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A man was sorting books in the royal library, unaware that he was being observed. Outside the ground floor window, two of the Queen's advisors looked on.
“This one, seriously?” Gabriel said. “He's a librarian.”
“He's also a knight,” Michael replied.
“Once, maybe, but that was years ago.”
“He still is. I checked, he never performed an act of service for the kingdom.” According to the laws of Angellica, no knight could officially retire until they had performed an act of great service that would defend or benefit the kingdom.
“But, he's so soft.”
“Look, you asked me to find someone we could sca-, um I mean, someone who would not be missed, and I've done that.”
“You know I can't afford to lose my best people,” argued Gabriel. Michael merely lifted an eyebrow in response. Very recently, Angellica had signed a peace treaty with Heliland, their eternal enemies. As part of the treaty, a clause had been added stating that Angellica would attempt to clear out the Forbidden Bog. Gabriel suspected that the ruler of Heliland, Lord Beelzebub, had put that in to humiliate them. Everyone knew the bog was cursed. People who ventured there either disappeared, or came back raving about a giant serpent. But their Queen had agreed to the terms of the treaty, putting Gabriel in the unenviable position of having to deal with it.
“Very well,” said Gabriel, “let's go tell him. By the way, what's his name again?”
“Aziraphale.”
The Forbidden Bog was a rather gloomy place, filled with half dead trees and strange vegetation, and a mysterious fog that seemed to linger and grow thicker the further you ventured in. Aziraphale would rather be anywhere else, not that he had much choice in the matter. Oh, why hadn't he completed his service years ago? He could have gone on a quest in search of that famed golden cup which was all the rage when he was younger. At worst, he would have spent a few months travelling the countryside, looking in dusty ruins. Although, that was around the time that the Queen had asked Aziraphale to take the small collection of books she had inherited from her father and expand it into a truly great royal library. Aziraphale had put down his sword and been working towards that lofty goal ever since. In fact he had completely forgotten where he had put his sword down, and had to be supplied with a sword and shield from the armoury for this mission.
There was a rustling to Aziraphale's right, Through the fog, he could just make out the shape of a great beast. It slithered past him, and rose up in front of him on the path. Aziraphale lifted his sword, and raised his shield in front of his face.
“Get back you foul fiend, or I'll be forced to smite you!” Aziraphale said, as forcefully as he could muster.
“Smite me? Foul Fiend? Is that anyway to greet a friend, Aziraphale?”
Aziraphale lowered his shield.
"Crowley?” There standing on the path in front of him, leaning nonchalantly against a tree, was his friend Crowley. They had become friends many, many years ago, when they had met at an auction, where they both wanted a box of goods; Aziraphale for the books and Crowley for the jars of seeds and dried herbs inside. They had bid rather aggressively against each other, but in the end they'd decided to split the box, with Aziraphale taking the books and Crowley the jars. When Aziraphale ran into Crowley in town a week later, for some unfathomable reason, Aziraphale had invited Crowley to tea. They had gone to the local tea house, and spent a wonderful couple of hours together. Every Thursday since then, they'd enjoyed delightfully long lunches with each other.
“Crowley, what on earth are you doing here?”
“I live here, angel.” Aziraphale knew Crowley lived outside of town, but he had always pictured his home as one of those charming farmer's cottages.
“In the Forbidden Bog?”
“It's not forbidden to me, and besides, what are you doing in here, waving around a sword?” Aziraphale lowered his sword, feeling a little foolish.
“I'm going to drive the giant serpent out of the bog.”
“Why in the world would you do that?”
“Well, um, it would be a good thing, wouldn't it?”
“Not for me, it wouldn't.”
“Oh.” They stared at each other for an uncomfortable moment.
“Why don't you come back to mine? We'll have a cup of tea, and sort this all out,” said Crowley.
“Oh, that does sound lovely.” Aziraphale followed Crowley into the fog, which impossibly seemed to have grown thicker.
“Hey, foggy!” yelled Crowley. “Lighten it up, will you?” And the fog began to lift.
“Did you just command the fog?” asked Aziraphale.
