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Xiao Jiu doesn’t know where he is.

He doesn’t need to know where he is to not trust it, though.

It’s some kind of healers’ quarters, he thinks. It smells like herbs, like the apothecary next to the brothel does, and he doesn’t think it’s a restaurant, or else they probably wouldn’t have let him in.

Well. It’s not like an apothecary would usually let him in, either, except for when the Madam gives him a note to give the herbalist, but it’s more likely than a restaurant, at least. Sometimes, an herbalist will take pity on Xiao Jiu and bring him into the shop and give him some ointment or something.

(They always want something back. Always, always, always. But if you hit them in the nose and run, then you have their ointment and they’re too busy bleeding to go try and catch you!)

Xiao Jiu still doesn’t trust it, though. He’s not wearing his usual clothes– instead, he’s just wearing one oversized robe, which goes all the way down to his feet and then some, but it’s plainly supposed to be a grown-up’s clothes, since he doesn’t even have anything on underneath. It’s exactly the kind of situation that he’s always warning Qi-ge about, but Xiao Jiu had never actually thought that he’d be the one to end up in a situation like this. Xiao Jiu is smarter than Qi-ge is, and doesn’t trust grown-ups like Qi-ge does, and he’s even faster than Qi-ge is. Xiao Jiu barely ever gets caught by grown-ups, and when he does, he gets away from them really fast. He doesn’t let them change his clothes.

The door is locked, though. And there’s no windows in this room.

Shen Jiu is trapped.

//

The old man with a mustache keeps trying to touch Xiao Jiu.

At first, when Xiao Jiu had pulled his hand away, the old guy had just sorta smiled, the way grown-ups smile when really they just want Xiao Jiu to go away. But he’d kept reaching for Xiao Jiu, and Xiao Jiu kept pulling his hand away, and the old guy kept getting madder and madder.

“Shen-shixiong,” he eventually snaps, “if you don’t want this shidi’s help, then just say so.”

Xiao Jiu just glares at him. He’s not Shen-shixiong, and he doesn’t know who shidi was, and he doesn’t want this weird guy’s help, since he’s probably the one who kidnapped Xiao Jiu anyway.

He’s probably gotten sold, but the old guy didn’t give Xiao Jiu any orders or anything, and he hadn’t even hit Xiao Jiu yet. Not like Xiao Jiu was trying to give him a reason, but if he was a wimp, then Xiao Jiu might as well take a little advantage.

“Very well,” the old guy eventually snaps. “I’ll go and fetch Zhangmen-shixiong, if you won’t cooperate.” He stands up real fast, and Xiao Jiu keeps himself perfectly still so that the old guy doesn’t know that he’s scared, and the old guy storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

What a scumbag.

Xiao Jiu stays seated on the bench, anyway. He’s not an idiot.

…Maybe some of the herbs in here could help Qi-ge.

//

Xiao Jiu is standing on a desk when the old guy with a mustache comes back with some new old guy.

The new old guy gasps, and rushes forward, and the only reason that Xiao Jiu doesn’t flinch and fall is ‘cause of how tightly he’s grabbing onto the shelf.

“Xiao Jiu,” the new old guy says, wrapping his hands around Xiao Jiu’s waist in a way that makes him feel icky. He picks Xiao Jiu up, and turns to place him back on the bench.

“Shen-shixiong shouldn’t climb on furniture,” the old guy with the mustache says, coldly. “Would you permit this Mu-shidi to take your pulse, now?”

Who’s Mu-shidi, huh?? And who’s the new person? He already knows Xiao Jiu’s name, is he his new master? Does that mean that the guy with the mustache doesn’t own him?

Xiao Jiu stays quiet, in his confusion.

“…Qingqiu-shidi?” the new old guy asks. He’s taken his hands off of Xiao Jiu, finally, and he’s squatting down in front of him. “You must be off-center, with your qi deviation. Will you allow Mu-shidi to examine you, yet?”

Xiao Jiu keeps scowling, but if they both want him to hold out his arm, then he’s not going to tempt fate.

He holds out his arm, and tries not to flinch when the mustache-guy wraps his hand around his wrist.

Then, Old Mustache frowns.

“Shen-shixiong,” he says, “what is the last thing you remember?”

Xiao Jiu looks over at the new old guy. Shen might be Xiao Jiu’s last name, but he’s not anybody’s shixiong. The new guy is definitely a shixiong.

“…Qingqiu-shidi?” New Old Guy asks. “There’s no need to be difficult. Mu-shidi just wants to ensure your well-being.”

“That’s not my name,” Xiao Jiu says, before he can think better of it.

Both old guys freeze. Xiao Jiu curses himself in his head. He should’ve known better than to say anything– he was always telling Qi-ge not to talk to strangers, and then he goes ahead and introduces himself? Stupid!

“Is that so,” Mustache Guy asks. He keeps his hand on Xiao Jiu’s wrist, and he’d really like it if he took a step back.

“This one is called Xiao Jiu,” he says. His mouth is dry. “This one apologizes for his rudeness to Master.”

//

After Xiao Jiu introduces himself, the two old guys leave right away. Maybe they were trying to get someone else, after all? That Qingqiu person, maybe. Xiao Jiu doesn’t know any slaves with such a fancy name, though. The fanciest name that he knows a slave has is Hua, and she only got that name so that the Madam would pay more to have her in the brothel.

Maybe– and it’s stupid, but maybe– it’s like those stories that Qi-ge and Xiao Jiu used to tell each other, that they were actually kids who got stolen away from really rich families, and that if their parents ever did find them, then they’d get to go back to where the rich people live and they’d get treated like rich people. Like, maybe Xiao Jiu is the Qingqiu kid’s long-lost twin brother, and Xiao Jiu will get to go back and live with rich people and he’ll be able to buy medicine for Qi-ge and he could take Qi-ge back with him, too, and they’d both be safe.

It’s stupid.

What’s probably actually going to happen is that Xiao Jiu is gonna get in trouble for tricking these people into making them think that he’s whoever Qingqiu is supposed to be, even though Xiao Jiu wasn’t even trying to trick them.

He stays on the bench. If he gets up and walks around, the old guy is probably going to grab him again, and Xiao Jiu doesn’t want to get him any angrier at him than he probably already is, for not being Qingqiu.

So Xiao Jiu just sits on the bench, swinging his legs back and forth. He really wants to check on the herbs in here– he might not be able to read the labels, but he knows what the ones that Qi-ge needs smell like. If he had more time, he would try to find it and maybe stick it up his sleeve, or something, so even when they do decide to beat him for tricking them, he’ll still be able to keep Qi-ge safe.

It’s when Xiao Jiu is just starting to wonder whether or not it’s worth it to get up and start looking that the old guy without the mustache comes back in.

“Xiao Jiu,” he says, sounding sad. Maybe he’s one of the grown-ups who likes to pretend that he doesn’t want to hurt Xiao Jiu, one of the ones who says stuff like “Now if only you hadn’t been so disrespectful” or “Then you shouldn’t have looked at me like that, if you didn’t want this to happen.”

All grown-ups are scumbags, but the ones that lie are the worst. They like to hurt Xiao Jiu even worse than the grown-ups that smile when they do.

“You must be very confused,” the old guy says, kneeling down in front of Xiao Jiu. Nobody kneels down in front of Xiao Jiu, because nobody wants to be lower than a slave, but the old guy doesn’t even look like he cares. “This one should’ve explained things earlier.”

Xiao Jiu frowns at him. Explaining what? Was Xiao Jiu wrong earlier, when he called the guy with the mustache ‘master’? Was this guy really mad?

“This one apologizes, Master,” Xiao Jiu says, before the old guy can try and make him apologize. “Xiao Jiu didn’t know who owned him now, it was his fault.” He tries to get off the bench so that he can kowtow to the old guy, but he holds Xiao Jiu in place by the shoulders.

“That’s not– Xiao Jiu, this one is not your master,” the old guy says. “Xiao Jiu doesn’t have to worry about such things. Xiao Jiu isn’t a slave, okay? Xiao Jiu doesn’t have a master anymore.”

Xiao Jiu frowns. That doesn’t make any sense. Even when he and Qi-ge made up stories about their lives being safe, it was always that they weren’t supposed to be slaves in the first place, not that they stopped being slaves. You can’t stop being a slave, you’re just always a slave.

Maybe it’s a lie. Maybe this old guy is trying to trick Xiao Jiu.

The old guy wilts. “Does– does Xiao Jiu not recognize this one?”

Xiao Jiu racks his brain. He doesn’t think he recognizes the old guy, but maybe he should? Maybe he’s the guy who owns the bakery, or one of the grown-up slaves.

Apparently Xiao Jiu spent too much time thinking, because the old guy just sighs.

“That’s okay,” the old guy says, even though Xiao Jiu knows that it isn’t. “Xiao Jiu must be confused, right? Things must seem strange, hm?”

Xiao Jiu hesitates, but eventually nods. If the old guy doesn’t want him to admit it, then Xiao Jiu will learn soon.

The old guy smiles. He doesn’t tighten his grip on Xiao Jiu, or anything, so maybe he doesn’t mind, actually?

“That’s okay,” the old guy says again. “Is it okay if this one explains things to Xiao Jiu?”

//

The old guy must think that Xiao Jiu is an idiot, or something. Everyone thinks that Xiao Jiu is an idiot, just ‘cause he’s a slave and he doesn’t know how to read, but Xiao Jiu isn’t stupid. He’s smarter than all the other slaves, and Qi-ge says that he might be smarter than some adults, too. Xiao Jiu isn’t stupid.

The old guy says that he’s Qi-ge, all grown up, but Xiao Jiu isn’t stupid. For one thing, Qi-ge is a slave, and everybody knows that slaves can’t be rich, except in stupid fake baby stories, even though Qi-ge is nicer than most slaves are. And for another thing, Qi-ge says he’s a cultivator.

Everyone knows slaves can’t be cultivators. If slaves could cultivate, then they wouldn’t be slaves.

And– finally, but most obviously– if Qi-ge were a grown-up, then Xiao Jiu would be a grown-up, too. That’s how it works.

The old guy tries to explain it to Xiao Jiu, but Xiao Jiu doesn’t listen. If the old guy is lying to him, then he’s going to hurt Xiao Jiu anyway; Xiao Jiu might as well deserve it.

“Okay,” the old liar eventually says. He’s tired of dealing with Xiao Jiu, the way everyone gets tired of dealing with Xiao Jiu. “We can talk more about this later. For now, Xiao Jiu, is it okay if Mu-shidi looks you over? We’re worried that Xiao Jiu might be hurt.”

Xiao Jiu would roll his eyes, if he didn’t know that that would get him hit. Slaves are always hurt.

“Okay,” he says, instead. It’s not like he has a real choice, actually.

The old liar offers him a smile, anyway. “Okay. After that, we can get Xiao Jiu some real clothes, and then some food. Does that sound alright?”

It would, if this were real. Maybe the old liar is gonna make Xiao Jiu beg for the food, the ones who pretend to be nice like it when they can pity Xiao Jiu, and there’s nothing more pitiable than a little slave begging for food.

A shiver runs down Xiao Jiu’s spine.

Maybe the old liar is gonna make Xiao Jiu beg for clothes.

//

The guy with a mustache introduces himself as Mu Qingfang and says that Xiao Jiu doesn’t have anything to fear here, which, yeah right.

Like he wants to prove Xiao Jiu right, Mu Qingfang immediately tells Xiao Jiu to take his clothes off.

Xiao Jiu stiffens, first, before he starts fumbling with the ties and trying to get them off. If he does it fast enough, then maybe–

“Actually,” Mu Qingfang says, before Xiao Jiu can even undo one of the million ties on his clothes, “perhaps it would be easiest if Xiao Jiu just told this master where he is injured?”

Xiao Jiu looks at him, trying to figure out his game. Maybe he’s bad with blood, or something. Wants someone clean, instead.

Mu Qingfang drags a chair over, so that Xiao Jiu is just out of his reach, and sits down with some paper.

“Does Xiao Jiu have any broken bones?” He prompts.

Xiao Jiu gnaws at his lower lip. “…No,” he eventually says.

Mu Qingfang hums thoughtfully. “Any sprains?”

Xiao Jiu frowns at him. “What’s a sprain.” He’s not stupid, but rich people like to use big words for simple stuff sometimes.

“A sprain… it’s a bit like a broken bone, but it hurts less, and there’s usually no bruises. It usually causes swelling.”

Xiao Jiu doesn’t think so. He’d gotten a really swollen knee, once, when he fell off a crate from stealing from the bakery, but that was already a long time ago. At least two months.

“I don’t think so,” he eventually says.

They go on like that for a while, Mu Qingfang asking questions and Xiao Jiu answering. The ones he can, at least– Xiao Jiu doesn’t know if he’s lost all his milk teeth, but he lost one of his permanent teeth from getting punched for not working fast enough; Xiao Jiu isn’t sick right now, but it happens a lot; Xiao Jiu’s back is hurt, but the scars from the whip are already scabbing over, Qi-ge said yesterday.

The worst are the questions that Xiao Jiu doesn’t know the answers to. He doesn’t know how old he is, and he doesn’t know when the last time he ate more than once a day was, and he doesn’t know who his parents are or where he’s from or even the name of the town he lives in, even though on the town gates it has the name carved out of wood.

Every time he says he doesn’t know, Mu Qingfang’s eyebrows pull together and he starts scribbling something on his paper. Xiao Jiu doesn’t like that look– it’s not exactly like a going-to-hit-you look, but it’s closer to a going-to-hit-you look than a not-going-to-hit-you look.

Eventually, Mu Qingfang must run out of questions. He fake-smiles at Xiao Jiu, then stands up slowly. He walks over to the wall of medicine, examines it for a long time, and then pulls out a small jar.

“This is medicine,” he says, squatting down a little bit away from Xiao Jiu. “Would Xiao Jiu like help applying it?”

Xiao Jiu scowls. He doesn’t need medicine, he’s not the one who’s sick.

“This one wouldn’t want to bother Master Mu,” Xiao Jiu says. Maybe Mu Qingfang won’t want to give Xiao Jiu the medicine, if he can’t be the one to make Xiao Jiu take it.

“Okay,” Mu Qingfang says. He puts the medicine down on the bench next to Xiao Jiu. “This one has a set of robes that might fit Xiao Jiu. Does Xiao Jiu need help getting dressed?”

Xiao Jiu flushes. “No,” he snaps, before realizing that he shouldn’t snap at his new master. “That is, this one can dress himself. Thanking Master Mu for his consideration.”

Mu Qingfang fake-smiles again, and pulls a bundle of clothing out of his pouch, setting them down next to the medicine.

“Alright,” he says. “Once Xiao Jiu is dressed, he can come out and Zhangmen-shixiong will take you to get some food.”

Then, finally, blessedly, Mu Qingfang leaves.

Xiao Jiu waits another moment before scoffing. He knows that Mu Qingfang doesn’t like him– he got mad when Xiao Jiu had wanted him to not touch him, and he was probably mad that Xiao Jiu didn’t take off his clothes with him in the room, too. There were a lot of grown-ups like that, who pretended to be nice but got mad when Xiao Jiu didn’t do what they wanted him to do.

Xiao Jiu eyes the door critically before he hefts up Mu Qingfang’s chair and moves it so that it blocks the door from being opened.

Only then does he start to get changed.

//

Lao Qi does, at least, give Xiao Jiu food. He doesn’t even make Xiao Jiu beg for it, but he looks like maybe he was thinking about it. When Xiao Jiu catches that look on his face, though, he just offers a smarmy rich-person smile.

“Xiao Jiu can have as much as he likes,” Lao Qi says. “If Xiao Jiu wants anything, then just tell this Qi-ge, and I’ll get it for you.”

Yeah, Xiao Jiu bets that Lao Qi would just love that. Xiao Jiu knows how it works– if he asks Lao Qi for anything, then he’ll have to pay it back a hundredfold later. Lao Qi would probably have lots of things to ask of Xiao Jiu.

Xiao Jiu eats, anyway. You have to have food to be able to run, and anyway Lao Qi doesn’t even seem to notice the food that Xiao Jiu slips up his sleeves.

“Does Xiao Jiu remember,” Lao Qi eventually says, when Xiao Jiu is halfway through a custard bun, “when he and Qi-ge were young, and Xiao Jiu stole a dozen fruits from a rich man’s orchard, and Xiao Jiu threw one at the rich man, and another at his daughter, before Qi-ge managed to drag him away?”

Xiao Jiu frowns at him. That had been at least a year ago, probably, but how did Lao Qi know about it? The slavemaster never found out about it, ‘cause Xiao Jiu never got whipped for it, and Lao Qi doesn’t look anything like the rich man or his daughter.

“Xiao Jiu remembers,” he says. He’d really like to know who told Lao Qi about all that, but he’s not stupid enough to ask. Slaves shouldn’t question their masters.

Lao Qi forces another smile.

“Is there anything that Xiao Jiu would like to do today?” he asks. “Xiao Jiu can do whatever he likes, he only needs to ask.”

Liar.

“Xiao Jiu will do whatever Master wishes,” Xiao Jiu says.

Lao Qi sighs. “Didn’t this Qi-ge say that Xiao Jiu wasn’t a slave anymore? Xiao Jiu may choose what he likes to do.”

Xiao Jiu scowls. Yeah, right.

“Xiao Jiu will do whatever Master wishes,” he repeats, and Lao Qi sighs again.

“Xiao Jiu needn’t call me Master,” Lao Qi says. “If Xiao Jiu doesn’t wish to call me Qi-ge, he can at least call me Yue Qingyuan.”

“Why would Qi-ge have such a fancy name?” Xiao Jiu demands, before he can think better of it. If this is a trick, then Lao Qi is definitely going to make Xiao Jiu regret it.

Lao Qi just smiles, though. “This Qi-ge is a very important cultivator, now, so he got a new name. Xiao Jiu has a beautiful new name, too. Xiao Jiu’s new name is Qingqiu.”

Xiao Jiu frowns at him. “Xiao Jiu can’t be a cultivator. I’m a slave. Everyone knows that slaves can’t be cultivators.”

Yue Qingyuan’s smile slips, a bit. “That’s not true,” he says. “When Xiao Jiu is all grown-up, Xiao Jiu is a very good cultivator. Xiao Jiu helps this Qi-ge lots and lots with being a cultivator.”

Xiao Jiu scowls. He should’ve known better. Lao Qi was already lying about being Qi-ge, of course he’d lie about Xiao Jiu being a cultivator.

Xiao Jiu doesn’t know what he was expecting.

//

“Does Xiao Jiu remember,” Lao Qi asks, “when he was very small, and Qi-ge was only a little bit bigger than he was, and Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge were sold to a tea shop for a few months? And the old lady who ran the tea shop would give them sweets every day, and even though they made Xiao Jiu feel icky, he never said no?”

