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It's A Simple Question, Really.

Summary:

Kazuya asks Jyuji a simple question. It is the dumbest fucking thing he's ever heard.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Jyuji Nagoya was sitting in his room at his desk.

The magistrate of the Thirteenth Ward- Yoshihara no Kazuya- had been so courteous that he'd offered him a room to stay in. After, y'know, encouraging him to break out of jail and flee Raoji. You know how it is, being a criminal on the chopping block and everything.

Right then, he was working on writing a journal for himself. A recount of the day. It was a way to spend alone time, reflect on himself, and keep important things to remember later.

 

The door opened without even a knock. Kazuya, of course, strolled in as he usually did, coming and going as he pleased, like a cat who figured out how to work a doorknob.

Jyuji immediately tensed a little, preparing himself for having to deal with his presence.

 

"Jyuji~," Kazuya called, before leaning over his desk. He leaned his elbows on it and cupped his own chin in his hands. "Can we have some girl talk? "

Jyuji paused, blinked a couple of times, then returned to writing. "We can talk, if that's what you want. Neither of us are girls, so we can’t have girl talk.

"Well, you know, not literal girl talk," Kazuya nonchalantly waved his hand as he spoke. "Girl talk in spirit. Girl talk transcends gender, really.”

Jyuji sighed. "What, you want to gossip with me?"

 

Kazuya had done that many times before, talking about any perceived ~drama~. It was all very boring, and Jyuji most often couldn't even force himself to pay attention to it. You probably couldn’t pay him to care.

 

"No, that's not it. Girl talk, " Kazuya repeated again. Jyuji sighed.

Kazuya smelled of wine and flowers, a sweet scent typical of him that Jyuji could only even smell because he was so close. But he didn't smell any more of alcohol than he normally did, so either he was just constantly slightly tipsy, or he was just an idiot even when sober. Jyuji considered both of these to be equally possible.

 

"Alright. Go ahead. " His voice was tense, and it was clear he didn’t really want to hear it.

 

Kazuya cleared his throat, then sat on Jyuji's desk. Jyuji sat up straighter in his seat, then backed his chair up a little, just so they weren't in each others' faces so much. He looked up at Kazuya as he spoke, still glaring daggers like he usually did. It was always unclear if he was actually pissed off, or if he just looked like that.

 

"Would you still like me if I was a worm?"

 

Jyuji blinked again. "What."

Kazuya sort of gestured around him and raised his eyebrows, as if this was a normal question to ask. "You know~! If I was a worm!"

"If you were a worm,” the dingo echoed.

"Yes!" Kazuya nodded. "Would you still like me if I were a worm? Would you take care of me if you found me on the sidewalk? Make a little habitat for me, maybe, providing to me all my wormly little wants and needs?”

 

Jyuji pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are you really… I… a worm. "

"Yes, a worm, I've said it several times~," the snake closed his eyes, shrugging and crossing his legs. He was smiling, but his tone was difficult to parse- like, did he genuinely want to know? Was Jyuji going to get punished or something if he refused to answer?

 

"No," Jyuji finally answered, plain and honest. "I don't really… consider worms I find on the sidewalk. Now, can I…" He sat forward again, and tried to motion for Kazuya to move so he could continue writing.

Kazuya frowned. "Really? You wouldn't care for me at all?"

"You would be a worm. I don't care about worms. Simple as that."

Kazuya uncrossed his legs, scooted off of the desk, and stood, before dramatically pouting. "Does that mean you only love me for my looks and status? "

Jyuji quickly turned in his chair. " Love? What the fuck're you--"

"Language~!"

He narrowed his eyes a little. "...what the hell are you talking about?"

Kazuya pursed his lips and looked off into the distance, tapping his chin as if he was thinking something over. He looked back to Jyuji again with a smug smile. “Not quite as family-friendly as I’d like to hear from you~,” he hummed.

Jyuji pinched the bridge of his nose again, openly grunting with frustration this time. “...what. The heck. Are you talking about, Kazuya ?” The name was spoken with a tone of acid to it.

 

Kazuya leaned his hip against Jyuji’s desk. He started to look at his nails, possibly contemplating if he wanted them painted or not. “Well, you know. If I was a worm, all that’d be left is my personality (even if I’d be a very handsome worm), so… does that mean you don’t like me for my personality?”

Jyuji sputtered a little, just completely fucking baffled at this point. “I don’t like worms ,” he said, gesturing wildly with his hands. Well, not exactly wildly, but as exasperated as he tended to get with people. “This is a stupid question, why are you even fucking asking me this?!”

 

Kazuya pursed his lips into a pout again, giving puppydog eyes. After a moment, the expression wavered, before he couldn’t handle it any longer, and burst into laughter. “Ahahaha! Did you think I was serious?!”

“I don’t know. You are the type to ask idiotic goddamn questions like that,” the dingo man, seated at the desk and hands itching to continue writing now, answered.

Kazuya gently bapped Jyuji’s shoulder with the back of his hand. “Aww, so mean~,” he grinned smugly. Despite snake scales lining his body- most visibly his neck and jaw- he was most comparable to a cat, rather than a snake, even if he still shared traits with the reptile sometimes. “You didn’t deny the part that you like me, though~. I’m positive you enjoy my presence, even if you just act a little shy.”

 

Jyuji grunted again, as Kazuya let out another slow and haughty laugh and exited the room. The door gently swung closed behind him, shutting with a low click , and as it did, the room suddenly felt so much quieter. Well, partially because it was totally silent with the snake man gone now. But also partially because he really carried so much presence with him. Especially when he was bored and looking for something to do- or someone to bother.

 

With that, Jyuji gave another resigned sigh, now able to continue his writing in peace. This time, if he wanted to faithfully recount his day, he had to add the part where he and Yoshihara no Kazuya bickered about worms.

Notes:

good evening. thoughts on worms?
anyway HI i couldnt stop thinking about kazuya asking jyuji if he'd still like him if he were a worm, so here we are. you didnt hear it from me but theyre at least a little homosexual even if theyve been onscreen together for like idk 10 minutes. this is how it is when you are me
i hope this was at least somewhat enjoyable??????? it was fun for me to write, at least! alright thats all i have to say. goodbye