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Those who told him studying at U.A. would be the best time of his life should suffer. Agonizingly slowly.
If he was a little honest, Izumi Kouta would admit he never expected to end up studying at the prestigious high school. His hate for Heroes and everything about them clouded his mind for a few years in his childhood. Easy to understand when both his parents got killed on the job and his aunt - now his legal guardian - was a hero herself and had close to no time to take care of him. But then, the summer of his five years, Kouta met his hero. And it was a life-changing encounter.
Now, aged fifteen and freshly graduated from middle school, Kouta was shaking in anticipation for the school year to come. He wouldn't admit it though. He was standing with the new first years in U.A. school yard while Principal Nezu gave his welcome speech. Kouta's eyes traveled through the crowd of his soon-to-be classmates, dutifully lined up by class, and caught a flash of silver. Eri looked back at him and waved her hand discreetly, with a beaming smile and wide and sparkling scarlet eyes. She then turned around to whisper to the guy next to her and stepped aside a little for chestnut curls to fill Kouta's vision. Katsuma nodded a little stiffly and smiled shyly at him.
Kouta snorted but grinned back. The three of them became really close with the passing years. For starters, they were around the same age - with Eri and Katsuma only a year older than him - and shared the same passion for Pro Heroes. Well… not exactly all Heroes though. Their admiration went to Pro Hero Deku. That was why they matched that much : they got pulled together when they noticed they were all looking up to the same guy. Deku was strong, always fighting with a smile on his face and he was kind. And he saved their lives too! Deku was their hero and the best!
Kouta was kind of glad to know his two closest friends attended the same school (and his massive crush for Eri did not weigh in his choice by the way, not at all!). He focused again on the speech going on, only to notice Nezu had traded places with Aizawa. The man looked dead - inside AND outside - and it was clear he would rather be anywhere else than here.
"So" he sighed, and he sounded so done already. "Like the previous years, some top Heroes will come to assist the teachers during physical workout. They'll come once a week to train with each class."
A wave of restlessness traveled through the first years. "For the first semester, the Wonder Duo agency sent us their Heroes…"
No way?!
"That means starting next week, we'll have to put out with Hero Deku and Dynamight's nonsense" Aizawa huffed, and well, that was weird.
What was even weirder was the looks of resignation and dejection the senpai were bearing. In contrast, the first years looked ready to implode from the excitement to meet the number one Duo.
What the hell?
"Anyway, second and third years, you do brief the new blood. Or don't, I do not care. Too tired for this…"
At the corner of his eyes, Kouta saw Eri facepalming dramatically. He swore to himself he'd get to the bottom of this.
****
Kouta didn't manage to ask Eri nor Katsuma that week. Their schedules were too different to catch up at lunch and the three of them already had prior engagement for the weekend. He just got a text from Eri on Monday morning to warn him to avoid the rooftop " at all costs! Avoid it like your life's on the line!" . Kouta found it a little bit extra but well… Eri's foster dad was Aizawa-sensei so it kind of was not surprising.
At lunch time the very next day, the cafeteria had been so crowded and the yard and park too. Kouta was hungry and wanted to enjoy the sunny day. So he ignored Eri's advice and went to the rooftop to eat his lunch with some of his classmates. They sat and were enjoying their meal when the door giving access to the stairs opened and none other than Deku and Dynamight stepped outside. They didn't notice the small group of students and Kouta pouted a little. He hadn't seen Deku for a few months, but he knew better than jumping straight to the Pro Hero with his classmates around. He didn't tell anybody he knew Deku aside from his professional achievements. He focused again on the other students’ chit-chat when…
"Wow Kacchan it looks so tasty!"
"Of fucking course, nerd. I cooked it!
"You really made a bento for me! You always take such good care of me. Kacchan is amazing.", and oi oi oi ! What the hell with this tone? It was more a purr than a human sound at this level.
"Whatever" Dynamight groaned, and Kouta risked a glance at them. Deku was sitting next to Dynamight and does he really need to be that close? What about personal space dammit!? He was leaning on the blond, a very content smile on his freckled face.
"Is that mapo tofu?"
"Yes nerd."
A small silence then…
"Gimme some Kacchan! Aaah" Deku opened his mouth wide, his tongue poking a little outside. The act in itself was already borderline of public decency, but it was nothing compared to the filthy, sultry moan that escaped his lips when he swallowed the piece of food Dynamight fed him. Deku made a show of licking his lips before digging into his own bento. Kouta choked on this onigiri, his classmates red as tomatoes and faces low in discomfort. Kouta could relate.
To his credit, Dynamight kept a perfect poker face, only shrugging before picking a piece of meat. His ears were a little red. What was less subtle however, was the freaking tent in his pants.
What the fuck?!
****
"I told you not to go there…" Eri whined. And yeah. Sure she did. Still.
