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2022-01-08
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Human tested, elf approved!

Summary:

A human man gets an invitation to an elf facility. He thinks he'll be testing tasty treats, but head of research Ms.Pink has far more delicious things for him to try.

Notes:

For those who aren't aware, Ms.Pink was featured in two Rice Krispy commercials a long time ago, they were to vote on whether the cereal would be pink or stay blue. It was somewhat misinterpreted as some sort of permanent fixture, and was likely rigged anyway. But we got a cute woman out of it, the commercials are still on youtube and @AtomicKingBoo loves to draw her from time to time.

I do not own any of the characters featured in this story and all those portrayed are 18 or older.

Work Text:

The sun shined in the midday sky over the forest, the birds sung and the flowers bloomed on this spring day. On the edge of the forests stood a human man, who had been standing there for three minutes, he looked again at the letter that had brought him hear.

Congratulations! If you have received this, it means you have been invited to the elf and human research facility.

You have been specifically selected to undergo a series of tests for our newest product.

If you agree to accept your invitation, simply sign at the bottom of this letter and bring it to this location.

We hope to see you there!

 

To anyone else this would seem to be an elaborate prank, but elves did in fact exist, and most knew that they tended to keep to themselves. So the idea that there was a facility dedicated to elf and human research was an intriguing one. The location dictated on the card wasn't very far and the man had already signed the letter, but now that he was there, he couldn't help but wonder if this was really a good idea.

Before the matter could be considered further, the forest seemed to shift and move, revealing a path deeper in. The man had come this far, he figured he might as well go further. After a minute of walking the man came across a most unusual sight, it was a series of buildings made of concrete and steel, only the tallest of them reached a foot or two above his own height. Moving along from building to building were the tiny elves that must have worked here, not a one of them looked like they were bigger than seven or eight inches tall, before he could look around further a shout called his attention.

The man looked down to see an elf in a uniform. "You there! You must be here for the tests today, head over to building forty-two in the far corner of the facility and mind your steps." the elf then pointed in the direction of the building.

The man followed the pointed finger and saw one of the larger building on the premises, he then carefully stepped through the thankfully wide streets toward his destination. He passed many a gawking passerby as he made his way, but who wouldn't stare at a giant tiptoeing down the street? The man finally made his way to the aforementioned building, it looked like it could fit accommodate him at his full height, if only barely. He saw two elf women in white uniforms standing outside gargantuan doors, the man walked over and knelt down so they wouldn't have to shout to make themselves heard.

The elf on the right was the first to notice him, she had short red hair with one long bang that covered her right eye, freckles dotted her face around a small pointed nose. "Ohmygosh! Quinn look, it's an actual human man! He must be here for testing!" She was practically vibrating with excitement.

The elf named Quinn looked over at him, she was a blonde with long wavy hair, a rounded nose and a look that conveyed complete disinterest. She spoke in a deadpan manner. "Great, that means we have to actually work today. You must be Mr.Anonymous, I'm Quinn and this is Vivian, or Viv for short."

The man looked at the two. "Um, that's actually not my name."

The tiny blonde's expression didn't change. "It is as long as you're here, boss says it's to keep us from getting "Attached". Come on, they're waiting for you Mr.Anon. In the test chamber." As she said that, the doors behind her started to move, revealing a large chamber with a shrouded object in the center of it.

'Anon' felt a uneasy about all this, but in for a penny he supposed. He slightly ducked in to enter the room as the Viv and Quinn followed him, he looked at the rest of the room. There were a series of small machines in one corner, a stairway that lead to an upper floor that went around the room, which in turn seemed to have a connected observation room, he could see a few silhouetted figures within.

Taking a few steps forward Anon hear crackling from several speakers dotted around the room. "Good day Mr.Anon, I am Ms.Pink, head of research. I welcome you to our highly top secret and confidential facility." Anon looked around and tried to find the source of the voice, he caught a figure walking out from behind the covered object in the center of the room. It appeared that Ms.Pink did indeed fit that name, she was a woman with pink hair that reached just below her shoulders, with a lighter shade that streaked in her hair. She wore a pair of half-moon glasses on her shapely face, along with a headset that was clearly connected to the speakers, coupled with that was a pink business jacket and skirt combo and pink heels to go with it all.

