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Like the Holding of Hands, Like the Breaking of Glass

Summary:

Maybe that’s what his heart feels like; it would suit him.

(They're in love, your honor.)

Notes:

techza enjoyers please take this meal

as alluded to this is super super self indulgent and i was basically just wrote what sounded hot to me lol thats also why there's past rape, i've been through things, unfortunately. it's very mild though!!!

some afab-typical language is used to refer to techno's body because that's what i prefer (i am trans) but if that bothers you that's cool :)

usual dsmp related disclaimers: this is about characters not creators, don't show this to anyone involved, behave normally, etc. if you're weird about it i'll bite you. if you recognize my writing no you don't.

title from wasteland, baby! by hozier

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Maybe it’s the warmth of the fire, of the wine, of the blankets they’re wrapped in. Maybe it’s the almost-silent snowfall, the crackle of the logs in the hearth. Or maybe it’s just something inevitable between them, something that was bound to happen. 

 

Either way, Techno finds himself just melting and letting out a quiet sigh when Phil kisses him, slow and gentle. 

 

It’s not the first time they’ve kissed— there have been many kisses before, in the hot aftermath of battle and during quiet nights like this and in dark corners in public spaces when they really didn’t have the time. 

 

But this is the softest Phil has ever kissed him, and Techno feels more dizzy and tipsy from it than from the wine. 

 

He lets his head tip to the side, so his tusks aren’t quite so in the way, and lets his hands settle, one on his hip and the other around his jaw. When their tongues meet, a hot slide, he huffs and squeezes his hip. 

 

Phil pulls back just enough to nip at his lower lip, before resuming their kiss. 

 

He pushes forward and Techno obediently moves back, until he’s leaning back on a pile of blankets and Phil is kneeling over him. 

 

One of his hands is planted next to his head to keep his balance, while the other entangles in his hair, moving through the strands and pulling just enough that Techno feels breathless and tingling waves of pleasure are filling his body. 

 

They kiss like that, slow and hot, taking their time, for what feels like an eternity. Techno could do this for eternity, he thinks, he could lay back and let his most trusted companion kiss him slow and leisurely until the stars burn out. 

 

But all good things must come to an end, and after immeasurable minutes, Phil pulls back and leans over him, grinning. “Hey,” he says softly. His hair has started to fall loose from the ponytail he swept it into after dinner, and soft blonde strands dangle down around his bright face. 

 

Techno licks his lips, feeling tingly and swollen. He shifts his hands, now both on his hips, and hums. “Hey,” he echoes, not quite gentle enough. “What’s up?” 

 

Phil laughs, that quiet laugh that Techno feels is something private, something only for him, and if he wasn’t such a controlled man, he’d groan about it. 

 

He shifts above him, moving so he has one leg between his own, maybe an inch between it and his crotch. He balances himself on his hands, planted near his shoulders, and grins wider as he looks down at him. 

 

“You’re beautiful,” Phil murmurs, too sincere, too truthful. Techno’s face burns and he wants to withdraw, wants to pull away. At the same time, he can’t imagine it. 

 

Phil dips down to kiss him again, brief but hot, open-mouthed. “So fucking beautiful, all for me,” he praises between the kisses, and Techno has no way to stop himself from groaning a little, this time.

 

The deep , hot intention of the kisses and their position isn’t new either, isn’t something Techno is unfamiliar with. They’ve had these moments before, but they’ve never led anywhere, they’ve never pushed beyond friends, even though they could have. 

 

Techno has always been scared to push that far. Part of him is still a scared teenager that doesn’t want to expose too much of himself to the immortal man he’s found himself with, part of him is still too worried he’ll abandon him. Part of him is still too worried that he’ll be cut open and found unsightly. Part of him is still too worried that Phil will see the parts of him that are damaged and not want him. 

 

But he’ll never do that. It’s a confirmed thing, by now; they’ve been so close for so long that it would be painful for both of them, if Phil was to abandon him. They’re partners and dear friends and maybe those are just words that could encompass this , too. 

 

Phil kisses him, deep once more, and Techno lets out a low moan, raising his hands to cup his face, to try and pull him closer. 

 

He feels too hot and too cold all at once, he needs more

 

When they pull apart this time, wet and panting, Phil’s grin is more predatory than amused. 

 

Techno wants to speak, but before he can, Phil tugs his head back with a casual hand in his hair, and begins kissing his neck.

 

He moans again, instinctively clutching his shoulders and arching up against the leg between his thighs. 

 

Without a word, Phil presses forward and grinds on him, thigh against his core and his own cock against his hip. 

 

He kisses his neck slowly, languidly, taking his time tracing the lines of his veins and tendons through his pale skin with his lips and tongue. 

 

It’s unfamiliar, he’s never done this before, his one other experience wasn’t this tender , so Techno isn’t sure what to do with the hot spikes of pleasure, how they make his spine tingle and arch and heat pool between his thighs. 

 

He settles for gripping his shoulders, his hair, and moaning, even if he thinks the sound is pathetic. 

 

“God,” Phil sighs after he lets out a particularly high, almost needy moan. “You sound so good for me, Techno.” 

 

The praise feels almost as shockingly pleasurable as the kisses and Techno whines, arching against him again, grinding on his thigh. 

 

Phil notices the reaction, of course he does, and he can feel the curve of his smile against his neck, as he drags kisses up from his throat to the space just under his ear. 

 

“Do you like that?” Phil asks. His teeth ghost his soft skin and Techno groans, this time, clutching his hair. “Do you like me telling you how good you are?” 

 

Techno squirms below him. He could get away if he wanted to, but he doesn’t want to, not really. “ Phil ,” he whines, and he finds his own voice embarrassing and pathetic. 

 

His grin widens and he presses a searing, open-mouthed kiss to his ear, just on the soft cartilage. He can’t help letting out another desperate moan, the hot kiss seeming to travel down his spine to directly melt into the arousal building in his belly. 

