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The Lawyer's Secretary

Chapter 12

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Pushing back on Toji’s chest didn’t yield much in your favor, but it did give you enough room to stare up at him in bewilderment, eyes wide with distrust, “What are you saying?”

“Keep your voice down,” each word got progressively lower as they passed his lips. You stared into his green eyes for several seconds, looking past the strands of hair that shadowed his face to see what intentions lied with a question like that. You knew Toji had to at least be familiar with Hiromi, but did he have a way of contacting him?

You could still feel the dirt on your hands as your nails dug into your palms. Shutting your eyes, you allowed yourself a moment to think. When they opened, your voice was in a near-whisper as you said, “Elaborate, please.”

“What I mean is..,” he stepped forward to speak even lower, now standing much closer than you expected. He ignored your expression as he continued to speak, and from this up close you could’ve sworn you saw desperation pass over his eyes as he said, “..If I go to him for help do I have like… I don’t know, immunity or some shit?” 

Rolling your eyes, you tilted your hip back to create some distance, “He doesn’t have the authority to arrest you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

I’m busy enough as it is.

A smile almost crept up your face at the thought of hearing Hiromi say that - if he found any of this funny. Doubtful, but you did miss the way he found humor at the most inopportune times. Since you’ve arrived here, this wasn’t the first time you’ve heard his voice in your head, speaking strings of words you’ve probably never heard him say aloud. But even if it was made up or a sign of slipping into insanity, it was your only crutch. 

“But I don’t think he’d be too keen on helping you,” you said after deciding you didn’t trust him. Just as you were about to turn away from him for the last time, his hand shot out and grabbed your forearm. His grip was strong enough to keep you sternly in place and you looked up at him with a frightened stare. From this up close you could feel his chest rise and fall against your back with each breath.

“What if I told him it was to help get you out of here?” he asked, eyes still serious but one brow did quirk up a little.

Eying him suspiciously from over your shoulder, you said, “And why would you do that?”

“Because it might help get me out of here as well. I could see my son again.”

If he was lying to you right now, he was doing a damn good job of it. But maybe you just weren’t in the headspace to decipher that right now. After everything you’ve experienced in the last day, the one thing you yearned for most was some form of contact with Hiromi. Just to know if he was okay. And safe. But the desire to know was outweighed by your fears, and you pulled your arm from Toji and faced him head-on as you said, “He can’t be dragged into this... If what your saying could put him in danger, I don’t want-”

“I just need to talk to him,” he assured, ducking down slightly to be more at eye level with you.

“About what?” your voice was starting to strain.   

“If there was enough time to explain, I would,” he said in a soothing voice that only served to piss you off. He seemed to sense that and almost sounded paternal as he tilted his head to the side and said, “I’m being serious, doll.”

Your head was reeling but somewhere in that your mind plucked the memory of Hiromi’s phone being thrown out the car window. “How did Sukuna get his phone?”

You were filled with nervous anticipation as you asked the question, but almost immediately Toji gave a boyish laugh before saying, “If you’re asking if I mugged him, the answer is no. Just a simple sleight of hand while passing him by on the street.”

You were relieved but also more confused than before. You knew asking would do you no good so after a moment's contemplation you said, “Yes, you can trust going to him.” 

He nodded his head and it looked like he was just about to turn away when you quickly piped up with, “What do I do? I mean, the next time I see.. him...”

Knowing exactly who you were referring to, Toji gave you a pitiful look that you also didn’t like, “It’s best not to interfere when he gets like that. Just… take cover or stay out of his way.”

“What was I supposed to do, let an innocent animal die?”

“It’s your life or theirs. Luckily for the both of you, it didn’t get that far,” he said with a dismissive shrug before heading to the door. From the other side of it you could hear the familiar sounds of the lock turning - a signifier that even if there was some hope of getting out of here, you were still presently trapped.

 

 

You didn’t know what to expect from the following evening or the days proceeding it, but it certainly wasn’t to be left alone in the same room with zero sunlight and zero forms of distractions. It was obviously a relief to not be called on by Sukuna so soon after what happened, but with nothing but time and worry on your side, you wondered if maybe you had upset him enough that he was taking this time to decide on what to do with you. But even worse was that you hadn’t seen or heard from Toji either. Each time your door would unlock it was by some nameless, faceless guard to drop off either food, clothes or fresh linens without a single word ever being exchanged. The meals were balanced and tasty, but the clothes were noticeably more plain than before. Instead of skimpy dresses, now it was just loose fitted slacks and plain blouses. A part of you wondered if maybe this was a sign that Sukuna didn’t value you as much as before. Or if something happened to the seamstress… 

By day four, the lack of anything besides your basic needs being met was really starting to eat at you, and you asked the next guard you came across if you could have a book to pass the time. 

“I will have to ask,” the man said, addressing you almost robotically as his eyes stared forward. Besides Toji, they were all interchangeable to you. But something you had only just now started to notice was the way none of them would make eye contact with you, no matter how brief the visit. That also included Toji, but he was only ever like that when Sukuna was around. Picking up on this pattern now, it made you feel his control even when he wasn’t present. 

To your surprise, the next time you woke up one of the first things you spotted was a book left atop of the change of clothes sitting on the dresser. It was a hardback copy of ‘Black Beauty.’ Interesting choice, considering the book's central character was a horse. You remember reading it eons ago back in grade school, and going off of what you remembered, a part of you wondered if Sukuna was trying to draw some sort of connection between the mistreated steed and himself. Or maybe he thought you were a horse girl. For several hours you tried to focus on the words on the pages but it proved difficult since your mind would drift off, thinking about all the things you had no control over. It was frustrating, and eventually you gave up on reading altogether.