Anon decided to speak up. "Uh hi there Ms.Pink, glad to be here. So what am I testing exactly? Cookies or somthin?"

Ms.Pink stepped forward. "Nothing so basic as that, such things are reserved for the Keebler complex up north. Tell me Mr.Anon, what do you know of intimate elf and human relations?"

Anon shrugged. "They exist?...maybe?" As far as he was aware, Anon hadn't really heard of anything beyond the business deals that elves did with humans, was there more beyond that?.

Ms.Pink nodded. "They do indeed, you see we've come a long way since the days of our ancestors fixing up shoes in the middle of the night. Some of us live in your homes, others in small towns separated from humans. But more of us are around than before, and the barrier between us is thinning, we study ways to ease the process in certain areas. Contrary to what you might think, human and elf couples are more common than you think, they just tend not to advertise themselves."

Anon raised in eyebrow. "That sounds nice I guess, but how intimate can an elf and human be given our differences?"

Ms.Pink's face lit up. "An excellent question! And one that you are here to help answer, Mr.Anon would you be so kind as to unveil our latest project please?" She then gestured to the object covered by a sheet. Curious, Anon did as was asked and tore the sheet off and tossed it into a bare corner of the room, what was revealed was a chair.

But this was a strangest looking chair the human had ever laid eyes on. It was a reclining chair with mesh padding, there were several joints in the arms and legs of the chair, it looked like it could bend and flatten in ways others did not. What really caught his eye was the tiny ladder connected to one of the arm rests, it honestly looked like some warped version of a dentist chair and a dissection table.

Ms.Pink faced the observation room. "Behold our latest invention, we call it Gulliver's Chair. This seat was made in mind for the sole purpose of elf and human sexual relations, designed for maximum pleasure for both parties and minimal risk to us."

Anon blinked."What?"

Ms.Pink turned to face him. "You asked how an elf and human can be intimate? Well this is your answer, as our societies grow closer we must find ways to cross the hurdles of physical limitations. You sir have been selected to test our newest product."

Anon's mind was racing, what kind of lilliputian crackerjack operation was this? "Woah woah there miss, I think you may have got the wrong guy. You want me to test this thing with one of you guys? In front of an audience?" He pointed to the observation deck. "How do you even know I'm even going to be in to this?"

Ms.Pinks expression didn't falter. "For one Mr.Anon, we can't properly test this device without live subjects to use it, for another we have to have a peer review for the chair to help determine if it can go into mass production. Lastly, we made our selection very carefully. You have several Tinkerbell figures in your room, alongside the entire collection of "Bondage Fairies". Your tastes weren't exactly hard to figure out."

Anon's face flushed. "Fine, ya got me. Say I go along with this, who am I supposed to test this with?"

Ms.Pink smiled. "Why we have our two eager lab assistants to assist with that." She pointed to Viv and Quinn, the former bouncing up and down with excitement, the other looking as bored as ever.

Viv looked up at Anon with her eye, a sly grin on her face. "You like tiny women don't you Anon?"

Quinn for her part just folded her arms. "Hurry up and take your damn clothes off, let's get this over with."

Anon looked at the two, then at the chair. This was all sorts of strange that he didn't even want to consider, but if Ms.Pink was right about elves and humans getting closer together, shouldn't he pitch in and do his part? He started to undress, removing his shoes and socks alongside his shirt and then his pants, tossing them a foot away from himself. As he did he saw Viv run over and dive into the discarded garments, he could faintly hear deep sniffs coming from the small woman.

Ms.Pink gave an apologetic smile. "Forgive Vivian, she's been looking forward to something like this for some time, you're the first human man she's ever met in person."

Anon decided to let the matter go, he finally took off his underwear and let his penis out for all to see. As he did so he thought he heard a few oohs and aahs from the observation deck, he was only an above average eight inches, but in his opinion he could have a micro dick and that would still be too much for these women's small bodies. He strode over to the chair, turned and sat inside it's strange shape. It actually felt good on his naked body, soft yet breathable material rested against his skin. He noticed he faced the observation deck, he had a full audience that could see him nude front and center.