 

“Well?” Phil asks, voice low, as he’s so close to his ear. “Do you like it, Tech? Like being good for me?” 

 

Techno curls his toes in his socks and presses his feet against the floor. He feels hot and a bit disoriented and a bit like a horny teenager all over again, discovering the pleasures of his own hands. 

 

“I do,” he says in a ragged voice. “I want— wanna be good for you.”

 

Phil groans and resumes his kissing, faster now, almost frantic. He grinds against him and kisses his ear, tongue flicking against the soft skin. 

 

Techno knows his ears are sensitive— every piercing he’s gotten was painful and even accidentally scratching them with his nails or a hairbrush makes him feel various levels of pain— but he had no idea of how sensitive they would be to pleasure. 

 

He physically scrambles to hold onto his composure, an almost feral sound leaving his mouth as he winds his arms around Phil and holds tight onto him. He’s meeting every movement of his hips with his own, desperate, shaky. 

 

“It’s okay, baby,” Phil soothes in a low whisper. He licks and mouths at the soft shell of his ear and Techno presses up against him with even more purpose. “Is this too much?” 

 

Techno grips at his back, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt and the soft feathers on his skin, around the bases of his wings. “No,” he gasps. “Feels— feels really good. K-keep doin’ that.” 

 

He chuckles and, too casually, he takes one of his piercings into his mouth and sucks at the metal, the soft skin. 

 

He squirms even more, keening now. The soft suckling makes his whole body feel hot, and he can almost trace a mental line from where Phil is mouthing at his earring, down his back, to his cunt, drawing wetness from him, making his cock stiffen with arousal. 

 

Phil releases the piercing. His breath is hot on the sensitive, wet skin. “Good boy,” he praises. “Always wondered how you’d react to that.” 

 

Techno feels flustered and debauched already. He’s never done this before, not while actually wanting it. 

 

He’s wet between his thighs, slick staining his boxers by now. 

 

Phil kisses his way along his ear. At least he’s not the only one affected; he can feel how hard he is against his hip, how he seems to be getting more so with every roll of their hips. 

 

Techno swallows, mouth dry. “Phil?” He asks in a rough voice. His only response is a distracted hum as he mouths at his earrings again. “I-I, uh— kiss me again?” 

 

Phil kisses one of his earrings, the one that’s a simple gold stud. “That’s what I’m doing, love.” His tone is too amused. 

 

He laughs, maybe a little frantic. He raises one hand to take hold of his hair and tug him away from his ear, and when he’s close enough, he leans in and connects their lips again. 

 

He hums against his mouth and drags one of his hands up his chest and then down his stomach and his hip and along his thigh. He feels himself twitch at the touch and he grins. 

 

Techno was right, he could do this forever , he could spend the rest of his life like this, kissing Philza until they die, until the world burns around them. 

 

He feels like a frantic, confused teenager and like a desperate man and like he’s going to shake apart because for some reason he didn’t think this would be so good . He didn’t think these kinds of touches could actually be good. 

 

This is so good, it makes the other event seem like some kind of ridiculous parody, a caricature of this hot, pure intimacy. 

 

A mean-spirited caricature…

 

“Hey,” Phil says when they part, squeezing his hip. “Hey, Tech. Honey, look at me.” He leans back a bit, and Techno wants to follow, wants to chase him down, wants to keep kissing him and feeling him. 

 

But he does as asked and opens his eyes, blinking in the firelight, taking in Phil’s face above him. 

 

His hair is even more messy, now, framing his flushed face. His lips are a deep pink from their kisses. His wings aren’t settled against his back as calmly as they usually are, instead being slightly stretched out above them. 

 

Techno blinks a few more times and then smiles, nervous. He isn’t sure if he can speak. 

 

“There you are,” Phil murmurs. “You started kinda trembling, I got worried.” He cups his cheek and brushes his thumb over the curve of his cheekbone. “You good?” 

 

Techno swallows thickly and nods, eager. He presses his head into his hand, craving any touch. “I’m all good,” he promises roughly. “I don’t wanna stop.” 

 

His eyes flicker a little in the firelight. “Are you sure?” He asks, his smile softer now, gentler. “Have you ever had sex before?” 

 

His cheeks burn in a way that isn’t really related to his arousal. He lays his hands flat on his back and fiddles with his shirt. “…yeah,” he admits, hesitant. Shame boils in his stomach at the memory, one he’s been doggedly ignoring despite how it’s been lurking ever since they first kissed. 

 

Phil smiles wider and kisses the tip of his nose. Instinctively, Techno scrunches it, and he laughs. “That’s fine, Tech. I don’t mind.” He pets his cheek. “I was just curious. It’s not my business how you choose to enjoy yourself.” 

 

Techno swallows, mouth dry. Should he— he should tell him, right? It feels like something he should know, if this is to go any further. 

 

He doesn’t want to tell him, he doesn’t want to poison the sweet feelings of tonight with such a bitter memory, but if he doesn’t tell him, he could poison it ever further. If he panics or reacts badly to touch… 

 

(One of the other times they kissed, he reacted badly. 

 

Phil had him pinned against the ground after they were sparring, hands on his wrists as he kissed him slow and hot like flowing lava. 

 

Techno was enjoying himself, until he grinded against him a bit too hard, hands clutching his wrists tighter, and then he wasn’t .

 

He hadn’t complained when he said they had to stop and they went on as normal, but the shame followed him for months after. If he hadn’t been so weak…

 

Techno licks his lips. “I, uh. I didn’t have fun,” he says, mostly vaguely. 

 

Phil stares down at him with confusion, smile fading. 

 

He shifts underneath him, dropping his hands to dig them into the blankets. “I got— I got, uh, I was…” he has to form the words and say them as quickly as he can, “I was raped.” 

 

The room goes so silent that even the crackles and pops of the firewood seem obscenely loud. 

 

Phil holds his cheek and continues petting his skin with his thumb, gentle. He isn’t meeting his eyes.