“Yeah, they’re alright, they just overdo it with the aesthetics sometimes.”
Aziraphale wasn't sure how to respond to that, so he didn't. He just continued to trail behind Crowley. After a short distance, they came upon a clearing and a building that might be described as a bit of a mess; it was clearly a hodgepodge of styles and additions from different eras. There was a very old tower, which had obviously stood alone at some point. At the bottom of the tower, on one side was some sort of manor house that had been added to over time. On the other side of the tower was a more utilitarian-looking building, part of which appeared to be made entirely of glass. It should have been ugly, and yet it was surprisingly lovely. The tower was partially covered in flowering ivy. Surrounding everything was a large fenced garden that was bursting at the seams with life. As they went through the gate and passed through the garden, Aziraphale could see sections for flowers, herbs, and vegetables, as well as plants he could not identify. Every square inch of space seemed to be in use. Aziraphale knew Crowley loved gardening, but he had no idea that he was so proficient. It was a veritable paradise in the middle of this swampy bog.
“Come into the great room,” said Crowley when they entered his home. The room was indeed large, with a hearth at one end, where a fire blazed merrily and a kettle was set to boil. From the rafters hung dozens of bundles of drying herbs. Aziraphale examined them with interest.
“Have a seat, angel.” Crowley had been calling him angel for so many years now that Aziraphale had forgotten how the nickname had come about, but he always liked how Crowley said it. Aziraphale put aside his shield and sword, and sank into one of the offered chairs, a slightly oversized, stuffed thing. It was quite cozy, but didn't really seem to be Crowley's style. Crowley busied himself making tea, eventually passing Aziraphale a cup made exactly how he liked it. Crowley draped himself across a different chair, this one wood with a minimal amount of cushioning; much more Crowley's thing.
“So, how about you tell me all about how you found yourself wandering around the bog today?” So Aziraphale did. He told him all about how the royal advisors had come to him with this assignment, and how he couldn't really refuse because of the rules.
“But why now?” asked Crowley. “Why the sudden urgency? We get the occasional noble fool in here, but overall the kingdoms have left this place well alone.” Aziraphale explained about the treaty.
“Damn them,” Crowley cursed, getting up to pace about the room. “They mean to drive me from my home. It's been thirty years; you'd think they'd learn to let it go.”
“Who would, dear? I'm afraid I'm not following,” said Aziraphale. Crowley paused, leaning against the fireplace to explain.
“You know that I am originally from Heliland.”
“Yes.”
“Well, there were some people who were very unhappy when I left.”
“But that was years ago; surely they have forgotten all about it by now.”
“You'd think so, but Beelzebub likes to hold a grudge.”
“Lord Beelzebub?”
“The one and the same.” Crowley sat back down in his chair. “You remember me telling you about my father?”
“Yes.” Aziraphale did remember. Crowley didn't like to talk about his family, but one rainy afternoon, after they'd enjoyed several bottles of wine, Crowley had told him about his complicated relationship with his father, and how torn he'd felt after his death.
“After he died, I was a little lost, unsure of what to do with myself, so I found myself being one of Beelzebub's courtiers, although 'errand boy' would have been a more apt title. If they needed information, I got it, if there was an unpleasant task they didn't want to dirty their hands with, I took care of it.”
“Really? But, that doesn't sound like you.”
“I didn't think so either, so I left, which made them angry. Beelzebub doesn't like to lose their toys, especially ones that know too much. I wandered around for a time, but everywhere I went Beelzebub's agents followed, until I found this bog, a place they dare not follow. The old woman who lived here took me in, and I became her apprentice.”
“Your mentor, who taught you all about plants.”
“Yes.”
“And, you don't want me to hurt the serpent, because they protect you?”
“That's part of the reason, yes.”
“Well, I completely understand that, but Crowley, how do you justify it eating people?”
“Eating - What?! It's done no such thing!”
“People come in here, and they disappear.”
“They get scared, and run away. Some of them are probably just too embarrassed to return home, and be branded a coward. The serpent has never once eaten a single person.”
“But, how can you be sure?”
“I'm sure, angel, because I am the serpent.” There was a long pause.
