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Chapter Text

Luffy’s waiting for him because of course he is.

Sanji had told himself not to get his hopes up during his mad dash from the castle. He’d carried an internal monologue the whole way there about how he didn’t deserve to have anyone still be here and how he was only fooling himself if he expected them to be. Even as he’d let those thoughts run rampant, however, he’d known deep down that he wasn’t running towards nothing.

He sobs when he finds Luffy propped up against Kingbaum’s remains, lying there exhausted and surrounded by dozens of bodies. Then he sobs again in the face of Luffy’s brilliant smile, fat, ugly tears coursing down his cheeks as he watches the other man dig into the destroyed picnic basket he’s offered up like it’s a meal fit for a king.

He sobs a final time when Luffy asks him what he wants, gasping out his desire to return to the Sunny , to his family , as his sides heave and the empty feeling caused by the missing chain around his neck somehow manages to feel like a brand. He barely registers the fact that Luffy is hugging him until he has his face buried in a dark shock of hair.

“All you had to do was say so,” Luffy says, smiling wide when Sanji pulls back to stare at him. “Let’s get you home.”

Home , Sanji thinks. Home . He’s not sure he has one of those anymore, not with the way he’s screwed things up so spectacularly, but if there’s even a vague chance it’s still out there, he’s too selfish to let it go.

“I messed up, Luffy,” he says, his captain’s warm embrace making him loose-lipped in a way he normally isn’t. “I shouldn’t have tried to handle this alone, and I messed everything up.”

“No,” Luffy assures him, his voice steady in direct contrast to that of Sanji’s wavering. “It’s fine. He’s fine. Everyone just wants you to come back, and for you to be safe.”

Sanji barks out a ragged laugh at the idea that the others would be worried about him, that he deserves for them, any of them, to be worried about him after everything that’s happened. “You can’t know that.”

And Luffy - absurd little man that he is - headbutts him. It’s a gentle thing, almost teasing, but it serves its intended purpose in helping Sanji calm down. “Future king of the pirates, remember?” Luffy asks. “I know everything.”

“Yeah, sure,” Sanji agrees weakly, trying his best to play along. “Except how to not eat poisonous fish from what I’ve been told. Did my sister really have to save you from your own stomach, you glutton?”

“Yup!” Luffy replies, completely unashamed. He ruffles Sanji’s hair as he breaks their hold on each other. “She was really nice about it too. I liked her a lot. Definitely better than your brother who was with her.”

“Fair enough,” Sanji says. “My brothers kind of suck, it’s true, and Judge is even worse.” He pauses then, his shoulders tightening as he remembers what else he’d overheard outside his room tonight. “Big Mom’s going to kill them all tomorrow.”

“Pudding told us,” Luffy says, a glint in his eye that makes Sanji think maybe, just maybe he might not get left behind for what he’s about to request.

“They’re - they’re scum,” he says slowly. “I hate them and I don’t consider them family, but,” he bites down on his bottom lip, telling himself it’s now or never. “I can’t just let them die.”

“Well, of course you can’t!” Luffy says, smiling that bright, beaming smile that always makes people think everything will be okay. “That’s just who you are.”

“Jimbei’s got an idea,” he adds, still smiling wide as Sanji dashes the back of his hand over his eyes. “He’s gathering up the others while I get you. After that, I guess we have to go crash a wedding.”

And Sanji has no idea what most of that means, let alone how Jimbei of all people has gotten mixed up in this mess, but hell if he doesn’t feel the best he has in weeks in the face of Luffy’s boundless optimism. 

*****

Sanji’s good mood lasts him through trudging after Luffy for the next few hours, and right up until they reach what is apparently a meeting place between their crew and Capone Bege. Unfortunately, it’s all but evaporated by the time he’s staring up at the imposing gates of the Fire Tank Pirates’ headquarters.

“Luffy …” He starts and stops as quickly as he’d begun, unsure of what to say. Luckily, the matter is soon taken out of his hands when the doors crack open and a tiny, furry figure comes dashing out to meet them.

“Sanjiii!” Chopper wails, bouncing into his arms with a leap that would put someone much larger to shame. “You’re back!”

“Yeah, yeah I am,” Sanji assures him, patting the reindeer’s damp head as he sets him down on his feet. “I missed you too.”

“We were so worried,” Chopper continues on, undeterred. He waves a carton of milk he must have gotten from somewhere for added emphasis. “What were you thinking trying to handle this all by yourself?”

“He wasn’t thinking at all!” Luffy says helpfully, and Sanji tries very hard not to roll his eyes, figuring that’s the least he deserves under the circumstances. “Why are you all wet, Chopper? Did you get a bath?”

“Mhm,” Chopper replies. “Bege won’t see anyone who isn’t clean, apparently. Most of the others are already done, but the girls and Brook are still washing up. You guys will need one too.”

“That damn skeleton had better not be peeping on the lovely ladies,” Sanji warns ominously. His heart really isn’t in it though, and he swallows as he forces himself to ask the question that’s actually on his mind. “Chopper, where’s Zoro?”

“I’m not sure,” Chopper admits. “He was the first one done, and he left the bathroom as soon as he was dressed. He’s fine, though, and around here somewhere. He was the least injured of everyone after Dressrosa.”

As much of a relief as that is, it does nothing to ease Sanji’s concerns about the mosshead’s emotional state. To say nothing of his current thoughts on the concept of divorce. Hoping he hasn’t avoided an unwanted marriage just to destroy the one he actually cares about, he squares his shoulders.

“I need to go find him.”

“You need that bath first,” Chopper says solemnly. “I was serious when I said Bege won’t let anybody in unless they’re clean. That means you too, Luffy,” he adds, ignoring their captain’s over dramatic sigh. “If we want this alliance plan to work, we have to play nice.”

“Smart guy,” Sanji says, giving him one last pat on the head as he makes for the stairs. “Can you show us where to go? I want to get this over with so I can go find my husband and see if he still intends to keep that title.”

He’s pretty sure he can feel both Chopper and Luffy staring at his back, but he ignores them in favour of following the sound of running water. When the scent of soap likewise reaches his nose, he assumes he’s in the right place.

A member of the Fire Tank Pirates arrives to show him where to go and directs him towards a bathing area. He hears Luffy arrive not long after, while a ringing laugh tells him Brook is nearby as expected. Sanji briefly contemplates going to say hello, but opts to worry about getting clean instead.

He scrubs down perfunctorily, not overly interested in drawing his shower out. It’s a shame given that the castle’s bathrooms are quite luxurious, but he has places to be and, more importantly, people to find.

The same Fire Tank Pirate reappears when he steps out of the shower with a towel wrapped securely around his waist and informs him that there’s a wardrobe section nearby where he can pick something out. About to take him up on the offer, Sanji pauses when it occurs to him how many questions his showing up at Big Mom’s castle in a new outfit would raise.

Grateful that his own clothes from the night before hadn’t gotten nearly as damaged as Luffy’s, Sanji waves the attending pirate away and goes to collect them. He shrugs back into his shirt and pants, but pointedly leaves the stupid Germa cape where it is. Ditching that much at least likely won’t draw too much attention.

Finished, he exits the bathing area and finds himself in a long corridor dotted with minimal decor. Unsure of which way to go, he’s contemplating reaching out with his observation haki when he hears the sharp click of heels on stone.

Shuffling further out of the doorway in which he’s been lurking, Sanji turns first one way and then the other until he spots Nami striding down the hallway, clad in a gorgeous, figure-hugging dress and the aforementioned heels. 

His heart leaps, thrilled to see another of his crew again, before he remembers how their last interaction had gone. Shame filling him, he stumbles into the main hallway, half convinced he can once again feel the sting of her palm connecting with his cheek as he tries and fails to meet her eyes.

“Nami, darling -,” he starts, but she stops him with a raised hand.

“Save it,” she says, her voice clipped. “Whatever it is, I’m not ready to hear it yet.”

“Of course,” he says, letting his head hang low. “Whatever you want.”

“Hmm,” she says, coming to a stop with her own head tilted to the side. “You certainly look ready to grovel, I’ll give you that much. That wasn’t a sign to actually start,” she adds when he opens his mouth to do exactly that. “It can wait until we’re done here and back on Sunny .”

Her words shouldn’t make him as happy as they do. It’s abundantly clear that she’s furious with him, and rightfully so, so that should hurt. In reality, he can read between the lines. If she’s saying she expects him back on the Sunny , then that means she intends to forgive him. Eventually. He can live with that.

Suddenly having to fight to keep a smile off his face, Sanji nods his head furiously. “That’s fine. I’ll do exactly as you like. But,” he can’t help but add, needing to get the words out regardless, “I truly am sorry. Please know that.”

“Good for you,” she says, almost dismissively as she starts moving again. “I’m not the only one you owe an apology to, though,” she says as a parting shot. Her shoulders stiff, she angles around him and strides purposefully down the corridor, not sparing him so much as a second glance this time as she goes.