Xiao Jiu frowns at Lao Qi. They’re in a room now, one that Lao Qi said was his office, and Xiao Jiu is sitting across the room on a daybed, playing with a fancy fan that Lao Qi gave him. Of course he remembers– it was the only job that Xiao Jiu ever had where he didn’t get hit every single day, and even though he got sick when he ate the lady’s sweets, he’d never gotten any candy before. He wouldn’t give anyone else the candy, and slaves shouldn’t be picky.

“Xiao Jiu remembers,” Xiao Jiu says. He definitely doesn’t know how Lao Qi figured this out– it was a promise between Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge to not ever tell anybody about it, ‘cause the other slaves would be jealous and the slavemaster might get angry. Xiao Jiu knew the others would get mad– he didn’t deserve to have sweets, no matter what the old lady said, ‘cause he was a rotten kid. It was just the old lady and Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge who knew about the sweets.

“This Qi-ge has some sweets, if Xiao Jiu would like some,” Lao Qi says. “These ones shouldn’t get Xiao Jiu sick. Would Xiao Jiu like to try some?”

Xiao Jiu frowns. He hasn’t even done any work today, there’s no way he’d get those sweets for free. The old lady only gave him sweets if he worked hard and didn’t mouth off, and Xiao Jiu’s already been too rude to the people here.

“Xiao Jiu doesn’t want any,” he denies. He flicks the fan open and closed anxiously. Maybe Lao Qi will give him a job, and that way Xiao Jiu can earn the candy.

…On second thought. Maybe Xiao Jiu would just rather not have any candy.

“Xiao Jiu needn’t worry,” Lao Qi says, holding out his hand with a single wrapped candy in it. “Xiao Jiu may have whatever nice things he likes. Xiao Jiu needn’t do anything in exchange. He can have a candy, if he wishes.”

Liar. Lao Qi just wants to get Xiao Jiu within arm’s reach.

“Xiao Jiu doesn’t want any candies,” Xiao Jiu says. Lao Qi’s face falls. Xiao Jiu knew that he shouldn’t trust Lao Qi.

//

After several hours, Lao Qi takes Xiao Jiu out of the office and gives him more food.

Xiao Jiu doesn’t know how he’s going to pay him back. It’s good food, not like the gruel that Xiao Jiu gets from the slavemaster. Good food is expensive food, and Xiao Jiu can’t even afford one piece of expensive food.

“Xiao Jiu needn’t worry,” Lao Qi says. “You can have as much food as you like. No one here will tell Xiao Jiu that he can’t have any food.”

Liar.

Xiao Jiu reaches for a cup of water.

“So,” Lao Qi continues, “Xiao Jiu doesn’t have to keep hiding food. Okay?”

Xiao Jiu freezes. Stealing food is bad, hiding food is worse. He might not’ve been in trouble, but he definitely is now. Stealing food, and hiding it so that he can take it to someone else who isn’t even here, and Lao Qi knows about it–

Xiao Jiu’s arm is shaking, and he drops the cup on the floor, and it breaks.

Xiao Jiu is in so much trouble.

“Xiao Jiu!”

Before Lao Qi can do anything to Xiao Jiu, he falls to his knees and kowtows.

“This one is sorry,” he says, voice trembling. “It was an accident. Xiao Jiu will clean it up. Xiao Jiu will give back the food. This one will– this one will fix it, this one will work hard—”

Before he can finish making promises that he doesn’t know how to keep, Lao Qi lifts Xiao Jiu up off the floor, holding him against his chest the way Xiao Jiu has seen regular people carry their kids.

“This one isn’t angry,” Lao Qi says, and he’s lying. “This one just wants to see if Xiao Jiu is hurt. Xiao Jiu isn’t in any trouble.”

Liar, and adults who lie are the worst, they hurt Xiao Jiu way more than the honest adults, ‘cause at least the honest adults will tell Xiao Jiu what they’re going to do to him.

“Xiao Jiu,” Lao Qi says, his voice soft, “can this Qi-ge see your arms? To make sure that you aren’t bleeding?”

Xiao Jiu is always bleeding. He holds out his arms automatically, though– Qi-ge always wants to know how hurt Xiao Jiu is, and if Lao Qi isn’t Qi-ge, then he’ll get mad if Xiao Jiu doesn’t do what he likes.

Lao Qi takes Xiao Jiu’s arm in his big hand, and he holds it so gently that Xiao Jiu almost wants to cry ‘cause it does sorta feel the way it does when Qi-ge holds Xiao Jiu’s leg to look at a scrape on his knee.

“Okay,” Lao Qi eventually says. “It doesn’t look like Xiao Jiu got any shards of pottery stuck in his arm. Is it okay if this Qi-ge takes Xiao Jiu to see Mu-shidi, so we can get you all bandaged up?”

Xiao Jiu sniffles. “Qi-ge shouldn’t waste bandages on Xiao Jiu.” It’s true, but that’s not why he’s saying it– if Xiao Jiu acts pathetic enough, sometimes grown-ups will give him what he wants. He’s not for real crying.

He’s not.

Acting pathetic and pretending to cry doesn’t always help, though. Sometimes, it makes things worse. People love hitting someone who doesn’t fight back.

“It’s not a waste,” Lao Qi says. “If Xiao Jiu is hurt, then of course this Qi-ge will help him get better.”

Xiao Jiu shakes his head. “But– but Xiao Jiu doesn’t know what the doctor will want in exchange for the bandages. Xiao Jiu can’t– can’t—”

“Shh,” Lao Qi says, and he uses his thumb to wipe some tears away from Xiao Jiu’s eyes. “Xiao Jiu doesn’t need to worry. This Qi-ge will take care of everything. Qi-ge will get the bandages.”

Xiao Jiu shakes his head. He’s the one who usually has to take care of Qi-ge, he’s the one who had to go get the medicine for Qi-ge in the first place, and Xiao Jiu couldn’t afford that, there’s no way Qi-ge can–

“Shh,” Lao Qi says again. He strokes Xiao Jiu’s hair gently. “Xiao Jiu, no one will owe anybody anyone for the bandages. Part of being in a cultivation sect is that you don’t have to pay for bandages. You don’t have to worry, okay? Qi-ge won’t let anyone hurt you.”

He starts walking back towards the doctor’s room, before Xiao Jiu can explain to him why it’s a bad idea.

In the doctor’s room, that Mu Qingfang guy is sitting at his desk, frowning at a book. Xiao Jiu knows that they shouldn’t interrupt him, not when he looks as mad as he does, but Qi-ge just knocks at the already open door.

“Mu-shidi,” he says, “Xiao Jiu had an accident at dinner, would you mind giving us some bandages?”

Mu Qingfang looks up from his book, and Xiao Jiu clutches Qi-ge’s robes for a second, before he remembers he doesn’t trust him, and then–

“Sure,” Mu Qingfang says. He stands up, slowly, and walks over to a drawer and starts rummaging through it. “That’s no problem at all.” He pulls out a roll of bandages– a whole roll, and they look like they haven’t even been used before– and passes them to Lao Qi.

Lao Qi sets Xiao Jiu down on the bench and kneels down in front of him. “Xiao Jiu, can this one see your arms, please?”

Xiao Jiu hesitates, but holds out his arms to Lao Qi, palms up. If Lao Qi is going to use a rod to hit him, then he might as well get it over with.

Instead, Lao Qi just winds bandages around Xiao Jiu’s arms, so gently.

“There we go,” Lao Qi eventually says, voice quiet. “Good job, Xiao Jiu.”

Xiao Jiu just stays still.

//

That night, Lao Qi tucks Xiao Jiu into a real bed. It’s softer than anything Xiao Jiu’s ever slept on before, even softer than when he falls asleep in Qi-ge’s lap. And it’s warm, too, especially with all the blankets that Lao Qi pulls over Xiao Jiu.

“Does Xiao Jiu remember,” Lao Qi asks, voice quiet, sitting on a chair next to the bed, “when he stole three meat skewers from the street vendor, and he gave Qi-ge one and kept the other two for himself? Even though one fell in a mud puddle, Xiao Jiu still ate both.”

Xiao Jiu frowns at him. “No,” he says. He’s stolen meat skewers before, but he always splits them even with Qi-ge.

Lao Qi just hmms. “Then, does Xiao Jiu remember when he and Qi-ge were collecting clay for a potter down at the river, but Xiao Jiu caught a fish and cooked it, instead? And Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge took too long, so we ended up getting caught in the rain on the way back?”

Xiao Jiu frowns at Lao Qi. That’s another secret for just Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge, ‘cause if anyone else knew, then they’d get in trouble for wasting time.

“That was only two days ago,” Xiao Jiu says. And Qi-ge got sick from the rain, too, which was how Xiao Jiu ended up in this mess in the first place.

Lao Qi hmms again, sounding more pleased this time.

“Of course it was,” he says. “Then, does Xiao Jiu remember that Qi-ge said Xiao Jiu was the best cook that Qi-ge knows?”

Xiao Jiu frowns at him. “That’s not what Qi-ge said,” he says. “He said—”

“Ah, that’s right,” Lao Qi interrupts. “Qi-ge said that, maybe if Xiao Jiu had finished cooking the fish, then Xiao Jiu would be the best cook Qi-ge knows.”

Xiao Jiu frowns harder. That’s exactly what Qi-ge said.

Lao Qi smiles and pats Xiao Jiu on the head. “Then, good night, Xiao Jiu.” He stands up, pats Xiao Jiu on the head again, and then leaves.

Xiao Jiu stays lying down, trying to make himself fall asleep. The bed is really comfortable, and the blankets are so warm and heavy, so much better than Xiao Jiu usually feels when he’s trying to fall asleep. He kinda wants to at least try and fall asleep in this comfy bed.

He can’t.

Instead, Xiao Jiu crawls out of the bed with the thinnest blanket there is, and tucks himself in under the desk.

It only takes him a second to fall asleep.

//

The next day, Qi-ge takes Xiao Jiu back to talk to Mu Qingfang.

“Xiao Jiu just needs to answer some of Mu-shidi’s questions,” Qi-ge says, patting Xiao Jiu’s head. “After that, you can have breakfast. Okay?”

Xiao Jiu nods. Answering questions is the least bad thing that Xiao Jiu’s had to do for food.

“Okay,” Qi-ge says. And then, he turns and leaves.

“Xiao Jiu,” Mu Qingfang says, sitting entirely too close to Xiao Jiu, “is it okay if this Mu-shidi asks Xiao Jiu a few questions?”

“Okay,” Xiao Jiu says. He’d rather that Qi-ge be here with him, but it’s just questions. Xiao Jiu’s done worse.

“Okay,” Mu Qingfang says, fake-smiling. “What’s the last thing Xiao Jiu remembers?”

Xiao Jiu frowns. “Qi-ge told me to answer your questions. Then, he left.”

Mu Qingfang’s eyebrows pull together for a second, before he fake-smiles. “Ah, this Mu-shidi should’ve clarified. What I meant was, before Xiao Jiu came here, to this sect, what’s the last thing he remembers?”

Xiao Jiu frowns harder. “Qi-ge got sick.”

Mu Qingfang’s eyebrows pull together again. Xiao Jiu must’ve said something wrong.

“Alright,” Mu Qingfang says, “but what do you remember, specifically? Where was Xiao Jiu, before he came here? Who was he with?”

Xiao Jiu frowns even harder still. “Just in town.”

“Okay,” Mu Qingfang says. “But who was Xiao Jiu with? Was Xiao Jiu with his Qi-ge, or with someone else?”

Xiao Jiu scowls, and crosses his arms.

“It’s alright, Xiao Jiu,” Mu Qingfang says. “You can tell this Mu-shidi anything, alright?”

Liar. People always say that, when they really mean that they want Xiao Jiu to tell him what they want to hear.

“It’s alright, Xiao Jiu,” Mu Qingfang says. “You won’t get in trouble for anything you tell this Mu-shidi.”

Liar.

Xiao Jiu stays silent.

“Was Xiao Jiu with a grown-up?” Mu Qingfang asks. “Was it someone Xiao Jiu knows? Or a stranger?”

Xiao Jiu knows better than to answer that. No one really wants to know what Xiao Jiu has to do, that’s why he never told Qi-ge where he was going. Even if Xiao Jiu doesn’t get food, he’s not answering Mu Qingfang’s questions.

“This Mu-shidi just wants to know. Xiao Jiu won’t get in trouble, no matter what he says. And if Xiao Jiu doesn’t want, then this Mu-shidi won’t tell Zhangmen-shixiong anything. Okay?”

…Xiao Jiu gnaws on his lip.

//

Xiao Jiu breaks another cup.

It’s not an accident, this time– he more than pushes it off the table, and he knows that Lao Qi sees him do it, but he doesn’t get mad at all.

“Is Xiao Jiu okay?” he asks, checking Xiao Jiu’s hands for hurts. “You didn’t get hurt at all, did you?”

“…No,” Xiao Jiu says. “Isn’t Qi-ge mad? Xiao Jiu broke two cups already.”

Lao Qi just smiles. “No,” he says. “Xiao Jiu can break as many cups as he wants. Qi-ge will never get mad.”

Xiao Jiu frowns. “Liar,” he says. “You’d get mad if I broke a million.”

“Qi-ge would just be curious about where Xiao Jiu’s million cups came from,” Qi-ge says, still smiling. He sweeps up the shards of ceramic, setting them aside. “Is Xiao Jiu still hungry?”

Xiao Jiu eyes him. “…No,” he eventually says. “Qi-ge should get mad at Xiao Jiu more often. Xiao Jiu’s a rotten person.”

Qi-ge frowns, his eyebrows drawing together. Xiao Jiu tenses.

“Xiao Jiu shouldn’t say things like that,” he says. “Xiao Jiu isn’t rotten. Xiao Jiu’s a good person.”

Liar.

“No, I’m not,” Xiao Jiu denies. He doesn’t like how this conversation is going– usually, Qi-ge just smiles and says that he needs Xiao Jiu to be as tough as he is, since Qi-ge trusts people too much. If Qi-ge doesn’t think that Xiao Jiu is a bad person, then Qi-ge doesn’t need Xiao Jiu anymore. “I’m a bad person. I broke that cup on purpose. And I’m mean to everybody.”

“Stop that,” Qi-ge says, sharper. “Xiao Jiu isn’t a bad person. Breaking one of Qi-ge’s cups doesn’t make Xiao Jiu a bad person, even if it was on purpose.”

Xiao Jiu scowls. This isn’t how the conversation is supposed to go, and Qi-ge acting all different leaves Xiao Jiu feeling icky and wrong-footed.

“Xiao Jiu is rotten! I’m mean, and I’m selfish, and I trick people, and I break cups—”

“Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge interrupts. He looks like he’s trying really hard not to let Xiao Jiu see that he’s upset. “Don’t say things like that, alright? Xiao Jiu isn’t a bad person. Xiao Jiu isn’t rotten.”

“Yes I am,” Xiao Jiu insists. “If I’m not rotten, then how come everyone treats me so rotten, huh? And I’m mean to everyone, you said that I stole meat skewers that I didn’t share with Qi-ge, and you know that I’m mean to everyone—”

“Xiao Jiu—”

“I don’t wanna talk about this,” Xiao Jiu interrupts. If Qi-ge isn’t going to hit him, then he’s allowed to interrupt. “If Qi-ge keeps lying about Xiao Jiu, then Xiao Jiu will stop being his friend!”

He says that a lot, when he gets mad at Qi-ge for telling Xiao Jiu to be nicer to the other orphans or for telling him not to steal from the shopowners. For some reason, Qi-ge wants to be Xiao Jiu’s friend.

Instead of smiling and saying “Yes, Xiao Jiu,” the way Qi-ge usually says, Qi-ge’s smile collapses and his eyebrows are all pulled together.

Maybe grown-up Qi-ge is just too different from normal Qi-ge. Maybe he’s finally going to get mad at Xiao Jiu and hit him.

Finally, Lao Qi sighs. “I’m not lying,” he says. “But if Xiao Jiu doesn’t want to, then we don’t have to talk about this anymore. As long as Xiao Jiu doesn’t say that he’s rotten again, okay?”

Xiao Jiu frowns, and he’s about to say that he is rotten, and Qi-ge is the one who’s always telling him to tell the truth, when Lao Qi sighs again.

“Okay,” Lao Qi says. “Let’s clean up this table, hm?”

Finally. A job.

//

In Qi-ge’s office, Lao Qi offers Xiao Jiu a tiny desk and some writing supplies, including a fancy brush and a real pot of ink.

“Here,” Lao Qi says, writing something strange on the far side of the rice paper. “Xiao Jiu, this is how you write from one to ten, okay? Do you want to try it yourself?”

Xiao Jiu nods, but tries not to be too obviously eager about it. He takes the brush out of Lao Qi’s hand, and holds himself still when Lao Qi adjusts his fingers.

“This is the proper way to hold it,” Lao Qi explains.

“But this way feels better,” Xiao Jiu says, adjusting his own hand.

Lao Qi just smiles. “Whatever makes Xiao Jiu feel comfortable,” he says. And then, thankfully, he goes back to his own desk to do his own work.

Writing the characters for the numbers is really easy. Xiao Jiu can do them all perfectly by the third try, and by the fifth time, he can write them all without looking.

Xiao Jiu looks between Lao Qi and his own paper. He already knows how to do these characters, and he’s bored of rewriting them over and over again.

Maybe if he stays quiet, tomorrow Lao Qi will teach him more characters.

Xiao Jiu keeps writing those same ten characters, over and over and over again.

“Xiao Jiu,” Lao Qi eventually says, all of a sudden standing next to Xiao Jiu, who doesn’t flinch. “Are you finished with your practice?”

Xiao Jiu nods, and passes Lao Qi his sheet of rice paper. He looks it over very carefully, making approving little noises.

“Xiao Jiu has done well,” Lao Qi says. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small sweet. “Would Xiao Jiu like a candy?”

Xiao Jiu eyes it. He wrote down the characters like Qi-ge asked him to, and he cleaned up after breakfast, which means Xiao Jiu did his work–

“Okay,” Xiao Jiu says. He more than snatches the candy out of Qi-ge’s hand, and shoves it in his mouth before Qi-ge changes his mind.

Lao Qi just smiles.

He pulls out a new sheet of rice paper, and writes six very complicated characters down on it.

“This,” he explains, pointing to the first three, “is this Qi-ge’s new name. Yue, Qing, Yuan. And this” –he points to the next three– “is Xiao Jiu’s new name. Shen, Qing, Qiu.”

Xiao Jiu stares. Those names are way too good for a couple of slaves.

