Chapter Text
“Mariner”
Oh shit, she did not expected this, the way he is looking at her, the way he said her name, she was ready to see him look at her with anger and hatred, she was prepared to hear resentment and contempt in his voice. She looked him over, taking in his features, he has clearly lost a little bit of weight, his hair was a mess, there's bags under his eyes, and the most worrisome thing: his uniform, always pristine and per regulations was crumpled and dirty, that was her handiwork. So despite her mother reassuring her that Brad missed her she was not ready or prepared at all for the sheer longing in both his voice and in his eyes.
Holding back tears she shyly reached out and started ruffling his hair like she used too before all this romantic bullBLEEPshit started and her hearth actually skipped a beat when he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch while sighing in relief.
“we need to talk” she gave him a small, sad smile “in private”
“...i think i know just the place”.
…
A few minutes later Mariner found herself inside a supply closet, and not just some random closet among the hundreds across the Cerritos, but the very same closet were Boimler explained why he declined the promotion to the Titan.
“i... i must say... i am surprised” he wasn't looking at her, instead finding the damn wall more interesting “... that you would even want to come near this closet” he's still looking at the damn wall and not at her, and shit that hurts, because she really want him to look at her.
“why?”
“since, you know, it was right here were all this mess started”
“yeah, i suppose it so” he finally stopped looking at the damn wall and started looking at her... but with a glint of sadness on his eyes, dammit that damn wall is really interesting and he should definitely be looking at the damn wall and not at her “i guess I was going for a full circle kinda of thing”
“back were we started”
“yes”
After that they remained in silence, she knows that there's a lot of things both of then wanted to say, but it was clear they were having problems to put them into words, maybe it was that words are too small things to hold what they wanted to say, maybe they only need to look each other in the eyes and they will know what the other is feeling, maybe they will make use of 'physical' action to convey everything in their heads... nah that's just romantic bullBLEEPshit in her head, the truth is that they're just having the good and old fashioned fuckBLEEPing awkward silence because she fuckBLEEPing ignored him for three weeks, so of course they would have problems to talk.
When she finally managed to gather enough courage to say something Brad beat her to the punch.
“i am sorry”
wait...what.
“wait... what?”
“i said that i am sorry, i know i was a horrible friend that day” he looked down in shame causing her stomach to drop” i understand why you didn't wanted to see me anymore Mariner”
“what the... Boims no!” thanks to Rutherford she already knew that he was blaming himself for their fallout, but to hear that he's going as far as to think of himself as an bad friend was too much “how could you think that?”
“but it's the truth”
“no it's not”
“it is, i was selfish and didn't take your feeling in consideration”
“what! Dude you choose me over a promotion to one of the most prestigious ships in the fleet! How is that selfish?”
“because you were right before, you did put a lot of your time and effort into making me a better officer, all so i could one day sit in a captain chair, and what did a do with it?” he asked her, frustration clear in his voice “i threw it away and you know what the worst part is?” she shook her head “i didn't even talked with you as a good friend is suppose to, i didn't take into account how you would feel when all your hard work as my mentor was wasted, a good friend would've talked things with you before making a decision, instead i was selfish, and thought that i alone knew what was best for our friendship, i was selfish because a only cared that i would miss you and not that you would be sad that i gave up my dream for you, i am so sorry Mariner, i can't tell you how much i am sorry”.
That, right there, would be the perfect moment to tell him how she feels, or to hug him, or kiss him until they pass out from the lack of oxygen, that would be the perfect moment to do anything romantic, and you wanna know what Beckett Mariner did?
She started laughing.
Okay, it may sounds mean to laugh in this kind of situation, when he just finished pouring out his hearth to her, but she couldn't stop herself, soon she was doubling over, trying to get a hold of herself while Boimler watched her, confusion in his eyes.
“hahahaha... sorry” when her sides were starting to hurt she finally managed to stop laughing “that must have looked mean of me”
“a little bit, yes”
“look, it wasn't your fault” she put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him until he hesitantly gave her a smile of his own “there's a reason why i was avoiding you these last weeks, i can explain if you want, but it will take a while”
He simply nodded his head. Sighing she started.
“Boims, you have to understand that i am a messed up person” for some reason it was easy saying that to him “i know that you must look at me and see this amazing, badass space adventurer who can do anything she wants and fears nothing, and you're a 100% right because i am that amazing, badass space adventurer, so thank you very much” he gives her a little laugh “but i am messed up on the inside man”
he tilted his head a little in confusion.
