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"Valtteri? Can Vati and I have a word please?"
Valtteri looked up as Mark knocked softly on his bedroom room, his head poking round the door frame.
He nodded shyly, glancing between his papa and the open chemistry book in front of him.
"Can I have a minute to just finish this chapter?"
"Of course, we'll be downstairs when you're finished," Mark replied with a grin which Valtteri couldn't help but echo.
He had just turned his attention back to his book when he heard papa's voice again.
"Oh and Val? It's nothing bad, at least we don't think it is."
With that he headed away and Valtteri listened to the sound of him going back downstairs where he could then hear hushed whispers which he knew would be Vati.
He grinned again, Vati was always the more overprotective one out of his two fathers - not to say that papa wasn't, but Vati just took it to another level.
Seb had been the first one that Valtteri had clung to when the two men came to visit the orphanage for the first time. As usual the older kids had been teasing him when Mr Grosjean had lead the two strangers into the room. While Mr Grosjean scolded the other children, Valtteri had taken the moment to sneak away.
Usually the adults would leave him alone, Valtteri knew that he'd passed the age that he would be adopted. Even at six he was considered too old. People wanted a baby or toddler, not a six year old who'd never even gotten as far as the adoption chat. They didn't want someone who had nightmares all the time, who couldn't go five minutes in a car without screaming and not someone who was as quiet as Valtteri was.
That was the complaint of most of the people who came to tour the orphanage - they wanted a kid that still acted like a kid despite their harsh start in life. One that didn’t have any issues and they could pretend was their own right from the get go.
It was funny, most people wanted a child that was seen and not heard. At least that was what he'd been told time and time again from the first orphanage he’d been placed in. Back when he was barely processing the loss of his father, the only family he’d ever known and had been too loud for them to handle. It was only when he was sent to the orphanage run by Mr Grosjean that he heard he was too quiet. He’d never thought that was possible. Mr Grosjean had been the first person Vallteri had felt safe with since losing his father, he made it feel like he wasn’t alone. And he’d helped Valtteri meet his papa and Vati so he’d always be grateful for that.
Valtteri hadn't snuck away as well as he'd thought as Mr Grosjean had lead the two strangers straight to where Val was sat huddled as he tried to escape their eyes. He’d bent down to Valtteri’s height and said that the two men were very excited to meet him and wanted to sit and play if that was alright with him. Valtteri had nodded shyly, barely speaking above a whisper to them that day but they acted like they didn’t care.
Now Vati joked that Valtteri had been saving up his words because it was hard to get him to stop talking but instead of saying it harshly there was a twinkle in his eyes and he’d gather Valtteri close and tell him to never stop talking.
They may not be his blood family, but at this point his fathers were the only ones he could remember and the best he could have ever asked for.
His eyes flicked to the one remaining photo he had from when he was a baby - another present from Papa and Vati, who had somehow hunted down a collection of things in the council's possession that belonged to his birth family. It was him cuddled close in his birth fathers arms, his father looking down at him with the same icey blue eyes Valtteri had with a look of pure love and adoration in them. Sometimes Valtteri wondered what his life would have been like if his father hadn’t gone to work that day, if he’d come home to Valtteri safe and life had continued on as originally planned. But then he’d get stuck in his head too much, thinking about things he couldn't change and it was better to stay in the present - at least that’s what Mr Magnussen liked to say. He was always saying funny things like that when Valtteri would go to his office for their chats every few weeks. When Vati and Papa first adopted him, he went to see Mr Magnussen a lot, every week. But now Mr Magnussen said that Valterri didn’t need him as much. But Valtteri still liked their chats, Mr Magnussen always gave him bigger books to read, more things to learn and think about.
He blinked, biting his lip as he realised he’d finished the chapter without being aware of it. He flicked his eyes back across the page but all of the information was already in his brain so he carefully marked the page and set the book to one side.
As he glanced around his room his papa’s words darted through his mind. It’s not a bad thing, well we don’t think so. What could they want to talk to him about? What was something he might think was a bad thing but they wouldn’t?
Were they moving? He’d heard Vati talking about schools the other night when he crept downstairs for water, and Papa had mentioned new things they could do as a family. Moving would be…well maybe not bad, but also not good.
He liked his school, he liked his friends, he liked the karting track Papa took him too on the weekends. So maybe it was a bad thing. He didn’t want to lose the life he had right now. He liked it too much.
He started down the stairs slowly, he wasn't sure how he was going to react when they broke the news to him. Did he scream and cry and demand that they stay? Did he accept it without a word and accept that he was powerless even in his chosen family? Did it mean that they didn’t care about him like they said?
No that was silly, he thought, of course they cared about him. They wouldn’t suggest moving unless it couldn’t be avoided or if they thought it was for the best.
