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Tetsurou would like to say, for the record, he was straight.
One hundred percent straight, one hundred percent of the time.
Well, except that one time, but that didn’t count. No need to bring it up. He was just curious. Everyone gets curious!
The point was, he was a heterosexual. He’s been on dates with girls and has only ever thought about kissing girls. All his crushes have been on girls, his sex dreams have all featured women (except, like, twice, but that didn't mean anything!), and he’d even had a few girlfriends in junior high and high school!
“People change,” Kenma says unhelpfully in response to his speech.
“You could be bisexual or something but still have a preference for girls,” Bokuto says, a little less unhelpfully. “It’s not really a big deal.”
“But I’m not! I like women! My type are smart women with long hair and nice tits. I’m a tits man! Men don’t fit into that!”
“That Sawamura guy has nice tits,” Yaku points out, “you said it yourself.”
“So unhelpful, Yaku, just shut up—and it was just an observation, like, everyone can see that! It doesn’t mean I’m gay!” Tetsurou starts to rant.
Kenma and Yaku fix him with a flat stare and Bokuto just looks confused. Akaashi tries to text discreetly on his phone, probably asking Konoha to pick him up.
"You called us all to your dorm for an 'emergency' and then told us, and I quote, that you might be gay and be attracted to him. That's literally why we're here right now." Yaku tells him, unimpressed and annoyed.
“I mean, he’s hot, sure, and super buff, and yeah, I’d love for him to bench press me or crush me between his thighs—but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m attracted to him! Or gay!” Tetsurou sputtered.
“Don’t forget you said he also has eyes like a baby deer but an ass like—” and here, Akaashi's nose crinkles, ruining his expression of boredom and long-suffering, “—a dump truck.”
Tetsurou sighs in fond remembrance of his gym session earlier that afternoon. He’d been nearing the end of his routine when Sawamura walked in, and Tetsurou immediately noticed the volleyball shorts and the tight shirt the other was wearing, and how well they accentuated his muscles.
He’d met Sawamura during orientation at the beginning of the semester since they lived in the same dorm building. They weren’t really friends but they were always friendly whenever they saw each other around campus or their dorms. He waved when Sawamura looked over and Sawamura waved back but they didn’t speak to each other, focused on their own workouts.
It just so happened that the treadmills where Tetsurou always does a five minute cool-down jog were right across from the free weight section. The section where Sawamura was preparing to deadlift what looked like nearly double what Tetsurou weighed. And so Tetsurou had a front row seat to the show. With his eyes glued to Sawamura’s ass and thighs as he picked up the bar with a grunt, he only had a moment to spare the thought, oh shit, that was so hot, fuck, what the fuck, I want him to lift me, before he was tripping over his feet and smacking his face on the handrails as he fell, where the still running treadmill deposited him none-too-gently on the floor.
He had groaned and when he opened his eyes, Sawamura and a few other people were crowded around him, turning off his treadmill and checking to see if he was alright. Tetsurou looked at Sawamura where he was prodding at Tetsurou’s ankle to check for an injury and Tetsurou had thought, wow who knew he was hiding a body like that under his usual clothes? I want to bury my face in his tits, before jumping up with an awkward laugh and an apology.
“Haha, sorry everyone, I just tripped! Thanks for checking on me but no need to worry, I’m fine! I gotta go now, though!” Tetsurou ran out of there as fast as he could and began to send multiple SOS messages to his friends, who were now here to supposedly help him with his sexuality crisis.
The sound of someone gagging brings him out of his memory.
“Stop thinking about his ass,” Kenma says as Yaku continues to make gagging noises and Akaashi looks out the window as if someone (Konoha) will save him. Bokuto pats them both on the shoulder with a sympathetic look.
“Shut up, I wasn’t. And no, Akaashi you’re not allowed to leave. If Konoha comes to pick you up he’s getting dragged into this too.”
Akaashi groans but turns his phone back on, presumably sending Konoha a message to leave him to his fate.