With no windows at your disposal, the only way you could tell time was by your meals. Currently you were laid out on the bed, under the covers staring up at the ceiling. Dinner was served over an hour ago and you had felt restless since. The only other thing besides sleep that made the time pass was daydreaming, and whenever you did, you found yourself constantly going back to memories of Hiromi. It was your only way of maintaining your sanity. You would flip through them in your mind like an old photo album, picking out the ones that brought the most comfort to you. 

With the sheets drawn up to your chin, a memory surfaced in your mind that dated back to when Choso’s trial was just starting up. There were several court dates that didn’t necessitate your presence, but back then it was easier for you to tag along when the press coverage wasn’t so intense. You and Hiromi were riding in the back of a company vehicle, with the driver being the only other person present. You remembered how you were too preoccupied with organizing some documents that had scattered in your bag to notice that your skirt had ridden up. You were bent forward with your head nearly touching the back of the passenger seat, never realizing that the lace hem of your stocking and the thin garter straps were exposed.

“This one’s supposed to go in front, right?” you sat up and turned your attention to Hiromi, not expecting to see the smug look on his face. You followed his gaze down and when you finally noticed, your mouth fell open and your hands went down to readjust your skirt. But before you could, his hand reached out to stall them.

“Read them for me, please,” he requested in a tone too casual even for him. You looked at him for a moment and then to the driver, whose focus was entirely on the road from what you could tell. There was no real reason for you to do this, but the hand that went atop your thigh hinted at his true intentions. 

Clearing your throat, you straightened the pages in your hands before reading aloud to him, “In accordance with the court of law, the Defense takes the stance that the following-...”

You continued to read the words off the page but most of it wasn’t registering, due entirely to Hiromi’s hand sliding further up your thigh. Your voice was steady even as his fingers dipped under the lace hem of the stocking, squeezing the flesh underneath. You weren’t sure how far he would go but you allowed your legs to spread gradually the further his hand went up. 

Meanwhile, beneath the sheets of this foreign bed, your own fingers danced across your skin in a similar fashion, separated instead by a pair of slacks and underwear. You could feel your heart pounding - just as it did in the car that day - as you contemplated going further. It was hard to resist what you felt when you remembered how Hiromi’s hand went under your skirt and seeked out your clothed clit, making your task much harder.

“Jud-juwdish..,” you hardly got out, feeling like your heartbeat had dropped to the center of your legs. His hand was now fully under your skirt and feeling his lanky fingers run over your nerves brought a wave of liquid heat to your core that was making your mind fuzzy.

“Ju-dic-ial,” he sounded out for you slow, and if it weren’t for the driver you might’ve told him to wipe that smug look off his face. But admittedly the fear of potentially getting caught brought a heightened arousal that you didn’t expect from yourself. At the time you were on alert, but in the privacy of your own room that wasn’t really your room, such matters didn’t apply... 

To hell with this! So what if this wasn’t your home. It wasn’t like you asked to be here! At this point you didn’t care if there were any recording devices around. All you want right now is to feel even a fraction of the way you did that day. And maybe even more, considering how the vehicle had arrived at the courthouse sooner than either of you would’ve liked, and Hiromi was forced to draw his hand away from your slick panties before stepping out to get your door. 

One hand was now beneath the waistband on your pants, fingers inching closer to that neglected spot. Your skin felt hot as they traveled down to the hem of your cotton underwear, and you contemplated whether they should go underneath them. The thought was tempting but you wanted it to feel as close to how it felt that day. Your fingers weren’t nearly as big as his but you still worked them slowly over your clothed clit, just as he did. You could already feel some of the tension loosen in you but there was a strong sense of yearning that still lingered inside of you. You tried to keep it at bay, redirecting your thoughts to what had happened later that day…

When work was finally over, Hiromi drove you back to his place to stay the night. At that point in time that had become a regular occurrence throughout the weekdays. But you knew after the tease from that morning that you’d be needing his touch later. By the time he had parked outside his condo you were too high strung to wait till you were behind closed doors. Because he was there, tangible, you couldn’t wait a second longer and crawled over his lap.

You were jealous of that girl from back then. She had it way better than either of you could’ve thought.

Driven purely off of lust and longing, you threw caution to the wind and pushed your hand beneath the hem of your underwear. The memory was a bit hazy but you remembered how it was dark, and how desperate you felt pressed up against him. He chuckled at your expense between heated kisses while you grinded on his lap. 

“So needy,” he had said with a smile, knowing he was the cause. 

Neither of you even bothered to head to the backseat, Hiromi instead pulling his driver's seat back just far enough for you to straddle him. It was quite outside and late enough that there was probably no one else around, but you still kept your voice low as you rode him, huffing warm breaths against his collar as you rocked your hips against him. You still had all of your clothes on but Hiromi’s fingers were tangled in the panties and straps of your garter set, pulling them apart to allow room for his thick cock to push inside you. He kept his hips steady but his hands were pulling you up and down his cock rhythmically, encouraging you to bounce on it. All his clothes were on as well, just his pants pushed down enough to free himself. Besides that, he looked just how he did on any given work day. 

You could now see why this particular memory had stayed in the recesses of your mind. It wasn’t just from the excitement of potentially getting caught or the building anticipation finally being relieved. It was because in spite of how he looked or what occurred earlier that day, this was the first time it didn’t feel at all like you were fucking your boss. 

