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“Querida Mia…”
Gomez kissed up the length of his wife's arm. Pausing briefly to graze the apples of her cheeks, he pressed a gentle kiss on her lips. “Happy anniversary.”
Morticia yawned, stretching to link her fingers around the back of his neck. “Good morning, darling,” she whispered against his lips. “Happy anniversary.”
He beamed. “Sorry I woke you. Today’s an exciting day, isn’t it?”
“It is.”
“The best day!”
Morticia shrieked when Gomez abruptly leaped off the bed and scooped her up in his arms. At his request to close her eyes, she buried her face into his neck as he carried her out onto the balcony.
“Surprise!”
Decapitated roses lay discarded on the ground leading to a small table. On it sat a breakfast for two along with the morning paper and a large vase of stems. Gomez sat her on her wicker chair and moved to the other seat.
Morticia dragged her finger along the stems, delighted at the way the thorns pricked her. “Bubbeleh, you spoil me. And look,” she pointed at the dark grey clouds accumulating in the sky. “The perfect weather for an outside meal. How did you know?”
“Call me Weatherman Addams!”
Gomez was positively excited today, more so than usual. But his Morticia was not a morning person, so he tried to keep himself quiet while she settled. However, after a good five minutes of stealing glances and nipping at her fingers while she fed him, he was ready to burst.
“Cara Mia?”
“Darling?” She replied behind the newspaper.
“The day is yours, my dear. How shall we celebrate? A walk through the cemetery? A swim in the swamp? A repeat of last year’s extravaganza?”
Morticia smirked at the last option, noting the way his eyes glazed slightly. “All wonderful ideas, but perhaps later.” She bit her lip to keep from laughing at his disappointment. “Darling, look. The zoo’s having an exhibit today called The King of the Jungle.”
Gomez arched a brow at the picture beside the article. “Cats, huh? I’d like to see them go up against my great Uncle Kong. Hell, even Mama’s got a chance with one in a ring.”
“Yes, but there’s something to be said about their nature,” she sighed, reaching for his hand. “Their courage. Their instinctual need to protect. The incest.”
“Very true, my dear. They aren’t called man-eaters for nothing.”
“Oh darling, can we go?”
Gomez smiled. “For you? Of course.”
Gomez couldn’t help but feel somewhat disappointed by today's events. He had so many surprises planned, including a stroll through the sanctuary, but those zookeepers shut that down before he could even finish his pitch. Hell, they barely got away with bringing a camera onto the overcrowded golf cart they were forced to ride in.
He couldn’t believe it!
But he wouldn't let a mishap like that sour his mood. Especially not when his wife looked so content.
She sat next to him, eyes wide with glee, listening to a worker give last-minute instructions just as they stopped in front of the lion’s den. His fingers slid down to squeeze her thigh. She tipped her head back, and he kissed her cheek in return.
“Excited?”
“Extremely.” She grabbed his hand, nails digging in uncomfortably. “Imagine if we get to see them feeding. Biting and ravaging each other for a slab of meat.”
Gomez groaned, tightening his grip on her thigh. “Wouldn’t we be lucky,” he whispered. “The blood..”
“The pus,” she sighed, leaning in closer. Her heart thrummed with want as his gaze darkened.
“The cartilage.”
Their lips drew closer.
“Mr and Mrs Addams!”
They pulled apart, startled by the interruption. A small crowd of people glared at them over shoulders and behind pamphlets.
“I’ve told you this already,” said the zookeeper behind clenched teeth. “No gross public displays of affection. Please.”
Morticia felt another twitch of annoyance at that statement. How could they forbid her from displaying her love for her husband? And on their anniversary, no less. But Gomez, always the charmer, replied for her. "Sorry about that, old man,” he chuckled, drawing her nearer. “You know how it is on your anniversary.”
The worker sighed. “Yes, you’ve mentioned that already. Three times. Now please exit the vehicle and don’t forget your equipment.”
Gomez snickered when the worker's back was turned, drawing the faintest of smiles from her. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.”
“It must be this heat,” she replied, opening her parasol. “The sun does hideous things to one’s soul if you let it.”
“Your camera, sir,” said a breathless employee, setting a large suitcase on the ground.
