Archive of Our Own ^beta

and I feel like my feeble body is rotting away. My room is dim, illuminated only by the lamp I have on my work desk. I roll over onto my back and prop the pillows up behind me so I may comfortably sit up. I rub my eyes and blink a few dozen times, and the fuzz lets up ever so slightly. I reach for my headband on the floor just beside my bed and

Wait.

Why was my headband on the floor? That goes on the bedside.

Hrm.









My head is throbbing.

Water is the obvious solution. There’s no way I’m getting up this century, though.



























Someone’s knocking on the door.

KANAYA: Rose
KANAYA: Rose Are You Awake
ROSE: ...
ROSE: Yeah.
ROSE: Come in.
ROSE: Don’t turn the light on, please.

Kanaya opens the door very slowly. I try to focus my ailed mind on the sound of mechanisms pushing, pulling and shifting. The sounds of the latch releasing, Kanaya pushing the door to the side. Her boots tapping against the metal hull floor of my dorm. My head feels just a little less foggy, but not by much. As Kanaya walks in and situates herself on the edge of my bed, I pull my legs up and realize I probably look like shit right now. The warm light of my lamp highlights the right side of her face, the glow dancing along her strong jawline. I throw my hands through my hair and tussle it a little bit, hoping that will convert my locks from “Just woke up messy” to “Hot, and more importantly, intentional messy.”

Who am I kidding? This is hopeless.

ROSE: Ugh.
ROSE: Is this a particularly coincidental visitation, or were you previously aware of my condition?
KANAYA: Hello
KANAYA: Previously Aware
KANAYA: I Was Worried About You
ROSE: I appreciate the concern.
ROSE: But I’m not sure I’m gonna be able to say another word without something to dull this pain.
KANAYA: Karkat Should Be Here With Some Painkillers Shortly
KANAYA: Its Just That The
KANAYA: Destruction
KANAYA: Has Sort Of Thrown The Organization Of Medication In The Cabinets Into Disarray
ROSE: Right.
ROSE: Guh. I feel fucking awful.
ROSE: Last night’s a blur.
ROSE: All I remember is you turning up here in the afternoon and...
ROSE: The rest is just fuzzy.
KANAYA: Well
KANAYA: I Was Present With You Yesterday
KANAYA: Would You Like Me To Explain
ROSE: Oh?
ROSE: Yeah. That’d help, thanks.
KANAYA: Well
KANAYA: We Had
KANAYA: What Could Possibly Be Described As If One Was To Objectively Analyze The Events That Occurred
KANAYA: A Date
ROSE: ...

I probably look like a massive fool with my mouth agape, but I just can’t close it.

ROSE: Seriously.
ROSE: ...
ROSE: You’re not fucking with me here.
KANAYA: Swear On The Mother Grubs Life
ROSE: ...
ROSE: Goodness.
ROSE: And you’re telling me I don’t remember what is essentially the best thing to happen to me in my twenties?
KANAYA: Ha Ha Erm
KANAYA: It Seems Not Rose
ROSE: ...
ROSE: Well.
ROSE: Did
ROSE: Did we kiss?

A heavy green blush falls over Kanaya’s face.

She nods rather meekly.

ROSE: Hah.
ROSE: I...
ROSE: Don’t really know what to say.
ROSE: That’s...
ROSE: Yeah.
ROSE: ...
ROSE: Would explain the dress I was apparently in, and seemingly went to bed in.
ROSE: The poor thing is creased now.
KANAYA: Its Ok The Creases Can Be Ironed Out
ROSE: I’m sure they can be.
ROSE: That’s almost funny, though.
ROSE: That we did that and I don’t recall.
ROSE: One might even call the icing on a cake.
KANAYA: What Do You Mean By That
ROSE: Kanaya, I
ROSE: Nevermind.
ROSE: Let’s nurse this headache of mine. Then we’ll talk.

I see a flash of worry on her face, but she quickly replaces it with her warm, slight smile. Kanaya leans over to me and tucks a few strands of hair out of my face, and it’s aggravating how good that feels. I hear a few belligerent knocks on the door, and I immediately know who it is. Kanaya calls something out in Alternian, and Karkat kicks the door open with a tray table in his hands.

KARKAT: ROSE.
ROSE: Karkat.
KARKAT: I HAVE AN ADVIL FOR YOU.
ROSE: Yeah. Great.
KARKAT: MILKSHAKE TO WASH IT DOWN, TOO.
KARKAT: I KNOW YOU LIKE THOSE AND ALL BUT IF THAT’S TOO HEAVY FOR THE MORNING THERE’S SOME WATER INSTEAD.
ROSE: I’ll try my luck with the milkshake. Thank you.
KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW IF KANAYA’S EXPLAINED WHAT HAPPENED OR IF SHE’S BEEN TOO BUSY BABYING YOU, BUT,
KANAYA:
KARKAT:
ROSE: ?
KARKAT: AHEM.
KARKAT: BUT YEAH. I CAN JUST TELL YOU MY SIDE AND THEN KANAYA CAN FILL IN ANYTHING I WASN’T THERE FOR.
KANAYA: Im Amicable To That
KANAYA: Are You
ROSE: Yeah, go ahead.
KARKAT: GOTCHA.
KARKAT: ALRIGHT, SO. AT ABOUT LET’S SAY UHHHH
KARKAT: EIGHT O’CLOCK AT NIGHT, KANAYA COMES RUSHING INTO THE WARD WITH YOU IN HER ARMS. YOU’RE UNCONSCIOUS.
KARKAT: I’VE GOT YOU IN THE WARD FOR ABOUT, AN HOUR?
KARKAT: JUST MAKING SURE YOU’RE NOT FUCKING DEAD OR WHATEVER, AND YEAH, YOU’RE JUST UNCONSCIOUS.
ROSE: Right.
ROSE: Well. That’s certainly not as glamorous as I was expecting.
KANAYA: Were You Expecting Something Heroic
ROSE: Perhaps I wanted a courageous tale wherein I slay the root myself and immediately fall unconscious from being too much of a badass.
ROSE: Is that too much for a twenty-seven year old to fantasise about?
KANAYA: Hehe
KARKAT: YEAH. I’M AFRAID THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED.
KARKAT: I WAS JUST CHECKING YOUR VITALS, REALLY.
KARKAT: MOST THINGS WERE COMPLETELY FINE, BUT SOME WERE PRETTY FUCKING WORRYING.

Comforting.

KARKAT: BUT THAT’S BASICALLY ALL I KNOW.
KARKAT: IN HINDSIGHT, I BASICALLY HAD JACK SHIT ALL TO CONTRIBUTE TO THIS BEYOND MEDS AND A LITTLE ANECDOTE, SO I’LL BE TAKING MY LEAVE.
KARKAT: HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER, ROSE.
ROSE: Thank you, Karkat.

Karkat briefly pats me on the shoulder and gets up to leave. Kanaya sidles a little closer and rests her hands in her lap. Her brow is furrowed, like she’s struggling to say something.

KANAYA: So
KANAYA: Would You Like Me To Shed Light On Our Time Together
ROSE: Mhm. Let’s get it over with.
ROSE: Karkat seemed pretty eager to leave, so I’m expecting embarrassment.
KANAYA: Mhm
KANAYA: I Will Refrain From Making Any Judgements And Simply Recount The Day
KANAYA: You Invited Me To Your Dorm In The Afternoon To Have Lunch Together
KANAYA: I Thought It To Be A Relatively Innocuous Excursion Shared By Two Friends However You Were Dressed A Lot More Formally Than I Was
ROSE: Ohh.
ROSE: Hm.
ROSE: I... think I remember that?
ROSE: Yeah, yeah. You thought the fabric was pleasant.
ROSE: Heh.
KANAYA: It Was!
KANAYA: It Was Delightfully Soft And Clearly Well Made
ROSE: Thank you kindly.
KANAYA: But Yes
KANAYA: You Took A Box With Us To The Cafeteria And We Had An Agreeable Lunch
KANAYA: We Then Went For A Stroll And Decided To Watch The Stars Together
KANAYA: You Can Probably Extrapolate What Happened Thereon
ROSE: Probably.
ROSE: We made out and I somehow hit my head really hard and fell unconscious.
KANAYA: Erm
KANAYA: Well Id Say Specifically Made Out Is A Little
KANAYA: Extreme
KANAYA: But Thats More Or Less Correct
ROSE: Sorry if that made you uncomfortable. I don’t have a filter right now on the account of the splitting headache.
KANAYA: No No Its Fine

She’s blushing again.

KANAYA: But Yes That Is Essentially All That Happened
ROSE: Thrilling sequence of events, but it doesn’t really explain why I feel like shit.
KANAYA: Right Yes
KANAYA: I Wanted To Leave A Detail Until Last
KANAYA: Remember The Box I Mentioned You Carrying

I visualise the box to try and remember it. It’s innocuous, as boxes typically are. It’s white cardboard, with some sort of logo that I can’t discern. Similarly, there are coloured contents at the top that are just as fuzzy. Getting somewhere, though.

ROSE: Was it white?
KANAYA: Mhm
ROSE: Green looking logo?
KANAYA: Mhm
KANAYA: It Seems To Be Coming Back To You Then
ROSE: Yup. Not completely gone yet.
KANAYA: Well
KANAYA: If You Mostly Remember What The Box Looked Like
KANAYA: I Can Just Tell You That The Contents Were Vodka Cruisers
ROSE: WHAT

Kanaya’s eyes widen and she jolts back a bit at my reaction.

I sink down into my bed and cover my face with my hands. My chest is burning white hot and I can feel my teeth gritting unconsciously

ROSE: Oh god.
ROSE: No.
ROSE: No.
ROSE: No no no no PLEASE tell me you’re just fucking with me
ROSE: Oh good Lord.
KANAYA: Oh Goodness
KANAYA: I Wasnt Expecting This Kind Of Reaction Im
KANAYA: Im Sorry Rose
ROSE: ...
ROSE: Great.
ROSE: I drank! I fucking drank!


ROSE: After all these years successful, I cracked at the slightest bit of pressure.
ROSE: I’ve been fucking sober since I was twenty-two, and this is what I let finally kick me off the wagon again.
ROSE: So much progress that, clearly, I couldn’t even remember what a hangover fucking feels like!
ROSE: God. It’s all so clear now. Cotton mouth, throbbing head, no memory, I’m a fucking fool for not realising it sooner.




ROSE: Hah. Off the wagon.
ROSE: Y’know. She used to say that.
KANAYA: Rose
KANAYA: Please Try To Take Deep Breaths It Will Be Ok
ROSE: No it fucking won’t be!
ROSE: I fucked up, Kanaya.
ROSE: Royally.
ROSE: ...
KANAYA: ...