He paused at the bottom of the stairs, avoiding the creaky last step that would give him away and strained his ears, trying to listen in on his parents conversation.
“...different from last time….younger, more skittish….so different from Valtteri.”
At the mention of his name Valtteri startled and lost his balance, stumbling onto the squeaky step and giving himself away.
“Val?” he heard Vati call out and Valtteri had to bite back a groan. Why couldn’t he have stayed balanced for a few more seconds. Nothing his fathers had said made any sense. What was so different about moving this time around?
He poked his head round the door, subconsciously mirroring his papa from before.
His father's were sitting on the sofa, Seb crossed legged while Mark was curled into his side and a file balanced on his lap. Possible houses? Valtteri thought as he nervously chewed on his lower lip, watching both of his fathers faces.
Vati's softened immediately upon seeing him, the faint tension in his face melting away.
"Val, don't chew your lip," he gently chastised, holding out a hand towards the ten year old.
Valtteri felt his cheeks heating up as he made a conscious effort to release his lip but stepped forward and took hold of his fathers hand. Seb pulled him up onto the sofa, shuffling over to make room for Valtteri to sit squished in between his fathers.
Papa wrapped an arm around Valtteri, holding him close while Seb kept hold of his hand, squeezing it gently. While that normally made him feel safe and secure, for some reason tonight it was making him feel more uneasy. Why did his fathers feel like he needed the security of their touch?
"What did you want to talk to me about? Valtteri asked after a few moments of silence.
He couldn't see it, but from the subtle shifts of their bodies, Valtteri could guess that they'd shared a look over his head.
"Well," Vati began carefully, "It's something we'd like your opinion on Valtteri. We already know what we'd like in this situation but as it concerns you as well we wanted to discuss it with you."
"It's not bad," Papa hastily added as he felt Valtteri tense, running a hand through the soft blond hair.
"Definitely not bad," Vati echoed, squeezing their hands again.
"Are we moving?" Valtteri asked, trying to not let his voice shake and reveal his true feelings about that.
"Huh? No Val we're not moving sweetie," Vati replied, his tone one of surprise. "where'd you get that idea from?"
Valtteri hummed noncommittally as felt a bit of tension ease from his body.
"Why'd you keep saying it's not bad?" Valtteri questioned, twisting round to look at his fathers.
He watched as they shared another look and Papa sighed softly.
"It's… a change," he answered slowly, "and we're quite far along in our decision but we don't want to make you feel like we don't care about your opinion."
Vati chuckled, trailing a finger over Vals cheek, "I think we're confusing him Mark."
Valtteri felt his cheeks heating up again, obviously he hadn't been able to hide his feelings as well as he thought.
"Here Val, look at this," Vati moved the folder so it was laying on Valtteri's lap.
"This," he said as he flipped it over, "this is Lance. He's four, only turned it last month, and we'd like to adopt him."
Valtteri froze as he stared down at the pictures of a small, curly haired child. There were only two in the folder, one of the child - of Lance - by himself, staring wide eyed up at the camera, swimming in an oversized jumper and the second balanced on the hip of a familiar figure.
"Is that-?" he asked, pointing towards the figure and Vati nodded.
"Yeah that's Romain, Lance was moved to his orphanage a few months ago, that's how we came to find out about him."
Valtteri nodded robotically but his mind was spiralling. This was way worse than moving.
Did this mean that Vati and Papa had gotten sick of him? They always talked about how nice it was, just the three of them and now, suddenly they wanted to add someone else. Someone who was cuter and younger and would need more attention and care, and then Val would get forgotten about. It was always the way in the orphanage, even if Romain tried his best to avoid it. The younger ones always needed extra help, which was to be expected, but it always hurt when you got brushed off by one of the adults. He trusted his fathers but at the same time he’d experienced it before so he knew it was coming.
"Yeah it was completely by chance that Seb was there the day Lance arrived," Papa chimed in, seemingly oblivious to the anguish that Valtteri was feeling.
What did I do wrong? Val thought as he continued to stare down at the pictures, eyes flicking to the biographical information that accompanied it.
First Name - Lance
Second Name - Doe (unknown)
Background - Was found abandoned at the age of 2? at Liège University Hospital. Offered no explanation as to where his parents were and was unsure of his age or last name.
Had several bruises on the legs and arms, a partially healed radius.
All efforts to locate his family were unsuccessful, as such Lance was taken into care of the Province of Wallonia. Eligible for adoption.
"Val? Honey, you're being very quiet. Can you tell me what's going on in that brain of yours huh?" Vati carded a hand through his hair as he gently nudged him.
Valtteri felt his stomach twist as he opened and closed his mouth without saying anything.
"Val?" It was papa this time, tightening his arm around Valtteri's shoulders.
He opened his mouth to respond, to try and force something out but instead he heard a loud choking sound and felt tears springing to his eyes.
"Oh Val-"
"Shit!"