You weren’t sure if this came from a place of pessimism or realism, but even in some of your best moments with Hiromi, there was always the thought lingering in the back of your mind that he was your boss. Just based on anecdotal evidence, this relationship was doomed from the start. But maybe you had been using that as an excuse to not get too attached to him. You didn’t view what you two shared as just a fling, not at all. Even if you didn’t requite his love back then, you had always known that the feelings ran deep. Deeper than you were willing to admit at the time. And you knew especially in that moment - in that car - that this wasn’t just a hookup. The taboo of it all was heavily outweighed by a different feeling, one that only came with time and familiarity. There was the pressing and dragging of fingers against skin. There was the look you shared as you faced each other, sharing breaths in this confined space. Being under the blanket made the air around you feel just as thick as it did in the car, and the grazing of the sheets over your panting lips reminded you of the way Hiromi’s brushed against your own. Maybe if you had been more honest with yourself back then you would’ve told him in that very moment just how much you-

A rattle sound came from the door and caused you to flail under the bedsheets, your arms clawing their way out from underneath as you quickly sat up. It was all in an attempt to pass off as nonchalant, but you couldn’t have been further from that with your wild hair and wide eyes. 

And of course it had to be him of all people to walk through the door.  

“Special delivery,” Toji said while holding up an opaque black garment bag. If it weren’t for the velvet hanger sticking out from the top, it would’ve resembled a body bag. He smiled at you in a way that suggested he suspected something was going on before he entered. You quickly smoothed down your hair while his back was turned and he hung up the bag against the back of the door. It was then that you noticed the shoe box tucked under his arm.

“I was already served dinner..,” you said, giving him a confused look when he met your gaze. 

“He probably just wants to see you, given all the..,” he waved to the shoe box before placing it atop the dresser. He seemed oddly stiff, and you looked just off to the side to see that the door was still ajar, with at least one other man stationed outside. 

You looked from him to the door before saying in what you hoped was an unsuspecting voice, “..I think there might be something wrong with the toilet.”

The guard outside didn’t seem stirred by that, and you got up to show Toji to the bathroom. You stood close beside him while he bent forward to flush the toilet. As the sounds of running water filled the room, he turned his head down to speak directly in your ear. 

“You need to find a way to get his DNA,” he said, the baritone of his voice causing a shiver to go down your spine. 

“So like a spoon or something?” you whispered back.

“I was told spit or hair would be best.”

“How do you expect me to get that?” you pulled to give him a baffled look, but by then the toilet had gone silent. 

“Everything looks good here,” he announced before turning to walk out the door, completely ignoring your question. Your mind was racing with thoughts of the implications to this plan. Was Hiromi building a case on Sukuna? Your head was spinning with theories, but above all else there was one question that stuck out to you, and it made you reach out and tug on Toji’s sleeve. He halted in place and looked back at you passively. Your face read of desperation as you mouthed, “How is he?”

He turned to face you and though you wouldn’t say he looked particularly friendly, his face showed earnesty when he spoke, “Like I said, everything’s good.”

It felt like a boulder had been lifted from your chest. This whole time you feared of looping Hiromi into all this, but now that it was basically unavoidable, it was at least good to know that in some semblance he was okay. You wish you could see him again, hear his real voice and feel his arms wrap around you one more time. You missed the way he’d stroke your spine, trailing his hand down so slow that it felt like he was counting the vertebrae. You wondered how their entire conversation went, if he asked about you at all… but there was no time to ponder on that. You were already following Toji out of the bathroom but stopped when you reached the center of the bedroom. He continued his way to the door and didn’t bother looking in your direction as he said past the doorway, “Get dressed.”

The door closed shut behind him and your lungs felt heavy again as the weight of your task dawned on you. It was a gamble, considering you weren’t sure how much Toji had told him, but you knew that Hiromi would never give you a task that he didn’t think you could handle. Framing it in that way made it easier for you to accept as you walked towards the door and pulled down the zipper to the garment bag. The fabric inside was just as dark, so much so that you couldn’t tell what it really was till you pulled it out. 

Holding the hanger out in front of you, the first thing you thought when scanning over the dress was that it resembled the style of a 1950’s housewife. It had a billowing skirt that looked to stop just below your knees. The fabric was a smooth satin in the deepest shade of black, reminding you of a crows feather with the way it caught the light. Reluctantly putting it on, you could tell it was made by the seamstress with the way the sweetheart neckline and off the shoulder sleeves fitted perfectly across your décolletage. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, you couldn’t help your gut reaction upon seeing it. It was stunningly gorgeous and fit like a glove, but a part of you felt like you were standing in costume. 

Before you could finish taking it all in, there was already a knock coming from the door and the sound of Toji speaking on the other side, telling you to hurry up. You barely had time to get the heels on before the door was being unlocked by one of the guards. You stood on wobbly feet, fixing the strands of hair that fell over your face before meeting Toji’s eyes from across the room. You could tell he was in work mode now, and something about that made you feel even more alone. 

On the way to your destination - wherever that was - all you could think about was the pearl necklace that dangled over the thin ankle strap of the pointed-toe heel. Up until this point, you had no real concerns of Sukuna ever acknowledging it. But now that he had gifted you shoes, and rather flattering ones at that, you worried what he might do if he took notice. You tried taking it off before leaving but the clasp was too small and by then you were basically forced to follow Toji’s lead. 