Silence hangs between the two of us for what seems like hours. I feel like I have so much to say, but it’s so hard to swallow this lump in my throat. Even harder to swallow is a boiling shame eating at my insides from the stomach up.

ROSE: ...
ROSE: Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve been so wary of becoming like my mother.
ROSE: I loved her, but I never wanted to be like her.
ROSE: The closest I got was in college.
ROSE: That was the lowest I’ve ever been.


ROSE: Even she didn’t want me to be like her.
ROSE: ...




ROSE: Like mother like daughter, I guess.
ROSE:
KANAYA: I Think This Is More Than The Slightest Bit Of-
ROSE: Just. Quiet, please.
ROSE: I’m already fucked up enough about breaking my five year streak.









ROSE: Why did you wait until the very end to tell me?
ROSE: I probably would’ve reacted the same, but maybe it’d have been nicer to have ripped the Bandaid off immediately.
ROSE: And on that note, why was Karkat so eager to leave once he’d done what he had to do?
ROSE: ...
ROSE: Are you hiding something?
KANAYA: What No I
ROSE: I’d say we’re really rather close, Kanaya.
ROSE: But if I find out that you did something to me whilst I was smashed, so help me fucking God I’ll-
KANAYA: Rose
ROSE: Well? Did you?
ROSE: Fucking spit it out already.
KANAYA: ROSE.
KANAYA: Just
KANAYA: Please
KANAYA: Stop
KANAYA: This Isnt Productive And You Arent Giving Me An Opportunity To Explain Myself
KANAYA: No Of Course I Didnt Do Anything To You That Would Be Repulsive
KANAYA: I Took You To Karkat After The Kiss
KANAYA: Which I Might Add Was Completely Unexpected And Initiated By You
KANAYA: I Dont Mean That In A Sense To Place Blame Or Show How Everything Is Somehow Actually Clearly Your Fault
KANAYA: Just That I Did Not Try To Instigate Anything With The Knowledge That You Were Not In Full Control Of Your Faculties
KANAYA: And Then I Returned You To Your Dorm After He Gave Me The Green Light And Then Nothing Else
KANAYA: Just
KANAYA: Please Stop And Try To Take A Moment
KANAYA: This Isnt The End




ROSE: ...
ROSE: I’m.
ROSE: I’m sorry.
ROSE: Really, sorry.
ROSE: That.
ROSE: That was out of line.
ROSE: I just.
ROSE: I cracked, I guess.
ROSE: I’m scared.
ROSE: I’m really scared, Kanaya.
ROSE: That’s just all there is to say. I’m at a loss.
ROSE: I
ROSE: It’s so hard to admit that I don’t know what I’m doing.
ROSE: But I don’t.
ROSE: I never have, and I never will. I’m scared.
KANAYA: Mm
KANAYA: Mhm
KANAYA: Unfortunately
KANAYA: It Happens
KANAYA: Stress Does Things To You Rose
KANAYA: Im Sorry To Hear That
KANAYA: Do You Mind If I Recall An Anecdote
ROSE: Go ahead, I guess.
KANAYA: Well
KANAYA: When I Was In College Working For My Degrees On Aerospace And Mechatronic Engineering
KANAYA: I Uh
KANAYA: Smoked Rather Heavily Ha Ha
KANAYA: I Dont Remember How Many Packs I Was Going Through By The Week At Its Absolute Peak But I Can Make The Educated Guess That It Was Probably Enough To Be Pretty Expensive For A College Student
KANAYA: I Do Specifically Remember Borrowing Money A Couple Of Times Just To Accomodate It
ROSE: Ah.
ROSE: I’m sorry to hear.
KANAYA: Thank You
KANAYA: I Was Just Horrifically Stressed With Workloads And That Combined With Doubt Regarding Whether I Even Wanted This Career Along With Unrealistic Expectations From My Lusus
KANAYA: It Wasnt Fun
ROSE: Unrealistic expectations?
ROSE: Fuck me, you’re an astronaut. That’s an extremely difficult job to obtain. What more could they want?
KANAYA: Ah Well
KANAYA: It Wasnt Like When Your Parents Want You To Be A Doctor
KANAYA: It Was Sort Of The Opposite
KANAYA: Im A Jadeblood As You Are Likely Aware And There Is A Rather Disproportionate Amount Of Jadeblood Caretakers In The Brooding Caverns
ROSE: Brooding caverns.
ROSE: Right. Sort of like the communal troll birthing ground slash nursery, correct?
KANAYA: Rather Human Explanation But Yes Thats About Right
ROSE: Sorry.
KANAYA: Oh No Its Ok You Werent Rude Or Anything
KANAYA: Anyways
KANAYA: Jadebloods Used To Be Forced Into Brooding Cavern Duty Before The Twenty First Century But This Was Officially Phased Out Around Two Thousand And Nine I Believe
KANAYA: The Pressure Still Exists Though
KANAYA: And My Lusus Loved Me
KANAYA: But She Just Wanted Me To Go Be A Custodian Like A Good Little Jadeblood
KANAYA: Oh None Of This Aerospace Engineer Nonsense
KANAYA: Go Care For Little Wrigglers My Darling
KANAYA: I Can Barely Fucking Take Care Of Myself









KANAYA: Ugh
KANAYA: Sorry
KANAYA: Got Fired Up
KANAYA: I Dont Want To Take Attention Away From Your Struggles
ROSE: Kanaya, with all due respect and with full appreciation for the concern that you have,
ROSE: Please fucking take my focus away from my struggles. I can barely think.
KANAYA: Ok


KANAYA: I Guess Now With The Hindsight Of Being Further Into Adulthood
KANAYA: I Do Sort Of See The Value Of Employment As A Custodian
KANAYA: But I Could Never Actually Do It Myself As A Job
KANAYA: Even If Now I Do Think I Would Enjoy Taking Care Of One Of My Own
ROSE: Hm?
KANAYA: Like
KANAYA: My Own Grub
KANAYA: A Child In Human Terms
ROSE: Ah. Right.
KANAYA: Anyways I Am Digressing
KANAYA: You Arent Here To Listen To My Dreams Of Domesticity
KANAYA: It Didnt Help Throughout College That I Was Raised By A Virgin Mother Grub
ROSE: Virgin mother grub?
KANAYA: A Mother Grub Who Is Unfit For Propagation
KANAYA: They Are Somewhat Common And They Just Sort Of Vibe
ROSE: Right.
ROSE: That sounds stressful. I’m sorry to hear that, Kanaya.




ROSE: Is it wrong of me to say that this part of your story is comforting to know?
KANAYA: Not At All
KANAYA: That Is Squarely Why I Told It To You About It
ROSE: Right.
ROSE: Well.
ROSE: Thank you.
ROSE: I’m still bitterly disappointed in myself.
ROSE: But, hey.
ROSE: I’m not alone. That’s nice.
KANAYA: Mhm No You Are Not
KANAYA: And With Regards To Your Problem
KANAYA: Addiction Is Just As Much Environmental As It Can Be Anything Else
KANAYA: I Remember Last Night You Drunkenly Slurring Something About Being Just Like Your Mother
KANAYA: And Your Ruminations About Her Today Confirm My Suspicions Of Her Falling Into Alcoholism Too
ROSE: Hah. A sleuth.
ROSE: You’re right, though.
ROSE: Hard worker, harder drinker.
KANAYA: Yes
KANAYA: I Suppose What Im Trying To Say Is
KANAYA: This Stigma That Is Attached To Addiction
KANAYA: Is Bullshit Really
KANAYA: Being Addicted To A Substance Isnt A Case Of Moral Failing
KANAYA: In My View Its A Case Of Environmental Unsuitability
KANAYA: I Just Want You To Know That You Havent Failed Rose
KANAYA: Recovery Is Never Linear And Often You Backslide Multiple Times Before You Can Fully Recover
KANAYA: Youre Going To Be Okayyyoh What Are
KANAYA: Err
KANAYA: Well

I don’t know why I decided to fling myself into her arms, but that’s what I’ve decided to do.

That’s a lie, actually. Of course I know why.

I am so wholly, wholly taken with this woman.

I'm so in love that it hurts. Stings. Aches. Hurts that I can't stay like this forever. Hurts that I cannot simply meld myself to her, unclear where my flesh ends and hers begins. That same white hot flame bursts in my gut and up my chest again, but this time I know it isn't negative. My insides churn and stir and mangle, like some sort of twisted attempt to somehow, somehow become one with the woman before me.

She gingerly hugs me back. I feel like I’m going to start crying again.

ROSE: I
ROSE: I really needed to hear all of that.
ROSE: Thank you so much, Kanaya.
ROSE: I think deep down I knew all of this, but it helps immensely to be reminded of it.
ROSE: Ahem.
ROSE: You’re a good hugger.
KANAYA: Thanks I Get That A Lot
KANAYA: My Hypothesis Is That It Is The Biceps But I Do Not Exactly Know For Sure
ROSE: That’s a decent guess, I’d say.
ROSE: ...
ROSE: I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself for what happened.
ROSE: But it’s nice to know I have people to care for me.
KANAYA: Of Course Rose I Am Here For You
KANAYA: And So Is Jade She Is Extremely Fond Of You And Would Be More Than Enthusiastic To Help
KANAYA: She Is Your Friend And I Am Your
KANAYA: Hm
KANAYA: Actually
KANAYA: Given That We Kissed Last Night But It Was Under The Influence
KANAYA: Maybe Lets Talk About
KANAYA: That
ROSE: Oh, right.

It’s almost painful having to untangle myself from her embrace.

ROSE: I do remember wanting to speak about that at the start of this conversation.
KANAYA: Quite
KANAYA: So I Suppose The Question Is
KANAYA: Given Your Newly Found Hindsight On Last Night
ROSE: Nice rhyme.
KANAYA: Hehe
KANAYA: Rose Please This Is Serious
ROSE: Alright, alright.
KANAYA: That Rhymes Too
ROSE: Heh. I suppose so.
KANAYA: Anyways
KANAYA: With Hindsight Gained The Question Is Do You Think You Truly Meant That Last Night Or Was It Simply The Soporifics Acting
ROSE: Well.
ROSE: That’s a good question.
ROSE: Knowing my... habits from earlier in my life.
ROSE: I was probably indulging because of both stress and nerves.
ROSE: Nerves caused by, among other things, the notion of a date with you.
ROSE: So...
ROSE: Yeah. I think it’s likely that I meant it.
KANAYA: Mhm Mhm
KANAYA: And What Would You Like It To Mean
ROSE: Mm?
KANAYA: Like
KANAYA: Is It A One Off Occurrence That You Did Mean In The Moment But Now Do Not Exactly Wish Anything To Come Of It
KANAYA: Or Did You Want Something
KANAYA: More
ROSE: Well...