“The same,” he says instead, voice slurred by the candy in his cheek. “The middle character is the same for our names.”

“That’s right!” When Xiao Jiu looks up, he sees Qi-ge beaming at him like Xiao Jiu isn’t a bad person. “The same character, it means that Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge will be together forever.”

Xiao Jiu eyes Qi-ge for a little bit trying to make sure that he’s not lying, but Xiao Jiu can’t see anything on his face that looks like a lie.

“…Good,” Xiao Jiu eventually decides, looking back down at the paper. “If Qi-ge ever leaves Xiao Jiu, then Xiao Jiu will stop being Qi-ge’s friend.” Even though Qi-ge would have way more friends if he did leave Xiao Jiu.

Qi-ge is quiet, then, for a long enough time that Xiao Jiu thinks maybe he went back to his own desk.

Instead, Qi-ge puts his hand on Xiao Jiu’s head.

“Of course,” he says, voice heavy. “This Qi-ge won’t ever leave Xiao Jiu.”

//

“If you’re really Qi-ge,” Xiao Jiu says, even though his mouth is full, “then how come Xiao Jiu is small while Qi-ge is all grown up?”

Qi-ge smiles and pushes a napkin over to Xiao Jiu. Who has the extra fabric for napkins? Sleeves work just as good.

“When you’re a cultivator,” Qi-ge says, “you come across a lot of plants and animals that affect the body strangely. Xiao Jiu happened to come across one of those plants, recently.”

“What’s it called?” Xiao Jiu asks, scrubbing at his face with the napkin. He’s better at eating with his hands, but Qi-ge had said that it’s good to learn to use chopsticks for when he’s a cultivator.

“The Dashing-Petalled Lunar Chrysanthemum,” Qi-ge recites.

Xiao Jiu frowns at him. “That sounds dirty.”

Qi-ge grimaces. “A bit, but it’s not nice to point it out. It’s not as though the flower can choose its own name.”

Xiao Jiu turns his frown on his rice and starts playing with it, but that makes sense. After all, Xiao Jiu hates his name, and it’s not like he could change it, not without becoming some fancy cultivator. And he’s a lot smarter than some flower.

“So if it affects the body,” Xiao Jiu says, mostly thinking it out loud, “then… Xiao Jiu isn’t in the future, right? It’s just that right now is right now. But Xiao Jiu thinks that the past is right now, but for real he’s in the future, but the future is right now. Right?”

Qi-ge is staring at him, looking confused. He looks like that a lot, actually, when Xiao Jiu tries to explain things. Xiao Jiu isn’t very smart.

“Um,” Qi-ge says, “yes? As far as this Qi-ge knows, what happened is that Xiao Jiu was a grown-up, and remembered absolutely everything, but the blossom changed Xiao Jiu’s body and made him forget everything about how he grew up into a cultivator, leaving behind just you. Just Xiao Jiu.”

Oh. That makes a lot more sense than Xiao Jiu’s explanation.

“Huh,” Xiao Jiu says. “So that means that, for real, Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge are grown-ups, right? We stopped being slaves and now we’re grown-up cultivators?”

“That’s right! Since Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge are grown-ups, now, we don’t have to be scared of anything at all. We’re completely safe.”

Xiao Jiu eyes Qi-ge. He’s laying it on a little thick.

“Okay,” he says, anyway. Since Qi-ge’s all grown up, then Xiao Jiu doesn’t need to worry. Qi-ge gets better. Everything’s fine.

//

After lunch– and how weird is it, that Xiao Jiu is already used to eating more than once a day– Qi-ge takes Xiao Jiu to a different mountain.

And he flies on a sword to do it, carrying Xiao Jiu like he’s just a baby.

“Qi-ge can fly on his sword?” Xiao Jiu asks, even though it’s a stupid question, since Qi-ge is carrying him on a sword right now.

“Mm-hm,” Qi-ge says, instead of telling Xiao Jiu what a stupid question that is. “And when Xiao Jiu is a grown-up, he can, too. In fact, Xiao Jiu might be even better at flying on his sword than this Qi-ge.”

Of course Xiao Jiu is better at flying than Qi-ge. Xiao Jiu’s always been faster than Qi-ge.

The peak that they land on is covered with bamboo, and it looks really really fancy, like only rich people live there.

“This,” Qi-ge says, “is Qing Jing peak. It’s where Xiao Jiu lives, as a grown-up.”

Xiao Jiu looks up at him, frowning. “Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge don’t live together anymore?”

Qi-ge fake-smiles. “Xiao Jiu likes to have his privacy from Qi-ge. And we’re both important cultivators, so we both have our own houses.”

Xiao Jiu keeps frowning. He barely ever wants privacy from Qi-ge, and it’s always Qi-ge telling Xiao Jiu to go play with the other kids instead of with him.

“…I have my own house?” he asks, instead. Xiao Jiu never gets to sleep in a house– the best he gets is a woodshed, but usually he sleeps in an alleyway or out in a field.

“That’s right,” Qi-ge says. “Would Xiao Jiu like to see it?”

Xiao Jiu nods. Qi-ge sets him down on the ground, just holding him by the hand, and guides him along the path through the bamboo. It’s really quiet, on this mountain.

“Xiao Jiu’s Qing Jing peak,” Qi-ge explains, “is an academic peak. Xiao Jiu focuses on spiritual cultivation, but Qing Jing also has a very large library. Xiao Jiu tells me often that I should come and read more books. This Qi-ge thinks that perhaps Xiao Jiu has read all the books on his peak.”

Xiao Jiu stares. “Really?” He can still only read numbers, and his and Qi-ge’s new names. There’s no way Xiao Jiu would ever be good enough at reading to read a whole book, much less all the books on a whole mountain.

“Yes, really,” Qi-ge says. “Xiao Jiu is a very good reader. Probably the smartest cultivator in our sect.”

Xiao Jiu can’t even imagine it, him being a cultivator– and the smartest cultivator in a sect, at that. It makes at least a little sense for Qi-ge to be a cultivator, because Qi-ge is a good person, and good people should be cultivators, not slaves, but Xiao Jiu is rotten. He’s only smart for a slave, he’s not actually smart.

Maybe Lao Qi is lying to make Xiao Jiu feel better. Qi-ge does that, sometimes, like when he says that he’s okay with only having Xiao Jiu as a friend or that he doesn’t mind sharing food or that he’s only a little bit sick, Xiao Jiu doesn’t need to go get medicine–

But Xiao Jiu knows better.

The house that Qi-ge takes him to is incredible. It’s almost all white, except for a blueish-greenish roof. It’s even got a wooden porch that wraps around the house, and there’s a really fancy circular door that leads into a room that has so much stuff in it, up on shelves looking all fancy and new.

“Can I go in?”

Qi-ge’s waiting out on the porch like he’s not sure if they should go in, and if Qi-ge can’t go in, then Xiao Jiu definitely can’t go in.

“Of course you can,” Qi-ge says. He looks into the house, takes a deep breath, and guides Xiao Jiu inside.

It’s probably the fanciest building that Xiao Jiu has ever been in, even fancier than the brothel and even fancier than Qi-ge’s new house. It’s a really simple decoration style, but it just makes it look fancy, not cheap, the way simple stuff usually looks. Elegant, that’s the word, it looks elegant. It’s big, too– besides the one big room, that he and Qi-ge had first walked into, there’s a hallway, and a big bedroom, and another smaller bedroom, and a big closet and even a kitchen and a bathtub, Xiao Jiu’s never had a bathtub before.

“Why doesn’t Qi-ge live here with Xiao Jiu?” Xiao Jiu asks, again. It’s another stupid question, ‘cause Qi-ge already explained why not, but the house is definitely big enough for Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge to live there together, especially since there’s two whole bedrooms and one is just the right size for big Qi-ge and one is just the right size for Xiao Jiu.

“So that Xiao Jiu has more time to read, without Qi-ge interrupting,” Qi-ge says. “And so that Xiao Jiu has lots of time to practice his qin.”

Xiao Jiu copies Qi-ge’s hmm, but he doesn’t really believe him.

“What else is on this peak?” he asks, instead.

//

That night, Qi-ge tucks Xiao Jiu into the bed in the house on Qing Jing, instead of taking him back to Qi-ge’s mountain.

“Is Qi-ge still spending the night?” Xiao Jiu asks. He’s not scared, or anything, but he’s not used to sleeping all alone. He didn’t even like sleeping alone last night, and Qi-ge had been in the same house. If Qi-ge leaves, then anyone could walk into the house and hurt Xiao Jiu.

“Qi-ge will stay until Xiao Jiu falls asleep,” Qi-ge says, smoothing the blankets down over Xiao Jiu. “And Qi-ge will be back before Xiao Jiu wakes up tomorrow.”

Xiao Jiu frowns. “But Qi-ge isn’t staying the night?”

Qi-ge fake-smiles again. “Xiao Jiu is safe here. And Mu-shidi thought that if Xiao Jiu got some sleep by himself, that it could help him get better.”

But Xiao Jiu isn’t sick, though. Qi-ge’s the one that’s sick.

“You have to be here before I wake up,” Xiao Jiu orders. “Or else Xiao Jiu will stop being Qi-ge’s friend.”

Qi-ge keeps fake-smiling. “Of course,” he says. He strokes down Xiao Jiu’s hair in a way that makes Xiao Jiu feel icky. “Does Xiao Jiu remember,” he asks, “when Xiao Jiu was very small, and he got separated from Qi-ge, and when he came back, Xiao Jiu had a bag full of steamed buns, and Qi-ge had a handful of tanghulu, and neither of us would tell the other where we got the food?”

Xiao Jiu furrows his brow. He only a little bit remembers that– it’s been a long time, and Xiao Jiu can’t remember all the details, but he remembers being scared ‘cause Qi-ge wasn’t there with him, and later Qi-ge giving him a whole tanghulu.

“Xiao Jiu remembers,” Xiao Jiu says. “But that was a long time ago.”

Qi-ge hmms. “It was, wasn’t it,” he says. “Does Xiao Jiu remember what Qi-ge said to him, that day?”

Xiao Jiu frowns at him, but considers. “Qi-ge said… Qi-ge said that if Xiao Jiu is going to sneak off and make Qi-ge worry, that Qi-ge wouldn’t let Xiao Jiu have any tanghulu ever.”

Qi-ge fake-laughs. “Is that what Qi-ge said?” he asks, and Xiao Jiu nods. He’d been really mad when Qi-ge said that, and he’d ended up pretending to cry so loud that Qi-ge had to give him a tanghulu.

“This Qi-ge remembers Xiao Jiu saying something back to him, though,” Qi-ge continues. “This Qi-ge remembers Xiao Jiu telling Qi-ge that, if Qi-ge didn’t give him any tanghulu, Xiao Jiu would run away to as far away in the west as he could go, and he’d tell everyone there that Qi-ge is an evil warlord.”

Xiao Jiu scowls at Qi-ge. That sounds like something Xiao Jiu would say, but he doesn’t remember that at all. And he would never go so far away from Qi-ge, ‘cause if Xiao Jiu left Qi-ge, he’d have no one he could spend time with and nobody who would help him beg. Not to mention, Xiao Jiu’s never been to the west.

“Xiao Jiu wouldn’t actually leave,” Xiao Jiu mumbles. “Even if Qi-ge never gave Xiao Jiu tanghulu ever, Xiao Jiu wouldn’t do that.”

Qi-ge for real smiles, finally.

“That’s very kind of Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says. He pats Xiao Jiu’s head. “This Qi-ge is lucky to have Xiao Jiu as a friend.”

Xiao Jiu frowns. “Is not,” he says. “If Qi-ge didn’t have Xiao Jiu as a friend, then Qi-ge would have lots of better friends. Like Liu-jie, or Wu-ge. They don’t wanna be friends with Qi-ge ‘cause Qi-ge’s always with Xiao Jiu.”

Qi-ge’s smile falls away. “No,” he says. “Xiao Jiu is the best friend that Qi-ge could ever have.”

Xiao Jiu scowls. “Qi-ge said that he wouldn’t lie about Xiao Jiu anymore, ‘cause Xiao Jiu would stop being Qi-ge’s friend.”

Qi-ge’s lips twitch in a bad way. Maybe he’s really mad at Xiao Jiu, now.

“Okay, Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says. He pats Xiao Jiu on the head. “Qi-ge won’t talk about this anymore. Just get some rest, okay?”

Xiao Jiu frowns at Qi-ge one last time, then turns his back on him to lie down on his side. He stays lying there, perfectly still and breathing deeply, until Qi-ge finally leaves.

The bed in this house is a lot less soft than the one that Xiao Jiu tried and failed to sleep in last night. The pillows are rock hard, too, like the fancy ones that rich people use. It’s better than the bed from last night, but that’s not saying much.

Again, Xiao Jiu takes the thinnest blanket off the bed and tucks himself in under the desk.

He doesn’t sleep very well– he doesn’t like being alone, and especially not sleeping alone, ‘cause that’s when it’s easiest for someone to hurt Xiao Jiu. He has a nightmare about Qi-ge getting hurt, and a nightmare about being with the guy he was with before he got here, and another nightmare about getting run down by a horse.

When he wakes up for the last time– a long time before the sun rises– Qi-ge isn’t back.

//

Qi-ge takes Xiao Jiu back to talk to Mu Qingfang again.

Xiao Jiu doesn’t like Mu Qingfang. Not at all. Mu Qingfang asks weird questions, and Xiao Jiu knows that he doesn’t like him, and Xiao Jiu doesn’t like how Mu Qingfang makes him feel.

But Xiao Jiu stays sitting on that bench, anyway.

He doesn’t say anything to Mu Qingfang– no matter how many times Mu Qingfang says that he won’t tell Qi-ge, or that Xiao Jiu won’t get in trouble, Xiao Jiu knows better.

And today, Xiao Jiu is angry and tired and he glares at Mu Qingfang, even though he knows he should be good and shouldn’t give Mu Qingfang a reason to be mean to him again, but he doesn’t care, today, he just wants Mu Qingfang to leave him alone and not ask mean questions about where he was before he came here and who he was with.

He’s not crying when Mu Qingfang finally says that it’s fine, that they can be done for today. And he’s double not crying when Qi-ge finally comes back and lifts Xiao Jiu to carry him against his chest.

“Xiao Jiu has been doing so well,” Qi-ge murmurs. “You’ve been very brave. Qi-ge is very proud of you.”

Xiao Jiu sniffles, and rubs his face dry against Qi-ge’s shoulder, even though the clothes he’s wearing are probably really expensive and Xiao Jiu could never afford them.

“Does Xiao Jiu want a candy?”

Xiao Jiu sniffles again. “Xiao Jiu didn’t answer Mu Qingfang’s questions. I didn’t earn a candy.”

“Xiao Jiu earned a candy,” Lao Qi lies. “Just trying is enough for Xiao Jiu to deserve a reward.”

Liar, liar, liar. It’s not a prize, it’s something that Xiao Jiu will have to work off later, nobody pays Xiao Jiu in advance, that’s not how it works and trying doesn’t get anybody anything, if you don’t work you don’t eat and it doesn’t matter how hard you tried if you didn’t get the job done and even the old lady at the tea shop didn’t give Xiao Jiu candy if he didn’t do the work for the day and Xiao Jiu hasn’t earned anything here–

“Shh, Xiao Jiu, shh,” Qi-ge says. “Don’t cry, alright? Xiao Jiu hasn’t done anything wrong.”

Liar!

“Xiao Jiu, it’s fine. Xiao Jiu doesn’t have to earn candies here, remember? Xiao Jiu is safe here, Xiao Jiu isn’t a slave.”

Liar. Xiao Jiu’s always going to be a slave, just a rotten little slave, that’s it. So Xiao Jiu can’t get used to this, or else he’ll forget that he’s just a slave, and nobody likes a slave already, much less a slave that doesn’t know his place, and he’s still tired–

“Xiao Jiu, it’s okay,” Lao Qi says again, moving Xiao Jiu’s hair behind his ear, but Xiao Jiu is tired and he doesn’t do anything right and he’s a rotten person, so he turns and bites Lao Qi’s hand as hard as he can.

Instead of jerking his hand away and hitting Xiao Jiu like he deserves, though, Lao Qi just goes still and breathes in real hard, waiting for Xiao Jiu to stop biting him. He’s just standing there in the hallway like an idiot, still carrying Xiao Jiu even though Xiao Jiu has his hand between his teeth. It probably looks like Lao Qi is trying to tame a rabid dog, like the dogs that Xiao Jiu fights for food sometimes.

“Xiao Jiu,” Lao Qi says, gently, “please don’t bite this Qi-ge. If you have my hand in your mouth, you won’t be able to tell Qi-ge what’s wrong.”

Everything’s wrong.

But Xiao Jiu lets go of Lao Qi’s hand anyway, spit trailing between Lao Qi’s hand and Xiao Jiu’s mouth. Lao Qi examines his hand, but it’s not even bleeding, and it barely looks like Xiao Jiu bit it at all.

“It’s not nice to bite people,” Lao Qi says, even as he keeps walking down the hall. “If something is wrong, Xiao Jiu should use his words. Otherwise, Qi-ge won’t know how to fix things.”

Qi-ge can’t fix anything, it’s always Xiao Jiu who has to fix things after Qi-ge gets sick or when there’s not enough food or when someone starts hitting Qi-ge.

Except Xiao Jiu is rotten. He’s usually one of the ones who starts hitting Qi-ge, after all, and Qi-ge can’t fix Xiao Jiu. No one can fix Xiao Jiu.

“Xiao Jiu isn’t a nice person,” Xiao Jiu says, instead. “Xiao Jiu is rotten.”

“Xiao Jiu isn’t rotten,” Lao Qi disagrees. “Just overwhelmed.”

Liar. Lao Qi is as bad a liar as Qi-ge is.

“Yes I am,” Xiao Jiu snaps. “I’m mean and cruel and rotten and I broke two cups on purpose and I’m always hitting people and I bit you—”

“You’re not rotten,” Lao Qi interrupts. “You’re eight.” He’s gotten back to his office, finally, and he sets Xiao Jiu down in a chair before kneeling in front of him. “Just because you do some not-so-nice things sometimes, that doesn’t make you rotten.”

Xiao Jiu scowls at him. He’s tired, and his head hurts, and Lao Qi said he wouldn’t talk about this anymore.

“You should’ve hit me,” he says, voice low. Lao Qi’s eyebrows are drawing together, but Xiao Jiu’s mouth is moving without his input, now. “That’s what happens to rotten little slaves who disrespect their masters, isn’t it? If you hit me, then I would be what you want. I’d stop being rotten. I’d probably answer Master Mu’s questions, too. That would be easy. I’d do whatever you want.”