Sanji watches her until she’s out of sight and then turns back in the direction he’d originally been considering. He takes barely a single step, however, before he realizes he’s still not alone. Zoro’s standing at the end of the hallway, watching him impassively.

Swallowing heavily, Sanji forces himself to keep moving. He eyes the other man as he approaches, searching him for any visible signs of injury that hadn’t been there when they’d parted ways in Dressrosa. Zoro looks fine, though, clad in clean clothes, including a black over robe Sanji doesn’t recognize, although it’s similar to his regular green one. His swords, as per usual, are hooked through the red sash belted around his waist, and he’s got his right arm propped on their hilts in the resting pose he tends to favor.

His wedding band, notably, is prominently displayed on the chain hanging around his neck. Hoping like hell that’s a good sign and Zoro’s not about to rip it off and throw it at him in an uncharacteristic need to be dramatic, Sanji comes to a stop just outside of arm’s reach.

“Hey,” he says weakly, and then immediately wishes he could kick his own face in for such a stupid opener.

Zoro doesn’t so much as twitch. “Hey,” he replies. His voice is flat, giving nothing away, and even his posture is unusually difficult to sense anything from.

Sanji wants to scream. He’s used to being able to read every single one of Zoro’s tells. Every tic, every shrug, every frown - all of them speak volumes more than most people realize, and Sanji’s been able to perfectly translate them for years. Except for right now, that is. Today, when it matters most, he can’t figure out a damn thing.

The silence stretches out between them for an uncomfortably long time, and it eventually dawns on him that Zoro’s waiting for him to say something. The swordsman isn’t going to be the one who cracks first, which, under the circumstances, is only fair.

Shoving his hands in his pockets so Zoro hopefully won’t see it if they start to shake, Sanji takes a deep breath. “We should talk,” he says. “We need to talk.”

“So talk,” Zoro replies, his cool mask of indifference still in place. 

He doesn’t say anything further, just stands there with an expectant air hovering around him, and Sanji realizes he means for them to have this discussion exactly where they are. It makes him balk, shying away from the idea of possibly having his marriage implode where anybody could happen by and see it.

“Wouldn’t you rather find somewhere private?” He asks, feeling nervous sweat start to bead along his hairline.

“No.” Zoro replies, in that same flat, inflectionless voice that Sanji is quickly beginning to hate. “Here’s fine.”

And Sanji knows , alright? He is fully aware that he has royally fucked up here, so if Zoro wants to give him a public dressing down then the least he can do is let the other man have that much. It might not count for a lot in the end, but if it’s what Zoro wants then he’s damn well going to get it.

Wishing he’d taken the time to light a cigarette, but equally aware that it’s too late now, Sanji steels himself and braces for whatever’s coming next. “I’m sorry,” he says, hoping like hell Zoro can hear just how much he means it. “I am so, so fucking sorry.”

“I’m sorry for all of it,” he continues on, the words flowing freely now that he’s started, like a tap someone’s turned on that they can’t switch off. “I’m sorry for the note, for not being honest about what was happening, for making you guys chase me into a fucking Emperor’s territory and then having the absolute gall to respond the way I did. I’m sorry for not trusting you enough to consider that there might have been a way out other than what I’d come up with on my own. I am sorry for every single thing I’ve done since leaving Zou.”

“Okay,” Zoro says when Sanji, his sides heaving, pauses for a much needed breath. “But what else?”

Already feeling wrung out and like he’s just run some kind of marathon, Sanji stares at him. The wheels in his head spin frantically, but come up drawing a complete blank. Fully prepared to have this be the final nail in the coffin, he says the only honest thing he can think of. 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

He’s half expecting Zoro to snap at this, to have it be what finally pushes him over the edge and starts the enraged shouting match he’s been expecting since the start of this conversation. Instead, Zoro doesn’t even flinch.

“You were going to marry that woman,” he says, still speaking as calmly as if he’s commenting on the weather. “So. What else?”

As frustrated and overwhelmed as he is, Sanji can’t help but bristle. Never mind that he knows he has no right to get defensive, that’s he’s screwed up and now has to pay his dues; like hell is he going to sit here and have Zoro act like - like whatever the fuck this is and misrepresent the facts.

“I wasn’t going to marry her!” He snaps. “I was going to lie my ass off and go along with Judge’s stupid fucking plan so I could keep everybody safe - Zeff included since they’ve got a target on him back in the East Blue. And I was going to keep lying for the rest of my life, if that’s what it took, which would have done nothing to change the fact that it wouldn’t have been real and it would have meant nothing . I made a vow to you and only you, jackass, and there’s not a damn thing on this island that can take away from that!”

His breath now coming in ragged pants, he locks eyes with Zoro, bracing himself for the inevitable explosion. 

Except it never comes. Zoro stares back at him, his good eye boring into Sanji’s, and then his whole body shudders, the motion flowing over him like a wave, leaving behind something much more open and vulnerable in its wake.

And, oh, now Sanji understands what he’d been asking, what he’d been looking for and why. His own heart seizing in his chest, he makes an abortive move to reach out, barely stopping himself in time because he’s still not sure his touch would be welcome.

“Oh, you idiot ,” he breathes, fingers clenching in a subconscious attempt to grab at empty air. “You ridiculous, stupid, utterly unfettered moron . You can’t have possibly thought I would choose her over you for real! I knew her for less than a week!”

Zoro shrugs, ripping his gaze away to focus on the hilts of his swords, instead. “You could have left when Luffy reached you in the carriage,” he says, fiddling with Shusui’s bindings. “You didn’t.”

“Yes,” Sanji acknowledges. “Because I am also an idiot. I already told you, I know how badly I handled all of this, but that doesn’t mean there would have been one fucking iota of truth in it if I’d gotten up there and recited a bunch of fake vows to Pudding. I love you and only you, you absolute dumbass.”

“I really don’t think it’s fair for you to be throwing all these names at me,” Zoro complains. “You’re being a real bitch, cook.”

Sanji’s heart leaps. Never in his life has he been so happy to be insulted because that’s Zoro, his Zoro, through and through. He can read the posture, the tone, the actual meaning in the words that are being said, and all of them are exactly what they’re supposed to be.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he says, and if there’s a catch in his voice then so fucking be it. This has been the worst experience of his life, and goddamnit, he just wants his husband. “I missed you, and I love you so much.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Zoro says, and the words might be dismissive, but Sanji still hears everything the other man doesn’t say. Especially when he lets go of his swords and spreads his arms wide. “C’mere, asshole.”

Sanji hits him dead center in his chest, letting out an incomprehensible noise of relief when strong arms wrap around him in a grip that feels damn near unbreakable. “I’m sorry,” he chokes out, gasping the words into one burly shoulder as he curls his own arms around Zoro’s neck. “I mean it. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Zoro says, although the tightness of his hold suggests otherwise. “It’s over and done with. We don’t need to worry about it anymore.”

Sanji manages to get out a watery laugh. “Hi, yes, remember me, your husband who worries about literally everything? You know damn well I’m not getting over this anytime soon.”

“Stupid,” Zoro replies, pressing a series of kisses to Sanji’s temple, his cheek, the shell of his ear - basically anything he can reach. “I am definitely not the only idiot in this relationship.”

“Just so long as you’re still in this relationship, I don’t fucking care.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Zoro grunts, changing his hold so that he can cup Sanji’s face in the palms of his hands. “Get over here so I can stop you from saying more dumb shit.”

The kiss when it happens feels like coming home. Sanji had no idea how afraid he’d been that he’d never experience this again until it’s suddenly back on the table. He kisses back with all the fervor he possesses, like he’s starving and Zoro’s just offered him a full course meal.

“I love you,” he says in between kisses. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“Same to you, curly.” Zoro replies, wrapping his arms around Sanji’s waist once more. “Now, prove it to me by never pulling a stunt like this again.”

About to promise exactly that, Sanji freezes when a thought occurs to him. “Uhhh,” he says, tightening his hold on Zoro, lest what he’s about to say make the other man try to escape. “Have you seen Luffy yet, and if so did he tell you about the favor I asked him for?”

Zoro gives him a flat stare. “You mean the one where you want us to save your godawful blood relatives from an ending they seriously deserve?” He asks, his voice as dry as Sanji’s ever heard it. “He might have mentioned it, yeah.”

Wanting to look away but knowing that’s not fair, Sanji chews nervously on his bottom lip. “How - how do you feel about that?”

Zoro shrugs, but makes no move to pull away. “Is it important to you?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’m in,” he says, as easy as anything. Leaning forward, he presses their foreheads together. “Whatever you need, Sanji. We’ll get it done.”

And, obviously, what Sanji needs is to kiss him some more for that.

*****

Capone Bege has a plan to take down Big Mom. Zoro hates it for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that it involves having Sanji waltz back into enemy territory to pretend to go through with this sham wedding again.

