Chapter Text
The next morning, Squidward was glancing out the kitchen window, watching his neighbor’s pineapple. His boat mobile was still not in the driveway. That’s weird, the cephalopod wondered, wiping the sleep off his eyes.
“Well, those nitwits probably spent their evening eating way too many sundaes at this silly ice-cream place,” he mumbled to himself. A corner of his mouth quirked up as he thought about the effect that ice-cream had on Spongebob. After eating too much of it, he always acted kind of drunk. Squidward knew that the sea sponge would never get behind the wheel in a condition like this; he was way too dutiful to put other people in danger.
Sadness and regret clouded his features when he remembered how horrible he had treated the fry cook the night before. The octopus wished he hadn’t been so mean to him. “How could I’ve been such a jerk?” he cursed and groaned.
Working with Spongebob the whole day without talking about it would surely be impossible. But Squidward didn’t want Mr. Krabs to know anything about the emotional chaos between them, so talking to him at work was out of question, too.
The cashier made himself a cup of extra-strong espresso and gulped it down as fast as he could, because an idea had hit him. He recalled that Spongebob often arrived at work at least one hour early and though Squidward would probably never understand it, he decided to do the same today.
If making it up to Sponge meant sacrificing one slow morning, he was happy to do it. He’d sacrifice an entire week, or even more! Heck, Spongebob had sacrificed almost every single evening when Squidward had been in the mental hospital; now it was his turn. In fact, there was nothing he wanted more than making it right.
I may be crazy for falling in love with that moron, but I’d be completely insane if I wouldn’t try to fix this, he thought as he put on his helmet and hurried outside. The cashier lost no time and cycled to work immediately; he reached the restaurant only few minutes later.
A glance at his watch told him that the Krusty Krab wouldn’t open for an hour and a half. Dear Neptune, I’ve never been here that early! Well, except that one time he had come there by night to eat way too many Krabby Patties.
The minutes flew by like seconds, but his coworker was still nowhere to be seen. Squidward tried not to worry too much and distracted himself by looking through his Instaclam feed. He’s probably sleeping it off right now. Maybe he’ll be on time today instead of being early.
As he scrolled through all the new pictures to maybe find a new post from Kelpy G, he saw an image of Squilliam holding a concert at Glove World in front of uncountable fans. He was looking right into the camera, revealing his artificially whitened teeth. Dammit, I really should unfollow this arrogant barnacle.
Suddenly, he heard somebody walking towards him. At last! Squidward cleared his throat and tucked the shell phone into his pocket. “Spongebob, listen… I really feel terrible about last night and I- I wanted to say sorry,” he began, too embarrassed to even look at the person who was standing in front of him. “I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did… I shouldn’t have been such an asshole… but when you told me that you love-”
A forced cough interrupted the awkward cephalopod. He raised his head and gazed directly into two questioning and skeptical stalk eyes. Dammit, that's NOT Spongebob, the octopus noticed before he exclaimed in shock, “Mr. Krabs? What are you doing here so early?”
“What do ye mean early? Mr. Squidward, we open in ten minutes,” his boss answered with a stern look. “Since when are ye on time? And-” he looked around searchingly, “Where’s the lad?”
The cashier swallowed hard, fidgeting his tentacles. “I… don’t know, Mr. Krabs. He was out late last night, so he probably won’t be early today,” Squidward mused, trying not to sound or be too concerned.
To his surprise, Mr. Krabs started laughing. “Aghaghagha, alright! That little guy’s working so hard, he deserves a night out!” The crab opened up his restaurant and went inside. Squidward reluctantly followed his boss and placed himself behind the cash register, unmotivated as always.
“I’ll still call him, just in case he didn’t hear his foghorn today. Ye know how much being late drives him crazy.”
The cephalopod nodded and looked through the window behind him. The empty kitchen was a truly unusual sight, and it somehow made him feel kind of empty too. How can I already miss him? We’ve only been apart for one night.
Eugene stepped out of his office, giving Squidward the claws up. “I couldn’t reach him, so he must be on his way!” The octopus sighed with relief, when suddenly the phone rang. “Oh? Maybe he calls in sick today,” Mr. Krabs suspected and stepped back to his office. “Mrs. Squarepants? To what do I owe this honor?” Squidward heard his boss ask her.