 

Techno’s eyes feel hot and he has a horrible knot in his throat. The memories are cold and sharp like the worst arctic winds, and they begin to blow away some of his arousal. It’s replaced with shame and self-loathing and discomfort. 

 

After a long silence, Phil moves off of him. 

 

Techno’s throat tightens further and he bites his tongue to avoid crying out, to avoid following him. He’s disgusted with him. He doesn’t want him, he’s damaged goods, he’s nowhere near worthy of his love or adoration or even his lust— 

 

His eyes well with tears and roll down his cheeks when he blinks. He didn’t want to think about this. He should have ignored it, they were both enjoying themselves, they were both feeling good— 

 

Phil cups his face and makes little soothing chirpy noises. He wipes his tears away with his thumb. “Hey, hey— it’s okay, Techno, I’m not going anywhere. You don’t need to cry.” He’s frowning, brows furrowed and that familiar wrinkle showing up on his forehead. “I’ve got you.” 

 

Techno sniffles pathetically and tries to draw in a steady breath. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. It’s unusually vulnerable, all of this is, even for how he acts around Phil. The shame boils in his chest and bubbles up in the form of hitching breaths. 

 

Phil’s brows furrow deeper and he shakes his head. “You don’t need to apologize,” he says gently. “I’m not upset. I mean— I am, I can’t imagine why someone would do that, but I’m not upset with you.” He kisses his forehead tenderly. 

 

Techno wants to cry more or scream or maybe just rewind back to when they were first kissing by the fire. 

 

He settles on letting more tears fall. He feels ashamed. 

 

Phil murmurs sweet things to him as he cries, petting his hair, kissing his face gently. Every time he sobs, he shushes him quietly. 

 

He ruined this and he feels horrible and he just wants to have this one good thing .

 

After a few minutes, Techno pulls back and wipes his face on his sleeve. Gross. 

 

Phil tilts his head at him curiously, his smile cautious. “Are you feeling a little better now?” He asks, raising a brow. 

 

He nods, giving a weak sniffle. “Sorry,” he says self-consciously. “I, uh, I kinda messed this up.” 

 

He shakes his head and begins petting his hair again. “You didn’t,” he promises quietly. “I’m happy that you trust me enough to tell me that kind of thing. And, y’know- it was probably important, in this context.”

 

Techno tries once more to wipe his face, and then shifts down so he can lay his face against his shoulder. “It was a long time ago,” he admits. “I can't even remember it very well. It’s not that big of a deal.” 

 

(It’s not true, but he’s repressing the memories as hard as he can.)

 

He sinks his fingers through his hair until he can scratch his scalp. He makes a small, content noise and his hands reflexively curl and uncurl like a pleased cat's paws. 

 

“I’m not going to tell you it is a big deal, because I’m not in your head,” he scratches behind one of his ears and he practically purrs , “but I feel like it could’ve become a big deal.” 

 

He huffs a little and tries to get ever closer to him, snaking his arms around his smaller frame and pressing his face further into his shoulder. 

 

“I mean… imagine you didn’t tell me, so we kept going, and I did something that… reminded you.” Phil peppers kisses along his hairline. “I can't imagine that’d be much fun for either of us.”

 

Techno can't shrug at this angle, so he offers a noncommittal hum. 

 

For a while, they just hold each other like that, warm and close. This is another thing he could spend forever doing; Phil is the only person in the world he lets touch him like this. 

 

But eventually, Phil shifts next to him, and he can feel his erection brush his hip. He’s not as hard as he felt earlier, but he’s still aroused, clearly. And frankly, so is he.

 

Techno leans back a bit, so he can look at him. His eyes are closed and he looks content. But he’s not asleep, he can tell. 

 

He presses a kiss to his lips, tender and soft. 

 

Phil raises his hands to rest on his neck, thumbs resting at the middle, and kisses him back. 

 

After only a few seconds, though, he pulls back and stops him from following him with the hands on his neck. (Something low and buzzing in Techno’s head gets stronger at the suggestion of pressure .)

 

“Are you sure?” Phil asks, frowning a little. “We don’t have to keep going. I’d be completely happy to just hold you all night.” 

 

Techno huffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. Wouldn’t have kissed you again if I didn’t want to.” He feels his mouth spread in a crooked little smile. “I’m not fragile, Phil. Promise.” 

 

His frown disappears in favor of his own smile. “I know you’re not fragile,” he says, and his voice is closer to the hot, low tone he used while kissing his neck. “Not at all.” 

 

He kisses his lips, but doesn’t linger. “Tell me if you don’t like what I’m doing, okay?” He asks, thumb stroking over his throat. 

 

Techno nods, a bit eager again. The shame has faded in favor of his arousal returning, strong enough that he can feel himself throbbing. “Yeah, I will. Kiss me again?”

 

Phil grins and does as asked, petting his neck with his thumb as he does. God, the gentle touch makes him want to melt. He loves it.

 

Gently, he’s pushed onto his back again, and he goes willingly. This time, he ends up flat on the blankets, sprawled out comfortably. 

 

He easily settles over his hips, kneeling, and pulls away from their kiss with a not-quite-necessary smack. “Hi,” he says, grinning, and kisses his cheek. “You’re so beautiful for me, Techno.” 

 

He screws up his face and huffs. 

 

Phil grins wider and kisses his jaw, now, trailing down to his neck. “You like being told how pretty you are,” he murmurs. “I can tell.” 

 

Techno whimpers as he begins kissing his neck properly, wet and open-mouthed. “M-maybe I do,” he admits hesitantly. “It, uh— it makes me feel good. M-makes me feel…” his face somehow feels hotter now than when Phil was literally grinding his thigh against his cunt, “makes me actually feel… pretty .” 

 

He nips at the soft skin of his neck and drops his hands to pet his chest. “You’re so cute,” he murmurs. “So god. Gods, I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” He finds the hard nubs of his nipples and rubs them gently, his thumbs circling them. “This okay?” 

 

He exhales shakily, raising his hands to his shoulders. He winds his arms around them, resting one hand in the middle of his upper back, between his wings. “Yeah, it’s okay.” 