"Mark! Don't swear in front of him!"
"But he's upset."
The clamour of his fathers voices rushed over him as they both clutched at him, drawing him into tight hugs.
"Ignore the word your papa said then Val, you're never to repeat it."
"God Seb I'm sorry, it just surprised me."
"No reason to fuc-fudging swear."
"Hey you-"
"Doesn't count Mark."
Valtteri giggled, despite the moisture running down his cheeks, sniffing hard as he dragged the back of hand across his face.
"Here Val, hold on," Papa shifted out from behind him, moving to crouch in front of the settee and pulling a tissue out of his pocket. He gently wiped the tears away and held the tissue to Vals nose.
"Blow," he instructed, bopping Valtteri's nose as he pulled away.
"Come ere," he whispered, leaning forward and pulling Valtteri into a tight hug, running his hand up and down Valtteri's back.
Valtteri felt Vati stroking a hand through his hair as he relaxed into his papas arms.
"You didn't do anything wrong Val," Papa's voice disturbed the quiet moment and Valtteri felt himself tense slightly before relaxing fully into the hugs again. Of course his father knew what he was thinking.
"This isn't because you're not enough, we would have happily been our little family of three forever, but Lance just seems to fit a hole we didn't even know existed. We didn't go looking for another child, it kinda just happened." Papa continued, pulling back ever so slightly so he could look Valtteri in the eye.
"We love you so much, and that's never going to change. You know that right?"
Valtteri nodded, “I just… it’s just you’ve never mentioned wanting to adopt again,” he whispered.
“I know, like Papa said we weren’t looking for it,” Vati chimed in, “But Lance arrived at the home when I was volunteering and I can't describe it Val, I just fell in love.”
Valterri frowned as he looked back down at the file. It stated Lance was a ward of Wallonia.
“How did he end up here?” he questioned and papa’s face fell at the words.
“Lance uh…he hasn’t had a good start to life Val. The home he was in in Belgium wasn’t a very good one and so they arranged for him to move to Romain's.”
“But it’s a different country?”
“Yeah Val, It’s not an ordinary situation. The home in Belgium got shut down and they needed to find places for all the kids. It was just chance that Lance ended up here.”
Valtteri nodded, taking in the information. He could read between the lines. Even though he’d only lived with Mr Grosjean, he heard stories from the other kids who passed through the doors and he felt something twist in his stomach as he looked down at the photos again. It just confirmed his fears that Lance was going to need extra attention though, and he had to be prepared to not be the centre of his fathers worlds anymore.
“So when does he arrive?”
“Not until you meet him and you’re okay with it. Val look at me,” he shifted to look at Vati who took hold of his hands and squeezed gently. “We will not proceed with this unless you’re okay with it. Do you understand? You’re still our first priority. If this is going to hurt you we won’t go any further, understand?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure?” Papa added.
“I’m sure,” he nodded.
“Okay, I want you to promise that you’ll speak to us if anything changes, okay?” Valtteri nodded again, snuggling back into the settee.
“The next step would be introducing you to him. But we can talk about that later, right now let's get some dinner going, how does pasta sound?”
“With the turkey meatballs?”
“Yeah we’ve got some turkey mince, but I’ll need my little sous chef to help,” Vati grinned, hoisting Valtteri up onto his hip as he stood up with a groan. “Ugh you’re getting big, kulta.”
He bumped Valtteri round onto his back and headed towards the kitchen, keeping up a mindless stream of chatter as he placed Valtteri on the bar stool and started pulling out the ingredients. He saw Papa hovering in his peripheral vision, not getting involved just watching. Meal times were always Val and Vati’s time, Papa always taking a backseat.
I wonder if they’ll want Lance to be involved with this? Whether or not he’ll lose his time with his fathers. He wasn’t heartless, he didn’t want Lance to be alone, especially not if he’d had a rough start to life - no he would never wish foster care on anyone, even as nice as Mr Grosjean was, it wasn’t a substitute to a real family. But by Lance coming here would he lose his family?
If he was quieter that even then his fathers didn’t really mention it, they held him a little bit closer as they watched TV that night but they didn’t bring up the topic of Lance again.
…………………………………………………
“Okay Val, we’re here," Vati called over his shoulder as he turned the engine off, the car falling into silence.
Valtteri stared out the window, he hadn't been back to the home since he'd been adopted nearly five years ago. From the outside it hadn't changed a bit. The same grey stone front, the same front wall that needed repairing and the same swings and slides that Valtteri had played on.
He'd spent a lot of time on those swings, keeping to himself when the visitors came or even just when he needed some alone time. Swings had been one of the first things Vati and Papa had brought for him, his fathers recognising how much Valtteri enjoyed being on them.
He'd probably have to share them now, he thought bitterly. No doubt Lance would want to play on them all the time. Another thing that he'd lose out to when the adoption got finalised.