As if sensing where Zoro’s thoughts are heading, Sanji turns to look at him where they’re seated side by side on one of the plush couches inside Bege’s meeting room. “It’ll be alright,” he murmurs, bumping Zoro’s shoulder with his own. “I’ll have all of you acting as backup.”

Which is obviously better than what he’d had before, but it’s still hardly ideal. Huffing to show his displeasure, Zoro nevertheless doesn’t protest, well aware that this plan, stupid though it may be, is the best one they have for saving the Vinsmokes.

“Don’t say I never do anything nice for you,” he murmurs back, and Sanji gives him another shoulder bump.

“After this week, I think it’s going to be a long time before I’m able to make cracks like that,” he says deprecatingly. Then his eyes harden unexpectedly. “Having said that, I happen to have another reason as to why I need to see Judge one last time. He’s got something of mine, and I intend to get it back.”

“What - ?” Zoro starts to ask, but he’s interrupted by the discussion between Luffy and Bege suddenly getting animated. Forcing himself to pay attention, he listens as Luffy outlines his plan for creating a distraction during the ceremony, Bege looking increasingly incredulous as he does so.

Next to him, Sanji leans in close and pitches his voice so only Zoro can hear. “They don’t need us for this, and I have to get back to the castle before someone notices I’m missing. Walk me out?”

Zoro glances over at where Luffy is now happily rubbing his hands together in anticipation while various members of Bege’s crew eye him warily. Seeing no signs of immediate danger, he nods. “Yeah, okay.”

A number of the crew glance at them as they stand, but no one moves to block their exit. They fall into step together as they make their way out into the hallway, and Zoro is shocked at how something so mundane can put him at ease after the past few days.

They walk in companionable silence for a bit, until Zoro remembers the question he’d wanted to ask when they were back in the meeting room. “What did you mean when you said Judge has something of yours? You didn’t come here with anything.”

Sanji makes a face. “Technically, I came here with half a pack of cigarettes, the clothes on my back, and my wedding ring. Guess which one Judge had an issue with Big Mom finding out about and that I have zero intention of letting him keep?”

Zoro freezes. “He took your -?”

“Yes,” Sanji growls when he can’t quite manage to finish that sentence. He holds the collar of his shirt out for added emphasis, and Zoro notes with no small amount of horror that the familiar band and chain aren’t there. “He’s been taunting me by carrying it around with him the whole time. I’m getting it back if I have to turn him upside down and shake him until it falls out.”

Zoro doesn’t have anything to add to that, but they’re almost at the castle gates, so it’s not like he’d have had much time regardless. He steals himself as he prepares for a goodbye he has no desire to make.

“Try not to get killed before we get there,” he says as they stand side by side at the gate’s threshold. “You won’t have anyone around to watch your back until the signal goes off.”

“Heh,” Sanji gives him a faint grin. “You worried about me, Marimo?”

“You’re going alone into an Emperor’s territory with your psycho family hanging around too,” Zoro says flatly. “Of course I’m fuckin’ worried.”

Sanji hooks his fingers under Zoro’s chin, using his grip to drag him over to plant a kiss on his cheek. “And people think you’re so grim and gruff,” he teases. “Look at you being all sweet.”

“Cook,” Zoro groans, and Sanji thankfully drops the act.

“I’m kidding,” he says, expression turning serious. “I know you worry, even when you pretend not to. It’ll be alright, though. We can do this.”

“Yeah, I know.” Zoro agrees, figuring he may as well go into this mess at least believing they have a chance. He ducks in to give Sanji a proper kiss, feeling it as the other man smiles against his mouth. “Don’t do anything stupid, curlybrow.”

“Same to you, mosshead.” Sanji replies, and then he’s gone, disappearing down the steps and leaving Zoro feeling bereft in his wake.

*****

Sanji’s actual wedding had taken place on the deck of the Sunny , not long after the celebration for their win on Fishman Island. The decorations had been minimal, the cake had been baked by his own hand, and the crew had been the only guests. Stepping out onto the top tier of the Sweet Cake with Pudding at his side, he can’t help but reflect that, while the Sunny might not have been the venue he’d imagined growing up, he’d take it again in heartbeat over all this pomp and circumstance.

Pudding trills something about how lovely the cake is as he helps her onto the altar. She then joins him in front of the officiant who wastes no time in beginning to recite the traditional wedding vows. Bracing himself for what’s to come, Sanji lets the words wash over him as the seconds tick by.

The officiant comes to a stop, and Sanji realizes with a jolt that the next move is on him. Holding his hands out, he offers to lift Pudding’s veil, sternly reminding himself that the sweet, shy woman in front of him is merely a facade, and that the real thing wants him dead.

With her permission, he grips the trailing end of her veil, the gauzy material feeling strange against his fingertips, and moves to raise it above her head. She lifts her head at the same time, blinking up at him with all three eyes, including the one in the center of her forehead.

He freezes, shocked that he’d never seen it before given the time they’ve spent in each other’s company, but he supposes it’s always been hidden by her hair. “What a beautiful eye,” he says without thinking.

She collapses before he’s even realized what’s happening, her knees hitting the floor while her hands come up to cover her face. Almost as an afterthought, the gun she’s been hiding in her dress lands among the fabric with a soft thump.

“What the - ?” Unsure of what to do, he stands there with his hands outstretched, watching as her shoulders start to shake and tears begin leaking out through the fingers she has shielding her face. “Pudding, are you - are you alright?”

“Screw you!” She shouts, her voice muffled by her hands. Meanwhile, in his head, an annoyed voice that sounds like Zoro’s is wondering what he’s doing worrying about someone who’s trying to kill him. “Just shut up, you idiot!”

It dawns on him then that she hasn’t fired yet, which means there’s been no signal for Luffy and the others to move. Weighing his options, he’s halfway to picking up the gun and firing it himself when his observation haki flares.

Barely dodging in time, he sees a splash of red coat the nearby white frosting. Knowing he hasn’t been hit, he thinks for a single, horrified moment that someone’s shot Pudding instead, before realizing it’s the officiant who’s gone down. 

His mind scrambling in a thousand different directions, Sanji has just enough wherewithal to throw himself over Pudding’s prone form, shielding her with his body as the entire cake starts to rock. In the distance, he hears a number of familiar yells, now understanding that his friends have arrived.

“We need to get out of here!” He says, shouting to be heard above the din of the cake collapsing. “This thing is coming down.”

Pudding makes no attempt to move, so Sanji, knowing full well he can’t leave her like this, gathers her up in his arms and leaps over the edge of the cake. Getting his feet beneath him, he skywalks out of range as quickly as he can, carrying the still sobbing woman as he goes.

“I don’t mean to be rude, my dear,” he tells her, doing his best to adjust for her weight, “but it would be extremely helpful if you could pull yourself together.”

He catches sight of a number of the crew as well as the Vinsmokes, still seated at their table, as he darts by overhead. Spotting a more secluded area that’s yet to be damaged by fallen debris, he aims for it, landing on one knee as he carefully lowers Pudding to the ground.

“Are you alright?” He asks, which is when she raises the gun she must have picked up without him noticing in their mad dash from the cake and aims it as his face. “Crap!”

He dodges as she fires at him repeatedly, screaming at him that this is what she really is, her entire face now on display. It finally dawns on him what her problem is as she yells, and he feels a great swell of pity bloom in his chest when he does.

Eventually the gun runs out of bullets, so he approaches her, his footsteps oddly loud in the face of all the other noise echoing around them. He watches her as he stops in front of her, slowly sinking down onto one knee. 

“So,” he says quietly, “your family did a number on you too, huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she snaps, angrily dashing at the tear tracks on her face. “You’re an idiot who was supposed to die today.”

Sanji glances around at the chaos unfolding around them, guests and guards alike scattering in every direction as various combatants square off, and allows himself a faint chuckle. “The day’s not over yet. You might still get your wish.”

Clearly against her will, Pudding chokes out a strangled laugh. “Why did you have to say it?” She says, once again wiping at her eyes. “All my life no one’s ever called me anything but a freak, so what makes you so special?”

Sanji offers up a tired laugh of his own. “There’s nothing special about me,” he says. “You’ve just got a bunch of assholes for relatives. Trust me, I can relate.”

Apparently having given up on cleaning her face, Pudding mutters something he can’t make out and begins climbing to her feet. Ignoring the hand he offers in assistance, she eyes him warily once she’s standing, like she’s waiting for his next unexpected move.

“You are … very different than I was led to believe,” she says finally. “We underestimated you.”

“I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment,” he says, flashing her his most winning smile when she laughs, seemingly in spite of herself. “Am I safe in assuming you’re no longer going to try and shoot me the second my back is turned?”

Her cheeks tinting, Pudding chews on the corner of her bottom lip. “That’s what I should do,” she says quietly.

For his part, Sanji shrugs, no longer worried. ‘Should’ hardly accounts to ‘will’, and anyone looking at her now would be able to tell she’s had a change of heart. 

