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Fiona keeps fidgeting, consciously avoiding eye contact. Nico had never seen her act like that, ever.
Something was really, really off.
— Fi, I’m getting worried. I want to help you, but don’t know how.
She sniffles – sniffles! Aleister! – and shakes her head.
— You don’t get it. I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind.
— Fiona,— he scoots closer to her, slowly grabbing her hand.— You need to tell me what’s going on. You look like a mess. Never seen you like this.
— Well I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve…— she presses both hands into her face.— I don’t know what’s happening to me. I don’t know this feeling. I thought I did, but- It’s nothing like anything I...
Nicodemus stares at her, in silence. She doesn’t make a move to keep talking, and he sighs.
— Maybe if we’d get Ebb-
— No! — Fiona squeezes his hand, and Nico raises his eyebrows.— Don’t. Ebb can’t know about this.
— Can’t know about what, exactly?— he presses.
Fiona finally looks at him, taking a deep breath. Then she closes her eyes, and takes another.
— It’s stupid.
— It’s not. Fiona, nothing that makes you this freaked out’s stupid.
— This is exactly why it is stupid! Fuck, I haven’t even said anything and I’m acting like this- Just so dumb.
— Fiona. ’s fine to be frustrated, or scared, or whatever the fuck you’re feeling, but I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s going on. Not exactly a calming presence, am I, you’ve told me so yourself. If you wanted to not talk about anything and just get a hug, you’d’ve called Ebeneza, but you didn’t. Don’t wanna pressure you, but you clearly had the intent to let something out, and I want to hear it.
She looks down at him, cheeks burning. She’s taller than both of them, Nico and Ebb – hit her growth spurt first. They were just now visibly getting to it, at fifteen, or at least Ebb was. It had always made Fiona feel proud, that she was taller, but now she just wanted to cower.
— Fine. But you have to promise you won’t be an arse about it.
He raises his eyebrows at her – it’s funny, because he clearly only wants to rise one, but he hasn’t figured it out yet.
— Normally I’d say I’m an arse about everything, but alright. Won’t.— he bites the inside of his cheek.— Unless it’s really stupid.
— Nico.
— Okay, no being an arse at all. Now can you tell me?
Fiona closes her eyes and exhales, letting go of Nicodemus’s hand.
— You know that thing that Ebb told us about last week?
Nico immediately frowned.
— You mean the… girl thing?— he grimaces slightly.
— Morgana’s tits, Nicodemus, you can just say lesbian. It was never a problem when you were talking about me.
— Yeah, yeah.— he shrugs.— Just getting used to it, ‘s all.
It’s her turn to make a face.
— Ah, sod that, I’ll just say it- I think I might fancy her. Ebb.
Nicodemus blinks. Once. Twice.
— You what?
She smacks his arm.
— I said, I think I might fancy your fucking sister, you arse.
He just stares at her.
— Ugh, forget it.— Fiona groans and gets up.— It’s a stupid idea, I’ve fancied other people and it was nothing like this- I’m probably just confused since she told us about being gay and- Ugh, I’ll just go, forget about it-
Nico is quick to grab her wrist.
— No, Fiona! Don’t. Sorry. Shouldn't’ve acted like that. Fuck, I didn’t mean- Y’know, was just sort of shocked. It’s not like you to get this worked up over getting a crush, you’re always so chill about it. And I obviously knew you wasn’t straight, but it’s weird to think about you fancying Ebb, of all people. She doesn’t seem like your type at all.
— Yeah.— she sighs, and agrees to sit down again.— It was a shock for me too. Ebb’s coming out and- I just- I don’t know. You just said it- it’s not like me to get all freaked out just because I might fancy someone. I feel so awkward- almost hysterical. I caught myself almost crying over how nervous I was about this- can you imagine, Nico? Me? Just think of how I was behaving five minutes ago. So fucking weird.
He smiles, but doesn’t say anything. She lets out a sigh before she starts talking again.
— But, it’s just- Do you remember what she said? How she started questioning?
It takes Nicodemus a while to catch up
— Said she figured it out because she was pretty sure she fancied someone.
Fiona nods, making a weird face.
— And you think that someone might be you?
— Not exactly,— she chuckles weakly.— I just feel like I might die if it’s not.
Nico smirks.
— Miss Pitch, are you jealous?
— No!— Fiona blushes.— I just- Well, I don’t know, do I? This is so unlike me- I have to be mixing things up, right? I’ve been friends with Ebb for ages, and- I mean, I’ve fancied people before. I’ve kissed people before, I- I’ve never been jealous and- I don’t know what’d be so different about it this time, that I can barely even talk about it. I think about her being with anyone, and it makes me want to scream. And I think about her being with me, and it also makes me want to scream, but in a different way. Nicer.
— Wow, who’d think. Fiona Pitch, head over heels for my little sister.
Fiona scoffs. More for the “little sister” than for the “head over heels” part. He ignores it.
— Does this mean you’re going to confess? You’ve also never done that before, have you?
— No.— she bites her lip.— I want to. But I also want to understand this a bit better before I do. Not even understand, just- take it in, I guess.
— Be at peace with.— Nicodemus teases.
— Oh, sod off.— Fiona rolls her eyes.— You promised not to be an arse, remember?
— I don’t remember to have crossed my heart and hoped to die over not being an arse, no.
— I hate you. I’d have punched you right on the face a long time ago, if I could- You’re lucky I like your sister.
— You loooove heer.
— Aleister Crowley, shut up!