Mild attachment disorder. That was what Mr Magnussen had suggested at his last session. It was the first time in a long time that he'd called Vati into the room towards the end of the session. In Mr Magnussen's words it was nothing to be concerned about, and in fact he would have been more concerned if Valtteri wasn't showing any attachment issues. He said the main thing to do moving forward was to communicate. Obviously Valtteri had lost his first family, and he equated the adoption of Lance to losing another family. Valtteri had protested that, saying that he knew he wasn't losing his father's, that he knew they wouldn't love him less. But at some prompting he admitted he was concerned about them not having enough time for him when Lance arrived. At that Mr Magnussen had suggested they address these concerns with Papa as well, and have a family session - something that Vati had quickly agreed to.
Valtteri wasn't especially looking forward to that. It made him feel like he was being selfish. Vati and Papa had given him everything he could have hoped for, they were amazing fathers. And they were looking to help another child the way they helped him, and Valtteri was making it harder.
"Val? Are you ready?"
Valtteri startled, and glancing to his left he saw the car door open and Papa crouching down to Valtteri's height.
He nodded, unclipping his belt and sliding out of the car.
He hesitated for a brief second but grabbed hold of his papas hand.
Papa smiled at him and squeezed his hand as he stood up, brushing a kiss against Valtteri's temple.
Vati came round and took hold of Valtteri's other hand and together the group made their way towards the front door.
It opened before they reached it and Romain beamed at them from the doorway.
"Valtteri! Mon Dieu you've gotten so big," he cried, stepping forward to embrace Valtteri.
Valtteri stumbled into the hug, letting out a sigh as Romain's arms wrapped around him. It took him back to being the frightened four year old when he'd go to Romain crying after a nightmare or seeking reassurance after another family passed by him.
After his Papa and Vati, he always thought Romain gave the best hugs.
"Mon dieu you've grown," Romain said again as he pulled back.
"It has been five years," Val replied as he retreated back to his father's who watched him with soft smiles.
"It has, I can't believe it," Romain shook his head, "looks like it's been a good five years for you though."
Valtteri grinned back, nodding happily.
"Yeah good to see you too Romain," Papa quipped causing the three adults to laugh.
"Ah yeah Seb and Mark, nice to see you as well," Romain replied. "Well I know why you guys are here, so why don't we head inside. Lance has just woken up from his nap so it's perfect timing."
Valtteri felt his stomach twist at the words. At the reminder of what they were there to do.
He was meeting Lance for the first time. And it was one of the last steps before the adoption would be finalised.
Romain headed back inside and Valtteri felt Papa urging him forward, a hand on his shoulder to guide him forward.
He felt like he was building this moment up in his head more than he should be. After all, all he was really doing was meeting a four year old.
Still maybe it was the memories of being back in the orphanage that was making it worse.
Romain led them towards the living room at the back of the house, the same place that had always been used as the formal meeting area for potential adoptions. It still had the kids' toys dotted around but it was separate from the main playroom, making it a private space for family time.
It was the same room where Vati and Papa had told him that he was coming home with them that day.
And now it was the place where he was meeting his new brother. Because at the end of the day, no matter what he thought privately, he wasn't going to allow a kid to live in the orphanage when he could be living with Seb and Mark and have the opportunity to have them as fathers.
Romain gestured for them to make themselves at home and disappeared to get Lance.
“What if he doesn’t like me?” Valtteri whispered as he fiddled with his sleeve, staring at the wooden dollhouse that he and Vati and Papa had played with for hours.
"Of course he'll like you schatz," Vati reassured, bending down to cup Valtteri's face. "There's nothing not to like."
"What your Vati said. It'll be fine Val, but you've got to tell us if you need a moment," Papa echoed, crouching down on Valtteri's other side.
"Hey hey hey," Romain called, knocking on the door as he did, "who's ready to meet one tired toddler."
Valtteri spun around, feeling something twinge in his heart as he took in the small boy cuddled close to Romain's side, half covered in a knitted patchwork blanket.
"Oh hello little guy," Vati cooed, reaching his arms out to take Lance and Romain happily transferred the toddler.
Lance wasn't so happy about the move, letting out a shrill cry and trying to clutch onto Romain. Romain stayed close but didn't take hold of Lance again, instead choosing to run a hand down the toddler's arm trying to soothe him without taking him back.
Lance squirmed in Seb's arms despite the soothing words and gentle bounces, tears beginning to appear in his eyes.
"Hey Lancey, what's with the waterworks?" Mark called, moving to stroke a hand down Lance's back.
Lance just whined again, finally seeming to calm down and he blinked up at Mark with a wide eyed expression as he started sucking his thumb.
"Uh no, we don't do that," Seb lightly chastised as Mark gently pulled the thumb away. "Romain, does he have a pacifier or something?"
