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Sam had a bag of frozen peas on his knees, frozen corn on his eye, and a family-sized vegetable medley taped to his side. Did they even eat this stuff or use it for first aid? He didn’t know. He had his leg propped up on an ottoman. Four pillows from his bed were keeping him from toppling over on the couch. He was in bad shape, but the bad guys looked worse. He got to be the hero, save the world. He was still here to fight another day, so was his emo roommate. Sam’s eyes cut to Bucky one more time.
“Stop looking at me,” Bucky groused.
“I’m team leader. It’s my job to look at you. You took a pretty nasty blow to the head. You’ve been spacing out ever since. I don’t care what you told Banner.”
“I’m fine.” Bucky started fluffing Sam’s pillows when he started to lean again.
“You started speaking Russian.”
“It was Romanian.”
“Don’t bullshit me. I’ve been practicing with Yelena. It was Russian.”
“I’m fine. Watch your precious show.”
“And look who is right beside me. Don’t think I didn’t see you biting your nails last week.”
“I’m turning in.”
“Buck.” Sam looked him in the eye.
“Goodnight.” Bucky got up and went into his room.
Bucky thought he was slick. He thought he was watching Sam and his injuries, but Sam let the doctors examine him. Sam got why Bucky was hesitant around lab coats, but the headshot he took was brutal. Anybody but a super-soldier would be dead. Sam was worried for a minute until Barnes got up and shook it off. On the flight back to headquarters, Bucky had been acting weird. Sure, the Winter Soldier popped up every now and again, but Sam was certain he rode the entire way back with them. Bucky didn’t start acting right until he was in their residential suite.
Sam hated to pull rank on Bucky, but he was going to have to do it. He would talk to him tomorrow morning. Right now though, he had a glass of eggnog and a tin of peppermint bark, and he was catching up on Succession. Sam was lost in his disgust at the characters when Bucky appeared beside him. “What is it?” Sam asked, looking at his phone to see if he missed an update. It was 3 am, but his phone was calm like the man standing over him. Bucky’s features resembled a zombie- dead eyes, loose body. It was like he wasn’t in control of his faculties. Shit, Sam thought, reaching for his phone.
Bucky grabbed him, knocking the device to the floor. Sam went to block the man thinking he was going for his throat or head to knock him out. Bucky grabbed his shoulders and yanked Sam off the couch. “Fuck,” Sam hissed. Bucky grabbed his injured shoulder. “Bucky, listen to me. You can fight this. Ayo said your mind is your own. I know you’re in there. Jam-”
Sam was cut off by Bucky’s mouth covering his. Sam’s eyes grew to saucers. Bucky’s lips pressed into his. It felt…great, like relief. Sam was alarmed by that thought and doubly alarmed when he felt Bucky’s tongue at the seam of his lips. Without thinking, Sam tried to object, but his opened mouth allowed Bucky to deepen their kiss.
Sam doesn’t know when the pain turned to euphoria. He doesn’t know when all objections died in between the press of their lips. Logic gave way to teasing and discovery. Bucky plundered his mouth like he was searching for something. Sam hoped he found it. It hurt when he went to wrap his arm around Bucky’s neck to pull him back on the couch. It hurt even more when Bucky let him go. Sam stumbled and fell back onto the couch surprised. “Bucky?” Sam asked, looking over the man. He was a zombie again.
“Bucky, what the fuck is going on with you? James?”
Bucky’s body jerked. He shook his head and looked around. “What happened?” Bucky grabbed his head. “How did I get out here?”
“You walked out here a few minutes ago. Are you okay?” Sam could see the man was rattled, but at least he was sounding like himself.
“I don’t know.”
“You think someone is controlling you again?” Dread landed in Sam's stomach with a thunk. What if he had been commanded to seduce Sam. Did he almost get Rockabye babied?
“I think I’m sleep-walking again.” Bucky ran his hands through his hair.
“What do you mean, again?”
“I’ve kind of been sleep-walking.”
“For how long?”
“Off and on over the years. Hydra tried to beat it out of me, but Ayo said it was a coping mechanism. Resistance to their control, exerting my agency. I did it sometimes in Wakanda too when they had me in that machine. I don’t know.”
“You’re going to see Dr. Cho tomorrow.”
“I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not.”
“What did I do?” Bucky asked. Sam could tell he was taking in the scene for the first time. The pillows were on the floor. Sam dropped his hand from his aching shoulder. Sam wondered if his lips were puffy.
“Uhhh..." Should he admit he just made out with a subconscious Bucky? That isn’t team leader behavior. Bucky was his friend, roommate, and co-worker. Despite their rocky start, they were partners and had gotten good at working together and taking out bad guys. Sam liked where they were. Make-out sessions might complicate some things. “You kind of appeared out of nowhere and grabbed me.” It wasn’t a lie per se. Sam just left a few things out. It was already awkward as hell. Sam didn’t like the look in Bucky’s eye.
“Did I hurt you?”