 

“Good,” he says, kissing his pulse, tongue sliding out to taste his skin. “And the kisses are okay too, right?” 

 

He groans this time, trying to scold him for all the caution by raising his hand to pull his hair, gently. “It’s all fine. I said I’ll tell you if I didn’t-- ah!

 

His words are cut off by a desperate, sharp moan, as Phil bites him, slightly sharp teeth sinking into his skin, just deep enough to draw blood. He squirms under him as he pulls back and begins licking the bite apologetically, though he can tell he’s grinning. 

 

“That good too, baby?” He asks against the mark, rubbing his nipples with firmer pressure now. “Or do you want me to stop?” 

 

Techno moans again, pressing his chest into his hands needily. “So good,” he gasps. “Didn’t think-- ah, didn’t think I’d be that into bitin’…”

 

“I always figured you would be,” Phil says wryly, kissing the bite tenderly before leaning up to kiss his ear again, the one he didn’t kiss before. “You like pain a bit too much, Techno.” 

 

“Fuck you,” he laughs, suddenly feeling light even with the heavy pleasure. “I like pain a perfectly normal amount, I’ll have you know-- hmmm ,” his words dissolve this time into a low hum as he sucks at his earrings again. “I like that,” he says, almost dazed.  

 

“I figured that, too,” he says, breathy and wet as he kisses his ear, mouthing at the sensitive skin. “I’ve thought about this before, y’know. How much you’d squirm and moan while I played with your ears.” 

 

He groans at that, the attention to his ear and the fact that Phil has thought about him, maybe even with a hand around his cock, jerking himself off to the thought of touching him. 

 

Techno grips at his back, not even thinking before he runs one hand over his right wing. He can hear his hitch of breath and it makes him twitch within his pants.

 

“I need-- to take some of my clothes off,” he manages to say, feeling choked.

 

“That’s a good idea,” he agrees, shifting his hands on his chest to undo the buttons of his shirt. He’s happy he already took off his jewelry, since that would just complicate things. 

 

Though, he does like the idea of Phil tenderly removing his necklaces. Tugging on the thin golden chains, running his fingers under his favorite choker…

 

His shirt is pulled open, caught around his shoulders, and Phil sits back on his knees, over him. He’s grinning widely and his eyes are shimmering, as he undoes the small buttons on the back of his top, just underneath his wings, and then pulls it off, revealing his own torso.

 

Techno’s mouth spreads in a smile and he rests his hands on his hips. He’s not slight, he’s stocky with muscle. But he looks small compared to him, and it makes him feel hot. 

 

“Hey, you,” he says softly, running his fingers up his chest. “You have a lot of nerve, callin’ me pretty…” he says, tracing a scar on his right pectoral.

 

He makes a birdlike noise and leans into his hands, grin becoming softer. “Have you looked in a mirror, dear?” he asks, raising a hand to rest on the back of his own. “You’re prettier than me. I mean, I’m not going to say I’m not confident, but…” 

 

He takes one of his hands and kisses his palm. “Let’s agree that we can look beautiful together, yeah?” 

 

He grins openly and nods. “I’ll allow it.” He cups his cheek and urges him down so he can kiss him again. 

 

He allows it, but only for a moment. 

 

“Let me just…” he pulls back, settling back on his hips again, looking down at him with his eyes glittering. “I want to just look at you for a moment.” 

 

He runs his hands up his bare chest from his waist, fitting his palms over the soft shape of his breasts. 

 

Techno was lucky to be incredibly flat-chested even before he started hormones, and now, all that’s really there is a softness that can barely be seen. He never felt like he needed top surgery, so they stayed. 

 

He’s very thankful for that right now, because Phil cups his tits and brushes his thumbs over his nipples. The hot pleasure makes him practically growl, and he sinks back into the blankets, boneless. 

 

Phil’s mouth quirks into a smile. “If I knew it was this easy to get you to relax, I would have done it ages ago.” He idly rubs his nipples with both thumbs and Techno lets out a shaky breath. “Yeah, definitely using this information another day.” 

 

Techno hums, face hot with embarrassment and arousal. “Cut me some slack,” he mutters. “Haven’t been touched like this in a long time. ‘S different when it’s…” you , “another person.” 

 

His smile widens and he gently squeezes the soft flesh of his tits. He gasps and squirms under his hands. “Do you do this to yourself?” He asks, nodding to his groping hands. “Do you play with them?”

 

He fists his hands in the blanket and looks up at him with mixed annoyance and fondness. “Sometimes,” he concedes. “They’re fairly sensitive- ah!

 

He really seems to like cutting him off, because at that moment, the calloused pads of his fingers pinch his nipples, rolling the hard buds between them. 

 

He’s still grinning, too. Bastard, he thinks fondly.

 

“That’s so cute,” he laughs. “God, I love that idea, baby. You groping your tits and trying to feel good…” he licks his lips and Techno’s mouth goes dry, “I never imagined that would get a yes. Fuck.” 

 

He shifts underneath him. The sticky wetness in his briefs is quickly becoming a problem that’s driving him insane. He’s still playing with his chest and it’s immensely distracting. 

 

“Sometimes I think about you while I do it,” he mumbles, and then squeezes his eyes shut, feeling too vulnerable. 

 

Phil pauses in feeling him up for a long moment, and when he begins moving again, it’s with more roughness and urgency. One of his nails scratches lightly over his right nipple and Techno gasps with pleasure, reaching up to grab one of his wrists. 

 

“Fuck, you’re trying to kill me,” Phil says with despair, rubbing and pinching his nipples between his fingers. 

 

He moves to be between his legs instead of atop his waist, and moves one hand to fumble with the tie of his pants. The other doesn’t pause in playing with his tits, working more to make up for the absence. 

 

Techno just lets it all happen, unsure of what to do but loving the attention, the gentle touches. He hesitates only a moment before tangling his hands in Phil’s hair and dragging him up to kiss him firmly. 