Opening his mouth to say as much, he’s distracted by the sight of one of Big Mom’s henchmen flying overhead, his limbs flailing in a graceless arc as he plummets to the ground with a heavy thud, an all too familiar figure following him not long after.

Pudding shrieks as Zoro lands beside them, though Sanji can’t tell if it’s with fear, rage, surprise, or some combination of all three. Having a one-eyed, bare-chested lunatic arrive out of nowhere while wielding a sword in his mouth is likely to inspire all kinds of feelings in a person. 

“Manners, Mosshead!” He snaps while Pudding sputters next to him. “At least have the common decency to introduce yourself to the lady.”

Zoro stares at him, even going so far as to take Wado out of his mouth to allow him to gape properly. “What the fuck would I do that for?” He demands. “Besides,” he adds, giving Pudding an annoyed look, “we’ve already met.”

Oh right, Sanji had known that, hadn’t he? Whatever, if anyone asks he’ll chalk his brief memory lapse up to the stressful situation. “Regardless,” he says aloud. “There’s no excuse for you frightening the poor woman half to death.”

Zoro rolls his eye. “She’s not scared,” he says dismissively, and Sanji has to admit that a quick glance at Pudding tells him the swordsman’s probably right. His sort-of-bride looks confused, but she’s hardly still falling to pieces. 

In fact, as Sanji watches, she visibly pulls herself together, straightening to her full height and crossing her arms over her chest as much as the ruffles on her dress will allow. “You knew I was supposed to kill you,” she says, her words a statement and not a question. “Then why did you come?”

“Because he’s a fucking bleeding heart who wants to save his shitty former family,” Zoro supplies helpfully.

“The Vinsmokes, I see.” Pudding quirks an eyebrow at the swordsman. “You obviously don’t approve.” She notes. “So, what’s your excuse?”

His mouth curving up in a mocking smile, Zoro eyes her right back. “Well, I wasn’t about to let you go and steal something of mine, now was I?”

“Excuse me?” Sanji barks. “Something of yours ? Fuck off with that crap, shit swordsman, or you’ll be sleeping in the crow’s nest for a month.”

Zoro meets his unimpressed scowl with one of his own. “It was to have and to hold until death do us part, asshole! You’re fuckin’ stuck with me.”

“Oh my god,” Pudding says, her gaze bouncing back and forth between the two of them like a spectator at a sporting match as she catches on to what they’ve just said. “Oh my god, what ?!”

“Ah, yes,” Sanji says, his ire fading to something more akin to embarrassment upon being reminded that they have an audience. “Pudding, I’d like you to meet the, uh, at times very unfortunate, love of my life.”

He waves a hand weakly to try and encapsulate Zoro’s … everything. “Honestly, your guess is as good as mine most days.”

“Hey!” Zoro protests, affronted. “That’s not what you were saying earlier when you were falling all over yourself to apologize for getting us into this mess.”

Pudding blinks a number of times in rapid succession. “I …,” she tries faintly. “I don’t know what to say.”

“How about, ‘I promise to stop going around trying to marry other people’s husbands’?” Zoro suggests, ignoring the exasperated glare Sanji gives him. 

“She didn’t want to marry me any more than I wanted to marry her,” he says, rolling his eyes for good measure. Turning to Pudding, he gives her the kindest look he can muster at the moment. “You should get out of here,” he says. “Things are only going to get messier, and you don’t want your mother thinking you’ve switched sides.”

Pudding nods, but what comes out of her mouth is, “You proposed to me,” like she can’t quite wrap her head around what’s happening.

Ignoring Zoro’s resulting guffaw, Sanji does his best not to blush. “And I feel genuinely sorry for lying to you, but I’m afraid I was only trying to make the best of a bad situation and buy my crew’s freedom - including this idiot. Now, I really think you should go.”

“You’re right.” Pudding agrees, but even as she’s gathering up her skirts to make it easier for her to move, she’s still shooting furtive glances at him and Zoro. “I’m … sorry?”

Zoro’s muttered “You should be” is largely drowned out by the sound of the battle unfolding around them, but that doesn’t stop Sanji from stomping heavily on his foot regardless. “Damnit, cook! What now?”

“Be polite , you brute,” Sanji insists, watching Pudding as she darts away, somehow managing to avoid the worst of the fighting. “The poor woman’s been through enough. She couldn’t bring herself to shoot me just because I said something nice about her.”

“Let her spend a few hours alone with you. She’ll get over that real quick.”

And Sanji knows that’s their usual banter Zoro’s doing there, but now that it’s only the two of them here, he can’t quite manage to block out the nagging sense of self-doubt that’s worrying away at the back of his brain. Licking suddenly dry lips, he turns to the other man, a tentative question already forming as he moves.

“Don’t.” Zoro says before he has a chance to get the words out. “You know I’m only joking.”

Sanji deflates like a stuck balloon, relief washing over him. “You’re such an asshole,” he says weakly.

“Mhm,” Zoro doesn’t bother denying it. “I’m an asshole who loves you, though. Fake marriages be damned.”

“Whatever,” Sanji mutters, knowing full well he’s blushing. In need of a distraction, he looks around the battlefield, taking stock of the situation, and it’s not long before his eyes land on the Vinsmokes where they’re still seated at their assigned table with a number of high ranking Big Mom Pirates looming over them. “That can’t be good.”

Following his gaze, Zoro gives him a one shoulder shrug. “Depends on how you define good, I guess. Me, I’m fine with it.”

Only half paying attention, Sanji smacks him on the shoulder in question while his eyes remain trained on his relatives. From what he can see, none of them are moving or making even the slightest attempt to fight back. Well aware that isn’t normal, he frowns.

It’s because they can’t, he finally realizes. His gaze roaming over their bodies, he sees that both Reiju and Judge - the two he can see the best from this angle - are encased in some kind of purple substance that has them trapped in their chairs. Given that they’re likewise frozen in place, he figures it’s safe to assume that the same stuff is restraining his brothers as well.

“They’re going to execute them,” he says faintly, his heart starting to speed up in his chest as he sees a bunch of the Big Mom Pirates draw their weapons and take aim. “They’re going to shoot them in broad daylight.”

“Looks like,” Zoro agrees. Making no move to do anything, he stays where he is instead, clearly intending to follow Sanji’s lead. “Give the word, cook, and we’ll handle it however you please.”

For a moment, just a moment, a small, dark part of Sanji wonders if it might not be better to simply let events unfold without getting involved. His family are not good people. Hell, with the possible exception of Reiju, it’s likely not much of a stretch to call them evil. He could probably prevent a lot of people’s suffering in the future if he lets this happen.

But he’d also never be able to live with himself if he didn’t at least try to save them. A quick glance at Zoro tells him the swordsman knows this as well, the way the other man hefts his blades into position speaking volumes. 

“Your call,” he says. “I’ll follow wherever you go.”

Suddenly overcome, Sanji does something he’s never done before and kisses him right there in the middle of the battlefield, completely indifferent to the fighting waging around them. “I really fucking love you,” he says when he pulls back, his arms now looped around the other man’s neck. 

His holds on Shusui and Kitetsu prevent Zoro from grabbing him back, but the way he nudges their foreheads together says plenty all on its own. “Same here,” he promises. “Now let’s go save your stupid family.”

Nodding, Sanji releases his hold and focuses again on their targets. Stamping his feet experimentally, he shoots Zoro a look over his shoulder as he prepares to start running. “Watch my back?”

Zoro grins at him from around Wado’s hilt, the third sword now out to join its brethren. 

“Always.”

*****

Sanji carves a path through everyone between them and the Vinsmokes, utterly flattening anyone who gets in their way. Zoro’s never seen him like this before, and where he supposes he should maybe be a little worried, what he actually feels is a smug sense of satisfaction. Judge is about to get an eye opening experience where the son he let get away is concerned, and Zoro’s delighted that he gets to see it happen.

Big Mom has started screaming as anticipated, the sound piercingly sharp even at this distance, and a number of her children have become distracted by the noise. Out of the corner of his eye, Zoro sees Carrot and Chopper moving up with the Vinsmokes’ stolen raid suits in hand, preparing to strike the moment they’re free.

That part of the plan Zoro had almost argued against, not liking the idea of providing such powerful weapons to people who are essentially their enemies, but Luffy and Sanji had both insisted so he’d allowed himself to be overruled. He just hopes the owners of said suits don’t turn on them instead.

Up ahead, a trio of Big Mom’s sons, all of them swordsmen, are advancing on Sanji with their blades drawn. The blond meets them face on, but because of this doesn’t see the huge man in blue approaching him from behind. 

Zoro remembers this guy. He’s got some kind of devil fruit powers, and he’s one of the Big Mom Pirates’ heavier hitters. Knowing Sanji already has his hands full, Zoro runs for the newcomer with all three of his swords drawn.

