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Chapter Text

Phoenix, AZ

The area and the road leading up to the house in Phoenix hadn’t changed at all, Teresa thought nostalgically as the car approached the gates. “I remember the first time you drove us on this road, I kept worrying about what awaited us…as we had agreed to do business together…and live together”. James briefly looked at her and although she could not see his eyes under the sunglasses, the corners of his mouth lifted, and she knew the smile was genuine: “Yeah…I was full of my own trepidations as well!” he said.

He pressed the button on the gate control box and while they waited, he removed the glasses and looked at her: “This is the only place where I have been truly happy…before we set foot in Langebaan”.

“You are always so generous…the only place where you've been truly unhappy too…thanks to me”, she shook her head.

“One tends to remember the good parts, love…it’s way healthier!”, she could hear the smile in his voice, and it made her feel lighter.

Little Traviesa aka Lil’ T was ecstatic to see Teresa again, she was almost running out of the front entrance to greet them, and when she hugged Teresa tight, she said in her ear: “I see this pendejo is still with you!”, to which Teresa replied laughing: “Yes he is…but I go by his last name now, on top of two boys and a girl, so be nice, Lil' T!”

Lil’ T had changed and had ensured the house had changed with her. She had matured, so her greeting of James was professional and polite, her speech sounded like that of an educated person, with full sentences, no slang, and no use of the word ‘like’. James made a mental note to tell Teresa that he was impressed.

Lil’ T wore her hair down in its natural blown color, her makeup was light, her clothes a simple pair of jeans and a grey top, even her nails looked modest in white pearl. She introduced them to her girlfriend, Sofia Caridad, who looked and sounded as professional and as educated as Lil’ T. Sofia was a Finance major from the University of Dallas, just as Lil’ T, where they had met and fallen in love, and currently were specializing in “logistical systems, market movements and cryptocurrency”.

The house had been painted in simple gray scale colors, all furniture was as modern and as angular as one could imagine, and modern art, that required wild imagination to figure out what it meant, decorated the walls.

Color was missing and Teresa felt they had entered some huge business offices. She wasn’t wrong when they saw the working area with more than ten monitors and other gear, as well as several server cabinets full of blinking lights like a plane’s cockpit. Two technical young guys, in their late 20s, were manning the ‘station’ as Lil' T explained. The ‘station’ provided live monitoring of the loads of coke and other products Los Conejos had on the move on more than 50 trucks at any one time between Mexico and the US and in the US itself. James was fascinated by the tech stuff and before Teresa and Lil’ T knew it, he was quizzing Sofia and the tech guys on the details the monitors displayed.

Lil’ T was amused and when Sofia looked her askance as to the level of detail she could get into when answering James’s questions, she pointedly looked at him and said: “Yes, you can tell him anything he wants to know. On one condition though!” When James raised his eyebrows in question, she added: “I need Mr. Valdez here, the registered owner of this property, to sell it to me, before he leaves…I am ready to pay top dollar!”. She tried to sound nonchalant but couldn’t hide the nervousness in her voice. Teresa figured it was due to the mutual dislike her and James had always felt for each other since the day her gang had provided successful protection in jail for Camila when the people James had contracted had failed to do so.

James took a second to consider what was said and then spoke: “What is this place worth now?”

“About $4 million…prices have risen since you were last here”, Lil’ T said. “I can give you cash now or transfer it to any account you want in 10 minutes. We can have the lawyer bring the paperwork by tomorrow morning…just say ‘yes’ please”, she sounded like she really needed the place.

James took a piece of paper from the desk in front of him, wrote down on it and handed it to her: “ This is Kelly Anne’s cell…once she reviews your lawyer’s paperwork, I will sign it…she will tell you where to transfer the funds.” Teresa felt a sigh of relief escape her chest as she had been holding her breath in anticipation of James’s reaction.

“Really?...Thank you James…It’s really appreciated”, Lil’ T sounded happy: “So, red head lawyer is still alive and well….Kelly Anne Van Awken was she, right?” she asked in an animated voice.

“Oh…yeah…only that she is just as blond as they come…the red was a disguise…and her name has been Galvez for years”, he noted and turned to the tech guys to continue the conversation about the use of some infrared gear, while Lil’ T looked at Teresa askance and after her gesture that she would get the details later, Lil’T grabbed Teresa under the arm with “Let’s go have a drink, girl!” and marched her out of the ‘station’ area.

Teresa learned that the winery and the vinelands surrounding it, had been confiscated after Taza’s death due to suspicions of illegal activity and inability to establish contact with representatives of the shell corporation that owned it.

They had a few beers walking around the property and Teresa couldn’t fall in her nostalgic mood as Lil’T kept talking about her big business ideas involving the transportation and distribution networks she and Sofia had created. She was brimming with excitement about her work and thanked Teresa many times for having given her the opportunity to get out and go to school.

“Not that I didn’t end up back in the biz…but now I know I am not just some tonta (silly girl) that men can talk down to”, Lil’ T said with an air of guilt and nonchalance at the same time.

“I see men turned out not to be your cup of tea”, Teresa finally asked.

“ Ha…I knew you’d come to that…I have always known that I prefer women and the gang my uncle ran with was not a place where this information would’ve done me any good…so, I kept it to myself”, Lil’T admitted with a sad smile in her eyes: “You know…it’s too machista of a society…no matter that they have lived in the US for a whole generation now…my family are still Mexicanos in their blood.”

“Is this why you couldn’t stand James?” Teresa probed.

“You were with him…I wouldn’t have been able to stand anyone you were with!” came the answer that was accompanied by a very deep and sincere look.

“No puede ser! (It can’t be), Lil’T…I’m so sorry,” Teresa stuttered realizing Lil’T had felt more than friendly affection for her: “I never had an idea!”

“Don’t worry…it’s in the past…and I knew it could never happen as…ahh…you are straight”, then she quickly continued as Teresa had looked at her strangely: “I mean when I met you and him…it was obvious you were both fighting for the attention of one person…the woman in jail that I had to protect…but there was some tension between the two of you…to the interested observer…this is what I was I guess…it was clear you were attracted to each other”, she finished and took a sip of her beer.

Teresa was speechless as the time Lil’T was referring to, had been full of drama for both of them as Camila had tried to put them at odds with each other on top of them being at odds after Guero’s resurfacing, which had put a dent into their sailing together. She remembered this time of great confusion as they had both gotten used to working together and had started to even enjoy each other’s company.

Lil’ T smiled and went on “I know it never would’ve worked…I know you like them …tall and handsome like…this pendejo”, she grinned and gestured to the house; “You were always sweet on him…ever since you called me here from Dallas ..and I saw you together…you thought we didn't know?...everyone knew …from the delivery boys to the packing girls…you both had this air of satisfaction around you, you know a glow...of two people screwing like rabbits”, and she laughed out right.

“Really?...we were that obvious?”, was all Teresa could say.

“Yeah, sister...the trained eyes don’t miss such details”, Lil’t T chuckled.

“Ok, enough about James and me…tell me about you and Sofia”, Teresa was sure she had been blushing.

“ Me…I love Sofia but am still not sure if she is right person for me…she is very goal oriented and would never talk about any future…”, Lil’ T said in a low voice looking at her feet.

“Relationships are tough…in this ‘life’…but I can tell you from experience that you need to keep your heart open…I met a narco pilot when I was barely 20…I thought he was the love of my life …he provided me some safety and pampered me…but it wasn't until I met …ahh…this pendejo, the tall, dark, handsome one…with his selfless, supportive presence that I started to realize what real love is…” Teresa finished and smiled. As Lil’T kept silent and kept looking at her feet, Teresa added: “You know when you meet the right person… you feel it…and I feel very lucky to have met mine!”

Lil’T gave James two more guns and ammo for their trip south of the border and by dinner time had contacted Kelly Anne Galvez, and after an hour of girl talk had sent her the legal paperwork for the purchase of the property.

Teresa and James were given a guest room on the first floor, which had been used by the either Charger or Tonto when they had lived in the house. Teresa had walked the upper floors with Lil’T pretending to be interested in the décor, but really eager to set foot in the areas where James and she had spent so much time working and building the business together, had made love for the first time and had been happy for two precious months before things had fallen apart. Teresa stayed alone for 30 min on the balcony where James had told her they needed a break after she had accused him of being the mole; she had drunk one more beer and had had such a rueful expression that Lil’T had politely told her to give in to the memories and had gone downstairs. Teresa had shed some tears in the dark, staring at the lights of Phoenix in the distance and feeling the loss and the helplessness she had felt back then.

James’s steps startled her. “I was told you were gazing into the dark from here…”, he ventured…"And as I know what can possibly be circling in your head right now…I think it’s best not to give into it…What do you say?”, he said softly touching her arm.

“I am so sorry…for what I did and said then…I have hated myself for years and I still do!” she said as her eyes welled up and he only shook his head and pulled her in his arms: “I have forgiven you…I had forgiven you before I left…Take a deep breath and put a lid on it…please…Can you do that? We both need it!”. His soothing voice and the heat of his body coming through his shirt, felt like her safe island, the one she always aimed to reach when she ran through the dense fog that used to engulf her in her past nightmares. She had stopped having them some years ago, but now she had had one again last week and it had made her soul tight with angst.

Teresa slept the full night on James’s shoulder as he hugged her and wouldn’t let her toss and turn. She suspected he was worried about her nightmare coming back after the stress with his family, him almost dying, and now the complicated feelings of being in this house and the more complicated ones before their trip to Mexico. However, he said nothing but calming things until sleep took over her and she dreamt of herself running in the green fields of Culiacan with the neighboring kids when she had been not more than ten years old.