You followed behind him as he walked you through one winding corridor after another. You didn’t recognize any of them, fairly certain you’ve never crossed paths with them before. He eventually stopped at one particular door in the middle of a hall, and tapped his knuckles on it twice before it was answered with a simple ‘Let her in.’ Toji swiftly turned the knob and held it open for you, his once relaxed posture turning much more rigid now, his eyes pointed strictly forward. You swallowed the knot in your throat as you walked past him, realizing then that the plan had already started and you were on your own now. 

The door closed behind you as you carefully observed the room before you. The first thing you noticed was how impeccably designed it was. Even if it didn’t cater to your personal taste, you could still appreciate the warm golden lighting that illuminated the ruby red furniture and curtains. In matching shades of red and black, the walls were covered in an intricate damask wallpaper that almost looked velvet to the touch. The chill in the room was being offset by a fireplace burning from your left, just a few yards away. Its warmth made you want to step in further, and you almost did if it wasn’t for the shining silver pistol you spotted in the center of the low coffee table that sat between the fireplace and where Sukuna was seated. You recognized it right away as the one from the incident that happened the other day.

“It’s alright,” his voice could be heard past the ringing in your ears, and you looked up to see him leaning forward in his seat, his attention entirely on your face. He blended in so well with this dark eclectic space that you hadn’t really noticed him till he spoke. He was dressed a bit more relaxed than you were, but that was only because his crisp white button up was a bit untucked, with the first few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to reveal his tatted forearms. His hair looks like it was styled earlier in the day to be slicked back, but over time several strands had fallen over his face, framing his ruby eyes. With the crackling wood fire as the only source of light in the space, his hair looked an even deeper shade of blush than it usually did, and the bits of hair framing his face emphasized his strong bone structure and thick lashes.

“Come, sit,” he motioned towards his side, at the empty space on the ground just beside his chair. It was only big enough to sit one person, but what had to be more unnerving than him asking you to sit by his feet like a dog was the fact that he looked like he was genuinely trying to comfort you. There was nowhere to retreat, and that meant for whatever warped charade that was going on here, it was in your best interest to do what he said.

Averting your gaze from the encroaching weapon, you walked towards him slowly and saw how his eyes followed you the entire way. When you were close enough he offered you a hand so you could sit down on the ground, which put you at eye level with the gun on the table. Off to one side of the room you spotted a perfectly functional sofa pressed up against the wall, big enough to sit three people. But alas, your owner had designated you to the floor. Your biggest mistake by far had to be the moment when you uttered that word to him. 

Once sat over the plush rug, you let go of his hand to smooth down your skirt while inconspicuously crossing one ankle over the other, hoping that might hide the necklace. Sitting beside the front left leg of his chair, you were close enough that if you leaned to the side just a bit further, you’d bump your shoulder against his knee. You definitely didn’t feel comfortable leaning against him, and instead sat up a little straighter with your hands curled in your lap, hoping you didn’t come off as rigid as you felt. 

Still watching you closely, Sukuna eventually spoke up with, “I know we’re still learning about each other, but I don’t think it’s too far-fetched for me to assume that you don’t have much experience with these.”

You followed his gaze to the coffee table where the gun sat, and looked at it before looking back up at him, giving him a tentative nod. He was expecting that response, as shown by the corners of his lips turning up just slightly as he said in an almost patronizing tone, “Guns are dangerous.”

“I know that much,” you couldn’t help but retort, looking towards the table again. You weren’t expecting it when you felt his palm glide down your scalp, gently stroking the back of your head and down past your shoulder before repeating the motion over again. He was touching your hair like you were a doll, simultaneously smoothing it down while not disturbing it either. You sat very still while his fingertips grazed down the side of your neck and towards your bare shoulder, causing the nerves in your spine to prickle like scattered raindrops.  

“And I’m dangerous,” he said in a way that drew your eyes up to him again. He was still so hard to read but he seemed earnest as he continued with, “The next time you see me with a gun in my hand, just go the other way. Run if you have to. I don’t want you to have to see me like that again.”

His words weren’t particularly comforting but he sounded as if he actually reflected back on his actions prior to this. Like he was trying to be better. Better for you? You weren’t sure if that was entirely the case, but eventually you gave a small nod as you said, “I understand.”

He looked at you for a moment before sitting back in his seat to stare at the crackling fire, “Good. I hope what happened doesn’t get in the way of things going forward.”

Not that I have much of a choice. 

That was your first thought, but an idea sprung in your head and you seized the opportunity before it could pass you. Turning your head down, you said in a softer voice, “It shouldn’t, but… it would be a lot easier if I had… any clue as to why I’m here or how you know me.”

You knew this was a risk but you still dared to look up at him with pleading eyes. Maybe if you could navigate this correctly, he’d be receptive to giving you information. You still had no clue how you were supposed to get a DNA sample from him, especially the kind Toji was talking about. But regardless, it was your goal to leave this room with something, whether it be verbal or physical. 

Sukuna looked at you for a long moment. So long that you were almost afraid that he already had you figured out. But just as a sweat bead was forming on your temple, he slouched in his seat with a fist holding up his chin, “You initially caught our attention after Choso spent the night at your apartment.”

You looked off in the distance, just past his shoulder as your mind connected the pieces. Was this confirmation that Choso worked for this man? And Geto, for that matter? You remember seeing the news report from the temple where the priest had denied any affiliation with him. It made sense, since the trial was all the public could focus on. And the fact that there was drugs in his locker... Whatever association Choso had with them, it wasn’t good.