“Xiao Jiu, I’m not going to hit—”

“Go on, then,” Xiao Jiu interrupts. “I won’t fight. Qi-ge would barely need to stain his nice new robes. Xiao Jiu is a rotten person, but I’m an obedient slave. I’ll do whatever Qi-ge wants. I’ll be good for Qi-ge, like you want.” He winds his arms around Lao Qi’s neck the way that guy had wanted him to, wanting Xiao Jiu to be a coquettish little concubine, that means pretending like he doesn’t want it, and looks Lao Qi in the eyes. “Come on, Qi-ge. I bet you’d like it as much as all the others do. Prove that you’re really a cultivator and hit me, just once. Hit me. Hit me. Hit me hit me hit me hit me hit me–!” Lao Qi wants to pretend to be a good person so bad, wants to get Xiao Jiu to come closer, to do what Lao Qi wants, wants Xiao Jiu to believe that Lao Qi is a good person, so prove it, prove it, prove it already, just hit him already, let Xiao Jiu stop hoping–

Lao Qi stands up so suddenly that Xiao Jiu’s balance fails him, and he collides hard with the back of the chair. He glares up at Lao Qi, trying not to tremble or flinch, even though Lao Qi is breathing hard and has his fists at his sides the way all the worst grown-ups do.

“I’m not,” he says, breathing hard like he’s holding himself back, “going to hit Xiao Jiu.” He takes a deep breath, eyes shut. “Stay there,” he finally adds.

Then, Qi-ge leaves.

Xiao Jiu stays sitting in the chair, not crying, barely breathing, and staring at the door through which Qi-ge had just left.

He draws his knees up to his chest. Just in case.

//

Qi-ge doesn’t come back.

Instead, it’s Mu Qingfang who comes in through the door, opening and closing it quietly, nearly silently. Like he’s keeping it a secret that he’s in here with Xiao Jiu.

“Xiao Jiu,” he says, quietly. He looks around the room, probably looking for a place to sit.

Instead of pulling over a chair, though, or making Xiao Jiu move somewhere more convenient, he just sits down on the floor in front of Xiao Jiu, like Xiao Jiu is an emperor or something.

“Is it okay if we talk?” he asks.

Xiao Jiu scowls. Talks never go well for him.

“Yes,” he says, instead. It’s not like Xiao Jiu has a choice.

“Are you sure?” Mu Qingfang asks, instead. “Xiao Jiu can say no.”

Liar.

“Fine, then,” Xiao Jiu snaps. “It’s not okay if we talk.”

And then, humiliatingly, he bursts into tears.

Mu Qingfang doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t leave, either. He just passes Xiao Jiu a handkerchief– a nice handkerchief, one Xiao Jiu would never be able to afford– and waits until Xiao Jiu is calm again. Or, at least, until he’s no longer crying, instead just clutching the snotty handkerchief and staring at Mu Qingfang while he tries to breathe.

“Does Xiao Jiu still not want to talk?” Mu Qingfang asks. His legs are crossed, and he’s staring up at Xiao Jiu with his hands in his lap so Xiao Jiu can see where they are. “It’s alright if you don’t. But this one finds that talking things out after a fight makes him feel better. It might make Xiao Jiu feel better, too.”

Xiao Jiu stares at Mu Qingfang suspiciously, still drawing in raggedy breaths.

“You have to stay there,” he eventually says. “You can’t get any closer to me than that.”

Mu Qingfang fake-smiles. “That’s fine. As long as you’re comfortable.” He’s quiet for a moment, staring up at Xiao Jiu, before he finally lets his smile drop. “Can this shidi ask what Xiao Jiu and Zhangmen-shixiong fought about?”

Xiao Jiu sniffles, twisting the handkerchief in his hands. “Qi-ge is an idiot,” he mumbles.

“Is that so?” Mu Qingfang asks mildly, instead of scolding Xiao Jiu for calling Qi-ge names. “Why does Xiao Jiu say so?”

Xiao Jiu sniffles again. “‘Cause– ‘cause– ‘cause even though Xiao Jiu’s a horrible little brat, Qi-ge won’t do anything about it.”

Mu Qingfang’s eyebrows draw together and he frowns, but he just shifts so that he’s leaning backwards on his hands, even farther from Xiao Jiu. “Did Zhangmen-shixiong say that?”

Xiao Jiu frowns at him. “Yeah.”

Mu Qingfang frowns harder, his eyes going sharp and mean, and Xiao Jiu stays perfectly still. “Zhangmen-shixiong called Xiao Jiu a horrible little brat?”

Oh. That.

“No,” he says. “Ever since Xiao Jiu got here, Qi-ge’s been saying that Xiao Jiu isn’t rotten. He just said that he wouldn’t do anything about it.”

Mu Qingfang’s face smooths out. “I see,” he says. “What makes Xiao Jiu think he’s a rotten brat?”

Xiao Jiu twists the handkerchief harder. “‘Cause I am. I’m mean to everyone, and I call people names, and I hit people, and I bite people, and I even break cups on purpose. Everyone knows I’m rotten and that I don’t even know my place and that I’m disrespectful and that I steal.”

Mu Qingfang hmms exactly the same way that Qi-ge always does. “Really?” he asks. “I don’t think you’re rotten.”

Xiao Jiu scowls at him. “You don’t even like me. I don’t answer your questions no matter how many times you ask, and I don’t let you touch me– and I know you don’t like me for that– and I took bandages from you without even giving you anything back.”

“That doesn’t make me think you’re rotten,” Mu Qingfang says. “It’s okay for you to not want people to touch you, Xiao Jiu. I’m sorry that I got angry with you for not wanting me to touch you. And it’s okay if you don’t want to answer my questions, too.”

Xiao Jiu stares at him. Mu Qingfang raises an eyebrow in return.

“Nobody’s ever told Xiao Jiu they’re sorry before,” he says. Nobody apologizes to a slave, and double nobody apologizes to a slave as rotten as Xiao Jiu. Even when people are mean to him, Xiao Jiu deserves it.

But Mu Qingfang’s eyebrows are furrowed, and he’s staring at Xiao Jiu with a frown on his face. “No one?”

Xiao Jiu looks away. “Not for just touching Xiao Jiu.” He doesn’t want to look back at Mu Qingfang, who’s probably still frowning.

“Then,” Mu Qingfang eventually says, “this Mu-shidi is also sorry that not enough people have apologized to Xiao Jiu. It’s not nice to not apologize to people who deserve it.”

Xiao Jiu shakes his head, still not looking at Mu Qingfang. “It doesn’t matter for Xiao Jiu. Xiao Jiu’s a rotten person, anyway. You don’t apologize to rotten people.”

Mu Qingfang sighs. “Xiao Jiu, no one here thinks you’re rotten.”

“Doesn’t matter what you think, Xiao Jiu knows he’s rotten.”

“Why? For biting people and breaking cups? Xiao Jiu, if everyone who’s ever bitten anyone were a rotten human, there’d be no good men in all the world.”

Xiao Jiu turns back to frown at Mu Qingfang. “I steal stuff, too,” he says. “And I fight with the other kids. And I hit Qi-ge, and I call him names, and I’m a slave who doesn’t even know his place and I cause trouble and I don’t do what people say and even when I do my best, it’s no good. I’m rotten.”

“Just because Xiao Jiu does some mean things sometimes doesn’t make him rotten,” Mu Qingfang says. “Does Xiao Jiu feel bad for doing those things?”

Xiao Jiu scowls at him. Of course he feels bad about it. He doesn’t like it when Qi-ge gets hurt, even when it’s Xiao Jiu who hurt him in the first place. And when he causes trouble, people will hit Qi-ge, too, ‘cause Qi-ge’s supposed to be responsible for Xiao Jiu.

“Yeah,” is all he says.

“Then Xiao Jiu isn’t rotten,” Mu Qingfang says, like it’s just that easy.

“Yes, I am.”

“Why?” Mu Qingfang asks. He cocks his head to the side like a little kid. “This Mu Qingfang has broken cups, too. On purpose. And I’ve bitten people, and I’ve hit people, and I’ve fought, and I’ve called my gege names. I don’t always do what people say, and I used to cause lots and lots of trouble. I’ve even stolen things. Does Xiao Jiu think this Mu Qingfang is rotten?”

Xiao Jiu scowls. “No.”

“Why not? This Mu Qingfang has done everything that Xiao Jiu has done, that Xiao Jiu says makes him rotten.”

Xiao Jiu struggles for a moment, pulling at the handkerchief while he revolves the problem around in his mind. Mu Qingfang probably isn’t rotten, right? That would be too easy. Maybe it’s something else that Xiao Jiu is supposed to be understanding? Because Mu Qingfang is a cultivator, and cultivators aren’t rotten people…

“Because you’re not a slave,” Xiao Jiu eventually decides. Slaves are more rotten than actual people, Xiao Jiu knows, and if Mu Qingfang were a slave, he would’ve said so when he was talking about how he and Xiao Jiu are the same.

“Then,” Mu Qingfang says, “does Xiao Jiu think that his Qi-ge is rotten?”

Xiao Jiu is shaking his head before Mu Qingfang is even done answering the question. “Qi-ge is a good person! He puts up with Xiao Jiu and he shares food and he doesn’t even hit Xiao Jiu when Xiao Jiu deserves it!”

Mu Qingfang smiles. Xiao Jiu can’t tell whether it’s for real or for fake.

“So,” he says, “if it’s not the things that Xiao Jiu has done that make him rotten– because this Mu-shidi has done things like that, too– and it’s not his being a slave– because Zhangmen-shixiong was once a slave, too– then why does Xiao Jiu think he’s rotten?”

Xiao Jiu frowns at him. He tries to turn it over in his brain again, like he did earlier, but Mu Qingfang is right.

“I just am,” he decides. “Some people are born rotten, like me. And some people– like Qi-ge– are born good. And no matter how bad people like Xiao Jiu are, people like Qi-ge won’t hit me, even when I deserve it.”

“When does Xiao Jiu deserve it?” Mu Qingfang asks. He’s not smiling at all, and Xiao Jiu shifts in his seat.

“When I’m acting rotten,” he says. “Like when I bit Qi-ge. He should’ve hit me.”

Mu Qingfang sits back up straight, real slow. “Didn’t Xiao Jiu say that hitting people makes you rotten?”

“Yeah, but– but it doesn’t count, if you’re hitting Xiao Jiu. ‘Cause Xiao Jiu deserves it.”

“Always?”

Xiao Jiu gnaws on his lip, but eventually nods. He feels icky.

“…This Mu-shidi doesn’t agree.” Mu Qingfang has uncrossed his legs and sticks them out straight. “Why does Xiao Jiu think he always deserves to get hit?”

“Because– because—” Xiao Jiu sniffles and realizes that, again, he’s started crying in front of someone who’s basically a stranger. “Because, if Xiao Jiu doesn’t always deserve to get hit, how come– how come—!”

“How come people hit Xiao Jiu so much?” Mu Qingfang offers, voice soft. Xiao Jiu hiccups, and nods desperately. Xiao Jiu has to deserve it. That’s the only explanation. ‘Cause Xiao Jiu works just as hard as Qi-ge does, or at least as hard as Si-jie does, too ugly to go to a brothel, and he tries his best usually, he really does, and he doesn’t steal every day–

“Unfortunately, this Mu-shidi doesn’t know,” Mu Qingfang says, voice still soft like the old lady from the teashop. “But I don’t think it’s Xiao Jiu’s fault. Sometimes, cruel people like to take their anger out on people who are weaker than them. Sometimes, rotten people will see people who can’t fight back and will hit them for fun. But I’ve only known Xiao Jiu for a few days, but I don’t think you’re rotten at all. Xiao Jiu seems very smart and very responsible, especially for how young he is.”

Xiao Jiu sniffles, then blows his nose in Mu Qingfang’s handkerchief. He hates crying in front of other people. When he’s a grown-up, he’s never going to cry.

Mu Qingfang at least waits until his tears are all dry to ask him his next question.

“Did Xiao Jiu and Zhangmen-shixiong fight because of that? Because Zhangmen-shixiong wouldn’t hit Xiao Jiu?”

Xiao Jiu sniffles again, all of a sudden embarrassed for throwing a tantrum. No one likes rotten little slaves who throw fits. “Sorta.”

“Sorta?”

Xiao Jiu nods. “Sorta.”

Mu Qingfang sighs. “Unfortunately, this shidi is a bit stupid. Can Xiao Jiu explain what he means by ‘sorta’?”

Xiao Jiu frowns at him. Mu Qingfang isn’t stupid, he’s a doctor.

“Xiao Jiu told Qi-ge to hit him,” he mumbles. “I said it a bunch of times. And I said a lot of mean things to him, too.”

Mu Qingfang hmms. “Xiao Jiu must feel bad,” he acknowledges. “But this shidi doesn’t think that Zhangmen-shixiong will hold it against Xiao Jiu. Xiao Jiu has had a long few days, and you must be confused and overwhelmed. I’m sure if you tell him you feel bad, then he’ll forgive you.”

Of course he will. Qi-ge’s a pushover.

“Do you want to talk to Zhangmen-shixiong now? Or would you like some time to yourself, first?”

Xiao Jiu rubs his eye with his fist. “Time to m’self.”

Mu Qingfang hmms again, and then scoots back to stand up. Xiao Jiu had almost forgotten how tall he was, while he was sitting on the floor. “Alright, this Mu-shidi will tell Zhangmen-shixiong that the two of you will talk in a little bit. Is that alright?”

Xiao Jiu hesitates, just a little bit, but nods. Qi-ge hates talking about when he and Xiao Jiu fight, so if Xiao Jiu waits too long, then Qi-ge will definitely just tell him to forget about it.

“Alright,” Mu Qingfang says again. He turns, like he’s going to leave, then freezes and turns back around. He looks down at Xiao Jiu for a second before he squats down.

“Xiao Jiu,” he says, “you know your Qi-ge wouldn’t ever hit you, right?”

Xiao Jiu breathes in a little shaky. He wants to know that Qi-ge wouldn’t ever hit him, but that’s not always realistic.

“I just wanted to make sure,” he says, quietly. “Just so I know for sure, that Lao Qi is still Xiao Jiu’s Qi-ge.”

Mu Qingfang smiles. Again, Xiao Jiu can’t tell if it’s fake or real.

“Alright,” he says. He stands up all slow again. “If anyone here hits you, come get me or your Qi-ge, okay? We’ll take care of them for you. Even if it’s your Qi-ge, this Mu-shidi will take care of him.”

Xiao Jiu nods, even though he doesn’t exactly know what a healer like Mu Qingfang would do. Make people eat really bitter medicine? And Qi-ge wouldn’t even hit Xiao Jiu, who’s basically the easiest person in the world to hit, much less anybody else.

“Good,” Mu Qingfang says. And finally, he leaves.

//

When Qi-ge comes back, he looks like he really doesn’t wanna be there. Maybe Xiao Jiu went too far, really, and even though Qi-ge won’t hit him, he’s still tired of Xiao Jiu.

“Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says, instead. He kneels down in front of Xiao Jiu, far enough away that they can’t touch each other.

Xiao Jiu really shouldn’t have tested Qi-ge. He’s never gonna wanna touch Xiao Jiu ever again.

“Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says, again. “Can you look at this Qi-ge?”

Xiao Jiu hadn’t realized he wasn’t. He glances up at Qi-ge’s face, then finds it to be too much and focuses on Qi-ge’s hands, instead.

Qi-ge sighs. “Okay,” he says, but Xiao Jiu thinks he’s talking to himself, more than Xiao Jiu.

“Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says, for the third time, like it’s stuck in his throat and it’s the only words he can say. “It’s important to this Qi-ge that Xiao Jiu knows, this Qi-ge will never, ever, hit Xiao Jiu. No matter what.”

Xiao Jiu glances back up at Qi-ge’s face. His eyes are all red, like he’s the one who was just crying.

It’s easier for Xiao Jiu to look at Qi-ge’s hands.

“This Qi-ge won’t do anything that will hurt Xiao Jiu. And if this Qi-ge hurts Xiao Jiu on accident, please tell me, okay? Otherwise Qi-ge might not know. But Qi-ge will always say sorry to Xiao Jiu for hurting him, no matter what.”

Xiao Jiu swallows. Even Qi-ge doesn’t usually say sorry for hurting Xiao Jiu, even if it is on accident. ‘Cause it’s usually Xiao Jiu’s fault for being in the way in the first place.

“This Qi-ge is sorry for upsetting Xiao Jiu, earlier,” Qi-ge says.

And then he’s bowing! To Xiao Jiu! Even though Qi-ge’s already a big cultivator, and Xiao Jiu’s still just a stupid little slave!

“Qi-ge!” Xiao Jiu shrieks. He and Qi-ge don’t bow to each other, that’s weird! Especially since Qi-ge’s already a rich cultivator! “Qi-ge doesn’t have to bow!”

Qi-ge straightens up. “Qi-ge wanted Xiao Jiu to know that he’s sincere. That he really means it.”

Xiao Jiu gnaws on his lip uncertainly. He knows Qi-ge means it, but he also knows that Qi-ge is a good person and a cultivator, and good cultivators can’t stand villains.

“What if Xiao Jiu breaks another cup?” he asks. “Or, or if Xiao Jiu breaks another ten cups? Or if Xiao Jiu bites Qi-ge again, or hits him? Qi-ge still won’t hit Xiao Jiu?”

Qi-ge’s smiling, now. That’s good, even if it’s fake. “Even if Xiao Jiu breaks a hundred cups,” he says. “And this Qi-ge would prefer it if Xiao Jiu didn’t bite Qi-ge, but Qi-ge won’t hit Xiao Jiu for biting him. I’ll use my words to ask why.”

Xiao Jiu keeps chewing on his lip.

“What if Xiao Jiu lies?” he asks. He’s been lying to Qi-ge a lot, lately, but it’s not his fault. Not all the way. “What if Xiao Jiu has been lying and keeping secrets from Qi-ge?”

Qi-ge’s smile stutters, but he keeps it fixed to his face. “It’s okay for Xiao Jiu to have secrets from Qi-ge. I won’t hit you.”

“What if– what if Xiao Jiu hurts someone? Or steals money?”

“This Qi-ge will go with Xiao Jiu to apologize and return whatever he stole.”

Xiao Jiu stares Qi-ge down. He must’ve bitten his lip almost raw, by now, but he can’t make himself stop.

“No hitting?”

“No hitting. This Qi-ge promises.”

“If Qi-ge breaks his promise,” Xiao Jiu eventually says, “Xiao Jiu will stop being his friend. And I mean it! Mu-gege said if anyone hits me, I can tell him and he’ll take care of them!” Mu Qingfang might not look very threatening, but he could probably take Qi-ge on in a fight. Qi-ge’s not good at fighting.