“I'm sorry, I don't understand?” said Aziraphale. Crowley snapped his fingers and a small flame burst out of his left hand.
“I'm a wizard, angel.” Aziraphale promptly dropped his teacup, which smashed to pieces on the floor.
Aziraphale stumbled out into the garden. He didn't even remember getting up out of the chair, or dashing out of the room, but he needed air. He wandered around in circles for a while, trying to calm the beating of his heart. His friend was a wizard, his best friend was a wizard. Aziraphale didn't have many friends. He liked to think the Queen thought highly of him, but she was the Queen and he was her servant. He was friendly with many people: the bookseller, the royal cook, the owner of the tea house, but none of them were truly his friends, not like Crowley was. He thought what they had was special, but maybe he was wrong.
Crowley appeared around a hedge.
“Are you done freaking out?”
“I am not freaking out!” Although, perhaps he was a little bit.
“There were times I thought for sure you must know. You never once suspected?”
“No.”
“You never wondered about how our favourite tables were always available for us at the tea house, the one by the window in the summer and the hearth in the winter?
“I thought they just liked us there.”
“What about today, when the fire was already lit, and the kettle set to boil?”
“Servants?”
“Like I could get any servants to live out here.”
“I guess I was being foolish.”
“No, you just weren't expecting magic.” Magic was fairly uncommon nowadays, although there were often rumours about individuals who might be practising the art, but Aziraphale had never heard Crowley's name mentioned among them.
“Did you want to see? Me, transform into a serpent? You don't have to, if you don't want to.” Did he want to see Crowley as anything other than a man, his friend? Not really, but perhaps it would be best if he did.
“Yes,” Aziraphale responded.
“Okay, I won't go full size; that can be a little scary for some people, but it will give you an idea.” Crowley loosened his limbs, and slowly he transformed from a man to a man-sized snake. He was strangely beautiful: black and red shimmering scales, and golden eyes that seemed to see right through you. It was one of the most amazing things Aziraphale had ever witnessed, and unexpectedly his eyes filled with tears.
Crowley quickly changed back.
“Are you okay, angel? I know it can be a bit overwhelming.”
“It's not that; you were lovely, not scary at all, it's just...”
“What?”
“I thought we were friends, Crowley,” cried Aziraphale.
“We are, angel, you're my best friend.”
“Then how come I don't know about any of this? You being chased by royals, performing magic, spending half your time as a snake...”
“It's not half my time, it's just a daily patrol, that's all,” mumbled Crowley. Aziraphale threw him an exasperated look.
“Crowley, you know almost everything about me. I tell you all about my life, from dickering with the bookseller to sneaking into the royal kitchens to snatch my favourite raspberry tarts.”
”And I love listening to you talk about them.”
“But that's not how friendship is supposed to work, Crowley. It's supposed to be a two-way street.”
“I know it is, and I know I can tell you anything, I do. There were a bunch of times I almost told you, but... this isn't an easy thing to tell someone, okay? 'Oh, by the way, I'm a wizard that hides out in an infernal swamp.'”
“That would have made sense when we were first getting to know each other, but Crowley, we've known each other for almost half our lifetimes at this point. Why continue to hide it from me?”
“I don't know, I guess I had to protect myself.”
“From what? Were you afraid I would tell someone?”
“What? No.”
“Then why, Crowley?” Crowley looked vulnerable, like he wanted to do anything but answer, but Aziraphale stood firm.
“I was afraid I might lose you,” Crowley whispered. All the rage and upset just drained out of Aziraphale. He went over and put a hand on Crowley's arm.
“My dear boy, you could never lose me.” Next thing he knew his arms were full of Crowley, and Aziraphale wrapped himself around him. After a time Crowley pulled back slightly and kissed him, it was completely unexpected, and yet felt distinctly right. After a long moment, Crowley pulled away.
“Sorry about that, got carried away.”
“No need to be sorry. I liked it.”
“You did?”
“Yes.” And then Aziraphale pulled him in for another kiss.