He tiptoed to the office door and put his ear to it, but all he could hear was muffled muttering. Wait, Mrs. Squarepants? Why would she try to call Spongebob here? the cephalopod wondered, raising an eyebrow.
Suddenly Mr. Krabs opened the door, causing Squidward to lose his balance, trip and fell. He quickly got up from the ground and prepared for a furious lecture on privacy, but Eugene said nothing at all. “Mr. Krabs, this isn’t what it looks like!” he tried to explain himself and scratched his neck. “I- umm… Mr. Krabs?” the cephalopod asked quietly as he noticed the crab’s sad eyes. Are these tears in his eyes? What the kelp’s going on? “Eugene, what’s the matter? Did-” He barely dared to ask the question, because deep down he already knew the answer. “Did something happen to Spongebob?”
His boss covered his red face with his claws. “Mr. Squidward, I really don’t know how to tell ye this,” he hesitated. “Boyo-” The restaurant owner looked up and gulped as if to swallow the lump of sadness in his throat. “He had a boat accident last night, and… and it doesn’t look good.”
WHAT?!
Squidward’s eyes got wider and he slowly placed his hands over his mouth. His stomach started cramping, and he felt as if his heart had almost stopped beating. Okay, this… this can’t be happening. This is just a nightmare! He started pinching himself in the hope to wake up, but it was no use.
“What are ye doing?” Mr. Krabs wanted to know, shaking his head. “Lock me cash register, we’ll close for today. I can’t sell Krabby Patties without me fry cook.”
“Wh- what? I-” Squidward stuttered, staring in disbelief. He sank to the floor and squeezed his sailor hat as if he had to hold on to it. No, this can’t be. He crashes into stuff constantly and he never got seriously injured before. And now he’s- ? That’s impossible.
“Hello? Mr. Squidward?” Mr. Krabs waved his claws in front of the cashier’s face to snap him out of his thoughts. He helped him up and held his tentacle a little longer. “Listen, I don’t know what happened between ye and the lad, and I know it’s not me business, but… Ye should go see him while ye still can.”
It’s that bad?!
“I’ll get back to ye when we reopen,” his boss said, turning the sign at the entrance to ‘closed’.
_______________________________________________
Squidward left the fast-food restaurant and walked to his bike with shaky tentacles. He still couldn’t process what he had just heard. With trembling hands, he put on his helmet and cycled right to the Bikini Bottom Hospital.
His mind was completely mashed with the terrible news; he ran red lights and almost got ran over by a boat mobile. The driver honked his horn, waved a clenched fin out the window and yelled, “Watch out, you idiot! Got a death wish?“
Yes, you could say so.
He drove on as fast as he could and reached the hospital only minutes later. Squidward ran to the registration, dripping with sweat, to ask about his crush. “Excuse me, I- I’m looking for Spongebob Squarepants,” he said, completely out of breath.
The lady at the reception took a look into the patient records and nodded to him friendly but distantly. “Are you a member of the family?”
Dammit, I forgot that only family members are allowed to visit the intensive care unit, he cursed inwardly. “Well, I- I am… actually, I’m-“
The woman understood and interrupted him, “I’m sorry, but we can’t let you see Mr. Squarepants unless you’re related or married to him!“
No, no, no! “B- but I must see him, please! I’m begging you,” the octopus pleaded. “You don’t understand!“
She looked at him with warmth and understanding, and said, “I do understand this all too well, but I must ask you to leave.”
Squidward opened his mouth to protest when a soft voice came to help him. “It’s okay, Mary. Let him go to Spongebob.” The artiste turned around and beheld a pair of puffy light-blue eyes. Mrs. Squarepants placed herself beside the cashier and put one arm around his shoulder. “He’s… my son from my first marriage,” she lied.
The woman called Mary eyed Squidward thoughtfully and said after a while, “Alright, go to him. He’s in room 405, but you know that already.“
Squidward followed Margaret through a cold and sterile corridor. When they were in a safe distance from the hospital staff, he whispered to her, “Thank you so much, Mrs. Squarepants!“
“Don’t mention it, Squidward. And please, call me Margaret,” she waved off. “I know how much you mean to Spongebob. He-“ her voice broke as she choked back tears. She took out a tissue that had been used way too many times to wipe off the tears from her face. “He would want you to be with him right now,“ Margaret said quietly.
