Chapter Text
You took one staggered breath in, lungs filling with air. It burned, like you were drowning and just broke the surface of the water. This was the first bit of clear air you experienced in a long time. You felt the blood pumping through your body, smoldering just under the surface, able to track its movement in your veins. A static charge shot through your body, your eyes shooting open. It was difficult to concentrate on anything, eyes shifting quickly, everything blurry for a moment and then in perfect focus the next. Involuntarily, your fingers twitched oddly, unable to keep them in a closed fist for long.
Vignettes of the casino and the fight with Topaz flashed in your mind. It was like you were experiencing the blast all over again, the building collapsing on you. Even though you knew it wasn’t real, you thrashed your arms to push off the pieces that fell on you in a panic. You sobbed in anguish, the images and phantom pain not leaving you as you tried to sit up. Thin hands were on your shoulders in an instant, a familiar voice grounding you to the present.
A voice you were convinced you would never hear again.
“Stop moving and lie back down.” Your eyes snapped to Silco’s face and you froze, new anxiety washing over you like a tsunami. His face was firm with no emotion but looked exhausted. His hair was a mess and his clothes were in a similar state of disarray, not as pristine and tight. Silco’s studied you, taking in your state. You were a wounded animal, wanting to disappear under the weight of his gaze. The two of you stared at each other in a standoff. You had no inclination as to what would happen next and you feared the possibilities, so you didn’t dare move.
Silco eventually relented with a sigh, pulling away and sitting back in a chair that was next to the bed you were inhabiting. “I don’t think I should have to tell a medical professional how important it is to be careful with your movements while you’re recovering.” His voice was low with no real bite to it, something between caring and indifference.
For the first time since you opened your eyes, you consciously blinked. It felt odd, like they weren’t your eyes. Like you weren’t you. Something was different, something was wrong but you couldn’t quite figure it out. Never having been injured to the extent as you had in your last waking hours, you didn’t have a baseline for normalcy. Your mind raced, trying to find something to ground yourself in your current situation.
The room had the same atmosphere as The Last Drop but you didn’t recognize it. The smell was like his office, utterly familiar and painfully comforting. The decor had Silco’s touch, all the way down to the silk sheets of the bed. You felt the material in between your fingers, watching as the light reflected off the material. “Where am I?” Your eyes didn’t stop watching your hand, entranced, and you weren’t sure the words actually came out of your mouth.
“The Last Drop. This is my bedroom.”
Hearing Silco say it was a shock to your senses, your head snapping to look at him. Why? How?
As if reading the questions on your face, Silco continued. “You have Sevika to thank for the breath that fills your lungs. Appears you left quite an impression on her. Once she brought Jinx back, Sevika immediately headed in your direction, even disobeying my orders to leave you. Said something along the lines of how I wouldn’t forgive myself once I understood the full picture but she never went into full details. Didn’t have the chance. You were dying in the chaos of your own creation. Sevika pulled you from the ruins of that wretched place and Singed brought you back from the brink of death with shimmer. You didn’t return unscathed, however. There were some… side effects to the procedure.”
Having never taken shimmer before, even medically, the pieces started to fit together. It explained why you felt… strange. You wondered how much of you was altered, what kind of a bastardization of a human you had become, if you really had died in the explosion and this was your brain playing out the most realistic fantasy before shutting down. Though you were still in pain, it wasn’t to the extent that you should be. You weren’t sure if you should be fascinated by the healing properties of shimmer or afraid.
Another issue was being saved and how conflicted it made you feel. Your last act was to go nuclear, to die in a blaze of glory. You weren’t entirely convinced you hadn’t died. Were you supposed to be thankful Silco rescued you? Did you owe him now? Or should you feel angry at being alive? Was this to torture you for betraying him, the perfect way to get revenge? In truth, no matter where your thoughts lead you on the topic, it always ended in a numb feeling. No emotion stuck around long enough to get a firm grasp on it, dissolving in the acid that circulated through you.
When Silco started to speak, your eyes drifted back over to him slowly. “Explain to me, in terms I can understand,” Silco’s tone was soft and fragile, “how failing to kill me and defecting to the enemy who held my daughter hostage, has both my daughter and second-in-command convinced you never betrayed me to begin with?” His voice held a type of anger you had not heard from him before, anger combined with misery. Silco was in so much pain that he couldn’t hold it all back with willpower alone.