The Frenchman muttered the affirmative and disappeared out the door, leaving the small family alone.
Meanwhile Seb had moved to sit on the small settee, settling Lance on his lap, making sure the blanket was still draped around him. The toddler was stiff against the German, fingers wrapped tight in the edge of the blanket, not moving to cuddle into Seb's chest.
"Val, why don't you come and sit next to me honey?" Vati called and Val swallowed nervously but headed over, hovering next to his father.
"Here buddy," Val found himself lifted up onto Papa's lap as his other father settled onto the settee.
Val curled one hand in his Papa's shirt as he looked over at Lance.
The younger boy hadn't moved from his position, a scared expression on his face as he stared at Valtteri before whimpering and ducking his head down.
Valtteri frowned at the action, biting his lip as he reached out a hand towards Lance's.
The toddler flinched harshly as Valtteri's hand touched his, letting out a cry and Valtteri jumped back in shock, almost falling from his papa's lap.
"Woah Lance, shhhhh sweetheart," Vati soothed as Valtteri felt tears pricking the back of his own eyes in sympathy, seeing the moisture shining in Lance's. "Shh darling, that's just Valtteri, it's your older brother. It's okay, he won't hurt you."
Lance sniffled, peeking out past the blanket watching Valtteri wearily.
"Hi," Val whispered, giving a small wave, "sorry for making you jump."
Lance nodded slowly, eyes darting from Valtteri's face to papas and back again. "H-hi," Lance mumbled back.
He saw Vati's face relaxing at the words a soft smile appearing on his face and he bounced his knee, drawing out a tiny giggle from Lance.
"Ah ha, that's the little giggle we love," Papa laughed, slowly reaching past Valtteri to offer his hand to Lance.
Lance hesitantly took hold of one of the fingers, as he relaxed back against Seb slightly.
"Well that's a better sight," Romain called from the doorway. "Look at you, smiling and everything," he added as he crossed into the room and gently tussled Lance's hair. The boy tensed momentarily, Valtteri seeing the way his grip tightened on papa's finger as Romain reached towards him but he quickly relaxed again.
He murmured a hardly audible thank you as Romain handed him a pacifier.
"Why don't you and Lance have a little play huh? Just while me and your fathers do some boring adult stuff yeah?" Romain suggested and Valtteri saw the way his Vati's eyes narrowed at the words.
He placed a kiss to the top of Lance's curls and gently moved him onto the floor, waiting until Lance was steady on his feet to let go. Lance whined pacifier falling out of his mouth, taking a stumbling step backwards and Valtteri was quick to slide off papa's lap and reach out to steady the younger boy. He was prepared for Lance to flinch away again but this time he didn't. Instead he pressed closer to Valtteri.
He could see that papa was concerned and wanted to draw both of them into a cuddle but he held back.
"Will you two be okay for a few minutes?" he questioned.
"We'll be fine papa," Valtteri replied, tentatively reaching down and taking hold of Lance's hand. The younger boy whined but didn't jerk away. He didn't move his hand at all, leaving it limply in Valtteri's grasp.
Vati ruffled a hand through their hair as he stepped past them. Valtteri watched as his fathers shared a look, sharing a conversation without words before they smiled at the boys again.
"We'll be just round the corner if you need us, and we won't be long. Okay?" Vati checked again.
"Yes Vati, we'll be fine," Valtteri rolled his eyes, drawing a chuckle out of papa who placed a hand on Vati's arm to pull him away.
"Come on Seby, they'll be fine."
"Lance, why don't you show Valtteri your favourite toys hmm?" Romain suggested, gesturing towards the cupboard in the corner as he guided Seb and Mark out of the room.
The room felt so much more silent without his fathers and Valtteri swallowed as he looked down at Lance, suddenly feeling nervous.
Lance avoided his gaze, bringing the edge of the blanket up to chew in it.
"Nuh uh," Valtteri gently tugged on the edges, imitating what he'd seen Vati do. "You'll make it all gross and it's a really nice blanket Lance."
Lance eyed him with what seemed like suspicion and resignation and then held out the blanket.
"You can have it," he whispered, "s'okay."
"But it's yours Lance," Valtteri frowned.
"Yo-you said," Lance stumbled, breaking off, frantically twisting his hands together as he took an exaggerated breath in. "You called it nice," he whispered slowly, "you want it?"
"No no Lance," Valtteri hastily crouched down, "I just said it's nice, you don't have to give it to me. It's yours."
Lance gave a short nod, bringing the blanket close to his chest again, knuckles going white from the strength of his grip.
"Why don't you show me some of the toys Lance? Hopefully there's a few new ones from when I was here," Valtteri took a step towards the cupboard, gesturing for Lance to follow him. The boy made a half move to suck his thumb again but froze, hand hovering in the air as he stared worriedly at Valtteri.
