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For you, and you alone

Chapter 17: Step by step

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

10 days later

As Alec pushes his brother's wheelchair toward the main door, he can't help but feel his stomach clench in anguish; he feels as if he could just throw up all over his own feet. He is worried sick. The crucial moment has finally come, they are heading to the hospital and tomorrow Jace will finally undergo his long awaited, albeit unbearably scary, surgery. Only yesterday, they went for a last meeting with the surgeon, who explained the procedure in detail to them. He spoke about a sort of balloon they would insert somewhere in his back and some probes to see inside his spine; he said the word “neurological” a bunch of times together with other things that Alec couldn’t really catch. It was just terrifying. Conversely, Jace looked calm, almost impatient to get it over with. As he is right now. Alec is so proud of him. Céline is not at home; Jace had the opportunity to talk to her in the morning, before Isabelle took her to school. He explained to his daughter, in a reassuring and honest way, that he would be away for a few days, he would get his back and his legs fixed at the hospital, that in the meantime, her Auntie and Uncle Alec would take care of her. They have already told her the truth about Jace’s condition and about what happened to her mother, even if in a soft, delicate way, suitable for a child. Jace also told her that when he returns home he will have to do a lot of gymnastics, as he already has been doing with Alec, but with a sort of special teacher, who had to teach him how to walk again. Céline had shown herself curious, calm and confident at his father’s words, not at all scared or concerned. Why should she be; after all, they have never lied to her.

"Okay dad. As soon as you learn how to walk, then, can we go to the beach?" Jace nodded, blinking back the tears; he was so proud of her. Alec and Isabelle were waiting outside Céline’s room, still able to hear them, looking at each other without saying a word. The air was charged with emotions that didn't need to be said aloud.

They finally got to their car; Isabelle had already put Jace’s bag in it before leaving, so Alec only has to help Jace get in the car, settle him on his seat, and slip the wheelchair into the trunk. They are ready to leave. At first, they stay in silence, Alec drives looking lost in his thoughts, and Jace looks in front of him quietly. Maybe they have already talked about the surgery, about the possible aftermath, about their hopes and their fears long enough.

But suddenly Jace turns his head to look at him.

"Alec ..."

No, maybe they are not done talking, after all.

"Yes? Is something wrong?"

"No, no, I just wanted to tell you one thing."

"Ok."

"Well, I just want to tell you that from now on it's on me okay? You took me, all of us actually, all the way here, steadfastly and unwaveringly. You’ve been our rock, the best brother and the best uncle that could exist. If Cèline is so brave, confident and happy, well, it's all about you, and Izzie and Max too."

"Jace… It’s not… you are a great father, if only you could see yourself. You never gave up and you have been doing a really good job with her. I mean it.”

"Okay, that's enough please. Otherwise, we'll cry again and I don't think that would be wise ’, for one because you are driving and also I need to get to the hospital safe and sound. But I wanted to tell you. Just this. That we've come this far together and now it's up to me. I'll do my best, Alec, I'll walk again, soon, and you and Izzie will be able to think about your own life too. By the way, maybe I didn't tell you, but I'm happy for you and Magnus. Something has changed in your mood in the last few days, finally something good happened in your life and you deserve it.”

“Thank you Jace… Magnus is… I don’t know… I can’t even find the words to explain how great he is.”

Jace smiles warmly. Seeing his brother in love, for the first time in his life, makes him so happy.

He's not sure why, but Magnus' red-haired friend comes to his mind. Simple association of ideas, perhaps?

“I’m also grateful that Clary has stepped in on our project. You know? I like her, she is… different."

“Yeah, Clary… She is the best. She is already helping me so much. Magnus had a wonderful idea and I’m happy you like her. And for that matter, for what you said before, I know you will do your best, you are so annoyingly stubborn, I’m sure you’ll nail it.”

"I will... I won't disappoint you, I promise."

"Jace, you never could."

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Three months later

As Max pushes his brother's wheelchair toward the main door, everyone is waiting for them outside in the garden. Today it’s Céline’s birthday and they have planned a little party at their place. They invited some of her friends from school and, of course, their own friends.

It’s still early, so the kids haven’t arrived yet, only Magnus, Clary and also Simon with Raphael, and Cat with Ragnor are already there, gathered together around the table, finishing to set the food and the beverages on it.

