’s pressed flush to Jungwon. Just as expected, the older is frowning down at him, letting go so he can take in Jungwon’s hunched-over, shivering form. Jungwon immediately mourns the loss of heat. “Are you cold?”

“Just a little,” he says. “Forgot my jacket because I was in a rush, so-”

He doesn’t get much farther than that because, without another word, Jay is shrugging his jacket off, Jungwon stopping to watch him in confusion. A moment later there is a warm weight on his back—Jay’s beloved jacket, draped across his shoulders. “Here, take it.”

Words fail Jungwon before he’s swallowing. “Won’t you be cold?”

Jay’s lips stretch into a grin. “Don’t worry about me, I have thick skin. Come on, put it on properly.” 

It’s evident that even if Jungwon tries to offer it back, Jay will refuse him, so there’s nothing much he can do but relent and hesitantly slip his arms into the sleeves. It’s obviously a size too big for him, the shoulders too wide, sleeves sagging down and going past his wrists as a result. 

It also smells like Jay. Musky, with hints of sweet citrus and light floral. Jungwon catches himself breathing in and immediately jerks his head up. 

While he’s significantly warmer than he had been a moment ago, he’s still reaching for the buttons. Jay beats him to it, voice a low hum. “Let me do it.” 

In practiced movements, he’s fastening his fingers around each button, snapping them shut. Jungwon follows his movements until his hands are moving higher and higher, forcing him to lift his chin. The other isn’t looking down at his hands—rather he’s looking into Jungwon’s face, chuckling when their eyes meet. “Looks good.”

Jungwon’s lips quirk into a smirk. “Better than you, huh?”

Another laugh, coming out in a cloud. “Actually, yeah. You look cute.”

For no discernible reason, the admission has his breath freezing in his throat. From where they’re bunched up within the too-long sleeves of Jay’s jacket, his fingers feel cold. “Hyung-”

“Hey, you guys coming or what?” Jake’s shout has them both turning forward, Jay’s hands dropping from his collar. “Sunoo’s already blowing up my phone!”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re coming!” Jay shouts back before he’s glancing back at Jungwon. “Warmer now?”

Jungwon doesn’t trust himself to speak, so he only nods, chin buried past the collar of the jacket.

By the time they reach the park, Heeseung’s hand has crept into Jake’s and Sunoo’s waving at them from the distance, rocking back and forth on his heels. “Took you guys long enough!”

Sunghoon and Riki are already there, the former unflinching in the face of cold while Riki shamelessly clings to him, making for a rare sight. “I thought I’d freeze my balls off,” Riki groans, instinctively holding up his hands to shield himself from a hit from Sunoo. 

Luckily for him, Sunoo’s too busy scanning them all. “We’re all here now, so we can finally go,” he says, before his gaze is landing on Jungwon, eyes widening just a fraction. In nimble steps, he’s skipping to his side, snagging Jungwon’s arm. “Sorry, hyung, I’m going to borrow Jungwonie real quick!”

He’s being yanked forward until the two of them are ahead of the group, Sunoo ducking closer so he can whisper, although it comes out rather loud. “Is that Jay-hyung’s jacket? Actually—that’s a stupid question—his name is written on the back of it.” Sunoo leans even closer. “You can’t deny it anymore,” he says, gleeful. 

“I can’t deny anything if I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Jungwon points out. Sunoo makes a frustrated sound. 

“The jacket!”

“What about it?”

Sunoo looks at him like he’s stupid. “You don’t know how jocks work, do you? Their jackets are their most prized possession—they’d never give it someone they aren’t with!”

Slowly, Jungwon makes sense of what Sunoo’s trying to imply. He can’t help it—he wheezes out a disbelieving laugh. “He gave it to me because I was cold.” Sunoo waves him off.

“Even Jake-hyung hasn’t given Heeseung-hyung his jacket,” Sunoo explains impatiently. “You don’t get how important it is—it has his name on it! It’s like, staking a claim or something-”

“It’s just a jacket.”

“Ask Jake-hyung if it’s ‘just a jacket’ and then we’ll talk.”

“Or, we won’t talk at all, because I’m not asking.” Jungwon tugs his arm out of Sunoo’s grip. “Listen, just because-”

“-Jay-hyung does things for you he’d never do for anyone else, it doesn’t mean anything?” Sunoo cocks his head, the epitome of sure. “Alright, Wonie.”

Lip curling, Jungwon pulls away, mood thoroughly soured. So what if Jay is more inclined towards him than anyone else? It doesn’t prove anything other than the fact that Jay cares for him.

Right? 

A chilly hand slides to his waist—Jay, concern written all over his face. “Everything alright?”

Jungwon relaxes, the tension he hadn’t realized had seized his shoulders easing away. “Yeah.”

Jay’s hand doesn’t leave his waist, even after all seven of them have piled into the ice cream parlor. Jungwon’s thoughts do not stray to it one too many times.

Today is Jake’s lucky day because he successfully convinces Heeseung to share a banana split with him. At their side, Riki scarfs down nearly his weight in ice cream, scoops the size of small boulders. In contrast to him, Sunoo’s settling for a dainty mint sundae which they all wrinkle their nose at, and Sunghoon a vanilla cone. 