“Ah, thank you, my good man!” Gomez led her off the cart before pulling out a stack of hundreds and smacking it in the worker’s sweaty palm. “Keep the change.” He waved a dismissive hand.
“Cara Mia?”
Gomez took her hand lightly and led her to a tall fence overlooking the enclosure. Morticia was grateful that so many people moved to let them pass. Now, if only she’d remembered to pack extra parasols. The heat was beginning to get to everyone judging by their sour expressions.
“Look at that!” Gomez pointed at a rock at the center of the enclosure. On it sat two adult lions. One laid casually, chin up, letting the breeze flow through his thick mane, the other one licking himself.
“Magnificent.” She laid a hand to her chest. “Gomez, look over there.”
Beyond the rock, nearly obscured by tall grass, was a lioness standing guard over her cubs, no older than a few months, as they played roughly in the mud. A male adolescent deciding to approach wisely retreated at the sound of her warning growl.
Morticia was transfixed.
“She reminds me of someone,” he whispered in her ear.
She glanced at him, trying desperately to mask the fluttering in her chest.
“Potentially,” he added with a kiss.
“Come on, let’s get some pictures.”
Setting up the camera was more difficult than Gomez anticipated, but he wouldn’t replace it for the world. It seemed to impress the locals, at least. They couldn’t stop taking pictures of him. Not that he minded, of course.
“Bad news, Tish,” he sighed. “I messed up and only packed one film.”
“One roll?”
“No. Just one film. So I’m thinking I can get one really good picture of you and run home to develop it?”
Morticia palmed her necklace in slight disappointment. “Alright, dear. But I want it to be of you. Stand in front of the fence and show me your more masculine side.”
Gomez grinned. “I’ll do you one better!”
With a kiss to her knuckles, he swiftly climbed the fence until he reached the very top. Morticia, grateful to rest the heavy parasol down, retreated underneath the heavy black cover set up on the camera.
“Is this good?” he hollered.
A few of the lions wandered curiously over to their area. Morticia smiled. It was perfect.
“Ok, Darling. Big grimace on three. One, two-”
“Oh God, what is he doing!”
A loud gasp followed by screams rippled through the nearby crowd. Hordes of people gathered in front of her, rudely blocking her shot. Agitation grew quickly amongst the bystanders, many murmuring to themselves, ‘Is he going to jump?’
Morticia pursed her lips at the insinuation. While an ending most fitting for an Addams, she doubted he’d take his own life. At least, not without her. In any case, the moment was ruined. Morticia peaked out from under the black cover, waving her hands to get his attention.
“Perhaps you should get down, darling.” But he couldn’t hear her.
If only she’d brought her megaphone.
“Sir, please don’t do this!” one woman shrieked. “Think about the children!”
“Children? Sure. Send them up!” he called. “We’ll make it a group shot!”
Staff began trying to back the rowdy crowd away from the fence. Morticia grew concerned, especially at overhearing talks of bringing in the fire department. Surely Gomez would notice the drama and scale back down, but he looked content up there, swinging his legs as if still waiting for his picture to be taken. But besides that, as she was beginning to note, it was getting windy. If he wouldn’t come down himself, she’d just have to coax him.
“Let’s go home, Mon Cher!”
“Tish! Was that French?”
“Oui.”
“Don’t-Oh!”
Morticia watched in abject horror as Gomez slipped, tumbling into the enclosure onto an extremely well-placed bush. The lions yelped in surprise, scurrying away into the safety of the trees.
All except one.
Morticia clawed her way over to the fence. “Mon amour, are you okay?”
Gomez groaned, rolling off the bush to the dirt ground. “I love it when you tease.”
Relief flooded her veins at seeing him jump back up as good as ever. But before she could even think to breathe, a lion cub pounced on Gomez from behind and sank their teeth into his calf.
Gomez winced. “Feisty little one, aren’t you?” He picked the cub up by their scruff, arms outstretched to avoid their swiping claws. “Hey, Tish. I think he likes me.”
Morticia was never one to display extreme forms of emotion, but watching Gomez hold the small animal was undoubtedly doing something to her. It was a new sensation bubbling inside of her. No longer was she concerned with the fire department, or the gawking crowd, or even the zoo staff fumbling to get the entrance gate open. At that moment, it was just Gomez and the cub.
