Chapter Text
“Tell me how to break a soul bond.”
Aizawa stares. Katsuki can’t blame him. He’d run past the secretary the second the administration building opened and slammed Aizawa’s office door open without so much as a knock. He’s sweaty and terrified. He’d spent all night pacing outside the building waiting for Aizawa to show up, too full of nerves and dread to go home to Deku.
The clock on the wall ticks. Aizawa takes a good look at Katsuki and quietly dismisses the other demon he’d been talking to you. “What’s gotten into you?” he asks as Katsuki parks himself in a chair. “Why do you want to break your contract with Midoriya?”
“It was stupid. I was stupid. Just tell me how to fix it.”
“Why –”
“It was a mistake,” Katsuki says and puts his head in his hands. “I tricked him into coming here for a stupid selfish reason and now he’s trapped forever. He could have had love. He could have seen his mother again someday in Paradise and I ruined it. His soulmate would have been perfect, he would have been a famous mangaka but now he’s stuck in this shithole and I don’t know how to set him free.”
Aizawa’s quiet for a long time. “So you upheld your end of the bargain, huh? He wanted true love.”
“Who cares about that? Just give me a way to void the contract.”
“I can’t,” Aizawa sighs. “No, listen. It’s not that I don’t want to. His soul’s been channelled back into Hell.” He points over his shoulder to the window behind him. The red sun’s just starting to rise, casting odd shadows over the street beyond. “Our world is inhospitable, Bakugou. Nothing would grow if it weren’t constantly being fed by magic and soul power.”
“It’s just one soul,” Katsuki pleads. “We’re not going to collapse if you give him his life back.”
“We would. It’s like weaving a blanket,” Aizawa says patiently. “His soul is fused with Hell, spread over eons of power. Even if I could extract his spirit alone, it would leave a hole in the blanket. Frayed ends will start to unravel and over time magic will leak through. I can’t make our framework unstable just because you regret lying to him.”
“But there has to be something I can do!”
“You could replace it, maybe. With something of equal value so I can plug up the fissure immediately.”
“Like what? Another soul?”
“Of equal or greater power, yes. If you can find one I may be able to do something.”
“Nobody’s ever been powerful enough to summon me,” Katsuki mutters, overworked mind working a mile a minute. “Nobody but Deku. I could hijack connections like Kirishima does. I’ll find one if I can keep searching.”
“Maybe.” In a rare moment of softness, Aizawa reaches across the table to pat Katsuki’s arm. “But I wouldn’t count on it. Short of exchanging your own magic I doubt you’ll be able to match Midoriya's."
Katsuki’s quiet for a long, uncomfortable moment. “I could unbind him if I gave you my magic.”
“I wouldn’t suggest you do that. You’d lose your rank and everything you own.”
“But it would work,” Katsuki insists. “I could get him out of this myself.”
“Theoretically, I suppose. Look, Katsuki, don’t kill yourself worrying about –”
“I’ll figure something out.” The chair scrapes as he stands up. His skin’s clammy and his stomach feels leaden with dread but he wills his posture to stay upright and proud. “The bottom line is it can be done, right?”
Aizawa sighs. “Yes. Yes, I think it can.”
“Then I’ll do it,” Katsuki says and swallows his fear. “Give me one last month with him and I’ll set him free.”
Kacchan gets jumpy.
He clings to Izuku’s side. Izuku doesn’t mind it, necessarily, but he won’t even let Izuku go to the bathroom without waiting outside like a puppy. “What’s gotten into you?” Izuku asks as he dries his hands. Kacchan hovers by the doorway. “I was gone five minutes, you can’t already miss me.”
Kacchan doesn’t answer. He doesn’t go out anymore either, and he won’t let his friends visit even though they ask every three days. He holds Izuku’s hand every minute of the day and barks at the staff when they dare stop to say hello.
Izuku sighs as Kouda goes scurrying out the door. “You can’t yell at them for bringing the food you asked them to get, Kacchan.”
“He hovered around you too long. We’re supposed to be alone.”