"You could've told me Deku and Dynamight used the rooftop of this freaking school to …. To…" Kouta grunted, dejected. His cheeks were bright red with embarrassment. "Deku moaned . A straight from bad porn moan. And Dynamight was hard for fuck sake! I can't erase it from my memories…" He added in a whine.
"They're not."
"What?"
Katsuma massaged his temple. Eri sighed and wow she really looked like her father here!
"They're not dating nor having sex. Honestly, it would be way more bearable if they did just stop being pining idiots and get rid of this awful unresolved sexual tension."
Blink.
"You're telling me… they're doing all this shitty flirting but none of them notices the other’s feelings?
"Yes."
"And they've been at it for how long exactly?"
"Dad told me it started during their third year but it was way tamer. They kinda grew desperate like four years ago so they're giving their worst… Bets are on about when they will confess and pull us out of this misery. Chargebolt's the one who started them by the way."
Kouta stayed shell shocked. No words came to him. What the hell?? What…
"The fuck?!"
Katsuma nodded slowly.
"I know, right?"
*****
So it became his life. Doing everything to avoid the two Pro Heroes when possible. Every time he saw them at the end of a corridor, or coming in the yard in the morning or at the top of the school's stairs. Kouta managed to evade the unlucky encounter that was fated to happen for three long and delightful days. Unfortunately, he couldn't do much during training sessions as they would be overseen by Deku and Dynamight. His plan had worked well… but accidents happened.
*****
"Kacchan look at this!" Deku chirped and sat next to Dynamight, in the middle of the gym. Just to be clear, they were in the middle of a training session, overseen by the Two Pining Idiots (as Kouta subbed them. It was pretty fitting).
"That's the newbie you don't fucking stop talking about?
"Yes ! His quirk looks so polyvalent, I already wrote four pages about him in my notebook! Can't wait to meet him! Both your quirks are quite similar, it's so interesting!"
"Tch, mine's still the best."
Deku stared at him from below, eyes wide opened and genuinely star-struck.
"Of course!" He said, and he looked offended. "I wouldn't have three notebooks only about you if I didn't think so Kacchan.”
Dynamight snorted smuggly, looking way too content for someone who just had the confirmation their childhood friend most likely acted like their stalker.
Whatever.
The blond's hand found his way to Deku dark curls to mess with them. It was too gentle though, come on… Kouta rolled his eyes and proceeded with his warm-up. When he turned back at them again, only five minutes later, they were standing again and still focused on Deku's phone.
Dynamight's hand was wayyyy too low on Deku's back to be platonic. The freckled man didn't seem too bothered though, seeing how he tried to snuggle closely to Dynamight in an attempt to make that hand fall totally on his butt. He wasn't even subtle with it! Kouta wanted so badly to slam his head on a wall and never wake up again.
Fucking Pro Heroes!!!
****
Deku hurt himself during one of their physical practice. It would have been alarming if not for the fact it was a regular occurrence. The guy literally lived in Recovery Girl infirmary during his school’s years and spent at least one month a year in the hospital now that he went Pro.
But this time – obviously – Dynamight had to go Plus Ultra.
“I fucking told you to have more self-preservation instincts, asshole!” he roared and Deku shrank on himself in guilt. “Nobody was in danger here! You just screwed yourself for nothing! How stupid can you be?!”
“I thought she was going to hit her head… My body…”
“Don’t you ‘My body moved on its own’ me, Deku” the blond spat. He looked honestly worried, his eyes wild with concern. Kouta almost felt pity for him. Keyword being almost .
Deku lowered his head, not daring to answer. His shoulders were shaking, and his lips wobbled.
“I’m sorr…”
“Tch! Fucking piss me off. I don’t need your shitty apology! If anything, you should be sorry for the fucking mess you did here. Worrying everybody, and shit!”
By everybody, that includes you, you know?
“I’m taking you to the old lady – No objection, nerd, don’t try me on this.”
Yes please, take your bullshit somewhere else where nobody has to witness it.
“Waaa-chan !!” And god, Kouta talked too fast again. Because Dynamight seemed to think the best way to carry Deku was to slip one arm behind his knees and the other behind his back, ending up lifting the greenette in a perfect bridal carry.
Deku faltered a little and threw his arms around Dynamight’s neck to avoid falling. All traces of guilt quickly gone and immediately replaced by a dreamy gaze. He was enjoying this way too much for someone who just got screamed at by the fiery blond. Kouta wondered, foolishly, if Deku really needed to hug (cause YES it was a hug, nothing else) Dynamight this strongly.
“Kacchan is so strong” he whispered hotly against the blond neck and Kouta wanted to gag.
Deku didn't even try to hide his ogling. Here he was, star struck, snuggling in the blond pecs, a lecherous drool at the corner of his mouth.
Dynamight swallowed loudly and exited the gym with a resolute footstep. Kouta let out a breath he didn't notice holding back.
