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Boys will be boys

Summary:

When Hanta swings open the door like he’s gotten used to doing ever since Todoroki had told him it was alright to do so, he knew he’d be walking into a compromising sight. He expected one of them to be in a headlock, or maybe Bakugou holding Todoroki in a chokehold. There’s also a chance he’d find Todoroki testing out one of the moves Uraraka had taught him earlier this week. But the sight he walks in on is so far removed from what his brain could ever conjure up that he freezes up like Todoroki had just used his quirk on him.
or
Sero was just planning to enjoy his Saturday night but TodoBaku scar him for life instead.
This is kind of like a prequel to my fic Uh, I think we got out wires crossed

Notes:

Felt like writing more crack so here it is lol! A little one-shot, prequel action 😗
Have fun!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It’s one of those rare Saturday nights Hanta decides that he wants to spend it holed up in his room listening to his favorite bops while reading his favorite manga and eating his favorite buttery snack. Everyone knows he’s absolutely a people person, even if Denki is more obvious about it than he is, but even he needs quality alone time now and then.

The class had just finished eating dinner and had decided to have a movie night. It was a film he’d watched several times already so he, along with a handful of others, opted out for the night to head back to their rooms. As far as he knows, his floor is empty, the rest of his floor-mates staying downstairs for the late-night movie fun. That gives him plenty of quiet and peace to enjoy the night the way he wants, and boy has he been looking forward to a chill night like this.

Oh, how he thought too soon.

Not even ten minutes later, just as he’s reaching for more popcorn from the bowl, flipping a page of his manga, there’s a loud bang as a door slams shut. It’s loud enough for him to know that it’s Todoroki’s room door. He quickly takes out one of his earbuds to listen to see if it’s some kind of intruder.

“You think you’re some kinda big shot now huh, Icyhot?” he hears Bakugou’s muffled voice snarl through the walls.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Todoroki responds in monotone. Okay good no intruders, just two dumbasses going at it again.

“Ever since you won the Sports festival this year, you’ve gotten a really big head you know that?”

Hanta keeps only one earbud in his ear as he continues reading and munching on popcorn, adding the Todoroki/Bakugou banter to his variety of entertainment for the night. Their verbal battles can honestly be amusing sometimes, with Bakugou’s passionate and crude yelling while Todoroki just counters them all smoothly without even changing his tone once. It’s incredible really. But he also wants to make sure neither ends up biting the other’s head off in the process.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve been the same as ever, Bakugou.”

“Bullshit! These days you always try to make it a whole scene whenever you manage to kick my ass in training. What you did today was completely just for the fucking theatrics! You think winning one damn medal gives you the fucking right to act that way?!”

“I think it gives me every right, actually.” Ah, there’s the teasing tone coming into play. Hanta waits for the sound of Bakugou’s hand-fireworks.

Surprisingly, there are none. But he hears the sound of a thud and he thinks he hears scuffling on the other side of the wall.

“Fuck you!” comes Bakugou’s voice, sounding slightly out of breath.

“Oh, is that so?” Todoroki’s voice also sounds a bit labored.

The voices are replaced with the sound of muffled...wrestling?

Hanta pinches the bridge of his nose, exasperated. Are you freaking kidding? Of all the places they could duke it out they choose the dorms? At least Midoriya and Bakugou had the sense to kick the crap outta each other once they were outside in their first year.

“I am gonna fuck you up right here right now, bitch. Fucking get ready.” Bakugou sounds really out of breath now, and so does Todoroki when he says–

“I’ve been ready, Blasty just waiting on you.”

“Don’t encourage that fucking name!”

“Would You rather I call you…Katsuki?”

A brief silence and more scuffling.

“F-fuck you, asshole!”

“You need better comebacks, Katsuki.”

“Yeah? I’ll fucking show you a comeback, Shouto,”

Hanta thinks about the saying ‘boys will be boys’. This is what that was referring to, he thinks. While it was more common to see Bakugou and Midoriya always locked in some kind of rivalrous fracas these days, the latter no longer worried about just punching back much to Bakugou’s secret delight, Todoroki was usually too smart to take his bait. But sometimes…sometimes everyone’s favorite Petty-roki comes to play and there’s no stopping him. He’s started having a little too much fun joining in on the occasional ruckus. If Bakugou was the master of provocation, Todoroki was the king, specifically when it came to the former.

There’re more noises indicating the ongoing brawl on the other side.

“That all you got, bastard?” Bakugou huffs.

“I have to hold back so that I don’t overwhelm you like last time.”

“What’d you say!?”

“Stop pulling my hair like that, it hurts.”

“You didn’t complain last time.”

Hanta is only a bit confused; their banter is a bit–different than usual but he can’t pinpoint exactly what. Also, usually when they fight, they fight, and there’s not a lot of talking involved. This scuffle seems to include a lot more…verbal abuse than normal this time and he can sense that it’s all going to escalate soon. As the unofficial Bakugou wrangler, he feels the obligation to put an end to the fight before the dorm blows up, especially since it seems Todoroki currently has the upper hand from the sounds of it.

But he also knows Bakugou hates when people get into his business, no matter how stupid and immature his business is.

After more thuds and grunts from the other side, he decides it’s time to step in to avoid further damage. Maybe he’ll pretend to lend Todoroki a manga (he actually does have one he’s been meaning to recommend) and interrupt their brawl so that they can cool down. He takes the other earbud out and hangs the wires over his shoulders, stuffing his phone into his pocket, and picks up the chosen manga, walking out of his door to the one right next to his.