After Crowley's revelation, it was like a dam had broken. They spent hours having long discussions about Crowley's past, and Crowley could hardly wait to show Aziraphale all his magical skills. They spent days wandering around Crowley's property, and exploring the bog, and at night they fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms. It was all rather idyllic, and yet it felt like something was missing.
Aziraphale got up from Crowley's bed, leaving him to slumber, and went over to the window. It was a full moon, and in the distance he could just see the top of the tallest tower of the royal palace. Aziraphale felt a slight ache in his chest.
“You alright, angel?” asked a drowsy Crowley.
“I'm fine, dear. I'm sorry if I woke you.”
“If it's fine,” Crowley said, getting up out of bed, “what has you up in the middle of the night?”
“I'm thinking about what I should do, about my mission.”
“You don't need to do anything, forget about them. You can stay here as long as you like.”
“Thank you, my dear, and I do love it here, I truly do.”
“Why do I sense a 'but’ coming on?”
“What about the books, Crowley? The ones in the royal library, they're my life's work, and no one would care for them like I do. Who will make monthly selections for her majesty's reading, or help visiting scholars find the materials that they need? And just the thought of never again being able to go to the tea house for cream tea, or browse the booksellers, or go to the annual harvest festival, all makes me incredibly sad. I'm sorry, I know I'm being ungrateful.”
“You're not, you have a life, and you miss it, but Aziraphale, if you go back, and tell them you failed, they could send you on some other dangerously hair-brained quest in the future.”
“Yes, but Crowley, don't you see, it's worse than that. If I say I failed, they could send someone else.”
“Ah, I've handled misguided heroes before.”
“But, what if Gabriel sends more than one? Could you really defeat an entire battalion of knights and soldiers?”
“I'm not sure.”
“And they might just send more anyway if I don't return. This peace treaty is the most important thing that has happened to Angellica in a long time. They can't afford to jeopardize it.”
“So, what's the solution?”
“I don't know, but I hope we can find it together.”
A few days later Aziraphale returned to the royal place, Crowley by his side. He approached one of the Queen's personal servants.
“Is the Queen in her chambers?”
“Her majesty is currently holding court.”
“Thank you.” They made their way through the castle to the audience chamber. Just outside the doors Aziraphale paused, wringing his hands.
“You okay, angel?” asked Crowley.
“I just hope I can pull this off.”
“You can. You can do anything.”
“We can do anything,” said Aziraphale. They shared a smile, and then Aziraphale pushed the doors open. Crowley let out a small gasp. There at the front of the crowded room, seated near the Queen, was Lord Beelzebub, who must have been visiting. Aziraphale took Crowley's hand.
“You can slip out now, before they see you. I can do this on my own.”
Crowley gathered himself.
“No, I can handle them,” he said, squeezing Aziraphale's hand in return. They started to make their way over to the line of people that were waiting for an audience, but the Queen spotted them.
“Sir Aziraphale,” she called, her voice ringing out across the room. Aziraphale stepped forward and bowed.
“Aziraphale, I am glad to see you have returned to us, but why are you here seeking an official audience?”
“I have a matter of importance to discuss concerning my mission, your majesty.”
“Your mission? What mission is this? When I requested your presence a few days ago I was told that you were away visiting a sick friend,” she said, giving the side-eye to Gabriel, who was standing at the side of the room, and now looked very uncomfortable.
“I was sent to the Forbidden Bog to deal with the giant serpent,” said Aziraphale.
”You were sent where?!" The queen practically screamed, throwing Gabriel a murderous look.
“Um, well, we had to send someone...” Gabriel fumbled. Aziraphale took pity on him and interrupted.
“I bring fortuitous news. I have parleyed with the Great Serpent, and they wish to establish a treaty with us.”
“What?!” yelled Gabriel. “That's not what you were supposed to do; you should have killed it or driven it out.”
“Why? When we could make peace with them?”
“One moment, are you telling us the giant serpent is real, and not just a story?” said the Queen.
“Yes, your majesty, they are very much real, and the Forbidden Bog is their home. It is also the home of a very dear friend of mine.” He signed to Crowley, who stepped forward and gave a theatrical bow.