“You sure you don’t want anything?” Jay asks him before he makes his way to the counter to order a milkshake, and Jungwon shakes his head. It’s a pleasant surprise when Jay returns with two drinks in hand just as Jungwon begins to second guess himself. 

“I had a feeling you might change your mind,” he says, handing Jungwon one, and even the chilly slide of the milkshake can’t cool the fuzzy warmth at his chest. 

They all bid their farewells at the front of the shop, Jungwon waving at their retreating figures until they’ve faded into the gloom of night. Jay remains at his side, breaths coming out frosty. “Shouldn’t you be going?”

Jay offers him a crooked smile. “I’ll walk you back.”

The trip back is quiet. Jay’s tired from practice and for once, Jungwon’s grateful for it, because his head is too stuffed full to think about having a proper conversation. It’s only when they’re stepping up to Jungwon’s front door does he look down and register how he’s still swathed in Jay’s jacket.

“Here, your jacket-”

“Keep it.” His fingers pause from where he had been unbuttoning it, looking to Jay in confusion. The other only sticks his hands further into his pockets. “It looks better on you.”

“But…” Maybe it’s the cold that renders Jungwon stupid. “It has your name on it.”

Jay shrugs. The cold has tinged his face pink and rosy. “Consider it a gift.”

“I can’t just take it—isn’t it important?” Jungwon says, tongue dangerously close to tripping on his words. Jay mulls over it. 

“Well, if you’re so worried about keeping it, do me a favor.” Jay gestures to the jacket. “Wear it to school tomorrow.” 

Without another word, he’s walking off, leaving Jungwon blinking dumbly after him. His mouth feels like it’s sticky with honey. “What?”

Jay doesn’t so much as look over his shoulder. “You heard me! See you tomorrow.”

With that, he’s gone, leaving Jungwon clutching the blue-and-yellow fabric, utterly confused.

As promised, he does wear it. And when eyes and whispers follow him the entirety of the day, maybe, just maybe, he does understand what Sunoo had meant. 

/five

“You look like shit.”

As usual, Riki has absolutely no filter. Jungwon hadn’t expected anything else from him. “Thanks, I know.”

At Riki’s side, Sunoo peeks out to eye Jungwon’s face, offering concealer. “It’s fine,” Jungwon grunts, “I just didn’t sleep well.”

He doesn’t need to voice the reason. It’s obvious, from the gear they’re outfitted in—blue jerseys, striped headbands, athletic shorts—to how they all anxiously check their phones constantly for any texts from Jay or Jake. 

Today was the day they had all been waiting for and had been anticipating: the final game of the season. Jungwon’s sure he’s more nervous than Jay himself; he’d called the other yesterday under the guise of settling the other’s nerves, although it had been more for himself than anyone else. 

Jay had assured him that he was prepared and ready. Whichever way it goes, he’d said, he’d done the best he could, and would leave without any regrets.

“Of course,” Jay had added hastily, “that doesn’t mean I’m going to lose. You’ll be watching me with high expectations, won’t you?”

“I’ll be ready to take a picture of you with the trophy,” Jungwon had promised, drawing a delighted laugh from the other. 

While the call had calmed him, he still hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. In the morning, he had found himself staggering out of bed to get dressed, feeling more dead than living. 

“Wow, Jungwon-ah,” Sunoo says, eying Jungwon’s jersey with 99 displayed proudly and the varsity jacket slung over his shoulders, Jay’s name emblazoned on the back, “I wonder who you’re here to support. Let me guess—Yixing-hyung?"

Jungwon rolls his eyes. Sure, he was outfitted in Jay’s gear from head to toe, but it wasn’t that much.

…Alright, maybe he had overdone it a tad bit.

“It’s the final game,” he says in defense, and Sunoo mutters something under his breath that he doesn’t catch. He has a feeling if he asks the other to repeat himself he won’t like what Sunoo has to say, so he chooses not to. 

Today, the whole school buzzes with anticipation. Even the teachers are distracted enough that they don’t bother to tell their classes to quiet down, too caught up in the upcoming game. 

As expected, Jay and Jake are nowhere to be seen. They find Heeseung alone at his desk, face pinched in worry. He looks up as they approach.

“Have any of you seen Jake?” he asks hopefully, shoulders sagging when they all shake their heads. Jungwon can’t remember the last time he had seen the older this anxious, even more uneasy than he had been when taking college entrance exams.

Jungwon snags the chair closest to Heeseung. “I haven’t been able to see Jay-hyung yet, either,” he says. “I don’t think we’ll see them until the game.”

Heeseung slumps into himself even more. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this worried for someone else before. I don’t know how you do it, Jungwonie.” 

He pats Heeseung’s back, an attempt of comfort. “Don’t worry too much. Both of them are amazing players. The school has hardly lost since Jay-hyung and Jake-hyung joined the team.” It’s more to reassure himself than anyone else but a little of the tension bleeds off Heeseung’s expression.

The classroom door slides open, a head of black poking in—Sunghoon, a single brow raised. “So are we skipping the game today or…?”

That’s right, Jungwon realizes, checking the clock—it’s nearly time. Without any further delay, they’re all springing up from their seats, racing out. 

The hallways are filled to the brim, streams of students making their way to the gymnasium. A handful of teachers attempt to organize the chaos but quickly abandon the attempt. All Jungwon can do is grab hold of Heeseung and pray his feet don't get crushed as they push their way through the crowd.

