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i stay up all night, tell myself i’m all right

Chapter 5: Hawk

Summary:

He doesn’t know what it is, but something inside of Hawk lets Sam do all this stuff for him. He would’ve felt too embarrassed if he had asked anyone else to help him wash his hair or wash his face. He wouldn’t even have asked Moon to do it, and they dated for a while. So why is it different with Sam?

Notes:

hey guys! here’s another chapter written by yours truly, (curledintoaball)

i hope you guys like it!

also, THREE DAYS LEFT!!

let me know what you think! :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Hawk tries to make his way down the stairs by himself, but he feels Sam’s hand hovering near the small of his back with each step. He doesn’t mind though; the extra support is appreciated.

He doesn’t know what it is, but something inside of Hawk lets Sam do all this stuff for him. He would’ve felt too embarrassed if he had asked anyone else to help him wash his hair or wash his face. He wouldn’t even have asked Moon to do it, and they dated for a while. So why is it different with Sam?

Not letting his mind go anywhere near that floodgate of thoughts, Hawk concentrates on making his way to the dining room table with Sam beside him. He briefly remembers stopping there, taking in his surroundings and realizing that he was fighting on the wrong team the whole time. That was the turning point for Hawk—watching his friends get hurt.

He settles into a seat around the table, clutching his stomach and wondering, distantly, if this pain will ever go away. Hawk knows he doesn’t deserve for it to go away; every single hurt he feels is almost like karma for the person he is—was.

Sam makes her way around the kitchen, looking into the cupboards high and low, but Hawk just focuses on the space where he saved Demetri from Rickenburger. He had one thought while watching that scene in front of him: save his best friend. Nothing else.

A glass of water and two pills are placed in front of him before Sam settles herself in the seat next to his, adjusting the chair slightly so it’s facing him. “These will help ease the pain,” she says, moving the objects closer to him.

Hawk picks the pills up, examining them closer, though he can’t tell what they are. “What are these?” he asks, his voice croaky as he looks from Sam to the pills and back again.

“Tylenol.” She pushes the glass of water closer to him. “They’re the strong ones my dad likes to buy. Why?”

“I’m allergic to Aspirin,” is all he says before he downs both pills at once and chugs half the water in one go.

“Really?” Sam looks genuinely interested as she leans her chin against her knuckles. “What would happen if you took some Aspirin?”

Hawk drinks the rest of the water. “My face and throat would swell up and I would choke to death.”

Sam opens her mouth, but doesn’t have time to respond as the front door opens and her parents walk in, announcing their presence. Hawk’s heart hammers in his chest as his mind works through a million different ways on how he will tell her parents that he’s here late at night, looking broken.

It takes everything inside of Hawk to stand up, his legs suddenly feeling like Jell-O. His upper body feels twice its normal weight, from both what he’s been through and also from seeing one of his two senseis and Sam’s mother.

Hawk had seen Sensei LaRusso hours before he was jumped, but suddenly it feels like a lifetime has gone past since then.

He’s scared, and he has no idea why.

Sam rushes forward and meets her parents at the front door, Hawk trailing slowly behind her. “Hey, guys, um…” she starts, though her voice trails off as the two adults take notice of the boy standing behind her.

“Eli?” her dad says, eyebrows furrowing slowly. Hawk gauges his expression, and even though Daniel LaRusso is very good at hiding his anger, he cannot detect anything of the sort in his face.

“Hi, Mr. LaRusso. Mrs. LaRusso,” he chokes out, hating the sound of his voice, how broken it is.

“What are you…?” Daniel’s voice stops short when he takes full notice of the sight of his bruised face. Every instinct inside Hawk’s body screams for him to hide, but he doesn’t. “Oh my God— what happened?”

His throat seizes up and he tries not to picture what happened back in the dark alley, but it’s getting more and more difficult with three pairs of eyes on him, waiting for his reply.

He can’t seem to speak, but he does try. “I… I was…” Hawk swallows, but it doesn’t work. “I…”

He is shocked when a hand touches his arm, and Hawk looks down to see Sam’s fingers splayed across his forearm. His heart instantly slows, but it speeds up at the same time.

Her eyes, so blue in the light, hold so much in them that Hawk immediately feels better by looking into them.

It’s okay, Sam mouths and for a moment, Hawk almost believes it. She turns to face her parents again, dropping her hand back to her side. Hawk tries to ignore how his skin feels cold without her touch. “Dad, could I speak with you quickly?”

And with that, they head toward the front door again, far enough away so he can’t hear them. But even if he wanted to eavesdrop he can’t, because Amanda LaRusso puts her hand on his shoulder and steers him back toward the kitchen.

Her eyes are kind when she sits across from him on the table. “Did you want me to call your parents for you, Eli?”