Still unsure of where this was going, you said, “He was having a rough night and needed somewhere to stay.”

“You did all that for a client?” he asked curiously. You knew he had to at least be familiar with your job, but hearing him speak on it so casually was still off-putting. 

“He came over after getting jumped. Since the trial, he hasn’t had much support or anyone to really turn to, so I tried to help,” you said, making sure to keep your response honest but vague.  

Sukuna considered your words for a moment before leaning back in his chair. He had a playful lilt to this voice as he said, “I wasn’t aware you were so trusting. Of a criminal, no less.” 

“He wasn’t convicted. And well.. we also grew up together, so he knew me through that,” you said, and hoped you wouldn’t come to regret telling him that. 

“Really?” he asked rhetorically, intrigue in his voice. You didn’t know what to say but you observed him as he looked towards the fire again. His fist was propping up the side of his head and his eyes sparkled from the flames as he said, “I’m almost jealous.”

“Why?” you asked before thinking. Because all you could think in that moment was, He’s free and Choso isn’t. How could he possibly be jealous?  

“I have no connections like that from my past. No one I can rely on. It’s just me and my money that dictates everything around me. But as they say, ‘money doesn’t buy happiness’.” 

“Is that what you want?” you asked, your voice carrying a note of interest that you hoped didn’t sound like prying. You were still trying to figure out where you fit in all this.

“Doesn’t everybody?” he asked and you knew this time that he wasn’t expecting an answer from you. Your eyes widened when he shifted in his seat, now leaning over the arm of his chair to look at you closely. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from his ruby gaze as he said, “I want to build a genuine connection that isn’t just tied to my power and influence.”

You could’ve pointed out the horrible irony to that, but it felt like you were finally starting to get somewhere with him. There was a certain vulnerability he was displaying, and seconds ticked by on the grandfather clock with palpable silence between you two. Seeing him up close, you figured out a way to get what you needed.  

“I think I’d… like something like that, too..,” you said, and added last minute, “One day.”

Your voice was meek but that was enough for him to shift slightly, looking down at you in surprise as he asked, “You mean that?”

You could only nod, a knot forming in the back of your throat. You could sense him leaning in further, but you kept still even as his hand found your chin. He tilted it up so you were looking directly in his eyes, and from this close you could feel the heat of his skin as he spoke, “And what you had with your boss. It’s over?”

Whatever hurt you felt from his words, you didn’t let it show in your face. Knowing what you were about to do, the last thing you wanted to think about was Hiromi, but you had to remind yourself that you were doing this for him. 

“Yes,” you said firmly, looking deeply at him as if you were professing your heart to him. It seemed to work with the way Sukuna leaned in closer, head starting to tilt to one side as he said, “Then he wouldn’t mind if I did this..” 

He was looking between your eyes and your lips, and when he closed his eyes that's when you followed suit, waiting for the impact. Warm lips pressed to yours, not shy but not fully confident. You could feel he was holding himself back for your sake. But as your lips started to move with his, you leaned forward and ran a hand up his scalp, through thick locks of hair. He groaned in approval, one arm circling your shoulders to pull you in closer. While his lips searched yours, your fingers started to slowly curl into his hair, towards the crown of his head. Your other hand was over his shoulder to keep yourself balanced, but that didn’t seem to be enough for him. Your lips didn’t part when he sank from his chair down to the floor. Now at your level, he had his arms wrapped around you, hands feeling all over your back and waist. His caution was slowly waning and you gripping him so possessively wasn’t helping that. He was merely responding to the intensity you set forth, and part of that scared you considering what you were about to do. But it was too late to turn back now. 

While his hands had a possessive hold over your waist, you pulled into him further while your fingers curled around his hair. His tongue was teasing the seam of your lips and you waited till yours met his to really press into him, yanking his hair at the same time. His response was immediate.

You felt a sense of vertigo as you were being pushed to the ground. If the rug below you wasn’t so plush, you might’ve bumped your head. But all you could feel was the tight hold of Sukuna’s hands around your wrists, pinning them to the floor as he gave you a scary look. One that reminded you why you hated him.

Frozen in fear, you didn’t move an inch as he stared down at you, his chest heaving as he said, “If you’re wanting to take this slow, I can affirm this isn’t the way.”

He was looking down at you intently, and you realized he was waiting for a response. You nodded your head in acknowledgement and felt momentarily relieved when he loosened his grip on you to sit up. Shakily propping yourself up by your elbows, you could see he was looking down at his sleeves that he was adjusting as he said, “That can all come in due time. For now, my expectations of you are far more…domestic.”

He stood and offered a hand to you, which you tentatively took. Once you stood he let loose of your hand and ran it down the back of your head like he did before, only this time it felt more like an apology. He had to be the most confusing man you’ve ever met. 

All the sudden a knock came at the door, and based on his reaction, he seemed to be expecting it. A hand went over the small of your back and he started to lead you towards the door as he said, “I won’t be home for a few days, but don’t worry. I won’t keep you locked away in that room any more. You’re free to go most anywhere, just as long as you have a guard with you. Can I trust you with that?”

He was asking like you had a choice, but you accepted graciously anyway. He seemed to like that, and stopped before the door to turn and face you. The fondness in his eyes made your stomach twist but you stood still as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. His fingers lingered on your skin longer than necessary, but soon enough he was pulling away to open the door for you. 