The bright lights of the gymnasium are blinding, assaulting Jungwon’s vision when the five of them finally stumble their way in. Jungwon squints up, willing for the black spots to fade away before taking in the place.

Where the walls are usually bare, there are now royal blue banners draped along them, outlined in gold and proudly boasting their school’s emblem. Already, the audience is in full swing, bellowing out cheers. Jungwon’s gaze darts to the court, but it is still empty save for the lone student running across. 

“God, it’s so loud.” From where he’s clinging to Riki, Sunoo’s voice is nearly a shout. “I just remembered why I don’t like these games.” Jungwon tries to respond, only for the sheer amount of noise to drown out his voice. It’ll have to wait for the bleachers. 

Somehow, they make it in one piece, spilling into the seats at the very front. Riki nurses a surely-stinging back from where Sunoo had grabbed a fistful of his shirt. “Is it just me, or is it worse than last year?”

“Probably because it’s most of the team’s last game,” comes Sunghoon’s even reply. “Who are some of the best players the school has ever had.” 

That has pride surging through Jungwon, straightening in his seat. He adjusts the jacket on his shoulders, holding onto the sleeves tighter. 

At that very moment, there’s a gasp of delight. “Jungwonie! Oh, is that you?” 

Startled, Jungwon’s head jerks up, searching for the owner of the voice. His eyes land on a middle-aged woman with tender eyes, a stern-faced man at her side. Immediately, he’s jumping to his feet in recognition, rushing to greet them.

“Sungmo!” He nearly trips over in his haste to bow to each of them, the woman letting out a tinkling laugh. “Hyung didn’t tell me you’d be here!”

The woman smiles at him, a broad, pretty thing, so reminiscent of her son’s. She’s shaking her head, reaching out to pat Jungwon’s cheek. “Of course, he didn’t. Jongseong never likes to mention us even when we ask him too.” Her sparkling eyes sweep Jungwon in delight. “You’ve grown up so much since we’ve last seen you! Hasn’t he, jagiya?” 

Jay’s father glances at Jungwon from over his glasses. It’s easy to be intimidated by him—just like Jay, he had a face of stone that at first glance, seemed impenetrable. 

Except also, just like Jay, it is nothing but a ruse. His rocky mask is cracking apart, a smile finding its way through. “Ah, Jungwon-ah. You’ve become a man in such a short time—I hear you’ve been excelling in school.”

Jungwon’s quick to duck his head. “I’m doing normally.”

“Don't be humble,” Jay’s mother scolds. “I tell Jongseongie to learn from you and work hard in school and instead, what does he say? ‘Eomma, I have practice.’” She shakes her head. “It’s a great surprise he is even applying to college.”

“Jay-hyung works hard,” Jungwon says, and she pats his hand.

“Yes, yes, he does. But he could work harder , couldn’t he?” She heaves a sigh. “Enough about him. You need to come by soon, Jungwon-ah! I got so used to you coming after school with Jongseong, the house has been empty without you.” She peers at him, suspicious. “You’ll come over for dinner, won’t you?”

“Oh, that’s—I’d rather not intrude-”

“Nonsense.” She pats his hand, firmer. “I will tell Jongseong to invite you over, alright?”

There’s no shortcut to getting through a stubborn, middle-aged woman, so Jungwon can only agree, bowing in farewell once Jay’s mother has patted his cheeks and commended him for eating well. When he returns to squeeze back in next to Heeseung, Sunoo is looking at him curiously. “Relatives of yours?”

Jungwon cocks his head. “Relative?”

“The couple you just chatted with?”

“Oh! You mean Jay-hyung’s parents.” Sunoo frowns.

“Those were his parents? And you talked to them that familiarly?”

A wrinkle of his forehead as he replays his conversation in his head. He doesn’t think there had been anything out of place in how he had conversed with Jay’s parents. “They’ve known me for a long time,” he says, in ways of explanation. Sunoo still looks unconvinced, narrowing his eyes.

“You expect me to believe that Jay’s parents know who you are, love you almost more than their own son, and invite you over for dinner? There’s definitely something else going on.”

Maybe it should be more of a concern that this has happened so many times that Jungwon’s instantly catching onto what Sunoo is suggesting. “Hyung, I’ve told you-” He begins, ready to grouse at the other. He never gets the chance because Riki lets out a gleeful shout.

“They’re here!”

All previous thoughts vanish, Jungwon’s attention is immediately stolen by the court. From the locker room marches out a line of players, blue and gold. The stands are bursting into sound, cheering them on every step of the way.

Jungwon only searches for one player, and when he finds him, he’s already looking his way.

Glowing with pride as he eggs the crowd on, dimples grooved into his cheeks from how wide his grin stretches, is Jay. When he lowers his hands, he’s sporting the boxy smile that’s reserved for Jungwon and only Jungwon, bright and brilliant. 

“Beautiful,” Heeseung breathes out next to Jungwon, and he must be speaking about Jake, but all Jungwon can think is that it’s true—Jay, he is beautiful.

It’s nearly time. One last time, the players rush to the bleachers to clasp hands with friends and families to gain strength, and in the blink of an eye, Jay is right here.

