Chapter Text
Ok, he needed to go over the plan one more time! Nothing could go wrong, and he wanted this to be as easy and quick as possible. If Janus was going to have a crush on Patton he may as well use it to his advantage and make this as painless as possible. He wasn’t some 13-year-old schoolgirl, he refused to let this get in the way of his usual schemes and tricks. Janus would do anything it takes to win Patton’s heart! As that’s the key to power! And of course, blah blah because that sounds nice and all that gushy stuff.
So, step one! He needed to figure out what Patton’s love language was! And listen to him- sounding like Roman, gross. Anyways, this way if he found the language out, it would be the most efficient way to steal his affection. A truly genius and devious idea if he did say so himself.
There were words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. It was easy to figure out most of the others given how obvious they were about it.
Roman and Logan were clearly into words of affirmation. Have you ever seen those two when told they were right about something? Talk about an ego-fest. Remus would be physical touch, he frequently attempted to cling to Janus whenever he could, but mostly when he shouldn’t. You would think Virgil would be tricky to pin his preference down, ha! No. He’s very obvious about his emotions, as per usual, despite how much he attempted to hide them. Huh, maybe he and Logan were quite a pair after all. Not just as a couple, but as a pair of idiots.
Anyways, the guy was practically all glittery and purple a couple of holidays ago after just getting a gift card- the same thing happened before when he received that greeting card from Patton.
Luckily, Janus would never be as evident as any of them about his. And yes, he refused to talk about the time he basically moaned in Thomas’ living room following the wedding when he was told “yeah, you’re right.” But, at least in his humble defense, he was always right so, it was understandable.
Now, back to important matters. Patton.
Gosh, he had spent so much time thinking about Sir. Croaks A lot, it was getting frustrating. At least now he can use it for a purpose.
It only made sense now that he thought about it. His job was partly self-preservation after all, and most of what made Thomas himself was Patton. Patton had the most influence over Thomas’ personality and mannerisms. So naturally, it made sense why Janus would be more drawn to him, it was simply in his job description.
Yeah, that made sense.
Patton was such a hard case, as he was the one consistently handing out affection rather than receiving it. He gave compliments to the others like they were boxes of chocolates. He was a known hugger, despite no one wanting to seemingly participate in them. Patton also constantly gave gifts to the others with Leslie Knope levels of precision. He was such a kind, loving, and mushy person. On one hand, Janus should find it gross, but he must admit it was endearing.
No matter, he’s done this type of thing before. Janus summoned a mirror in his hand, tilting it in different angles to capture his full view. His scales looked luminous and alluring as per usual. Should he put on something special for this occasion? Maybe Patton preferred his lawyer outfit, he remembered the fans finding it charming as all hell.
“Hmmm…” He pondered aloud, no, he looked perfect as is. Though, just in case, he wouldn’t mind conjuring up some flowers to give Patton if gifts were his type of thing. Honestly, Janus thought giving flowers as a romantic gesture was- well, to put it simply, stupid. You couldn’t eat it, well you probably shouldn’t- you couldn’t use it towards something, and it certainly wasn’t as glamorous as jewelry. But, Janus couldn’t help the image that appeared in his mind of the time he watched Patton’s adorable eyes light up like the sun when one of Thomas’ ex’s left big, bright red roses on Thomas' doorstep.
Now, what flowers to swoon Morality with? There were hundreds of those things out there so he couldn’t really decide. Just, whatever popped into his mind first would be what he chose.
White chrysanthemums.
A bouquet of white chrysanthemums tied with a light yellow ribbon materialized in his hands. Ah, these look lovely! Just as lovely as Patton’s face will be when he falls madly in love with Janus. As he said before, his plan was perfected crafted! However, these newfound romantic thoughts that popped into his head were disgusting.
Janus checked his hair in the mirror, he pushed the strands one way then back to the other side before he moved them all over again. The Deceitful side repeated this process for a couple of minutes, and eventually decided on the correct position. Janus deeply wanted everything to be just right for Patton.
He sunk out of his room and popped right in front of Patton’s door. Sure, he could just show up in the exact location he wanted if he really desired. But, he needed to play up the part of a gentleman. What was he? A caveman! Or Remus!