Hermosillo

The drive form Phoenix to the border had been uneventful but the border crossing was interesting as they were travelling on passports issued in different countries. Teresa was travelling with her real South African passport listing Culiacan, Mexico as her birth place, while James was travelling with the fake British passport he had secured before the trip. She had to use her full charms to convince the border official that she was returning to her country of birth to deal with paperwork and legal matters as she had been living abroad for a very long time.

When they finally got to the first restaurant area on the highway right after the sign for Hermosillo, they had been on the road for about eight hours straight and both were feeling the need to get out and stretch their legs. James lit up right away and while Teresa went to the bathroom, he contemplated la cerveza fria (cold beer) advertised on a big sign by the restaurant. They looked at each other tiredly and decided that the cold beer and the promise of fresh food was too much to be passed for the sake of reaching Culiacan today.

The restaurant was not fancy, but neat and service was great. The girl attended them right away, James had gulped in the first beer and had her bring him a second one before she had taken the food order in.

After finishing her nachos Teresa sat sipping her drink and staring blankly in front of her. James felt that it was the right moment to bring up the subject of what her plan entailed. She was tired by the trip and the alcohol had made her eyes look larger and mistier, but she fixed them on James and said meditatively, putting her hand over his and curling her fingers over his: “You truly warmed my heart…when you said you wanted to give me a real American passport now…you know…for me to feel like I belong…that I have deserved it…but what I really want…and need…is to get back to my roots”, she gave him a lopsided smile and closely studied his face to see if he understood. As he only raised his eyebrows, she continued: “When I ran, I had nothing…I was a fugitive who was not safe neither here, nor in the place where I ran to…I am a Mexicana…this is my place…this is the passport I need to have…the document that I am really entitled to and I want to get it…and maybe then I can feel like I am not a fugitive anymore…unwelcome in my own county”, she sighed still holding both his eyes and the hold of her hand over his.

“You need closure?” he said nodding slowly.

“Yes”, she replied and briefly closed her eyes thankful that he had understood. She realized that there was a risk identifying herself to the Mexican authorities in Culiacan in the process of applying for her documents, as despite all charges for the murder of the former Governor Vargas against her having been dropped, there still could be ill-wishers who undoubtedly would receive information that she had resurfaced. But James had understood her need, the need that had started forming shape in her mind the moment he had mentioned getting her an US passport, the need which had moved to her heart over the next few days and had given her perspective.

===

They had found a hotel closer to the center of the city, a ten-minute walk form the old town’s central market plaza, in an area full of old colonial buildings, narrow cobbled streets with lanterns and a lot of trees that projected peaceful charm. It was a long hot day and after they had taken showers and rested, Teresa sat on the balcony enjoying the falling dusk. Then she heard the sound of street mariachi music in the distance and her heart warmed, while her eyes suddenly overflew. She wiped them but at this moment James joined her on the balcony and couldn’t hide the surprise in his eyes from seeing her so emotional.

“I am sorry”, she sniffled, “Not sure what has gotten over me…” she mumbled. He rubbed her back in circles a few times and said: “I would call this melancholy…you are back to where you started and I understand you need it to assert…your identity…just be prepared that not all memories will be pleasant…so, love…when you need to cry, it’s okay…I’m here…as long as it makes you feel better.”

“Did you not feel overwhelmed when you arrived in Dallas the week before…after having been gone for over 10 years?”, she asked, wet eyes looking at him.

“I kind of did…but I was too preoccupied with the reason why we were there…and didn’t think much of it…then when we got some answers, Pote and I ended up in a steak house the same night…he was reading my mind when he suggested it…I guess it was the thing I missed most”, and he laughed at his own comment: “but then…I was never exiled from my country…”, he added.

“What do you say we go out to the central market plaza now?”, Teresa asked: “It seems this is where the music is coming from.”

The market, the central plaza and the streets leading to it, smelled of flowers and were lit with colorful lanterns in a festive mode as it turned out to be one of the summer fests held in the city. They strolled hand in hand like teenagers, bought sugary snacks in paper funnels, then ate corn on a cob, called esquites; Teresa even tried the pink cotton candy and they laughed whole heartedly at her attempts to remove bits of it stuck to her cheeks. The Mariachi band was blasting in the middle of the plaza, some people were dancing in front of it, there were flower and candle decorations as well as Malverde icons hanging from the trees, the warm air was full of laugher and the overlapping smells of food. Teresa stopped in front of a jewelry stand and James ended up buying her, in perfect Spanish, a necklace made of light blue stones. He helped her put it on with a smile on his face as he was happy that her melancholy mood had dissipated. Their next stop was at a stand to play “Spin the Pistol” and as she expected, James won, and was awarded a sombrero. They played “Where's the Ball” while a teenage boy moved three cups with such speed that neither of them was able to follow and as expected lost all four bets that they made. Then the dark skinned kid said, “gracias senor” to James and was gone before they had decided if they were done playing.

When they finally made it to the hotel, the open bar by the pool had twinkling lights in the rhythm of the slow tropical style song the live band was playing; the singer’s voice was deep and soothing and after James placed the two cocktails on the table, he pulled Teresa by the hand on the dance floor and into his arms. There were two other couples on the dance floor and a bunch of people at the tables while the singer’s romantic voice filled the air with desire and trepidation. They danced cheek to cheek, and when his lips sought hers for a little play, she responded seeing the smile on his face. He didn’t deepen the kiss, just lingered there, enjoying her warm breath on his and letting the burning tips of his fingers move up and down her back. A few heartbeats later her head rested on his shoulder and as he moved his hand to her face, he realized that she had teared up again. His husky voice in her ear asking her if everything was okay, was comforting, but she couldn’t tell him why she had let her eyes overflow again as she herself didn’t know. He nuzzled her neck and after the song ended, they had their drinks in silence. When she took his cigarette from him, he noticed her hand was not stable; he lit himself another one and without the pressure of words smoked beside her and then took her upstairs.

They had gone to bed, and he had kissed her head and told her to rest. It seemed she had fallen asleep fast, while he lay looking at the ceiling trying to calm his impending worry. He knew enough about repressed trauma and guilt, that could result in paranoia and trigger emotional insecurity and he was certain that her past was full of many experiences that would qualify as trauma, but she had been well for years and he hoped that the onset of stressful events ever since his sister had appeared was the culprit for Teresa’s sudden emotional qualms. He had taken out his phone and was googling the worrisome topics when she suddenly got up and went in the bathroom. James sighed and without a specific reason touched her pillow and got startled at finding it wet.

He tried to ask her a thing or two after she got back to bed, but she didn’t feel like talking and he let her be with a lump in his throat. He was starting to think that her dreadful past had resurfaced when she had set foot in Mexico. She had been wrapped in a happy bubble all these years in Langebaan and he realized that she had never completely confronted her past, had never talked about it, shared it, or received absolution or peace for the things she had done and the things that had been done to her. She had decided she had had no choice but to survive, then had succumbed to the desire to win and had accepted the loss of loved ones in the process of winning as inevitable. The more he thought about it, the more he became certain that Teresa had tucked the horror and the fear away because she had considered herself too strong to mourn the things that her darkened her youth. He knew that facing one’s demons was the common cure for repressed trauma and decided that despite the worry tightening his chest now, he would stand firmly by her side, no matter what they needed to face. He was scared though by the gnawing feeling that she had shut him off, like she used to do when they had met, and the memory of him raking his brain how to pull her walls down made him worry even more.

In the morning as they sipped coffee and ate croissants in the cafeteria by the pool, James made sure she knew she had his full support. His heart lightened when she said that she needed to ‘clearly go back in order to move forward’. Looking him in the eyes, she told him she recognized his worry, but she had no intention of letting the anger and the darkness overcome her. She even shared that despite her fears when he had left Langebaan, the anger and the darkness that had fallen over her soul and had affected her that much had really resulted from finding out that she had almost lost him by the hand of Camila Vargas and not by a random shot.  

Culiacan

The office of the Registro Nacional de Población (National Registry Office) was located on the third floor of a five-story white modern building in the center of Culiacan, where other government and judicial offices were housed. The corridors were buzzing with people of all ages, mostly dressed professionally, carrying briefcases, coffee cups and paper binders.

Teresa and James waited patiently for their turn and when it came, he could see that she was as nervous as he had ever seen her. All she had was her South African passport, no birth certificate, no other Mexican identification. The man behind the counter was puzzled as Teresa had no way to prove she was a Mexican citizen until she quoted her CURP number of 18 digits off the top of her head and asked him to look it up. The CURP (Clave Única de Registro de Población) was a unique identity code for both citizens and residents, however the average person would not remember theirs by heart. But Teresa was not the average person, James caught himself thinking again.

There was no issue finding her by her CURP number and they both felt a sigh of relief, James could swear he heard her exhale slowly and then caught a glimpse of her rub her palms on the jeans. She was handed several forms to fill in and they sat at a table in the grand waiting area, while she filled in data for her deceased parents on her applications for a birth certificate copy and passport.

“These will be ready in 10 to 20 business days, senora. What address do you want them sent to ...or are you coming to pick them up yourself from this office?”, the man behind the counter asked her nicely.

Teresa visibly swallowed and looked at James who was standing next to her: “Should I give our address?” she said in a low voice in English. They were not hanging in Culiacan for that long.

“You need to provide a resident address, senora, as you obviously reside abroad”, the man added: “ The government requires to have a mailing address for citizens residing outside the country.”