“You’re here, Jungwon-ah.” Jay’s grin has yet to flicker. The lines bracketing his mouth are deep and Jungwon wants to press his thumbs to them and feel Jay’s upturned lips under the pads of his fingers. 

“You say this as if I’ve ever skipped a game of yours.”

“Yeah, but this is different. This is…” Jay casts his gaze over the court. “It’s the destination I’ve been working towards all these years. The finale to a season, you could say.” Jungwon snorts at the analogy and his smile deepens before he’s leaning over, cupping Jungwon’s hand in his own. “You believe in me, right?”

Jungwon’s lips soften into a gentle curve. “Someone has to.”

It’s a light jab that has Jay chuckling before he’s letting go to reach towards his arm. As Jungwon watches, he pulls off the wristband around his wrist, beckoning for Jungwon to hold out his hand. 

Puzzled, he does. Jay’s oh-so-gentle as he pushes the wristband past Jungwon’s fingers until it’s snug around his wrist. “What’s this?”

“Consider it a good luck charm.”

A wrinkle of his brow as he stares at the wristband, faded from years of being loved and put to use. For Jay to give him this… “Aren’t you the one who needs luck today?” 

Jay’s eyes crinkle at the corners. “You’re all I need.” 

And even Jungwon, quick with his quips and clever-tongued, for once, has nothing to say in response. 

The players are lining up but Jay still holds fast, meeting Jungwon’s gaze. All playfulness has faded off his face, nothing but steely resolve in its place. Jungwon’s chest tightens. “Don’t you dare take your eyes off of me.”

His fingers on Jungwon’s wrist seem to burn their imprints onto his skin. “I won’t.”

Quick as he had appeared, he’s gone. Jungwon thumbs at the wristband, drawing in a breath. 

An elbow nudges him—Sunoo, a hand tucked under his chin as he surveys Jungwon. “That was something.”

“Jay’s head is too high up in his ass,” Sunghoon grumbles, “does he think he’s in a sports drama?” 

Jungwon ignores both of them, eyes on the court. On Jay, as he had promised. 

The ball soars into the air and the game begins. 

Where it had been deafeningly loud earlier, strangely, it is now quiet. As if the audience are all holding their breaths, afraid that even an exhale will disturb the players as they flit across the court. The sound of the ball bouncing echoes throughout the room, the sounds of shoes squeaking unpleasant to the ears. 

The ball springs from one pair of hands to another, the team successful in keeping possession of it. One brave player tackles the chance, aiming for the hoop, and the audience draws a collective breath.

It misses. Just like that, the silence comes apart, disappointed groans rising from the crowd, interrupted by muttered so close’s and oh, man’s.

The ball takes flight, hands catch. It’s stolen by both sides, a constant struggle. The audience grows restless, more and more, until-

The unmistakable thunk of the ball ricocheting against the board and through the hoop sounds. Jungwon shouts, the audience joining him and in an instant, the air is filled with cheers and whoops. It’s quick to die down as the opposing team makes their own basket, rigid frowns taking its place. 

After that, all of it is a blur—first quarter, second quarter, third quarter. Jungwon’s throat is hoarse from shouting encouragements, the school’s name, Jake’s name, Jay’s name, over and over. His hands sting from clapping, sure to be sore later on.

The scores are tied. The players are no doubt exhausted, sweat glistening on their skin, chests heaving with pants. The audience sits on the edge of their seats, spines stiff. The clock is ticking and both teams are making their last stand.

Jungwon’s hands clasp around the wristband, refusing to take his gaze off of Jay. Jay, whose lips are set into a tight, determined line. Jay, who Jungwon has watched grow, from fumbling with the ball and lagging to rising above everyone else.

Jay, who Jungwon can’t imagine trading the place in his heart for anyone else.

Don’t you dare take your eyes off of me, Jay had said, but he hadn’t needed to.

Because Jungwon had never looked away. 

Three minutes. His throat is dry, so dry. 

Two minutes. The thunder of the crowd has long faded to a low rumble. His nails dig into his palms, surely leaving behind marks in the shape of crescent moons. 

One minute. In Jake’s hand is the ball. Without hesitance, he tosses. It careens through the air, a perfect arc-

-Right into Jay’s waiting palms. 

The breath whooshes out of Jungwon. 

Thirty seconds. Jay is moving, weaving through the players. He is ruthless, fervent.  

You’re all I need.

Ten seconds. Jay’s hands rise above his head, his feet leaving the ground with one last spurt of energy-

For a singular moment, the world slows down, Jungwon’s chest seizing.

In the next, the ball has gone through the hoop. 

There is nothing but stunned silence, filled with the sounds of the players' heavy breathing. The alarm blares, signaling the end of the game. 

Sounds burst throughout the gymnasium.

Screams, cheers, whistles. The resounding of feet as everyone jolts to their feet at once, thunderous claps filling the air. “We did it! We did it!” Sunoo shouts into his ear, squeezing Jungwon around the waist. Riki is all but tackling Heeseung, the two of them bellowing and screaming at the top of their very lungs. Sunghoon shouts out into the crowd, calling for Jay and Jake, a brilliant grin on his face.

And Jungwon-

There’s a soundless roar in his ears, mind a blank rush of white. His fingers are numb, eyes sweeping the court desperately, searching, searching. 