“He was just trying to say hi. I haven’t spoken to him in a week because you won’t let me.”
Kacchan scowls at the floor. Izuku sighs and leans over, lying half in Kacchan’s lap so they’re forced to look at each other. “What’s happening, Kacchan?” he tries, gentler this time. “You seem unhappy. Did I do something wrong?”
“You didn’t.”
“Then why’s it been days since I last saw you smile? You’ve always been grumpy but this is unprecedented.
Kacchan turns the frown on him. It would have scared him six months ago but now Izuku just feels exasperated. “Deku. I love you.”
Izuku blinks. “Oh.”
“I’ve never said it. But I do. Even if you ever grew to hate me I’d still love you. Even if the things I do don't seem like I love you, I do. I want you to know.”
Izuku’s stomach does something funny and wobbly in its cavity. He squirms, surprised but in no way unhappy, reaching up to gingerly touch Kacchan’s cheek. “Okay. I love you too.”
Kacchan’s expression stays serious, eyes boring into him like they’re trying to pull him apart. “Say it again.”
“I love you.”
“Again.”
“I love you. Kacchan, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Katsuki says but doesn’t smile. “I just... I don’t want to forget.”
He doesn’t sleep.
A few times Izuku wakes up to find Kacchan just looking at him, sitting up in bed and brooding. It’s perplexing, at first. Then it becomes worrying because Kacchan stares now like he’s searching for something Izuku can’t give.
“Did you have a nightmare?” Izuku asks, voice quiet in the cool night-time light. “Do you want to talk about it? You seem upset.”
A hand smooths his hair back. “I’m not upset. I’m admiring you, I suppose.”
Izuku yawns. “I mean, suit yourself, but you can do that when it’s not the middle of the night.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologise.” Blinking slowly, Izuku squeezes his hand and rolls over. “Now stop being silly, Kacchan. Come cuddle me, it’s time to sleep.”
“Kirishima sent a letter inviting us to a party.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Let’s go to the Badlands. We’ll look at more dragons.”
“But Kirishima –”
“Forget about Kirishima. We have better things to do than entertain him all day.”
Izuku frowns. Kacchan doesn’t even seem to realise he’s pacing, hair messy and sleep pants loose around his waist. His wings fidget irritably and his tail’s tightly kinked like a broken spring. “Are you mad at him?”
“What? No. I’d just rather spend alone time with you.”
“All our time is alone time, Kacchan. Maybe it would do you good to see your friends.”
Kacchan whirls around. He’s instantly offended, feathers puffed up like an angry bird. “Are you trying to get rid of me? Have you decided you hate me?”
“What are you talking about?”
Kacchan flounces on the sofa. He looks furious, although Izuku can’t even begin to guess what for. “Go without me if you must.”
“Okay?”
“You can’t be serious! You’d really leave me to see him?”
Izuku throws his hands up. “I have no idea what you want, Kacchan. Seriously, what’s with you? What’s got you so upset?”
Kacchan crosses his arms and refuses to answer. “Nothing. Watch All Might with me.”
“You’re acting like a toddler.”
Kacchan’s expression goes pinched. He looks like he’s at war with himself, but finally uncrosses his arms and keeps his voice level. “Sorry. I know you like the others. We can go if it’ll make you happy.”
He’s getting worse, Izuku realises with sinking dread.
He doesn’t eat. He doesn’t sleep. He doesn’t leave Izuku’s side and gets angry when lesser demons take up his time. He ignores the staff and won’t leave the house unless Izuku promises to go with him. He’s even jealous of Toothless. It’s like he’s possessed, snapping at everyone and everything that even dares to look at Izuku.
That in itself isn’t the worst part. Kacchan gets sadder as the days where on, smiling less and speaking in cryptic half-sentences that hint something’s about to go wrong. It annoys Izuku until it starts to get scary. Whatever’s bothering Kacchan is making him despondent. The flashes of anger aren’t all that surprising but the defeat is upsetting. It’s like seeing a jungle cat trapped in a zoo. A beast of power and fire imprisoned behind bars, pacing endlessly in a concrete prison until its pride seeps away and it forgets how to be wild. Forgets what hunting was like. Stops wanting to see the world outside and gives up, lying in a corner waiting to die.