I lean forward and cup Kanaya’s cheek with my right hand, stroking it with my thumb. The tiniest of hitched breaths escapes her mouth, and it’s really cute. I would mentally comment on the little blush that has descended over her face once more, but that would probably stand to be a bit hypocritical of me. We both continue to lean in until our foreheads are touching, and I can feel the lukewarm of her skin cooling me down.

Ice to a flame.

ROSE: That’s the only thing I am certain about.
ROSE: ...
ROSE: People are messy.
ROSE: I’m no different.
ROSE: It’s hard to have any idea of what I’m actually doing, but there’s one idea I do have.
KANAYA: And
KANAYA: What Is
KANAYA: That
ROSE: If you’ll have me, I want you to take me.
ROSE: Please. Kanaya.
ROSE: If I have to die here, I’m happy to die with you.

Kanaya places her hand on my waist, and our lips connect.

KARKAT: AHEM.
KARKAT: JADE?
JADE: i’m here!
KARKAT: DAVE?
DAVE: ayup
KARKAT: SOL?
SOLLUX: ye22um.
KARKAT: KANAYA?
KARKAT: ...
KARKAT: KANAYA FUCKING MARYAM.
KARKAT: KANAYA!!!
KARKAT: OH GOD NO NO.
KARKAT: SHIT ROSE ISN’T HERE EITHER.
KARKAT: IT’S ONLY BEEN TWO DAYS YOU’RE FUCKING KIDDING
KARKAT: (I WAS WITH THEM A COUPLE HOURS AGO...)
SOLLUX: kk calm the fuck down.
SOLLUX: ii dont feel anythiing out of the ordiinary.
SOLLUX: or at lea2t a2 ordiinary a2 we can get.
SOLLUX: what about you jade?
JADE: yeah i’m really not getting anything either u_u
KARKAT: I DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE SOLLUX CAPTOR AND JADE HARLEY TRAVELLING FORTUNE TELLERS BOOTH!!!!
KARKAT: YOU TWO AND YOUR PSIONIC BULLSHIT IS NO MATCH FOR HARD EVIDENCE THAT SOMEONE IS MISSING.
KARKAT: HOW ABOUT YOU TWO “FEEL” MY FIST IN YOUR FUCKING FACE AFTER OUR SEARCH FOR THOSE TWO COME UP EMPTY??
JADE: hehehehehehe
SOLLUX: heh.
DAVE: look karkat
DAVE: jade and sol are puttin something down that im picking up but you clearly arent
DAVE: so let me clear this up for you
DAVE: as rose lalondes cousin who is in the loop about all things her
DAVE: all im saying is
DAVE: taking all factors of the disappearances into consideration
DAVE: its no surprise shes not here rn
KARKAT: AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!
DAVE: just trust
KARKAT: LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING AB-
KANAYA: Hey Everyone

as dave finishes talking, the scanner to the atrium trills and the door slides open. rose and kanaya are both standing in the doorway, and they both look... weird. rose’s lipstick is a bit messy, and they both have tousled hair. rose waves at me and walks toward me to sit.

DAVE: YUP what did i fucking say bro
KARKAT: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!!!! THAT WAS MY ENTIRE POINT DIPSHIT.
KARKAT: AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’RE ACTING SO FUCKING SMUG AND VICTORIOUS.
ROSE: Morning.
KARKAT: THERE YOU TWO ARE. JESUS.
KANAYA: I Apologize For Our Lack Of Punctuality
KANAYA: Just Two Weeks Ago I Was Chewing Out Jade For The Very Same Thing Ha Ha
JADE: hehehe
JADE: rose hi!!
JADE: where were you?
JADE: dave was kinda implying that i knew where you were? i don’t know what he meant by that hehe
JADE: i just had confidence in my psionics :p
ROSE: Oh, I just slept in.
ROSE: I know. Shocking conduct considering the circumstances. I am truly sorry.
JADE: heheheh be quiet it’s really not an issue
JADE: i’m just glad you’re okay!
JADE: ...
JADE: hey...
JADE: what’s with that?
ROSE: Hm?
JADE: that!!!

i point at the side of rose’s neck. there’s a bandaid. she brushes her fingers against it and clears her throat.

ROSE: This?
ROSE: Ah, well.
ROSE: It’s...
ROSE: Fuck.
ROSE: I was banking on you not noticing that, and I can’t spin a convincing lie after the events that just transpired.
ROSE: My brain really isn’t at full capacity, forgive me.
JADE: quit alluding! gimme the deeeets
ROSE: I suppose I could.
ROSE: The cat is out of the bag, anyway. It’d be foolish to continue weaving this web of self-effacing bullshit.
JADE: >:p
ROSE: Well, Jade. My dearest friend.
ROSE: I suppose you could say that...
ROSE: I was introduced to the keenness of troll teeth the hard way.
JADE: :O?????
JADE: holy shit what??
JADE: ...
JADE: ....did you and kanayaaaaa
JADE: y’knowwwwwwwww...
JADE: nudge nudge
ROSE: Jade!
JADE: hehehehe what!!!
JADE: YOU’RE the one telling me that she
JADE: (that she bit your neck!!!!)
ROSE: (Keep your voice down, she’s right over there!)
KARKAT: SOMETHING YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE CLASS, ROSE?
ROSE: Excuse me?
ROSE: Did I fall out of the airlock and stumble into eighth grade homeroom?
ROSE: I believe I am entitled to a gossip session with my “bestie”, as it were.
JADE: :]
KARKAT: WHATEVER.
KARKAT: JUST TELL ME WHO YOU FUCKWITS ARE PAIRING UP WITH. I’M NOT EVEN MAD THAT YOU FLAKED ON THE HEADCOUNT ANYMORE.
ROSE: Hmm, well-
JADE: oh karkat i think it’d be a really good idea to split into threes today!
JADE: there’s less work and we could just kind of hang out in groups while still keeping an eye on each other!
KARKAT: THE FUCK DO I CARE? AS LONG AS WE’RE KEEPING EACH OTHER ALIVE.
KARKAT: GO APESHIT. LITERALLY MY ONLY CONDITION IS THAT NO ONE IS ALONE FOR EVEN A SECOND.
JADE: ok hehe!
JADE: anyways
JADE: rose!
ROSE: Hm?
JADE: soooooooo

JADE: gimme the scoop!
DAVE: huh what
ROSE: Well, you see.
DAVE: wait jade oh my god did you get rose and me together in one room just to
JADE: gossip!! :]
DAVE: is there a timeline where i didnt have that seventh birthday party and in that timeline im not listening to this in a broken spaceship
JADE: wasn’t it your thirteenth?
DAVE: it was both actually
DAVE: we stopped talking like after high school-ish
DAVE: girl your memory is bupkis
JADE :o
DAVE: remember that time we dated for like a year in 11th grade
JADE: HUH?????
DAVE: yeah we both had chemistry and you confessed by asking our teacher if we could stay back after school with supervision and upfront information about what we were doing
DAVE: she said yes you made a solution with some sodium hydroxide and then dipped a piece of paper that had invisible ink on it activated by base
DAVE: it said “movie on friday?” with a heart as the dot of the question mark
JADE: oh my gosh wait....
JADE: no i DO remember that!!!
JADE: ahahah oh my gosh
JADE: and we saw some vintage screening of halloween??
JADE: the 2018 one!
DAVE: yeah
JADE: i definitely picked that hehe
JADE: aahhh god that base thing though...
JADE: that’s embarrassing >_>
DAVE: nah its cool
DAVE: i know i found it endearing back then
DAVE: we were dumb teens its chill lol
JADE: i guess so....
JADE: you know it’s actually really nice that we’ve been reconnecting when we apparently have all this history that i just barely remember???
JADE: i hardly remember my childhood at all! i feel bad that i don’t remember unless you prompt me u_u
DAVE: nah jade dont sweat it
DAVE: i literally only remembered because i was prompted by seeing you during the orientation
DAVE: besides its caused by the psionic thing isnt it
JADE: i think so! as well as just transgender brain fog haha
DAVE: then yeah see youve got reasons why you dont remember shit
DAVE: its cool im not offended or whatever
DAVE: its like
DAVE: idk
DAVE: cool to see you ig
DAVE: uh
DAVE: missed you idk
JADE: aw dave!
JADE: i think it’s nice to see you again too :]
DAVE: jesus that was really fucked up
DAVE: what i just said
DAVE: right there
DAVE: dont acknowledge it
JADE: oh shush
ROSE: Ahem.
DAVE: whoops
ROSE: I believe you all wanted to hear about my personal developments?
JADE: yes i do!!!
DAVE: sure i guess whatever
ROSE: Don’t be a bitch, Dave. I know you’d be asking if Jade hadn’t already solicited you into the listening group.
DAVE: no comment
DAVE: damn maybe im just interested in my cousins life fucking sorry i guess
DAVE: maybe ill never talk to you again rose hows that sound actually dont answer that i know what youre gonna say
JADE: you should be sorry i think!
JADE: wow, it really took me putting you into the same room by force to listen to rose???? :/
DAVE: man
ROSE: Now that Dave has properly repented, get this.
ROSE: You will never believe what happened.