 

He manages to get his pants loosened, and begins pulling them off his hips, before pausing. He separates their lips just enough so he can speak. “Do you want-?”

 

Techno nods aggressively and shoves their mouths together again. His right hand frees itself from his hair and goes down to grab his wrist, pushing it against him.

 

He makes a sound that can only be described as a growl and tugs them off his hips. With some shuffling, he discards them, and then his briefs as well. 

 

The cool air makes him shiver as it brushes over his heated skin. 

 

Phil’s hands both drift to his hips, thumbs stroking at the plush flesh. He pulls back from their kiss and looks down at him with lidded eyes and a small smile.

 

He licks his lips and shifts between his legs. “Hey,” he murmurs, “I’m gonna try something. Tell me if it’s not okay, yeah?” 

 

He gives a dazed nod. 

 

He squeezes his hips and presses one more sweet kiss against his mouth, before moving down to get between his legs. 

 

“Oh,” he hears himself mumble stupidly when it clicks in his head. 

 

Phil grins up at him and strokes a thumb along the crease of his thigh. He doesn’t say anything. 

 

But he starts kissing his inner thighs. His lips are warm and soft against the sensitive skin, and every brush of contact immediately goes up to his cunt. If he wasn’t already wet and hot, he would be now. 

 

His hands return to his hair and hold securely, for his own stability. 

 

He runs his tongue along the edge of a scar on his thigh, and Techno moans quietly, rocking his hips up against the pleasure. God, there’s no reason for it to feel so good. But it does. 

 

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” Phil murmurs against his thigh. He’s stroking the soft skin of the other one with his palm. “I love the noises you make, Tech. So good.” 

 

“I didn’t think you’d be such a sweet-talker,” Techno mumbles, barely thinking. “Wouldn’t that be my job?” 

 

“Nah, it’s an emotional thing, so it suits me better.” He nips at the skin of his thigh and grins. “I’m good at other things with my mouth too.” 

 

He laughs breathlessly and grips at his hair. “You’re insufferable , y’know that?” 

 

“So you’ve told me,” he leans up into his hand and smiles almost dopily up at him. “You still good with this?” he confirms, still petting his thigh. His thumb sweeps over the crease of his leg, temptingly close to his cunt.

 

He nods, loosening one hand in his hair to pet his head gently. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

 

He kisses his thigh one more time. 

 

And then his tongue gets involved again. 

 

Techno has a lot of scars on his legs. You don’t live his kind of life without them, really. They’re all over his body, but there are a lot on his legs in particular. There’s a lot of real estate there, he supposes. 

 

Phil seems intent on tracing every single one with his tongue. 

 

The wolf-bite just above his right knee, the clawmarks along the middle of his left thigh, the scattered cuts and marks from swords or arrows; he runs his tongue along each and every one, one hand cupped around the back of his knee and the other resting gently on his hip. 

 

Between kisses, he traces his tongue along those marks. His thumb rubs along his hipbone, and his other hand shifts down to squeeze the back of his thigh, rubbing along his muscle and fat.

 

At first, it’s just simple, warm contact, but by the time he’s mouthing gently at the ragged scar at the top of his left thigh (from a nearly unfortunate knife wound) he’s squirming in place, tugging at his soft hair. 

 

Phil ,” he half-complains, half-moans. 

 

Techno ,” he replies, sing-song. “What? Do you want more?” 

 

He groans and drops his head back on the blankets. “Do I need to repeat that y-you’re insufferable?” 

 

He laughs against his thigh, and then nips at the soft skin just below that scar. He flinches all over. “I’m just appreciating you. I’ve wanted this for a long time, I want to savor it.”

 

“If you don’t move on, I’ll get up and go to bed,” he threatens weakly, face warm and embarrassment burning in his chest from the words. The knowledge that his desire hasn’t been entirely one-sided gives him both despair and delight. 

 

He smirks and, just like that, the hand on his thigh slides up to pet along his slit. The gentle touch makes him squirm. “You won’t,” he teases. “You like the attention. I can tell…” 

 

His middle finger slips between the plush lips of his cunt and slides through the wetness soaking from him. “…not that it’s very subtle .” He completes, smirking on his thigh. 

 

Techno puts an arm over his face. The hand still in his hair tugs weakly. “Come on,” he says, flustered. “Please?” 

 

Phil laughs and his fingers spread him open, baring all his soft, sensitive flesh and his twitching cock, fat with arousal. “That’s all you had to say, y’know,” he says, and he can feel those intelligent, teasing, awful blue eyes on his half-covered face. 

 

His first lick is broad, the wet muscle of his tongue sliding flat over his cunt, from his hole up to his cock. It’s so hot that he feels like he’s melting, and he lets out helpless whimpers. 

 

His tongue swirls around his cock and then laps over it.

 

He digs his hand further into his hair and moans aloud. “Phil, fuck,” he gasps. “So good .”

 

He can feel him grin against him. He doesn’t say anything (he’s busy, and he’s never talked with his mouth full) but he seems to pay him back for the compliment by sucking his cock between his lips and flicking his tongue over it. 

 

He presses his head back into the pillows. He’s embarrassingly close already, his body twitching around nothing, his hips jerking. When was the last time someone did this to him? It must have been years ago. 

 

He wouldn’t want anyone else.

 

He’s so good at this, fuck . He didn’t expect any less, and for a moment he has the fleeting thought of; how many partners has Phil had?

 

But despite the nature of the thought, and his own jealousy and self confidence, he feels only a low, embarrassing interest in the concept. It’s very… very hot, how much more experience he has. 

 

Phil pulls away from him for just a moment, breathing slightly heavy, and sweeps his thumb over the line of his hipbone. “Is it alright if I use my fingers?” He asks, and he can feel the weight of his eyes on him. 

 

Techno presses his arm better over his face, cheeks burning. “Y-yeah, that’s okay.” 

 

He kisses his right inner thigh before diving back into his cunt, lapping and teasing at his hole with his warm, horrible tongue. 