“You are a free person, aren’t you?” James said and smiled. She smiled back and quoted their address in Langebaan, South Africa feeling a weight falling off her shoulders. She was a free person, not a criminal, not an exiled individual, a free person who was about to get all that had forcefully been taken from her. Teresa could still feel her heart pounding in her chest as they left the building and walked in the bright sunlight. 

They had a light lunch in a street café, and after paying, James looked at her in anticipation: “Back to the hotel?”, he said.

“No…now is the more difficult part,” she sighed: “I need to visit some places…where I lived…I also need to go to the cemetery where my parents are buried…”, her voice trailed off as she didn’t know whether to ask him to come or to assume he was coming.

“All right”, came the answer. “ Do we need the car or are we walking?”, he said.

“We go back to the hotel to get the car”, she said, and they started walking down one of the main central streets that led straight to the hotel.

===

They parked in front of the four story apartment building in the north of the city, the neighborhood looked sketchy, some of the cars parked along the street were out of commission. Teresa had asked for the keys and had driven in silence for 15 minutes without even turning the radio on. They went up to the third floor and walked the dimly lit corridor to an apartment door. James could feel his heart beating faster and faster, but didn’t dare ask her anything. She looked focused and grim, and her stride was forced and hurried.

She stopped in front of the gray door; her hand was in mid air preparing to ring the bell as she turned to James and said in a barely audible voice: “Guero used to rent this apartment as a safe house”, she swallowed visibly and so did James.

“You are sure that’s what you need?”, he said determined to support her any way he could.

She nodded and rang the bell. An elderly woman opened the door, and an elderly man with trembling hands stood right behind her. Teresa had found her voice somehow and after giving their names to the elderly couple asked if they could enter for a moment as she had lived in this place before. It was a weird request, she knew it, but somehow, she hoped they would agree.

The elderly couple exchanged glances and then the woman said that they were just sitting down for a lemonade and a piece of pastel (cake). They invited them in and as Teresa and James entered, the woman started telling them about how much Teresa looked like their daughter, who was grown up now and had moved with her family to a place of her own. She pointed to the photographs on the walls and as Teresa was looking around the small two bedroom place with trepidation, the man told her they rented it more than 15 years ago, after the previous owner had failed to pay the rent for three months. They had been present when the landlord had kicked the door in to assume occupancy; the previous owner had had the audacity to change the locks without permission. The place had been barely lived in; had sparse cheap furniture and a big dirty mattress, and all these effects had been thrown out. James could see Teresa’s tightly clenched jaw as the man kept talking, but when he mentioned the mattress, her eyes filled up and she quickly got up, excused herself and went outside on the open balcony.

James came up with an excuse that his wife’s family had been chased out of this place and that was the reason for her emotional state and hurried to join her on the balcony. Her eyes were only slightly red when she looked at him and said pointing to the external staircase to the left: “This is where I escaped from…this staircase… Gato was lying there …where the table is now…and Pote…he had walked out…” her voice broke, and her face landed on James’s chest raking with sobs.

He held her tight, caressing her head and back, praying that their coming back here wouldn’t turn out to be an exercise in futility, but rather one in closure. She had cried so desperately twice in his arms before, when her friend Brenda had been killed and when they had made it to South Africa. Despite everything that had happened to her, she had not fallen apart like most would. He prayed that this was the bottom for her and that there would only be up and forward from here.

The visit to the cemetery was much easier on both of them. Teresa still cried a little and after weeding the graves of her parents, they both sat on the grass, and she told him her fogged memories of her parents being gunned at a baptism by the then ruling cartel. She had never known why but was sure her father must have been involved somehow.

“I ran, I remember I was in a white dress, and was out of breath…but I ran and was able to hide…because whatever my father had been involved in…he was being punished…the Culichi way…by removing his whole family off the face of the earth…”, she said in a subdued voice.

“How come they didn’t look for you later?”, James asked.

“I have sometimes wondered myself…I went to live with a tia (aunt)…but not a blood relative…the wife of a dead tio (uncle), my father’s brother…so I think they never located her…we lived in the other side of town…”, she attempted to smile but it didn’t really work out and James only shook his head and put his arm over her shoulders drawing her close.

===

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, it must be true, Teresa mused as she lay on the bed in the hotel room after the long conversation she had had with a lawyer from the ‘most prestigious’ law firm in Culiacan that Kelly Anne had retained for her. She could hear the shower running as James was still in the bathroom. She braced for the coming conversation, then exhaled deeply and got herself the only anejo tequila bottle available in the mini bar. She knew James was hoping she would be making flight arrangement, but she wasn’t ready.

He walked out, towel wrapped around his middle, water drops on his shoulders and arms, hair partially dried and all over the place: “ What did Kelly Anne say?”, he said, still rubbing another smaller towel on his hair.

“She said ‘howdy’”, Teresa smiled at him.

“That all?”, he smiled back.

“I ...actually had to speak to her about another matter…she put me in contact with a law firm here and I spoke to them as well…”, she was eyeing him closely trying to judge his reaction.

He only raised his eyebrows, so she went on: “We gotta stay a few more days…there’s an organization here called Infonavit, meaning the Mexican Workers' Housing Fund and it works to reclaim abandoned properties all over the country”. James’s expression had moved from interested to curious. “The law firm Kelly Anne retained for us…will represent me in my claim to buy the abandoned mansion of the former governor Vargas, just outside of the city.” She said and took a deep breath in anticipation.

James had been to the mansion on several occasions before Teresa had come to Camila in Dallas. He knew the place; its grandeur was amazing. He had been present at Camila’s and Epifanio’s anniversary held at the mansion and the fiesta he had witnessed had left him stunned.

“Why would you buy his property?….From the State, I guess?”, he mumbled, still lost in thought.

“Because I need to tear it down…to erase every trace this family walked this earth…and I want to build something in its place…a facility for abused women…and I would name it after Brenda…maybe then I would be able to put this place behind me…”, she searched his eyes and saw nothing but love: “Thank you…again…for understanding…it’s not gonna be cheap…”, he interrupted her at this moment: “Money doesn’t matter…it’s okay…you spend what you need to spend.”

===

The next morning, they had met the lawyers in their fancy offices in another building in the town’s center and after Teresa had signed a pile of papers, they had left them alone in the conference room for a minute.

“Guero gifted me the house we lived in ...as a birthday present...but apparently he never filed the deed he signed off to me with the registrar office...pinche cabron...no surprise his good intentions were marred by his poor execution...”, she said to James and scoffed.

“Hmm?…You would’ve torn it down too?”, he ventured.

“Possibly…or I would have sold it…but it looks like it has been expropriated and then reclaimed or bought off…as the government would prefer that someone pays taxes on the properties…rather than just keeping them vacant”, she added.

Licenciado Alvarez, their appointed counsel, was a man in his late fifties, with balding hairline and an impeccable suit. He informed them that Tereza Valdez’s application for the reclaiming of the Vargas property located on Calle 36, Culiacan South, had been approved. The funds transfer from the bank in Cape Town had been received at his bank an hour ago and it would take several business days until ownership papers would be ready. Once these had been signed, the design company they would contract on Teresa’s behalf could hire demolition experts, while his office would work with the City to have the necessary permits issued. El licenciado advised that his staff was in the process of interviewing several design contractors and that they would get in touch over the next day or so. He recommended to Teresa and James that they enjoyed Culiacan’s festival this week as it was the last for the summer season.

James followed Teresa into the café bar in the lobby of the building. She perched on a bar stool and ordered two large tequila shots, extra anejo!

“It's hardly noon, Teresa!”, James said raising his eyebrows after hearing her order.  

She shrugged and said nonchalantly: “It's past 8 p.m. in Langebaan, James...bottoms up!”

===

They decided to heed the licenciado’s suggestion and go to the Festival which closely resembled the one they had visited in Hermosillo but was several times bigger. The night was young, the air filled with summer aromas and Latin music, so they both felt close to turning an important page.

There was a parade of people dressed in bright colorful costumes, carrying puppets bigger than themselves or huge burning candles and dancing to the music of bands accompanying the parade. The crowds were getting bigger and bigger and the level of noise higher and higher.

Teresa and James had just finished drinking a glass of gazpacho each at one of the stands a little off of the main parade street when a terrified cry broke the mood. People started looking around with fear in their eyes and James saw the same wild look take over Teresa in a few heartbeats. “Something is wrong!” she whispered clenching his hand to the point of causing him pain: “I hope they don’t start to shoot!” Some people started running away, while others ran in the direction of the loud cry, which came once again.  

James’s instincts had kicked in as he realized that he had only his gun in the back of his pants. He had not looked for escape routes and was not sure if the hotel was to the north or to the north east of the their location.

After a few more beats, the noise of police sirens filled in the air and then two police armed vehicles, lights flashing, appeared in the distance on one of the streets driving at a speed much higher than what would be considered safe. James and Teresa moved hesitantly with the people around them following the police cars along the street which in hundred meters ended in a quiet small garden with a little fountain. The police were in the process of securing the area as people kept coming. Two dead bodies, with dirty blood-smeared shirts hung from the two large trees, one to the left and one to the right of the garden entrance. It was too far to see clearly if they were male or female, but Teresa pulled James by the arm in the opposite direction, shaking and looking like a frightened rabbit: “This is a cartel kill…their tongues have most likely been cut out…let’s get out of here…please!”

===

She was white and still shaking when they got in their room, and he held her in his arms for a while until her heartbeat slowed down.

