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Aleksander wasn't planning to doze off, but when he blinks his eyes open, he realizes that he had. He feels surrounded by such comfort that he closes his eyes again. It's like those first days of spring when the slant of the light changes enough to be noticeable, and the bright sunshine is warm on his skin even though it's still cold in the shade.
The warmth is Alina, her heartbeat under his cheek, her fingers stroking his hair. He wants to hold on to this moment, compress it into a gem, treasure it for the rest of his long years. If this is all he ever gets of her sweetness, he wants to remember it.
She strokes his cheek and gently tips his chin up to look at her, and he can feel the sunlight under her skin. Alina's presence is fond through their tether, and when she meets his eyes, her expression is soft.
He had come so, so close to losing her. He still might. She might disagree with his methods. There might be something in the future they could not compromise on, and she would fight him with all of the stubbornness and ferocity that had first drawn him to her.
"Look at me," she says, and he does. He realizes his mood is bleeding through the tether. "I'm here ." She strokes a hand down his arm and brushes the antler slice in his hand. The tether hums with the caress, a profound reassurance.
She smiles then. "I'm surprised Ivan let you sleep."
"He's been trying to get me to rest for a while. I'm guessing he's keeping interruptions away for once."
"You were emphatic about closing that tent flap, for sure. And besides, it doesn't sound like you can keep secrets from a heartrender," she says.
Aleksander laughs a little. "Not really. But he is...exceedingly discreet. Even Genya can barely get him to gossip."
"Well, that's good." Alina pauses. "You care about them, I can tell. Your Grisha." She pauses, cocks her head, and says like she's tasting the words, " Our Grisha."
He stares at her, tears in his eyes like when she said he wasn't alone. That's what she says to him again now, with her words and her presence.
"Yes, very much," he replies, affirming everything she said, hoping the bond between conveys what he can't put into words yet.
He shifts off of her and holds her to his chest then, and she nuzzles against his shoulder. The world outside the tent feels so vast and so full of possibilities for once.
"We can't stay here forever, can we?" she says after a bit.
"No, alas," he says. "For one, I have Fabrikators to direct, to build a second skiff."
"And I have to figure out how to be a saint," Alina says.
"I wouldn't know," Aleksander says with a bit of a smile. "But Genya should be here tomorrow, and at least she can help you look the part."
They clean themselves up and get dressed, finding clothing where it's been strewn across the floor. He feels each layer as he puts it on like armor, straightening his spine and hiding his heart. Alina watches him out of the corner of her eye while she rebraids her hair. He has a premonition then — them in their shared rooms, years from now, everything comfortable between them. And he hopes. Oh, he hopes.
When they're both dressed and presentable, they pause. It's a strangely formal moment, like a decorous farewell at the end of a Court ball. "Will you come back here tonight?" Aleksander asks, leaving space for her to say no.
"For dinner or for...more?" she asks with a grin that sparks desire in him all over again.
"For both. For either," he says.
"Yes, to both," she says, then raises an eyebrow. If Ivan is anywhere nearby, he won't be able to miss the way his heartbeat speeds up at that. "Or, you could come to my tent instead. I think the bed might be bigger."