 

His thighs twitch and he’s vaguely tempted to tighten them around his head as a punishment. He’d probably be happy about it. 

 

He slides one hand away from his hip to instead travel to his hole. He runs his fingers over him, wet with slick and saliva, and then presses two of them into his hole at once.

 

He whimpers as the slight stretch present, as strong fingers, reliable fingers, fingers he’s lusted over for years, slide to the last knuckle inside of him. 

 

He’s on the edge of drooling, and he’s pushed into it when he starts moving his fingers. Gods, this is better than he ever imagined. 

 

“I-I— I’m gonna c-cum,” he admits with no small shame. He’s barely done anything… but he’s as sensitive as a fucking teenager. 

 

He shrugs between his legs and curls his fingers just so inside of him. He moans loudly and covers his mouth on instinct. “That’s fine,” he says genuinely. “Kinda why I’m doing this.” 

 

He manages to frown slightly through his pleasure. “But I haven’t done anythin’ for you...”

 

He doesn’t stop moving his fingers, but he leans down to lap at his cock again. He groans and sinks back into the pillows, moving both hands to grip the blankets under him. His hips are moving restlessly as he chases the high of his orgasm. 

 

He begs under his breath for a few moments, senseless, before a particularly skillful thrust of fingers and his mouth closing around his cock has him jerking up against his partner’s mouth and (not quite punishingly) closing his legs around his head.

 

Those fingers curl just right inside of him and he tips over the edge, whimpering and moaning his name as he trembles through it. 

 

“Phil, Phil , fuck you’re so good , I love you— thank you, thank you—” he’s babbling, rocking against his mouth and hand as he keeps pleasuring him through it. 

 

Techno feels like he’s more than having an orgasm— he feels like all the emotions he’s kept gathered in his chest are spilling out, so many years of pining and love. He feels cracked, but in a good way. 

 

Phil leans back from his length with a salacious wet sound and starts kissing his thighs, pushing them away from his head with one gentle hand, fingers still thrusting and curling inside of him. He’s even added a third, he can feel it. 

 

“You’re so wonderful, Techno,” he murmurs, just loud enough for him to hear over the rush in his ears. “So beautiful. I love you too, you’re doing so well…” 

 

Tears prick his eyes as his fingers curl perfectly inside of him at the same time he jolts with an aftershock. “Ah—ha,” he exhales sharply. “T-too much…”

 

His eyes flick up to him, clear through his tears. His fingers immediately withdraw, and rest, slick and sticky, on his thigh. 

 

Techno draws in a shaking breath. He’s trembling a little. He feels like there’s a hole in his chest, spilling blood and emotion. 

 

“Good boy,” Phil mumbles against his thigh, kissing a scar. “How was that?” 

 

He laughs breathlessly. “Amazin’. I haven’t…” his cheeks somehow burn hotter, “I haven’t came like that in… years .” 

 

He grins up at him. “I’m glad I could do that for you.” He grips his thigh teasingly, before sitting up and stretching both his fingers and his jaw. 

 

Techno licks his own lower lip and shifts. His body is a bit sore, probably from laying on the floor for this. His cunt is sensitive and swollen, but pleasantly so. 

 

His eyes flicker over Phil’s body. He’s flushed down his neck to his shoulders, just the highlight of golden hair visible on his chest and stomach, and he’s clearly hard underneath the soft fabric of his pants. They don’t hide much at all. 

 

He stretches out and tilts his head a bit. 

 

He shifts his leg to slide it between his partner’s own, nudging his knee against his erection.

 

He freezes in place. “What’re you doing there?” He asks, voice light. 

 

“I don’t think it’s fair that I get to have all the fun,” he replies, shifting even more to properly rub his leg against him. His brows furrow together and he exhales shakily. “Is there somethin’ you want?” 

 

Phil grins a bit, obviously amused. “Well,” he starts, moving a bit closer so his cock is pressed against his thigh. “I’d really love to fuck you, if you’re comfortable with that.”

 

The calm, caring way he says that makes Techno’s ears go hot just as they started going back to normal, but he grins back. “I’m more than fine with that,” he replies softly. “Please?”

 

He smiles wider and leans down to kiss him, hot and intense. He hums into it and raises his hands to cradle his face. The taste of himself on his lips isn’t as disgusting as it probably should be. 

 

Phil fits himself between his spread thighs again, and easily slides his fingers back into him, all three at once. Techno is very relaxed, and the tiniest hint of a stretch is just more pleasure. 

 

“You don’t need to do that,” he mumbles against his partner’s lips. “I can take it.” 

 

He chuckles, low and toe-curling in the best way. “Nah, I need to keep fingering you. You’ll need it, so I won't hurt you.” His fingers curl and stretch apart inside of him, the sensations just on the edge of overwhelming after his orgasm. 

 

“I didn’t take you for the type to be overconfident,” he mumbles, amused. 

 

Phil pulls away to truly laugh, that real laugh that makes more happiness flood from the cracks in Techno’s chest. 

 

“Trust me, I’m not being overconfident,” he says, slipping his free hand under his own waistband. He can see the shape of his hand wrapping around his cock. It does look… big. 

 

He had always had a suspicion, but— he thought that was just his horny brain. 

 

Techno stares unashamedly at his hand under his pants. He licks his lips. “Show me?” 

 

He grins, and curls his fingers inside of him. He groans and shifts a bit when he hits just the right spot. 

 

Casually, he pulls his pants and underwear off, revealing— oh. 

 

Yeah, he’s big. Pretty obscenely so, honestly. Long and incredibly thick and flushed the best shade of red-pink Techno has ever seen. The head is wet and exposed. 

 

His face splits into a nearly delirious grin. “Okay, maybe you’ve got a point with the prep.” 

 

Phil laughs again, stroking himself a few times and making his own wings flutter. “Told you.” He leans down to kiss his cheek once, before settling between his thighs again. 

 

He removes his fingers from inside of him briefly, before shifting around a little. 