As they step outside, Max stops the wheelchair and everybody looks at them. A weird silence replaces the cheerful chatter of a second before.  Alec feels Isabelle’s hand grab his and squeeze it. He returns the squeeze, failing to take his eyes off his brother. Next to him, on the other side of Isabelle, Magnus puts a hand on his shoulder, a way of saying I'm here with you.

Jace smiles and he is beautiful, lively, he looks like the Jace of many years ago, confidant, a little cocky, happy.

He grabs the armrests of the chair and pulls himself up, standing in front of everyone. Then he starts walking towards them, slowly until he gets in front of Alec.

“Hey, what are these faces? You have already seen me standing and walking.”

That’s right. They have seen him fight and fall and swear and cry. But never give up. Jace has always been stubborn and determined, a trait he has in common with all of his siblings.

And in the end, he made it. The therapist advised him not to overdo it, but inside their house, he usually moves on his own legs from the couch to a chair or to his bed. But today, it is different, being able to celebrate his daughter's birthday, outside in the garden with his family and friends like that, seemed like an unattainable dream, just a few months ago.

The surgery itself had gone well and they had just to wait to see if his legs would work again.

The waiting, the uncertainty, the fear were exhausting, but Jace immediately showed his will to fight without sparing himself. Alec had never seen him so obstinate, but also so absolutely assured he could do it. During the post-surgery weeks, both Magnus and Clary became a regular presence at their home, with the excuse of talking about the building to buy for their gym and the renovation works to get done afterwards. Besides, they needed to talk about some new ideas Clary and Magnus had about the club, and they asked for Alec’s help. As a result, they spent a lot of time together. Both Magnus and Clary found that they got along very well with Isabelle, and now they literally adore each other, while the relationship between Jace and Magnus is still all about teasing and sassing each other. It is quite fun to witness. Deep down, they like each other, very; it is all a farce for everyone's amusement. As for Clary and Jace... well, they just go on between stolen glances, blushing cheeks, stammering words. Adorable.

They are truly lovely, but Alec and Magnus know they need their time. They would get there, eventually. For now, it is enough to see Jace like that, standing and smiling in front of them, carefree and excited, surrounded by the most important people in their lives.

Eventually, Isabelle grabs him by his shoulder and hugs her brother. Immediately Alec wraps his arms around both of them and Max hurries to join them too, hugging Jace from behind. Magnus steps back and looks at them, feeling his eyes sting with tears.

Céline runs to him, happily.

“Uncle Mags, what’s happening?”

“Hey sweetie. Nothing, they are just happy, so they are hugging each other.”

“Why?”

“Because today is a special day and we are going to celebrate your birthday all together.”

“I’m happy too, then. Can I hug you?”

Magnus crouches down and lets Cèline wound her arms around his neck. Oh, wow, he is melting in a puddle of tenderness; how could he hold back his tears, now? He looks up at the four Lightwood siblings, who have untangled themselves and are staring at them visibly touched.

Magnus hastily gets up, a little embarrassed.

“Ok, ok, now, it’s time to celebrate, right?”

Slowly people begin to arrive and the party gets started. Céline is ecstatic, it is her day and her father has finally learned to walk as he had promised her. Even if after a while he needs to sit down to get some rest.

The day goes by quickly, between laughter and games, but soon Alec and Magnus have to prepare to leave. Tonight they have a shibari event planned at the club. It’s a seminar about safety with some practical demonstrations.

“Magnus, are you ready?”

“Yes sure, we can go. Too bad we miss the most interesting part of the party, though.”

Magnus gestures to Alec to look behind himself.

As he does, he sees his brother talking to Clary. He is sitting on a bench, while she is leaning against the wall next to him, and she is looking at him with her head cocked to the side and an alluring, cheeky smile.

Jace is obviously trying to make her laugh. Alec looks at him fondly. It had been years since he had seen him so relaxed, so flirtatious. Jace had his own way of dealing with women and had always been very successful. Then he got married and settled his mind. He was truly in love with his wife. But if he's finally showing his interest openly, if he's finally obviously flirting with Clary, it's because he has serious intentions and Alec can't help but be happy about that. Jace deserves to love and be loved again.