 

When Hanta swings open the door like he’s gotten used to doing ever since Todoroki had told him it was alright to do so, he knew he’d be walking into a compromising sight. He expected one of them to be in a headlock, or maybe Bakugou holding Todoroki in a chokehold. There’s also a chance he’d find Todoroki testing out one of the moves Uraraka had taught him earlier this week. But the sight he walks in on is so far removed from what his brain could ever conjure up that he freezes up like Todoroki had just used his quirk on him.

The last thing he expected to see–or ever wanted to see– is one of his best friends straddling his other good friend and long-time dorm neighbor who was balls deep inside said best friend, and both naked as the day they were born right in the middle of the room on a futon.

The two heads snap to face his, and the three of them stare in shock at each other for what feels like an eternity.

What. The. Fuck.

(Actually, don’t answer that question.)

“Uh,” Todoroki starts.

“This isn’t what it fucking looks like!” Is Bakugou’s only well-thought-out response.

Hanta quickly slams the door shut and fucking bolts back into his room; he hears Bakugou’s muffled cursing and Todoroki’s low muttering as he leaves.

He tries his best to pretend that the last few minutes never really happened and that it was all just a weird trip his brain decided to take for whatever reason. Yeah, that’s it.

He puts his headphones back on and turns the music volume up to full, and stuffs his mouth full of popcorn to aid in drowning out any other possible sounds or images his brain tries to replay against his will.

He almost succeeds in forgetting the whole thing until there’s a knock on his door about five minutes later.

He knows who it is and he doesn’t think he can look either of them in the eyes right now so he chooses to ignore it.

“Don’t fucking make me break this door down, asshole, you know I will!”

Unfortunately, that’s all it takes to convince Hanta.

He sighs and heads over to the door. Maybe it’s better if they all just…acknowledge the incident and move on. Just rip the metaphorical band-aid that is honest situational confrontation and go on with their lives.

He opens the door only a bit hesitantly to find the couple standing there, thankfully dressed this time, but their faces are still flushed and hair sex-mussed. Why was this happening right now.

He decides to get the first word in before the fuming gremlin in front of him can.

“Why didn’t you lock the door?” is what he asks immediately. A valid question.

“We fucking thought you were downstairs with everyone watching the shitty movie!”

“Also, we just forgot,s” Todoroki adds.

“Shut up, I’m doing the talking.”

“Doesn’t seem fair.”

Bakugou turns to bicker with Todoroki and Hanta rolls his eyes. He clears his throat t get their attention and they turn back to him.

“Not gonna lie, I’m fucking scarred for life, man,” he says with humor, although it’s mostly true.

“Why’d you fucking come in anyway?” Bakugou asks, crossing his arms.

“I wanted to give Todoroki a manga!” he gestures to it now sitting on his bed. He’s not going to mention the breaking up the fight part. Which, turns out, was not even a fight at all. Well…yeah, no, not going there.

“Couldn’t you knock first!?”

“That’s actually on me, I told him to come in without knocking whenever he wants unless I specifically text him not to.” Todoroki supplies.

“That’s fucking stupid! But if that’s your thing, why didn’t you text him!?”

“Because I thought he was still downstairs too.” Pause. “And, I forgot.”

“Fucking– of course it’s all your damn fault.”

“Well, you’re the loud one so maybe–“

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Guys, oh my gosh, just stop for a second!” Hanta snaps before they can keep going on and on. (Apparently, that’s what gets them off. He doesn’t know what he’s gonna do with that information now).

“Sorry,” Todoroki’s says and Bakugou just grumbles.

“All right, as much as I wish I could pull out my eyeballs and boil the living hell out of them and carve out the image now branded in my retinas for the rest of time–“

“Fucking dramatic…” Bakugou says under his breath.

Hanta sharply jabs a finger into Bakugou’s chest which takes him by surprise. “You don’t get to make comments about that, Mr. ‘I’m gonna fuck you up right here right now.’ Bakugou flushes bright red but keeps his mouth shut while Todoroki just muffles his laughter behind him.

Hanta exhales. “So, as far as I can tell this…thing is a secret right?”

They both nod.

“And you want me to keep quiet about it? That’s why you’re here?”

More nods.

“Part of me wants to know why you want to keep this relationship– or whatever a secret but I think I’ve gotten to know a little too much about you two for now. So, I’m not gonna ask questions and I’ll keep your secret.”

Bakugou looks relieved, visibly relaxing and Todoroki just smiles, not seeming to even be really bothered at all in the first place.

“But,” Hanta adds before Bakugou starts to turn around.

They both blink at him.

“But…?” Bakugou asks, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

Hanta grins, drawing out his best inner maniacal Bakugou Katsuki. “You gotta owe me, Blasty. One favor or request, anything or any time, no questions asked. Deal?”

Bakugou looks like he wants to strangle him, which he probably would if he values the secret more than Hanta’s life. But the man’s come a long way and apparently his life did have more value now, thank god. He’s going to keep the secret for them either way, but there’s no harm in taking advantage of the situation; it’ll come in handy one to have the Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight owe you one.

“Fucking–fine! Fine, just don’t tell anyone. Please…” he adds the last word quietly.

“Of course, man! My lips are sealed,” Hanta emphasizes with the gesture.

The two turn back to go to Todoroki’s room and Hanta is about to close his own door when Todoroki quickly peeks in to murmur “I would advise you to keep your headphones on for the next thirty minutes. At least.”

Hanta’s eyebrows fly up his forehead and he can’t help the snort that escapes him. “Uh, yeah okay. Thanks for the heads up.”

And with one final nod, Todoroki disappears again.

Notes:

Yeah, these two take the concept of "fuck like you fight" to a whole other level XD.
Also, Todoroki's room is probably the most ideal for them to get it on in since there's no squeaky bed or headboards thumping the wall, don't you think? 😆
R&R!