There were two guards waiting outside. Or rather one guard and one… employee? He was in a suit, unlike the guard beside him who was in more casual, utilitarian style clothing. Sukuna and the suited man were already storming down the hall and disappeared down a corridor, not to be seen again for the night. As for the guard, he stood silently, waiting for you to follow his lead. You could tell by the direction he was heading that you would be staying in Sukuna’s room for the night, presumably alone. 

And because this guard wasn’t Toji, you kept your fist tight behind your back, clutching the few hairs that were being held tight between your knuckles.  

 

—-

 

On the days Sukuna was gone, you were anxiously waiting for the moment when you’d run into Toji again. With the guards you were assigned with, you regularly asked to go on walks around the property, but everywhere you looked he wasn’t around. At a certain point you gave up, figuring he was probably with Sukuna. He seemed closer to him than any of the other guards. 

Every time you were brought back to the bedroom, you’d check to make sure that the hairs were still where you left them. You had no clue on how to properly preserve evidence, so the best you could do with what you had was to carefully wrap the strands in tissue paper and tuck them into the tiny bible that sat inside the nightstand. It looked like it had never been opened, and though the cleaning staff came in every day, they didn’t seem to ever notice or touch it. Still you feared it being found every time you left the room.

Several days passed before you saw Sukuna again, your only warning being the deep burgundy dress that was hung at your door. The fabric was flowy but clung to your body as you walked. Your nerves were creeping up on you as you got dressed, and you were glad that you weren’t given another pair of fancy heels to wear. You chose this time to pad through the mansion barefoot, the marble floors cool and solid below you. It may have juxtaposed with the elegant dress but Sukuna made no remark about it as he stood in the wide entryway, a smile spreading across his face as you stepped forward.

“I’m home,” he said, impeccably dressed in a three piece suit with a thick coat overtop. His shoulder sparkled with the residuals of raindrops.  

“Welcome back,” you said, matching his energy as you leaned in to kiss his cheek. When you pulled back he leaned in for more but before that could happen, you dropped to your knees, face coy as you started to untie his shoes.

“I could get used to this,” he looked down at you smugly, eyeing your satin wrapped form. 

“Isn’t that the point?” you said, going for the other lace. He helped you up before handling the rest, and you walked behind him to help him out of his coat. You noticed then that the guards who had escorted you weren't anywhere to be found. They were stationed nearly everywhere in this estate, so seeing the room like this made it feel like it was just you two in this big home, and you wondered if that was done on purpose.

You hung up the coat on one of the hooks and when you turned back you noticed he was adjusting his sleeves. It was then that you spotted his bruised knuckles, and you frowned down at his hand as you asked, “What happened?”

“This?” he asked casually, flexing his fingers. He let his hand fall to his side and directed you further in the house with a hand on your lower back as he said, “Don’t worry about it. Come, let’s have dinner.”

You weren’t sure whether to be concerned, but you followed him nonetheless. He led you to the dining room where you spent your first night with him, and saw that there were already two sets of plates set up on the table. Sukuna sat at the head of it, but not before tucking in your chair for you. He seemed relaxed but he still sat heavily in his chair, arms laid over the tabletop. You thought he might’ve been signaling for you to hold his hand, and you almost did before stalling upon the sight of his scarred knuckles. Afraid that might hurt him if you touched them, your fingers retracted consciously, which didn’t go unnoticed by him. 

“If you really must know..,” he said with a huff, leaning back in his chair. He didn’t seem annoyed, but reluctant to admit, “..I almost beat someone up but I didn’t want to come home with bloody knuckles. So I punched a wall instead. I know, not very smart.” 

You didn’t want to confirm that, so you nodded slowly in understanding. He seemed to be deep in thought, and you waited for him to respond with, “People always assumed the worst in me, so I never got the chance to prove them otherwise. But I’m trying to change that.”

You wondered if this was the first time he’s told this to someone. Giving him a rye smile, you patted his wrist as you said, “Try hitting something softer next time.” 

You went to pull your hand back but Sukuna caught it before you could. His much larger hand rested gently over your fist. He didn’t use any restraint but you still felt forced to keep it there. Luckily that was interrupted when a server came out with a cart topped with several hors d'oeuvres.

Dinner went by smoothly, by all accounts. Sukuna spoke for the majority of the time, which you preferred. He would get angrier at his own recounting of recent events and go off on tangents that consisted of approximately 50% curse words. Eventually he would stop himself to give an unceremonious apology, and then start the cycle all over again. It was entertaining in a way, and you paid close attention to see if you could pick up on anything useful. But for as recklessly as he spoke, the information he shared was too scattered to draw any conclusions. You knew he was the head of some kind of operation. Based on his connection with Geto you could venture what that was. You knew he traveled a lot and got into regular physical altercations with people, most of which seemed to be spawned by Sukuna’s short temper. But nothing about what he said painted a full picture, and you had a feeling that was done to intentionally keep you in the dark. 

During a lapse in the one-sided conversation, you thought it best then to ask, “Was Toji with you the whole time?”

“How do you know his name?” Sukuna asked suddenly, dropping his fork onto his plate with a clatter. It was like the mask had fallen off and he was back to the scary man you knew before. You didn’t like it at all, and wished you had kept your mouth shut.

“I met him at the temple before… before I was brought here,” you said, the words bitter on your tongue. It was hard to look at him when he was like this, and though you tried placating him, you couldn’t help but to shrink in a little when he leaned in closer. He noticed, and his posture seemed to soften as his eyes wandered off. You held your breath for a long moment until he spoke. 