"Your majesty, this is Crowley; he comes as a representative of the Great Serpent."
“Master Crowley,” the Queen acknowledged him.
“Your majesty, I bring you greetings and salutations from the Great Serpent. They find it difficult to leave the bog, so they sent me in hopes that we can negotiate a treaty between our two lands.”
“Don't trust a word that comes out of his venomous mouth,” said Lord Beelzebub, speaking for the first time.
“You know this individual, Lord Beelzebub?” queried the Queen.
“He is a traitorous whelp,” said Beelzebub, giving Crowley the evil eye.
“I once worked for their lordship,” said Crowley “but I have since found a new master.” He failed to mention that his new master was himself.
“He's also a liar; there probably is no great serpent.”
“Oh, but there is,” said Aziraphale. “I have seen them with my own two eyes, and so have many others. How many times over the years have people come back from the bog talking about how they had seen a giant snake?”
“It's tricks, or madness,” said Beelzebub.
“No,” said her majesty, “Sir Aziraphale is correct. Dozens of people have come to this chamber over the years to warn us about the serpent.”
“Lord Beelzebub, you must have believed it yourself, or you wouldn't have requested our help in the peace treaty,” said Gabriel, being unexpectedly helpful. Beelzebub had no answer for that, they could hardly admit that their true reason was to drive Crowley from his home.
“All of this is beside the point,” said the Queen. “I do not even know if it is possible to negotiate with a giant, sentient serpent without knowing what it wishes. So, Master Crowley, what does the Great Serpent want?”
“To be left alone.”
For what should have been a rather simple treaty, it ended up taking several days to draft, with Lord Beelzebub arguing every insignificant detail. Finally an agreement had been reached, and the Great Serpent, and all residents of the Forbidden Bog, including Crowley, were protected. In return, the Great Serpent vowed not to eat any unsuspecting persons who accidentally entered the bog. Instead, Crowley would lead them out to safety. Also, because Aziraphale had helped bring the treaty to fruition, and had found a solution to the problem of the Forbidden Bog, he had now fully discharged his duty, and was no longer a knight of the realm, and he was free to do what he wished.
Once all the papers were signed, and the last of the meetings broke up, Aziraphale led Crowley into the library. When the door clicked shut, and they were truly alone, Aziraphale pulled Crowley into his arms.
“I can't believe we did it.”
“I'm a little surprised myself” Crowley admitted. Aziraphale pulled back.
“I thought you said we could do anything.”
“We can; it's the other people I was worried about.”
“Yes, Lord Beelzebub seemed rather determined to drag it out.”
“They probably did it just to spite me.”
“Hm, most likely, but I don't want to think about that anymore,” Aziraphale said, flitting away. “I'm not sure what to do now, but we should go to dinner to celebrate. Although, I had hoped to have a private word with her majesty first, but she is most likely exhausted at the moment, and I should see her in the morning. It's probably for the best. It will give me more time to decide what to say. I was thinking I would tell her that I would spend four days a week here and three back home, what do you think, dearest?”
“Huh?”
“Oh, maybe it should be the opposite, three days here and four there.”
“Wait, Aziraphale, are you saying you want to come back home with me?”
“Well, yes, you said I could stay... oh, I've misunderstood. You were just offering safety, and I thought you were offering more,” Aziraphale said, withdrawing.
“I was offering more, angel. You can stay with me as long as you like, forever if you want to, but I thought you missed your life, and wanted things to go back to how they were before.”
“I did miss my life, but Crowley, I'd like to share that life with you.”
Crowley kissed him, pouring all the feelings he couldn't quite figure out how to say into it. When they broke apart for air, Crowley said, “We were being idiots there for a moment, weren't we?”
Aziraphale laughed. “Yes, we most certainly were.”
“How about, before dinner, we slither on down to the kitchens and pilfer a few of those raspberry tarts you like so much?”
“Oh, my wily old serpent, you do tempt me!”
“I do, do I?” Crowley gave into his own temptation and trailed kisses down Aziraphale's neck. “And what do you have to say about that?”
“Temptation accomplished.”