“Nah man, nothing like that, but we need to get you some help.”
“Okay.”
“Cool.” Sam smiled. “You good for tonight? Or-”
“I’m good,” Bucky mumbled and backed out of the common room.
-o0o-
Sam was in the kitchen making a smoothie when Bucky walked in. Usually this time of year, Sam would be eating oatmeal, but it was 80 degrees out. He hoped it wasn’t this hot on Christmas. Sam looked at his quiet roommate. Bucky was removing the dead leaves on the poinsettia on the counter. “How’d it go?” Sam asked.
“Doc thinks that blow to the head caused the sleepwalking to come back, but she wanted to get a second opinion. She recommended a psych consult.” Bucky went to the sink to wash his hands.
“Okay. When is that? You can’t go on missions until they clear you.”
Bucky turned to him with a snarl. “Wilson, this isn’t the military. That’s a rule you just made up.”
“I didn’t just make it up, and it’s my job to keep everyone safe including you.” Sam put chopped spinach into the blender.
“You think I’m a risk? So, I did hurt you last night.”
“No. I just want you conscious and aware of your actions while people are trying to kill us.”
“I already had the psych consult.”
“Great." He looked at Bucky’s face. “What are you not telling me?”
“Dr. Samson thinks Doc Cho is right about the sleepwalking, but he wants to examine my behavior to make sure... to make sure it isn’t a trauma response from -you know- my whole fucking life.”
“So, what, like a sleep lab?”
“He mentioned that. He also wants to talk to you.” Bucky picked up a banana and peeled it for Sam. He broke it up and threw it in the blender. Bucky picked up another banana to eat.
“Me?” Sam stuttered. “Why does he want to talk to me?”
“He wants to know what exactly happened last night, and why I subconsciously chose to interact with you. We watched the camera feeds to see if I went outside…”
“You didn’t, and there are no cameras in private suites. Look man, I have to tell you something...” The alarm on his phone went off. “Shit.” Sam pulled the pitcher off the blender base and put it in the fridge. He went towards the door with Bucky on his heels. “You’re grounded, Barnes.”
“If I would have known the power was going to your head, Wilson, I would have voted for Rhodey to be team leader.”
“You voted for me because you trust me. I am asking you to do it now.”
-o0o-
Sam’s arm felt like someone had tried to gnaw on it, probably because someone had tried to gnaw on it. Now, they had vampires? Vlad the Impaler was somehow still alive. Perfect. The pain in his arm was annoying, but not the reason he felt so uncomfortable.
He had a meeting with Bucky’s psychiatrist today. Sam had not talked to Bucky yet because Bucky was pissed and avoiding him. The super-soldier watched the fight from the war room and surmised that they did need him out in the field. He said so loudly for an hour on comms as Sam was flying back. Sure, they needed him…to be 100 percent. You don’t fire a gun that’s sticking.
Sam had exactly one day to recuperate before his phone was ringing. Sam guessed Bucky had been pestering the medical staff at the compound to clear him for fieldwork. The short hair and clothes made Bucky look like a new man, not the greatest assassin that ever lived. Unfortunately, a makeover couldn’t change his intensity and body language when he wanted something. Intimidating was the nice way of putting it. Most folks didn’t know the man like Sam. Nowadays, all that brooding was mostly for show.
There was a knock on Sam’s bedroom door before Sam could speak it swung inward, and Barnes walked in. He set Sam’s morning smoothie on the nightstand and stared at him with his arms folded. Sam blinked back at him. “Good morning.” Sam smiled. “This got poison in it?”
“You're going to be late.”
“Bucky, there is something I need to talk to you...”
Bucky turned and left the room. “There’s no time. We need to be in Dr. Samson’s office in thirty minutes.”
“We?”
-o0o-
They rode the elevator in silence. There was a scientist in the car with them. Sam didn’t recognize her, but they always had visiting scientists in the building. Sam glanced over at Bucky, and he was staring at the bandages on Sam’s arm. Sam sighed. “You couldn’t have done anything.”
“I could have done plenty. I’m supposed to have your back.”
“We’re supposed to have each other’s back, and the best place for you was HQ.”
“Look what happened to Kate.”
“Kate got boxed in by six dudes and walked out of it alive. Most of those dudes didn’t. She, Elijah, and Yelena had it in hand. RiRi was in the air ready to light their asses up.”
The bell chimed on the elevator. They were being let out on the medical floor. Bucky signed in while Sam waited. There were too many people walking about and gawking for Sam to speak to Bucky privately. He took a few selfies with staff members and then sat in the waiting room seats. Ten minutes later, they were being called back. They finally were alone in Dr. Samson’s office. “Buck, about the other night.”
“I hurt you didn’t I?” Bucky was searching Sam’s eyes.
“No, listen-”
The door to the office opened and in walked a man who looked like a bodybuilder, not a psychiatrist. He had long blonde hair too. He looked like Lucious Malfoy. Sam kind of wanted to ask to see his credentials, but if the death eater was in this building, he had been checked out on multiple levels.