"Oh hang on," Valtteri exclaimed, quickly grabbing the pacifier from the floor and wiping it on his t-shirt. "There, you can have that again," he offered it out to Lance who grabbed it and hurriedly started sucking. His expression relaxed as the rhythmic sound filled the air. It made Lance look years younger, like a real toddler.
Lance must have noticed his staring because he mumbled "'Tank 'ou," around the plastic.
"You're welcome," Valtteri replied, sinking down so he sat crossed legged in front of the dollhouse and held his hand out to Lance.
The toddler ignored it but joined Valtteri on the floor, fingers still twisting in the blanket.
Well at least I know Vati and Papa didn't pick him because they wanted a perfect child, Valtteri thought, immediately feeling horrified with himself. He shook his head, trying to will the thoughts away but they continued to swirl around his mind.
He'd probably be too shy to immediately try and steal them from me.
He bit down hard on his lip, feeling guilty. How could he be enjoying Lance's trauma that left him this shy and untrusting? So different to the other children he knew.
And Valtteri wanted to change that. He wanted to make Lance smile again, like he had when Vati had bounced him. He still didn't like how his family was going to change but it wasn't Lance's fault. Lance deserved a family as well.
"I used to play with this when I lived here," Valtteri stated as he opened the front of the dollhouse, grinning as he saw the same dolls and furniture that had been there all those years ago. "I used to sit and imagine this was my house, with my family and I'd make up how our lives would be."
He glanced over at Lance seeing him watching him but Lance quickly looked away.
"I always imagined the perfect family and when Vati and Papa took me home I was so happy, that my daydreams were actually coming true." He giggled lightly as he picked up one of the dolls, making it walk through the house, keeping up a running commentary for Lance.
"It wasn't quite how I imagined it but honestly I think it's better. Papa works at a karting track - kartings really really fun, I think you'll like it but I don't think Vati will let you do it yet, I only got to start this year. Vati's very protective but he's the best. He's a school teacher but he also owns a coffee shop with Uncle Lewis and Uncle Jenson. They're the best uncles ever! They're always competing to be the best uncle, whenever they drop me home they always ask who I prefer and then pout when I say both of them. I don't think they mind though. And then there's Uncle Nico, he's married to Uncle Lewis and they've got a son called Pascal. He's six so a little older than you but I think you'd get along. Uncle Nico has some really important lawyer job but he always brings us ice-cream so secretly I think he's my favourite." he glanced over at Lance again, smiling when the little boy didn't immediately look away. "Don't tell Uncle Lewis and Uncle Jenson that I said that though," he added, holding a finger up to his lips, his smile growing when Lance copied the motion.
"I good at se-secrets," Lance mumbled around the pacifier, "weally good."
For some reason the words didn't sit right with Valtteri. It was something about how serious Lance looked and Valtteri's smile slipped from his face.
"Anyway, everyone's really nice and I'm sure they're all going to love you," he tried to continue, "and I-"
He broke off as Lance poked his thigh, looking over to see he'd taken the pacifier out of his mouth.
"You okay Lance?"
Lance nodded, worrying his hands in the blanket before speaking in the clearest he had all night.
"Do they hurt you?"
……………………….
Valtteri yawned as he stared up at the ceiling. He felt exhausted but couldn't get his mind to shut off.
It had only been a few days since Lance had officially come home as his little brother - as Lance Vettel-Webber. It was clear Lance didn't feel like it was home. The younger boy still mostly shied away from everyone, including papa and Vati which Valtteri could tell was beginning to concern them. Lance still flinched at any sudden movements or noises which meant they were creeping around, trying not to upset the boy. He also wasn't talking very much, but Valtteri wasn't very surprised by that, considering that Lance had barely spoken during their initial meeting.
Valtteri could tell Lance was beginning to relax slightly but could also recognise that Lance was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Vati and Papa to drop the pretence and act like he expected them too. Because that's how he behaved at first. Even though he'd gotten to know Seb and Mark in the orphanage and knew that Romain would check the potential families before allowing the adoption to proceed, people always acted differently in private.
Valtteri had waited for Vati and Papa to get bored of him and send him back, it had taken a few weeks for Valtteri to truly settle in; but he would guess that Lance was waiting for them to do something worse than just get bored of him.
Neither Vati or papa had divulged what had happened to Lance at the previous home he'd been in but from the flinching and pure terror in his expression when he was gently chastised for something, Valtteri could guess what Lance had been through.
"Do they hurt you?" Lance's question from their first meeting swirled around his mind. He'd been too shocked to answer straight away, not having expected that question from a four year old. Once he'd pulled himself together enough to stop gaping at Lance, ready to pull the toddler into a hug and tell him no one would ever hurt him again Vati, Papa and Romain had come piling back into the room and Lance had shrunk back, shying away from them for the rest of the visit.