The question is so simple and very kind, but it makes Hawk feel ten years younger. “Thank you,” he murmurs, his throat still sore from hours before, “but my parents are away for the weekend. I don’t want to worry them.”

“I understand, I really do—but Eli, your parents need to know at some point.” Her eyes turn scolding only slightly—Hawk guesses that the mother side of her is coming out. “They need to make sure that you’re okay.”

Even if Hawk tells his parents about what Cobra Kai did, they wouldn’t care. Well, maybe they would care, but they wouldn’t cut their trip short just to fly back and make sure he’s okay. Since they hardly spend time with him—too busy with work or relative stuff—then Hawk could be convinced that they hate him, maybe just a little. He wouldn’t blame them.

So instead of arguing with her, Hawk gives a small smile and says, “I’ll tell them soon. I’ll make sure of it.” He’s lying, but he doesn’t tell her that. Hawk isn’t going to tell his parents because they will blame him for this attack. They would probably think he provoked the attackers or something.

Amanda smiles, pressing her hand against his once before meeting Daniel and Sam halfway to the kitchen. Hawk catches up with them, watching as the two adults exchange a look with each other before Daniel lands his eyes on him.

Taking a step forward, Daniel wraps his arm gently around Hawk’s shoulders before pulling him toward their home dojo. “Come on,” he says. “I’ve got something that will really help those shiners.”

Feeling embarrassed that the bruises are the only things that they seem to take notice of, Hawk ducks his head and fights away the red creeping up his neck.

Sam grabs his hand when they pass each other, and Hawk catches her eye. A thousand words seem to pass between them. There’s something lurking behind her eyes, an emotion Hawk cannot decipher. He wishes he could see deeper.

When their hands separate, it feels like he leaves a piece of himself behind.

———

The medicine in these pungent rags across his body is working faster than the beat of his heart.

It feels good to lay his head down again, after many hours of having to keep it up while he spoke with Sam or cleaned himself up. He’s so tired he feels like he could sleep for days, but Sensei LaRusso’s company makes Hawk want to stay awake. At least for a little while longer.

The man beside him settles himself into a stool beside the pop-up bed he pushed into the corner of the dojo, sighing as he leans his forearms against his knees. “I see that Sam found you some clean clothes to wear.”

“Oh.” He tries to look down at the hoodie folded at the end of the bed, but he can’t see it. “I’m sorry, Sensei. Mine… mine weren’t suitable to wear anymore.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry, okay? There’s nothing to be sorry about.” Daniel smiles briefly at the sweatshirt sitting near his legs before meeting his eyes again, his brown ones suddenly turning serious, understanding. “Why don’t you tell me what happened, Eli?”

He normally hates people calling him by his real name, but the way Daniel says it, like Hawk never went by a nickname before, makes him want to hear it again and again.

Hawk sighs, resting his neck as he looks up at the ceiling. His steely resolve crumbles, so many thoughts and memories ready to spill from his mouth, but Hawk is careful with what he says. “I was attacked by Cobra Kai,” he finally says, his voice echoing slightly in the silence of the dojo. “At least, I’m pretty sure it was.”

“What makes you say that?”

Laughter from the alleyway comes back to him then, laughter that he’s almost positive he heard when he was in the Cobra Kai dojo. One voice was higher than the others, only slightly, but he recognized Tory’s laughter. She was among them.

Hawk blinks and he’s back in the dojo. He breathes in shallow breaths, trying everything in his power to fight away the memories. “I recognized their voices,” he mumbles, hoping that if he says it quietly enough, it might not be true.

“And why do you think they attacked you?” Daniel shuffles slightly closer, just about coming into Hawk’s line of vision.

He pokes gently at the sodden material laying across his bare chest and stomach. “Because I betrayed them.” The words lay stagnant in the air for several moments before he continues. “Cobra Kai are very loyal to each other. They don’t take betrayal lightly.”

A few beats pass where no one says anything, and Hawk swears that he almost chokes on it. Until, the man beside him speaks up again.

“Eli.” Daniel’s voice makes him turn to look at him. “What you did by joining Miyagi Fang does not justify them attacking you. Do you understand?”

Hawk manages a small nod.

“What Kreese and Silver are teaching those kids is like poison to the mind. I just pray that one day they are able to see that.” Daniel presses his hand to his arm, his touch so reassuring that it makes his throat swell up. “But you did a very brave thing leaving Cobra Kai. Those two men really burrow their way into someone’s head and they don’t realize it sometimes until it’s too late.” He laughs without mirth. “I should know.”

That’s right. Hawk remembers hearing a story once about how Daniel joined Cobra Kai after a fight he had with Mr. Miyagi. He guesses that anyone—even Daniel LaRusso—can be swayed by Cobra Kai.

But despite what he is telling him, Hawk still feels like he deserves this. He deserved being attacked. It’s what he gets for being a traitor. He can’t tell Sensei LaRusso this though.