He finds it, what he’s looking for—Jay’s gaze snaps to his, and there’s no one else here but the two of them.

Did you watch me? His eyes ask, and Jungwon responds with his body.

Without a thought, he’s stumbling out of the bleachers. Before Jungwon knows it, he’s sprinting across the court and Jay is rushing right back at him, arms outstretched-

Their bodies collide and his arms clasp around Jungwon’s waist, lifting him off his feet. Suddenly, Jungwon can hear again—the hollering of the crowd, the cheers of the team. He can feel again—Jay’s face cradled between his palms, the electric tingle at his fingertips. He can think again, nothing but a clamor of Jay, Jay, Jay.

“Jay-” He chokes out, and he’s so, so dizzy, from how he’s being spun, from the sheer euphoria coursing through his veins, from Jay. “You did it, you did it-”

“You’re wrong,” Jay says, and his voice clears the muddle in Jungwon’s head. Everything narrows down to the stars dancing in Jay’s eyes, to the smile glowing on his face. “We did it.”

And his smile—oh, his smile, it could rival the very beauty of the planets. Jungwon wants to snatch it up, wants to hide it away. He wants this smile only to himself, he wants-

He wants to kiss him.

No sooner has the desire seized him and Jay is lowering him with the utmost gentleness. His hands remain on his waist as he leans forward and Jungwon has only a moment to suck in a breath before Jay’s lips are pressing against his forehead, tender and firm. 

His chin tilts up, finding Jay’s gaze. 

“Thank you.” 

In the polaroid Jungwon takes of Jay, it’s slightly unfocused and the angle is off but Jay’s expression shines through. When no one is looking, he tucks the photo into his pocket. 

Later, when all seven of them are gathered in celebration, Sunoo sidles up next to him. 

“You were about to kiss him,” he says, “and he was too.”

Jungwon’s shrug doesn’t feel like the ones from before, with vehement rejection. No, this one is jerky, unsure. “He was excited.”

“Jake-hyung was excited too,” Sunoo points out. “You didn’t see him about to make out with me on the court.” 

He shrugs again. It’s less because he doesn’t care and more because he has nothing to say in reply. 

This time, when Jay drapes an arm around his torso, when he beams at Jungwon, thinking the other isn’t looking, Jungwon has a sinking suspicion the memory of Jay’s face clasped between his hands won’t be leaving anytime soon. 

/plus one

A crash, followed by an obnoxiously loud fall at the door interrupts Jungwon’s thoughts for the nth time tonight. Normally, he would’ve ignored the noise and continued studying under dim light, if it hadn’t been for the series of slams transitioning into gentle, urgent knocks.

With a sigh, Jungwon sets down his textbooks, groaning as he rises to his feet. Who could it be at this time at night, with his grandmother long asleep and most people having retired to bed?

The sound of footsteps is muffled by his socked feet as he pads across the cool tiles to the door. It’s probably not the smartest thing to do when someone’s knocking at your door at night, but he’s grasping the doorknob and pulling it open anyway, shivering as his too-thin pajamas do nothing to stop the gust of cold.

Cold isn't the only thing that greets him. So does Park Jay, grinning at Jungwon from where he leans heavily against the doorframe. “Hey, Jungwon-ah. Are you going to let me in, or-?”

Wordlessly, Jungwon steps back, allowing for Jay to walk in. The cold’s taken a toll on him, his fingertips red and swollen from where he curls them into his fists, specks of sleet dusted across the collar of his sweater. 

Despite that, he’s gorgeous as usual, chapped lips still chapped and dark hair falling in soft curls over his forehead. He’s definitely not dressed for the weather, skin-tight jeans dirtied and ripped at the knees. 

There’s red crusted at his knuckles and a bruise he’d mistaken for a smudge of eyeliner flowering under his eye. Jungwon stares at them, alarmed. 

“What happened?” He blurts out, and Jay’s gaze lifts to him momentarily. With a start, Jungwon realizes that Jay is here . Knocking at his door in the middle of the night, bruised and scathed as if he’s battled his way through. From where he’s knelt to pull off the boots laced to his shin, Jay glances down at his bleeding knuckles as if he’s just noticed them. 

“Oh, this?” Jay chuckles, far too jovial, and Jungwon narrows his eyes. “Well, you see, I got into a fight. Don’t worry, I won, but it-”

“You slipped on ice, didn’t you?”

Jay stiffens before he’s sagging. “How did you know?” He grumbles and Jungwon shakes his head, unimpressed. 

“I don’t even—just come sit.” He crooks a finger at the couch, Jay raising his hands to refuse.

“I’m fine, it doesn’t-”

“Sit.” Jungwon’s stern tone has him relenting, quick to drag his feet to the couch and collapse heavily with an “oof.” Satisfied, Jungwon trudges to the kitchen, yanking open drawers and cabinets as he searches for the first aid kit he knows they have here somewhere—he’d just used it yesterday after he had poked nearly a dozen holes into his skin. 

“Here it is.” Hoisting the kit out of the drawer, he makes his way back to the living room. Jay’s peering at the haphazard array of open textbooks and scattered, uncapped highlighters curiously. 

“I would apologize for waking you up but it’s obvious you weren’t sleeping in the first place,” Jay says as Jungwon sets down the kit and cranks it open, rifling through its contents. 