 

Techno isn’t sure what he’s doing, until he moves his cock to rest on his stomach, from just at his cunt to— gods — well above his navel. And he’s not really a small guy, so— so that means he’s fucking big

 

“Oh,” he says, a little weak. He’s suddenly even more wet and eager, his head getting a little hazy with excitement. He’s wanted to fuck him for years , and he imagined he had a big dick, but— it being real makes him feel fuzzy. 

 

“See how deep it’ll go?” Phil asks, holding himself against his belly and running his hand up from the base. “It’s so hot to see how much I’m gonna fill you up. I always thought about it, but…” 

 

Techno laughs breathlessly, leaning up to grab his hair and tug him down to be kissed. “I’ve thought about it a lot too,” he admits, more love and lust being taken from the hot-cracked place in his chest. 

 

Maybe that’s what his heart feels like; it would suit him. 

 

He shifts atop him, cock dragging over his belly. He hums happily against his mouth as he does so. 

 

He takes hold of his hands from his hair, and pulls them down to pin them against the blankets. 

 

He leans in to kiss his cheek, his jaw, and then his neck. “Are you ready?” he asks, voice molten-sugar hot. 

 

He nods eagerly and flexes his pinned hands. “More than ready,” he murmurs. “I’ve wanted you to fuck me for so long.”

 

He kisses his pulse. “Keep your hands there?” He prompts gently. He nods and clutches the blankets. “Good boy, you listen to me so well.” 

 

His hands withdraw. One of them braces on the blankets to keep him upright, while the other slides down to steady his cock while he’s sliding into him. 

 

Just the head breaching him makes Techno keen and arch his back. He’s so thick, gods. He can feel him stretching his hole, his walls, his insides moving aside as that perfect cock spears him. The stretching doesn’t really hurt, but there is a gentle ache of general strain. He likes it. 

 

It was worth it, to wait all this time. Gods, it was worth it. It was worth all those nights alone, fingering himself while imagining how his dearest friend would just fuck him senseless. 

 

“You feel so good,” Phil says, voice a bit rough. “Fit so well around my cock, Techno. Gods, I love you.” 

 

He flutters his at-some-point-closed eyes open and looks up at him with pleasure-drunk adoration. “Keep going,” he murmurs. “Please, more .”

 

He slides his hand up to his hip, gripping the soft flesh there. He keeps sinking into him, slow and careful, and he feels like he’s being driven insane. 

 

He exhales raggedly when he sinks fully into him, their bodies flush together in more than one way. 

 

Techno’s fingers dig into the blankets. “Fuck,” he says breathlessly. “You’re-- so fucking big .”

 

Phil chuckles and kisses him for a moment, lips warm and fleeting. “Feed my ego, why don’t you, he says, amused, and moves to press kisses to his cheeks, the scarred bridge of his nose, the hollow under his right eye. 

 

When he kisses the scar that crosses his eye and extends to his forehead, the one that damaged the clear red, he says in a slightly shakier voice, “You feel so good inside. So hot and tight, all for me. I’m lucky as hell.” 

 

His own smile is drunken and lovestruck and unbelievably turned on. He moves his legs to cross behind his back, locking him closer. “Bet it’d feel even better if you moved,” he murmurs, batting his eyelashes. 

 

He gives a wolfish grin, and nips at the curve of his jaw. “I could just stay like this, honestly,” he replies, shifting his hips just enough to send sparks through both of them and make them moan roughly, almost primal. “Just feeling how perfect you are…” He places one last kiss on his parted lips.

 

“Come on,” Techno whines a bit, tightening his legs around him. “Fuck me, please. Wanna feel it.” 

 

Brightness flickers in Phil’s eyes and he strokes his fingers along his hip. “Alright, don’t worry too much. I’ll fuck you, pretty boy.”

 

He almost blushes more at the petname, but his brain is promptly knocked offline when he adjusts his position, pulling out slightly, and then thrusting back in. 

 

“Fuck--” he chokes, gripping the blankets. “Phil, fuck .” 

 

His cock is so big, it drags along every sensitive place inside of him, and presses hard against the deepest part of him. 

 

“You’re so hot,” his partner says raggedly, gripping his hip with one hand and beginning to truly thrust into him, in a quick, deep rhythm. “So perfect, Tech. I’ve wanted this for so fucking long.” 

 

Every thrust makes it hard for Techno to even think . He’s so full and every nerve is on edge and his eyes are hot with tears of pleasure and love. 

 

He feels empty-headed with pleasure, but it’s good. It’s good because it’s Phil , who will take care of him, who will protect him, who will make him feel good. He trusts him. 

 

He grips the blankets above his head and rolls his hips into every thrust, determined to pull his weight here. Even if he just wants to go boneless, pliant, easily used. 

 

He shifts to plant both hands on either side of his head and leans down to kiss him. Every thrust is fast but deep and he can’t help but moan with every one.

 

He’s close, he realizes, which is a surprise, because he usually can’t cum just from penetration. That’s… fun. 

 

Phil kisses his lips messily, barely catching them because of how the thrusts move the two of us, and then moves down to kiss his jaw, his neck, his collarbone. “I love you,” he murmurs against his skin. “So much, Techno. Gods, I should have done this sooner-- fuck .” 

 

His pace picks up, and Techno feels the tears in his eyes brim over. “Love you,” he manages to get out between gasps. “Ah-- gods, fuck, bite me again, l-like before--” 

 

He doesn’t even have to get the words out before those slightly-sharp teeth are digging into his neck, just above his shoulder, deep enough to draw blood, making him moan at the perfect pain. At the same time, he fucks roughly into him, cock striking every sensitive nerve. 

 

He withdraws from the bite, licking up the blood, and then moves to the other side of his neck to bite again. “Mine,” he mumbles, and it’s possessive, but it’s sweet. Some primal part of Techno’s brain purrs at being claimed. 

 

“Mm, yours,” he agrees, and Phil kisses his latest bitemark, open mouthed to lick up the blood.