The cephalopod gave her a moment to gather herself before he asked carefully, “Wh- what happened? And… how is he?“
She blew her nose and rubbed her reddened eyes. “I only know what Patrick told me,“ she began. “They’ve been out last night, and he was very upset about-“ She took a deep breath, her eyes still misting over. “About a fight between you two. He was crying the ride over, and when they just decided to drive home, his boat mobile went off the road.”
Squidward handed her a fresh hankie, which she accepted thankfully.
“Patrick’s fine, he’s only got a mild concussion. But… Bobby was hit pretty hard. He lost a lot of blood and- and they had to-“ Mrs. Squarepants stopped in front of a room and pointed at the door. “The doctor is in there with him, you’d best ask the doctor yourself. I’ll get outside and get some fresh water,“ she said in voice thick with emotion before she headed to the exit.
The cephalopod looked after her and wondered whether she had been at the hospital all night. So this is my fault?
__________________________________________________
Just as he was about to enter said room, the door swung open and a pink figure almost ran into him. “Watch it, will you?!” he grumbled, before he realized who he was yelling at. “Patrick? What happened yesterday?” Squidward wanted to know, grabbing his neighbor’s shoulders.
Great sadness dawned on the sea star’s features as he rubbed his eyes. “Oh Squidward, it’s terrible,” he sobbed, burying his face in the cephalopod’s shoulder. “He couldn’t stop crying. I- I tried to comfort him, but he kept saying that you’d be better off without him… And then he drove off the road and- and then he fell asleep and I couldn’t wake him up!”
What did he say? I’d be better off without him?! The cashier slightly pushed Patrick from himself to look into his puffy eyes. “Did- did he really say that?”
“Yeah. He said you told him to get out of your life,” he remembered his best friends last words before the accident.
Squidward was completely aghast. His face went blank when a terrible suspicion crossed his mind. No, no, no. What have I done? “Patrick, do you think he… did that on pur-“ Squidward wanted to ask the sea star, but his voice failed him. No way! He would never do anything like that.
“I- I dunno, Squid. I have no idea, it- it all happened so fast,” Patrick sniffled, desperately shaking his head. “I just want my best friend back!”
Oh Neptune…
When the cephalopod looked at his crying neighbor, he felt bad for him. So bad that he couldn’t help but hug him awkwardly. Of course, that was only the shock, he still couldn’t stand that pink imbecile. But that didn’t matter now. Right now, all that mattered was Spongebob.
“I need to see him, Patrick,” Squidward stated, loosening the embrace and ignoring the fact that his shirt was now wet with the other man’s tears.
The starfish nodded, rubbing his eyes again. “Sure, go to him, I’ve gotta leave now. Mindy’s waiting outside.”
It is true, then, the octopus thought, staring at Patrick contemplatively.
“See you. And Squid?” He stopped and lowered his voice, whispering into the cashier’s ear. “Sponge told me to tell you he’s sorry.”
Sorry? What for?! Squidward had so many questions to ask his crush’s best friend, but he was gone before the cephalopod had the chance to. “Just go in there and see for yourself, Squiddy,” he muttered to himself as he put his shaky tentacle on the cold door knob.
With his heart pounding, he hesitantly opened the door to Spongebob’s hospital room. The typical hospital smell flood his nostrils as soon as he entered the room. Bright lights shone from the white ceiling, all over the white walls and the white furniture. Squidward’s eyes fell on Spongebob, who was hooked up to several machines.
The octopus gasped in shock; he had never seen him like that. The fry cook’s body was almost completely bandaged, and he had an arm in a cast. His face was all purple and swollen, and he had no color in his freckly cheeks. Only the beeping of the heart monitor indicated that he was still alive; the sea sponge was just unrecognizable.
The doctor wrote down Spongebob’s vitals and turned to Squidward. “Ah, you must be the other half-brother,” he noted while he wondered about Mrs. Squarepants choice of men (Three sons from three different men? She must have had an interesting love-life when she was younger!), and Squidward nodded without looking the doctor in the eyes.
“As you are already aware, Mr. Squarepants got into a bad accident last night. The boat mobile was totally damaged, and the pieces of glass had caused a severe abdominal wound and a lung collapse. He has lost more than a third of his blood volume, and due to the impact he has suffered a heavy traumatic brain injury.”
Holy shrimp…
The doctor fish went through his patient notes, and then continued. “We gave him a blood transfusion, and his vitals has been stabilized, but we’re keeping him in an artificial coma until the brain swelling subsides to minimalize the chance of long-term damage.”