“Yeah, but my grandmother’s in town,” he says. “You could’ve woken her up.” Jay mumbles something that sounds like an apology as Jungwon finally finds what he’s looking for. Thankfully, he hadn’t used up all the bandages yesterday. 

“Were you studying?” Jay asks as Jungwon clambers onto the couch next to him, roll of gauze, rubbing alcohol, and cotton balls in hand. “How cute.”

“Alright, ‘I’m oh-so cool and popular, I don’t need to study.’” He uncaps the bottle of liquid, the sharp scent of alcohol splicing the air. “Weren’t you the one begging me to help you just months ago?”

A chuckle. “‘M not making fun of you. I admire how dedicated you are.” 

The warmth that rises to his face must be because of how high he’d cranked up the heater. “Hush, hyung.” He beckons the other forward. “Give me your hand.”

Obediently, Jay is. Carefully, Jungwon curls his fingers around Jays’ wrist so that the other’s hand is laid out across his palm before he’s hunching over and getting to work, dabbing the alcohol-soaked cotton ball across Jay’s bloodied knuckles. 

The first touch of cotton to skin elicits a hiss of pain from Jay. “Sorry,” Jungwon murmurs. “You’ll have to deal with the pain.”

“I’ve been through much worse,” Jay says, but he’s gritting his teeth, releasing another hiss as Jungwon purposely dabs a little harder. “Oh, come on, that was on purpose, wasn’t it?”

Jungwon only hums, lips twitching in an effort to hide his smile. “What are you even doing here? At-” He glances at the time, “nearly one at night? There’s no way you were just walking around and slipped conveniently near here.” 

“I didn’t slip conveniently,” Jay corrects. “I was coming to see you and happened to slip on the way.” Jungwon pauses in his cleaning to digest his words.

“You came to visit me?” Jay nods. Jungwon lowers his hand. “This late?” Another nod. “Why?”

“Do I really need a reason to see your cute face?”

It’s just a joke, but Jungwon’s stomach is twisting itself into nervous knots anyway. “Hyung.”

“Fine, fine.” Jay slouches. “I missed you. I’ve been so busy with preparing for college and everything that I realized I hadn’t seen you for a long time.”

“We saw each other yesterday.”

“Hadn’t seen each other properly.”

Jungwon has no idea what that means. “And you couldn’t wait until morning?”

“Nah,” Jay says, softly. “I had to see you now.”

Now wanted, but had. A necessity, not a desire. Jungwon swallows. His throat suddenly feels far too dry, like it seems to have been in greater frequency since the aftermath of the game, when Jungwon had dove into Jay’s embrace.

The memory still haunts him. Jay’s hand on his waist, his on Jay’s face. The urge that had seized him at the realization of how easy it would be, to lean in and-

“Ouch.” Jay’s whimper tears him from his thoughts; without realizing, he’d pressed the cotton too harshly. Mumbling an apology, he withdraws his hands. 

This too was something that had begun happening in Jay’s presence. Jay would glance at him and he’d lose his train of thought. His knee would press against Jungwon’s leg and all he’d be able to think about was the points of their contact. 

It hadn’t been like this before. As long as he can remember, Jay had always been a familiar presence, one Jungwon could live in without any wariness or unease. And yet here he is now, hands trembling as he rolls out gauze to wrap around Jay’s fists.

There’s a lapse of silence as he wraps the gauze around Jay’s knuckles, wounding it tight enough for it to stay but not enough for it to be uncomfortable. “Don’t do it again.”

“Hm?”

“Try to visit me in the middle of the night.” He retrieves a pair of scissors, snipping the gauze short so he can tie the ends into a bow. 

“Did I worry you?” Jungwon pins him down with a frown, purposely pulling just a bit tighter.

“What do you think?” 

He is silent for a moment. When he speaks again, his voice is soft. “I’m sorry for scaring you, but I don’t think I’ll be able to resist coming back.” 

A puff of breath. “At least send me a text next time, will you?” Jay’s hands sufficiently patched up, Jungwon lets go. “There. You’re all good now.” 

Jay raises his hands, surveying Jungwon’s careful work closely. “What about you?”

Jungwon blinks. “Me?” he asks, and Jay gestures to his hands. When he glances down, he finds his own bandaged fingers. “Oh.”

“I slipped on ice, but what happened to you? I thought out of the two of us, I was the one prone to getting hurt.”

In hindsight, maybe Jungwon should have expected Jay to notice and prepare an excuse beforehand; after all, Jay did seem to notice every little thing about them. “It’s nothing. I was just… getting some sewing done. “

A brow rises. “Sewing? Is that your newest hobby?” When Jungwon doesn’t answer, he leans closer, peering into his face. “You’re hiding something from me, I can tell. Why the sudden interest in sewing?”

“Not everything is about you,” Jungwon says, then regrets it immediately, because in this case, it is about Jay. “I was just trying to embroider something for you, alright? It didn’t-” He trails off, taking notice of Jay’s expression, slack with awe. 

“You were embroidering? For me?”

“Don’t say it like that,” Jungwon grumbles, face feeling hot again. “I told you, it didn’t work out, so-”

“Can I see it?” Jay asks, and Jungwon fumbles to a stop. The refusal is rising to his tongue except Jay is clasping his hand, massaging his palms gently. “Please?”