His voice cut deep, hopelessness bubbling to the surface. Emotion felt manipulative, crying crocodile tears for sympathy and mercy. Silco wasn’t a man who trusted easily yet he trusted you so effortlessly. He was broken and betrayed, time and time again. Even if he let you back in, would you deserve it? You sighed instead, and stared at the ceiling. “Can you fail at something you never intended to accomplish?”
“What?” Silco sounded shocked, like he didn’t expect you to speak again.
“I didn’t fail to kill you, it was never the plan. My plan was to convince Topaz that I killed you, and I needed it to look real. Anything less would not have been believable. I succeeded in faking your death at my hand.”
Silco tsked, like he was disappointed. “Didn’t have the guts to kill me?”
You huffed, seeing through the accusatory tone. He was testing you, each response likely to set off a landmine. “Would have defeated the purpose.” Silco stayed silent, willing you to continue. “When Jinx was taken, Sevika asked where my loyalties lie. I didn’t have a satisfactory answer for her. I can’t be as noble as her, giving her life to a cause she fully believes in. She did, however, make me realize who mattered most to me.
“You and Jinx matter to me, more than anyone else has in my entire life. Finally, I was happy with who I was and the people around me, I belonged. I built Para-Medic just like you built your empire. While not perfect, both strive to better Zaun. If I watched Topaz destroy your work knowing I could have done something, I would never have forgiven myself.”
“So, you became a martyr instead.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth, Silco. I never said it was a virtuous mission, it was for myself. Possibly one of the only things I’d ever wanted to do with my entire heart. If I couldn’t have the life I wanted, neither could Topaz. I believed I wouldn’t survive and if I did, I didn’t… there was no way I’d deserve to come back after betraying you, so I didn’t bother assuming things could go back to the way they were.”
Silco was quiet for a moment, thinking. “Do you regret it?”
“No.” The answer was almost automatic. “Both you and Jinx are safe, alive, and can continue on. I’m sad about the pain I caused but I would do it again and again. I would give my life for the both of you because I don’t want to live in a world without the two of you.”
He hummed and stood over you, “You’re right. It was an incredibly selfish thing to do.” Wanting the last word, Silco walked towards the door to leave.
The lack of emotion, of anger, from Silco finally caused you to snap. Why wasn’t he yelling at you? “Then why save my life? Why keep me here in your room? For someone so vindictive, you’re not very good at revenge.” You winced in pain as you tried to sit up and face him as he walked out. Silco seemed to notice, a small grimace of pity sparked across his face before he schooled it again.
“You’re not the only one who is selfish here.”
You watched as he left, his words hanging in the air.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sleep would overtake you, your body needing rest between almost dying and the artificial life making a new home. When you would wake up every few hours, there would be water and soup on the nightstand, reminding you of the first time you met Silco. You weren’t sure what to do otherwise, feeling like a prisoner. What would happen after you were healed? What else did Silco have in store for you? You weren’t convinced he knew what he was planning, either.
The door creaked, whoever entering was not as quiet or as confident as Silco. You turned your head to see someone peeking through the ajar door, childlike. You could make out her blue eyes and hair, even before she fully stepped in. Jinx’s eyes went wide when she got a full glimpse of you and she hurried in, shutting the door as carefully as she could. She tiptoed to the side of the bed, sitting on her knees and laying her arms on the bed, head resting on her hands.
“You’re alive.” Jinx spoke barely above a whisper, like you could disappear if she spoke too loud.
You chuckled and smiled. “Yeah, I’m surprised too.”
With one hand, she slowly reached out, fingers hovering above your cheek. You waited for her to finally touch you but it never came. She was shaking, eyes growing watery. Realizing she was scared this wasn’t real, you placed your hand on top of hers, closing the distance between her palm and your cheek. Jinx choked out a sob and some tears started to fall.
“Don’t cry, little one.” Jinx looked so young like this. She was barely a teenager but right now, she looked like a child who woke up from a nightmare. “Here, take off your boots and come up on the bed.” Jinx followed your instructions, kicking off the shoes while you sat up as best you could. She soon found a home in the crook of your neck with wet tears and shaky breaths.
“I thought… I thought you were dead.” You ran your fingers through her much shorter but even hair. “Dad… Silco wouldn’t tell me anything once Sevika brought you back. He finally had to leave his office so I snuck in.” You hummed, not sure how to respond. Silco may not have been sure you were going to survive, wanting to spare Jinx the pain of getting her hopes crushed. Your fate was still undecided as far as you knew, though.