Izuku tries to ask. He’s not equipped for this, has never been the person others turned to for help. But Kacchan’s hurting, he’d be blind not to see it, so he prods and tries to piece the problem together from nothing. Alternates between pleading and prying. Sits and worries while Kacchan stares into space, hand wrapped tightly around Izuku’s but now meeting his eye.
The last straw comes in week three. They’re in the room Izuku barely uses now, curled up in bed and not talking. Kacchan still won’t tell him what’s wrong. The fear and dread sparks genuine anger and Izuku sits bolt upright with a scowl.
“What is going on with you?” he cries, slipping out of bed to stomp for the door. “You’ve been moping for almost a month and it isn’t like you. You cling to me but won’t open your mouth and use your words.”
Kacchan follows him like he always does. “Where are you going? Don’t leave.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” He puts his hands on his hips. He’s not threatening, he knows he isn’t, but that doesn’t stop his wings puffing up like an angry cat’s tail. “I won’t hang out with you until you explain what’s bothering you so much. You’re like a whole other person.”
Kacchan makes a face. “It’s not – it doesn’t concern you. I’ll tell you when the month is over.”
“No you won’t. You’ll tell me right now,” Izuku demands. “Something’s off with you, Kacchan, and I’m not about to stand by and let you spiral into it alone. I just want you to talk to me. Even if I can’t do anything about it I can help make you feel a little better.”
“It’s not something I want to talk about.”
“Well I do!”
“Later.”
“No.” He gets right in Kacchan’s face. Stands right in front of him so Kacchan has no choice but to look at him, hands on Kacchan’s biceps and trapping him in place. “Talk to me,” he pleads. “Whatever’s wrong we can fix it. You’re so sad all the time and it’s breaking my heart.”
“I cannot have you hate me before my time is up.”
“Why are you talking like you’re dying?”
“I might,” Kacchan laughs hollowly. “Who knows. I’d already lose everything else.”
It’s like Izuku’s been doused in cold water. His stomach is heavy, filled with lead, but he holds Kacchan’s face with both hands and tries to tell him with his eyes what he’s feeling. “You’re scaring me, Kacchan. I don’t understand why you can’t just tell me the truth.”
“I will, Deku, just not right now.”
“Do I not get a say?”
“No,” Kacchan says and pulls away. “I’ll give you a moment to cool off. I don’t want to fight.”
“Oh, fuck that. You don’t get to do this to me, Bakugou Katsuki. You can’t say all this fatalistic crap and then tell me it’s none of my business.”
Kacchan looks stricken. “I didn’t – I wasn’t trying to upset you.”
“Well you did!” Izuku’s voice cracks. His vision’s going blurry at the corners; tears, he realises absently, but he doesn’t bother to wipe them away. “Are you kidding me? I’d lose everything but don’t worry about it? You think I’m just going to leave it alone after that? I’m not. I’m not letting you be sad any more. If you won’t tell me what’s going on with you I’ll find out myself. I’ll ask Kirishima. I’ll ask all your friends. I’ll stop everyone in town. I’ll go right to Aizawa and tell him to make you tell the truth.”
Kacchan’s eyes go wide. “Don’t talk to Aizawa.”
“Try and stop me! I’ll bite you! I’ll jump right out this window and fly all over the city until I find him!”
“You don’t know how to fly.”
“Well then I’ll walk. I’ll bring Toothless with me and you won’t see me again until I find out what’s going on with you and then I’ll – I’ll –”
“Please don’t cry,” Kacchan says helplessly. His hands are calloused but gentle as he tries to wipe tears off Izuku’s face but they keep coming. “Deku, please. This is exactly what I didn’t want. I can’t have you angry with me, not now.”