 

He wasn’t kidding, when he said he didn’t expect to be into biting. Gods, it feels so good. Everything is so good and he’s crying and he can’t imagine this being any better. This is perfect. 

 

Teeth scrape his collarbone, over a small scar. His hand roams his body, thumbing his nipple, petting the soft skin and hair of his inner thigh, trailing back up to the soft flesh of his stomach. He’s pointedly ignoring his stiff cock, twitching in time with how his body clenches down around him. 

 

Insufferable bastard, he loves him so much. 

 

Techno shifts his hands on the blankets, uncurling tight fists. “C-can I move my hands?” he asks, unsure why he’s so compelled to. Usually, he’d just do whatever he likes, but- but he was told to keep his hands next to his head. 

 

Phil traces his fingers along his pelvis, trailing them along the path of his body hair. “Mmmhm, go ahead. You can move them.” 

 

The permission, for some reason, makes his head feel more fuzzy. Huh. Maybe that’s something to look into. 

 

He slides one hand into his partner’s hair, cupping the back of his head, and drapes the other over his back, shaking fingers playing with his wings idly. 

 

His thrusts suddenly stop, his cock buried deep in him, and he groans against his neck. “Techno,” he says in a shaky but scolding voice. 

 

He grins a little, and sinks his fingers into his feathers, petting them. He hasn’t had something over him this whole time, mostly because he wasn’t confident enough and was too scared to do something so bold. But he knows that his wings are sensitive, that touching them is wildly intimate, and that touching them makes his lover feel really, really good. 

 

He outright moans this time, breathing getting shallow, and digs his fingers into his hip. “You’re being unfair,” he says heavily. 

 

Techno chuckles, which isn’t easy when he has his cock practically in his guts, but he’s always been able to manage in difficult situations. 

 

He strokes through his feathers and rocks their hips together. “Does it feel good?” he asks, sinking his fingertips into the feathers to find the soft skin below, gently rubbing it. 

 

Phil leans up and mouths at his earrings again, rolling his tongue over one of the metal-and-gemstone studs. 

 

He holds his hip, and begins thrusting again, harder, making him gasp and clutch at his feathers.

 

“It feels good, you’re so good,” he murmurs against his cheek. “Ah-- touch b-between them, between my wings--” 

 

Immediately, he moves to stroke and ruffles the feathers between his wings, along his back, trailing up to his neck, below his soft hair. “Like that?” he asks breathlessly. 

 

He nods against his temple, breathing heavily down his neck and occasionally moaning, low and intense, when he pets his feathers just right. “Such a good boy,” he murmurs. 

 

He’s surprised that the petname makes him jolt, cock throbbing, body fluttering around him. “Phil-- I’m close,” he manages to get out. 

 

“Yeah?” he asks, voice wrecked as his hands almost idly play with his feathers. “Gonna cum for me, like a good boy?” 

 

He moans and his ears fold down. His tail, which is underneath one of his legs, twitches wildly. “Y-yes, I’m gonna be good,” he says, voice whiny and unlike him. “I’m good for you--” 

 

“You’re so perfect,” he praises, sliding his fingers down his belly, dragging along his pubic hair, and then rubbing over his swollen cock. He whimpers and wraps both arms around his shoulders, digging into his skin now. “You feel so good around my cock, twitching and clenching like that…”

 

Techno feels fuzzy-headed with pleasure, gripping his shoulders tighter. “Keep going,” he moans softly, “please don’t stop--”

 

He leans up to kiss his ear again, not mouthing so intensely, just kissing gently. It feels good, softer, kinder. He loves the biting, the roughness, all of it, he trusts Phil to do that to him despite his experiences, but-- but the gentleness is good, too. So, so good--

 

He slows his deep thrusts, still stroking his cock gently as he rocks gently into him, now. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna stop,” he murmurs against his ear, voice low and soothing. 

 

It doesn’t take much more of that, his strong, familiar fingers rubbing him, his thrusts deep, pulling out just a little before rocking back in. As with almost every other thrust, it strikes every sensitive nerve, and he whimpers like an animal, unable to help it. 

 

Phil kisses his temple, moving his fingers to instead actually stroke his cock between his fingers. And that, that tips him over. 

 

It’s just the same as before, intense, his cunt tightening around his lover’s cock and his body jerking towards his. Everything goes tense and then breaks out of him through his cunt, the cracks in his chest, the soft noises that leave him. 

 

Techno whimpers and ducks his head down against Phil’s shoulder. 

 

He strokes and fucks him through it, hips angled just right, fingers perfectly settled against his cock. It keeps him feeling high as his orgasm is dragged out, digging his heels into his back, moaning. 

 

He doesn’t even stop when he begins to cry again, all pleasure, claws sinking into his shoulders and causing blood to well on him. He just murmurs comfort and praise, even if he’s overstimulating him steadily and he’s hurting him.

 

He kisses his temple, his cheek, the shell of his ear. “There you go,” he promises, against his skin. “Keep going for me, good boy.” 

 

Techno remembers that happy, primal feeling when Phil bit him, and while he’s touching him, over and over again, he leans forward and bites hard into the lean muscle of his neck, sharp teeth digging in, only his tusks not sinking into his skin. 

 

He groans against him and tilts his head to allow him the space to bite, moving his hand to grab his hip and his hips stuttering. 

 

He’s not at all surprised when hot cum floods inside of him, as he grinds against him, groaning. 

 

Techno releases him from his teeth, licking over the bite before falling heavily back onto the blankets, hands releasing his shoulders as well. Breathless, overstimulated, but unable to help himself, he thickly says “and you say I like pain too much.”

 

After a few moments of heavy breathing and slow grinding, Phil cracks an eye open and raises a brow down at him. “I can’t believe you,” he mumbles, leaning down to kiss him. 

Notes:

sorry if the writing varies in quality, i wrote this over the course of several months whenever i felt particularly Horny and/or inspired. also the ending is bad because i just kept wanting to write more lmao