The big guy senses him coming, turning at the last minute to avoid Zoro’s initial strike. “Damned Strawhats,” he shouts as he dances back out of reach. “You idiots have no idea how badly you’re going to regret interfering with this wedding.”

“Pretty sure we do actually,” Zoro replies, shifting from foot to foot as he considers his best possible angle of attack. “And we’d have regretted it a lot more if we’d done nothing.”

“Fool,” the man spits, and Zoro shrugs.

“I’ve been called worse by better,” he replies.

The man snarls at that, and then rubs at the embossed buckle on his belt, his fingers quickly disappearing as a cloud of smoke sprays forward, eventually coalescing into a vaguely humanoid shape. Unimpressed, Zoro snorts. 

“Is that the best you can do?” He asks, the words somewhat garbled thanks to the sword hilt in his mouth. 

In answer, the man rears back, the smokey figure doing the same before it charges at him. Fully expecting this, Zoro meets it head on with all three swords, arching his body away from a blow designed to pummel him and bringing his blades down on the thing’s head.

It dissipates entirely under the brunt of his attack, wisps of smoke scattering in every direction and inadvertently creating a wide open path for him to charge at the man in blue. Clearly not expecting this, the man scowls and leaps backwards, putting more distance between the two of them.

Zoro waits for the man to charge, but instead he huffs out an irritated snort and darts even further away. It takes him a moment, but eventually he realizes the man is heading in the direction Pudding had gone. He briefly considers following to see if she needs help, but just as quickly decides she’s on her own.

Turning, he watches as Sanji dispatches the last of the three enemies he’d been facing and then takes a running leap towards the table where the Vinsmokes are trapped. Both of his feet ignite as he spins through the air, landing with a vicious crack that shatters the purple substance that had been encasing the family.

Sanji doesn’t move at first, standing towering above the Vinsmokes as they scramble out of their seats, and glaring at Judge who’s gaping up at him in shock. He says nothing as Chopper and Carrot hand out the suit canisters, his gaze turning disdainful as his siblings take them. He continues to say nothing as the suits kick on, only finally leaping away with an unimpressed huff once he’s certain his relatives are moving on their own.

Zoro knows he should probably leave it be at that. Sanji’s done what he’d come here to do, and his own exit is indication enough that he feels no need to discuss things further - at least not while the battle is ongoing. Zoro, however, feels the urge to rub a little salt in the wound and finds himself moving over to the table.

The younger Vinsmokes have scattered. Armed with those weird powered suits of theirs, they’ve bolted from the table and launched themselves into the fray. The same cannot be said for their father, however, who’s still standing near the chair he’d recently been trapped in, looking for all the world like a man who’s just lost everything he’s dreamed of.

Which, Zoro supposes, as he dispatches a series of guards, while at the same time keeping a wary eye on Judge, is exactly what he is. The King of Germa had needed this alliance if he’d ever hoped to achieve his goal of dominating the North Blue, and his whole plan had just come crashing down around him.

Unable to dredge up so much as a scrap of sympathy for the man, Zoro nevertheless keeps at least part of his attention focused on him. This is why, when a freakishly tall woman wearing a massive, floppy hat, raises a sword at Judge’s unguarded back, he’s able to vault over the table and meet her blade with two of his own.

The woman rears back in surprise, clearly not having anticipated any pushback, and her eyes narrow when she spots the haki coating Zoro’s arms and swords. He can see as she weighs her options, and isn’t overly surprised when she whirls away, likely in search of an easier target.

He watches until she’s safely out of range and he’s determined that no other enemies pose an immediate threat. Only then, does he turn and examine the man he’s just saved.

The first thing he notices is that Judge looks nothing like his son. Zoro’s never seen an image of Vinsmoke Sora, but he can only assume Sanji - and the rest of the children for that matter - take after her. There’s not a lick of Sanji in his birth father, which is an oddly relieving notion.

The second thing he notices is that Judge is glaring at him with an expression that is absolutely dripping with disgust. His dark, heavy brows are furrowed beneath his war helmet, and he’s looking at Zoro like he can’t believe he’s daring to breathe the same air as him.

Unbothered, Zoro removes Wado from between his teeth and slips it into the  sheath, turning with Shusui and Kitetsu still in hand, so the old man can look his fill. He can tell the exact moment Judge notices the chain looped around his neck, and feels a smug sense of satisfaction at the resulting twitch, no matter how minute.

“You’re the Pirate Hunter.” Judge says finally, and Zoro has to snort at his use of what Sanji always likes to say is the most ridiculous of his titles. “Roronoa Zoro.”

“Yeah,” Zoro drawls lazily. Nothing about this man deserves his respect, and he intends to make that fact abundantly clear from the get go. “And you’re the poor sucker who Big Mom pulled a fast one over. How’s things?”

A muscle clenches in Judge’s jaw, and his hands flex like he’s considering whether or not he wants to try and wring Zoro’s neck with them. “Is that,” he says tersely, his eyes flitting briefly to Zoro’s ring a second time, “any way to speak to your father-in-law?”

Zoro barks out a laugh. “My father-in-law’s back in the East Blue, and we get along just fine, thanks. You’re a sperm donor whose opinion is irrelevant at best.”

“Then why did you …” Judge visibly balks at the idea of suggesting Zoro had saved him. “ … offer your assistance?”

“Because Sanji wanted to protect you all from Big Mom.” Zoro answers easily. “And while I’d have been just as happy to leave you to die, I will say I appreciate how you’re going to spend the rest of your lives knowing you owe your entire legacy to the kid you thought was useless.”

“I can assure you,” Judge growls out through clenched teeth. “Today has done nothing to change my opinion of him.”

“That’s your problem, not mine.” Zoro says, refusing to allow himself to be baited. “So long as Sanji knows his value, I could care less what you think.”

“Insolent.” Judge says, and Zoro shrugs.

“I prefer the term pragmatic, but again, I really don’t give a fuck about your opinion.” He flashes an absolutely shit-eating grin. “It’s about as relevant to me as it was to Big Mom.”

For a second he thinks he’s pushed too far and that Judge is going to attack him, but the air around them erupts into chaos once more as Big Mom starts screaming again. In the distance Bege is using his devil fruit powers to transform into a giant castle, shouting for everyone to take shelter inside him.

Brandishing his remaining blades, Zoro shoots Judge a disdainful glance of his own. “Go or stay, I don’t care, but if you and your actual children want a way out of here, we’re willing to let you come with us.”

His piece said, he takes Wado back out again, clamping his teeth around the hilt and flinging himself into the crowd that’s between him and the castle. He has more important places to be.

*****

Bege’s castle is shaking under the onslaught of the Big Mom Pirates, the windows rattling and cracks appearing in the stonework as Sanji scrambles inside. A quick glance around tells him that most of the crew is accounted for, although Luffy’s just coming in now and he doesn’t see Zoro anywhere.

That last bit sends a sharp spike of panic through him, but he’s soon distracted when all four of his siblings slip into the castle, somehow managing to land gracefully even as dozens of bullets follow in their wake. Even worse, Judge is right on their heels.

“Congratulations on not getting your moronic asses killed,” he snaps, meeting Niji’s glare with one of his own. “I don’t suppose any of you saw our remaining crew member while you were out there, did you? Huge, green hair, was probably getting progressively more undressed as the fight went on?”

His brothers and sister all stare at him blankly, but Judge’s eyes narrow in annoyance. “If you mean your swordsman, he was ahead of me the last time I saw him.”

Wonderful, Sanji thinks, choosing to ignore the emphasis on the word ‘your’ for now. His dearly beloved idiot has likely taken one of his classic wrong turns and is quite possibly halfway to the Whole Cake Chateau by now. 

“Anybody want to draw straws on who has to go track him down?” Franky snickers.

“Dibs not me!” Usopp yells, which is the exact moment Zoro opts to burst through the still open window, his swords flashing in every direction as he lands in a deep seated crouch. “Oh, well that was easy enough.”

“That’s everybody then,” he adds brightly. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

“We’re already doing that, Usopp,” Nami says dryly.

Sanji tunes out their bickering, his attention now grabbed by Judge who’s making his way over to him, parting through the crowd of people like he thinks they’re beneath him. He comes to a stop barely a few feet away.

“Why did you do it?” He asks without preamble. “You owe us nothing, we’re practically enemies. So, why save us?”

Sanji considers and discards various responses, but in the end goes with the one that feels the most right. “Because I’d never have been able to look my father in the eye again if I hadn’t. He’d have been so ashamed if I’d sunk to your level.”

Judge’s eyebrow twitches, and Sanji allows himself a brief moment of satisfaction as he tilts his head to one side. “However,” he says slowly, “I’d be lying if I said that was all it was. There’s something I need to get as well.”

Ignoring everyone else, he steps carefully around the debris coating the floor, heading straight for Zoro. “You said before that you wanted to see me handle a sword,” he says, giving Judge a disdainful glance over his shoulder. “Personally, I think that sounds like a good idea.”