Qi-ge laughs, a for-real laugh this time. It’s nice to hear Qi-ge for-real laughing again. “Xiao Jiu has very powerful friends,” he praises. “This Qi-ge won’t break his promise. It would be very scary to take on Mu-shidi in a fight.”

Xiao Jiu nods fiercely. “So no hitting.”

“No hitting,” Qi-ge agrees, still smiling. He offers a pinky. “Does Xiao Jiu still trust pinky promises?”

Xiao Jiu huffs. He only learned about pinky promises two months ago, and they’re always trustworthy, ‘cause if Qi-ge breaks his promise, he has to chop off his pinky finger, and that’s his favorite finger.

“Hug,” he says, instead.

Qi-ge blinks, like he’s surprised, but obligingly opens his arms for Xiao Jiu to slip into. Big Qi-ge’s hugs are almost as good as regular Qi-ge’s hugs. It’s warmer, which is nice, but he’s too big.

“This way,” Xiao Jiu mumbles, “if Qi-ge breaks his promise, he has to cut off both his arms. Not just his pinky.”

Qi-ge makes a noise like he started laughing, but then choked on his own spit.

“Of course,” he says, voice shaking. Maybe he’s scared. “But Xiao Jiu doesn’t need to worry about that. Qi-ge won’t ever hurt Xiao Jiu.”

Xiao Jiu hmphs and squeezes Qi-ge tighter. “Either way.”

//

Even though Xiao Jiu definitely doesn’t deserve it, Qi-ge still lets him have as much food as he wants at lunch. He doesn’t eat much, and Qi-ge acts all worried about it, even though Xiao Jiu is just eating as much as he usually does, when he isn’t at some magic cultivation sect.

“Is Xiao Jiu feeling unwell?” Qi-ge asks, one hand pressed against Xiao Jiu’s forehead. “You feel a little warm… Xiao Jiu can eat as much as he wants, remember?”

Xiao Jiu scowls, and shoves Qi-ge’s hand off of him. “I know already! Xiao Jiu just isn’t hungry!”

Qi-ge frowns in his worried Qi-ge way. “Okay,” he says, like he doesn’t really want to say it. “If Xiao Jiu gets hungry later, just tell this Qi-ge and I’ll get you some food, okay? Xiao Jiu can have as much food as he likes.”

Xiao Jiu rolls his eyes. Qi-ge always says the same thing a hundred times, even when Xiao Jiu already gets it.

“Xiao Jiu knows,” he snaps. “Qi-ge needs to stop being annoying. Xiao Jiu just isn’t hungry!”

Qi-ge raises his hands, and Xiao Jiu stares him down for a second, just in case he forgot his promise, but Qi-ge is just surrendering.

“Okay, Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says. “If you’re not hungry, then would you like to go and do some writing practice? When you get hungry, we can come back and get some food.”

Xiao Jiu huffs, but nods.

This time, Qi-ge writes down a lot more characters, and they’re all a lot more complicated, even more than the characters in his and Xiao Jiu’s fancy new names.

“These are the names of the peaks in our Cang Qiong sect,” Qi-ge says. “Qiong Ding is Qi-ge’s peak. That’s where we are right now. And Qing Jing is Xiao Jiu’s peak. It’s second only to Qi-ge’s peak.”

Xiao Jiu stares down at the characters on the page, mouthing them to himself to make sure he didn't get them mixed up.

“Xiao Jiu can work on these, for now,” Qi-ge says. “When you’re done, you can come show Qi-ge, and I’ll write down some more characters for you to practice. Okay?”

“‘Kay,” Xiao Jiu agrees. It’ll take him a long time to memorize all these characters, probably, ‘cause he doesn’t care about any of the mountains ‘sides from his and Qi-ge’s.

“Alright,” Qi-ge says. He pats Xiao Jiu on the head before he finally goes back to sit behind his desk.

Xiao Jiu works hard at his writing practice. It’s hard, ‘cause he keeps looking back at what Qi-ge wrote, and then the ink drips off the brush and looks like another stroke and then Xiao Jiu has to start all the way over.

Maybe he’s just not very good at writing, no matter what Qi-ge says.

He’s only just figured out how to write the characters for Cang Qiong without looking when he finally starts flagging.

He should’ve known he would fall asleep. He didn’t sleep good last night, and he’d cried twice earlier. He always sleeps more after he cries.

But still. He hasn’t even written Qiong Ding at all, yet, or Qing Jing, and those are Qi-ge’s and Xiao Jiu’s peaks.

Xiao Jiu glances up at Qi-ge, who’s sitting at his desk and not looking at Xiao Jiu. He’s busy doing his own work, right now. He probably won’t notice if Xiao Jiu falls asleep, right? As long as Xiao Jiu moves the ink and the brushes and the papers out of the way, he should be fine, right?

But Xiao Jiu really wants to finish writing. If he falls asleep while he’s writing, maybe Qi-ge won’t let him learn any more words. Maybe he’ll go back on his word and make Xiao Jiu go back to doing regular work, again.

“Is Xiao Jiu done?” Qi-ge asks, without looking up from his papers. Xiao Jiu tries not to flinch.

“…Nuh-uh,” Xiao Jiu mumbles. He wants to finish writing. If Qi-ge says that he’s supposed to be a smart cultivator, then Xiao Jiu should at least be able to write the names of all the peaks in his sect.

“Xiao Jiu can take a break, if he likes,” Qi-ge says. “If you need to rest, then you can go ahead and rest. Xiao Jiu won’t get in trouble for taking a nap.”

Xiao Jiu frowns at Qi-ge. Naps are for rich young masters and bored wives and well-known courtesans. Not slaves. Slaves were supposed to do work, and if they aren’t working, then they’re lazy. And lazy people are rotten.

But… Qi-ge did say that Xiao Jiu isn’t a slave while he’s here. And Mu-gege said that if anybody hit Xiao Jiu, even Qi-ge, then Mu-gege would take care of them. And Qi-ge had promised not to hit Xiao Jiu ever, too. And even if they were both lying, Xiao Jiu can deal with getting hit, just a little bit.

“No touching Xiao Jiu while I’m sleeping,” Xiao Jiu warns. If old Qi-ge is actually mean, then it’s stupid to warn him that Xiao Jiu is about to be vulnerable. But if old Qi-ge is nice, then it’s okay to warn him, so that he doesn’t do something that’ll make Xiao Jiu bite him.

“Alright,” Qi-ge agrees, easily. He’s still just staring at the papers on his desk.

Xiao Jiu frowns at him some more, just to make sure, but Qi-ge doesn’t even look up.

Xiao Jiu corks the ink, pushes the desk just a little bit away, and then curls up on his chair. It’s not the least comfy place he’s ever slept, but it’s hard enough that he actually can fall asleep, even with old Qi-ge in the room.

It only takes him a few seconds to fall asleep.

//

Xiao Jiu, again, has bad dreams.

They’re dark, and he doesn’t entirely understand what’s happening in them, but they’re awful. There’s hands on him and there’s loud breathing and he can’t move and it’s dark and Xiao Jiu hates it, but he can’t get the hands off of him, can’t make the breathing stop, can’t escape–

“Xiao Jiu!”

There’s hands on him, but Xiao Jiu is awake, now, there can’t be hands on him–

He strikes out, like the horrible little snake he is. His hand stings, and his eyes are open now, and Qi-ge is kneeling in front of him, his right cheek bright red, his eyes wide.

Xiao Jiu hit Qi-ge. And Qi-ge didn’t even do anything to deserve it.

Xiao Jiu promptly bursts into tears.

“Xiao Jiu, you’re okay,” Qi-ge says, even though Xiao Jiu hit him for no reason and now he’s crying like a baby.

Qi-ge reaches out to touch Xiao Jiu– probably just to wipe away his tears, or some other stupid Qi-ge thing– but Xiao Jiu is a rotten little kid, so he smacks Qi-ge’s hand away first.

“Don’t– don’t touch me,” Xiao Jiu snaps, even though he’s still crying.

“Okay, Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says, because he’s a good person and he even cares about a rotten kid like Xiao Jiu. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to. Okay?”

Xiao Jiu chokes out a sob and buries his face in his hands. He doesn’t want to look at Qi-ge, with the mark from Xiao Jiu slapping him so bright and so clear on his face.

He doesn’t know how long he spends, his face buried in his hands while he cries, his shoulders hitching with every desperate breath he takes. He wants to be back to normal, back with his Qi-ge, not this weird old Qi-ge who’s too tall and doesn’t talk to Xiao Jiu the same way normal Qi-ge does. Even if Qi-ge is sick, even if Xiao Jiu did have to do bad stuff to get his medicine, Xiao Jiu doesn’t care. He just wants to go back to where he should be.

When he finally pulls himself together and lifts up his face, Qi-ge is sitting in front of him, looking like he wants to cry, too.

“Does Xiao Jiu feel better?” Qi-ge asks. He sounds hopeful, the way Qi-ge does after Xiao Jiu gets sick.

Xiao Jiu sniffles, then nods miserably.

“That’s good,” Qi-ge says. “Did Xiao Jiu have a bad dream?”

Xiao Jiu nods again, feeling even worse.

“…Would Xiao Jiu like to talk about it?”

Xiao Jiu shakes his head fiercely. What happened to him is a secret from Qi-ge, ‘cause Qi-ge hates when Xiao Jiu gets hurt, and he double hates when Xiao Jiu gets hurt for trying to help Qi-ge, and he triple hates when Xiao Jiu gets involved with bad adults. Xiao Jiu’s not telling.

“Okay,” Qi-ge says again. Xiao Jiu can see his brain trying to think from here. “What about… would Xiao Jiu like a hug? Would that make you feel better?”

Xiao Jiu sniffles again, examining Qi-ge closely. He doesn’t want hands on him, but he does want the comfort from Qi-ge’s hugs. Qi-ge’s supposed to be safe.

“You don’t hug me,” Xiao Jiu orders. “I can hug Qi-ge, but Qi-ge can’t touch me back.”

Qi-ge’s face crumples, a bit, but he fixes it even faster than Qi-ge usually does.

“Okay,” Qi-ge agrees, putting his hands at his sides.

Xiao Jiu observes him suspiciously, but does slide off of the chair that he’d been sitting on– where did that desk go?– and wraps his arms around Qi-ge’s shoulders. Even with Qi-ge sitting all the way down and Xiao Jiu standing up, big Qi-ge is taller than Xiao Jiu by kind of a lot. Xiao Jiu has to stretch up to bury his face in Qi-ge’s shoulder so that he can hide his tears a little more.

Hugging Qi-ge without him hugging Xiao Jiu back isn’t as comforting as Xiao Jiu thought it would be. It feels kinda cold, actually, and Xiao Jiu doesn’t like it.

But he’d like it less if Qi-ge were touching him.

Eventually, Xiao Jiu lets go of Qi-ge and steps away.

“Sorry,” he mutters. Nobody likes a needy slave. Or a slave who tells them what to do or not to do. Or a kid who can’t even sleep properly.

“Xiao Jiu doesn’t need to apologize,” Qi-ge says. He has his hands in his lap, now, and is trying to make it look like he’s looking up at Xiao Jiu even though he’s still taller than Xiao Jiu. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about your nightmare?”

Xiao Jiu shudders. “Yes,” he says. “Xiao Jiu doesn’t wanna talk about it at all.”

“Okay,” Qi-ge says, quietly. “That’s just fine, Xiao Jiu. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He shifts, minutely, but it’s just to be a little further away from Xiao Jiu. That’s good. “It’s almost dinnertime. Is Xiao Jiu hungry?”

Xiao Jiu sniffles, again, then scrubs at his nose with his sleeve. He shouldn’t be, he should be used to not eating much every day.

“Yeah,” he says, instead. He’s not as hungry as he has gotten, like when he’s gone for days without eating, but there’s lots of food here. It’s okay, right?

“Okay,” Qi-ge says, again. He stands up, real slow, until he’s towering over Xiao Jiu again. “Shall we go?”

//

That night, Qi-ge tucks Xiao Jiu into the bed on Qi-ge’s Qiong Ding peak again, on the too-soft bed with the too-soft pillows.

“If Xiao Jiu needs this Qi-ge for anything,” Qi-ge says, softly, “then you can come get me from my office, okay? If Xiao Jiu leaves this bedroom, and turns left, Qi-ge’s office is the very next door. Okay?”

Xiao Jiu nods, even with his head on the soft pillow.

“Does Xiao Jiu know which is his left?”

Xiao Jiu rolls his eyes, and withdraws his left hand from under the blankets to wave at Qi-ge, who smiles.

“Good,” Qi-ge murmurs. He pets Xiao Jiu’s hair down, which makes Xiao Jiu feel just a little bit icky. But it’s Qi-ge, so it’s fine.

“This Qi-ge will be just next door,” Qi-ge continues. “I’ll keep Xiao Jiu safe from bad dreams.”

No, he won’t. Qi-ge says that whenever Xiao Jiu has bad dreams, but then Xiao Jiu just has more bad dreams anyways. Qi-ge’s just another kid, he can’t stop bad dreams.

Maybe now that Qi-ge’s a grown-up, though, maybe he can? Grown-ups can do lots of things that kids can’t, Xiao Jiu knows.

“Okay,” is all Xiao Jiu says.

Qi-ge smiles at him, and pats Xiao Jiu on the head one more time.

“Alright,” he says. “Try and rest in the bed tonight, okay, Xiao Jiu? It’s good for you.”

Qi-ge says a lot of things are good for Xiao Jiu, but Xiao Jiu’s pretty sure he’s wrong.

“I’ll try,” Xiao Jiu agrees, reluctantly. He sleeps better on the floor, is all.

“Good boy,” Qi-ge says. Xiao Jiu doesn’t like it when people call him good boy. It’s okay if they say he did a good job, or that he’s done well, or that he’s very smart, but not good boy. That makes him feel weird. “Get some rest, okay?”

“Okay,” Xiao Jiu agrees. “G’night, Qi-ge.”

“Good night, Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says. Finally, he stands up and leaves the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Xiao Jiu stays lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He’s not sure how long it’ll take him to fall asleep, in this fancy too-soft bed, but he doubts it’ll be before Qi-ge himself goes to sleep. Stupid rich people bed. Stupid rich person Qi-ge.

Xiao Jiu keeps staring up at the ceiling. It’s a pretty fancy ceiling, which is stupid, since who even cares if a ceiling is a fancy. It’s not like anybody spends a lot of time staring up at ceilings, except for when they’re in bed and can’t fall asleep.

Xiao Jiu sighs, heavily.

He said he’d try.

//

There’s hands on him. There’s hands all over him instead of just on his head and his hips and his legs like the hands really were. The hands are all over him and there’s people calling him good boy and little slut and saying don’t you like this actually and so young but already so good with your hands and Xiao Jiu hates it, he hates it, he tries to fight but the grown-ups are too strong with their hands on him and even when he bites they don’t let go and they won’t get off of him and no matter how hard Xiao Jiu hits they won’t let go of him but Xiao Jiu can’t stop fighting because if he stops fighting he won’t be able to go back to Qi-ge and he has to go back to Qi-ge in order to give him the medicine and—

Xiao Jiu jolts awake in a cold sweat. He’s soaking wet, and he can’t even really breathe, and he just wants Qi-ge, and he can still feel the hands on him—

Xiao Jiu screams. He shouldn’t scream, he shouldn’t let anybody know that he’s vulnerable, that he’s scared—

Qi-ge slams the door open, and he almost looks like the slavemaster who gets mad when the slaves make too much noise at night, or like the grown-ups who yell out their windows when the slaves are too loud, and Xiao Jiu tries to shut the fuck up already like the grown-ups always say, but—

Instead of hitting Xiao Jiu or telling him to shut the fuck up or even yelling at him at all, Qi-ge just approaches the bed, too fast, his hands open and at his side.

Xiao Jiu throws himself at Qi-ge, wrapping his arms around Qi-ge’s neck and clinging, still sobbing, even though he’s all sweaty and dirty and Qi-ge should yell at him and tell him not to make him dirty, since Qi-ge is a rich and important cultivator and Xiao Jiu is still just a dirty little slave—

Instead, Qi-ge wraps his arms around Xiao Jiu, holding him against his chest. Then Qi-ge turns around to sit on the bed, holding Xiao Jiu in his lap, hugging him like he’s scared Xiao Jiu will run away if he lets go.

Xiao Jiu hates it. Hates the feeling of hands on him, hates how much Qi-ge is touching him, hates being in Qi-ge’s lap even though Qi-ge won’t hurt him, not the way that other grown-up did, but Xiao Jiu still hates it, but what he hates more than anything is that he doesn’t want Qi-ge to let go. He should push Qi-ge away, should try and keep himself safe and keep Qi-ge clean instead of being clung to by a filthy little slave, but instead Xiao Jiu just clings even tighter. He has his eyes pressed shut and he’s hugging Qi-ge tight enough that normal Qi-ge would be complaining by now, telling Xiao Jiu that he’s not going anywhere, but big Qi-ge hugs Xiao Jiu back just as tight. Even with Xiao Jiu’s eyes shut, tears keep leaking through and Xiao Jiu can’t hardly breathe, with how hard he’s hugging Qi-ge and how he still feels like he’s in the bad dream, except for now there’s Qi-ge here and Qi-ge smells like sandalwood and pine and Qi-ge is safe, Qi-ge has to be safe.

Xiao Jiu can’t hardly breathe.

“It’s okay, Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge mumbles. “It’s okay. It’s just a bad dream, okay? Just a bad dream. Qi-ge’s right here. Everything’s just fine.”

It’s not okay, nothing’s okay ever. Shen Jiu just keens into Yue Qi’s shoulder. He tries to breathe, but he still can’t, he can still feel the hands all over him and the dirty feeling from when he was trying to get money to buy Qi-ge’s medicine, but he doesn’t wanna let go, he just wants to hide from everything and let Qi-ge protect him, but he can’t, Xiao Jiu was the one who was supposed to protect Qi-ge, this time, but he messed that up, too–

Shen Jiu chokes on his own spit and starts coughing, violently, into Lao Qi’s shoulder. He can’t stop it, he can’t calm himself down, he can’t breathe, his mouth is too wet and he’s still too scared, even with Lao Qi hugging him and patting his back to try and get him to stop coughing and to stop crying, Xiao Jiu can’t breathe—

Xiao Jiu faints.

//

He’s not all the way awake. Maybe halfway? Or two-thirds of the way, even. But not all the way.

He thinks that it’s better, to be part asleep and part awake. If you’re not all the way awake, you can’t feel if something hurts, and if you’re not all the way asleep, you can’t have scary dreams. If you’re part asleep and part awake, then nothing hurts and there’s nothing scary.

The bad thing about being part awake and part asleep, though, is that you don’t know what time it is. You don’t know how long anything takes. You’re just kinda there.