Alec and Jace have spoken about Clary of course. Jace is quite smitten about her, he finds her outspoken, strong, smart, talented and so damn pretty. She is also great with Cèline, they get along amazingly. At first, it seemed strange to him to think of being with another woman. In the last years the pain for the loss of his wife had accompanied him incessantly and the fact that he saw her resemblance in Cèline, did not help him to overcome his grief. That was all there, in his heart, a precious and sorrowful baggage. But in the end his wife would have wanted his happiness, he was sure of that. Clary had shown some interest in him since the beginning, but remained respectfully waiting. Jace realized pretty soon that if he wanted something more, he would be the one to make the first move. He told Alec he would when he was ready.

“Oh well. I’m happy for them, something will happen soon, seemingly; I hope at least.”

“Sure, my love, Clary is blushing, she is so pretty like this. They are perfect for each other. ”

“Not as perfect as we are, though.”

Magnus laughs and grabs his hand, intertwining their fingers together.

“Let’s go, before we are going to be late. I need a little time to get ready.”

Magnus gets up on his tiptoe to kiss Alec’s cheek and add in a little lower voice speaking in his ear.

“Actually, a little time for you to get me ready.”

The look in Alec’s eyes darkens, as it usually does when Magnus speaks like that.

“Ok, lets’ go.” Alec now seems really eager to flee.

Tonight is a special night for them, as Magnus will be on stage with him for the first time.

When he proposed it to Alec, he was opposed to the idea. He knew that Magnus didn't want to submit in public, let alone at his own club.

But Magnus had convinced him and what he told him was something he would remember forever.

"Alec, look. Until now I thought that I could never show this side of me at the club. And I have always justified my choice quite easily, I had this image of myself there, unchangeable after all those years…. However, I recently realized that that idea is wrong. There is no weakness in submission. No shame.  And the most absurd thing is that I should know it well. I think I've repeated this sentence to my subs so many times. But I couldn't apply it to myself. I couldn’t see myself like that. I was scared, I thought I could do it only with someone who loved me enough to not judge me, as if it was wrong, as if it was something I indulged myself with, but I shouldn’t. But the truth is that I am honored to submit to you, and I would do it at the club for everyone to see that I belong to you. I want people to look at me wrapped in your ropes, cherished and taken care of. Yours is an art, Alexander. So if you want me, I’ll be a part of it, proudly.”

And so, Alec accepted, with a sense of accomplishment he has never felt before.

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The event at the club has gone great. They started in Magnus’ personal room, to get ready, to attune to each other. They were both dressed with comfortable clothes and barefoot. Magnus was extraordinarily calm, all the flirty playfulness he showed at Cèline’s party was gone. Even if Alec had thought of making him come before going on stage, to ease his nerves, it hadn’t been necessary. Once they were in front of the audience, Alec started explaining some general bondage etiquette and then something more specific about shibari. He always kept a physical contact with Magnus, tying and untying his ropes around his wrist, his chest, his legs and his arms. Magnus followed his orders, obediently. He was perfect. Alec highlighted all the most important issues about safety, consent, even emergency procedures. At the end of the demonstration, many people approached Alec to ask questions and to compliment him. Magnus sat completely relaxed in an armchair near the stage, a peaceful expression on his face.

Alec kept checking on him, constantly, he just wanted to take him to his personal room and take care of him.

When the last clients have left, Alec kneeled in front of him.

“Magnus, are you ok?”

 “Sure. I’m fine.”

Alec smiles and reaches out one hand for Magnus to grab. He helps him to stand up.

As soon as they are in Magnus’ room again Alec turns to look at him. Magnus is still quiet, absent. He sits down at his vanity table to remove his makeup. He moves slowly, though, dabbing his face with unhurried movements. But he seems to be so far away.

“Are you sure you are ok? You seem too quiet. Do you regret doing the demonstration with me?”

Magnus looks at him through the mirror, frowning and tilting his head to the side.

“And why should I regret it, you were great Alexander, as usual. It was just the first step, it was easy and it worked for me. I know it was a sort of educational event, but I was relaxed and I felt you close to me all the time. I loved it.”

“No, you were perfect Magnus, amazing. I didn’t praise you enough out there, I’m sorry. You are always so beautiful, but tonight, I don’t know, there was something different in you. And it is still there. I don’t know what it is. I don’t even know if it’s a good thing or not. You don’t seem to be troubled, or upset, but I feel that there is something…”

“Maybe…  it’s only happiness?”