He stops once he reaches Zoro, who’s standing with Kitetsu and Shusui in hand, Wado clamped firmly between his teeth. Taking a deep breath, he holds up a hand. “You mind, Marimo?”

Zoro stares at him, his single eye boring into him like it can see straight inside his soul. He holds Sanji’s gaze for a long moment until his lips curve up in a feral smile. Then he spits Wado into Sanji’s outstretched palm.

Sanji sucks in a deep breath, surprised in spite of himself that Zoro had been willing to relinquish the most beloved of his swords. If he needed any proof that they’re going to be alright, this is it. “You never do things by halves, I’ll give you that.”

Zoro’s answering grin turns into something a little more genuine. “Hurt it and I’ll feed it to you.”

“Deal,” Sanji says, chucking him lightly under the chin with his free hand. Then he turns, fingers carefully wrapped around Wado’s hilt, and marches back to where Judge is standing. 

Swinging the sword in a casual arc that nevertheless confirms he still remembers what he’s doing, he brings the blade up until it’s resting mere millimeters always from the old man’s chin. “Hand over. My ring.”

Judge’s eyes zero in on the blade now centered firmly in front of his face. Slowly, he brings a hand up and reaches into a pocket of his jacket. Inch by inch Sanji’s chain and the ring strung along it come into view. 

“You,” Judge says as he tosses the items in Sanji’s direction, “are the single greatest failure of my life.”

Catching the ring with a relieved sigh, Sanji takes a quick moment to inspect it. Once satisfied it’s unharmed, he pins Judge with a look, allowing a smirk to crawl over his features. “That’s a label I’ll wear with pride.”

Judge narrows his eyes. “I was right to make you give up the Vinsmoke name,” he spits.

Sanji shrugs, unconcerned, and hands Wado back to Zoro, who sheathes it, rather than leaving it out. “How lucky for us both that I prefer Roronoa then.”

He eyes the chain critically, noting with no surprise that Judge hadn’t bothered to fix it after he’d snapped it off his neck. Sliding the ring free, he tucks it away in a pocket to be repaired later, and slips the slim gold band over his finger. 

His ring now safely back where it belongs, Sanji pins Judge with a look. “You and I are done. For good this time. If you barge back into my life again because you’ve come up with some other way you think I can be useful to you, it will go far worse for you than today has. Stay away from me, from my crew, and, also, from my father .”

“You’re going to call off whatever attack dogs you have waiting in the East Blue,” he says, eyes flashing. “Consider it payment in kind for saving your miserable hide today.”

He holds Judge’s gaze until, for the first time ever, the bastard blinks first. “Very well,” he grits out, gesturing at his remaining children. “You have a deal. The old chef will be left alone, and we will assist in protecting the rearguard while everyone escapes.”

That last part is an added bonus Sanji wasn’t expecting, but he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He nods to show his acknowledgement and watches as Judge and his siblings proceed towards the exit. His brothers say nothing, barely sparing him a glance, but Reiju makes a point of eyeing his wedding ring, a small smile lurking at the corner of her mouth.

He breathes out a sigh of relief once they’re gone, allowing himself a scant few seconds to lean back against Zoro while the swordsman puts Shusui and Kitetsu away as well. 

“Y’always got to be the dramatic one, don’t you?” Zoro rumbles, one hand coming up to curve over Sanji’s hip now that it’s empty. “Nice job of going over the top like usual, cook.”

“I had a point to make,” Sanji says icily. “And I think I got it across rather well.”

“Plus if you want dramatic, Zoro, you’re one to talk,” Usopp pipes up. Sharing a look with Nami, the sniper shoves his hands in his pockets and rolls his eyes. “Ask him what he tried to convince me to do when a bunch of us were trapped in Big Mom’s dungeons earlier.”

“It was a perfectly reasonable idea,” Zoro protests, getting huffy.

“In no world is you asking me to cut your hands off a reasonable idea, no matter the circumstances,” Usopp retorts. “It was like that thing with Mr. Three from Baroque Works all over again.”

“Only that time it was his legs,” Nami sighs, rubbing at her temples. “I was pinned along with him, remember?”

Sanji stares at Zoro, aghast. “Do I even want to know?”

Zoro groans. “It made sense in context. We all had our hands trapped and Pudding came in to gloat about how they were leading you into a trap and were going to kill you.

Sanji frowns. “As touching as that is, this is why I can never leave you alone for too long, you have a ridiculous habit of trying to hack off your own body parts when not under proper supervision. Not to mention the one time you succeeded.”

“For the millionth time, I didn’t cut out my own eye!”

“As I wasn’t there at the time, I have only your word for that.”

Relieved laughter echoes throughout the room, but only lasts a moment. Squaring his shoulders, Sanji looks at everyone who’s stuck their necks out to help him. “I owe you all for sticking by me when I asked you to get involved in this mess,” he says frankly. “And now I think it’s time for us to get the hell out of here.”

A ragged cheer rings out, and Sanji turns to Luffy, who gives him a bright, sunny grin in return.

“Alright, Captain, what’s our next move?”

*****

They nearly die about a dozen times over while escaping the Tea Party. It’s not a record for them, but it’s up there, and by the time they’re in sight of the Sunny , Zoro’s ready to put Whole Cake Island behind them forever. Goodbye and good riddance as far as he’s concerned.

Which, of course, is no doubt why Pudding shows up out of the blue on a flying carpet, her sister Chiffon in tow, and the both of them babbling about how Big Mom is on a rampage and the only way to stop her is by recreating the destroyed wedding cake.

Zoro doesn’t really believe in God, but some part of the universe is clearly laughing at him.

Pudding wants Sanji to help her with the cake, convinced that between the three of them they can pull it off. Sanji himself doesn’t seem as certain, but he’s adamant he’s willing to try if it can help save the Totto Land islands from being destroyed.

“It’ll be fine,” he says, already making to scramble his way onto the carpet after they’ve come up with a plan to rendezvous on Cacao Island where the cake will be built. “I’ll take care of this part, and I’ll be ready to leave when you guys arrive to pick me up.”

“Yeah, no,” Zoro says, reaching out to grab him by the wrist before he can get away. They lock eyes for a moment, Sanji already opening his mouth to list the reasons why he needs to do this, when Zoro cuts him off with a wave of his other hand. “I’m coming with you.”

Sanji blinks. “You don’t bake. You don’t even like cake.”

Both those points are true and if Zoro thought there was any way of talking him out of this stupid plan he’d be going for it, but he knows better. “I’m not coming to help with the cake,” he says. “I’m coming to watch your back.”

He trusts Chiffon at this point, but Pudding’s still a wildcard and she’s the stronger of the two sisters. Add that to the fact that Sanji would once again be completely alone in enemy territory, and it’s just not an arrangement Zoro can live with.

“I won’t get in the way,” he says then, still not having released his grip on Sanji’s arm. “You know I can stay out from underfoot in a kitchen.”

“When you actually bother to try,” Sanji retorts, which is fair enough. It’s possible, after all, that there have been times where Zoro has very deliberately set out to be a distraction while he’s trying to work. “But alright, moss for brains, I’ll allow it this time.”

“You’re too kind.” Zoro mutters, but he scrambles onto the carpet after Sanji regardless, meeting Pudding’s annoyed glare until she turns away with a huff and tells the thing to start moving.

The carpet lifting up sends a swooping sensation through Zoro’s stomach that’s not entirely pleasant, but then they’re off. The Sunny fades out of sight behind them, and Sanji, Pudding, and Chiffon begin discussing the ingredients they’ll need for the cake. Since that has nothing to do with him, Zoro folds his arms over his chest and does his best to concentrate on the flight.

At Cacao Island they’re greeted by a couple dozen bakers who’ve also been enlisted to help with the cake. Pudding uses her freaky devil fruit powers to mess with their memories and make them think that she and Sanji really did get married. Zoro tries unsuccessfully not to be annoyed by this.

“Pretty sure she wishes that were the truth,” he mutters in Sanji’s ear as he works on his portion of the cake. “She keeps making eyes at you.”

Sanji stops stirring the mixture just long enough to shoot an incredulous look over his shoulder. “Please tell me you’re not choosing today of all days to develop a jealous streak,” he says, returning to his stirring with renewed vigor. “Marimo, this really isn’t the time.”

“I’m not jealous, I’m right,” Zoro retorts. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Pudding make an aborted move in their direction, her mouth opening and closing like she wants to say something. By his count that’s at least the third time she’s done so, and he’s amazed that Sanji hasn’t noticed. “She’s into you, cook, and I don’t think even she knows how to feel about it.”

“She’s been through a lot today,” Sanji says dismissively. He sticks a finger in the pot in front of him, licking cream off the digit and frowning at the result. “This still isn’t ready. Go see if you can find me some more milk, will you?”

Staying exactly where he is, Zoro grabs the nearest available baker by the collar, dragging the much smaller man over until he’s properly within earshot. “Oi, cook says he needs more milk. Go and get him some.”