Someone’s carrying him. He can feel that much. And they’re being all soft, too, carrying him the way rich people carry little kids. Usually people just drag him around by the wrist, or carry him slung over their shoulder, like a sack of rice. Not whoever’s carrying him. They sway back and forth, like they’re trying to lull him to sleep, and they rub his back up and down, real soft.

This person is safe.

He nuzzles closer to them, only half-aware of what he’s doing. The person carrying him just pats his back and hushes him, even though he didn’t say anything.

“So– is he going to be okay?” the person carrying him asks. It’s probably been a little while, but he can’t really tell. He’s only partway there.

“…Difficult to say,” someone else says. “Shen-shixiong is remarkably stubborn. The Dashing-Petalled Lunar Chrysanthemum relies on an openness to resolving one’s heart demons…”

“…Are there no herbs that could assist things? So that he could recover?”

“There are herbs to calm him, and to stabilize the flow of his qi, but… for resolving the issue at the root, he needs to resolve his heart demons. If it doesn’t happen soon, then his condition will continue to deteriorate. And it’s possible that his physical condition will never return to normal. All told… the current outlook seems grim.”

The person carrying him squeezes him even tighter.

“So,” they say, “there’s no– that is, the only thing keeping Xiao Jiu from recovering, is–?”

“His body could return to normal with the proper treatment, but the problem is his mind. If he doesn’t resolve his heart demons, then his mind would likely remain fractured and unstable.”

The person carrying him puts their hand on the back of his head, pulling him even closer.

“I see,” they say. They breathe deeply, like they’re trying to calm themself down. “Thank you…”

He drifts off again.

//

When Xiao Jiu wakes up, he’s still in Qi-ge’s bed. Did he sleep all the way overnight? In such a soft bed? There’s no way. He doesn’t even remember having bad dreams.

Xiao Jiu still just feels so tired, though. Like he didn’t sleep at all, actually.

When he tries to sit up, his vision goes all blotchy and dark and he feels really dizzy and uncomfortable. The way he does when he goes for too long without eating food. But he ate yesterday, didn’t he? He had almost two whole meals.

Qi-ge isn’t here. Maybe he’s still in his office? He’d said that Xiao Jiu could come get him, if he ever needed to.

Carefully, Xiao Jiu slides out of Qi-ge’s bed. He feels sticky and kind of tacky, the way he always does after he gets sick. Did he get sick overnight? He doesn’t think so, but he might have. It would explain why he feels kinda sick, with his eyes being all weird and feeling all dizzy.

He can still walk, at least. Sometimes he can’t, after he gets sick or after somebody hits him real hard. But he’s feeling okay enough to be able to walk.

He makes his way across the room and carefully, carefully slides the door open. Just ‘cause Qi-ge said it was okay doesn’t mean that everyone else thinks that it’s okay.

Xiao Jiu looks back and forth down the hallway. There’s no one there, luckily, so he steps out of the room and shuts the door quietly behind him. He turns to the left and carefully walks down the hallway, left hand on the wall, until he comes to the next door.

Should he knock? Qi-ge is an important cultivator, now, and important cultivators probably have important meetings that little kids shouldn’t interrupt. Is knocking still interrupting? Does it still count?

But Qi-ge had said that Xiao Jiu could come get him if he needed anything, so it shouldn’t count. Right?

Slowly, Xiao Jiu works the door open and peeks inside. Sitting at the big desk is Qi-ge, staring down at some papers, holding his head in his hand.

“What is it,” he says, voice all rough. He hadn’t even looked up. Could important cultivators tell when people opened doors without looking up? Cultivators could see real well, Xiao Jiu knows, but he hadn’t known that they could hear well, too.

Xiao Jiu swallows and shifts from foot to foot. “Qi-ge said I could come get him, if I need anything…”

Qi-ge sits up sharply, staring at Xiao Jiu like he’s seen a ghost.

“Xiao Jiu!”

Qi-ge gets up from behind his desk, approaching Xiao Jiu quickly. He stops, a few steps from Xiao Jiu, and kneels down so he’s not so tall.

“Is Xiao Jiu feeling alright? Do you feel sick? Did you have another nightmare? Are you hungry?”

Xiao Jiu stares at him. “Why are you asking so many questions,” he blurts out. He and Qi-ge just talked last night, Qi-ge shouldn’t be this worried. “Xiao Jiu is fine.”

Qi-ge is still frowning at him. Slowly, he reaches out and takes Xiao Jiu’s hands in his own.

“Does Xiao Jiu not remember?” he asks. “Xiao Jiu got very, very sick. You’ve been in bed for more than two days.”

Xiao Jiu frowns. He’s never gotten that sick before, but that’s mostly ‘cause Xiao Jiu usually has to get up and do stuff, even if he is sick. He’s never rested for two whole days before.

“Xiao Jiu doesn’t remember…” he says. He doesn’t like not understanding what’s going on or not remembering what’s happening. He feels the same way he did all those days ago, when he’d first woken up in Mu-gege’s office. Off-balance.

“That’s alright,” Qi-ge hurries to say. “Mu-shidi did say that Xiao Jiu might have some trouble remembering. Is Xiao Jiu hungry? Should we go get some food?”

Xiao Jiu takes his hands out of Qi-ge’s and nods. Two days isn’t that long without food, but Qi-ge keeps offering, so Xiao Jiu won’t say no. And normal Qi-ge would be upset if he heard that someone was offering Xiao Jiu food with no strings attached and Xiao Jiu said no. You need to get as much food as you can, especially when it’s fresh and there’s no strings attached.

“Alright,” Qi-ge says. He stands up real slowly. “Would Xiao Jiu like to hold hands, or would you like me to carry you?”

“Hold hands,” Xiao Jiu says. He doesn’t want Qi-ge’s hands all over him.

“Alright,” Qi-ge says. He takes Xiao Jiu’s hand real gentle and guides him out of the office again.

//

After breakfast, Qi-ge takes Xiao Jiu back to Mu-gege’s office. He still doesn’t like Mu-gege’s office, with how much it smells like herbs and how mean Mu-gege was to him when Xiao Jiu was first in here.

At least Qi-ge is in here with him, this time, sitting next to him on the bench. Mu-gege is sitting on a chair over by his desk, mostly looking at a notebook.

“Xiao Jiu,” Mu-gege eventually says, “I need to have a really serious talk with you. Is that okay?”

Xiao Jiu hesitates, but nods. Xiao Jiu doesn’t really want to, but Mu-gege’s always been trying to get Xiao Jiu to have a serious conversation with him. It must be important.

“Alright,” Mu Qingfang says. “Would you like your Qi-ge to be here with you? Or would you like to be here by yourself?”

Xiao Jiu reaches over and clutches Qi-ge’s robes in his fist. “With Qi-ge,” he says. Qi-ge puts his hand on Xiao Jiu’s head gently.

“Alright,” Mu-gege agrees. “If you change your mind, you can just say so, and I’ll kick him out. Okay?”

Xiao Jiu hesitates, but nods.

He doesn’t think he’s going to enjoy this conversation.

“Okay,” Mu-gege says. He finally looks up to Xiao Jiu, still smiling. “Xiao Jiu, have you noticed that you’ve been having a lot of nightmares lately?”

Xiao Jiu nods, hesitantly. Usually he only has one bad dream a week or so. Lately, he’s been having bad dreams every single day.

“That’s a symptom,” Mu-gege says. “It’s something that’s happening because you’re sick.”

“I’m not sick,” Xiao Jiu denies, immediately. Qi-ge’s the one who’s sick, not him.

“If you weren’t sick, you wouldn’t be having nightmares,” Mu Qingfang explains. “You might not feel sick right now, but if you keep going without treatment, you’ll start feeling worse and worse.”

Xiao Jiu frowns at him. He knows how being sick works.

“The thing about this kind of sickness,” Mu-gege continues, “is that Xiao Jiu has to speak honestly in order for this Mu-shidi to cure you. You have to be completely honest about everything.”

Xiao Jiu really doesn’t think he’s going to like this conversation.

“Xiao Jiu,” Mu Qingfang says, staring at Xiao Jiu with alarming focus, “where were you, before you appeared here?”

//

Xiao Jiu should just answer their questions. Should tell them about the old guy, and the money that Xiao Jiu didn’t manage to get, and the apartment that the old guy took him to. Qi-ge is an important cultivator, now, he can protect Xiao Jiu from the old guy. And Mu-gege had said that he would take care of anyone who hit Xiao Jiu, too, but the old guy isn’t even in this sect, so they might both not care.

And besides. It’s a secret from Qi-ge.

If Qi-ge knew, he’d just feel guilty.

But Xiao Jiu just goes silent.

He doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t know what he should tell Qi-ge and Mu-gege that’ll keep them from hating him, from knowing that he’s dirty like the girls who get caught by old men in alleyways or the courtesans who got started too early.

So Xiao Jiu doesn’t say anything.

“It’s okay, Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says. He has Xiao Jiu’s hand in his own, and Xiao Jiu hates it. Hates the feeling of his own Qi-ge touching him. He never used to hate it– he used to curl up with Qi-ge during the winter, when it was too cold to sleep alone, but Xiao Jiu doesn’t think he’ll ever do that again. Even when it gets cold enough that somebody dies overnight, Xiao Jiu won’t want to.

Xiao Jiu doesn’t say anything.

“Xiao Jiu won’t get in trouble for anything he says,” Mu Qingfang lies, Xiao Jiu knows he’s lying. “We just want to know so that Xiao Jiu can get better and stop having nightmares.”

“Xiao Jiu doesn’t mind having nightmares,” he says.

“Xiao Jiu…”

“But it’s not just nightmares, remember,” Mu Qingfang interrupts, smoothly. “If Xiao Jiu isn’t honest, then he could get even sicker. He could get badly hurt, or could stop being able to get out of bed, or could even die. You know?”

Qi-ge tightens his grip on Xiao Jiu’s hand. Qi-ge always hates talking about how someone might die, even when it’s obvious, like when Ba-jie died from getting kicked in the eye.

Xiao Jiu turns his wet eyes up to look at Qi-ge. “Qi-ge said it’s okay if I keep secrets.”

Qi-ge’s lips turn down. Xiao Jiu should’ve known he was lying.

“For little secrets, maybe,” Qi-ge says. He’s avoiding his lie. “But this is serious, Xiao Jiu. Mu-shidi was right when he said that you might die. Is it really so important that you keep this secret, that you’d risk your life?”

Xiao Jiu feels his face crumple. Qi-ge moves to comfort him– to give him a hug, probably– but Xiao Jiu pulls away, hiding his face behind his arms.

“I changed my mind,” he says, voice thin and shaky.

“About what, Xiao Jiu?” Mu Qingfang asks, voice gentle.

“I don’t– I don’t want Qi-ge in here. While we’re talking.”

There’s silence, for a moment, and then Qi-ge’s warmth pulls away from Xiao Jiu’s side.

“Okay, Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says, voice heavy. “I’ll be in my office, if you need me.”

The door opens, then closes.

Xiao Jiu is alone in the room with Mu Qingfang.

//

“Xiao Jiu can go slowly, if he wants,” Mu Qingfang offers. “You can go one sentence at a time. This Mu-gege will remember.”

Xiao Jiu sniffles. He doesn’t wanna tell Mu Qingfang anything, is the problem. He wants to pretend that nothing’s wrong, like he would do if he were back with normal Qi-ge.

“You’re not allowed to tell Qi-ge anything,” Xiao Jiu orders, voice unsteady. “Nothing.”

“Okay,” Mu Qingfang agrees. “Whatever Xiao Jiu tells Mu-gege will be a secret just between us two.”

Xiao Jiu frowns and pulls his knees up to his chest. “Nothing?”

“Nothing. Not even if you say your favorite color. Mu-gege won’t tell your Qi-ge anything.”

Xiao Jiu frowns harder and settles his forehead against his left knee. “I didn’t wanna.”

“Okay,” Mu Qingfang says. “You didn’t want to.”

Xiao Jiu sniffles, takes a deep breath. He feels icky, talking about it.

“It’s just. Qi-ge got sick, so I had to.”

“Alright,” Mu Qingfang agrees. “You had to, but you didn’t want to. You only did it because your Qi-ge fell ill.”

“Yeah,” Xiao Jiu mumbles. He wipes his eyes against his knees. “But nobody’d buy medicine for a slave. And begging takes too long. So Xiao Jiu had to get a lot of money really fast.”

“So, since your Qi-ge got sick, you had to do something you didn’t want to, so that you could get a lot of money quickly, in order to buy medicine for your Qi-ge. Is that right?”

Xiao Jiu nods miserably into his knees.

“And—” Xiao Jiu sniffles miserably. Mu-gege promised it was a secret from Qi-ge. “And the only way for– for a slave to get money fast, is. Is—” Xiao Jiu sniffles again. He’s not crying.

Mu Qingfang just waits.

“It’s to have sex,” Xiao Jiu confesses. He already feels dirty. “‘Cause slaves don’t– don’t have anything else to sell. And slaves can’t do anything right, anyways, so the only thing I could do is– is—”

Suddenly, everything is silent. It almost sounds like Mu-gege stopped breathing.

“Oh,” Mu Qingfang says. His voice is small and quiet. He takes a deep breath. “So. Xiao Jiu’s Qi-ge got sick. And Xiao Jiu had to get money so that he could buy medicine for Qi-ge. And the only way that Xiao Jiu could earn enough money quickly was to… sell his services to a stranger. Is that right?”

Rich people always do that, find a less awful way to describe something really actually awful. Selling his services sounds a lot better than having sex with old men for money.

Xiao Jiu nods into his knees.

“I see,” Mu Qingfang mumbles.

There’s more silence.

“Thank you,” Mu Qingfang eventually says, “for telling me. Xiao Jiu has been very brave.”

Xiao Jiu’s face crumples further. He’s not brave, he’s dirty, and he couldn’t even do that right.

“No, Xiao Jiu,” Mu-gege says, “I really mean it. I think it was really brave of you to do what you did to help your big brother, and it was brave of you to tell me, too. Especially since you only met me a few days ago. It was very brave for you to share with me. This Mu-gege is very proud of you.”

Xiao Jiu sniffles again. He peeks up from above his knees to make sure that Mu-gege isn’t lying and is startled to find the man kneeling right before Xiao Jiu.

“Hi,” Mu-gege says. He’s not smiling, exactly, but he doesn’t look angry, either. “I really am proud of you for telling me, Xiao Jiu.” He reaches into his pocket and fishes out a candy. “Would you like a candy?”

Xiao Jiu sniffles again, and nods. Mu-gege reaches out slowly and places the candy delicately in Xiao Jiu’s hand.

“You’ve done very well today, Xiao Jiu,” Mu-gege says. “Thank you very much for answering this Mu-gege’s questions.”

Xiao Jiu shoves the candy into his mouth, trying not to cry.

//

For the next two days, Qi-ge is walking on eggshells around Xiao Jiu, like he thinks Xiao Jiu will be afraid of him now. Even though Xiao Jiu’s the one who did something wrong, not Qi-ge. Qi-ge doesn’t do bad things like Xiao Jiu does.

“This Qi-ge,” Qi-ge starts to say, before abruptly stopping. “Xiao Jiu. This Qi-ge will never hate you, alright? No matter what happens.”

“Okay,” Xiao Jiu agrees. He’s trying to focus on learning to write the names of the peaks, right now. Mu-gege’s peak, Qian Cao, is even easier to write than Qi-ge’s Qiong Ding. He’s almost got it.

“No matter what,” Qi-ge repeats.

Every morning, Mu-gege gives Xiao Jiu a bowl full of medicine for him to drink. It’s bitter and smoky and Xiao Jiu hates hates hates it, but Mu-gege says it’ll help him get better and get over his nightmares. He gives Xiao Jiu a candy every time he finishes his medicine, too, which is okay.

Xiao Jiu doesn’t feel like he’s getting better, though.

Xiao Jiu keeps having nightmares.

He wakes up crying and screaming pretty much every night, drenched in a cold sweat. Every night, too, Qi-ge’s there when he wakes up, and he picks Xiao Jiu up and holds him for as long as he needs.

“You’re okay,” Qi-ge always says. “You’re gonna be just fine, Qi-ge’s here. Everything’s gonna be alright.”

He doesn’t sound as sure of himself as he usually does.

One night, Xiao Jiu doesn’t wake up from his nightmare.

//

“He’s not getting better,” the person holding him says. “You said he would get better. Did he not–?”

“He did,” someone else interrupted. “He told me. But I swore that I wouldn’t tell you anything he said.”

“Then, why isn’t he–?”

“If I had to guess, it’s because whatever’s troubling him is something to do with you. Just because he shared what was troubling him with me, doesn’t mean that he’s resolved his heart demons. His heart demon has to do with you, so if he doesn’t speak with you, then he won’t be able to fully recover. Even with the herbs that I’ve been brewing for him.”

The person carrying him clutches him tighter. “He won’t forgive me for this.”

“He won’t forgive either of us,” the other person says. “At least no one here was involved with his getting poisoned.”

“At least,” the person holding him says, voice cold and harsh. He whines at the cruel tone, and the person holding him rushes to reassure him, stroking his back and making hushing noises.

“It’ll be best if you try and speak with him by the day after tomorrow,” the other person says. “If you wait too long, then it’ll be too late.”

The person holding him strokes his back again.

“Okay,” he says. “Okay.”

There’s a brief spell of silence.

“If I may, Zhangmen-shixiong,” the other person says, “then I suggest that you steel yourself for what Xiao Jiu will tell you. Stay calm when you’re speaking with him. Try to go slowly.”

The person holding him breathes in deeply, like he might get angry.

“Okay,” he says, anyway. “Thank you, Mu-shidi. I appreciate it.”

“Of course, Zhangmen-shixiong. It’s…”

He drifts off again.

//

When Xiao Jiu wakes up, he’s in Qi-ge’s bed, again, and Qi-ge is kneeling on the floor next to his bed. He’s finally sleeping, now, and Xiao Jiu doesn’t move, just in case he wakes Qi-ge up. Xiao Jiu feels sticky and dizzy, like he had last time, so it’s not a huge sacrifice for him

Carefully, Xiao Jiu reaches out and pats Qi-ge on the head. Qi-ge is always the one who’s comforting Xiao Jiu, so Xiao Jiu can comfort Qi-ge just this once.

He strokes Qi-ge's hair twice– it’s really soft and not greasy at all, not like it usually is– before someone else comes into the room.

It’s just Mu-gege, is all, which isn’t the worst thing that could happen. He looks worried, but forces a smile when he meets Xiao Jiu’s eyes.

“Good morning, Xiao Jiu,” Mu-gege says. He pulls a new chair over next to Qi-ge and sits down. “How are you feeling?”