DAVE: did you guys kiss or something
ROSE: Yes.
DAVE: was there tongue
ROSE: Lots.
DAVE: yo
DAVE: nice



KARKAT: YOU TWO DID WHAT??
KANAYA: Ha
KANAYA: Yes
SOLLUX: goddamn, kn.
KARKAT: FUCKING GO YOU!!!!
KARKAT: I MEAN, I COULD HAVE PRETTY EASILY EXTRAPOLATED THAT FROM YOU BRINGING ME ROSE’S UNCONSCIOUS BODY IN A FUCKING PROM DRESS LAST NIGHT, BUT STILL!
KANAYA: Wouldnt Take A Sleuth
KARKAT: SO WHAT WAS THE KISS LIKE?
KARKAT: WAS IT SORT OF FLEETING AND IN A PASSING MOMENT, OR WAS IT LIKE AN “I MUST HAVE YOU NOW” KIND OF THING?
KANAYA: Well It Was Very Intense And Quite Unorthodox You See
KANAYA: Our Foreheads Were Together And She Was Talking About How
KANAYA: If She Has To Die
KANAYA: Shes Happy To Die Here With Me
KANAYA: And Thats When She Kissed Me
KANAYA: And Then Pushed Me Down And Got On Top Of Me
KARKAT: OHHHH... I SEE.
KARKAT: INTERESTING. NOW, WAS IT JUST LIKE, SOME QUICK MAKING OUT OR SOMETHING?
KARKAT: ROSE WASN’T FUCKING FOOLING ANYONE WITH THAT BANDAID, SO I ASSUME THERE WAS SOME TEETH ACTION.
SOLLUX: through all the 2hoo2h pappiing 2he2 2ubjected my poor 2oul two her liikiing beiing biit never came up.
KARKAT: PFFT.
KARKAT: YEAH I FUCKING WONDER WHY BUDDY.
SOLLUX: 2urely not the kiinda-pale-kiinda-ju2t-not-really-fiitting-any-2ociial-conventiion relatiion2hiip.
KARKAT: THAT AND YOUR TEETH WOULD PROBABLY SHATTER IF THEY MET FLESH.
KARKAT: EVEN SQUISHY HUMAN FLESH.
SOLLUX: eheheheh ii mean.
SOLLUX: yeah ii cant argue with that.
SOLLUX: iim a fraiil and 2iickly liitle freak. ii cant deny iit even iif iit2 comiing your dump2ter 2hoot of word2.
KARKAT: HEHEH. FUCK YOU.
KARKAT: ANYWAYS KANAYA!
KARKAT: GIVE ME THE SCOOP ON THE TEETH ACTION.
KANAYA: Umm
KANAYA: Ha
KARKAT: WAS IT LIKE SOME HUMAN BULLSHIT VAMPIRE FANTASY? OR MAYBE LIKE-
SOLLUX: jegus kk.
SOLLUX: ii mean ii totally get beiing iintere2ted iin a friiend2 sociial development2.
SOLLUX: but do you really have two griill kn about how exactly and iin what tiime 2iignature 2he rearranged-
KANAYA: Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Hey
KANAYA: A Mite Fucking Personal No
KANAYA: Calm Down
KARKAT: HEY, YOU’RE THE ONE WHO STARTED TELLING US ABOUT YOUR LITTLE FLING!
KANAYA: Oh My Gog
KANAYA: Yeah Well Sorry For Thinking That I Could Just Talk About My New Relationship Without Being Poked And Prodded I Guess
KANAYA: That Is So Embarrassing I Simply Refuse To Say Anything More




ROSE: ...we also did that as well, and etcetera.
JADE: that’s so coooool!
DAVE: goddamn
DAVE: no fucking shame ig
ROSE: Why in God’s name would I ever be meek and modest about landing a beautiful, tall, muscular troll woman?
ROSE: She’s a fucking Amazon, Dave.
DAVE: ok fair
DAVE: go you casanova
DAVE: i guess datenight with drunky worked after all
ROSE: That it did, I suppose.
ROSE: As much as I detest that I drank last night...
ROSE: I don’t think I could have ever mustered up the courage to kiss her at first without it.
JADE: that makes sense yeah!
JADE: i think it’s ok to be happy that you were able to muster the courage somehow, even if the method wasn’t really ideal!
JADE: it’s just important to stay critical y’know :p
ROSE: That’s about how I’m feeling about it, yes.
ROSE: Thankfully, she was fine with it as well, and understood my plight.

KANAYA: We Talked About Our Respective College Lives And She Understood My Specific Plight
KARKAT: OOOOH...
KARKAT: WELL GODDAMN.
KARKAT: IF WE EVER GET OFF THIS SHIP WITH OUR LIVES, YOU TWO ARE GONNA HAVE A FUCKING HELL OF A STORY!!!!
KANAYA: Ha Ha
KANAYA: I Suppose So
SOLLUX: gue22 you could 2ay that love bloom2...
SOLLUX: on the battle fiield.
SOLLUX:
KARKAT: ...
KANAYA: ...
KANAYA: What
SOLLUX: come on. liike.
SOLLUX: the root2 organiic. iit2 a plant. iit2 dangerou2.
SOLLUX: plant2 grow and bloom iin fiield2. iit2 not fuckiing rocket 2ciience.
KANAYA: Well If It Isnt Rocket Science Then I Think That The Fact That Two Astronauts Could Not Understand Your Joke Is A Problem
SOLLUX: fuck you guy2.

i kneel down beside kanaya as she pulls out a faded red bag, overflowing with tools. her calloused hands find two wrenches, placing one in front of me as she unclasps an engine panel.

KANAYA: Tell Me Jade Have You Ever Worked With A Two Stroke Engine Before
JADE: uhhhh
JADE: i've used a chainsaw before!
JADE: like... once @_@
KANAYA: No Wonder We Are Such Good Friends
KANAYA: I Take It That You Also Know How To Refuel One Then
JADE: well i know it's some really weird mixture! but i don't know like, any actual specifics?
JADE: i wasn’t the one who refueled it xP
KANAYA: Well As Long As You Are Familiar With The Concept Of A Mixture
KANAYA: Listen Closely Ok
JADE: ok :]
KANAYA: So Essentially To Fuel A Two Stroke Motor You Must Mix Petrol With Oil To A Generally Fifty To One Ratio
KANAYA: It Varies But Luckily This Engine Takes Fifty To One So That Doesnt Matter
KANAYA: Somehow In A World Of Proprietary Algae Biofuel And Galvan Crystals We Are Still Using Two Stroke Engines As Backup Generators
KANAYA: But I Digress
KANAYA: Anyways The Reason For The Mixture Is Because Unlike A Four Stroke Motor Which Has The Crankcase Separate From The Rest Of The Engine Besides Ventilation A Two Stroke Engine Has The Crankcase Part Of The Induction System And Thus The Oil Must Be With The Fuel As Well To Provide Engine Lubrication
KANAYA: If You Do Not Use Oil In The Mixture The Engine Will Not Function Properly Because Obviously Engines Need Lubrication As Well As Bluh Blah Blah Blah Blah Bluh Bluh Bluh Blah Bl-

okay so, i need to mix fuel with oil? the backup bit in the engine compartment is pretty small, so i probably wont have to grab too much from the storage closet... oh but what if i need more! i cant take any chances i really have to grab a couple of jerry c

KANAYA: Ahem
JADE: wwhuh
KANAYA: Jade My Eyes Are Up Here
KANAYA: And The Engine Is Down There
KANAYA: Therefore I Can Say With A Pretty Significant Amount Of Confidence That Neither Of These Points Of Interest Lie At My Cleavage
JADE: OH JESUS FUCK IM SORRY AAHH I WAS DAYDREAMING I PROMISE
JADE: SORRY YES RIGHT RIGHT FUEL OIL FIFTY TO ONE BYE

oh my god i jump up and speed walk to the supply closet as kanaya shakes her head and...

smiles to herself? huh.

i come up to the closet and yank the door open. the number of repairs in recent days are definitely starting to show; the shelves are more barren than the last time i was here. i crouch down and push some boxes to the side, finding the jerry cans below the lowest shelf on the right. they have a little picture of algae on them! that’s so silly. i carry one in my hand and the other under my arm, leaving my second hand free for the two-stroke oil bottle. kanaya sits cross-legged on her phone waiting for me to come back. i set the cans down in front of her and she jumps a little and scowls, but i can tell she isn’t actually irritated.

KANAYA: How Many Gallons Is This
JADE: uhhhh it’s 20 liters soooo
JADE: about 5.3 gallons?
KANAYA: Damn I Was Hoping For A Number A Little Rounder
KANAYA: Ill Just Use The Twenty Liter Figure Then
KANAYA: Ounces Kind Of Piss Me Off Anyway
JADE: oh ok! hehe
KANAYA: That Would Be About
KANAYA: Mm
KANAYA: Four Hundred Milliliters Of Oil
KANAYA: See
KANAYA: How Much Easier Is That To Work With
JADE: whatever gets it mixed quicker!
JADE: personally i’m pretty accustomed to gallons and ounces but i don’t know how it is on alternia hehe
KANAYA: Its A Huge Mishmash Honestly
KANAYA: Officially Alternia Obviously Uses Alternian Measurement Units But On Smaller Scales Everyone Really Just Uses Whatever Comes To Mind First
KANAYA: Whether That Be Human Metric Human Imperial Or Alternian Imperial
JADE: what’s alternian imperial like?
KANAYA: Trust Me
KANAYA: You Do Not Want To Know
JADE: o_o
KANAYA: Anywho
KANAYA: How Many Liters Are In That Two Stroke Bottle
JADE: just one!
KANAYA: Perfect
KANAYA: Pour Just A Little Under Half Alright

kanaya unscrews the cap of the jerry can and slips a funnel into the opening. i cautiously pour in the oil and watch the halfway mark on the bottle. how convenient that the brand did that for us!

kanaya digs her fangs into her lip in concentration. she does that a lot, i’ve noticed. her fang pressing into skin reminds me of what rose was saying this morning and makes me think about bitNO no no NO stop thinking about pretty women and their fangs immediately you are on the JOB harley you have to focus

KANAYA: Jade You Are Sweating
KANAYA: Is Something The Matter
JADE: n-no i’m fine!
JADE: just whew you know
JADE: the whole situation heh
KANAYA: Ah With The Mission
KANAYA: Yeah Mhm
KANAYA: Well
KANAYA: Forgive Me For Being A Little Too Chipper Than The Circumstances Should Allow
KANAYA: I Am Just Very Happy About
KANAYA: You Know
JADE: awww
JADE: about rose?
KANAYA: ...
KANAYA: Maybe
JADE: i always thought you two would be cute together :)
KANAYA: Thank You
KANAYA: If We Werent On This Vessel I Might Even Suggest Going To A Lesbian Bar To Pick Up A Third To Her
JADE: !

holy shit wait

th

that means??????

KANAYA: I Am Joking
KANAYA: That Was A Joke
KANAYA: Well Not The Polyamory Bit But The Lesbian Bar Bit
KANAYA: Ive Never Really Felt In Place At Those Kinds Of Establishments And I Doubt I Could Find Anyone I Really Click With There
JADE: ahhh mhm
JADE: yeah i totally get what you mean as a trans woman @_@
JADE: they’re a bit too......
JADE: regular
JADE: if that makes sense :p
KANAYA: Yes My Girls Need To Have Something Wrong With Them
JADE: pffttshhsh kanaya >xP
KANAYA: I Suppose In Terms Of Sexuality You Could Call Me A Bit Of A Fixer
JADE: whew, been there!
JADE: maybe a doomed spaceship is the best place to meet girls, huh
KANAYA: Maybe So Jade
KANAYA: Maybe So

kanaya’s tone is kinda hard to parse at the end of that. her gaze is kind of fixed on me and i ALSO can’t tell what that means but she has really pretty deep green eyes and wow her sclera

KANAYA: Come On
KANAYA: We Have Some More Work To Do
JADE: oh uhm
JADE: yeah!

JADE: oh jeez
JADE: that is! worrying
ROSE: I’d have to concur.

