Chapter Text
Hot summer streets
And the pavements are burning
I sit around
I wake up. I sit on the edge of my bed and think. Today is THE day, today justice will be served. Everything hurts. Yesterday I had my monthly murder attempt. It's been like that since his arrest. I have a sore body but it doesn't matter, I take a long bath and get ready. I get out of my loft and start walking towards the courthouse. Everyone looks at me while I walk through the street. It makes sense since today is my brother's trial. God, I can't believe that the sweet boy I called brother turned into this mass murderer psychopath.
Trying to smile
But the air is so heavy and dry
I keep walking. You can feel the hatred in the air. I try to smile but everyone can see it's fake. I wish I could just disappear. Yet instead of disappearing I keep walking, I put on a mask, I act as if everything was fine. I'm fine. I arrive to court. It's summer and my pale skin is turning red, it burns, it hurts but it's okay. I deserve the pain, I am worthless, I know I could have stoped Lex, I should have saved him. I failed him.
It's a cruel, cruel summer
Leaving me here on my own
The court house is crowded. Full of reporters covering the story. My mother gazes disappointedly at me, she knows I am testifying against Lex, she knows he kidnapped me, she knows he has tried to kill me…but that doesn't matter. She gazes at me and I suddenly feel small, weak and helpless. I know she hates me, she hates that golden boy wasn't so golden. She despises me. She hates that Lex is going to jail and I get to run the company, because at the end of the day I am just the poor little orphan that Lionel decided to keep... like a souvenir. It's depressing to think that now I have no-one, father is dead, mother has always disliked me, and well... Lex is a madman that wants me dead. I'm not just lonely, I am truly alone.
It's a cruel, cruel summer
Now you're gone
"One disagreement over his obsession and he shut me up, threw me out of the company and himself into his crusade, he killed people"
The trial ends sooner that expected. Lex poisoned almost everyone in court room and was convicted to 31 life sentences…or maybe they were 32. That's it, it's the end. I pull myself together and leave the court Reporters are waiting outside and I panic, what shall I do? Well I ran, I ran as fast and as far as my legs would take me.
The city is crowded
My friends are away
And I am on my own
I get to this beautiful park and I sit on a bench far away from the other people who are there. I sit and I finally let the tears fall, I am vulnerable and don't care.
I can't handle this pressure, things are supposed to be easy when you are a Luthor. I need to put myself first, I need to leave Metropolis and pretend there is no yesterday and no tomorrow. I need to leave Jack and Andy. I have to rebrand the Luthor name. I have to fix this. I get up and start walking again.
It's too hot to handle
So I get up and go
I arrive to my apartment and break again. My whole world just crashed and burned for the second time in my life and for the second time I just stood there and watched... No, that's not accurate because this time I added gasoline to the fire.
After I arrived home...no, let me rephrase that, after all I have no home, I just don’t belong. So, after I arrived to my loft I poured myself a big and full glass of scotch. I feel like drinking to forget, like drinking until I feel numb. I wonder when will enough be enough, because I feel empty.
I head to my balcony and scream, and with that scream I finally let go, I let go of the pain, I let go of my mother's opinion, I let go of my trauma but most importantly I let go of my anger. The only thing I keep is my self-loath for it’s the only thing I can’t let go of. Suddenly black spots start filling my vision and I just want fall into it, I know I deserve it, I know I belong in the darkness.
It's a cruel, cruel summer
Leaving me here on my own
The next morning I wake up in a hospital bed. I don't understand how I even got here. The door opens and I get an idea of what happened. God, how was I so stupid?
-Ms. Luthor, you are awake.-the hero looks surprised to see me
-Yeah, looks like I am. What happened? What am I doing here?.- Dear god I know what I am doing here but I refuse to accept it.
- Well...- he touches the back of his neck nervously-. Yesterday I heard you scream and thought something was wrong and when I arrived you where passed out so I brought you to the hospital. The doctor said that you were exhausted, that you had gone through so much stress that your body just shut down. He also said that you should take better care of yourself… you know…emm… like sleeping and eating. He said had I arrived later your life could have been truly endangered.
- Well thanks for saving my life Mr. Kent.- he looks like he has seen I ghost, I guess he thought I didn't knew his "secret identity".
- Y-y-you know...- he starts panicking.
-Of course I know, Lex was crazy but not stupid, he told me.- I say as if it were obvious.
- Have you...- I cut him short.
-No I haven't told anyone and I don't plan on doing it, it's your secret to tell, not mine.
- Thank you, Lena
- Yeah it's nothing really...changing the subject, when will I be discharged?
-I the tests come clear I guess, later today or maybe tomorrow.
- Great.
It's a cruel, cruel summer
Leaving me here on my own
I get discharged the same day, and after that I start packing. I am leaving this whole mess behind and starting fresh on National City.
Jack wasn't happy about me moving so we broke up. Now nothing and no-one is holding me back.
I get to the airport and hop in my private jet. I am in my way to start a new life.
It's a cruel, cruel summer
Leaving me here on my own