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Home Is Where You Make It

Summary:

Based on the #WoLInterview prompts that I've been doing on Twitter (day 5 & 25), Fae delves into her past and explains to Thancred who she is and where she came from.

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Fae took a deep breath, leaning back in the chair at her desk as she ran a hand through her disheveled hair. She couldn’t believe that it was approaching four weeks since the Telophoroi’s towers had risen all across Eorzea and the world, and she was sitting in her room at the Rising Stones. Still, she knew that it would be a bad time to make a move without any advanced planning, especially against an opponent like Zenos or Fandanial. With that in mind, she waited. The other Scions had left to scout out the problem, but she had been asked to stay behind. Recently, she had been traveling between the First and the Source, continuing with her efforts to help the First until they were back on their feet. Truthfully, it didn’t take too long for them to stand tall on their own, so that left her a bit of time to spend in Mor Dhona. Of course, she had been occupying herself by helping the residents of the town, but even they seemed to be doing fine on their own.
Fae had finally obtained a bittersweet moment of silence and rest, but she honestly didn’t know how to feel about it. The rational side of her brain knew that she needed the break, but the irrational side told her that she should be doing more. She let out an exasperated groan, mussing up her hair and blowing out a breath through clenched teeth. Finally, she accepted defeat and rested her elbow on the desk, leaning her head on her hand while gazing forlornly at the monotone walls. She hated it whenever she had too much time to think… Her mind always wandered to the most forsaken of places: home. It wasn’t that she hated where she grew up or came from, but it was a place that she wasn’t particularly fond of anymore. She had no one there waiting for her anymore…
She didn’t know if Hydaelyn was looking out for her or what, but she didn’t have much time to dwell on home before there was a light knock at the door. She blinked, pushing out her chair as she maneuvered her way around it. She shivered lightly whenever her bare feet touched the cold, stone floor but she didn’t bother stopping to put her slippers on before opening the door. “Ye-?” Her voice stopped dead in its tracks as a familiar flash of white appeared in the doorway, and her lips broke into a relieved smile.
“Sorry to have kept you waiting,” Thancred said as he held out his arms, which Fae launched herself into without a second thought, laughing as he twirled her around in the doorway. “The others are on their way back as well… We bring news, but that can wait until everyone’s gathered.”
Fae nodded her head. “Okay…” she agreed as she nestled happily into Thancred’s arms as he walked them towards the bed, kicking the door closed with his foot. That didn’t sound particularly promising, but, for the moment, she refused to let herself care. Thancred was home, safe-and-sound, and that was all that was on her mind for that moment. Maybe that was selfish of her whenever the others were still gone, but she pushed that thought out of her mind. “Welcome home,” she finally said, closing her eyes as she rested her forehead against his own.
He chuckled, closing his eyes and pushing against her in return. “I couldn’t stay away for long…” He assured her, a momentary pout flitting across his face as she pulled away. He sat down on the bed with her in his lap, raising an eyebrow after a moment. “Taking a break?” He questioned.
“Something like that,” Fae admitted, attempting to hide the troubled expression on her face. Unfortunately for her, she and Thancred had been friends and partners for too long for that. She sighed, knowing that it would only be a moment or two before he asked what was wrong.
As if on cue, he furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you alright?” Of course, she knew that she didn’t have to tell him if she didn’t want to. He would respect that, but a part of her wanted to talk about it. There was just something about talking to Thancred that helped her process things more easily, but the very idea of talking about her home caused bile to rise up in the back of her throat. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Fae shook her head. “It isn’t that I don’t want to… I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
Thancred blinked, seeming a little surprised. “What have you been thinking about?”
Fae bit her lip, the bile rising higher in her throat until she could taste it. She forcefully swallowed it back down. “Home…”
Thancred was incredulous, the expression on his face speaking to bewilderment and disbelief. “Home?” He questioned as if the very thought of her having somewhere else to call home was impossible. She had to agree. Her home was the Rising Stones now, and she lived in that home with him. Though she had been considering buying a small plot of land in one of the big cities to live, away from the constant buzzing of the Rising Stones. While it wasn’t particularly a bad place to stay, there wasn’t all that much privacy, and she did hope that she and Thancred might be able to settle down somewhere one day.
“Yeah… Home… I mean, I had to come from somewhere, right?” Fae replied in mild amusement.
Thancred chuckled. “I suppose you may be right, but here I was thinking that you might have just fallen from the Heavens,” he replied coyly, bringing a blush to Fae’s cheeks. She didn’t dignify that with a response beyond pinching the slightly exposed skin around his neck between her fingernails. He flinched but he laughed and shrugged his shoulders, responding with the boyish smile that she had become so fond of.