Jade arrives with Kanaya after finishing up with some routine electrical work. Something to do with the door latches and releases. I’m unsure how such a task facilitated oil on Jade’s face, but I’m not one to point it out, nor am I complaining in the slightest. I’ve drawn their attention to a leaking water pipe just outside the cafeteria, two full buckets placed by me just beneath it. Kanaya crosses her arms and furrows her brow.

KANAYA: I Am Going To Hazard A Guess And Assume That This Isnt The Only Breach In The System
ROSE: I wouldn’t be surprised if bolts had been shaken loose elsewhere.
JADE: are we, like
JADE: running out of water??? D:
ROSE: Nothing’s particularly urgent at the moment, but I would guess that we only have a couple weeks left in the taps. Bottled is obviously even lower.
JADE: hm

Jade looks in no particular direction, seemingly lost in thought. I can almost hear the gears turning in her proverbial mind factory. Kanaya reaches upwards and jimmies the pipe back and forth. I have no idea how the hell that’s supposed to do anything, but I digress. I’m not the one with an engineering degree. It is a little funny, though.

KANAYA: Well Im Going To Go Search Along The Pipes For Another Breach
KANAYA: I Will Link Up With Dave As I Know He Is Nearby
KANAYA: You Stay With Jade Ok Rose
KANAYA: She Will Look After You
KANAYA: Love You

She has to bend down an almost humorous amount to give me a kiss.

ROSE: Gosh, Kanaya.
ROSE: As much as I am not one to turn down a kiss from you, it’s not like this will be the last time I see you.
KANAYA: I Dont Know That For Certain
KANAYA: And Neither Do You
KANAYA: It Brings Me Some Solace To Be Careful Like This
ROSE: You’re positive.
ROSE: I hate to admit that you do have a point, though.
ROSE: Though, even if you do, I trust in your and Dave’s ability to stay safe.
ROSE: So.
ROSE: Take care.
KANAYA: See You



JADE: reaaaally not one for an irish goodbye huh?
ROSE: Oh, shut it, Jade.
ROSE: She’s just afraid. I can’t blame her at all.
JADE: i knowwww i’m just joking
JADE: i think it was pretty cute! and reeeeeeeally sappy :p
JADE: bleugh ew ew! and etcetera hehe
JADE: anyways
JADE: that little speech of hers gave me time to think and now i’ve got an idea!
ROSE: Well, don’t keep me in suspense.
JADE: rose does the infirmary have epsom salt?
ROSE: ...
ROSE: Excuse me?
JADE: does the infirmary have epsom salt!
ROSE: Er, yes? We have plenty of it, about five jugs worth. It’s a rather standard solution for muscle aches.
ROSE: I’d be surprised if we didn’t, honestly.
JADE: how much is each jug
ROSE: Five kilograms.
JADE: right right right...
JADE: alright! i need you to get me a big glass bowl kinda like the ones you’re using for the leak
JADE: don’t get a plastic tub! it might melt
JADE: i’ll be back in a sec!!! i need to go forage for supplies :]
ROSE: Wait, you aren’t going to tell me what you’re doing here, just give me instructions and scamper off?
ROSE: And, pardon me, melt?
JADE: yes!!! :D
JADE: all will make sense soon!!!
ROSE: ???
ROSE: Jade, get back here.
ROSE: Jade!
ROSE: JADE!
ROSE: ...

DAVE: and she was like “oh yeah loooooads of tongue and like fangs too bro”
DAVE: and i was like broooo thats sick
KANAYA: Oh My God This Is So Embarrassing
KANAYA: I Only Talked To Sollux And Karkat
KANAYA: ...
KANAYA: Am I Correct In Deducing That Every Member Of This Ship Knows What Happened This Morning
DAVE: honestly im surprised it took this long for everyone to find out
DAVE: were a hamster cage of traumatized adults kan of course were gonna gossip
KANAYA: Lord
DAVE: i mean if youre genuinely uncomfortable at everyone parading it around then yeah ill totally shut my trap and im sure i could get karkat or sol to do the same
DAVE: im not trying to be a dick here im actually genuinely proud of like rose and by extension you because damn you found time for romance shit when our lives are actively in danger every second and honestly thats just a super impressive display of keeping your shit together at least on like the surface level and oh shit were here
KANAYA: Thank Fuck
KARKAT: OH, IT’S YOU GUYS.

The Door Opens Before Dave Or I Could Reach It. Karkat Is There, With Sollux Sitting On One Of The Cots Behind Him, And Jade And Rose Off To The Side With Random Apparatus.

SOLLUX: diid jd rope you guy2 iinto her 2ciience faiir two.
JADE: shut it sollux i’ve got something here!
JADE: dave! kanaya! so glad you could make it :)
KANAYA: If I May Ask
JADE: you may!
KANAYA: What Exactly Is The It That I Have Made To
DAVE: yeah seconded
JADE: so glad you asked!

Jade ushers Dave and Kanaya inside, skipping over to her little contraption. Frankly, her excitement is adorable.

JADE: here we have the solution to our water problems!
DAVE: uh
DAVE: a bowl with a roll of aluminum foil next to it
DAVE: theres also like a big flask and like some tubes
DAVE: lotta tubes actually
JADE: aHA! that’s what it seems like!
JADE: this is actually a rudimentary distillation setup :)
DAVE: oh shit wait what the fuck
DAVE: OHHHHH THATS A CONDENSER
DAVE: the hell are we distilling
DAVE: moonshine
JADE: magnesium sulfate heptahydrate
JADE: also known aaaaaas....
ROSE: Epsom salt.
JADE: ^_^
DAVE: you two choreographed that didnt you
ROSE: Consider it a lesson in showmanship.
DAVE: this is dumb our water is fine i literally took a shower this morning
DAVE: this is dumb isnt it kanaya cmon back me up
KANAYA: Speak For Yourself I Am Intrigued
KANAYA: Admittedly Chemistry Was Never My Strong Suit And Jades Lovable Personality Is Doing The Proverbial Lifting But Still
JADE: :D
ROSE: I knew I could rely on you.
DAVE: oh my god come on
DAVE: i mean to be fair i was expecting lovebird one to go up against lovebird two really what the hell did i think would happen
ROSE: Dave, shut up. She’s talking.
KANAYA: Jade Talk Me Through It
SOLLUX: yeah iim wiith kn here.
SOLLUX: jd ha2nt saiid anythiing and not goiing two liie iim pretty curiiou2 two.
KARKAT: I DON’T HAVE ANY BETTER SHIT TO DO ANYWAYS. LAY IT ON ME, HARLEY.
JADE: ok! so

Jade hunches down to the platform the bowl is resting on and flips a few switches. Upon closer inspection, the platform is actually three smaller contraptions placed side-by-side, contraptions I immediately recognise as hot plates from the cafeteria.

JADE: we’re going to be doing a very simple chemical reaction here
KANAYA: Oh Hm
KANAYA: Do Go On
JADE: well i won’t get your hopes up xP but it’s pretty cool!
JADE: basically
JADE: epsom salt has a shit ton of water in it!
DAVE: idk seems dry to me
JADE: i’m glad you made that statement!
JADE: you see it’s dry because epsom salt, or magnesium sulfate, is sold in its HEPTAHYDRATE form!
JADE: because of a whole bunch of reasons that will become relevant later hehe
JADE: now heptahydrate doesn’t mean it’s wet or something
JADE: it means there are h2o molecules woven throughout the crystal magnesium sulfate structure!
JADE: which can therefore be extracted :]
JADE: it might taste a little ooky though! heating it might break up the sulfate part and leave a bit of sulfur and yucky stuff behind
JADE: but we can’t afford to be picky! this will keep us alive for another few weeks at my most pessimistic calculation
KARKAT: WOW.
KARKAT: THAT’S. REALLY IMPRESSIVE, ACTUALLY.
KARKAT: LIKE, THE THINKING ON THE SPOT SKILL!
KARKAT: AND YET YOU FUCKING IDIOTS MADE ME THE LEADER?
KARKAT: MY ROLE IS A PR AGENT AT BEST. MAYBE PEOPLE WRANGLER IN TERMS OF THE ROLL CALLS. WE ALL KNOW WHO THE DE FACTO LEADER IS.
JADE: aw karkat!
JADE: thank you for the flattering words :)
JADE: but now is not the time for flattery!
JADE: it is the time for CHEMISTRY!
SOLLUX: damn.
SOLLUX: 2hakiing iin my boot2 from exciitement over here.
JADE: you sound it!
KANAYA: Yes You Seem To Be Very Good At Talking Up What Is Essentially Just Pouring Water Really Slowly
DAVE: makes sense honestly she was on the debate team from like sophomore to senior year and she killed it at every championship
JADE: rose please turn on the hot plates before dave can embarrass me any further!
ROSE: Yes, ma’am.

rose kneels down and flips a few switches on the little platform thing the bowl is on and then jade rolls out a fucking huge aluminum foil rectangle and covers the whole bowl with it. she skips up and says something about ”insulation :D” and takes a seat on one of the cots. everyone sits around silently for a good five minutes before someone pipes up

KANAYA: So
KANAYA: Now What
JADE: now we wait! :]
JADE: the water in the crystals only starts to sweat off at around 150c so we’ve gotta wait for it to heat up hehe
JADE: and then the more we add the more we crank it!
JADE: because as the heptahydrate becomes hexa, penta, tetra, tri, di, and monohydrate, it needs more and more energy to knock off the more stubborn water molecules
SOLLUX: well that 2ort of blow2.
ROSE: Cheer up, Sollux. I promise you the excitement of finally seeing some water condense in the column will be monumental.
ROSE: Like a championship-winning goal.
ROSE: Like as if the big man......hass the ball.
DAVE: like the ahlly oop for the
DAVE: SLAM DUNK
ROSE: SLAM DUNK.
JADE: ...
JADE: WAIT RIGHT
JADE: DAVE’S COMICS EHEHEHEHEH
DAVE: god i was worried that my amazing artistic prowess was lost to your memory for a sec
DAVE: thank fuck
DAVE: thank the big man............
ROSE: A crisis has been averted, truly.
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE EVEN TALKING ABOUT.
DAVE: man calm down
DAVE: its just childhood friends being childhood friends
DAVE: have i never told you about sweet bro and hella jeff holy shit guys i think ive never told him about sweet bro and hella jeff
ROSE: To be fair, I quite literally had to pry the affinity you still hold for that out of your brain with a crowbar.
ROSE: Just three days ago you were turning your nose up at the references I made.
KARKAT: SORRY TO BUTT IN ON YOUR FAMILY BONDING TIME BUT NO DAVE I HAVEN’T FUCKING HEARD OF IT????
DAVE: you wouldnt get it
DAVE: its way too avant garde for your puny brain
DAVE: sollux could totally get it though
KARKAT: YEAH, ALRIGHT, WHATEVER. YOU’RE INSUFFERABLE AND I HATE YOU, I’M SPEEDING THROUGH THIS BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR VOICE FOR ANOTHER FUCKING SECOND.
KARKAT: OH AND SORRY, CHILDHOOD FRIENDS?????
KARKAT: WOW! FUCKING SPLENDID! WHERE DID YOU GUYS MEET, IN THE SAME FUCKING PETRI DISH???
DAVE: yeah i did actually jade was the coolest bacterium this side of the mississippi
JADE: sounds like you wish you were in the petri dish karkat!
KARKAT: I COULD TAKE OR LEAVE GROWING UP ON EARTH.
KARKAT: I JUST THINK THAT IT’S PRETTY FUCKING FREAKISH THAT,
KARKAT: UH. I.
KARKAT: ...
ROSE: Karkat?