“I had forgotten that life here…in the narco state…is a daily nightmare”, she mumbled.

“Think happy thoughts,” he said to her: “Imagine...being in your kitchen, you and Pote planning dinner….Kelly Anne and me enjoying drinks on the bar chairs and pretending to care about the details you and Pote are discussing…or think of the kids fighting over decorating the tree for Christmas, and us drinking tequila eggnog …anything not to offend Pote…and listening to Feliz Navidad for the umptieth time…”, his husky voice flowed around her. Then he said with a chuckle: “I’m getting too old to be on the road for so long…I miss our lives already”.

“What do you miss most?”, she heard herself say and lifted her head from his chest.

He smiled and opened the mini bar taking out the new tequila bottles that had been restocked: “Off the top of my head….I miss listening to the boys arguing with Lena....”, he cleared his throat and drank: “Or better yet, I miss trying to hide my amusement watching Pote explaining to Tony why he needs to treat Lena like a lady…and sweating to answer how come they live in the same house if Lena and Lupe aren’t actually his sisters”, which made Teresa laugh out loud as she had missed this particular incident.

Unfazed James continued: “But my most dear one is…hmm…no offence please…trying to hide my amusement when you are trying… in vain… to hide your annoyance when you speak to Suzie in Spanish and she responds in English”. Teresa’s face had registered surprise but it was not clear yet if it was amused or annoyed surprise, however James decided to continue: “And you mumble under your nose something like ‘eso es lo que pasa cuando sigues a tu papa todo el dia’ (that’s what happens when you follow your dad all day long). Their eyes held each other for a brief moment and then they both burst out laughing as they both knew that if he stayed in the house, Suzie literally would walk behind him all day asking questions about everything and nothing.

“Once this is all done, I want you to take me to see…snow”, Teresa said after they had sat at the table and were sipping their second tequilas.

“A chalet in the Swiss mountains”, James said: “for Christmas, if you want…we can all go…see if the kids would take to skiing”, he kept musing. “ But I am warning you it is cold…snow is cold and stays cold…it’s not like it’s cold for you to touch it and then somehow you get comfortably warm”.

“I can stay in the chalet then”, she offered.

“No skiing for you, I guess”, he shook his head affirmatively.

“No…of course not…they have fireplaces in these chalets…I have seen this in a movie…looks very romantic…hot chocolate by the fireplace”, she smiled at him.

“Hmm…it is romantic”, he smiled back: “ And it’s a two hour flight to Paris from the Swiss Alps”, he added and saw her eyes sparkle: “But first... we finish with this hellhole here….and go back home…to see the kids…I miss them very much, Teresa….I have never been separated from them for so long…besides Pote has been back for three weeks now…and I am sure they have forgotten me as they speak Spanish all day... and the boys are on the way of becoming soccer stars…”, and they both laughed again.

===

The next day rolled by and Teresa and James spent the late afternoon strolling in a park close by the beach expecting el licenciado Alvarez’s news. They had walked on the beach, then sat down on the sand to admire the sunset; they had shared a cigarette with their beers looking at the luminescent water of the bay, listening to the small waves crashing on the shore. She had put her head on his shoulder, he had done the same and they had stayed like this for some time in silence enjoying each other’s presence. The smell of seaweed had gotten strong as the breeze had picked up and James had reluctantly pulled her to her feet to go eat tacos at the entrance of the park where he had spotted a street vendor. The park had been half an hour walk from the hotel and she had taken him there to enjoy the view, a thing she used to do when she had lived in Culiacan. They had eaten the tacos on one of the benches close to the water. It was starting to get dark.

James got up and went to the trash bin to throw the garbage out when he heard a screech of tires and saw a grey delivery van make a screeching stop next to the bench where Teresa was sitting, head down browsing on her cell. A guy wearing a black ski mask got out and grabbed her from the back and hauled her kicking figure into the back of the van, while James frantically looked around to see what their escape route might be.

He drew the small gun he had on his ankle and ran across the playground to cut the van’s route despite his injured leg’s loud protests. He ran as much as he could, then he stopped and took a very deep breath aiming at the tires of the departing van. As he had cut the van’s route, it was not more than a hundred meters away. It was a moment of truth as he realized that all his sniper training was meant for this moment. Then he shot the left tire, then the right. He was certain he had hit, because the van careened to one side, then to the other, but he was already quickly covering the distance to it until it came to a stop.

Teresa was so startled by the sudden development that was not able to get her bearings to fight the man holding her in a tight grip until he threw her in the back of the van. Her head hit the side of the vehicle and the man backhanded her at the same time. The blows blotted her sight with red and purple stars. She staggered back in an effort to gain her bearings. The man swung at her again and she caught his arm using the full force of the blow kicking him in the stomach. He plopped onto his belly gulping for air. It was impossible for him to get back on his feet as the van was careening from left to right. She heard shots and the left side of the van slumped as a tire was shot and only a second later the same happened to the right side, making it veer off and come to a screeching halt.

Teresa felt blood spurting from her mouth as she crashed to her knees. The man was up and grabbed her by the shoulders but before he could shove her down, the other masked man at the passenger seat jumped over the front row with a machine gun in his hand and pushed them both aside.

Teresa used the movement to kick the handle of the sliding door and it opened as she was trying to extricate herself out; then she was pulled out by James's strong arms, then he shoved her fast behind him, pushing his chest forward in front the barrel of the gun. The moment he and the man stared at each other over the barrel seemed long; then the man cursed as the driver changed his mind and hit the gas. The van sped away as fast as it could with blown back tires and the sliding door slam shut with the pressure of the speed.

The sight of the barrel gun had caused a rush of adrenaline so visceral that it had made James’s whole body tighten and his head feel light. He breathed as deep as he could, feeling sweat trickle down his back and hands wet on the metal if his own gun. Then he turned Teresa to him in one movement lifting her head, brushing back her mottled hair while his eyes bore into hers and he kept repeating “ I got you, I got you, I got you!” He saw blood into and around her mouth, but she managed a cough with the red coating her teeth, looking grotesque. His breathing was still rushed from the exertion, but he wasn’t trembling anymore, as he pulled a tissue from his pocket, tucked in there from the tacos meal, and handed it to her to wipe the blood and squeeze her nose.

“Is it broken, your nose? Anything else hurt?”, his voice was hurried.

“I hit my head pretty bad…I don’t see clearly, James”, she mumbled squeezing her nose and pulling her head back. He slipped her arm over his shoulder and together they shuffled back to the front of the park, where a single person couldn’t be seen now. 

In not more than ten minutes the world has turned to night, shadows were everywhere when they exited the empty park and walked back in the direction of the hotel. There weren’t many people in the street either, a couple walking hand and hand, three drunk hipsters sitting in front of an entrance on the other side of the street, a few cars passing by, taking no notice of the wobbly duo dragging each other along the sidewalk.

She had given up trying to walk alone and held freely onto his body trying to stay conscious as her head was hurting and she was feeling dizzy. Then she stopped, turned away from James and vomited the contents of her stomach in two struggled bouts. The harsh reality of the situation oozed into him as he realized that she was not only unstable but might require medical attention as her eyes swam when she tried to focus them on his. He heard the noise of a fast approaching vehicle and quickly made the first possible turn.

He dragged them down the alley, twisting through every possible side street, trying to throw off anyone attempting to follow them. He pulled Teresa into the shadows and propped her against the wall, her body was so weak, and she could barely focus her eyes on him. He felt her shivering and could barely hold in his emotions, his angst of having to be here, in dirty bloody Culiacan, being chased by cartel sicarios!

Then he saw Teresa swallow her fear shoving it down, as he had seen her do before in the Life, and the sparkle of the hunted crossed her eyes. He was dismayed that after so many years and even in this dismal moment, her presence felt so powerful to him. She was surrounded by darkness and still managed to burn relentlessly. She looked back at him with intensity that was fascinating and frightening. There was no movement in the alley. Just the acrid smell of filth and urine and rusted iron. He scanned the adjacent buildings for any possible hiding places. Then he saw the whitewashed rolling door of what looked like the entrance of a storage facility and a motorcycle parked in front of it. The door was half a meter above the ground, and he figured whoever the owner of the bike was, they would be coming back soon.

With no further thought he dragged them to it, and straddled it, hands frantically trying to dislodge the panel with the wires so that he could start it. Teresa managed to seat herself behind him and he could feel the weight of her head and body on his. His efforts paid off and he got it started, some skills were never lost, flashing through his mind. Next thing he knew is that they were flying over the bridge in the direction of the hotel on the stolen bike. She was holding onto him from behind, digging into his sides. He pushed the bike to its limit, if that was possible, and he didn’t mind the pain of her elbows digging into him as pain was the only sensation that made sense right now. As long as he was feeling pain, it meant they were alive, and they had a chance of escaping. The noise of another engine had been in his head for a while but was lost now, however he didn’t slow down or look back.

He dropped her off at the entrance of the hotel and got rid of the bike in the next street. He left it besides the trash bins and used several of the large cardboard sheets lying around to cover it so that it wouldn't be spotted from afar.

When he entered the hotel room, Teresa hurried into his arms with eyes glittering with emotion and pain, looking lost and vulnerable. He took her in and wrapped her in all his confused tenderness. Several more heartbeats passed through the air between them. Then the right corner of her mouth twinged upward ever so slightly in something resembling a grimace, half buried in the turmoil of the recent experiences, but still there, stepping on the edges of his doubts and he could no longer keep silent, so he murmured to the crown of her head: “You are the strongest person I have ever met, you know that?” In a few moments she mumbled: “I know self-pity doesn’t solve anything…but I am so out of this life…it’s like I am a different person”, she sighed, wiped her moist eyes blinking with her wet lashes. “This must be a welcome from what is now the Jimenez cartel!” she finally said. “I was wrong to think I could do this quietly”, and then she turned to the direction of the bathroom: “I need a long hot bath”, to which James only nodded.