“I’m sorry to keep you waiting. I know you’re busy men,” the doctor said, sitting behind his desk. He pulled a tablet out of his desk drawer. “I’ll get right to it. So, Captain, you witnessed one of Mr. Barnes’s episodes?”
Sam cleared his throat and looked over at Bucky. Bucky's face had gone white. “Yes.”
“Tell me about it,” Dr. Samson said.
Sam sighed. He needed Barnes to get better more than he needed to protect both of their pride. Sam went into the story, “He appeared out of nowhere it seemed like-”
Sam’s eyes cut to Bucky when he was finished. The super-soldier was red. His expression was hard to read. It became more apparent when Bucky said, “Are you shitting me? Why wouldn’t you tell me that?”
“Because I was embarrassed and it was awkward, and then every time I tried to bring it up, we got interrupted.”
“I was sleepwalking; I didn’t know what I was doing.”
“I know that.”
“You don’t have to worry about me coming on to you or something.”
“Bucky, I was not embarrassed about that. I should have handled it better. I shouldn’t have kissed you back.”
Bucky’s head whipped around to Sam. “You kissed me back?”
“I mean…I went with the flow, and I knew better.”
“I did just appear out of nowhere and stuck my tongue down your throat. Why did I do that, Dr. Samson?”
“That’s what we are here to explore. Is there something you want to share with the room?”
“No,” Bucky grumbled. Sam just stared back at the psychiatrist when he looked at him.
“Well, you’re partners out in the field. You chose to live together in this humongous compound.”
“Clint lives with us too…when he’s in town,” Bucky corrected.
“Isn’t he semi-retired?”
Sam and Bucky glanced at each other. “We have separate rooms, privacy,” Sam added.
“You could have a whole suite to yourselves. I do, and I am nowhere near as important as Captain America and Bucky Barnes. Could Mr. Barton be a buffer?”
“A buffer?” Sam asked.
“He’s trying to say Clint is our beard. Look, Sam and I have lived together for three years even before we moved into the compound. I didn’t start sleepwalking again until last week.”
“I believe the head injury triggered your sleepwalking episodes, and Dr. Cho agrees, but the things you told me in the last session indicate that your behavior in your subconscious state is a response to your circumstances.”
“Okay?” Bucky said. The doctor hesitated and glanced at Sam. “Doc, Sam knows the good, the bad, and the ugly.”
“When you were with Hydra you used to escape in your sleep. You killed your handlers in your sleep. You saved a red-headed child in your sleep. In Wakanda, you went to the farmlands, so they eventually gave you a goat farm. Now, here, you kissed Sam in your sleep.”
“So, his subconscious is...” Sam said, thinking aloud.
“...Doing what I want in real life,” Bucky finished. Sam looked over to Bucky. The sniper wouldn’t look at him.
“Hmm,” Sam uttered. “It’s my fault really. I am pretty irresistible.” Sam smiled.
That caught Bucky’s attention. “Can it, Wilson. I thought I had tried to strangle you or something. That makes more sense.”
“Nah...you just tried to have your way with me.”
“Does he need to be here any longer?” Bucky asked Dr. Samson.
-o0o-
Sam was sitting on the couch entering reports into the database. Bucky walked in and dropped on the couch beside him. He placed a piece of paper on Sam’s keyboard. Sam brushed it off so he could finish typing.
“That’s your precious medical documentation that says I am ready to go back in the field.”
Sam pursed his lips and picked up the discarded form. He read over it and held it up to the light.
“What are you doing? Are you implying I faked the documentation?”
“I don’t put it past you, but this looks legit. I’ll reinstate all your clearances.”
“Thank you.” Bucky grabbed a grape off of Sam’s charcuterie board. Sam smacked his hand when Bucky went for a snickerdoodle. Bucky ate the cinnamon cookie anyway.
“So, Samson got you sussed out?”
“We set up some appointments.”
“That’s great, Buck. We all need someone to work on our shit with. I still see my psychologist.”
“I know.” Bucky huffed.
Sam smirked. He used to counsel people for a living. He guessed it never went away. “We going to talk about the elephant in the room?” Sam popped an olive in his mouth.
“Do we have to?”
“I mean… no, but if your deepest desire is to get a piece of this...”
Bucky jumped up off the couch. Sam grabbed his wrist. “I may have some desires of my own.”
Bucky’s brow rose. He sat back down. Sam closed his laptop and set it on the coffee table. Bucky reached up and removed Sam’s glasses. They stared at one another with daring, but neither man tried to move until Sam popped his lips, dove forward, and devoured Bucky’s mouth.
It wasn’t long until Sam needed something more and from the looks of it, Bucky did too. “Okay, Pops. I know you’re used to necking for an hour back in the day, but we’re allowed to fuck on a first date in this century. Let’s take this to one of the three bedrooms.”
“You want to fuck on Clint’s bed?”
“I reassigned Clint’s room this morning.” Sam stood and walked towards the bedrooms.