God please find a room already!
*******
"Oi Deku..."
Brimming smile. Puppy eyes. Metaphorical wagging tail.
"Yes Kacchan ?"
A grunt (only to pretend he was not affected, the fool).
"You're useless in taking care of yourself so I'm gonna stay at your place 'til you're healed. Fucking don't want my partner to die of starvation or because you set fire to the stove."
"Okay Kacchan !"
(Dynamight stayed a full ten days at Deku's. How did Kouta knew ? Deku came every day with a handmade bento filled with only his favourite food and wearing too-big sweaters - definitely Dynamight's belongings judging by the skull patterns.)
*******
"Kacchan, your costume updates are amazing! You look sooooo good!" Deku crooned on training session number 6. He then spent the next two hours checking out Dynamight's ass and his full, perky and beefed up pecs. His green eyes were literally undressing him and he didn't bother being sneaky.
The blond was preening under the attention and went as far as taking out his black tank top to expose in full light his sweaty and glittering bare chest. Deku's brain burned out and it took one long minute to reboot it. His face was covered in a scarlet blush and his breath was shallow. He excused himself and ran away, his body sparking with green electricity. His escape was not enough to hide the growing problem in his skin-tight green spandex.
Dynamight looked smug for the rest of the day.
Kouta, his classmates and their teacher weren't amused.
****
Kouta had enough of this bullshit. He. Was. So. Done.
About three months after the beginning of the school year, he snapped. Some senpai endured the unnecessary, disastrous and untolerable courtship - if it could be named as much though - for three whole years. Maybe they were stronger than him, or maybe they just were masochistic. Anyway, Kouta would not, by any means, be subject to this teeth-grinding shitshow any longer. He totally rejected the thought of having to witness this mess until he graduated.
In the span of three months, he heard way many 'Kacchan's amazing' (in tone range going from pure admiration to bedroom moaning) than he wanted to. Plus the skinship… the goddamn skinship (Dynamight's hand inside Deku thigh doing circle motions with his thumb, Deku leaning on the blond back/shoulder/torso, hands on ass, chest, almost crotch! ). They were flirting so unabashedly it hurt.
So yeah…. He couldn't anymore. His sanity was at stake. He couldn't be a hero if he killed someone too.
Desperate times called for desperate measures.
If nobody was brave enough to stop the two Pro, he would be the hero here and put everyone out of their misery.
****
"D'ya now what present I can get Deku for his birthday?"
Bakugou growled at him and leveled him with a suspicious glare. If the idiots weren't going to man up, Kouta was going to play dirty. That was why he went to find Dynamight after the morning class.
"The fuck does it matter to you?"
Ah, the jealousy… Kouta didn't falter.
"I wanna impress him… I plan to confess and spend his birthday with him." He retorted with a monotonous voice. He was such a bad actor, oh my god...
Dynamight's face went from normal, to white then red of anger in seconds. His look was venomous.
"Tch! As if Deku would be interested in a shitty extra like you", he snarled.
Kouta gave him his best sardonic smile.
"And you know that how? He can date anyone he wants. And it’s probably gonna happen soon… if not with me, at least three of my classmates have a crush on him. Not difficult not to, to be honest. He's quite a catch."
Sparks popped in Dynamight's tighten fists. The man was fuming with rage. Kouta found it just a little bit satisfying (sue him, the pining was so awful he didn't feel like having mercy).
"Whatever, I plan to confess tomorrow so I don't really care what you say" he concluded and rushed out of the room. Safety first right? The sound of a deafening explosion echoed in the hallway and Kouta sneered.
Ok so, the trap was set. Now he needed to wait.
*****
Thankfully, he didn't wait long. In fact, it happened on the very same day. Eri, Katsuma and him were rounding a corner when they saw them.
Dynamight was cradling Deku's face and they were kissing. Hot, passionate kisses. With too much grunting and wet sounds for Kouta's confort. Then Bakugou's hands went to the greenette's butt to fondle it, Deku jumped and threw his legs around the other waist in response. It was expected they wouldn't get the clue about what was an acceptable behavior in public but hopefully, they would settle down a bit to make everybody's life not a living hell.
Either way, at the moment, the three students were too relieved and happy to care.
*******
They SHOULD have care.
Deku and Dynamight getting their shit together meant they didn't have to waltz around each other like lovesick idiots. Meaning the few tiny limits (this point was debatable) they setted for themselves shattered like concrete under Deku's landing when he used his quirk above 50%.
The flirting stopped.
Then came the PDA. And with it, the resolved unresolved sexual tension. They were going at it literally everywhere . In any empty classroom, in the gym’s locker room, in the goddamn forest behind the school .
And Kouta saw away too many naked ass cheeks for his liking in the short span of five days.
So, yeah.
Those who told him studying at U.A. would be the best time of his life would suffer.