Xiao Jiu fists his hand in Qi-ge’s hair. “‘m okay.”

Actually, he feels really stiff, and his head hurts, and his throat is all dry, and he feels nauseous and dizzy, but it’s not the worst that he’s felt.

Mu-gege hmms. “Is Xiao Jiu hungry, at all? Or thirsty?”

Xiao Jiu shrugs.

“Alright,” Mu-gege says. “Is it okay if I feel your wrist? To make sure you’re doing alright?”

Xiao Jiu nods, holds out the arm that isn’t buried in Qi-ge’s hair. Mu Qingfang takes his wrist in his hand and holds it for several minutes. He frowns, like Xiao Jiu’s doing something wrong even though he’s not really doing anything.

“Alright,” Mu-gege eventually says, letting go of Xiao Jiu’s hand. “Thank you, Xiao Jiu. I’ll go and get you some food and water.” He pats Xiao Jiu twice on the head, stands up, and leaves.

Xiao Jiu just keeps playing with Qi-ge’s hair. Maybe he should wake Qi-ge up, so that he can have some food, too.

But Qi-ge looks tired. He’s always saying that it’s important to rest well. Maybe Xiao Jiu should let him sleep?

He doesn’t get a choice, though, since Qi-ge shifts a little bit and then blinks his eyes open, staring up at Xiao Jiu.

Then, he sits up so quickly that Xiao Jiu’s hand almost gets tangled up in his hair.

“Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says, a little desperately. He takes Xiao Jiu’s hands in his again, clutching them tightly. “Is– is Xiao Jiu feeling alright? Does your head hurt, at all?”

“No,” Xiao Jiu lies, even though Mu-gege probably could tell from that thing he did with Xiao Jiu’s wrist everything that’s wrong with Xiao Jiu.

“Good,” Qi-ge says, stroking one of Xiao Jiu’s hands. “That’s good. You really scared this Qi-ge, you’ve been unconscious for three days…”

Xiao Jiu stares. All he does here is sleep and eat, huh? If he stays too long, he’ll end up looking like some rich young master.

Qi-ge definitely looks rich, when Xiao Jiu really looks at him. If you didn’t know, you’d never guess that he used to be a slave. Even if you did know, it would be hard to guess. Qi-ge is really incredible like that.

“Sorry,” Xiao Jiu eventually says. “I didn’t mean to scare Qi-ge.”

Qi-ge fake-smiles. “Xiao Jiu doesn’t need to apologize. This Qi-ge was just worried about you. I’m very happy that Xiao Jiu is awake, now.”

“Mm-hm,” Xiao Jiu agrees. Qi-ge is way too nice. Xiao Jiu doubts anybody else would be happy for him to be awake.

“Have you talked with Mu-shidi yet? Did he tell you anything, or say anything that Xiao Jiu should do to get better?”

“I talked to him,” Xiao Jiu says. “But Mu-gege just touched my wrist for a little bit and then went to get food. He didn’t say anything special.”

Qi-ge hmms. “Well, it’s good that Mu-shidi is getting you food. Xiao Jiu must be hungry.”

Xiao Jiu shrugs. He’s not, really– he kinda feels like he’s gonna throw up– but he should eat food when he can.

“Xiao Jiu should try and eat something. It might make him feel better.”

Xiao Jiu shrugs again. He already knows that, but he doesn’t want to fight with Qi-ge, not today. If he plays with his food enough, maybe Qi-ge will think that he ate it.

There’s several long moments of silence. It’s not tense, or anything, but Xiao Jiu can tell that there’s something Qi-ge wants to say.

“Xiao Jiu,” he eventually says, “today… that is, this Qi-ge would like to talk to you about something today.”

Xiao Jiu stares at him. “Qi-ge and Xiao Jiu already talk about everything,” he points out.

Qi-ge swallows. “Something serious,” he corrects. “The thing that you and Mu-shidi discussed several days ago.”

Oh.

Qi-ge and Xiao Jiu don’t talk about that.

And clearly they never did, since Qi-ge still doesn’t know what happened even when he’s an adult and Xiao Jiu used to be an adult. That means that even once Xiao Jiu was all grown up, he never told Qi-ge.

It was supposed to be a secret from Qi-ge.

“Okay,” Xiao Jiu says, quietly.

He really doesn’t wanna talk about it, though.

Luckily, before Qi-ge can say anything else about it, Mu Qingfang comes back into the room, carrying a tray of food.

“Zhangmen-shixiong,” Mu Qingfang says. “Glad to see you’re awake.” He settles the tray of food– and the bowl full of medicine, too– on Xiao Jiu’s lap. “If it isn’t an inconvenience, I would request a private audience with you in the hallway.”

Lao Qi looks between Xiao Jiu and Mu Qingfang a moment before nodding.

“Alright,” he says. “Xiao Jiu, try to eat something, okay? Qi-ge will be right back.”

Xiao Jiu nods, keeping his gaze focused on the tray of food.

“And drink your medicine,” Mu Qingfang adds. He digs a piece of candy out of his pocket and sets it next to the cup of bitter medicine. “You can have this candy after you’re done.”

Xiao Jiu nods again, without looking up.

“Alright,” Mu Qingfang says. “Zhangmen-shixiong?”

Lao Qi finally stands up and leaves.

//

Xiao Jiu doesn’t have much of an appetite. He tears apart his youtiao, doesn’t even look at his congee, barely manages a sip of water. He swallows down all the medicine, at least, but it makes him gag and he almost throws up when he eats the candy Mu Qingfang gave him. He feels really, really icky.

It takes a long time before Lao Qi comes back. Xiao Jiu isn’t counting, or anything, but it feels like a really long time. And Xiao Jiu still hasn’t had anything to eat besides water and the medicine.

“Is Xiao Jiu not hungry?” Lao Qi asks.

Xiao Jiu shakes his head. It’s not just ‘cause he feels sick, either.

“Alright,” Qi-ge says. “Then, could Qi-ge take this tray and set it aside? Or would Xiao Jiu like to keep the tray.”

“Qi-ge can take it,” Xiao Jiu mumbles. He doesn’t really care. He drank the medicine and he ate the candy. He doesn’t care about the other stuff.

“Okay,” Qi-ge says. He lifts up the tray, looks around for a bit, and eventually just puts it down on top of the dresser next to the bed, before finally sitting down. “Xiao Jiu…”

Xiao Jiu refuses to say anything. He doesn’t want to make this easy on Lao Qi.

Lao Qi sighs.

“Xiao Jiu,” he says, again. “You don’t feel good today, right? Your body might feel a bit weak?”

Xiao Jiu shrugs. Really, he feels kinda awful, but he doesn’t want Lao Qi to know and feel guilty.

“Well,” Lao Qi continues, “remember when– uh, when your Mu-gege told you about what might happen if Xiao Jiu wasn’t completely honest? How you would get sick, and you probably wouldn’t get better?”

Xiao Jiu frowns, but nods.

He just doesn’t wanna talk about it. Not again.

“Well. It seems that Xiao Jiu doesn’t just need to be honest with… with your Mu-gege. He thinks that you might also have to talk to Qi-ge about what happened. Or else Xiao Jiu won’t get better.”

Xiao Jiu feels his face crumple.

“I don’t want to,” he whines, even though nobody likes whiny kids.

“…I know,” Qi-ge says. “I’m sorry that Xiao Jiu has to tell Qi-ge without wanting to, too. If Qi-ge could, he wouldn’t make Xiao Jiu do it.”

“Then why is Qi-ge making Xiao Jiu do it!” Xiao Jiu demands. “Xiao Jiu doesn’t mind feeling sick or having nightmares or not eating, ‘cause Xiao Jiu’s already like that! Why is Qi-ge making Xiao Jiu do this!”

“Shh, Xiao Jiu,” Lao Qi says. “Shh, it’s alright. Xiao Jiu is okay, you understand? Qi-ge just wants Xiao Jiu to feel better, okay? It makes Qi-ge’s heart hurt when he sees Xiao Jiu hurt. Does Xiao Jiu know how that feels?”

Of course Xiao Jiu does, that’s what happened to Xiao Jiu that got him into this mess. Why do people always act like Xiao Jiu doesn’t care about anything? Just ‘cause Xiao Jiu is a slave, doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about anything. Xiao Jiu hates it when Qi-ge gets hurt.

“Uh-huh,” Xiao Jiu mumbles, instead. Nobody likes kids who talk too much.

“So Qi-ge wants to make Xiao Jiu feel better,” Lao Qi continues. “So Qi-ge just wants Xiao Jiu to tell him what happened, okay?”

Xiao Jiu’s face feels hot, all of a sudden, and he’s pretty sure he’s crying.

“It’s a s-secret from Qi-ge,” Xiao Jiu says, through tears. “Qi-ge’s not allowed t’ know.” If he tells Qi-ge, then Qi-ge will know, and Qi-ge will hate Xiao Jiu and feel bad that Xiao Jiu had to do what he did.

“Why not?” Qi-ge asks, sounding desperate. “Qi-ge cares about Xiao Jiu. Qi-ge just wants to know what happened to Xiao Jiu. That way Qi-ge can keep you safe.”

Xiao Jiu sniffles. “I don’t wanna tell Qi-ge. If Xiao Jiu tells Qi-ge, then Qi-ge will feel bad.”

“No I won’t,” Qi-ge says. “I promise, Xiao Jiu, no matter what you tell me, this Qi-ge won’t feel bad.”

Xiao Jiu chokes out a sob. Why not! Shouldn’t Qi-ge feel bad, if Xiao Jiu tells him? Wasn’t it a horrible thing that happened?

“That is,” Lao Qi says, hurrying to correct himself, “Qi-ge will feel badly for what happened to Xiao Jiu. But Qi-ge won’t be angry or sad just for Xiao Jiu telling him. Qi-ge promises.”

Xiao Jiu breathes in. His breathing is all shaky and his breathing tastes strained and sour, a little bit. He really doesn’t want to do this.

“I don’t wanna,” Xiao Jiu begs.

“Why not, Xiao Jiu? What’s so important that Xiao Jiu won’t even tell Qi-ge what happened? I just want to help you! Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because it’s Qi-ge’s fault in the first place!” Xiao Jiu yells, finally looking up from his lap to glare at Lao Qi. His face is as red as Xiao Jiu’s feels, and even his eyes are rimmed with red and all shiny like he’s about to start crying, too. “It’s Qi-ge’s fault that it happened and Xiao Jiu didn’t wanna say anything ‘cause it would make Qi-ge sad and Xiao Jiu hates you!”

That’s a lie, it’s obviously a lie, the person that Xiao Jiu cares about most in the whole world is Qi-ge, he wouldn’t have done what he did for Ba-jie or Lu San or even for Si-jie, who had once pulled Xiao Jiu out of a freezing river. Xiao Jiu likes Qi-ge best out of everybody in the whole world, but he doesn’t like that Qi-ge is trying to make him talk about this. And it’s not even Qi-ge’s fault, either! It’s Xiao Jiu’s fault for catching the fish and cooking the fish and then needing to run back to the city in the cold rain, which is what got Qi-ge sick in the first place, and then Qi-ge was the one who got sick instead of Xiao Jiu, even though Xiao Jiu’s the one who always gets sick, so Xiao Jiu had to get medicine for Qi-ge. It’s Xiao Jiu’s own fault, just like always. Xiao Jiu really really shouldn’t have yelled at Qi-ge for that, since it was his own fault in the first place.

And Qi-ge is crying, now, crying for real. Qi-ge never cries, never ever ever, Xiao Jiu really is rotten for making Qi-ge cry, especially when Qi-ge is the only person in the world that Xiao Jiu actually cares about.

“This Qi-ge is truly sorry,” Qi-ge says, even though he’s still crying, even though he’s a big grown-up cultivator. “Whatever Qi-ge did– whatever I did that hurt Xiao Jiu, that made Xiao Jiu get hurt, I’m truly sorry. Qi-ge never wants to do anything that could hurt Xiao Jiu, does Xiao Jiu understand? Qi-ge really is sorry for letting Xiao Jiu get hurt. This Qi-ge can’t forgive himself, if he did something that got Xiao Jiu hurt.”

Xiao Jiu– who’s crying right along with Qi-ge– whines loudly. “This is– this is why Xiao Jiu didn’t wanna tell Qi-ge! Xiao Jiu doesn’t want Qi-ge to not forgive himself! It’s not Qi-ge’s fault, not at all! It’s Xiao Jiu’s fault! Don’t say you won’t forgive yourself for something that’s Xiao Jiu’s fault!”

“If Xiao Jiu says it’s because of Qi-ge, then it’s because of Qi-ge. And this Qi-ge– this Qi-ge is sincerely sorry. This Qi-ge didn’t mean to hurt Xiao Jiu at all.”

“Xiao Jiu said it’s Xiao Jiu’s fault! Qi-ge doesn’t have anything to do with it! I hate you! I hate you!”

“Qi-ge is sorry—”

“Stop saying that!”

“I’m sorry.”

Xiao Jiu shrieks, and hits Qi-ge right in the chest once, then twice. “Stop saying you’re sorry! I hate you!” He needs to stop talking, needs to stop saying that he hates Qi-ge and needs to stop hitting him ‘cause Xiao Jiu doesn’t wanna be rotten, he doesn’t wanna prove Qi-ge wrong, but he’s so mad and he’s still tired and he wants everything to go back to normal and he doesn’t wanna tell Qi-ge what happened! It’s a secret from Qi-ge, that’s why he never ever said anything!

“Xiao Jiu, really, I’m very sorry…”

“Shut up! Stop it, stop it, stop it! Xiao Jiu hates you! Go away! Stop talking to me!”

“…Xiao Jiu wants Qi-ge to leave?”

“Yeah! Get out of here! Leave me alone! I don’t ever wanna talk to you again! I hate you!”

Xiao Jiu can’t hardly breathe from how hard he’s crying, and he can barely see through the tears in his eyes.

But he sees Qi-ge stand up and leave.

Xiao Jiu stares at the door that Qi-ge just went through, his shoulders heaving with the effort of breathing through his tears.

He really is rotten. He’s just a rotten little slave, rotted all the way down to his bones.

He buries his head in his hands.

He wants Qi-ge back again.

//

Xiao Jiu is hiding under the bed when someone comes into the room.

“…Xiao Jiu?”

Oh. It’s Mu-gege.

Xiao Jiu won’t say anything. Qi-ge already knows that Xiao Jiu is rotten, he doesn’t want Mu-gege to know, too.

“Xiao Jiu? Are you still in here?”

Xiao Jiu doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t want anybody else to know about what Xiao Jiu did wrong.

But then Mu-gege gets down on all fours and peeks under the bed, and Xiao Jiu is trapped.

“Xiao Jiu? What’s wrong, why are you under the bed?”

Xiao Jiu sniffles and tucks himself further under the bed.

“…I heard that your talk with your Qi-ge didn’t go well.”

Xiao Jiu sniffles again and tries to glare at Mu-gege, but he’s too tired and too sad for it to work.

“Would Xiao Jiu like to talk about what happened?”

Xiao Jiu shakes his head back and forth desperately. He doesn’t want Mu-gege to know how awful he was to Qi-ge.

“No? What would Xiao Jiu like to talk about, then? This Mu-gege doesn’t mind, you can choose anything.”

“Xiao Jiu doesn’t wanna talk,” Xiao Jiu mumbles. “Talking never helps anything.”

“It might, if Xiao Jiu keeps trying. Would you like to give it another try?”

Xiao Jiu sniffles. “No.”

Mu-gege hmms. “Then, what if Mu-gege talks, and Xiao Jiu just listens? Would that be okay?”

Xiao Jiu shrugs. It’s a little awkward, since he’s on his side, but it works. “I guess.”

Mu-gege smiles. “Okay,” he says. He adjusts himself so that he’s lying on his side, too. “Xiao Jiu, you know you aren’t in trouble, right?”

Xiao Jiu scowls. “I should be.”

“I thought Xiao Jiu didn’t want to talk?” Mu-gege asks, blinking too-innocently.

Xiao Jiu scowls harder, puffing out his cheeks.

“Why does Xiao Jiu think he should be in trouble?” Mu-gege continues.

Xiao Jiu sniffles. “‘Cause I yelled at Qi-ge. And I hit him. And I said I hate him, and I said” —he drops his voice to a whisper— “I said it was his fault.”

Mu-gege blinks at Xiao Jiu, brow furrowed.

“Ah,” he finally says. “That sounds like a terrible thing to say.”

Xiao Jiu nods frantically. “Xiao Jiu is rotten.”

“Not rotten,” Mu-gege corrects. “Saying mean things doesn’t make Xiao Jiu rotten. But it really isn’t very nice. Would Xiao Jiu like to apologize?”

Xiao Jiu sniffles. “Qi-ge won’t ever wanna see Xiao Jiu ever again. I said I hate him and I told him to go away and I told him I never wanted to talk to him again. Even if Xiao Jiu wanted to, Qi-ge wouldn’t accept his apology. Qi-ge prob’ly hates Xiao Jiu by now.”

Mu-gege considers for a moment.

“I don’t think your Qi-ge hates you,” Mu-gege eventually says. “I don’t think he would ever hate you. Xiao Jiu is very important to Zhangmen-shixiong. As long as Xiao Jiu apologizes completely sincerely, then I’m sure Zhangmen-shixiong will accept your apology.”

“He shouldn’t.” Xiao Jiu says. “Qi-ge should hate Xiao Jiu for what he said. If Qi-ge had said the same things to Xiao Jiu, then Xiao Jiu would hate him.”

Mu-gege just blinks at him. “Would you?”

Xiao Jiu frowns, then stares at the floor out of the corner of his eye. “Not if he was right. Like, if it really was Xiao Jiu’s fault.”

Mu-gege hmms. “What if Xiao Jiu just thinks it’s his fault? But it really isn’t?”

Xiao Jiu frowns. Mu-gege always asks really difficult questions.

Xiao Jiu starts thinking. If it’s not for real his fault, then does it still count? But if Xiao Jiu thinks it’s his fault, then he wouldn’t hate Qi-ge for saying mean stuff.

“I– I guess that’s okay,” Xiao Jiu said. “I wouldn’t get mad, or anything. But– but Qi-ge wouldn’t say that! Qi-ge would know that it wasn’t Xiao Jiu’s fault.”

“Maybe Qi-ge just got mad. And he said it because he was mad, not because he thought it was true for real. Would it make sense for Qi-ge to yell, then?”

Xiao Jiu shakes his head. “Qi-ge never yells at Xiao Jiu. Even when he gets really, really mad. Qi-ge’s nicer than everybody.”

