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Max had abruptly left. One day he was there and the next he was gone.
Aki didn’t notice at first. He and Audrey had fallen back into this impenetrable bubble. They’d broken their cycle of monotony (thanks to Max) and it had felt enough. They’d both put their feet into the fire and enjoyed the intense painful pleasure lick at their skin. And then just as quickly retreated together, in unison like they had been for much of their life.
Sometimes he felt physically linked with Audrey, not remembering clearly a time when they weren’t each other’s person. And just like he couldn’t quite remember how they originally became this unit, he similarly couldn’t pin down the time when they broke away from each other. Unreturned texts, cancelled plans, until all of a sudden they were in a completely new place. Still friends but at a distance.
If he let himself, he felt the edge of a hard pain when he saw how their relationship had changed. But he knew in his gut it was what they both needed and wanted, at least right now.
And all of a sudden a whole new world opened up to him. Word of his newly categorised sexuality had spread fast. He hadn’t noticed at first. It was Obie who one day looked at him with a quizzical look on his face and said “You’re getting a lot of attention Ak .”
And then he saw it. Kids at school he’d never spoken to before watching him. Some quickly glancing away, others holding his gaze more boldly, til he looked away first, heat creeping up his neck.
It wasn’t long before he was seeing new people. If anything he was shocked by the easiness of it all. Nights out with a newly single Obie, nights in watching movies. Deep kisses, searching hands, Exploring bodies with his tongue and hands. Quiet whimpers and soft moans falling from his lips. Ecstasy. A hunger for new experiences. A new world welcoming him in.
Then one morning in bed woken by his mum’s gentle knock and instruction to get ready for school, his eyes fell on his skateboard propped up in the corner of his room and he realised he hadn’t touched it in months. Weird. He’d never gone this long without his board and as he sat up, his shoulders hunched over, his palms rubbing his eyes awake, a flash of memory appeared in his mind.
A boy he hadn’t thought about properly in months. Max in the park by their school, trying out his skateboard, his hands grabbing at Aki’s shoulders. His green eyes glinting in the sunlight, his laugh bursting out into the air as he struggled to keep his balance on the board.
As Aki sat on his bed, he could hear Max’s laugh as if he was in the room with him. He hadn’t seen Max since his abrupt departure when school broke for the summer holidays. And for the first time since he left, Aki felt real pangs of missing his friend and one time lover.
He picked up his phone and went into his messages. Nothing from Max all summer. A quick glance on Instagram he saw max wasn’t posting on there either. With that thought he started getting ready to head to school. This time taking his skateboard before heading out the door.
.....
He came to a sudden stop by the school’s front steps. Tucking his board under his arm he headed towards their group’s usual table - empty, not unusual for his fashionably late friends. He dug out his headphones from his backpack and hit shuffle. And just as the sound of James Blake’s Retrogade flooded his ears, he felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up into those green eyes he knew so well.