The two of you sat like that for a while, comforting each other. Her breathing evened out and the tears stopped flowing. Just when you thought she had fallen asleep in your arms, she spoke again. “Your eyes are different.”
“Hmm?”
“Purple. They’re purple now. Maybe fuchsia. I like them, they look like gems.” Jinx stared in awe, studying the color of your eyes like a painting. One of the side effects of shimmer.
“Oh. Well, if you like the color, then I guess I like them too.” You gave a lazy smile when she giggled at your response.
Her face got serious again. “Medic, you’re not going to leave me, are you?” Jinx’s eyes were like orbs, boring into your soul.
“Not willingly, Jinx. But your father may have other plans.” To stop yourself from making promises you couldn’t keep, you kissed the crown of her head and snuggled her closer to you, succumbing to sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
You woke up to Jinx squeezing you tighter, like she was protecting you. She was mumbling into your chest. Silco’s voice was quiet, as if not to wake you.
“Jinx, you shouldn’t be in here.”
“I don’t care.”
You made eye contact with Silco and he sighed, a tired man. “Let me talk to Medic, since she’s awake now.”
“No! I’m not going to let you take mom away from me!” Both you and Silco were stunned into silence by Jinx’s words.
Silco ran a hand through his hair. “Jinx, you have my word, she won’t be going anywhere she doesn’t want to.”
Jinx pulled back just enough to make eye contact with you, making sure you’d be okay with her leaving. Your heart felt full at the caring look she gave you. After giving her a nod, she slowly pulled away and got out of the bed. Jinx glared at her father before leaving, sternly telling him, “If you hurt her, I will never forgive you,” and signaled with two fingers that she was watching him. It was very sweet, even when you knew the bite of that girl included dismemberment via detonation. The door shut with a click behind her.
Silco watched her leave and waited a few beats before opening the door again. Jinx fell to the floor but quickly pulled herself up, acting innocent. Silco gestured for her to leave the area for real this time and didn’t fall for her downcast look. When he felt convinced she was going to listen to directions, he closed the door and locked it, making his way back to the chair he sat in before.
“Turning my own daughter against me,” he grumbled.
“I didn’t—!”
He raised a hand to silence you. Silco would know better than anyone that Jinx could not be manipulated that easily. You settled back into your defensive position, staring at the ceiling, unsure if he was going to keep the promises he made to Jinx about you or not.
“You are… doing better? You don’t need additional medical attention?”
“No.” It was short and you felt bad for snapping, so you continued. “But I don’t know how shimmer affects the body to really know. I think I’m doing fine, all things considered.”
Silco slumped forward, echoing back your all things considered beneath his breath. Otherwise he sat quiet for a few minutes. You had a snarky comment on the tip of your tongue about him kicking Jinx out to sit in silence, but you didn’t have the energy. The sound of rustling fabric caught your attention, Silco digging in his pocket for something. He held it in his long fingers but you didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking at what he had.
“Sevika said this dropped out of your hand when she pulled you out of the rubble.” Out of the corner of your eye you saw the gold knight chess piece. “Curious. Haven’t been able to play a game of chess since you took this from me.”
You scoffed. “The set wasn’t complete when we made the deal that day, there were pieces already missing.”
He hummed in response. “Yes, well, Jinx has a habit of hiding pieces as we play when I’m not looking, especially when she’s losing. You got me there.” Silco turned it in his hand, examining it, like it was a precious jewel. “You don’t make for a very good knight.”
“What?” The absurdity of the comment caught you off guard, you fully turning to sit up and face him.
“Knights are noble, selfless, fully devoted. We both agree you are not those things.”
You closed your eyes to stop yourself from rolling them. “Do you want an apology?”
“No, of course not.” Silco placed the piece on the nightstand but his eyes didn’t leave it. “When you brought that deal to me, I had… a different role for you in mind.” He shrugged and looked at you again, “But you choose the knight, so I obliged. Took what I could get, already getting more than I hoped for.”
You furrowed your brows, thinking back to the conversation before all this happened. Silco did admit he was going to make you an offer of some kind before you beat him to it. You were also surprised that he was holding on to this metaphor for as long as you did. It was something that grounded you, gave you comfort while you were lost. A place to exist. What was his goal?
“What… What role did you have in mind, then?”