“Then tell me the truth.” He’s being petulant and emotional. He knows this but cries anyway, sniffling and red-faced like a child. “Please just – just be honest with me, Kacchan, please. I can’t stand you being so unhappy all the time.”
“You’ll hate me.”
“Don’t tell me how I’m going to feel.”
Kacchan takes a deep breath. His face is pinched with worry, nothing like the debonair confidence or brooding acceptance Izuku’s seen from him in the year since he came here. “I lied to you, Deku,” he says quietly. “You never had to summon me. You were going to find a soulmate yourself.”
Izuku sniffles. Kacchan’s face looks like blotches of colour through the haze of tears. “What are you talking about? You’re my soulmate.”
“I’m just a fraud. You called me and I already knew you didn’t need me.”
“Wh-”
“In that moment I saw some of your future,” says Kacchan. “Your life was going to get better. You would have become an artist and found yourself someone kind to marry. People would have looked up to you. Eventually you would have died and met your mother’s soul again in Paradise but I looked at you and saw your soul and I wanted it. For a stupid, selfish reason. I gave it to Aizawa. In exchange for an increase in rank here in Hell.”
The breeze blows. The curtains flutter softly, rustling silk just barely audible above the pounding of Izuku’s heart. “You lied to me?”
“I lied to you,” Kacchan whispers. Slowly, he sinks until he’s kneeling at Izuku’s feet. A proud lord of Hell looking desperate and young. “I’m sorry, Deku. It wasn’t worth it.”
Izuku says nothing. Feels nothing, world full of white noise and not much else. Kacchan reached up to take his hand but seems to think the better of it. He’s tearing up too although he seems to be fighting it. “I can make it better, Deku,” he says, voice thick. “I thought at first I could make you happy here but you deserve better than Hell. Than me. I found a way to break the contract. I can give you your soul back and send you home. You’ll have lost a year but the rest of it will go just like it’s supposed to.”
Izuku tries to focus. “You said our bond was eternal.”
“It is. It’s supposed to be but I spoke to Aizawa and I can make it void if I just do some things for Hell. Everything will go back to normal, Deku. I just wanted a little more time before I let you go but if – if you want to leave now that’s okay.”
“What do you have to do?”
“What?”
“You said you had to do something for Hell,” Izuku says haltingly. His insides feel like an exposed nerve, raw and buzzing with shock and hurt. A soulmate. All that time he spent on Earth believing he was unlovable but there was never really anything wrong with him. “Earlier you said you’d lose everything. What do you have to do to send me back, Kacchan?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Tell me.”
“I’d give up my magic,” Kacchan says and finally, finally looks down. He’s crumpled, washed-out and ashamed. “It’s the closest thing a demon has to a soul. I’d replace what I took from you, that’s all.”
Izuku’s face is wet. He wipes a tear off, barely feeling his own hand against his cheek. “Would it kill you?”
“No. It would just change things.”
“How?”
“I’d lose my rank. I suppose I’d become a servant and move into someone else’s estate.”
“Would I see you again?”
“No. I wouldn’t have enough power left over to get to earth even if you wanted me to.”
The air feels cold. Izuku’s head throbs the way it always does when he cries, and the late autumn sun casts pretty shadows on the expanse of the white marble floor. Kacchan stays at his feet. Head bowed and wings drooping like he’s waiting for an executioner, tiny salty tears dripping onto his hands in a halting, shameful stream.
Izuku swallows the lump in his throat. “I’m not going.”
Dust motes float in the air. The clock on the mantelpiece quietly says tick tock. Kacchan looks up but doesn’t meet Izuku’s eye, brows furrowed like he’s not sure what he heard. “What?”
Izuku scrubs at his face. “You keep deciding things for me. You tricked me here and now you’re telling me I have to go back. I don’t want to.”
“But – but your soulmate,” Kacchan says haltingly. His face is flushed and wet. “He’s waiting for you. You’ll have fame and riches and love, you just have to give it time.”
“No. No. I don’t care about money and anyway you’re richer than anyone has any right to be. Who cares about fame. And I’m – I’m sure whoever’s up there is nice enough but he’s not you.”