Karkat plays with his hands and looks toward the floor. It’s like something just completely stopped him in his tracks.

KARKAT: SORRY I JUST
KARKAT: IT’S HIT ME.
KARKAT: ...DO YOU GUYS NOT THINK IT’S WEIRD THAT A BUNCH OF CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WERE ALL SOMEHOW RECRUITED AND ENDED UP ON HERE?
ROSE: Hm.
ROSE: Well.
ROSE: On paper, it may seem a bit suspicious, but Jade and I did go to the same college.
KARKAT: OKAY, SURE, BUT THEN WHY IS DAVE HERE?
KARKAT: YOU KNOW, YOUR BLOOD COUSIN????
ROSE: Well, our, hm.
ROSE: Our parents were Corporate astronauts as well. Maybe the admins caught a particularly tenacious case of nepotistic desire.
DAVE: hm
ROSE: Hm?
DAVE: no
ROSE: Eh?
ROSE: Just, no?
DAVE: no karkats onto something
DAVE: its kinda way too perfect
DAVE: you never ended up telling me what was on those tapes you found but i could extrapolate
DAVE: and like
DAVE: why else would we be here
DAVE: i grew up in a tiny ass texas town and then bro moved us and rose whered you grow up
DAVE: fucking boston or something
ROSE: New York, actually. Rainbow Falls.
ROSE: But then mother moved us to Sacramento for my schooling. I never really understood that decision; it’s the other side of the country.
JADE: i grew up on an island for like the first 3 years of my life hehe
JADE: i never knew my biological parents! i’m guessing my bio dad probably just knocked up some lady he met on his adventures with my grandpa though U_U
JADE: and then
JADE: huh yeah he took me to sacramento too
DAVE: and we all went to the same high school
ROSE: McGill.
JADE: mcgill yeah!
DAVE: you guys met in the seventh grade and i arrived in tenth
DAVE: hell you were living together from eleventh grade onward because of what happened with bros mission
DAVE: you guys went off to college and i went somewhere else
DAVE: in fact i moved back to fucking texas
DAVE: i didnt even really envision space travel as my first choice gig it just kind of fell into my lap because guess fucking what
DAVE: “corporate recruiters” had noticed my so-called expertise and offered me a job
DAVE: meanwhile i was approaching the end of my degree but the point is i hadnt even fucking finished it yet
JADE: oh wh
JADE: what?????
JADE: can they even do that? @_@
DAVE: clearly they can otherwise i wouldnt be in this tin can
ROSE: I.
ROSE: Hm.
ROSE: But I actively pursued the job, personally? It made me feel closer to my mom.
ROSE: I was first and foremost a nurse because of my own interest in the field.
ROSE: I minored in psychology for...
ROSE: Point is, I pursued this job personally.
JADE: well i’m here because i got an offer as well but at least i had my damn degree when i got it!
JADE: why were they so enthusiastic to take you on dave??
KANAYA: ...Because You Two Were Already Safely Secured
JADE: what?
KANAYA: Think About It
KANAYA: An Aerospace Engineer Is Best Friends With A Nurse Who Is Specializing In Aerospatial Medicine
KANAYA: It Is Nigh Guaranteed That You Would Follow Her Into The Occupation
JADE: oh
JADE: i
ROSE: Oh, God.
ROSE: No, no, why does that make sense.
ROSE: They ensure that Jade and I are securely entering this field, and then they,
ROSE: Plant the truth about my mother on the very system this ship is programmed with.
DAVE: yup
DAVE: we all played right fucking into their game
ROSE: I...
ROSE: Remember, when Sollux first showed me the files.
ROSE: In my rage at the time, I thought it was all a part of a plan to get me onto this vessel.
ROSE: I forgot about that completely once I started to take my anger out on June.
ROSE: ...
ROSE: I guess I was right.
ROSE: Even my own fucking career wasn’t my choice. I haven’t had a crumb of agency since high school.
JADE: oh god






SOLLUX: oh fuck guy2.
SOLLUX: water2 comiing over.
JADE: ...
JADE: not the time sollux
SOLLUX: oh.
SOLLUX: alriight.
SOLLUX: whatever happened to the exciitement.
ROSE: ...
ROSE: This isn’t even news to me. I concluded this on the eleventh.
ROSE: So why do I feel so fucking sick?
KANAYA: You Are Coming To Terms With Information Your Brain Had Only Considered Through A Cloud Of Rage And Not While In A Life Or Most Likely Death Situation
KANAYA: Its Normal Rose
KANAYA: Come Here
JADE: yeah kanaya’s right
JADE: just
JADE: whew
JADE: it isn’t easy to grapple with how your life has been planned out by a bunch of suits and ties
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: what can we do ig
DAVE: thats as much a rhetorical question as it is a genuine cry for help
KANAYA: Im Going To Try And Get Our Faster Than Light Drive Up And Running Again
JADE: i can help you with that too yeah
JADE: heh
JADE: remember when this mission was about a medicinal root karkat?
JADE: i remember
KARKAT: HAH.
KARKAT: CHRIST, WHAT A FUCKING JOKE.
JADE: ...
DAVE: ...
KANAYA: ...
ROSE: ...
SOLLUX: ...
KARKAT: ...
JADE: well
JADE: i’ll start collecting the water and topping off the epsom salt

 

ROSE: ...
ROSE: You know.
ROSE: When you were so enthusiastic about this epsom salt plan, I’ve noticed in retrospect that you failed to mention the absolutely diabolical cleanup.
JADE: well then no one would be interested in it! :p
JADE: you included! you’re just making fun of me while i’m bent over crushing up magnesium sulfate rocks
ROSE: Well, I wouldn’t want to interfere with the sciences.
ROSE: It’s not my field of expertise.
JADE: hehehe
JADE: quit being a bitch and just help me clean up
JADE: unless using a hammer to hit a big thing over and over exceeds your knowledge too
ROSE: Them’s fighting words.
ROSE: Well, if you insist, but I am hereby waiving all responsibility for any mistakes by cause of ignorance.
JADE: well as far as the risk assessment goes it’s broken glass
JADE: maybe you could make a case for the depression inducing destruction of multiple pieces of nice glassware
ROSE: You know I’d be all over that.
JADE: well the ward’s a stone's throw away! you’ll be fine then see?

rose bends down with a grumble and starts to pick up the larger shards of glass, brushing the tinier ones toward my dust pan with... her bare hand. she’s such a freak. i hold another brick of magnesium sulfate over my head and slam it onto the paneling, breaking it up into a handful of smaller, extremely dense little rocks. i pick one up in my hand and rub my finger over it. it paints my finger like chalk and smells awful.

JADE: rose catch!
ROSE: Wh-

i throw the rock and it almost hits rose but she manages to catch it before fumbling it on the ground. it somehow bounces.

ROSE: ???
ROSE: The fuck was that?
JADE: that was some of the epsom salt :)
ROSE: Oh my god.
ROSE: Did we do that? What did we do to it?
JADE: science :)
ROSE: It’s torment, is what it is.
ROSE: It’s a shadow of its former self.
ROSE: Through the most wicked of sciences, we have somehow managed to induce a mid-life crisis within a rock.
ROSE: Shriveled, old, about to place a down payment on a speedboat.
JADE: eheheheheheh :]
JADE: yeah i won’t lie it looks pretty sad!
JADE: there’s a reason epsom salt is sold in the heptahydrate form :p
JADE: dry epsom salt soaks up water and then hardens and lets out a ton of heat!
JADE: if you put dry epsom salt in a bath you’d just burn yourself with angry rocks
ROSE: What an eloquent way to put it.
JADE: hehe :]
JADE: ok just dump everything in the trash and we can hit it
ROSE: Sure thing.
ROSE: Did you want to do anything after?
ROSE: Kanaya’s busy with whatever hot girl mechanic things she has to attend to, and I’m sensing a bit of burnout with my latest crocheting endeavour.
JADE: yeah totally! we can just hang out in my dorm if you want
ROSE: Sounds like a plan to me.
ROSE: We don’t even have to do anything, honestly. I’d be more than content laying on your floor while you do whatever.
ROSE: More often than not, the floor proves more comfortable than our standard issue bunk cots.
JADE: :p rose you aren’t sleeping on the floor
ROSE: Not letting me sleep on the floor, hm?
JADE: no! you sleep on the bed
ROSE: I don’t deserve a bed.
JADE: >:/
ROSE: Furthermore, I never thought I’d experience such abhorrent ableism from my BFFsie. You’re depriving me of a very real autistic need, and frankly, I’m disgusted by your behaviour.
JADE: bitch i’m autistic too!
ROSE: Internalized, then? How droll.
JADE: pfffffff okay fine
JADE: how’s this for a compromise? we take turns lying on the floor
ROSE: That’s a satisfying arrangement.
JADE: good, because that’s all you’re getting! you need to work on your bargaining skills
ROSE: Eh. There are better stages of grief. I’d rather not dedicate too much time to it.
JADE: hehehehe

rose dumps off the final bits of glass in her hand and leans on the doorframe waiting for me. i’ve done basically all i can do with these rocks, so i just set them all in one container and write for airlock! on the outside.

rose scans us out and i lead the way to my dorm. it’s starting to get on in the simulated night so the lights are dimming a bit. i slow my pace a bit and try to enjoy the ambience as rose walks behind me. metal creaks as per usual and computers chirp from all directions like birdsong. i even recognise some of the trills as an intercom buzz or something. it reminds me of that time when i was going up to the observation deck, and the lights above were washing over my back so gently, and i had my hands in my pockets just alone with my thoughts, and i could hear those very same trills on the way to the deck, and then i scanned myself into the deck and i heard

JUNE: jade!
JADE: AAUUGYH???
ROSE: Jade!
ROSE: Jesus, are you alright?
JADE: i
JADE:
JADE: what was i doing
ROSE: You walked by your dorm just then. Your name tag is on it.
ROSE: You’ve seemed to be on some kind of autopilot this whole time.
ROSE: I said a few things and you didn’t respond, so when you walked past the door, I tried to get your attention.
JADE: uh
JADE: haha don’t worry about it
JADE: let me scan us in
JADE:
JADE: rose please don’t give me that knowing stare can we just go inside
ROSE: Fine.
ROSE: You’re only getting off so easily because I can’t be particularly bothered to offer my psychiatric services again.
ROSE: But in the words of Jade Becquerel Harley herself:
ROSE: It’s okay to talk to people.
JADE: yeah that means a whole lot coming from you
ROSE: Jade.
JADE: sorry
JADE: let’s just go

i avoid rose’s line of sight and try to bounce back from that as i let myself in. she follows and inspects my room at the threshold. my dorm seems to meet her arbitrary standards, until she suddenly gasps and rushes over to my bed. she throws my blanket aside and holds up a pair of tangle buddies.