The baker squeaks as he’s released, almost losing his footing in surprise, but he recovers fast enough that Zoro’s reluctantly impressed. “Right away, sir!” He barks, skinny chest sticking out as he practically radiates an air of helpfulness.

Zoro watches him run off, hopefully in the direction of the requested milk, and doesn’t bother hiding his eye roll. “This place is so fucking weird.”

*****

They finish the cake and get it to where it needs to be, successfully using it to stave off Big Mom’s wrath and save the islands of Totto Land in the process. That hardly means they’re out of the woods yet, however, as Zoro and Sanji soon learn from a frantic Nami via transponder snail.

Luffy’s back in the mirror verse fighting the most dangerous of Big Mom’s sons to keep him away from the rest of the crew. Zoro hadn’t had much contact with Katakuri during the wedding ceremony, but there had been no mistaking the power rolling off the man even from a distance. He has faith that Luffy can beat him, but who knows what shape their captain will be in once he’s done.

Even worse, though, the Big Mom Pirates have prepared for any eventuality. They also must have been spying on the Strawhats’ plans somehow because they know full well which island Luffy will be aiming for, and have destroyed every mirror around except one placed right in the city square and surrounded by their crew on all sides.

“This isn’t good,” Sanji says from where they’re holed up in an alley off the main square, the location such that they have a perfect view of the mirror, “There have to be dozens of them, if not hundreds.”

“Sure,” Zoro acknowledges, thumbing Wado’s hilt in anticipation. “But there’s both of us.”

Sanji shoots him an exasperated look over his shoulder, frowning around the unlit cigarette in his mouth. “Cocky much?”

“No.” Zoro replies, and leaves it at that. 

“Yes, you are, and you’re going to get yourselves killed if you go out there alone,” Pudding pipes up unhelpfully. She’s still, irritatingly, present despite the fact that the cake is done and gone. Not to mention she keeps making puppy dog eyes at Sanji.

Sanji, that is, who continues to remain oblivious. Zoro’s not sure if he’s thankful for that or not. He just knows that the longer they stay here, the more disgruntled he’s going to become.

He glances at the clock, pleased to see that they’ve got mere minutes left before Luffy’s expected arrival, and contemplates drawing his swords now to be ready. “Not much longer now,” he says, ignoring Pudding’s dire prediction about their fate.

She makes a face at him, clearly unimpressed, and refocuses her attention on Sanji. “I understand why you want to do this, and I respect it, but would your captain really want you to die for him?”

“He’d die for us,” Sanji replies, a note of certainty in his voice that Zoro’s pleased to hear. “And besides,” he adds, offering her a gentle smile, “Mosshead there is right. Our odds are better than you think.”

“Having said that,” he continues, his expression sobering, “you should leave while you can. You’ve successfully managed to convince your family that you’ve been fighting on their side all night, and you’ll undo all that hard work if you get caught near us.”

“I know,” she admits, wringing her hands awkwardly. “It’s just … I would be sad to see you get hurt.”

Zoro suspects that was a singular ‘you’, but he keeps his mouth shut so as not to have Sanji kicking his face in for slighting the woman.

For his part, Sanji gives her another of his warm smiles, although a nasty part of Zoro is pleased to note it’s the kind he reserves for friends only. “Likewise,” he says, “which is why you should go. You’ve done everything you can. The rest is up to us.”

Pudding eyes him for several long moments, her shoulders eventually drooping slightly when she confirms he’s serious. “Alright,” she says, and then to Zoro’s horror she stretches up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to Sanji’s cheek. “Take care of yourself, Blackleg Sanji. For all it’s been strange, I’m glad to have met you.”

“It’s Roronoa,” Zoro huffs when she gives him barely a nod as she turns to leave. He feels a smug sense of satisfaction when she stumbles briefly at the comment, and watches until she’s out of sight, wanting to make sure she’s really gone.

“What?” He asks when finds Sanji watching him with a knowing look when he finally turns back around.

“Nothing, dear,” Sanji replies, his resulting smile edged with mockery. “Nothing at all.”

Zoro grunts, barely resisting the urge to cross his arms over his chest like a pouting child. “How much longer?”

His face clearing, Sanji looks at the clock. “It should be any minute now.”

Or more like any second, Zoro thinks. The clock strikes the hour, booming out across the plaza, and a familiar figure bursts out of the mirror, flinging the woman who controls the damn things into the crowd as it goes.

Zoro doesn’t need anyone to tell him that Luffy’s on the verge of collapse. Looking seriously the worse for wear, the younger man launches himself into the air to try and get away from the group of enemies, but it’s obvious he doesn’t have enough left in the tank to get very far.

He and Sanji share a look before leaping as one out of the alley. Sanji heads up, sky walking towards their struggling captain, while Zoro aims for the crowd, sending about a dozen people scattering as he lands on top of some twit in a bowler hat weilding a scythe. 

“I can carry you both!” Sanji shouts from up above him, an unconscious Luffy now secured under one arm as he stretches the other one out for Zoro to take.

“Not and fight at the same time, you can’t.” Zoro barks, cutting down a trio of those weird pawn soldiers when they try to rush him. “You keep Luffy, I’ll use the rooftops.”

“And when we run out of those?” Sanji demands, even as Zoro suits action to words and leaps into the air, coming down with his feet planted firmly on a nearby tiled roof. “The city ends at the docks, dumbass. We still have to reach the Sunny .”

“We’ll sort it out when we get there, now get moving!”

“Oh you do not get to give me orders.” Sanji snaps, but he’s listening nevertheless, his long strides eating up the air as he heads for the docks. “Just because Luffy’s down for the count doesn’t actually mean you’re in charge, Mr. First Mate.”

“That’s exactly what that means,” Zoro protests, gathering his legs beneath him and jumping to the next house. It’s not an ideal path, but it’s at least a little better than being down on the ground with the entire Big Mom army. 

“Not where I’m concerned, it isn’t,” Sanji sniffs, adjusting his hold on Luffy so he can better angle himself to continue their argument. “Rank hath its privileges, but so does marriage.”

“Are you people seriously doing this right now?” Asks one of the Big Mom Pirates, another one of the pink ones with the scythes, albeit a woman this time. “Show some respect for the people who are trying to kill you!”

“What does that even mean?” Sanji demands, dodging out of the way of her attack, while simultaneously providing Zoro with the space to take aim at her. “You people are ridiculous.”

“That and they won’t stop coming,” Zoro says, annoyed. He dispatches the woman, watching idly as her scythe goes spinning to the ground, but there’s dozens more family members following on her heels. “This isn’t good.”

“Yeah, and neither is that,” Sanji says. He points a finger towards the docks. The Sunny is barely visible on the open water, her image blocked by a number of Big Mom’s ships which are now between them and their way out.

“Fucking great,” Zoro snaps, swiping at another attacker who’s gotten too close. “I don’t suppose you’ve got any bright ideas on how to handle this.”

“No, and since I’m the brains to your brawns in this relationship, that’s probably not a good thing.” Barely managing to evade a couple of the airborne Big Mom Pirates, Sanji lands behind him, the two of them standing back to back as the crowd closes in. “Well, I guess we had a good run.”

“Shut up,” Zoro retorts, or starts to, rather. His words are drowned out by a deafening explosion, and when he glances back at the water he finds that all of the enemy ships have been reduced to so much floating wreckage. “What the fuck?”

“Oh, I don’t believe this,” Sanji says, and following his gaze, Zoro sees a quartet of different coloured blurs flying straight towards them.

“Please don’t tell me that’s what I think it is,” he says. “I’m going to be really fucking put out if your asshole siblings end up saving us.”

“Then I won’t tell you,” Sanji mutters, making an annoyed noise when the blurs resolve themselves into his brothers and sister, the four of them landing in a protective circle around them. “Son of a bitch.”

“You should take your injured friend and get off this island,” says the redhead whose name Zoro had never bothered to learn. “The whole place is now our target after what they tried to do to us, and you don’t want to get caught up in that.”

“I can assure you, I don’t want to get caught up in anything to do with you people, let alone whatever’s about to happen here,” Sanji replies. “But how, exactly, do you suggest we get out?” He asks, gesturing first at Luffy and then Zoro. “I’m not leaving either of them behind.”

“Take Luffy and then you can come back for me,” Zoro starts to say, but the red headed brother cuts him off. 

“It won’t surprise me if you’re not strong enough to carry them both at once,” he says, his voice indifferent. “If you are, though, we’ll keep Big Mom’s people from attacking you while you run.”

“Because you people are so trustworthy,” Zoro grumbles, not even bothering to correct the claim of Sanji’s perceived weakness. He’s well aware that the cook is plenty capable of carrying both him and Luffy back to the ship. It’s just a question of whether or not his back will be safely covered to let him do it.

“I can understand why you’d doubt Ichiji,” says Reiju, “but you’ve seen me help before. I promise you that we’ll all do so now.”