“I must’ve forgotten,” he responded simply, which caught you off guard. When he pulled back, you sank into your seat a bit and his hand dropped over yours once again. This time he didn’t let it go even as the server approached to refill your glasses.

 

 

You purposely let the dinner stretch on for as long as possible, but you still felt your anxiety spike once he directed you out the dining room and down the hall. You knew where you were heading but for the first time in days, it would be accompanied with him. His hand was low on your hip, and he had a curious smile on his face that made it hard to read his intentions. When you reached his room and the door closed behind you, you tried to stay calm but you jolted at the presence of a hand on your shoulder.

“Shower’s this way,” he said, tilting his head towards the bathroom door. He began to walk towards it while unbuttoning his vest, and it took a moment for your brain to register what was happening. He was already several steps ahead of you when you tentatively called out to him, and he stopped where he was to turn and face you.

“I- uh… I want to take things slow. If that’s okay with you..,” you said, eyes avoiding his. You noticed his feet moving towards you and your back went straight, preparing for the worst. Instead he reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Of course. I’m getting ahead of myself,” he admitted maturely, to your surprise. When his hand dropped to his side, he said with finality, “But you’re sleeping in the bed. No exceptions.”

And before you could say anything, he was off to shower alone. 

 

—-

 

Though none of this was ideal, you were at least glad that Sukuna kept by his word at taking things slow. There were moments when he’d go in for a kiss and you’d allow it for a moment, but you’d always find a reason to pull back before things could go too far. That still didn’t stop him from doting on you every now and then. Like now. You know for a fact that he’s mentioned before that he hardly ever uses his pool, but you theorized that since you haven’t showered with him yet, this was his way of getting to see more of your skin. The skimpiness of the bathing suit you were given said as much, but luckily the loose beach wrap it came with covered your hips and part of your legs. Still you felt his eyes on you as you stood outside the pool, in front of a cutting board with fresh fruits for you to pick through. He sat in the pool with his arms folded under him, propping himself up on the edge as he said, “Are you gonna get in our what?”

Popping a grape in your mouth, you looked to him saying, “Haven’t you ever heard that you’re not supposed to get in the pool after eating.”

You crunched down on the waxy skin of the grape, and a burst of soury-sweet juice filled your mouth. On the table, there was a whole pineapple that you were contemplating cutting into, but your thoughts were interrupted when you heard Sukuna getting out of the pool. Your body tensed as he approached. Dressed only in navy swim trunks, you had to avert your eyes from the clingy fabric. The water that covered his skin highlighted his muscles and his hair clung to his forehead, making him look younger and more carefree. While you still faced the cutting board in front of you, he stood directly behind you and reached out to pick a grape. He bit down on it similarly to how you did, and rested a hand over your waist as he said, “I don’t think a couple of grapes are gonna kill you.”

His lips found the crook of your neck where he began to coat in lingering kisses, the kind that made you feel his plush lips run across your artery. It was so unexpected that it made you tremble, and he read that as an invitation to pull you in further. From this up close you could feel his erection pressed up against your ass, and before things could go any further you shrugged away from his touch and turned to face him with a placating smile. His brows furrowed and you said quickly, “It’s this bathing suit. It’s far too nice to get wet.”

“That’s kind of the point of it,” he retorted, but his face relaxed when he leaned in to rest a hand over the tabletop, half trapping you in. He was leaning towards your lips as he said, “And besides, I can always have my seamstress make another, if something were to happen to it…”

He said that while hooking his finger beneath where the wrap rested over your hips, pulling just enough to loosen the knot, causing the fabric to drift to the ground. He was admiring your body at arms length but you could tell he was about to pull you in again, and before that could happen you pressed your hands against his chest, halting his motion to say, “Don’t you think you work her too much? She’s very talented but I don’t need a fancy new dress every day.”

He looked you up and down, and for a second you were worried he might get upset but instead he leaned in to kiss your jaw lightly while saying, “I like you in dresses.”

You didn’t expect him to lower himself before you, hands over your hips while he started to kiss down your legs. Goosebumps rose on your thighs in the wake of his kisses, and between them he was smiling to himself as he said, “..-Like seeing your legs..”

His hands ran down the back of your legs, face inching closer to the space between your thighs. Inside you were tensing up but you kept still as you fought for a reason to get out of his embrace, but before you could you felt him halt. He was down on his knees, and you felt his hand circle one of your ankles as he said, “When did you get this?”

Your heart stopped for a split second at the realization that he was referring to Hiromi’s gift. You felt an overwhelming sense of protection over the necklace but you kept your voice neutral as you said, “I’ve had it for a long time. It was a gift from my mom.”

His fingers ran over the chain and you gently pulled your foot back from his embrace, planting it behind you as you said, “..I-I’d like to keep it, if that’s okay…”

He looked at it quizzically, and your heart pounded with each second that passed. You didn’t know what you’d do with yourself if your last tie to Hiromi was ripped away from you. Luckily Sukuna pulled back and he leaned against the table right beside you to say, “It looks cheap but sure. I’ll get you something better in the future.”