“Yes, Deku, that’s the point.” Swallowing, Kacchan shuffles closer on his knees. “Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you? We can put everything back the way it should be.”
Izuku shakes his head. He reaches out half on autopilot to put his hands in Kacchan’s hair, smoothing it away from his forehead and absently scratching behind his horns just the way he likes. Kacchan catches his hands and holds them to his chest like they’re something precious. “I should be with you, you jerk,” Izuku says quietly. “You can’t bring me here and pamper me and make me fall in love with you and show me dragons and magic and then tell me I have to go back to earth. I’m not doing it. You’ll have to drag me kicking and screaming because I’m not leaving you.”
Slowly, the sun sets. Kacchan wobbles to his feet, expression open and raw and uncomprehending but the tears start to slow. He sniffles once, still holding Izuku’s hands captive. “I lied to you. I trapped you.”
“Yes, and that was awful of you. But you were going to give up all your magic for me, weren’t you, Kacchan?”
“Yes, but –”
“You’ve done a lot for me,” Izuku says, still teary-eyed. “Your magic’s everything to you. I know it is. But you were just going to give it away for my sake and I – I don’t think I can be angry at you, Kacchan, even if you think I should. I wouldn’t have believed you if you’d told me you loved me this time last year but now I think I’d be stupid not to see it.”
“I’d die for you, Deku,” he murmurs. “In a heartbeat. If you only asked.”
“But I don’t want you to give up anything for me, Kacchan. I don’t want to leave you. I like it here. I love you. I have friends and I have Toothless and do you know what it’s going to be like? To go back to where everyone hates me, to suffer through being alone for years until someone finds me? And even after he does, even if he’s kind and he loves me I’m still going to be thinking of you.”
“I –”
“And then I’ll die. I’ll die at eighty thinking this life was nice but I could have lived forever with you.”
Kacchan’s face crumples. Even his horns seem to droop. He looks so sad and confused that Izuku steps forward to hug him without even needing to think. “Deku, I – I don’t understand.”
“You don’t have to. You just have to listen.” He hiccups. His chest hearts, full of hurt that wants to come out but he holds it back because he needs to be heard. He tucks his head under Kacchan’s chin. Breathes him in, relaxing only when cautious arms wrap around him and hold him tight. “I don’t care what you did. It worked out perfect, didn’t it? I just want to be with you, Kacchan, please. Don’t send me away. People always leave me. My mom left me. My dad, even before I was born. I was the last to be picked for anything in school, sometimes my aunt left me after class for hours because she’d forget I existed but you love me and I love you back and I just – I don’t want to be left behind anymore, Kacchan. Please don’t leave me too.”
“I don’t want to leave you,” Kacchan says hoarsely. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I’m not trying to. I’m just trying to make you happy.”
“Then listen to me. I already have what I want. Let me stay.”
Cicadas start their noise outside. The sky slowly goes dim; the sun won’t disappear but for now its light is gentle, a barely-there touch against dry soil that, against all odds, still holds life. Kacchan kisses him. Izuku feels his hands shake in Izuku’s. He squeezes once; a reassurance that he’s real and he’s not going anywhere just yet. Kacchan’s eyes are red-rimmed and swollen. Guilty and vulnerable but cautiously hopeful that the way things are now is okay.
The door rattles. It’s Toothless, back from her little hunt and chirping to be let in. Izuku smiles. Wipes a tear of Kacchan’s face and dredges up a smile just for him. “We probably have a lot to talk about,” he croaks. “But I think we’ve got time.”
Kacchan nods. Still crying but now alive and fiery. Full of the spirit Izuku loves. “We do,” he says, voice scratchy strong. “For as long as I live, Deku, I’m yours.”
“Thank you for seeing me.”
Aizawa sips his coffee. He’s even more tired than usual, hair unkempt and eye bags deep and purple. “Yes, you’re welcome. About you giving up your magic. It’s a big sacrifice so I thought maybe you’d like to hold off in case there’s another way to –”
“He’s not going.”