“i am a Starfleet brat” she continued “i was born doing a captain's log, and growing up in Starfleet was great, all the adventures that i saw growing up, but there was one constant in my life, and it wasn't the adventures, or meeting new aliens, or meeting crazy space gods, or whatever science fiction bullBLEEPshit was happening on that day, do you know what was my constant Boimler?”
He shook his head in response.
“people always left me, friends, teachers, people i fell in love with, i open my hearth to people and in the end they always choose Starfleet and their careers over me” she didn't realize she was crying until Boimler reached for her face and gently wiped her tears, she leaned into his touch “ eventually i got used to it, i even started making sure of getting hid of people before i grown too fond of them”
She hesitated for a moment before continuing, knowing that her next confession may as well ruin any chance of them being friends, or something more, ever again.
“that was the plan with you, why i became your mentor” there we go, the time to tell the truth “when i realized that i was going to care a lot for you i decided that i was going to make sure you got promoted as fast as possible, before i opened up to you and you left me heartbroken like everyone else” she watched as his expression changed when he understood what she was saying “don't you see Boimler, i was the selfish one, i became your mentor only to get hid of you, because i didn't want to be hurt when you left”
“but them i choose you”
“yes... you did” it wasn't a question, it was a fact “that's why i did everything in my power to avoid you for the last three weeks” she admitted ashamed of herself for treating him so badly “for the first time in my life someone choose me over Starfleet, and i just didn't knew how to deal with that” she smiled sadly at him “Boims, you don't know how much what you did means to me”
“... and now what, do- do you wanna be friends again?” his tone was hopeful and she should say yes, so things can go back to normal between them, but truth be told, she don't want that, she wants more.
“i like you a lot Boimler, more than a friend” she wouldn't say that she love him, because it wasn't right or fair to dump such a bomb on his lap, not after avoiding him for three weeks , even though she wanted to” i don't want to go back to just being friends, but i will understand if you don't like me like that” she looks away because of how it hurts, saying those words “and then we can be friends again if that's what you want”
Boimler spend a long time without saying anything, enough time that Mariner finally look at him, he was shocked, his eyes open wide and his mouth hanging open. She could almost see his brain working, processing her words while trying to not fry itself.
“Boimler?”
“i... i like you a lot too” oh shit, her hearth just tried to jump out of her chest “ during these three weeks i missed you so much, i realized at some point that you meant a lot more than a friend to me” he gives her a little laugh “i mean look at me, i look like shit” they both laugh “i wouldn't be like that if I saw you just as a friend.
“...fuck”
“yeah”
“what do you want to do now?”
“...how about we take things slowly” he suggested “one date at a time?”
“so we don't ruin things by rushing in too fast”
“yes, what do you think?”
“actually i was hoping for that” and she really was, she wanted to be with Brad, but she really wants to take things slow so as to not ruin it “i have something for you”
“oh?”
“ i replicated it before going after you” she reaches into her pocket and pulled out a small box, Boimler eyed it curiously before she opens it and when he sees whats inside he blushes so hard that he locks like one of these many aliens that' are identical to humans except for some minor detail like skin color or ears or ridges, damn the universe was lazy.
But there, siting inside the box on a velvet pillow is a pip. A black pip, like the ones you receive when you're being promoted to the rank of lieutenant junior grade, except that this pip was shaped like a hearth.
“since you gave up your promotion to the Titan i was thinking that you earned another promotion instead” she smiled, the look on his face was priceless “may i?”
“yes, please Mariner” he pleads softly with her and again she gets worried that her heart is going to burst out of her chest.
“Ensign Bradward Boimler” she reaches out for his collar where his lone golden pip sits alone “it pleases me to give you a promotion” she put the pip in place and runs her finger over it in appreciation “ to the rank of 'love interest', i know you will do well”
“thank you ma'am, i promise to excel on my news duties” he caress her check with the back of his hand “and i assure you that in the future i will earn another promotion to the rank of boyfriend”
“good, because i see a lot of potential in you” she leans into his touch for a moment before smiling “want to go watch the warp core and catch up on these three weeks?”
“i was worried you're never going to ask” he smiled at her “but first i better hit the sonic showers because i look horrible”
And then Beckett is kissing him, just a chaste kiss since they're taking things slow, just to savor the feeling and the taste of his lips on hers for a few moments so she could look forward to give him a much more intense and intimate kiss in the future: smooching, smacking,wet and full of tongue, but for now a chaste kiss would do.
And so, as soon as their lips were separated they smiled at each other before exiting the closet, first to the sonic showers because Brad really was looking like shit, then to their first date, the first of many.