===

James had taken his cell and had gone to the front room of the suite to research the Jimenez cartel and its boss Alfonso (Affi) Jimenez, El Tiburon (the Shark). He had left Teresa to take a shower and to sleep with no light in the room as he knew lights were not recommended after a possible concussion. He was getting more and more agitated as he read bits and pieces on the history of the Jimenez family for the last ten years and couldn’t shake the feeling that El Tiburon was crazier than Boaz Jimenez had been. However, one thing bothered him specifically: the CIA had tolerated this pendejo for years despite him being supplied by the CIA unfriendly Moreno cartel and distributing through the CIA unfriendly Los Conejos gang in the US. There must be more to the game than I am aware, James thought. Now that El Tiburon had decided to make a kidnap attempt on Teresa Mendoza, who had been out of the game for years, and which attempt looked like pure vengeance, James needed full disclosure of the positions of all players before he could determine if their trip to Culiacan had been a mistake and if there was a risk of it resulting in danger. And this meant that he had to talk to Castel Fioto. This thought was not exciting at all.

Teresa had dozed off for a while after the warm relaxing shower, but she had opened her eyes ten minutes ago and now lay in the bed reliving the experience from the day and wondering if the destruction of everything Vargas would be enough to close the book on her previous life, or the Jimenez would also need to considered. Then her thoughts floated to James, who had saved her yet again and she suddenly felt a longing for him.

===

He heard her call him from the bedroom and quickly opened the door, worry all over his face. She was on the bed, covers pulled up to her chin, looking at him in a weird way that made him worry even more.

“Are you okay? Any nausea?” he said in a hurried voice.

She threw the cover over in one brisk movement and in a single step stood a foot in front of him, naked, save a pair of bikinis, her hair loosely falling covering some of her perked breasts. Her hands pulled his face to hers and she said: “You're too dressed for this!” before her mouth was on his and then her hands pulled his t-shirt up and off. He could feel her stiff nipples on his chest but managed to say: “I'm worried about your head…you may have a concussion.” He heard her reply when her mouth gave him a breath: “I feel fine…get inside and see for yourself!” He could hear the smile in her voice and quivered slightly but wisely didn't laugh.

His hands got her by the rib cage and moved her back to sit at the end of the bed, then glided up her body to reshape her breasts for a few moments. As her head relaxed back and her breath started coming out faster, his mouth went from her neck to her breasts and belly and then he gently removed the bikinis and spread her legs, pushing her back on the bed and getting his mouth to work her as he knew she loved. She smelled of shower gel and the apprehension that had held him seconds before disappeared as her warm body became pliant and gave in completely to him. In a few moments her whimpers turned to moans, so he lifted himself up to remove his shorts and after coming up on top of her and feeling her wobbling breasts under his chest, slid in her smoothly and locked his eyes with hers. He heard himself whisper: “I’m so at home… when I am in you!” and when he saw the invite in her eyes, he started moving, feeling every tryst get deeper and deeper. Her hands held him tight and then he heard her say: “ Despacio, James, mi amor, hazlo despacio (Slow, James, my love…do it slowly)”, so he slowed down his own urge until her fire burned for a while and then exploded, him following her right after.

After they had laid in each other’s arms for a few minutes, James got up and took his cigarettes from the front room. He had taken smoking rooms in every hotel and although he had never smoked inside, he lit up now and exhaled deeply, casting a look at her: “How’s the head?”

She sighed, took his cigarette from his fingers with care to avoid ashing it and took a long drag: “The head’s great…you know…any version of me …older, maternal, drunk, scared…or possibly suffering a concussion …ahh…still loves it when …ahh…you align my wheels!”,  then she handed him the cigarette back, eyeing him seriously, at which point he couldn’t hold his laugh and almost ashed the cigarette on the bed.

He turned to tap the cigarette in the ashtray on his side and said: “I think you’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster!”

“Yeah…one can say that…it wasn’t as enjoyable as the real rollercoaster I went on…” she teased.

“I am serious, Teresa”, his voice was levelled: “I worry…first Pote and me having to leave…then me getting wounded…now this Jimenez pendejo trying to kidnap you…and all past feelings resurfacing after…Vegas…and after coming here…to Culiacan…I understand you needed to visit your parents’ graves and that ugly apartment…I just can’t help but worry if doing this won’t bring back the trauma instead of…ahh…helping you overcome it.” He stopped and waited. As she kept silent, he went on: “I am afraid of your grey nightmare coming back…and all these times that you get so emotional …and just cry for no obvious reason…I want you to talk to me so that you can deal with that!”

She slowly shook her head and looked him in the eyes: “I am scared, James! I am shitless sacred that…”, she nervously bit her lip and he knew she was about to come clean: “…that we’ve had it so good for so long…that something bad, someone from the past will catch up with us and will ruin it…that I may lose you…I am paranoid…I feel this tightness in my chest when I even allow myself to think about it”, her voice trembled, and she gestured for him to give her a cigarette.

He held the lighter for her, then after a few beats said softly: “Please don’t ever doubt me…like you don’t doubt that the Sun will rise in the East…I am not going anywhere, working for anyone and have eyes only for you…”

“Sometimes…I’m afraid...that you'll get bored with me,” her voice was still trembling slightly. He hadn’t expected this direction at all, but all her fears seemed reasonable in light of her past as well as all recent developments.

“This sounds like…ahh…midlife crisis to me”, he smiled at her, and his hand gently brushed some hair that had come on her face: “But we’ll go through it together!” He gave her a sidelong glance and she gave him back the ghost of a nod and sniffled loudly.

The nicotine hit her system and she felt it taking over her worry. Besides the calming effect of James’s presence and his comforting deep voice made her light headed for a second and after butting out in the ashtray on her side, she slid down adjusting her head on his shoulder. He located the TV remote on his night table and turned it on, then covered them with the comforter and forced his mind to relax.

After more than ten minutes of CNN, when she had just been dozing off on his shoulder, he started flipping through the channels to see if he could find something else of interest and when he had turned to a cooking show, thinking Teresa would be intrigued, she lifted herself and said: “Having children messes it up.”

“Messes up what?” he said flatly.

“The sex,” she said softly.

He took a second to consider what she had said, then looked her in the eyes: “Was…this messed up?”

“Uhh…no… this was amazing,” she smiled shily and blinked a few times.

“Well…truth be told...having kids does slow it down, for sure….are you saying that…ahh…are you complaining?” he also felt weirdly shy, but thought that if such a conversation was needed, the sooner it took place, the better.

“No… because you’ve never…ahh…how do I say?…you always make sure I come,” she lowered her eyes.

“I’ve never left you hanging”, he filled in for her with a smile on his lips as her fingers started tracing his bare chest and she went on: “And …you have never taken me when I wasn’t ready…and it was me who pushed you to have a third child”, she was murmuring to his chest now.

“I wanted a daughter as much as you did…so what exactly are you saying?”, he lifted her chin with two fingers and made her look at him.

“I am just saying that I miss the time we used to…what’s the phrase?...screw like rabbits”, she was sure she was blushing.

James cleared his throat: “You are blushing…aren’t you?” his voice was playful and husky.

“Maybe”, she said with the same playful shyness and as he had released her chin, she looked down and squinted her eyes.

“Well, love…we're both busy and there’s only 24 hours in the day…now you have lined up a new mall, were talking about a casino last week…whatever your new venture is, someone will be on call until things start running by themselves”, he kind of shrugged and went on: “So, the other night in Vegas?  What was it? Pushing the boundaries? Redefining us?”

Teresa took a deep breath: “Kind of…maybe…my body isn’t a temple, James…you can still burn it down even if we are very busy…”

“Oh...I see…I will…you won’t see me coming… not everything is messed up, you know…some things are way better…way bigger after having had kids”, his eyes gestured to her bosom, and she smiled and shook her head.

“Mis tetas (my boobs)?”, the smile was naughty now.

“You know what this is?” he said in a lot lighter voice: “This is what they call ‘horny 40s”.

“Are you talking about yourself?” was the comeback: “Because I still have two more years to get to my 40s… you, mi amor, on the other hand….are already there…and these things, they take two people...but sometimes …I really feel like I need to burst, to fall into an abyss …and I need you to do it with me”, her voice was low and sensual to his ears.

“Or be there to catch you?”, his smile was also bordering on naughty now, as he buried his face in her hair kissing his way around.

“Yeah, that too…”, Teresa said demurely.

“So, now that we are sharing…are you having fantasies of other men, flashbacks from your past?”, he wasn’t looking at her when he said it, but he pulled up and looked her directly and she realized he was serious.

She was puzzled for a moment, but she felt nothing was stopping her from baring her mind to him, so she went along: ”No… the truth is I only get flashbacks of us making love in the pool in Phoenix… or on the stairs when you sent everyone to a baseball game that crazy day….or on the balcony on the cruise ship with only the stars above us…”, her voice trailed off. Then she said more softly: “Now that you know, what are you gonna do about it?”, and her hand moved down on him under the cover.

“I won’t have any reservations about anything that comes to my mind”, he said as they both felt him getting hard in her hand.

“Neither would I…I see you are standing to attention at a moment’s notice, so…”, she couldn’t finish as he had already turned her under him, and his mouth silenced hers.