His shoulders sink, Jungwon’s chin tucking itself into his neck. “It’s not good…” 

“You know I’ll love anything from you,” Jay says, and how is he able to say such sweet words with such ease? “It doesn’t matter what it is.”

“...Fine.” Jungwon caves in, if only to get Jay to stop looking at him like that. “Wait here.”

Sliding off the couch, he’s hurrying to his room. His abandoned work is already waiting for him on his bedside table. At least he had managed to tie up the stitches, he supposes, folding them so the embroidery is tucked within, hidden away. 

Gift in hand, he’s out again. Jungwon shoves the soft bundles of fabric into Jay’s awaiting hands, who blinks down at them at the two pieces of fabric—one blue, one yellow, like the colors of his jersey. “These are…” An exhale of delight. “Face towels? You embroidered face towels for me?”

Jungwon shifts, avoiding his gaze. “You’re always using the same ratty ones, I thought maybe it was about time you got new ones,” he explains, tongue heavy and awkward. “So, I-” He’s stopping dead once more as Jay pinches the folds apart, trying to catch a glimpse at the stitching. With a shriek, he grabs Jay’s hands to stop him. “Don’t look now!”

“Ouch—you’re always such a perfectionist,” Jay says. “I’m sure it’s just fine.”

“You’ll change your mind once you see.”

“Come on, Wonie.”

A beat of hesitation and Jungwon finally lets go, allowing Jay to unfold the washcloths. He does so with the utmost care, spreading them across his thighs to take them in. 

On one towel, on the upper right corner is written Jongseong, inscribed in messy stitches. On the other is what had been meant to be a blurb of two cats, but had turned into a grotesque caricature of them instead. Nervously, Jungwon watches Jay’s face for his reaction. 

“I told you, they’re-”

“They’re beautiful,” Jay says, effectively cutting his statement short. When Jay looks up, his eyes are shining. “You… You did this for me. Even though it hurt you.”

Jungwon swallows. “It wasn’t much,” he begins, but Jay’s shaking his head. His fingers curl around Jungwon’s wrist, gently pulling him forward. 

“It’s incredible,” Jay breathes out, voice thick with awe and something else that Jungwon can’t quite place. He shakes his head. “You’re-”

He’s tugging on his wrist again, and Jungwon wonders how he had missed how close they had gotten. 

“I don’t deserve you.” 

Jay’s thumbs settle over the pulse points of his wrists. Jungwon doesn’t dare to move, doesn’t budge as Jay pulls his wrist upwards, higher, higher. 

There’s the gentle pressure of Jay’s fingers, the soft tickle of breath against Jungwon’s skin. Jay tilts his head forward, the tiniest movement. 

His lips brush against the inside of Jungwon’s wrist. Tender, soft. Just above where the blood rushes under thin, fragile skin, where Jungwon’s pulse runs wild.

The world changes. 

It’s subtle, easily overlooked. A shift brought on just by this small action. It becomes more pronounced, harder to ignore as Jay’s lingers, one second, two seconds, before he’s bringing up Jungwon’s other wrist to his lips, pressing another kiss to his pulse. 

What had it been that Sunoo had said? 

Jay-hyung does things for you he’d never do for anyone else.

His thoughtless compliments. The ease with which he pressed his skin to Jungwon’s. How he hadn’t hesitated to shed his jacket, draping it over Jungwon’s shoulders. The kiss planted against his forehead at the game.

This, kissing his wrists with such gentleness, as if he is something precious, something Jay treasures. 

All of those, everything, and so much more. Things Jay would never do for or with anyone else. 

Only Jungwon.

“Hyung,” Jungwon says, and his voice is hardly louder than a whisper. “Jay-hyung.”

A hum. 

“What… What are we?”

Silence. Jay doesn’t move from where he’s bent over Jungwon’s wrists and Jungwon’s heart thuds against his ribs. Every part of him shouts at him to stop, to end this—whatever this is, before he says something he shouldn’t have, before he destroys it all. “Do you… do you like me? Do you want to be with me? Because…” His hands tremble and he curls his fingers to try and hide it. “When you—when you do these things, it makes me think-”

His voice breaks off, fading into nothing as Jay uncurls his fingers, so careful it hurts the space within Jungwon’s chest. He’s avoiding his eyes and for a moment, Jungwon is convinced he has misread this all terribly.

Jay coughs, bringing up a fist to muffle it. He doesn’t move his hand even after, keeping it clasped over his face. “I was… kind of assuming…”

“...Assuming?”

More coughing, Slowly, Jay lowers his hand, although he’s still not looking at Jungwon. “...That we were already together.”

What. 

What.

There’s a thousand things struggling to make their way out of Jungwon’s mouth. What does make it out of his mouth is a squawk. “I’m sorry?” He blinks. “Wait. You think… You think we’re dating?”

Jay’s head jerks in the tiniest of nods. Jungwon gapes. 

Then—that meant, all this time-

“What the fuck, ” he splutters, and then a wave of indignation is washing over him. “You can’t—you can’t just assume these things!” 

Jay crosses his arms over his chest, pursing his lips. “I asked you to prom! And gave you my jacket.”