Zoro gives Sanji a look, raising his eyebrows in a silent question. The other man is quiet for a second, and then nods in agreement. “It’s our best bet.”

“Fine,” Zoro grits out. Sheathing his swords, he hikes his right arm high enough for Sanji to get underneath it and curl his free hand around his waist. “We’ll do it your way.”

“How sweet,” Reiju coos, smirking when Zoro glares at her. “And so well-heeled.”

“I’m your dreams,” Sanji says before Zoro gets a chance. He tightens his grip, his fingers digging into Zoro’s side as he shifts his feet on the spot, coiling the power in his legs as he launches them out of the circle and into the air.

“I am not going to miss them,” Zoro grunts, bracing himself against the awkward gait of Sanji moving across the open sky. 

“And you only knew them for a few hours,” Sanji replies. “Now imagine spending the first eight years of your life with them.”

“No thanks,” Zoro says. Looking back over his shoulder, he watches as the four Vinsmokes position themselves between their fleeing trio and the Big Mom Pirates, the siblings effortlessly deflecting multiple attacks as the distance between them lengthens. “Though I guess I can appreciate the save.”

“We saved them first, and from their own stupidity, no less.” Sanji declares. “Combine that with the hell most of them made my childhood and I’m going to call us even at best.”

“Fair enough,” Zoro concedes, happy to not have to owe a debt to the family. He points ahead of them, where the Sunny is growing larger upon their approach. “There she is.”

“Home sweet home,” Sanji agrees. “And certainly a nicer sight than that hellhole,” he adds, nodding towards Germa’s flagship, where it’s keeping itself between the Sunny and the remaining Big Mom ships. “God, what a nightmare.”

Zoro pokes him to try and direct his attention elsewhere. “S’almost over,” he promises.

“Yeah,” Sanji says. Adjusting his heading somewhat, he tucks his legs under him as the Sunny looms in the distance. “Are you good to jump from here so I can make sure Luffy doesn’t get jostled too badly?”

“Sure,” Zoro tells him, unconcerned by the approaching ship. Shifting carefully, he unhooks Sanji’s arm from around him, squeezing his hand once before letting go and letting the lawn rush up to meet him.

“Zoro!” Chopper shrieks, running over with Usopp and Brook hot on his heels. “You’re back. Is everyone okay?”

“The marimo and I are fine, Chopper,” Sanji says, touching down next to them, “but Luffy’s going to need your attention.”

Chopper bellows something about major blood loss, already grabbing for his medical kit, while Brook and Usopp carefully lean Luffy’s battered form up against the railing to give him space to work. On a positive note, it looks like the man is waking up, at least if the way his snoring has stopped is anything to go by.

Turning to look for Sanji, Zoro finds him staring over at the Germa ship, tension coiling over his body while it sails parallel to the Sunny . As Zoro watches, a tall figure with bandages covering half of its face steps up to the battlements and yells for the now stirring Luffy.

*****

What’s so good about him?

Why risk your life just to get him back?

He’s Germa’s failure!

His skin doesn’t work as a shield. 

He’s a cook with no pride in his royal blood.

He’s easily moved and puts his life on the line for the weak!

Judge’s words, howled from the top of Germa’s ship, carry over the sea for the entire crew to hear. Unable to block them out, Sanji curls his hands into fists, schooling his face into an expressionless mask, refusing to acknowledge even the possibility that they might have an effect on him.

Meanwhile, Luffy, already covered in bandages but forever undeterred, climbs to his feet. “Goodbye!” He shouts, waving wildly. “Thank you for your help!”

Sanji chokes, and on his own ship, Judge does the same, gaping at the Strawhat captain’s refusal to agree with his points. “Why don’t you say something?!” He yells, obviously wanting a real answer to his questions. “Straw Hat!”

A familiar heavy arm drapes itself over Sanji’s shoulders, providing a comforting weight as his former father continues to shout insults and demands from the rapidly disappearing battlements. Catching Sanji’s eye, Zoro flashes a wild grin before turning his attention to Judge.

“Oi! I’ve got all the answer you need right here!” He bellows, raising his free hand in a one-fingered salute that sends Sanji sputtering. “Get fucked, you one-eyed haystack!”

“Marimo!” Sanji squawks, but it’s too late. Around them, most of the Strawhats, plus Carrot, take up the cry, spitting insults and taunts at the King of Germa as they sail out of his reach. “All of you, that’s enough! You’re being ridiculous.”

“Nah,” Zoro disagrees, leaning in so he can smack an obnoxious kiss to Sanji’s cheek. “They’re just telling him what he needs to hear, same as me.”

“Uh huh,” Sanji shoots back, smacking him lightly for good measure. “Do that again, and I’ll divorce you.”

“Liar,” Zoro replies, his voice loaded with more affection than Sanji is used to hearing from him as he ducks in for a real kiss this time. “You’ve told me how much you love me, like, at least ten times today,” he adds as he pulls back.

“I sincerely doubt that,” Sanji says, even as he moves in for another kiss. “Your imagination must be playing tricks on you.”

He steals whatever reply Zoro tries to make right out of his mouth, kissing him deeply until the crew turn their taunting shouts to the two of them - demands that they get a room coming fast and furious while the ship continues to flee Big Mom’s territory.

Sanji breaks away with an embarrassed laugh, certain his face must be flaming red even as Zoro’s hands settle on his waist and refuse to let him move very far. Safe in his favourite embrace, he glances at each member of the crew in turn.

“Thank you,” he says simply. “I know it’s not enough, and I promise I’ll find a way to repay every one of you, but for now - just thank you.”

“Except you,” he adds, grinning cheekily up at Zoro over his shoulder. “You’re legally obligated to support my terrible decisions, so you were only doing what you were supposed to.”

Zoro headbutts him, but gently, in a manner that’s clearly meant to be affectionate. “And I’d do it again in a heartbeat,” he says.

Sanji’s had years to adapt to Zoro’s habit of saying whatever thought is passing through his head out loud, but now more than ever he basks in the warm glow of the idiot’s knack for being accidentally romantic. “Yeah, yeah. You love me, or whatever.”

“There’s no whatever,” Zoro counters, pressing a kiss to the skin behind Sanji’s ear. “I just love you, stupid cook.”

“ Bros ,” Franky sobs, tears streaming down his face as he tries and fails to stem them by rubbing his forearm over his eyes. “This is the most super cute thing I have ever seen, but you gotta stop! I need to start patching Sunny up, and I’m getting all distracted.”

“Why don’t you let me help you with that then,” Robin says, curving both hands around one of the cyborg’s elbows and beginning to bodily move him away. “More hands make less work, and I have hands to spare,” she says with a quiet laugh.

“That’s a good idea,” Nami pipes up, turning herself to move for the helm. “And while you guys are doing that I’m going to check our heading and make sure we’re staying on course. The last thing we need is to stay in Big Mom’s territory any longer than necessary.”

“I could not agree more.” And that’s Usopp heard from. The sniper watches as Franky and Robin disappear into the hold, no doubt in search of any tools they’re going to need, but rather than follow them, he turns to Sanji instead.

“Hey,” he says with a soft smile. “Do you want me to take a look at your chain for you?”

It takes Sanji a moment to figure out what he’s referring to, but when he does he immediately reaches into his pocket, fishing around until he finds the broken necklace that’s been resting there since Judge had handed it back. “Do you think you can fix it?” He asks as he hands it over.

Eyeing it critically, Usopp holds the chain in the direction of one of Sunny’s lamps, obviously wanting better light. Then he smiles. “It’s just a couple of broken links. I’ve got some spares down in my workshop, as well as the tools I’ll need. Give me a few minutes and I’ll have it as good as new.”

“Thank you,” Sanji breathes, relieved. He returns Usopp’s smile with a nod of his own, and watches as he too proceeds to disappear into the depths of the ship. Then he turns to the remainder of the people on deck. “Well, what about the rest of you? Is anybody hungry?”

His question is met with a resounding chorus of yeses and the sound of running feet as Luffy, Chopper, Carrot and Brook all dash off in the direction of the galley. Feeling lighter than he has in days, he moves to follow them, only slightly surprised when he finds Zoro’s hand slipping into one of his own as he goes.

“Sappy, Marimo,” he teases, glancing sideways at the other man as he tangles their fingers together. “You keep this up and I’m going to start thinking you missed me.”

“‘Course I did,” Zoro says, again in that flatly direct way of his. “Might have an ulterior motive, though.”

“Oh?” Sanji cocks his head to the side, curious. “Do tell.”

Zoro shrugs, not breaking his grip even as it makes the angle kind of awkward when they start climbing the stairs. “Figure it might be a good idea to hold on in case you try and hit the roof when you see what Luffy did to your kitchen.”

Sanji freezes in his tracks, an icy feeling suddenly clawing its way up his back. He turns to Zoro with wide eyes.

“Come again?”