Later she lay sated on her side of the bed realizing that life wasn’t a longevity contest, but rather a quality contest as the only thing that mattered was how much one ended up enjoying their choices, and she was definitely enjoying hers. Life was full of ugly things like shame and regret and hurt; that's why when something felt good one had a certain frame of reference. James was her frame of reference.

Her hand caressed his hair and she said quietly to his sleeping form turned to her side: “I love you…you've shown me what love is…” and to her surprise he murmured: “Hmm…I thought it was an ex-boyfriend of yours... “She knew he was teasing her, but she still needed to respond even risking to get him out of his slumber: “He was a lustrous memory with sentimental value …who brought me to you, my handsomest …ahh…half-baked Mexicano!” She heard him sigh and mumble: “Te amo, querida…con todo mi corazon, ya sabes…pero no soy Mexicano…I’m American.” (I love you, dear…with all my heart, you know it…but I am not Mexican, I’m American), and he rolled to the other side. She could only smile and let him be.

===

Teresa had read up on Alfonso Jimenez aka Affi, El Tiburon, present leader of the Jimenez cartel and had determined that he was a wilder card than Boaz or Javier Jimenez from her past had been. He had a stable position, controlling half of the distro in Mexico and there was no reason for attempting to kidnap her but pure revenge. Cartel leaders who made decisions based on revenge impulses were never favorites of the CIA and the only reason he had not been eliminated so far, that came to her mind, was that it was inconvenient as the void that would be left, would be filled in by the next player, the Chinese, which would be something that the US government would never allow, no matter the color of the administration.

However, El Tiburon knew she was alive, and it looked like removing the Vargases wouldn’t be enough to set her free. She still had enemies and they needed to be dealt with. She was certain that after her name had popped up in the official registers for documents and property acquisitions, all interested parties, including the CIA, had gotten updated on her real status. She doubted for a second if her decisions to come to Mexico and get back what was rightfully hers, had been wise, but then decided that it was done, and now she needed to think of a move that would align the figures on the chess board in a manner acceptable to her. And no matter how she turned it in her head, Alfonso Jimenez was expendable and needed to go.

“I wanna see him hang from a bridge,” was what she told James after having shared with him her latest thoughts. Her head still hurt, there was a serious bump, the size of a small egg on her left side, but she was rested and had no dizziness. Once James had assured himself that she would not need medical attention, he paid more attention to what she was talking about, then cringed: “The Culichi way? Just like you had Pote shoot the Vargas women at first opportunity?”

She took a deep breath and thought that in the past few days she had bared her entire being, all her doubts and fears, related to all aspects of her life, personal, intimate, aspirational, professional to him and thus shying away from him about her desire to get revenge and deal with the matters in a manner she saw as  ‘appropriate’, albeit being the Culichi way, was useless. So, she nodded and said: “You taught me most of what I know about the biz, your contribution to who I became is…indisputable…but this is who I am and what I need to do…at this stage of our lives.” She knew him well and was sure he would appreciate the honesty and would support her, even if he didn’t embrace her direction.

James only nodded, his eyes speaking volumes, so Teresa went on: “Does Castel really want Jimenez on her side…or just a puppet in his place?”

“She wants someone she can control…who will be loyal to the Agency…and would sympathize with their ideology…which is ultimately to protect the American public…the American way,” James said pensively.

“The American way?”, Teresa looked at him askance.

“Yeah…not hanging the enemy from a bridge but moving the pawns on the chess board behind the scenes…”, James elaborated to the slight smile that had appeared on Teresa’s lips.

“Then a Jimenez is not the right person for the job”, Teresa said slowly.

“No, he isn't …she offered me the distro job in Culiacan…but I think she will take Jimenez out if she can replace him with someone more reliable and…less volatile”, he had told Teresa all the details of their meeting including the offer and the new dynamic which was to remove the Chinese at all costs.

Teresa stared in front of her deep in thought and then her hand raked her hair and she tossed her head back. James saw the stern concentrated look she had on her face and he knew she was moving the pawns on her mental chess board.

“Are you thinking what I am thinking?”, he asked.

“Yes”, she slowly lifted her eyes and met his. “Helping her put a reliable person in Culiacan in exchange for her taking out Jimenez …we win, she wins…”

“I don’t know if Charger will agree to take his place,” James said: “Moving his families and children to Culiacan maybe risky”.

“No, mi amor…I wasn’t thinking of him…you need to overcome your dislike for Lil’T …just stop for a second and think”, the last was said as James was about to interrupt her, but he closed his mouth, sighed and sat on the bed, hands in his hair as Teresa went on: “ Think….she is not the girl we worked with back in Phoenix….she is a better fit for Castel…besides she would want the opportunity to put all her ideas in motion…you heard her ideas, right?’, Teresa stopped and waited.

“There is one way to find out…”, James looked up at her.

“Maybe you should first make sure Castel is agreeable to wiping out Jimenez for us”, Teresa suggested.

“Why me?... After making an application to buy Epifanio’s deserted mansion, she knows you are alive…the info would have been in her morning brief”, James scoffed. “She wouldn’t mind hearing from you.”

“No, not me...I may say the wrong thing, you are the better person to ask of her...you are better at handling women …when sentiments are involved”, Teresa shook her head.

“Oh please...we talked about that… this is about business!”, he said, and she had the feeling she had heard him say this before with the same slightly annoyed tone.

“Besides, your working relationship with her had been on a more equal footing than mine”, she added.

===

Castel picked up on the third ring as James called her from the cell Pote had used and he knew she would recognize the number. After Castel expressed her surprise as she had never expected to hear from James again, she got straight to the point:

“So, it was Teresa and you?...It had always been her and you, right? And she has resurfaced now, buying up Epifanio and Camila’s mansion and ruffling the feathers of the players in Mexico …with symbolic gestures?”, he could hear annoyance in her voice.

“Yes, you got it all correct!”, James said after a pause.

“The wolf changes its coat but not its disposition,” Castel mused: “Why did she run and hide? To avoid wallowing in the dirt, but now she is back, making moves?”

“She wanted back her Mexican…roots …that were taken forcibly away…she needed to get them back”, he knew it sounded sentimental, and hoped Castel would understand.

“It's irreversible…everyone knows she is alive”, Castel said flatly.

“That’s not the point… she wants no piece of the action, just her identity back”, James insisted. Then he briefly summarized the offer: Castel would take out El Tiburon and they would present her with a reliable player to take over his place. The Pax narca, the narco state operating as a state within the country of Mexico would continue uninterrupted and its assured existence would ensure that the USA had control over the players and the product that entered their territory.

After a few silent beats, Castel said: “Why wouldn't she call me?”

“She won't ...got upset after Pote told her you came to see me in the hospital”, no use hiding the truth.

“I really had no idea you and she were together and that she was alive”, Castel said something he knew very well himself.

“I know you didn't…but the fact is that it’s irrelevant who called you…I need your help because I don’t want to be on the run from a crazy Jimenez…besides you know it’s a win win…you just need to meet the person we have in mind…and I will do anything for your help”, he had to throw all arguments he had at her.

“Are you sure?...You’d do what you didn't do before?”, he didn’t hear a tease in her voice and the thought that she would involve personal matters disappointed him a little as he knew Castel could be all business.

“Castel! Are you serious right now?”, he heard himself say.

“No…of course not…just couldn’t help it…sorry… you need to lighten up as I can see the deep frown on your forehead from here”, this time her voice sounded lighter.

“Well…I am worried…and it’s complicated,” he admitted.

“You were the most complicated operative...man...I had ever met...you worked for Devon because of her? To protect her somehow?”, Castel apparently needed answers.

“Yes,” James said.

“And it was not voluntary?”, she pushed again.

“No,” he said again flatly.

“And it was eating you up inside, so you had no eyes for anyone?”, this surprised him a little. He hadn’t thought she had been into him that much.

“Eyes yes, heart no!” he believed in honesty.

“Oh James, I admired Teresa as a business partner… but I don't know her that well...she better be worthy of you!”, he could hear her sigh, then silence followed and then she said: “So, I never stood a chance?”

“Unfortunately, no...”, he was sorry to have caused pain, but he needed to focus on the issue at hand. Wallowing in memories was not helpful: “You still gonna help me?”, he pushed.

“Calmate (calm down)…I will handle Jimenez…I can even have him hanged from a bridge if that’s what Teresa wants…as long as his replacement works out…talk to me about this person!”, she said seriously.

===

James felt antsy and dejected at the same time after hanging up with Castel despite all the arrangements having been made successfully and Castel having agreed to fly to Phoenix the next day to meet Lil’T personally. Lil’T had been appreciative of the trust put in her and the opportunity given to her.

It was all lining up in their favor. Why was he feeling down then? He had thought himself dead when Castel had kissed him that night in the almost nonexistent light close to the barracks on the ranch and he had gotten hard, but his soul had felt so squeezed out, that he had refused her. He remembered the cold in his heart not letting him touch another woman, no matter how attractive, and how much this inability to control his life had angered him. His mind had conjured up images of Teresa being so far physically and so distant emotionally; her mistrust being the main reason, he was going through this torture. He had refused the gorgeous Colombiana who had wanted him and who could have spiraled his life forward. He remembered having gone to the training area and having hit the boxing bag for an hour until both his body and his mind had been too exhausted to even care about relieving himself in the hot shower.