She rolled her eyes, readjusting herself on his lap so that she could lay her head on his chest. He didn’t say a word, nuzzling the top of her head as he tightened his arms around her waist. “I lived on a small island off the coast of the Black Shroud,” she said finally, receiving an “Mmm” from Thancred that seemed to say “Pray, continue”. “It wasn’t a big island by any means, but it was big enough that we had everything that we needed… There was fertile farmland, game for hunting, and clean water to drink. We lived in harmony with the forest around us…”
“Do you miss it?”
Fae seemed to consider this questioned, taking a long time to formulate an answer. Finally, she shook her head. “Not particularly,” she admitted as she looked up at Thancred. He had a quizzical eyebrow cocked upwards as he watched her, waiting for her to continue. “It was nice, but, in the end, it wasn’t home,” she explained as he responded with an understanding nod. She gently moved a piece of hair out of her face before continuing. “Keepers of the Moon are mainly composed of matriarchal clans while Seekers of the Sun are the opposite, so it was really just me and my mother. My father would rarely come by to give my mother gifts of game or other things that he may have acquired from the gameland, but those visits were few and far between. I didn’t really know him, which isn’t particularly surprising in clans like ours…” she trailed off, frowning deeply as if she didn’t know how to continue.
“Forgive me, but it doesn’t sound like such a bad place… The expression on your face says otherwise though,” Thancred pointed out.
Fae pursed her lips, nodding her head after a moment as she decided how to continue. She looked up at Thancred, staring into his eyes as he looked down at her. “Tell me, Thancred, what is the first thing that you notice about me?”
This question seemed to surprise him before confusing him. He tilted his head, obviously wondering where this was going, but at least he decided to give her an answer. “Your eyes,” he admitted. She nodded her head, but he got the hint that she wanted him to elaborate. “Well, if I have to be honest, the difference between them is rather captivating,” he replied as his cheeks turned an almost invisible shade of pink. Fae thought that she might have been able to detect a hint of nervousness in his voice, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. “It’s as if you hold the world’s oceans and forests in your eyes…”
“Eyes like mine… They’re rare where I come from. I see it more often in Eorzea, but even now it’s still not something that I see every day,” Fae admitted. “Whenever a female is born on the island with eyes like mine, they’re revered as the vessel of Menphina herself. It’s like a brand…” she explained. “My already powerful connection with the moon and the stars only cemented the fact,” she continued. “I practically wanted for nothing and could act however I pleased, but the lifestyle was like a double-edged sword. I was hardly allowed to leave the village as the villagers thought that I needed to be protected at all times. Whenever I was older, I was forced into a leadership role of the clan as if it were my destiny. Whenever something good happened, the villagers claimed it was a blessing and praised me nonstop. Whenever something bad happened, they treated me as if I had cursed the entire village… They would spit at me, hit me, force me into solitude…”
“Fae…”
Fae looked away, closing her eyes as she leaned further into his embrace, finding comfort in the warmth. The warmth couldn’t stop the dreaded sense of shame slowly seeping into her entire being, but it kept her body from trembling for the moment. “I was only a child,” she whispered. “I didn’t understand… It wasn’t until much later that I realized how strange their behavior was and began to process it, but I still haven’t made it there yet. I likely never will,” she admitted. “I hated my eyes…”
She slowly opened her eyes again, and Thancred was forced to take note of the deep sadness swirling in their depths, but he didn’t say a word. “Maybe a little over a year ago, my mother passed away from illness. I miss her terribly, but, to me, her death was a blessing and a curse. I was alone in this world, but I finally had nothing holding me there anymore. After that night, it was as if the stars began to shine brighter than they ever had before. The moon called to me, beckoning me away from home... I took my bow and I disappeared into the night. I never looked back… I walked the roads of Eorzea from the Black Shroud to Thanalan, following the stars wherever they wanted to take me. You can imagine my surprise whenever the stars led me to this… puckish young rogue wearing a goofy set of goggles.” Fae couldn’t help but laugh at the mock insult on Thancred’s face. “That was quite the skirt chaser, no less…”
“N-now see here,” Thancred attempted to protest, feeling his face begin to heat up. “I would like to think that I have grown since then!”
Fae grinned and shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe a little,” she agreed. She was quiet for a long time before closing her eyes again, a soft yawn slipping between her lips despite her attempt to hide it. Talking with him, she felt better...
“How long has it been since you’ve slept?” Thancred asked dubiously. Fae simply shook her head, indicating that she either didn’t know or it had been too long for her to remember. He simply smiled after a moment, watching her settle into his arms before he stood up, transferring her to the bed. He slipped out of his coat and placed it on the desk, took off his boots and left them by the bed, and wiggled into bed beside her. “We still have time before the others arrive,” he assured her. She made her way over to him without hesitation, snuggling into the warmth of his body. “You should get some rest…”
“Maybe you’re right,” Fae agreed. “As long as you stay beside me…”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Thancred assured her, winding an arm around her side. A long moment of silence passed between them and Fae felt her consciousness slowly beginning to fade into darkness, but, just as she was on the verge of sleep, she heard his voice in a low murmur. “For what it’s worth… I love your eyes,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head before she faded completely into the void of sleep.