Rather than answering with words, Silco pulled out another piece, holding it out for you to take. Your eyes went wide and you slowly reached for it, worried he would pull it away and laugh in your face. His face was almost giving nothing away, almost, but the corners of his lips were slightly pulled up. You brought the piece close to your face, examining it in a similar fashion Silco displayed earlier.
The gold queen.
This was the role Silco had imagined from the start. Silco, the gold king, and you, the gold queen.
“Why are you telling me this now?”
He leaned back and crossed his legs, letting out a long breath. “You know how the queen is the most powerful piece on the board, do you not? Sure, the game ends when the king is taken, but the king is limited in what moves it can perform. The queen, however, can take as many unoccupied spaces in any direction as the player wants. In many strategies, it’s the final defense for the king, even sacrificed for the king.
“You’re not the knight in shining armor, my dear Medic, you’re the queen, even now.”
You flushed at the implication, brain making conclusions that felt so far away. “But… but I betrayed you.”
“Hmm, yes. But did you really? Every move you made on the surface appeared like a self-serving act, but it was ultimately for Jinx and I’s benefit. A sacrifice in the name of the king. I couldn’t see it, stuck on how I allowed myself to be deceived again. But the more I look at it, Sevika was right; I would have never forgiven myself if I let you die. Even now, you hold back, knowing the influence you have over me.”
Silco leaned forward, head hanging low. “Medic, I need you to stay here with me, with Jinx. You belong here. Stand by me. But we won’t be able to go back to the way things were. I won’t be able to. Because I… I…”
With a gentle hand, you caressed the left side of his face and Silco’s eyes snapped to yours, shocked. Tears fell down your face, unnaturally hot. The smile on your face hurt, unable to keep back your happiness.
The two of you stared at each other. Silco was mesmerized, finally accepting everything he had been denying. For a brief moment, his eyes drifted to your lips and you could see how much he wanted, how much he longed when they returned to your eyes. “Oh, my dear Medic, I’m in love with you. I would let you destroy me if you wanted. I know you may not—”
Before he could finish, you closed the distance and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. It was short and sweet, and you savored the surprised groan Silco made. A moment later, you pulled back, wanting to see his reaction. Instead, Silco followed your movement, chasing your lips and placing his arms on either side of you, caging you in. Even now, he was a predator taking what he wanted. You gasped at his urgency, which he swallowed like a starving man. Silco placed a hand on the base of your head and deepened the kiss, your lips parting willingly.
It felt like heaven, the two of you made for each other. You wrapped your arms around his neck, elated. Silco slowly placed you back on the bed to push you into the mattress, the hand on your neck now leaving a brand on your hip. You couldn’t help yourself, you let out a tiny whimper in pain from the pressure into his lips. In truth, much of your muscles were on fire and screaming at you but you had been ignoring it until you couldn’t handle it anymore.
Silco separated, placing his forehead against yours and taking his weight off you again. Chuckling, he apologized. “Got carried away, you’re still recovering. We should—”
You pulled him back in for another kiss, worried this could all fade away if he left. Silco hummed pleasantly into your lips. He started to kiss the corner of your mouth and moved toward your jaw, making his way down your neck. “I love you, Silco. I’ll stand by you for as long as you stand by me, darling.” You could feel the smile he gave against your skin.
A knock at the door interrupted the moment, Silco looking up slightly and ready to murder whoever the unlucky bastard was behind the door. “Ignore them,” he grumbled into your collarbone before continuing.
Another knock, this time more rhythmic, came at the door and a beat after, a small voice spoke. “Medic? Are you okay? Can… Can I come in?”
Silco dropped his head to your shoulder with a sigh, defeated. You snickered at his dramatic response and watched him rise from the bed. He swiftly unlocked and opened the door, gesturing for Jinx to enter. She held a ragged bunny in her arms and looked so small and scared. Slowly, she took a few steps in before rushing to your side.
“You’re crying purple tears! Did he make you—”
“Jinx, it’s okay. Your father and I worked it out. I’m staying forever.” Unable to control her joy, she jumped up and hugged you.
“Can I stay with you tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”
“Of course.” You moved in such a way to get comfortable and dragged Jinx into your arms. She snuggled in close. Silco watched the two of you from across the room, the adoration in his eyes clear as the sunrise in Piltover. It was clear he didn’t want to intrude on the moment, carefully moving to leave. “Where are you going? Get your butt over here.” Jinx giggled at your command. Silco’s eyes went wide before a smile took over his face. He made his way across the room and climbed in behind you.
You had finally found your family.