So dramatic, that one, Tetsurou thinks to himself.
“What are we even doing here, anyway?” Akaashi asks, salty about being stuck here. “If you’re attracted to him, then you’re attracted to him. No one cares whether you’re straight or not, and you don’t have to label yourself if you don’t want to or if you’re unsure. Also we’ve all seen him before, we know he’s hot. You don’t need to have a crisis over it.”
That was surprisingly nice of him to say. Tetsurou knows he’s only speaking up because he wants to leave though.
“But I can’t be gay! I love women! And I don’t wanna share Father’s Day with someone else when I have kids! Not that I’m not going to marry a woman. Because I’m straight.”
“Wait,” Bokuto starts, brows furrowed, “but what about that one time—”
“Nope!” Tetsurou cuts him off immediately. “That doesn’t count! And we don’t talk about that.” He says pointedly.
Kenma sighs, clearly unable to tolerate this any longer. “Kuroo, we all know you only watched Sailor Moon because you had a crush on Tuxedo Mask. And then you got into magical girl animes.”
“Wh—they’re fun, alright, and the girls are always cute! Also I did not have a crush on Tuxedo Mask, I just thought he was cool!”
Kenma just raises an eyebrow at him and mutters, “sounds fruity to me,” but before Tetsurou can argue, Yaku jumps in with his own anecdote because apparently it’s storytime now.
“I literally walked in on you kissing a magazine cover of Jacob from Twilight once,” Yaku says drily.
Tetsurou sputters. “Well that’s because Jacob was the better choice for Bella! And I was sick that day. I was delirious; I didn’t even know what I was doing!”
“You know—” oh no, not Bokuto too, “—your parents thought we were dating when I first met them, actually. Wasn’t that why they were so weird when you started dating Akiki?”
Tetsurou groans and buries his head in his hands. He doesn’t even have a rebuttal for that one.
“See, I don’t get why we’re here. Clearly everyone thinks—well, knows, really—that you’re into guys. And like I said, no one cares. Just ask Sawamura out, or bang him, or pine from afar and brain yourself on the closest hard object—not including your dick—because you were too busy trying to peek at his abs. You don’t need us for that.” Akaashi says, as straight-faced as ever.
“Okay, I get it, whatever—ugh! You guys are the worst support system ever, just get out! You’re so unhelpful; I need better friends. Traitors,” Tetsurou grumbles.
Akaashi’s out the door before Tetsurou even finishes speaking.
Tetsurou’s day had been long and bad and he was so tired. That’s why he can’t be blamed for what he did when he bumped into Sawamura in the stairwell of their dorm building.
Tetsurou is walking down the stairs trying to compose an email to a prof about his useless lab partner that isn’t answering his texts about their soon-to-be-due lab when he notices Sawamura walking up toward him. The other had clearly just been at the gym because he’s wearing a compression tank and another pair of volleyball shorts and exuding a healthy post-workout glow.
Sweat is still clinging to his body and Tetsurou looks up just in time to see a drop of sweat trail down his neck and settle in his collarbone. Tetsurou wants to lap it up and then suck a dark mark into his perfectly toned neck.
That’s the last straw that causes Tetsurou to explode.
“Hey,” Sawamura greets him with a friendly smile.
“IT’S YOUR FAULT I’M GAY!” Tetsurou shouts.
To his credit, Sawamura seems relatively unphased. He probably gets that all the time, with his handsome face and smoking hot body and stupid beautiful smile. So unfair.
“Uh… sorry?” Sawamura says, looking at him in equal parts amusement and confusion.
“You should be! Er, I mean,” Tetsurou clears his throat in embarrassment as he realizes what kind of situation he just put himself in, “I’m not gay. But you need to stop being so sexy. Yeah.”
Sawamura’s definitely amused now. “Okay. Well, if you are gay—not that I’m saying you are, of course—do you wanna go out with me? I haven’t had dinner yet, and I’d like your company.”
“Uh,” Tetsurou looks away, “... I could eat.”