“I thought we went as friends! And what does the jacket have anything to do with this?” 

“It’s team code that we don’t give our jackets to anyone unless we’re dating them,” Jay states as if it’s obvious. Jungwon stares at him, dumbfounded. 

So Sunoo had been right after all? It wasn’t a ridiculous claim he’d made up?

“We haven’t-” God, this entire situation was just so hysterical, Jungwon considers the possibility that he’d fallen asleep at his table and is currently in a dream. “We haven’t even kissed!”

“We were talking it slow-”

“We weren’t taking anything anywhere,” Jungwon snaps back. “Because we weren’t even dating-”

Jay cuts in before he can go off into a furious tangent. “Then,” he says, and he’s gathering Jungwon’s hands in his once more, expression suddenly serious, ”will you go out with me?”

Oh. Oh.

Well, isn’t that unfair?

The heat flooding his body all at once is blistering. There’s no doubt his face is a bright scarlet, and if his hands hadn’t been currently held captive in Jay’s, he would’ve covered up his face. All he can do now is avert his eyes. 

“You can’t just say that,” he mumbles. Jay only inclines his head, hopeful. 

“Well? Will you?” 

This was happening, Jungwon realizes. What he had denied for so long, chalked up to friendship. Waved off their friends whenever they claimed there was something else more, scoffed in their faces because of course, Jungwon would know if there was something between him and Jay.

And now, look who is the biggest fool. Admittedly, Jungwon can admit this is one of his… less than intelligent moments. 

Jay is still watching him expectantly. Jungwon sucks in a breath. “That’s-” He meets Jay’s eyes and the fondness in his gaze has him getting shy all over again. “...Yeah.”

There’s a soft exhale from Jay—relief, Jungwon realizes—before he’s slumping back. There’s a smile playing out across his lips. “God, you had me scared there for a moment.”

Jungwon huffs. “Oh, please. Why would I say no?” No sooner has the words left his mouth and he’s hiding his face, regretting everything. Jay’s laugh only deepens the embarrassment. “I mean-”

“Jungwon-ah,” Jay says, and his voice is close now, just a little ways from Jungwon. “I love you.”

The breath rushes out of his lungs all over again. “Hyung-”

Jay’s tugging at his hands, prying them off his face. “Come on, won’t you say it back? Don’t leave me hanging.”

Jungwon’s hands slip away, revealing his face. Jay pauses, taking him in, with his surely rosy cheeks and messy hair. “Oh. If you don’t-”

“I love you too,” Jungwon blurts out, and then he’s laughing, breathless, and a little maniacal. “I love you,” he repeats, and the words have never sounded so right.

It’s as if the admission has been waiting to spring itself free from his heart, and now that it has, a dam has broken. He can’t stop the words from spilling from his lips, over and over. “I love you, I love you, I-”

“God-” Jay breathes out, and suddenly, he’s right there, knees pressed to Jungwon’s and hand curling into the short hairs on the back of Jungwon’s neck. “You drive me crazy.”

“Is that a good thing?” Jungwon asks, a little playful. At this proximity, he’s acutely aware of the ghost of breath against his face, of how they’re drawing oxygen from each other. Jay’s eyes drift down to his lips. 

“It’s amazing,” he murmurs. And then: “Can I kiss you?” 

When Jungwon answers, it’s in a rush of breath. “Please.”

There are no fireworks, no electric sparks that run through their bodies. Kissing Jay, it’s like everything else that concerns the other—familiar, lovely. A gentle melding of their lips, sweet and slightly awkward in the way that all youthful kisses are.

Somewhere along the way, Jungwon’s hands find themselves tangled in Jay’s hair, pulling the other closer to him. Jay complies easily, meeting the rise of Jungwon’s body curving into his by sinking with his own, until their pounding chests are pressed flush. Shivers crawl down his spine, but these, they are welcome. They find a home in the hollows of his bones and curl up within, warming every inch of his skin. 

Sweet—it’s so sweet. How Jay nudges aside his nose to angle himself better. How the pad of his thumb smooths along the flourishing stroke of Jungwon’s eye, tracing its shape. How he nibbles on Jungwon’s lower lip, nothing but the tiniest scrape of teeth against the plush of his lips. 

It’s Jay who pulls away first, cradling Jungwon’s face. “Is this okay?”

“Mhm,” Jungwon says, and reels Jay back in for more. 

It is only when they’ve kissed until their mouths are swollen and cherry-red and it stings to even peck each other lightly do they finally disentangle themselves from each other’s embrace, breathing slowing as they gulp down much-needed oxygen. Even as his breaths calm, Jungwon’s body does not, buzzing with excitement and dizziness and the high that comes with kissing Jay.

“So…” Jay begins, corner of his lip lifting, “boyfriends?”

Jungwoon shoves him, gently. “Yeah. Boyfriends.” 

If they kiss on the couch again, again and again, until their lips have become slack from exhaustion and their kisses softened by drowsiness, well, it’s only for them and the moon to know.

…And Jungwon’s grandmother, who discovers them early in the morning, Jungwon curled into Jay’s chest, tucked between his legs. 

And maybe, after their friends eye their joined hands the next day, heaving out multiple finally’s and took you guys long enough’s, maybe, Jungwon admits, everyone had been right all along.