Mu-gege’s lips twitch in a smile. “I guess he is, huh. But what if he did yell? He’d apologize later, but if he yelled at you in the first place. What do you think? Would you hate him?”

Xiao Jiu frowns, but shakes his head. “Xiao Jiu wouldn’t hate Qi-ge. As long as Qi-ge said he was sorry!”

Mu-gege hmms again. “Really? So like what happened with Xiao Jiu and Qi-ge earlier?”

Xiao Jiu frowns harder. “No, it’s not. ‘Cause Qi-ge’s been nice for ages, but Xiao Jiu’s never nice. So it’s okay to be mean to Xiao Jiu, but it’s not okay to be mean to Qi-ge.”

“It’s not okay to be mean to Xiao Jiu, either,” Mu-gege corrects. “But if you would forgive your Qi-ge, as long as he said he was sorry, then why wouldn’t Qi-ge forgive Xiao Jiu? Since he’s so nice?”

Xiao Jiu turns his head away from Mu-gege. He’s right, again. Mu-gege is really good at arguing.

“…Is Xiao Jiu scared that his Qi-ge won’t forgive him?”

“‘m not scared of anything,” Xiao Jiu denies, quietly. But if Qi-ge doesn’t forgive him, what is he going to do? He can’t just follow Si-jie around, she doesn’t share food like Qi-ge does. And Lu San is in the army now, and Zhang Wu got bought by a family in Guanxi, and Hua-jie is in the brothel, and Ba-jie died last winter, and none of the little kids are reliable like Qi-ge is. Not to mention, they don’t even like Xiao Jiu. If Qi-ge doesn’t forgive Xiao Jiu, then Xiao Jiu will probably die, and nobody will even be sad about it. Who cares if some miserable little slave dies? Nobody, that’s who.

“Then,” Mu Qingfang says, “is Xiao Jiu anxious, or concerned about it? Not frightened, of course, just… invested.”

Xiao Jiu sniffles again, but eventually nods. “But not scared,” he reminds.

“Of course not,” Mu Qingfang agrees. “From what I’ve seen, you’re a very brave young man. It’s normal to be worried about things like this, though. This Mu-gege would be worried, too.”

Finally, Xiao Jiu turns his head back to face Mu Qingfang, who looks as calm as ever. “Why can’t you tell him,” he whines, even though nobody likes a whiny kid. “I already told you what happened. Can’t you just tell Lao Qi?”

Mu Qingfang grimaces. “I’m sorry,” he says. “The effects of the flower require Xiao Jiu to overcome his own heart demons. If this Mu-shidi revealed things for you, then Xiao Jiu might not be able to recover.”

Xiao Jiu scowls at him, but it’s not Mu-gege that he’s mad at. He’s just mad that he has to do this.

“So– Xiao Jiu has to tell Qi-ge what happened himself? Or else Xiao Jiu will die?”

“…That’s what it seems like,” Mu Qingfang said. “This one is truly sorry that this happened to Xiao Jiu.”

Xiao Jiu sniffles. “Okay,” he says. “I guess.”

Mu Qingfang fake-smiles. “Alright. Would Xiao Jiu like Mu-gege to go and fetch Qi-ge right now?”

Xiao Jiu shakes his head. “Not right now. In a little bit.”

Mu Qingfang nods. “Alright. This Mu-gege will send your Qi-ge back here in an hour.” Mu Qingfang hesitates for a moment. “Do you want this Mu-gege to come with him? Would you like someone else in the room with you while you speak to your Qi-ge?”

Xiao Jiu considers, but shakes his head. Mu-gege already knows what happened to him, Xiao Jiu doesn’t want to have to see him listen to it again.

“Alright,” Mu-gege says. “Then, your Qi-ge will come back in an hour, alright?”

Xiao Jiu nods, but turns his head back to face up at the mattress.

Just out of the corner of his eye, he can see Mu-gege get to his hands and knees before finally standing up and brushing himself off.

“Then, I’ll see you later,” Mu Qingfang says.

Xiao Jiu doesn’t answer.

Finally, Mu Qingfang leaves.

//

By the time Qi-ge is back, Xiao Jiu is back in the bed.

He’s rearranged the pillows, so now there’s kind of a barrier between him and anyone who wants to sit next to the bed. It’s stupid, since Qi-ge is already a grown-up cultivator, but it makes Xiao Jiu feel better.

When Qi-ge comes in, his eyes are all red again, and his face looks kinda wet.

“Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says. “Are you– this Qi-ge is sorry for our talk earlier going poorly. Is Xiao Jiu feeling better?”

Xiao Jiu shrugs, then nods.

“I guess,” he mumbles. “And– and Xiao Jiu is sorry, too. For yelling at Qi-ge, and for telling him it was his fault and that Xiao Jiu never wanted to see him again, and hitting him. And Xiao Jiu is sorry for all the times he’s yelled at Qi-ge, and sorry for when I bit you, and s-sorry for breaking those cups, and sorry for lying.”

Xiao Jiu’s voice is trembling by the time he finishes listing out all his apologies. He doesn’t wanna look at Qi-ge, just in case Qi-ge is angry, or worse, crying.

But Qi-ge doesn’t say anything, and Xiao Jiu has to be sure

“…Does Qi-ge forgive Xiao Jiu?” he asks, voice quiet. If Qi-ge doesn’t, then Xiao Jiu doesn’t have to say anything, ‘cause it’s not like Qi-ge would want Xiao Jiu around anyway. But if he does—

“Of course I do,” Qi-ge says, voice thick. “This Qi-ge will always forgive Xiao Jiu for everything. Xiao Jiu can’t do anything unforgivable to Qi-ge.”

Xiao Jiu pulls at the blanket. “Qi-ge should be stricter with Xiao Jiu. Otherwise Xiao Jiu will be mean forever.”

“Qi-ge doesn’t mind forgiving Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says. “Xiao Jiu is Qi-ge’s most important person. Qi-ge will always forgive you.”

Xiao Jiu frowns. “So… Xiao Jiu isn’t in trouble? Qi-ge won’t punish me?”

“No,” Qi-ge says.

“…Promise?”

“Yes, Xiao Jiu, Qi-ge promises. Xiao Jiu won’t be punished for anything he’s done since he arrived.”

Xiao Jiu sniffles. He doesn’t look up from his lap.

“But we do still have to talk. Xiao Jiu can go as slowly as he likes, this Qi-ge will be patient and listen.”

Xiao Jiu doesn’t say anything.

“No matter how long Xiao Jiu takes. Okay? This Qi-ge will wait.”

“Does– does Qi-ge promise not to cry? Or to get mad?”

“Qi-ge will never be angry at Xiao Jiu, okay? Never ever.”

“Qi-ge can’t get angry during the story, either. About any of the s-stuff that happened.”

Qi-ge hesitates for a long time.

“Okay,” he finally says. “Qi-ge won’t get angry at anything that happens during the story, either.”

Xiao Jiu takes a deep breath and starts telling the story.

//

See, nobody will give a slave medicine for free. And the slavemaster won’t give medicine, either, even though slaves are an investment, and if somebody dies, then they have one less slave to sell.

But Qi-ge’s sick. It was Xiao Jiu’s stupid fault, too, for getting Qi-ge all cold and wet. ‘Cause if Xiao Jiu had actually done his work, instead of slacking off, then they woulda got back to town before it started raining.

The fish wasn’t even that good.

Usually Xiao Jiu’s the one who gets sick from stuff like that. Qi-ge’s really good at not getting sick.

But Qi-ge has a really bad fever, and he’s lying on the ground of the alley, sweating and crying. He can’t even barely talk anymore, with how scratchy his throat is. He won’t eat anything, either, even though Xiao Jiu had gotten pretty much every kind of food he could find. Qi-ge hadn’t even tried to eat the tanghulu that Xiao Jiu had gotten.

He wouldn’t even drink water.

Medicine is expensive, Xiao Jiu knows. The madam at the brothel that Liu-jie– Hua-jie, Xiao Jiu has to remember– always sends two people to pay the apothecarist, so that nobody thinks about scamming her, since she has to send so much money to pay him. Xiao Jiu only has two copper coins, but he knows that’s not enough to buy Qi-ge’s medicine.

The only way he knows how to make money is begging, but without Qi-ge, he won’t have enough money in time to get him better.

The only other thing Xiao Jiu could do was what Liu-jie–Hua-jie– did.

He didn’t actually go to the brothel. That’s the rules– once a kid gets off the streets, you gotta pretend like you don’t know them. Like they weren’t never slaves in the first place. ‘Cause if people knew that they used to be slaves, then they might get hurt.

But there were girls who weren’t even in brothels who still had sex with people for money. They usually had men to help them, though, and to keep the girls safe from any bad men who wanted to have sex with them, and to make sure that they got money from the men they had sex with.

Xiao Jiu didn’t have anybody with him.

But he knew where the girls went, and he knew that there were lots of men who liked the girls to be really young. Young enough that they hadn’t even grown any hair down there, yet.

So. Even though Xiao Jiu was a boy, he should be able to find at least one person.

…Right?

Xiao Jiu thought he would throw up, the whole time he was doing it. From when he was just standing there next to the other girls, who had finished ruffling his hair and calling him cute right after he told them what he was there for, all the way to when the man had actually put his hand on Xiao Jiu’s shoulder and taken him to the inn where he was staying, to when he had told Xiao Jiu to take his clothes off—

Xiao Jiu hadn’t been able to leave food for Qi-ge before he’d left. Or anything to drink, even.

If Xiao Jiu didn’t come back, was Qi-ge going to die?

The man keeps touching him.

//

At least, Qi-ge doesn’t cry.

Xiao Jiu does, but he knows Qi-ge won’t make fun of him for it. Qi-ge never makes fun of Xiao Jiu for crying, ‘cause he’s a good person. Qi-ge doesn’t get angry, either, not for any part of the story, even when Xiao Jiu’s talking about the guy. He doesn’t even clench his fists or tell Xiao Jiu excuse this Qi-ge for just a minute and leave the room to calm down.

Maybe he knows that if he does, Xiao Jiu won’t be able to finish telling the story.

“Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says, sounding choked.

At least he isn’t crying.

“This Qi-ge is very, very sorry that this happened to you.”

Xiao Jiu shrugs. “It was– it was Xiao Jiu’s own f-fault. ‘Cause if I hadn’t made us come back to town late, then Qi-ge wouldn’ta– wouldn’ta got sick.”

“No,” Qi-ge says. “No, it’s not Xiao Jiu’s fault at all. It’s that bad man’s fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Xiao Jiu keeps staring at his lap.

“Qi-ge said that Xiao Jiu is actually supposed to be a grown-up, right? So Qi-ge and Xiao Jiu already grew up, right?”

“…Ah, yes. What was Xiao Jiu wondering about?”

Xiao Jiu worries at his lip.

“So– Xiao Jiu got Qi-ge’s medicine, right? And Qi-ge got all better?”

Qi-ge goes quiet again.

“Yeah,” he finally says. “Xiao Jiu brought me my medicine. And Qi-ge got better right away. Xiao Jiu saved Qi-ge’s life.”

“…Promise?”

“Qi-ge wouldn’t lie to Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge says.

Finally, Xiao Jiu looks up at Qi-ge. His eyes are red, still, and he looks like he might start crying, but he hasn’t yet.

“Qi-ge– Qi-ge doesn’t hate Xiao Jiu? For what he did?”

“No. Qi-ge could never, ever, ever hate Xiao Jiu. Especially not when Xiao Jiu did what he did to help Qi-ge. Xiao Jiu saved Qi-ge’s life, how could Qi-ge hate Xiao Jiu for that?”

Xiao Jiu’s lip trembles, and he can feel tears welling up in his eyes.

“Qi-ge d-doesn’t think Xiao Jiu is d-dirty? Qi-ge still loves Xiao Jiu?”

“Qi-ge could never think Xiao Jiu is dirty. And Qi-ge will always love Xiao Jiu, no matter what happens, do you understand? Qi-ge loves Xiao Jiu more than anyone else in the whole wide world.”

Xiao Jiu starts crying.

“Xiao Jiu?”

“Qi-ge, hug,” Xiao Jiu demands, just a moment before he tackles Qi-ge, wrapping his arms around Qi-ge’s shoulders and burying his face in Qi-ge’s neck.

Qi-ge holds his hand stiffly for a second– not hugging Xiao Jiu, like he was lying about not thinking that Xiao Jiu is dirty– before he finally, carefully, rests his hands on Xiao Jiu’s back and squeezes him to his chest.

“You’re okay, Xiao Jiu,” Qi-ge murmurs. “Everything’s alright now. This Qi-ge will take care of you. I’ve got you. No one’s going to hurt Xiao Jiu ever, ever again. I promise.”

Xiao Jiu squeezes Qi-ge back tighter. “No lying,” he mumbles, his voice still wobbling from crying. “‘Cause– ‘cause if Qi-ge is lying to me, then he has to get his arms cut off. Right?”

Qi-ge squeezes Xiao Jiu even tighter. “Right,” he says. “Except for Qi-ge isn’t lying to Xiao Jiu. Qi-ge would never lie to Xiao Jiu.”

Xiao Jiu sniffles, and rubs his eyes dry into Qi-ge’s shoulder. “Either way.”

//

Xiao Jiu doesn’t feel good. He feels sick, actually, like he might throw up. He’s really hot, too, and it’s kinda hard to breathe. He’s all sore, too.

“Xiao Jiu,” somebody says, but only Qi-ge calls him Xiao Jiu, but the guy talking isn’t Qi-ge. Xiao Jiu doesn’t like it when people call him Xiao Jiu. But if they don’t call him Xiao Jiu, what would they call him?

“Xiao Jiu,” the person says again. “There’s medicine here, it’s important for Xiao Jiu to take it.”

This whole stupid thing (what thing?) started with medicine. Xiao Jiu hates medicine, Xiao Jiu only likes Qi-ge. Qi-ge’s the one who needs medicine, not Xiao Jiu. He hates this, he wants to be back with Qi-ge, but Qi-ge’s sick, and he’s not even Qi-ge anymore, he’s too big.

There’s a bowl pressed up against Xiao Jiu’s lips. The liquid inside is tart and bitter and Xiao Jiu hates it, there’s not even a little bit of sugar.

“Drink up,” the person says. “Once Xiao Jiu is done with the medicine, he can have a piece of candy.”

Xiao Jiu doesn’t want candy. It hurts to swallow, why would he want any candy. Even if he never does get to eat some, he doesn’t want any right now. He wants to be with Qi-ge. Qi-ge hasn’t been eating lately, ‘cause he’s sick. He wants to go back to Qi-ge.

“Come on, just one dose,” the person says, again. “One dose, and you’ll be back to normal. You can do it, Xiao Jiu.”

He can, he just doesn’t want to.

But the medicine is already in his mouth, and it’s already going down his throat, he can’t just not swallow it.

It hurts to swallow, really, really bad, but the medicine goes down his throat, at least. He wants Zhangmen-shixiong to be here with him right now.

“Good boy.”

Shen Qingqiu hates when people call him that.

//

Mu-shidi insists on holding Shen Qingqiu on Qian Cao for an entire day, after he recovers from the unfortunate incident. He claims that it’s to monitor for any qi deviations, but Shen Qingqiu isn’t an idiot.

All told, Shen Qingqiu should be commended for his incredible patience. He suffers Mu Qingfang’s condescension for a full twenty-four hours before he returns to Qing Jing peak on Xiu Ya, which he’s finally secured from Qian Cao.

Qing Jing, at least, is comfortingly familiar. None of his disciples met him when he was a child, and they don’t treat him like an idiot, which is good for them. Otherwise, he might just kill the little brats.

Someone’s been in the bamboo cottage. It was obviously Shen Qingqiu himself, while he was afflicted, but it seems that idiot Yue Qingyuan didn’t bother cleaning up after his stupid mess. There’s still a thin blanket beneath Shen Qingqiu’s desk, and the bed is completely unmade.

If anyone had entered the bamboo cottage while Shen Qingqiu was away, then they’d have thought him a fool.

He arranges his bed first, then sets to organizing his desk. It seems that he didn’t miss as much as he’d thought he would, since the piles of paperwork are rather more slender than Shen Qingqiu expects.

Shen Qingqiu drums his fingers on his desk. He does not appreciate having his work taken from him.

Now what is he supposed to do?

There’s a knock at his front door.

How fortuitous.

Except, when Shen Qingqiu opens the door, it’s Yue Qingyuan standing there.

“Zhangmen-shixiong,” Shen Qingqiu says, voice icy. “What.”

Yue Qingyuan flinches minutely.

Good. Shen Qingqiu has already offered up all his detestable secrets to Yue Qingyuan and Mu Qingfang. His soul has been bared. He doesn’t have anything else to say to Zhangmen-shixiong.

“Xiao—”

“No.”

Yue Qingyuan flinches again.

“Shen-shidi,” he corrects miserably. He takes a deep breath. “This shixiong was hoping to… speak with you.”

“About what,” Shen Qingqiu says. “This shidi has already spoken to Zhangmen-shixiong more than enough in the past ten days.”

Finally, Yue Qingyuan steels himself and stops flinching.

“This shixiong was hoping to speak to Shen-shidi about something that happened to him. Not about Shen-shidi’s circumstances.”

Shen Qingqiu raises an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

Yue Qingyuan nods firmly. “It seems only fair that after what Shen-shidi went through– after he was forced to share what he did– that this Yue-shixiong share something that he had never wanted to.”

Shen Qingqiu scoffs. “Like what? What sordid secrets does the virtuous Zhangmen-shixiong have that this Shen-shidi doesn’t already know? Surely Zhangmen-shixiong doesn’t plan on telling this Shen-shidi that he used to be a slave.”

“No,” Zhangmen-shixiong says, firmer than he ever is. “That isn’t at all what Yue-shixiong was planning on speaking about.” He takes a deep breath. “I was. I was hoping to speak to Xiao Jiu about why I never managed to get back to the Qiu mansion in time.”

Shen Qingqiu stares.

“Since Shen-shidi didn’t have a choice in sharing his secrets, this shixiong thought it would only be fair to share his secrets, as well,” Yue Qingyuan adds, babbling. “That is, uh, if Shen-shidi has the time. Or—”

“What, are you certain this won’t devolve into useless apologies, again?” Shen Qingqiu demands. “That’s how it always seems to happen.”

“Uh– no. No, this Yue-shixiong promises. This shixiong will explain everything completely. No useless apologies.”

Shen Qingqiu scoffs. “I’ll believe that when I hear it,” he says. He steps away from the door.

“Shen-shidi?”

“Well? Isn’t Zhangmen-shixiong going to follow his promises? Or is he truly such an unreliable sect leader.”

Something between a smile and a flinch tugs at Yue Qingyuan’s face.

He finally steps inside Shen Qingqiu’s home.