Ms.Pink spoke. "Do you feel comfortable Mr.Anon? If you do than we can begin our next steps." Anon nodded in the affirmative. "Excellent! Ladies, we begin with test number one." As she said that she pulled out what looked like a remote control and pressed a button. The moment she did so, two restraints clasped around his wrists, with another two coming across his leg's below his knee.

Struggling not to panic, Anon addressed his possible captors. "Um, ladies? Feeling a little extra vulnerable here."

Ms.Pink made a gesture to Quinn, who went and pulled an aroused looking Viv out of his discarded clothes. The two made their way to the ladder in the arm rest, as they did so Ms.Pink addressed him. "Calm yourself Mr.Anon, what we have here is a safety measure for our sake. Given the size of humans, any inadvertent spasm or reflex that can occur during or after coitus can cause serious injury to elves. The restraints can be lifted by either the elf with the remote, or by the human pressing the right button combinations from the arm of the chair."

Anon looked at the buttons, there were several that looked like they moved the chair in different ways, a few colored ones that looked like they might do as Ms.Pink said. But since he didn't know the combination it was a fat lot of good they did him now. As he thought about his constrained situation, he saw Viv and Quinn climb up on his arm rest, Viv clambering down in-between his legs.

Viv took her arms and hugged his dick and balls, taking a big whiff of his musk. "Ohmygosh Quinn, you've got to get a load of this! This is the greatest day of my life, we get to actually touch a human man and make him cum!" She gave his quickly hardening shaft a few licks and kisses.

As she was engrossed in his junk, Quinn made her way to Viv at a slower pace. "Ugh, you're too excited for this, it's just a big dick, it will shoot cum like any other and who do you think gets to clean that up? Yeah WE do, hurry up and undress and let's get this guy off ok?" Viv managed to pry herself away from Anon's cock, and both started to take off their uniforms. Vivian's body proved to be a lithe one under her outfit, with B cup sized breasts. (Can you apply human cup sizes to elves?) and her freckles spreading all over her body.
Quinn revealed herself to be very curvy with her body, with generous hips and a C cup size. As he watched them undress Anon's dick had finally reached it's full potential.

Viv gave a gasp. "Is that because of us?! You think we're that hot? Oh Anon, we are going to blow your mind." She climbed on top of his shaft, pressing her bear skin against it. She made her way to the head and rapidly started licking and kissing his dick. Anon thought she looked like a lumberjane that was getting a bit too friendly with a tree log, but her efforts felt good nonetheless. Quinn decided to work on his balls, using her hands to rub and massage them, giving an occasional lick to his testicles. It went on for a few minutes, Viv eventually rubbing her tits and pussy on Anon's length, wanting to get herself off as much as him.

Anon could start to feel himself getting closer to his own orgasm, but then Anon felt a mild pain in his balls. Quinn had been rubbing her feet on his sack and had issued a few light kicks to his groin. "Common Anon, hurry up and shoot your load. Some of us have plans after this."

Anon winced. "Hey! Those are my testicles not a punching bag for cryin out loud!"

He heard Ms.Pink give a thoughtful hum. "New R&D idea, possible micro shock gloves for electro sexual stimulation, put it up on the white board." Anon saw a rustle of movement in the upper room.

Quinn reluctantly stopped, she made her way to the tip of his cock, deciding to put her mouth over it and lick the inside of his urethra. Viv was rubbing quicker now, clearly approaching some sort of climax, Anon himself getting close as well. Vivian let out a cry of pleasure, her orgasm soaking Anon's dick. Anon himself grunted a few times before finally cumming, poor Quinn got a mouthful of jizz before his cock twitched away from her face, shooting several wads of sperm that landed in front of the chair, with a little bit of semen dribbling on the seat.
Viv quickly dismounted Anon's cock, took a handful of his cream and put it in her mouth. "mmmm, it's so THICK, Quinn you've got to try some, there's nothing like it."

Quinn made her way from under Anon's softening dick, her stomach looked slightly distended from the cum she had ended up drinking, she gave a light burp. "No thanks, I think I've had enough. Now I've got to get the stupid cum vacuum so we can study his stupid jizz. Your thirsty ass can go right on ahead and eat up though." She picked up her uniform and climbed back up Anon's legs, making her way down the ladder.