Squidward gasped again and his mouth fell open, he felt like his heart skipped a thousand beats. “An artificial coma,” the cephalopod echoed, almost inaudible. He’s got to… he’s got to be kidding me. His knees went weak and he started to tremble. “But I thought sponges regenerate super quickly!”
Sighing, the physician explained, “Well, they normally do. The only exception are brain injuries, they block the regeneration process. It will take him much longer to regenerate than under usual conditions.”
“H- how long will it be?”
“It can take days or even weeks to recover from an accident this bad. All we can do is watch, wait and hope for the best,” the doctor opined, pensively gazing down at the sponge.
Then, after what seemed like an eternity – which actually lasted for less than a minute – Squidward dared to ask the crucial question. “But is he going to live?” He stared at the fry cook, a pit forming in his stomach.
The doctor fish faced him and looked at the octopus seriously, pondering for a second before he answered. “We all hope that he will survive, and I assure you that we’re doing everything we can, but it’s not looking great.”
It’s not looking great?!
The cashier felt like somebody had pulled away the rug out from under his tentacles. “What- what do you mean by that?” he breathed terrified, holding his cramping stomach (whose contents threatened to spill over at any second). Oh Neptune, this couldn’t be true!
“He probably won’t make it through the day. I’m sorry, but his injuries are pretty severe,” the purple fish in the white coat admitted, inspecting the cephalopod worriedly. “You don’t look well, I think you should have a seat.”
Expressionless, Squidward did as told and sat down on an uncomfortable chair right next to Spongebob’s hospital bed. His mind was completely blank, and he was increasingly feeling as if he was trapped in a bad dream. He was shivering and felt numb as he sat down and just stared at Spongebob, who was so much more than just a friend for him. Good Neptune, he looks even worse up close.
“I have to check up on my other patients now, but please feel free to ring if you need anything,” the doctor fish said, pointing at a red button behind the hospital bed before he left the room 405. Squidward heard his words, but he was in too much shock to say anything. All he could think of was his beloved friend, and he prayed for him to live. He had never felt so empty and helpless before.
„Wake up, moron. P-please,“ he whispered, leaning closer to the sea sponge’s face. “Please, Spongebob- I… I have a confession to make.” As expected, the fry cook didn’t react to the sound of his crush’s voice. “I should’ve told you last night, but I-” he sighed and scratched his neck, unable to take his eyes off Spongebob. “You know, the thing with Squilvia… and,” Squidward swallowed hard. “And Squilliam… I- I just couldn’t-” He froze, wondering why he was even trying to explain his crappy behavior to the younger man.
What’s the point in doing that?
The cephalopod took Spongebob’s hand in his and briefly flinched because it was so cold. Squidward squeezed the tiny yellow hand and examined it pensively before he continued. “Sponge, I know that you probably can’t hear me right now, and I have no idea why I’m telling you this.”
Except perhaps because you could die at any time and something like that just can’t remain unsaid. The octopus shook his head as if trying to shake the terrible thought – that made his heart shrink inside his chest – off. No, he will NOT die. He can’t die!
“I’m just so damn terrified of getting hurt again. I couldn’t survive another heartbreak!”
Oh dammit, bad choice of words, Squidward!
He slapped his forehead and groaned. This was all so wrong, so frustrating. The cashier really wanted to tell Spongebob how he felt about him, but he didn’t know how to find the right words. Just do it, Squiddy! You know you have to.
“And- and I couldn’t bear hurting you neither…”
Squidward closed his teary eyes and took a deep shaky breath. “I- I’m so sorry, Sponge. This is all my fault! I’ve pushed you away because I’ve been afraid that you’d walk away someday… like Squilvia and Squilliam did.”
He shivered as he thought about all the times he had mistreated his only friend and how mean he had been. If I had only known what I know today…
“I’m so terribly sorry for what I did to you… B- but my biggest regret is what I didn’t do,” he sniffled, his tears blurring his view. “I should’ve told you yesterday, then none of this would have ever happened. By Neptune, I should have swallowed my damn pride!”
The cephalopod was so nervous that his heart started racing like it never did before as he prepared himself for the words he was about to say. Words that had long been overdue. “I… I- uhh,” he struggled to talk, but it was too hard to breath, let alone speak. It felt as if his tongue got tied. Get yourself together, Squidward!