He lit a cigarette and exhaled deeply. When Castel had expressed her interest in him, he hadn't seen the surveillance photos of Teresa and the jazz player. Now he stood on the balcony of the hotel room and wondered what he would've done if he had; where their lives would've gone had he acted differently? Would he have taken her right then and there in the lush palm tree garden, keeping his eyes closed, imagining she was someone else? Would it have given him anything but a temporary release and would it have changed the raw feeling he carried for Teresa?

Then the door opened, and Teresa joined him on the balcony, putting her hands around him and resting her head on his back. The warm feeling brought him home and answered the questions tormenting him. He wouldn’t have succumbed to the seduction as he knew that even if Teresa had been with someone else, it hadn’t been her fault as she hadn’t known he was coming back. He, on the other hand, had had every intention of going back to her, where he belonged. She had hurt him but had asked for forgiveness and he had given it. Anything else regarding Castel Fioto would've complicated his life even further.

He sighed and turned around wrapping his arms around Teresa while the thought of him also getting closure on this trip kept pestering his mind.

===

Langebaan, South Africa

Pote sat on the bench outside the soccer field thinking that George really had the talent for a soccer player. He pulled his cell to check for messages and was surprised to see he had a text from James: "Ensure there's minimum six security detail at any point at the house. Always have your gun on you until we are back and I can explain. I have advised Thomas at the security company that the men are at your disposal until further notice. James".

Pote sighed and prepared to make the call thinking: "Orale, cabron!. Ya sabes lo que haces! (You know what you are doing.)

===

Culiacan

Teresa had nothing planned for the afternoon, so she called the hotel spa and after a short conversation told James a massage sounded like what she definitely wanted right now. He raised his shoulders and didn’t say anything.

“I am sure your back too won’t object to pampering after the two long flights and many more hours behind the wheel… just as mine...it's couples massage, would be fun”, she sounded excited to him.

“Whether you are lying on the table next to me or not, isn't going to make the pink lines on my back any less visible”, he noted flatly.

“We can ask for a masseur, not a masseuse…”, Teresa ventured.

“No, not happening”, James said in a disinterested air as she kept looking at him insistently.

“No passara, Teresa!”, he said with the specific intonation showing his lack of interest.

“Ok...I will get a facial too...it's going to take more time...I don’t care who sees what…maybe even have my nails done”, she said with a tease in her voice.

He looked at her sharply: “When have you ever had your nails done? You're starting to sound like Kelly Anne”, Teresa had said some time ago that doing one’s nails was a waste of time.

“What's wrong with having one's nails done?”, she said, and he figured that she was either teasing him or what he had seen in terms of changes recently had not been everything.

“Teresa! …Whatever!”, he emphasized both words. This was the polite way of James telling her to beat it; she recognized it for what it was and stifling a laugh, closed the door behind her.

He looked at his nails, he liked them short and buffed, but he didn't feel like attending to them now as he felt for a beer more than anything. He was sipping it cold on the balcony, staring at the thick green canopy of the park that stretched to the left of the hotel entrance when his cell rang. He looked at the screen and saw it was Kelly Anne.

“Hello, how are you?”, he realized he was eager to get news about everyone.

“Hi to you too! Glad to hear your voice. How are you? Fully recovered?”, she sounded excited.

“I’m as good as new…what has Tony done now?” he asked as last week they had had the disturbing  news that their oldest son was turning to be into pranks, just as his father had been at the same remarkable age of 8 years.

“Oh, nothing,” Kelly Anne said fast: “The boys are okay…everyone is okay…I am calling as I need to run something by you and …ahh…I anticipate I will need help with Pote….”, James thought this would be interesting.

“I see,” he said and knew she would be able to hear the smirk in his tone: “With what?”

“Well…convincing him that horseback riding is not dangerous…”, she said faster as if speed mattered.

“But you know it is…”, he had ridden a few times as a boy and had not had this impression himself, but had heard stories of people getting thrown off and injured for life.

“Oh James, come on!” Kelly Anne’s voice was imitating indignation: “You are a Texan; we have all ridden a damn horse and loved it…don’t tell me you haven’t!”

“I have …twice…my aunt’s ex-husband owned a ranch…I liked it but couldn’t do much about it living in Dallas…tell me more…what’s this about?”, he was getting interested.

“See…I used to ride as an amateur all the way until I went to university, never got to competing, but now they run these shows here in Stellenbosch for amateur riders and I have signed up... it’s in two months... and I have been practicing at the Equestrian Academy that is on the other side of town…”, she sounded very excited by her achievements and James, who liked sitting on moving objects like his ATV, thought horseback riding was not a bad idea.

“Neat…is Pote against?”, he knew nothing else could be the problem that required his assistance.

“He said, I could break my neck if I so chose, but I also want the kids to give it a try…I started when I was six…they are late already”, as expected Pote had been against.

“I am sure they have mares for beginners, they are not going to put them on a stallion…”, James commented.

“No one uses stallions for riding lessons, James!”, She apparently knew a lot on the subject: “They are used for breeding…you mean geldings…of course they have geldings and mares for the different levels of riding skills…but I already took Lena and Tony once and they both loved it …and want to go again…do you think Teresa will be okay with this?”, she asked.

“I don’t know, but if Tony likes it, then I won’t limit him,” She had been busy with the kids: “What about George and Lupe?”

“Hmm…George said the horses ‘stank’ and that he ‘preferred practicing soccer with Tio!” (uncle)…she stressed the word tio: “It’s tio this, tio that…Spanish all day…he can’t speak English any more this boy….and so that you know Pote’s been calling him Jorge…Lupe, on the other hand, doesn’t care for sports no matter if they involve animals or not…she  is busy doing her puzzles”, Kelly Anne explained.

“I see…I will have to talk to Teresa, but I am okay with all of it!” James said thinking Teresa would be okay too as she had been staring with fascination at the TV screens showing horse races in the casino and had spoken very positively about horseback riding. He didn’t mention any of this to Kelly Anne as he knew it would bring up a bunch of questions.

“I bought Tony a cowboy hat from the equestrian center store, and you should have seen him…so proud walking around with it!”, she was proud of it too, he could hear it in her voice.

“Not a sombrero, a cowboy hat?”, he teased.

“Well, yeah…there’s enough sombreros in the house!”, the usual smart comeback.

“You realize Tony walking around wearing it is not going to help you converting Pote?”, James added.

“Oh, I am tired of this…I eat enchiladas and empanadas every week, don’t I? I speak decent Spanish, don’t I?...So, when I feel like a barbeque steak and bourbon…and a cowboy hat with it … I should be allowed to have some, don’t you think…. it’s only fair?”, Kelly Anne had slightly raised her voice by the end of the last sentence.

“Yes, ma’am!”, James felt any other response would provoke her further, however the excessive drawl that went into the “ma’am” did not escape Kelly Anne, who was on a roll.

“Are you messing with me, now?”, came back the stern question.

“No, do I dare?...I am in complete agreement!”, James couldn’t hold the laughter in his voice then as she stopped for a second and then continued unfazed: “When you come back we are throwing some serious cowboy steaks on the grill…in between the enchiladas if needed…why are you laughing, James? You are giving up on your roots”, she wouldn’t stop as she sometimes thought everything was too Mexican and believed James was the only one who could possibly understand her…"The other day I needed a drink and I saw you have stoked the bar with more bottles of scotch from Scotland …than with bourbon from Kentucky…”, her voice trailed off as he kept silent.

“I keep an open mind, Kelly Anne, as you have urged me many times …and you are free to try the scotch as well as the bourbon…it’s an expensive brand from Aberdeen and it’s worth it, trust me,” he said calmly to get the conversation back on track. It seemed to have worked.

“So, you’ll talk to Pote though, can I count on that?”l she asked.

“Of course, but I will talk to him when we get back,” he promised.

“When is this going to be?” she asked.

“Next week. Teresa is signing the acquisition papers tomorrow morning…Do I sense some discord there, between you and Pote?”, he ventured.

“He’s been driving me crazy, this man…ever since he came back…nothing is safe, nothing is to his liking, always has a smart comeback…I wish I could smack him! He is obsessed with writing the recipe book and getting published, and he is making me proofread it… but it’s in both languages, James! Do I look or sound like someone who is qualified to proofread Spanish?... I mean I can order food, ask for directions or make an appointment in Spanish”, her drawl was getting more pronounced as she was getting more upset.

“Can't help you with this one…as I only ever spoke it with my father…I never studied it”, James said, but she continued as if he had not spoken: “What am I proofreading...a cook book…I can tell you when it calls for salt and when for sugar, but that’s how far my knowledge in this area goes…”, she was almost out of breath by now.

“Seems like the bar is too high,” he tried to sound steady.

“Well, I ain't jumping, James!”, Kelly Anne was on a roll, Poor Pote!, James thought.

“Didn't you tell him?”, he wondered if she had ventured to complain.

“I did…he made a grumbling noise”, was the comeback and James couldn’t help but laugh.

Kelly Anne suddenly got an idea: “You know...he should know better than to give this to me...this is for Teresa to look at...the moment mamacita is back, it's on her plate...you can tell her that…Pote gave me the contract with the publisher to review, which is a novel in itself…and is more than enough!”, and she sounded content with her sudden revelation.

“Yeah...let it wait for Teresa...thanks for taking care of the sales agreement for the Phoenix property for me,” he suddenly realized that he had sent Lil’T her way and had not even called to thank her afterwards.

“Of course,...it’s Arizona law…it’s not cooking en Espanol…and by the way, Lil’ T wired the money…”, she informed him. “And then I had to wire most of it to a law firm in Culiacan for a property Teresa bought there…what is going on there?”, she added.