As Anon took a breather from his release, Ms.Pink spoke up. "I think we can consider test number one a complete success, now we can move on to test number two, which I myself shall participate in." She took her remote and pushed a few buttons. Anon found the chair slowly reclining and spreading him out, he eventually found himself in a spread eagle position looking up at the ceiling.

The human could hear a squeal of delight from Viv. "Ohmygosh! Does that mean we get to see one of the best at work!? Anon you don't know how lucky you are!"

Anon continued to listen to Ms.Pink's voice. "Mr.Anon, did you know I wasn't always head of research? I used to be quite wild back in my youth when I worked in emissions."

Anon squinted his eyes in confusion. "Like Gas emissions? I guess that's kind of wild."

He heard her give a small chuckle. "Oh no not those kind, I used to be part of the night emissions division, it was an old organization that was made to make young human men release themselves as they slept. It was a way to encourage them to explore and touch themselves so they wouldn't make a mess in their beds. It was disbanded some time ago for safety reasons, humans move so much during sleep. But I was one of the top agents in the field, I would climb into beds, lick and suck human cock until they exploded their bounty on my body. Coming back to base covered in human jizz was one of the greatest thrills I ever had, it's what made me want to be apart of projects like this."

Anon heard Ms.Pink climbing up the ladder to the arm rest, as she reached the top he lifted his head to look, she was exposed for all to see. She had removed her glasses but kept the headset, she had a very shapely body with (of course) pink nipples and pink pubic hair. "After many years, I'm going to get that feeling again and you're going to love every second of it." She then climbed on top of his stomach, he could feel her bare feet slightly tickling him as she walked down to his still soft cock.

As Ms.Pink made her way down, Viv made her way up, after making her way next to his head Anon turned to look at her. Viv looked a touch sheepish. "Um Anon, could I ask for a favor?" Anon gave an inquisitive hum. "Could I maybe, possibly get...A tongue ride? Pleeassssse?"

Anon gave it a quick thought, she was too cute not to say no to. "Alright, but watch my teeth, I don't want to hurt you." Viv gave a squeak of delight as she climbed his face, faced him, and put her pert ass on top of his lips. Anon slowly parted his mouth and let his tongue creep out, sliding his appendage between Viv's legs. He couldn't really get a good look at her face from where she was, but the moans she was letting out told him that he was on the right track.

While he was servicing Viv, Ms.Pink was working on getting his dick hard to bust out another load. She started by making her way to the head that was still had a little cum leaking. Ms.Pink placed her mouth against his pee hole and proceeded to suck the remaining semen out of Anon's cock. She took in the thick flavor and saltiness of human spunk, she had missed this more than she thought. After taking a few moments to savor the long forgotten taste, Ms.Pink took a carefully manicured finger and dipped it into Anon's urethra, slowly pushing in and out.

Anon gave a sudden yelp, he might have bucked Viv off his mouth if it wasn't for the restraints. Anon's cock swiftly started to return to it's previous stiffness, Ms.Pink gave a smile at the fact that she hadn't lost her touch. Ms.Pink then started licking and kissing up and down the shaft, at it's full upright height Anon's dick stood one inch taller than herself. It was was nothing Ms.Pink hadn't handled before, she'd gotten results from cocks that towered over her.

While Ms.Pink continued to please Anon, the human was making fast progress with Viv. By now his tongue had licked every inch of her body, lapping her tits, her ass and pussy. She was in an orgasmic fugue state, hugging his tongue, making out with it with her own tiny one. As he slid his fleshy part between her legs again, Viv starting bucking harder, moaning louder. She eventually let out a loud shriek and sprayed her sweet juices into Anon's mouth.

As Viv was coming down from her high, she started kissing Anon's nose, hugging his face and mumbling. "I love you, I love you. Stay with us, be mine." Anon couldn't hold her, but he managed to maneuver his tongue to make sure Viv didn't fall off his face.

Now that Viv had gotten hers, Ms.Pink was making sure Anon got his. In-between her oral ministrations, Ms.Pink was leaning on and massaging Anon's dick like an extra thick stripper pole. She then expertly climbed up his erect cock and placed her moist snatch against the tip of his dick. She then spread her legs on both sides of Anon's shaft, rubbing her pussy against his hole while managing to keep herself balanced. Anon slowly craned his neck so he could see Ms.pink in action, his orgasm starting to make it's way through his loins. Ms.Pink could see the human's balls tightening, getting ready to spill his seed all over her like so many did long ago.