ROSE: Holy shit.
ROSE: Are these the specific Tangle Buddies I think they are?
JADE: hehe um
JADE: yeah! :)
JADE: those are the ones you gave me in ninth grade
JADE: they’re starting to get pretty darn ratty from age but i’ve washed them religiously!
JADE: i think that build-a-buddy workshop is still in business too hehe
ROSE: If we’re somehow alive after this mission, we’re going there fucking immediately.
ROSE: For now, though, these examples are still beautiful.
ROSE: Purple and blue.
ROSE: You still like blue, right?
ROSE: You don’t seem to wear it nearly as much as you did. It’s a shame; it’s a lovely color on you.
JADE: aww thanks!
JADE: i mean i definitely still like it! but i think i’ve fallen in love with green lately
ROSE: Fair enough. You really cannot go wrong with a nice green.
ROSE: ...
ROSE: I...
ROSE: Didn’t know you still had these.
JADE: hehe well where else would they be??
JADE: i wouldn’t have left them at grandpa’s place! and i packed all my other stuffies for this mission
JADE: a woman in her mid to late twenties can have stuffies!!!!!
ROSE: I wholeheartedly agree, but that isn’t the crux of my thought process here.
ROSE: I think I just.
ROSE: Well.
ROSE: Hm.
ROSE:
ROSE: I guess I always thought you threw them away.
JADE: oh gosh no rose!!! why would i ever throw them away???
ROSE: I don’t know, really.
ROSE: It wasn’t clear to me then, and it certainly isn’t clear to me now.
ROSE: I guess it’s just, I don’t know.
ROSE: It’s.
ROSE: Really comforting that you still value these a decade after I bought them for you.
JADE: aw rose :]
JADE: of course! i would never throw them away i think they’re cute
JADE: and i’m proud of you for like
JADE: actually saying that hehe
ROSE: Thanks.
ROSE: I’ve had kidney stones pass easier than saying that out loud.
JADE: hehehe
JADE: sooooooo
JADE: what do you wanna do?
ROSE: The floor is always a plan.
JADE: gosh you really are insistent!
ROSE: I know my likes and dislikes.
JADE: yeah that’s one way of putting it :p
JADE: well i’m gonna lay on the bed! i’m really tired and my knees are killing me u_u
JADE: you’re free to join me if you want! whether that be cuddling or just laying next to me
ROSE: Ah, mm.
JADE: hm?
JADE: what’s up?
ROSE: Would the former be alright?
JADE: yeah totally!
JADE: i’m not gonna pressure you to but that’s something we do all the time remember
ROSE: No, I’m aware of that.
ROSE: I mean,
ROSE: Nevermind.
ROSE: Scooch.

i sidle back until i’m up against the wall. rose sits and lays next to me and i snuggle up a bit and just close my eyes. so tired....

I try to dig for my phone as gently and silently as possible while Jade seemingly dozes with her arms around me. It’s a rather difficult game of contortion, but I eventually find purchase around the device.

TT: Psst.
GA: Hi Rose :)
GA: What Do You Need
TT: Nothing in particular. I just wanted to check up on you, see how you’re doing.
GA: And How Chivalrous Of You
GA: Well To Answer That I Am Not Really Doing Much Of Anything
GA: In Fact I Have Been Staring At My To Do List With A Pencil In My Maw For A Good Ten Minutes
TT: What a shame. I’m sure there’s just an ocean of nothing tasks that Karkat will give you a rather mean glare for not doing.
GA: Ha Ha You Have Said What Is Exactly On My Mind
GA: It Is Just All So Meaningless I Cannot Bring Myself To Care About Oh I Dont Know
GA: A Fucking Wiring Issue On Daves Record Player
GA: I Am Trying To Not Die Here
TT: Couldn’t have put it more eloquently myself.
TT: I still do appreciate Karkat’s orders, though. I’d wager that having a decent itinerary every day keeps us all sane.
GA: I Dont Know Really
GA: I Could Just Stay With You All Day And Feel Fulfilled
TT: Please, Kanaya.
TT: I love you very much too, but if I don’t have a menial task to work on, I just may explode.
GA: Ha Ha Yes I Was Mostly Joking
GA: But Seriously I Do Need A Break From Work
GA: Maybe Something Like That Date We Had Yesterday But A Little Less
GA: Everything
TT: Aw, why ever not?
TT: I for one very much enjoyed the vomit-inducing, tearful admissions of love while my breath smelled like shitty vodka and lesbianism.
GA: I Am Not Going To Argue With You And Instead Just State That I Think What You Said Was Beautiful
GA: End Of Topic
TT: Very shrewd, cutting my self-loathing short there.
TT: Another crack like that and you’ll be finding a ring on your finger.
GA: Ha Ha
TT: Jokes aside, another date sounds lovely.
GA: Great
GA: Oh And Furthermore
GA: Does Lesbianism Have A Distinct Odor
TT: It has a plethora of aromas, I’ll have you know.
TT: There’s literally any dollar store scented candle ever, the cool, industrial stench of the back of a U-Haul, the stagnant miasma of your lover’s used estrogen patches, perhaps even the tank top that she’s been too depressed to wash.
GA: Oh My
GA: Well Yes You Have Certainly Opened My Eyes To The Possibilities In A Way That Is Certainly Not Just Talking About Yourself
TT: Not a clue what you are referring to.
GA: Does Gently Offering To Wash Your Lovers Rotting Torso Garment Count As A Smell As Well
TT: Anything you want can count. <3
GA: :)
GA: So Is That All You Wanted To Discuss
GA: My Day Another Possible Date And Also A Tangent On Smells
TT: Oh.
TT: Hm.
GA: Hm
TT: Hmmmmm.
GA: Not This Again
TT: Come on, indulge in an old bit with me! Just a little.
GA: No
TT: No fun whatsoever on this Friday night.
GA: I Hate Fun Honestly Whenever I Have Fun My Day Is Just So Sorely Ruined
TT: Sorry for ruining your day this morning, then.
GA: Rose
TT: That’s me. In the flesh.
GA: Nevermind
GA: Now Before You So Ruthlessly Throw Me Off Topic Again
GA: I Believe You Had Something To Tell Me
TT: I said that I didn’t.
GA: With All Of The Due Love And Respect I Have For You As My Paramour
GA: Im Not Buying It
GA: Jade Has Proudly Told Me About Your Slowly Increasing Lack Of Emotional Reticence
TT: Everyone is just plotting against me, aren’t they. I can’t get away with a thing around here.
TT: Lousy stupid goddamn supportive friends.
GA: I Will Happily Be A Lousy Stupid Goddamn Supportive Girlfriend If It Means You In Turn Are Happy Rose
TT: Oh, God. Don’t say something genuinely sweet, or you’re going to make me regret my machinations.
GA: You Will Be Regretting Your Machinations In A Second If You Do Not Tell Me What Is Wrong
TT: Oh my. Is that so?
TT: Have I been a naughty girl?
GA: Rose
TT: Come on. The opportunity was right there.
GA: And While I Certainly Do Not Blame You For Taking It
GA: For The Fifth Time What Is Wrong Rose
TT: ...
TT: ..............
TT: ........................
GA: I Will Chomp On Your Finish Crumbs Like They Are Of The Finest Troll French Baguettes
TT: Alright, I’ve exhausted my options here.
TT: I just wanted to ask you something.
GA: Go Right Ahead
TT: Well, before I do.
TT: I want some kind of reassurance.
TT: Reassurance that you aren’t going to get, uhm.
GA: Mad
GA: ?
TT: Sure, let’s go with that.
TT: It’s just.
TT: I decided to hang out with Jade after we finished cleaning up her little science fair, and we’re cuddling.
TT: This is something we are both accustomed to in our friendship, but now that I am romantically entangled with you, I just want to ask if that is okay.
GA: Ah
GA: Rose I Love You Very Much And While I Appreciate Your Concern You Can Be Strange
TT: ?
GA: All Of That Preamble To Ask Me Permission For Something You Have Been Doing For Years
GA: Of Course That Is Ok Rose
GA: And In The Event That I Wasnt Okay With It That Would Be A Problem To Work Through Not Some Invitation For Me To Exert My Will Upon You
GA: Besides
GA: On The Topic Of
GA: Jade
GA: And Jade In Relation To Us Both
GA: Uh
GA: Nevermind
TT: Hm?
TT: Heh. And you call me the strange one.
GA: Anyways
GA: Yes I Am Fine With That
GA: Enjoy Your Time With Your Bffsie Rose
TT: Oh, God. You overheard that?
GA: She Told Me Personally Actually
GA: He He
TT: Type it like “hehe.” You’ll come across as more mischievous that way.
GA: Hehe
GA: Oh Youre Right
TT: As I often am.
TT: Alright, my arm is starting to fall asleep, and she’s moving around.
TT: See you. <3
GA: Goodbye
GA: And If I Do Not See You For The Rest Of The Night Sleep Well

I breathe a deep sigh of relief as Jade digs her arms out from under me. Her sleep must be contagious, because I find myself yawning.

JADE: mmbm
ROSE: You finished dozing?
JADE: hey!!
JADE: you’re being not so nice to me right now u_u
ROSE: I’m viciously opposed to snoozers. I don’t do well with snoozers.
JADE: mean!!
JADE: and you’re literally yawning yourself >:P
JADE: besides
JADE: we’ve both had a long day
JADE: i think an early night really wouldn’t go amiss
ROSE: Mm.
ROSE: I suppose not.
ROSE: ...
JADE: ...