“Magnus…” Alec puts a hint of his Dom tone in his voice and Magnus feels the usual warm deep in his gut.

“Yes, ok, there is something. I wanted to talk to you about something. But I preferred to wait until tomorrow.”

“You know you can talk to me any time, right?”

Alec is standing behind him, with his hands on Magnus’ shoulder, looking at him through the mirror again.

“So, go on. Tell me.”

“Ok… I was thinking… you sleep at the loft almost every night.”

“I love sleeping with you.”

“I hope so. So why don’t make it official?”

“What?”

“You, spending the night? All the nights, I mean.”

Alec’s face relaxes and if he is surprised, he doesn’t show it.

“Ah, ok, sure why not? Actually it will be more practical to commute to work everyday, as the loft is closer to the school.”

Magnus widens his eyes and turns his head to actually look up at him. He answered as if it weren’t a big deal.

Why not? This is what I get after I ask you to move in together?”

“I’m joking silly. I’d love to spend every night with you. Of course I would.”

“Perfect, then. We’ll live together… I can’t wait.”

“Me neither. Were you worried I would have said no?”

“Actually no, I wasn’t. I think we are ready.”

Magnus relaxes backward against Alec’s body behind him and closes his eyes. Everything is so fucking perfect.

Another three months later

As Isabelle pushes his brother's wheelchair toward the main door, she calls out almost shouting.

"Jace, are you ready?" She has gotten bored while waiting for him downstairs, so she is going to put the wheelchair in the trunk of her car, just to do something in advance. Tomorrow she will bring it to the hospital where she works, as Jace doesn’t need it anymore. She and Cèline have been ready for a while; incredibly it is Jace who is taking the longest to get ready and Isabelle suspects she knows why. It's time to go anyway, so when she gets back in, she calls him again.

"Jace, hurry up or we'll be late!"

“Daddyyy!!! It’s laaaate!!!”

Cèline joins Isabelle in her attempt to make Jace hurry up. She is jumping all around, she is so excited, since she is not used to going out with Jace.

Not like that, at least, walking together, side by side. Isabelle told her they are going to a party and that there will be many other kids there. So, she can’t wait to go.

"I'm coming!"

Jace finally appears at the top of the stairs and looks down at his sister and daughter, who are looking at him expectantly. He holds onto the handrail and with a proud look begins to descend the stairs, slowly and carefully, one step at a time. His legs are working fine, sometimes he is still a little unsure on the stairs and he gets tired easily, but he can walk again and it’s amazing. They have just moved his bedroom upstairs again, in the room where Alec used to sleep, before he moved to Magnus’ loft.

After only six month from the day Jace got his spine fixed, they are finally going to the inauguration party of their martial art school.

They succeeded in opening the gym ahead of schedule, also saving a decent amount of money.

Jace’s rehabilitation took less time than expected. Despite the damage in his spine, for all those years he had continued to train his muscles extensively and so effectively that the healing process was incredibly fast. Jace knows he has to thank Alec for all the time he'd spent helping him. If it weren't for his brother’s tenacity and dedication, he wouldn't have gotten to this point so quickly.

One step at a time, literally, Jace has gotten his life back, without hesitation, without fear.

As soon as he reaches her downstairs, Isabelle looks into his eyes, perhaps a little watery.

"So proud of you, Jace."

"Thanks Iz."

"Daddy, are we leaving?"

"Sure hon, let's go."

“You smell good, daddy.”

Isabelle scrunches her face, giggling.

“How much perfume did you wear Jace? You left a trail all the way down the stairs. "

"Shut up!" He throws a deadly stare at his sister.

Isabelle grins with satisfaction. Her suspicions are well founded, after all.

Jace takes his daughter by the hand and they walk together to the car, where a really annoyed and impatient Max has been waiting for them, who throws his hands in the air as soon as he sees them.

“It was time! Come on, we're late!”

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Alec is already at the school, he has been there since earlier that morning. Today is the big day and so much is still to be done. He looks at the big sign outside, hanging above the entrance: Lightwoods Martial Arts School.

In just six months, Alec and Clary had everything done. They worked tirelessly, even becoming friends in the meantime. Clary bought the building that Alec had shown her, and she also helped him with the renovation and redecoration; to everyone’s surprise, she turned out to have a great talent in interior design. Alec wanted to include clear references to Japan, but without overdoing it, without being tacky. He wanted a clean, functional environment where everyone could feel at ease.