That is until her husband was tackled and dragged out by security and the cub restrained on the ground.
...
“Mr and Mrs Addams, I wanted to extend my deepest apologies for this mishap...”
Morticia caressed her husband’s cheek as he slurped his drink, pleased at how responsive he’d become lately. Her fingers skirted the small gash on the side of his head before settling on his arm. He leaned into her touch, and her heart melted when he looked up and flashed her a blue-stained smile. It really was nice of the zoo managers to offer them free slushies for life for their troubles.
“...And as such, we hoped these gifts would help too, uh, mollify things somewhat.” The Director gestured to the piles of boxes littering the room.
Silence settled over the office except for the occasional sounds of Gomez’s loud gulps. When the Director looked at him expectantly, Gomez downed the rest of his drink with a shiver before replying.
“Water under the bridge, old man. And thanks again for the free knickknacks. The stuffed animals could go to Mama for target practice. Not sure about the t-shirts, but we’ll figure it out.”
“Yes, and I already know the visors would make for a lovely Christmas present for our Aunt Dementia,” Morticia added.
“Yes, well...” The Director fumbled for a moment with his files before rising. “Please don’t hesitate to take advantage of our lifetime membership. Now, if there are no more questions, my driver would be happy to escort you two home.”
“And what about that poor cub?” said Morticia.
The Director cleared his throat. “Unfortunately, because your husband was wounded, we will have to euthanize it.”
“What!” They cried in unison, but it was Gomez that rose on shaky legs, pointing an accusatory finger at the older man.
“Murderers! How could you put down a small defenseless animal like that?”
“Sir, please.” The Director took a step back. “The beast has tasted human flesh. We couldn’t-”
Gomez limped across the room, gesturing wildly at the old man. “No excuse. In fact, I’d wager the ones that should be put down are you and those staff members for giving me a concussion without a warning first.”
“Mr Addams!”
“Mr Director, there must be some other way,” said Morticia urgently. Her mind spun trying to think of some kind of offer to give to this horrible man. How on earth he could think to kill such a sweet animal was beyond her comprehension. “Let us keep him.”
“My name is Stanley, first of all, and certainly not. Besides being absurdly illegal, I cannot entrust this man-eating animal into your care for a host of safety concerns.”
Gomez paused to look back at Morticia. She found it incredibly useful how the two can have whole conversations with only a few glances. She gestured for him to sit, and he followed.
“How much?”
The Director roared with laughter, throwing himself back into his chair. “Surely you can’t be serious? The beast is not for sale. No matter the offer.”
She glanced back at her husband, but he was quick to the punch, producing his chequebook and scribbling down some notes.
“How about this?”
Morticia settled against her wicker chair for a much-needed break, happy to watch her husband attempt to potty train their newest pet.
“Okay, buddy." Gomez held up two litter boxes. "Here is where you go number one. And this one is for going number two.”
The cub growled, and Gomez reared back when their claws swiped too close to his face. Gomez wiped a sheen of sweat from his brow and retreated to Morticia’s side.
“I’ve got this housetraining thing cut out for me, but it’s doable, I think.”
Morticia smiled and reached up to pet his cheek. “Don’t fret, darling. You’re not alone. I’ll have Lurch drive me down to the pet store tomorrow for...uhm, Gomez?”
“Querida?” He kneeled on his good leg down to her level.
“Do we know the cub’s gender?”
“Excellent question! I have no idea. I don’t particularly want to check, either.” Gomez cringed at the thought.
“Hmm, well, I was going to make a coat for the little thing. But no worries, black will be the best option.”
Gomez nodded and glanced back at the cub. “Hey, don’t do that! Down kitty!”
The cub jumped on one of the many boxes piled high in their living room. Their claws easily pierced the flimsy cardboard, tearing the box open. Gomez made to get them down, but the cub hissed at him, leaping expertly from the great height into Morticia’s lap.
“Gomez, that’s perfect. We’ll name them Kitty.”
“Wonderful name, Querida.”
Kitty purred and curled up against her chest, seemingly content with the name, before laying their head down for a nap.
Morticia’s heart swelled with pride. Here they were as first-time parents taking on this responsibility together. She glanced at Gomez and it was clear as day by his adoring expression that they made the right choice.