Vati and Papa had questioned him about whether something had happened while they'd been out of the room but for some reason Valtteri stayed quiet. If Lance's past was what Valtteri imagined, then Vati and Papa were well aware and they didn't need the extra stress.
Lance asking something like that would only hurt them further.
Unfortunately Valtteri hadn't managed to grab a spare second alone with Lance to reassure him. Despite his protests, Vati and Papa had made him go school as usual and they were always around when he got home, or he was spending a few extra hours with Uncle Lewis and Uncle Nico while they tried to settle Lance.
Today had been one such day, Uncle Nico picking him up from school and taking him to their favourite ice cream shop. While he tried to stop Pascal from dumping his orange sorbet over his head he'd told Valtteri that Lance had had a particularly hard day and that Vati and Papa didn't want to distress Valtteri. Of course the news had distressed him because even though he hadn't said it out loud to Lance, Valtteri had vowed to protect him. It was his duty as a big brother. He had to make sure Lance was okay, and right now he wasn't.
Valtteri yawned again as he sat up, scrubbing a hand through his hair. Maybe a glass of water would help him get to sleep? Pushing the covers to one side he swung his legs over the side of the bed and slid his feet into his slippers. Stumbling across the room, he pulled on the dressing gown from the back of his desk chair. Stepping out into the hall he carefully crept towards the stairs but a brief whimper made him freeze. His head swivelled to look at Lance's room, the door slightly cracked open so that Vati and Papa would be able to hear him if he had a nightmare. The soft glow of his nightlight barely reaching the hallway was the only light. Valtteri internally shuddered as he remembered the tantrum that Lance had had on his first evening when they’d tried to settle him for bed in a dark room. The screaming and thrashing which had led to the toddler vomiting all over Papa, which only made him worse. Valtteri had cowered in the corner as Lance beat his fists against Papa's chest as he tried to clean him up, still screaming and sobbing loudly. In the end Vati called Uncle Lewis, sending Valtteri away for the night so he wouldn't be disturbed further. Valtteri had spent a few hours cuddling between Uncle Lewis and Uncle Nico while he cried out his frustrations. Vati and Papa had apologised constantly the next day, and explained it as Lance's fear of the dark but Valtteri had seen the concern in their eyes. He hadn't seen the concern fade yet.
He frowned, listening for a second but when no over noise came, he shrugged and turned to move down the stairs. Just as he did, the whimper came again. Louder this time and Valtteri glanced towards his father's room before going to Lance's.
"Lance?" he whispered, carefully pushing the door open a little more. "Are you okay?"
A louder whine greeted him and as his eyes adjusted to the slightly brighter light he gasped as he saw Lance pressed up against the wall, knees held to his chest, the duvet gathered around him. It was clear he'd been crying, the tear tracks pale against his tanned skin. Lance let out a sob as he locked eyes with Valtteri, staring at him in pure fright.
"Lance?" Valtteri questioned again, taking half a step into the room but then glancing over his shoulder, wondering if he needed to wake his fathers.
"No," Lance whispered, "no no no no," he muttered, hands gripping his forearms tighter, nails digging in.
Valtteri darted forward, ignoring the flinch from Lance and closed his hands over Lance's.
"Hey hey don't hurt yourself, it's okay," Valtteri soothed, gently taking Lance's hands into his own, squeezing them lightly.
"Do you want me to get Vati or pa-"
"No," Lance cried out, "no go, no leave" he sobbed.
"Shhh Lance, it's okay, okay I won't go, it's okay," Valtteri whispered, slowly moving to join Lance on the bed, wrapping an arm around him.
"It's okay, Lance, I promise."
The younger boy was tense against Valtteri's side but he wasn't trying to move away, which Valtteri was counting as a win.
"What's wrong?" he questioned after a moment, silence falling between the two.
"Can't you sleep?" he tried again and this time felt Lance stiffen slightly.
"Bad things happen at night," Lance mumbled, "Boogeymen come out at night."
"Like nightmares?"
"No. Real. They hurt," Lance inisited, "in the dark no one sees, no one cares. Dark is bad."
"Lance…" Valtteri breathed, horror filling him at the words.
"That's never going to happen again," Valtteri stated, pulling Lance further into his side, "whatever happened to you back then will never happen again. I won't let it, and neither will Vati or Papa."
"Pwomise?" Lance whispered.
"Promise," Valtteri whispered back. "Here I'll pinky promise it as well."
"What's a pwinky pwomise?"
"It's sacred Lance, I can never ever break it," Valtteri shifted so he and Lance were laying face to face. He carefully picked up Lance's hand, brought it up in front of their faces and twisted their pinky fingers together. Lance watched with an awed expression, mouth forming a little o shape.
"I'll never let the bogeyman hurt you again Lance, I'll never let anyone hurt you again. Do you trust me?"