“Perfect!” Sawamura beams, and fuck, Tetsurou might’ve lied, he’s definitely kind of gay. “I need to shower since I just got back from the gym, but I’ll meet you in the lobby in twenty minutes, that alright?”
“Yeah, that works,” Tetsurou replies, kind of in a daze.
“Nice. See you in a bit,” Sawamura says and walks off.
Tetsurou just stands in the middle of the staircase for a bit. “What the fuck just happened,” he wonders, as he hears the door to Sawamura’s floor close.
Then it sinks in.
He’s getting dinner with the hottest man in the world.
“Holy shit, I’m getting dinner with the hottest man in the world! As a date!” Tetsurou screeches.
Twenty minutes later he’s changed into nicer clothes; freaked out in the group chat; got kicked out of the group chat; messaged all his friends individually until they threatened to block him; begged to be let back into the group chat (which they did, out of pity and to get Tetsurou to stop annoying them); applied deodorant and an extra spritz of cologne; and is now waiting in the lobby for Sawamura.
He's about to send the group chat another 10 texts full of exclamation marks and keysmashes when Sawamura appears in front of him.
“Hey! Ready to go?” He asks, holding out a hand.
Tetsurou doesn’t hear him because he’s too busy checking Sawamura out.
The man is wearing dark jeans in a tighter fit than usual and they cling to his legs in all the right places, accentuating the thickness and the muscles beneath. He has on a plain white shirt and an olive green bomber jacket stretched over his broad shoulders, his arms straining the fabric of his sleeves.
Tetsurou can tell he’s wearing the slightest bit of cologne too, though Tetsurou can’t place what it smells like. He wants to bury his face in Sawamura’s neck and breathe him in until he can identify the scent from across a room.
In other words, Sawamura looks delicious and Tetsurou wouldn’t be surprised if he’s drooling a little. He wants to sink his teeth into those thighs and feel those arms holding him.
Sawamura extends his hand further and pushes his mouth closed. “Well that sure is a confidence boost,” he says with a grin, “you look quite good yourself.”
He then uses that hand to take Tetsurou’s, pulling him up to his feet. Instead of letting go he interlocks their fingers.
Tetsurou’s not sure he’ll make it out of this date alive anymore.
He does end up spending a lot of their dinner blatantly checking Sawamura out, much to Sawamura’s amusement. Nonetheless, they manage to make good conversation, learning more about each other, and they find that they get along well and actually have great chemistry together.
When they’ve finished dinner and have spent far too long in the dining hall not to be annoying to others, they walk back to their dorm together, hand in hand again. Sawamura walks Tetsurou all the way to his room, because he’s a gentleman on top of being smart, funny, kind, and sexy as fuck.
Tetsurou thinks he’s okay with being gay if it’s for Sawamura. He thinks it’s hard not to be.
“I really enjoyed tonight with you, Kuroo,” Sawamura says as they’re standing in front of Tetsurou’s door. “Also, I’m flattered that you think I’m so attractive I made you gay.”
He laughs and Tetsurou wants to bottle it up and keep it next to his heart. How was he so sweet too?
“You’re too humble, Sawamura,” Tetsurou smirks, though it’s rendered ineffective by the blush on his cheeks. “I’m sure everyone in the gym wants to jump your bones.”
That probably isn’t the smartest thing to say because something seems to click in Sawamura’s head and his jaw drops open.
“Oh my God,” he starts, his face slowly lighting up in glee, “that day you fell on the treadmill. Was that because you were checking me out?”
“Whaaat,” Tetsurou laughs nervously, “of course not! I just accidentally tripped while I was running!”
“It was, wasn’t it!” Sawamura laughs in delight. “You are seriously doing wonders for my self-esteem, I’m so flattered.”
Tetsurou flushes in embarrassment. “It’s not my fault your thighs are as big as my head and you look like you can bench press me! You’re too hot for your own good, Sawamura.”