“Thank you, Sensei,” he says instead, meeting his eyes once more, “for doing this. Sam… she’s been an amazing help. I don’t know where I would be if it weren’t for her.”

“Yeah.” Daniel gives him a strange but happy smile. “Samantha is good like that.”

Hawk smiles back. Sam’s blue eyes and beautiful smile fill his head, but Hawk blinks it away quickly.

Daniel checks under the material against his skin and peers down at them for several seconds. “Okay, it looks like the medicine is doing its job. The cuts and bruises are reducing, but I still can’t tell the condition of your bones.” He looks at him then, eyes serious. “We need to take you to the hospital for that.”

He shakes his head. “Please, Sensei, don’t. The doctors will call my parents, and I… I don’t want them to worry.” He’s said this so many times that he swears it’s lost its meaning now. “Please.”

Daniel presses his hand against his bare shoulder as he stands. “Let me have a word with Amanda, okay? Just sit tight for now.”

When he leaves it feels like the world turns silent. All he can hear is the steady beat of his heart, his slightly irregular breathing—all sounds from him, not around him. It makes his heart beat too furiously in his chest. All he can picture is any one of the Cobra Kais breaking into the dojo, finding him on this bed—broken and defeated—before they finish him off for good.

If he closes his eyes it’s worse, so he stares at the ceiling and counts the seconds ticking by, in a vain attempt to distract his mind.

That is until he hears a soft pattering of feet against the floor.

“Hey.”

Her voice jolts him back to reality and he sits up to see her better, but a pain explodes in his abdomen. His heart calms gradually as Hawk carefully props himself up on an elbow and catches Sam standing near the entrance to the dojo, her arms folded into the baggy sweatshirt she’s wearing.

“Hey,” he says back, his senses on high alert as she makes her way toward him. Hawk forces his eyes to stay on hers instead of the bare skin of her legs in those shorts she’s wearing.

When Sam takes a seat where her dad was, she smiles briefly at his skin as she carefully lifts one of the rags and checks on his injuries. “Looks like Dad took my advice,” is all she says.

Hawk tries to meet her eyes, but she runs her finger once against a cut on his side, feather-light but there. Hawk tries to ignore her touch, even though it sends an electric bolt of energy through him.

“What do you mean?” he says to distract himself, though it doesn’t seem to work; her touch is too warm on his skin.

“He was going to take you to the hospital, but I must’ve convinced him to treat you here.” Sam meets his eyes then, the blue dark in this light. “I know you didn’t want to go.”

Everything—every thought and every feeling—inside of him wants to grab hold of Sam’s hand which is resting just next to his side on the bed, fingers interlocked. But a voice inside his head makes him keep his hands to himself. Hawk doesn’t know where they stand now. What are Sam and Hawk to each other now, after everything?

“Thank you, Sam,” he says, and she smiles at him before, without hesitation, she brushes a lock of his hair away from his eyes. He realizes then that Sam has never seen Hawk without his mohawk before. He wonders what she thinks of his natural hair.

Hawk closes his eyes against her touch, wishing that it would linger. Everything seems to calm and settle inside of him when Sam comforts him. He’s scared of the realization.

“I suggested to my mom to let you stay the night,” Sam suddenly says, and it takes a few seconds for him to realize what she said.

“No, Sam,” he says, shaking his head as much as he can with the wet bandage wrapped around it. “You and your parents have done enough for me already. I really don’t want to impose.”

“It’s not an imposition.” Sam’s voice and argument are taking no prisoners. “I don’t want you spending the night alone in your house. Not after tonight.” Something flashes in her eyes but Hawk doesn’t get to see it as she leans forward, closer to him.

He does something stupid then, something his mind is screaming at him not to do, but his heart is too powerful right now. Hawk raises his hand and brushes Sam’s hair away from her eyes, curling it behind her ear. She doesn’t speak and neither does he as his fingers—shaking only slightly—trail across her jaw slowly before he drops his hand back to his side.

Her eyes search around his face for several seconds as her hand inches closer and closer to his. For a moment he thinks she’s going to take it, to lace their fingers together—

But her parents walk into the room, announcing their presence, and Sam springs backward so fast it’s a miracle she doesn’t fall off the stool.

Hawk slowly sits up and looks to the two adults coming closer to him, standing side by side. He can’t really read the expressions on their faces, but the little smile on Amanda’s lips must mean something good.

But it’s Daniel who speaks up.

“So, Eli,” he says slowly, his smile growing wider. “How about we get you settled into the guest bedroom?”

Notes:

thanks for reading! comments and kudos are always appreciated. come and scream with us about this ship on instagram: @curledintoaball @schplove02

Notes:

thanks for reading! comments and kudos are always appreciated. come and scream with us on instagram: @curledintoaball_ @schplove02