Lance nodded and Valtteri smiled.
"You're safe with us Lancey, with me, with Vati and Papa. You'll never be alone again. We're family now."
"Family," Lance whispered back, moisture appearing in his eyes again but he didn't look unhappy.
Valtteri pulled the covers up, pulling Lance closer so the younger boy's head was resting against Valtteri's chest.
"Sleep now Lance, I'll protect you," he whispered as he stroked a hand through Lance's curls. The younger boy let you a soft sigh, hand curling in Valtteri's shirt as his body relaxed.
"I'll protect you," Valtteri muttered to himself as his eyes drifted shut, breathing deepening as he joined his brother in sleep.
……………………………..
Seb groaned as he was greeted by sunlight directly into his eyes.
Must have forgotten to close the curtains all the way, he thought as he groaned again, rolling over so he was facing away.
He stretched his arm out, searching for Mark and grinned as he hit something, drawing a groan out of his husband.
"Sebbb, bugger off, it's too early," Mark whined, intertwining their hands and pulling Seb across the bed.
Seb yawned, curling into Mark's side, "Shh and just go back to sleep, let's enjoy it."
"It's quiet," Mark stated, drawing another groan from Seb.
"It would be if you stopped talking," he muttered, letting his eyes slip shut again.
"Maarrk," Seb whined as his husband sat up.
"Seb shit, it's nine o'clock and we're still asleep."
"Shit!" Seb cried, adrenaline flooding his body as he pushed himself up. Mark was already jumping off the bed, swearing as his foot got stuck in the sheets causing him to bang into the wardrobe.
"Shit shit," Seb muttered as he followed the Australian, pushing past him and stumbling into the hall.
The house was quiet. And for a house with two boys, that was not normal. There wasn't even any noise from downstairs. No TV, no laughing, no nothing. And that was what scared Seb the most.
Valtteri's room was closest and Seb swore again when he saw the room was empty.
Turning around he saw Mark hovering at the door to Lance's room, and quickly joined his husband.
Slowly Mark pushed the door open and Seb felt the fear drain from his body, sagging against Mark as the Australian dropped his head onto Seb's.
There were his two boys, curled around each other, completely dead to the world.
"Oh thank fuck," Mark whispered, pressing a kiss against Seb's hair.
Seb let a deep breath out as he pushed away from Mark, walking towards the bed.
He smiled softly as he carded a hand through Valtteri's hair, and stroked a finger down Lance's cheek. He looked so innocent when he was sleeping, he looked peaceful for the first time in days. Ever since they'd brought Lance home he'd been second guessing the decision. Not because they didn't love Lance. But because of how Lance had been acting. He knew the adjustment period could be difficult, they'd gone through it with Valtteri but Lance was entirely different. Which they should have expected, they'd read Lance's file. They knew what he'd gone through, and knew there was more that they didn’t know about. Seb had begun to doubt if they were the best thing for Lance, tried to hide the hurt he felt when Lance refused to be held but now he felt his mind settle.
Of course he could count on Valtteri.
"Vati?" Valtteri's soft voice caught his attention and he bent down to kiss his son's forehead.
"Shh baby, you can sleep a little longer if you'd like."
Valtteri muttered something but Seb's attention switched to his other son as Lance's eyes blinked open.
"Hey Lancey, good sleep sweetie?"
"Hng hmm yeah," Lance mumbled, "Val keep bad men away."
"Yeah he's good at that," Mark chimed in, joining Seb next to the bed and placing a calming hand on the small of Seb’s back. It killed him to hear Lance say things like that, and knew it killed Seb as well.
“Hey champ,” he greeted as Valtteri yawned, instinctively tightening his arms around Lance as the younger wriggled.
“Val, need to go,” Lance whispered, lightly pushing at Valtteri’s arms.
“Uh oh, come on Val, make space for the little monkey,” Mark teased, hands going under Valtteri’s armpits to shift him away.
Lance whined at the loss of contact, pouting as he looked over at Seb. He hesitated only briefly before holding his arms out in the universal signal to be held.
Seb wasted no time pulling Lance into his arms. It was one of the few times that Lance was actually asking to be held, but Seb would never be able to say no to his little boy.
Lance yawned as Seb stood up, resting his head in the crook of Seb’s neck.
“Comfy baby?” Seb crooned as he gently bounced Lance.
“Comfy papa,” Lance mumbled, and Seb squeaked at the name, pressing a kiss to Lance's temple.
He grinned brightly at Mark who gathered Valtteri into his arms and joined his husband, expertly balancing Val on his hip so he had a free arm to wrap around Lance and Seb.
“My perfect little family,” Mark whispered, leaning across to peck Seb on the lips, the German sighing into the kiss.
“Family,” Lance whispered.
“Family,” Seb echoed, “forever.”