ROSE: You know I never even wanted to be a psychiatrist?
JADE: huh?
ROSE: Psychiatry.
JADE: oh i heard you just like
JADE: where is this coming from hehe
ROSE: Was just thinking about it.
JADE: gotcha
ROSE: I only studied it in college because my mother thought I should do something alongside general medicine.
ROSE: This was before she died, of course.
ROSE: Her estate was paying for my tuition in full, after all.
ROSE: So I just picked the first bullshit subject that came to mind.
ROSE: I was interested in it as a child, so maybe it would stick in my brain and it would come to be something I love.
ROSE: And I actually stuck with it!
ROSE: Stuck with it for my whole college life.
ROSE: I don’t think I found it to be interesting in the slightest. It was just easy enough that I felt like I made her proud without too much effort.
ROSE: Look at me, so committed to a bit that I don’t even find funny.
ROSE: And she probably thought I was so intelligent.
ROSE: When really, I was day drinking during lectures and googling what part of the brain was responsible for pleasure responses when the professor asked.
JADE: ...
JADE: really?
ROSE: Yes, really.
ROSE: Laying here with you reminds me of our time spent together as roommates.
ROSE: Everyone always thought we were an obvious lesbian couple. Goth girl and her pastel-and-overalls gardening girlfriend.
ROSE: I also remember all those times I’d come back from my classes basically completely smashed, and you’d just have to get me to bed and continue whatever it was you were doing.
ROSE: Not personally remembered, of course. Too many hangovers to even have a patchy recollection.
ROSE: You told me every time it happened, and every time I’d cry and swear that I’d stop, and every time I’d go out and buy the cheapest grog I could find.
ROSE: And yet I still passed.
ROSE: Maybe Mom knew.
ROSE: Maybe she knew that I’d just follow her example.
ROSE: I could have sworn I heard her voice in my panic a couple nights ago.
ROSE: ...
JADE: r
JADE: rose i
ROSE: Goodnight, Jade.
JADE: ...

 

i scan myself out of comms after a big day of jack diddly fucking squat except like a random meaningless infrared peak and karkat is there waiting for me. hunched over and leaned up against the wall he’s still like half an inch taller than me. hes just kind of fiddling with his phone so i pat his shoulder to get his attention

DAVE: hey bud
KARKAT: UGH, FUCKING FINALLY.
KARKAT: WHAT COULD BE SO TIME CONSUMING ABOUT SITTING IN SOME ROOM WITH SOME MICROPHONES AND RECEIVING THE SQUARE ROOT OF JACK IN TERMS OF SIGNALS?
DAVE: nothing really but its the tranquility that comes with it
DAVE: thats what keeps me in the room all day
DAVE: its like my own personal meditation suite that just fucking blitzes my stress receptors into the nth dimension
DAVE: im on cloud ten right now bro thats how insane this is
DAVE: you cant knock it till you try it
KARKAT: I THINK I CAN VERY MUCH KNOCK IT.
KARKAT: UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE WHO INSIST ON WEARING SHADES INDOORS, I’M ACTUALLY A DECENTLY PRODUCTIVE PERSON WHO GETS SHIT DONE.
DAVE: well i mean theres also that and the fact that hal 9500 reared his head again and started harassing me
KARKAT: OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE. WHAT WAS HE SAYING NOW?
DAVE: just more of the same shit and i really dont want to recount it
DAVE: wait hang on i got a text

i dig around in my pocket and flip down my notifications box

AA: Recount it.
AA: We both know that we discussed different things this time.
AA: I don’t think you understand that my motives are hardly malicious.

KARKAT: DAVE?
DAVE: oh
DAVE: lol its just jade sending me a meme dont worry
KARKAT: OH, HEH.
KARKAT: CAN I SEE?
DAVE: uh
DAVE: no its like super avant garde and shit haha
DAVE: it would fly over your little pea brain in a second
KARKAT: WOW, LITERALLY GO FUCK YOURSELF!
KARKAT: SERVES ME RIGHT FOR TRYING TO BE FUCKING AMICABLE IN A SOCIAL SITUATION.
DAVE: heheh
DAVE: also on your last point i dont think reading shit off a clipboard and not understanding that rose was just getting game this morning counts as productivity
KARKAT: OH MY GOD, AND STILL FUCKING HARPING ON ABOUT THAT!
KARKAT: NO. NO. I’M NOT EVEN HUMORING YOUR STUPID BULLSHIT. I’M TOO TIRED FOR THIS.
KARKAT: COME ON, LET’S GET YOU TO YOUR DORM.
DAVE: yes sir
KARKAT: IF YOU SALUTE ME AGAIN I WILL ACTUALLY STEAL A SCALPEL FROM THE WARD AND CUT YOUR HAND OFF IN ONE CLEAN SWIPE.
KARKAT: HELL, IT WOULDN’T EVEN BE STEALING! I’M THE SURGEON! ROSE IS A VERY GOOD PRACTITIONER BUT SHE ISN’T TRAINED IN SURGERY!
DAVE: thats crazy as fuck dude but i have a cup noodle back at my dorm literally screaming my name rn so can we start walking
KARKAT: YEAH YEAH FUCKING WHATEVER.
KARKAT: JUST STICK CLOSE, ALRIGHT?
KARKAT: WE CAN’T HAVE YOU GETTING LOST.

karkat leads the way to the elevator and up to the residential wing. i kind of zone out and just follow him on total autopilot but something snaps me out of it

KARKAT: WHY’VE YOU STOPPED?
KARKAT: YOUR DORM’S DOWN THERE. THIS IS KANAYA’S.
DAVE: i just remembered smth i wanted to talk to kan about
DAVE: ill see you around karkat
DAVE: bunp it

hes kinda clearly not at all buying what im saying and cautiously bumps my fist back. i wave him off and say goodbye as he walks back down the corridor to his own place. kanayas dorm thankfully still has some light peeking out from under the door. id feel like a huge dickwad if i had to wake her up for this even if its super important. i knock pretty hard

KANAYA: Hm
KANAYA: Who Is It
KANAYA: If It Is You Rose You Can Just Let Yourself In Unless I Specifically Request Otherwise
KANAYA: And Besides
KANAYA: I Am Not Wearing All That Much Anyway
KANAYA: So Why Dont You Just Let Yourself In
DAVE: uh
DAVE: its me
DAVE: dave
KANAYA: Oh
KANAYA: Uhm
KANAYA: Ahem
KANAYA: Hello David
KANAYA: Let Yourself In
KANAYA: My Hands Are Currently Full
DAVE: ok

i push open the door and kanayas sat opposite the doorway on her bed in a nightgown with the heat cranked up. i try to nonchalantly brush off just how immediately ive started fucking sweltering in her room and just sit down on the chair at her desk. she’s fiddling with some fabric and thread

KANAYA: Oh Please What Kind Of A Host Would I Be To Delegate A Guest To That Shitty Little Thing
KANAYA: Sit On The Bed

ok i do that i guess

KANAYA: So What Brings You Here
DAVE: nothing in particular really
DAVE: just kinda felt like shooting the shit with the crew member i probably speak to like the least

KANAYA: We Do Not Speak Very Often That Is True
DAVE: yeah and honestly thats a fuckin injustice and a half
DAVE: i mean we spoke earlier today but still
DAVE: we probably have some sick ass unique dynamic because of how differently we talk thats just buried under the proverbial iceberg
DAVE: shits cold
DAVE: as ice
KANAYA: Well Yes I Would Sure Hope That A Monument Constructed Of Ice Would Be Ice Cold
DAVE: see what i mean kan
DAVE: right there
DAVE: ive never been able to tell you but youre actually funny as fuck
DAVE: cause you literally just say shit
DAVE: and its funny every single goddamn time ok
KANAYA: I Have Been Told This Before But It Was When Rose Was Completely Off Her Proverbial Face With Soporifics So
KANAYA: Thank You For Providing A Confirmation Within Sound Mind
DAVE: my minds so sound dont even worry
DAVE: shit is a recording studio
KANAYA: Very Fitting For Our Communications Officer
KANAYA: How Do We Even Require A Satellite Dish What With Your Incredibly Audible Mind
DAVE: one hundred percent just some corporate bullshit
DAVE: they dont want me reaching my full potential
KANAYA: Disgusting Behavior
KANAYA: I Can Excuse Flagrant Disregard For Life In Exchange For Experimental Results But Being Mean To My Girlfriends Cousin Thats Where I Draw The Line
DAVE: heh




DAVE: so how is she
KANAYA: Hm
DAVE: like rose
DAVE: how is she doing
KANAYA: Ah
KANAYA: Shes Getting By
KANAYA: I Would Be Doubtful That A Single One Of Us Is Doing Wholly “Good” At The Moment
KANAYA: But She Is Coping
DAVE: cool yeah
DAVE: we talk a fair bit and shes like
DAVE: generally fairly open
DAVE: no offense but she was absolutely fucking hopeless when she was younger lol
DAVE: i think jade might have whipped her ass into shape over the years
DAVE: she isnt perfect but she tries to talk about stuff and thats what matters really
KANAYA: Im Glad She Has Been Making Improvement
KANAYA: I As An Observer Only Introduced Into Her Life Like Two Weeks Ago Have No Reference For What She Used To Be Like
DAVE: well im not gonna gossip about my cousins various neuroses
DAVE: even if it would technically be fair cause shes totally got all of mine written on some fucking psych file somewhere
DAVE: but like yeah idk
DAVE: proud of her for coming this far
KANAYA: From How It Sounds It Seems Like She Has Much To Be Proud Of Too
DAVE: yeah
DAVE:
DAVE: hope shes proud of herself
DAVE: god knows she deserves to be
KANAYA: Mmm

kanaya looks at me kinda solemnly for a few seconds before raising the thread to her teeth and cutting it. she ties it around her finger and knots it before hanging up the thing she was working on in her closet. i think its like a dress or something idk. aint the one she wore to the lunch a few days ago and hm no i dont want to think about the lunch actually moving on yup ok normal

i ball up my hands in my lap and she takes to kind of half laying down with some pillows up behind her. i feel like im intruding into her space but she offered to let me sit on the bed so im not gonna worry about that too much

DAVE: hey
KANAYA: Yes
DAVE: just
DAVE: thanks
KANAYA: ?
DAVE: for like
DAVE: keeping her safe and shit
DAVE: shes seemed more happy in the past day than the past fucking decade
DAVE: hyperbole as shit but like
DAVE: still
DAVE: i can tell that she loves you like crazy
DAVE: and
DAVE:
DAVE: i just feel the need to thank you for taking care of her
DAVE: because i sure as shit have failed at that
DAVE: ...
KANAYA: ...
KANAYA: Well
KANAYA: Im Happy I Can
KANAYA: I Have To Leave To Get Some Work Done Now But
KANAYA: It Was Good To Talk
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: ill leave you to get dressed and shit