She then spread her pussy as much as possible, forcing as much of Anon's cock into her as she could, she spoke into her headset. "Watch everyone, you'll see the culmination of our efforts here, so that elven women can enjoy human dicks when and how we please!" Not long after she said that, Anon felt himself cum. A stream of splooge went from his cock inside Ms.Pink's pussy, she could feel it flow inside her womb, expanding it as it tried to accommodate the shear volume of his semen. As her womb grew, Ms.Pink's eyes rolled into the back of her head, an orgasm rocked her body, her mouth couldn't even form words. Her body couldn't hold all of Anon's cum however, and what didn't fill her just shot out around her body and dripped down Anon's shaft.

Anon felt faint at the ecstasy he had just experienced. He just hoped that he could continue if any further tests were going to be made. He was also glad Ms.Pink didn't seem hurt, he half expected her to shoot off his cock like a cum filled water rocket after that.

Ms.Pink came to her senses, then slowly slid off Anon's cock, she looked several months pregnant, human sperm leaking between her legs as she stood up. "As you can see, Gulliver's Chair is a complete success. With your approval, we can start production of these within the month. If you still need further proof, I offer up test number three! Audience participation."

Anon's head snapped at that, Viv shaking off her orgasm to look alongside him at the observation deck. They both saw the door open and five other elf women step out, some looked mature with streaks of gray in their hair, other's were a bit younger looking. They also seemed to range in skin tone similar to humans, but every one of them looked like their panties were soaked and they were Down To Fuck.

What followed was the smallest orgy Anon had ever seen, elf women crowding his cock, licking and sucking at different speeds. Some coming up to his face begging for him to cover them with his meaty tongue. Viv had even got a second wind, riding the tip of his cock with her pussy. "Knock me up Anon! Fill me with your sweet ballcream, I'll have as many babies as you want!" Anon wasn't sure if that was even possible, but Viv got her wish as Anon ended up inflating her womb with cum as well. Some women made their way to his restrained hands and rubbed themselves on his fingers. One particularly aggressive elf even managed to take his pinky finger to the first knuckle up her pussy. It got to the point where if the human didn't have something open, the women just started making out with each other, rubbing out an orgasm together.

Anon wasn't sure how long he was there, strapped to that chair. In that passage of time he lost track of how many times he came and how many times they all did, but eventually they all seemed blissfully passed out, more than one of them bloated from taking in his cum. Anon's attention was grabbed as he noticed his restraints were withdrawn, this chair making it's way to an upright position.

Anon rubbed his now sore wrists, he then gingerly picked up any of the elves that were scattered over him, setting them down on the floor. As he was doing this he noticed Quinn, in all the excitement he had forgotten about her. He saw her face down in a puddle of his cum, rubbing herself and licking it off the floor and moaning. After a few moments she looked over at him with a startled expression, it quickly reset back to boredom. "No one will believe you." She said.

Before he could talk back, Anon heard Ms.Pink speak. "Well done Mr.Anon, you have tested our new product with flying colors. We hope you have enjoyed your time here, sadly it is time for you to depart. Just know that due to your exemplary performance we may in fact invite you back sometime again! Or you might even get a notice from our cousins up north, humans are so rare in the poles after all. When you awake you'll find yourself with some compensation for all that you've done, goodbye."

Anon didn't get two thoughts in before he felt a prick on his neck, he sank back into the chair and felt the world go black. Anon next woke with a start, finding himself completely dressed and on the ground outside the forest that he had entered. He groaned as he stood up, he was damn sure it all wasn't a dream, his sore dick was proof enough for him. He looked up at the sky, he felt like he was in there for hours, but the sun had barley moved.

Elven magic he guessed, but they could have gave him the dignity of walking out himself at least, a flash of panic came over him, he started to feel his body all over. Whew, no surgical scars, so they didn't take his kidneys while he was out at least. On the ground a pink box caught Anon's eye, he picked it up guessing it was the "compensation" Ms.Pink talked about, it was a box of Rice Krispies with pink flakes in the mix.

Anon looked at the box for a few moments. "These are expired."

Only a few bird calls answered him.