The door was a bright baby blue with a white frame hugged around it. Puppy stickers were stuck all over, some big, some small. Along with those there were a few pictures taped near the top, almost touching the frame. A couple faded from age, and the rest looked like they were taken within the last one or two years. A nameplate with the word "MORALITY" on it in a bubbly font hung right underneath the photographs.
Janus stood up straight, a confident smile plastered on his face, and clean-cut flowers leaned on his chest as he held them up. All he had to do was knock.
Knock.
That’s all he had to do, knock and ask him on a date.
Were his palms usually this sweaty?
This shouldn’t be making him nervous, he was never nervous. What next? Is eyeshadow gonna sprout under his eyes giving him the appearance of an Emo Tobey Maguire reject he knew?
Janus prided himself on his dignified presence and mannerisms. He could easily manipulate anyone he pleased, flirt without second thoughts, so why did some cat-hoodied, overzealous, suburban dad cause his heart to pick up in speed. This must all be a part of that stupid crush again! God, the sooner he entrapped Patton like a moth drawn to a flame this feeling would be gone-
“Oof-”
Janus was taken a little back by the sudden impact of Patton accidentally walking into him.
“Whoops! Sorry Jan, if you’re fine with me calling you that- I didn’t see ya there!” He wiped Janus’ cape down in case he got any hair or dust on it, “I was just on my way to the livin’ room to see if I could find any company!” His smile was slightly off.
Janus knew that ever since the wedding Patton often ended up alone, Roman and Virgil being both mad at him, and Logan never asked to hang out with him before the situation anyways. Given the side’s extroverted nature it was a tad sad to see.
Patton rocked back and forth on his feet while he stood in front of the door waiting for a response back, “Well, uh- I'll be going then. Apologies again!”
“No! Er-” Janus mentally slapped himself, he couldn’t let him leave just yet. “The nickname is fine, I enjoy it! These are for you!” He pushed the bouquet towards Patton’s direction. Come on, Janus! Throw on the charm!
“I picked these straight from the earth itself, hopefully, it somehow can manage to match your own beauty,” Janus smirked and tipped his hat. There, back on track.
Patton titled this head in confusion as he accepted them, “Picked these- You garden?”
“What? No.”
He squinted his eyes, “You just said you got these from the ground, and you wear gloves so I wasn’t sure-”
Good lord, he was focused on the wrong part of the sentence.
Janus paused and just stared at Patton, why does he like this man again? “Anyways!” He shouted, “Would it be fine if I, possibly, could be the company that accompanied you?”
The Moral side laughed slightly, oh, that angelic sound melted his heart. Ew, he sounded like Roman again.
Patton looked to the left, towards the stairs that would lead him downstairs to the location he originally wanted to go to then back to Janus’ eyes. He nodded his head with a grin, a genuine one too! “That would actually be really nice, Janus. Here I’ll-”
Patton turned around and opened the door to his room. “We can hang out alone in my room! Since, you know- it’s just closer, that's all! No other reason.” He sputtered.
Birthday cake. Odd. What was the point of lying in that last sentence? Was he hiding something? Didn't want the others to see Janus with him?
Did he like the idea of the two of them being alone for another reason?
“That idea sounds absolutely dreadful to me.”
“Which means, you think it’s pleasant?”
“Perhaps.” Janus continued as he walked into the room with Patton following close behind as he shut the door.
As he dashed over and carried his new gift over to the nightstand beside his bed, Patton conjured a yellow tinted vase full of water to sit them down in. “Thank you so much for these, by the way, they look really nice!” He rested down the vase carefully, smiling to himself as he walked back over to Janus and gestured for them to settle down on his bed.
“Don’t mention it, you just owe me your firstborn now.”
“Sounds a little pricey for some flowers- but ok- I guess. Hope ya' take IOUs then!”
Patton gently moved most of the many layers of stuffed animals that habited the comforter comfortably so they both would be able to sit down, “Sorry for all the clutter, by the way-” Patton babbled as he continued to lay the plushies on the floor.
“I absolutely mind, this is such an inconvenience.” Janus waved off, “Not the weirdest way to start off a date.”
“Start off a- what? Are we on a date?” Patton’s eyes shot up, his face flushed.
Oh, yeah. Janus forgot to mention that due to being caught up in his nervousness, didn’t he?