“What?”
Katsuki has the decency to look sheepish. “I told the truth. All of it. He forgave me and told me pretty clearly he doesn’t want to leave. He likes being here with me.”
Aizawa sighs. His heavy magic is suffocating but Katsuki doesn’t try to fight back. The big window backlights the office and makes it look warmer and nicer than he remembers. “That’s good. He’s happy to become one of us.”
“Yes. But, uhm. That’s not why I came.”
He fidgets. Aizawa tilts his head, antlers casting odd shadows on his desk. “What do you need?”
“I – before that. Can I ask a question? Why did you never want to promote me?”
“Shall I be frank?”
“Always.”
“You’re immature.” He takes another sip of coffee. It’s black as tar and smells strong enough to melt metal. “You’re strong and clever, yes, but you have no empathy. I didn’t want you to turn into a tyrant.”
Katsuki winces. Part of him wants to argue but he can, unfortunately, see what Aizawa means. “Okay, fair.”
“Or you had no empathy, I suppose. Maybe your Midoriya helped out with that.”
“I guess it doesn’t matter. I came here to withdraw my application.”
Aizawa hums. He leans back in his chair, hands steepled before him thoughtfully. “Why?”
“I thought of something else you can do for me. There’s one thing I took from Deku that he can’t get back. He can’t see his mother. I want to trade my favour in. Can you get him to Paradise?”
“Interesting.” The clock chimes. It doesn’t actually have hands, no doubt tracking something only Aizawa understands. “He can’t enter, not without his soul, but perhaps there’s a way to set up communication.”
“So you’ll do it?”
“I’ll work on it. It might require some magic from you, I don’t know yet how this’ll go.”
“I’ll do it,” Katsuki says without hesitation. “Take it permanently, I don’t care. As long as he can reach her.”
“Fine. I take this to mean you’re no longer interested in working for the upper strata of Hell?”
Katsuki shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. You can call me if you need me, but right now I think I have everything I need.”
“Say, what kind of magic do you think I’ll be able to do?”
Kacchan shrugs. He reaches out to touch Izuku’s wings, now soft forest green with the vaguest hints of brown. They’re not as dark as Kacchan’s but Izuku likes them. They remind him of deep summer and sunlit walks in the park, the kind of evergreen trees that stay the same rain or shine. The pastel’s all gone. A sign of impending power, Kacchan says, although they haven’t quite figured out what kind.
The breeze ruffles them. Izuku stretches his wings to their full length to catch the best of it. They chose a windy day to do this, bright red sunshine and not a cloud in the sky. The rooftop’s pleasantly hot. The garden looks smaller from up here, flowers pretty splotches against the dark grass.
“I think it’ll be lightning,” Izuku says decisively. A leaf floats past in the wind. “Or super strength. Or those black whippy things Venom has, just not as sticky.”
Toothless tries to climb up Kacchan’s ear. Kacchan suffers through this patiently, adjusting Izuku’s stance and gently nudging his ankles apart. “Whatever it I I’m sure you’ll enjoy it. Maybe you’ll earn a rank yourself.”
Izuku hums. Demon politics are interesting but they seem a bit stuffier than he want to deal with. He’d much rather goof around and hang out with his friends and with Kacchan. He leans up for a kiss. Kacchan obliges immediately, pressing kisses all over his face until Izuku laughs and squirms away. “Am I ready?”
Kacchan takes a step back. “I dunno, Deku. You tell me. Is the air calling to you? Will you answer?”
Izuku looks up. The sky’s red and endless, bigger than anything he could possibly know. That’s okay, though. It just means there’s a lot to explore, and he has all the time in the world to learn. He’ll be fine. He has these wings for a reason and Kacchan’s waiting right here to catch him if he falls. He steps onto the ledge. The brick pushes back against the soles of his feet as if to say go on, you don’t need us.
He shuts his eyes. Feeling youthful and free, Izuku beats his wings and takes flight.