Jace was less interested in this decorating aspect, which he thought was perhaps secondary.

Not to Alec; he found his support in Magnus in this, he surely could understand him, as he personally oversaw the layout and design of his club. So, they took care of that together, every detail, almost maniacally.

With Simon's help, Clary also took care of their website, of staff uniforms’ design, of the advertising campaign and the software to run the lessons and the staff’s schedule. She also designed their logo. Alec loved it. It was exactly what he wanted.

In conclusion, Alec and Jace took care of buying all the equipment and tools needed.

Alec was really satisfied with the final result. It was perfect.

Eventually they sold their house in Los Angeles, but they didn’t need any loan at the bank; actually, they saved some money as a college fund for Céline.

It was amazing how everyone had helped them, starting with Magnus and all his friends too. And the most extraordinary thing was seeing how Alec managed to accept that help serenely, without guilt or a sense of inadequacy. Magnus had worked that miracle. Sure, Alec finally understood that the weight of the world wasn't all on his shoulders. For his part, Alec has been keeping helping Magnus with the club, they hired new staff, did the training, and they are still going on with their courses and seminars that are incredibly successful.

Alec sighs. Time is running fast, people will start coming soon and Jace, Max and Iz are not there yet. Where the hell could they be?

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Alec certainly did not expect all this participation. The school is crowded with parents with their children, seeking information to enroll them in courses, but also with a lot of people simply interested in learning some martial art. They have already hired the reception staff and some instructors. Temporarily, Jace would take care of the administrative work, but soon he is going to start taking some classes, perhaps with the little ones. He is almost ready.

The atmosphere is cheerful and carefree, hordes of potential clients keep coming in, and a remarkable number of people have already signed in. Alec is speechless.

He has just finished talking to a couple who wanted to enroll their two children in a Judo class. They seemed enthusiastic about the school. They have just left when Manus approaches him.

"Hey how are you? There is a real assault here!"

"Magnus, have you seen how many people? Incredible. I'm thinking maybe we should add some other classes, you know?"

Alec sounds truly excited, incredulous.

"This place is amazing, Alec. You really did a great job."

"Thank you."

"You know, I think I never told you, but I’d like to learn a little Judo, or maybe Jujutsu?  Something which allows me to try some tight catch on you; I think about body-to-body contact, sweaty muscles tangled together on the floor. I think I may like it."

"What? And why didn't you never tell me? Anyway, what you are picturing is not exactly appropriate for a room full of people."

Alec is evidently trying not to be swayed by Magnus' words, keeping a cold and professional facade.

Magnus chuckles.

"You are so cute when you are serious."

“Don’t flirt with me, I’m supposed to be working here, you know?”

“I know, sorry. Speaking of flirting…”

Alec turns his head and sees Jace and Clary in another room. Too bad the wall is made of glass and everyone can see them. Well, they don’t seem to mind it at all, since they are kissing.

“Oh, finally. It took months, but it seems that they got there.”

“I confess Clary told me she was a little worried, she's been waiting for a move from Jace for a while, but she didn't want to force his hand. I guess Clary was right to wait for him. But I'm sure Jace is finally ready."

"I think he is. I’m so proud of him."

"I love you Alexander. And I'm so proud of you."

“Well, I wouldn't be here, if it weren’t for you."

And Alec, looking into Magnus’ eyes, can't help but think that his life was so complicated before, so hard sometimes and so lonely. And now? Well, it’s still complicated, chaotic, frenetic, but only because it is so full of things to do, to learn, to discover and people to take care of. But now he has someone who looks after him, lovingly. It is so exciting. He can’t wait to live this life together with the amazing man in front of him, who admittedly, can always make his blood boil in his veins  so easily, especially when he looks at him in that really not-at-all innocent way.

"I love you too, Magnus. But please stop looking at me that way, or I’ll take you to the locker room and I’ll make you beg for some… body-to-body contact, as you said.”

Magnus raises one eyebrow.

“And is that supposed to be a threat?”

What a little brat.

Notes:

So, we have come to the end of this journey 🥰🥰🥰
It was just amazing 💖
Thanks for all the comments and kudos, they really make my day, and a special thanks to malecforever1971 who keeps bearing with me with so much kindness and patience 💖💖💖💖💖