“Well then, maybe I won’t offer to go to the gym together someday, for your own safety,” Sawamura snickers. “I’d like to do this again, though. Next time we’ll do something better than a dining hall date, how’s that sound?” His eyes are warm and earnest as he smiles at Tetsurou.
“That sounds perfect,” Tetsurou replies, officially smitten.
Sawamura tugs him down by their still linked hands and presses a soft kiss to his cheek. “Alright. You have my number, don’t be a stranger. See you soon.”
He squeezes Tetsurou’s hand before letting go and stepping away. “Goodnight, Kuroo!” He says, then walks back to the staircase to get to his own dorm.
“Yeah, goodnight, Sawamura,” Tetsurou mumbles distractedly, eyes fixed on Sawamura’s ass. Give him a break, it was the nicest ass on campus and he just went on a date with the guy. He couldn’t not look.
Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go, he thinks, heart fluttering stupidly over the kiss.
He lets himself into his room once Sawamura’s out of sight. He simply stands there for a moment, eyes gazing unseeingly into his room.
Then he flings himself onto his bed and buries his face in a pillow. He screams until his neighbour bangs on the wall in annoyance.
“Holy shit, I think I might have a boyfriend,” he tells his pillow.
“Thank you all for gathering here today for my big announcement,” Tetsurou says, arms spread wide.
He’s collected Bokuto, Kenma, Yaku, and Akaashi in his room again, in an imitation of their meeting a month ago. Akaashi’s brought Konoha as emotional and mental support this time and Konoha’s already rubbing comforting circles into his back as Akaashi stares sullenly at Tetsurou.
“Okay, so,” Tetsurou starts. “You all remember the last time we were here, I’m sure. Well, you’ll all be pleased to know that the crisis has been resolved! I might, in fact, be a little but gay. Also, on a related note, Sawamura and I are dating now.”
His friends send him unimpressed looks at his announcement, save for Bokuto who starts clapping for him. Kenma sighs and shakes his head.
“We know. You texted us about five hundred times when he first asked you to dinner. You literally talk about him everyday.”
“Okay, well, thanks for the support, guys. You could at least congratulate me for my super hot and sweet boyfriend.” Tetsurou huffs, arms dropping.
“Congrats on somehow getting Sawamura to date you,” Yaku says.
Tetsurou ignores the apathy in his tone and beams. “Thank you! He really is wonderful!”
Akaashi leans over to Kenma and mutters, “we should send Sawamura a gift basket or something. As an apology.”
Tetsurou hears this and when he speaks his words are coloured with a warning. “Aw, a gift basket to say congratulations! That’s so nice! You’re right, I am a catch.”
“No, to send our condolences. Poor Sawamura doesn’t know what he’s getting into.” Akaashi tells him bluntly.
“Oh, count me in on that too,” Yaku pipes up, ignoring Tetsurou’s offended gasp. Tetsurou can see Konoha trying to muffle a snicker. “Sawamura deserves something good quality.”
Tetsurou scowls at them all. “Excuse you, I am a delight!”
His friends all ignore him. Even Bokuto—some best bro he is. Tetsurou scowls harder as they start discussing whether a fruit or snack basket would be a better choice to a gift basket.
Tetsurou has to clear his throat loudly (twice) to get their attention again. Konoha is still blatantly looking at gift baskets on his phone.
“Anywho!” He says once they’re all looking at him again (minus Konoha). “That was all I wanted to say. Now that you’ve heard my news, get out of here. Sawamura’s coming over soon and I wanna know what it’s like to suck a dick.”
Kenma groans in disgust and Yaku starts gagging again. Bokuto’s face is scrunched in distaste but he sends Tetsurou a supportive thumbs up anyway, which Tetsurou returns enthusiastically. Best bro status maintained!
Akaashi’s the first one out the door again, pulling Konoha out by the hand and muttering, “I hate you,” to Tetsurou on his way out.
Tetsurou just smiles smugly, and ten minutes later, greets his boyfriend with a kiss.