You wanted to tell him that there was nothing he could give you that was better than it, but you held your tongue. It looked like he was about to lean in for a real kiss this time but a voice coming from the doorway back to the home called out to Sukuna. You were shocked to see that it was Toji, but he didn’t so much as look in your direction as he held out a phone to Sukuna. From this distance you could see on the screen that there was a call on hold, but from who you couldn’t tell. Sukuna seemed to be expecting it, and though he was hardly dressed, his demeanor shifted so he was back in work mode. You’ve witnessed this often in the last few days you’ve spent with him, and was always grateful for the reprieve from his presence. Sometimes he would be gone for just a few minutes and other times it was for the entire day. When he approached Toji he grabbed the phone from his hand and snapped his fingers, instructing him to take you back to his room. You interpreted that it meant you wouldn’t be seeing him till dinner time, and you felt a wash of relief come over you at the idea of being alone for a few hours. Isolation was miserable in its own way, but at least you didn’t have to perform or be constantly vigilant of his every reaction.  

You grabbed your wrap and threw it over your shoulders, bringing it around your chest for some semblance of modesty. Walking back in the house, the cool A/C made contact with your bare skin and you clutched the fabric closer to your chest. On the way to Sukuna’s room, you didn’t spot any other guards in the vicinity, so when Toji opened the door for you, you hurriedly asked him to come in. He looked hesitant, and searched the hall on either side of him before stepping inside, leaving a small gap open in the door. 

Once you felt far enough in the room that your voice wouldn’t be carried through the doorway, you whispered spitefully, “You were gone for so long.”

“I didn’t really have a choice, doll,” he strolled into the room while you entered the closet to grab something to throw on. An oversized t-shirt would’ve worked just fine but of course that wasn’t on par with Sukuna’s taste, so instead you grabbed one of his button ups.

“Well, I can’t speak for the integrity of the evidence at this point but it's all I got,” you said, and walked to the nightstand to pull out the little bible. Before you could, you heard, “Luckily that's what I have this for.”

You turned to see him holding up a clear plastic bag with a long cotton swab and empty test tube inside. He pulled out a glove from his pocket and put it on, and as he reached in the bag for the swab, he said, “Say ahh.”

“He didn’t kiss me on the lips..,” you confessed reluctantly, feeling ashamed even if there was no reason to. You pointed to the part of your neck where he had focused his lips on most, and hoped that’d be enough.

As Toji gently swabbed your skin, he observed, “I see you two have gotten pretty close.”

“I’m… playing along.” That was as simple as you could explain it. Not wanting to think about it more than you had to, you used this opportunity to ask him about Hiromi.

“Have you seen him… since the last time…?”

“No. Like I said, I’ve been busy,” he said simply, focused on getting the test tube open. While his hands were full he said, “You must really love this guy, huh?”

Love. Just that word alone hurt your heart, and you looked down towards your feet as you said, “Yes, but it’s over.”

“No it’s not,” he scoffed like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It took you aback, not expecting to hear that from him at all.

“What do you mean?” you said in a quieter voice, feeling a sudden tightness form in your chest. 

He tentatively looked towards the empty doorway before turning back. He leaned in closer and looked you up and down for a second before saying, “I know it may not look like it, but I know a thing or two about love. The last time I saw him, it looked like he hardly ate or slept since you’ve been gone. I don’t know what kind of magical powers you have over the men in your life, but he looked utterly… What was that word my son taught me the other day..? Besotted. Can you imagine a preschooler saying that? Either way, the man is completely obsessed with you. The look I see in his eyes is the same one I see in yours every time he’s brought up. You should be so lucky.”

You stood still with your arms tucked tight, trying to take that all in. Before you could stop yourself a sob ripped from your chest and tears flooded your eyes. You covered your face with a hand as you tried to compose yourself. 

“Ah, don’t do that,” Toji said with hubris. It did nothing to lighten your mood and you had to run the collar of Sukuna’s shirt under your nose before you could speak.

“I made a terrible mistake. And I never got to tell him-... He may never know-…”

“Hey,” he placed a firm hand over your shoulder, urging you to look at him. You felt so pathetic but you blinked up at him regardless as he said, “Yes, you will. That’s what we got this for, right?”

He waved the baggy with the test tube inside before shoving it in his pocket. You were grateful for his optimism but it didn’t change the situation. Hoping the conversation would end here, you said dismissively, “You don’t understand.”

His lips formed a frown and he pondered on that for a moment before saying, “Probably not. But do you think he’s the type of man that wouldn’t?”

Something in that struck a chord with you. It made you think of everything you’ve gone through with Hiromi, and how even if you were in doubt about ever getting out of this mess, you never doubted him. Even before you started dating, you always admired his resilience and compassion. Sure you’ve had fights in the past, but what Toji said reminded you that you two could get through this too. You had to believe that if you were ever going to see him again. You had to believe that there was a world in which you could finally talk things out with him. Weeks ago you felt aimless and now it was all you lived for. And if Hiromi was in any way like Toji had described, you knew he would hear you out. 

Unsure of what to say or do now, you placed a hand on the one Toji had over your shoulder while you whispered a ‘Thank you.’ He was smiling back at you, and it seemed like he was about to make his leave when a sudden loud noise rang out in the room. It reverberated off the walls and into your ears so fast that it almost felt like it hadn’t happened at all. But now there was a warm splatter of liquid across your face and chest. And Toji’s eyes hollowed out before he slumped forward, nearly falling on top of you before sinking down to his knees. Frazzled, you tried to help him back up but all your muscles stiffened upon seeing the steady stream of blood coming from the side of his head, dripping onto the hardwood floors below. 

He was dead before he even hit the ground, and in the doorway stood a devil with a gun.

Notes:

i know i keep apologizing for the delayed updates but 2023 really wasn't my year lol. but im really trying to finish this story asap. ty for being patient with me 🙏

and to the person who said they loved toji in the last chapter.... uh......

 

me if you care