He moved the chair even closer to Spongebob’s hospital bed, leaned over and whispered into his ear. “I feel the same way, Spongebob. I never thought it possible and in fact, I fought against it with every fiber of my being, but… I… love you too.”
Squidward gazed down at his friend to see whether he had woken up due to a miracle that may had happened. The tears of true love that can conquer death, he thought. Like in the fairy tales. But this was the real life, not a sugar-sweet story with a happy ending and a ‘happily ever after’. Squidward was not in a magical castle, but in the ICU, in a room where Spongebob was struggling to survive.
“You heard me right,” the octopus said to break the scary silence. Silence and Spongebob just didn’t belong together. “You’d possibly sing or shout or dance… or even weep with joy,“ he continued, smiling sadly as he remembered the fry cook’s joyfully outbursts. But the cashier’s smile slipped as the heart monitor’s beeps brought him back to the sad reality.
“I swear I didn’t mean it when I told you to get out of my life,” Squidward sobbed, he couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. “Please, wake up,” he begged desperately. “Yuh- you can’t die on me! You promised me you’d be there for me!“ The octopus rubbed his eyes to wipe away his tears and massaged his temples. That’s gonna be a terrible migraine attack.
“Please wake up. The world would be so empty without your deafening high-pitched giggles, without your toothy smile… without your sparkling eyes,” he run his tentacle over the sponge’s pale cheek. “I love you, Sponge,” he whispered. “Don’t leave me alone, okay? I- I need you.” Squidward buried his face in his tentacles and wept bitterly; the fear for Spongebob literally broke his heart.
“Oh, please! You’re the only reason I’m still alive today. You’re the only one who ever cared about me. The only one wh- who loves me just the way I am, no- no matter how mean I’ve been or how much I’ve hurt you! Even-”
He paused to catch his breath before he went on. “Even after everything I’ve put you through, you… you never gave up on me… not even when I gave up on myself,” the octopus cried as he vainly tried to stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks. “Spongebob, please… if you can hear me, I need you to wake up. I- I can’t do this without you!”
Instead of the steady tones a long beep suddenly filled the room. Squidward could hear the alarm on the blood pressure monitor and watched as the heart monitor went to a flat line. It took him one moment to comprehend what was going on. No, this can’t be true…
“Sponge?” It’s a joke, obviously. A terrible joke! The artiste grabbed the sea sponge’s shoulders, shook him and cried out, “Stop this nonsense and just wake up, will you?!”
The doctor and two nurses hurried in, alerted by Spongebob’s beeping heart monitor. “Step away from the patient and leave the room,” the doctor urged, but Squidward froze, he was not able to move. He felt as if he had just become a part of the third-class medical drama he watched every Thursday evening.
What’s this all about?
„Expose the patient, I need paddles,” the purple fish ordered. The nurses cut off Spongebob’s hospital robe and bared his torso. His whole abdomen was bandaged.
Dear Neptune, this can’t be happening…
„Charge the paddles to 200!“ Squidward saw them using the electric paddles, trying to start Spongebob’s heart, with no luck. “Let’s shock him again.”
It felt as if time had suddenly stopped.
One of the nurses screamed, “Still no pulse, we’re losing him!”
The cashier gasped in shock, his eyes focusing on Spongebob, and then repeated the horrible phrase. “W- we’re losing him?”
They kept using the paddles on the sea sponge, but nothing seemed to work; his little heart didn’t show any reaction. „I need one unit of epi!“ One of the nurses led Squidward out of the hospital room while the other one handed a syringe to the doctor.
She then led the octopus back to the waiting room and tried to soothe him. “We’re doing everything we can for him!” But he was in too much shock; everything faded into a dull, fuzzy voice and he couldn’t understand anything she said.
When he arrived in the waiting room, he saw Mrs. Squarepants staring at the ceiling. Her husband sat right next to her, holding her hand without saying a word. They jumped to their feet the moment they spotted Squidward and the nurse.
“Squidward, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Margaret asked with panic in her voice, looking at the artiste deeply alarmed. “Is… is he okay?”
The cashier slowly shook his aching head, blankly gazing at the wall. No. Nothing’s ever going to be okay. “H-his heart has stopped. I’ve killed him.”
Before he could say anything else, black spots multiplied before his eyes until he was completely blinded, all of his four knees buckled, and he collapsed to the floor.
This is all just a bad dream.