“Teresa is cleaning up”, James said. “I hope it is as cathartic as… I think she needs closure”, he added.

“I see…I hope it helps her...I truly do” Kelly Anne sighed: “This whole thing reminded me that I myself have land and interest in several properties around Dallas...that my cousins are using...and I have to see if I can move them”, she said with a sigh.

“Properties inherited from Cole Van Awken?”, James was surprised as she had never mentioned anything about an inheritance in the US.

“No, no...these I don't care about...his estate would've been settled by now...properties from my father…”, she clarified. “Can’t imagine Pote’s reaction if I end up having to go there myself!”

“Look, it wasn’t easy on him, this whole affair…just give him time”, James tried to make excuses for Pote.

“I think time is only going to make it worse…he is just getting old”, she sighed.

“Aren’t we all?” he wasn’t sure where this one had come from, but the midlife crisis topic was still fresh in his mind, so he went on: “Look Kelly Anne, I’ll give you a tip…ahh…my mother used to say that to keep her man happy, a woman needed to keep his belly full and …his balls empty!” Silence followed just as he had expected.

“Jesus Christ, James!”, her voice was outraged.

“There’s nothing you can do about the first one, but …maybe you can work on the second one…”, he pushed further. He didn’t like it when there was discord in the extended family.

There was more silence on the other end and for a second James wasn’t sure if he had touched a sensitive subject.

“Yeah…I guess I can do that”, she finally said with a tease in her voice.

“What else is he upset about?”, he asked cautiously.

“I can’t say really…maybe he just misses you and Teresa because he’s been busy with the redesigning of the bakery line to cholesterol free baking…and it’s been a huge success”, she added.

James scoffed: “I guess he’s seen his doctor and has been reprimanded”, as Kelly Anne said nothing, he added hastily: “I mean... we ate steaks in Dallas three times…and I swear it was his idea”, James knew Pote should have been off red meat but had had no heart to say ‘no’ to the Texan steakhouses.

“I can tell you for sure he ain’t eating the ones we'll grill when you two are back!”, Kelly Anne sounded determined.

“Now that you have direction on how to handle Pote, …uhh…tell me how my daughter is…she still sleeping in your bed?”, James had not heard anything about his little girl in a while and missed her terribly.

“Yeah… there’s not much I can do about it until you guys are back…she is in the ‘why’ stage…no matter what I explain, she asks ‘why’ again…which one of you was so inquisitive as a toddler, you or Teresa?….so I just let her be” he had never doubted Kelly Anne would be more than capable of handling all the questions of his two year old daughter. She was still talking: “James, there is something else I need you to…ahh…support me on.”

“I am all ears,” he said, interest peaking.

“If the two kids like horseback riding, maybe we can buy several horses and race them on top of riding them ourselves…I know it’s a big investment...I know, but the returns are also high…and it’s fun…we can board them at the equestrian center in the beginning and later put up a small facility on the land behind the vineyards, get a trainer and a jockey and the trainer will train our kids too…and me…”, she definitely had been thinking a lot.

“This sounds like a pretty detailed plan you have…maybe they can train me too”, he said.

“Of course…you took up surfing and mastered it…this is definitely easier”, she was excited as she had found support.

“I took up surfing about 10 years ago, but I may have an inkling for this in me”, he liked the idea of something new.

“And Pote? He is my biggest worry”, she circled back.

“If your work on him fails,” he didn’t mean to tease her, but that’s how it came out: “Then we’ll come up with a strategy to convince him…leave it with me.”

“Thanks …a lot…I mean it!”, she sounded happy.

“All right, kiss all kids from us and I will call you when I have a result”, he said, smiling to himself as he hung up.

===

The last two days Teresa had been busy. She and the Licenciado Alvarez had executed all necessary acquisition papers, transferred the funds to the City of Culiacan, hired a design company that in turn had arranged for a demolition company to tear the building and its adjacent structures down staring at 8 a.m. on the next day, and then had presented plans to Teresa for the construction of a center for abused women to be named after one Brenda Parra.

Teresa and James stood about fifty meters away and silently watched the bulldozer tear down the mansion. It was dusty and dirty, and felt very satisfactory to both, albeit in different ways. Teresa's mind saw flashbacks of Guero taking her there on their first Christmas together, her first meeting with Epifanio Vargas who had upturned her life just as much as Guero had; she remembered Brenda and herself getting lost in their search for a bathroom and hearing Camila’s voice for the first time, feeling the unease of having involuntarily eavesdropped on a spousal argument, and then seeing Camila walk out on her husband, head high, the posture of a queen.

James tried to put away all feelings of finality that accosted him and held tight to the idea that if that was what she needed to cleanse herself and to finally close this chapter of her life, he was the only other participant helping her get there, and that it was the most important matter of all. He knew at that moment that they had walked a full circle since the fateful day they had run a delivery op at the Dallas airport to the present day! And the thought that they had done it together filled his heart with warmth and content.

Teresa’s cell rang and after she hung up, she told him with a sigh: “This was Aero Mexico. Our flight has been moved forward by two hours. We need to leave very soon for Mexico City if we are to make it.”

===

James was gazing through the window over CDMX as the plane was taking up: “I have closed the chapter on Mexico and …can be a new person now”, Teresa said with determination on her face. James’s mouth took on the smallest of smiles, then he exhaled blowing away whatever memory was playing inside his head:

“I love the person you are…this person is my home, no matter if in Mexico, the States or Langebaan”, he said. “I have tried this…to run from who I am…to denounce my roots….and have failed…..we can never run from who we are, love…it’s in our blood…wanna bet that it will be pozole and enchiladas for dinner?”, James teased.

Teresa winked at him, no doubt Pote was not preparing fish and chips for their return, then pressed the flight attendant button and ordered two margaritas. James wrinkled his nose and said: “Make that a tequila for me, double and extra anejo, por favor!”

James turned to her and gently put some lose hair behind her ear to allow him to examine the fading hickey on her neck. Teresa caught his eyes and saw the smile in them reflecting the smile in hers. He murmured “I can’t wait to get back to our family, our house…and be with you in our bedroom…in our bed”. Then his lips slowly grazed hers. The flight attendant arrived with their drinks and silently served them. Not breaking eye contact, they picked their glasses up and clinked them as Teresa said: “It’s been quite the ride, James!”

He smiled at her and mused: “What would you change?”

She thought for a second and shook her head: “Nothing!”

“Me neither!” came the answer and then they drank with satisfaction that a page had finally been turned.

===

A few hours into the flight James took off his earphones, shoved them in the pocket in front of him and got up to use the bathroom. Teresa had been reading a magazine, one of the several that were available on board. She lifted her eyes and said: “This venture capitalist, the one who has given the initial funding to your telecom company to start their operation… can this be anyone who has money and wants to invest in other people’s ideas?... I am reading this article here and it talks about how less conservative business ideas use such funding as capital…since the banks find the risk too high…” she stopped and waited for him to answer.

“Yeah…I am certain if one has cash, one can find a way to give it out as …ahh…investments,” he said.

“Maybe that’s what I want to be…an investor…a venture capitalist…what do you think?”, she cocked her head at him.

He looked at her with amazement, then it changed to adoration. Then he smiled and said: “Orale!”, with the same affirmative tone Pote used with his favorite expression. She took a second to assimilate his response and then grinned back at him as he made his way into the aisle.

===

Langebaan, South Africa, two weeks later

Teresa switched off the TV. She had been watching CNN's reports on the wars raging in Colombia and Mexico. In Colombia the Moreno cartel had been wiped out, their locations raided, their production facilities seized. The situation in Mexico had been even bloodier. The boss of the Jimenez cartel, the notorious El Tiburon, had been found hanging off a bridge ten miles south of Culiacan; after a twenty hours siege of his Nayarit hideout by the Federales more than thirty cartel soldiers had been declared dead and more than twenty others had been arrested. The Jimenez cartel was declared dismantled by the General in charge of the armed forces of the state of Sinaloa.

Teresa sighed and walked into her closet. She knew now that James could re-assign the security detail back to the customers of the security company.

She needed to change as they had a meeting in one hour at Tony’s school. Their oldest son had gotten into a fight again.

Her fingers gently glided over her dresses hanging in her closet. She needed something more formal as James was taking her to dinner after the meeting with the teacher. Her hand hesitated over a simple white dress, hovered for a few seconds there but that was the color of her past, and she knew he wasn't a fan of her in white. So, she pulled a piece in burgundy smiling to herself as anything red was a safer bet. She turned the radio on and took out her makeup set as the room filled with a the gentle voice of the singer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9n9ICOpvM1w

Corazón, corazón, corazón
Yo te guardo tiernamente en mi canción
Corazón, corazón, corazón
Es tu llama que enciende mi pasión

Estoy pensando en ir a buscarte
Estoy queriendo abrazarte
El tiempo pasa y no se queda
Pero contigo siempre estaré

Corazón, corazón, corazón
Yo te guardo tiernamente en mi canción
Corazón, corazón, corazón
Es tu llama que enciende mi pasión

Si las palabras se terminaran
Y lo que queda es el silencio
Yo te prometo no importaría
Porque contigo siempre estaré

Corazón, corazón, corazón
Yo te guardo tiernamente en mi canción
Corazón, corazón, corazón
Es tu llama que me enciende

Te recuerdo cada día
En mi vida y alegría
Eres tú, tú, tú

Te recuerdo cada día
En mi vida y alegría
Eres tú, corazón

Corazón, corazón, corazón
Yo te guardo tiernamente en mi canción