Archive of Our Own ^beta

Throughout his life, Eijun has been sure of many things. 

Life-changing experiences, for example, such as being six years old and discovering a sport that would send a rush of adrenaline through his veins and make every fiber of his being come alive. Moreover, he knew the only view he wanted to have was from the mound. He wouldn’t settle for anything else.

Less important things, too, like deciding he wanted absolutely nothing to do with natto after his grandfather forcefully shoved a spoonful of disgusting, sticky beans into his mouth when he was eight, claiming that it worked wonders on one’s height which was a lie, of course.

Other times, it wasn’t as simple. Leaving behind the only life he knew in Nagano to join one of the strongest baseball teams in Tokyo was a harder decision to make than it seemed. Perhaps, the most difficult one to date. 

It has always been that way. Life is all about realizations, decisions and experiences that have shaped him into the person he is today. 

Sawamura Eijun, seventeen years old, Seidou High’s southpaw pitcher and ace .

Life in Seidou hasn’t been easy whatsoever since day one nor did he expect it to be, but after having to deal with both the fact that his last summer with the third years, including Miyuki-senpai as his battery partner, have come to an inevitably end, and belatedly realizing there was a whole world beyond Seidou’s walls, one that he never even truly considered before, he really believed that the last half of his high school days would be filled with nothing but baseball and contemplating about the future.

But life, as he’s learned, is always full of surprises.

Summer brought with it not only Seidou’s successful payback against Inashiro Industrial and making it as far as finals in Koshien, but also the most startling change that gave Eijun whiplash. 

Because this was a completely unknown territory to him, and he had absolutely no idea when it started.

Maybe it was two weeks ago when, on the way back from a practice game away, Okumura offered to carry Eijun’s duffel bag given Eijun’s body was fairly sore after pitching the whole game. 

Nothing out of the ordinary. 

Okumura often looked out for him, which was something Eijun really appreciated.

The thing was that when Eijun took the bag back from him when they arrived at Room Five, he unintentionally brushed Okumura’s fingers with his own. The action lasted no more than two seconds, but they were enough to leave behind a tingling sensation on his skin that Eijun couldn’t stop thinking about for a good part of the afternoon.

Or it could have been last Friday, during one of their so-called counseling sessions, according to Kanemaru and Toujou. 

He and Okumura had collapsed on the grass to take a well-deserved break. The sun was dipping steadily over the horizon, bathing the field and everything its light touched in soft, orange hues. They were just talking, really. Or rather, Eijun was the one talking while Okumura listened, the usual.

Eijun was speaking his mind about a new type of pitch he wanted to give a go, picking at the grass at his feet absentmindedly. At one point, he glanced over at Okumura and all thoughts flew out of his head, leaving it perfectly blank. 

Even now, Eijun is unable to shake off the memory of seeing the sunlight reflected in the pale blue of Okumura’s eyes, turning them into clear pools of warm water. A thin sheen of sweat glistened over his skin, highlighting the tiny freckles that were smattered across his nose in a way that was terribly distracting.

Here comes the first fact: Okumura Koushuu is attractive. 

It’s not like this was news to Eijun. For god’s sake, he has eyes. Of course it registered in the back of his mind the very first time his attention was drawn to a vaguely familiar blond boy all those months ago in the dining hall, but the thought was instantly forgotten the second Eijun realized Okumura was speaking to him and had just told him to shut up.

Back then, Okumura had annoyed the hell out of him, his irritation flaring up every time he ran into him at any given place or time; an initial animosity that was fully mutual. But as it happens with most things in life, change sometimes is unavoidable. 

Eijun experienced it when that antagonism dissolved and became something else entirely.

Against all odds, considering how disastrous their first meeting had been, they grew unexpectedly close over the last few months, to the point that Eijun likes to tease Okumura about that incident once in a while, finding his subtle embarrassment amusing every time he does.

Truthfully, it's not only about how well they work together or the unwavering trust they’ve placed on the other as battery partners. It’s much more than that , Eijun thinks.

And here lies a second fact: Eijun genuinely likes being around Okumura.

It’s somewhat odd, given how blatantly different their personalities are. Eijun is loud, extroverted and too emotionally-driven for his own good. Okumura, on the other hand, is quiet, impassive and unapologetically direct. He’s got no time for measured words or tactfulness. It’s something Eijun has come to appreciate, no matter how much the harsh truth tends to sting. 

Their clashing personalities, though, may be exactly why they complement each other the way they do, and why Eijun cherishes Okumura’s company so much. He never really knew how nice it is to have someone to listen to him, like, really listen, or check up on him constantly. Eijun usually tends to play it off and hide his true feelings behind an easy smile, but nothing goes past Okumura. 

Okumura is many things. He can be very outspoken and harsh when he deems it necessary but he balances it out when that honesty is placed within a positive context, easily giving compliments when he feels someone has earned it.

Before Eijun knew it, he started seeking Okumura more often. It was less about casual ‘ ran intos ’ or practicing together in the bullpen because they have to, and more about actively looking for Okumura because he simply wanted to, there was no other reason; it was about surveying the room, searching for a blond head instinctively, or finding himself disappointed every time he spotted Seto but Okumura wasn’t with him. 

Initially, Eijun thought of that eagerness as nothing more than normal friendship feelings, and he wouldn’t have started thinking otherwise if not for his weird reactions over the last month which have seriously made him slightly paranoid and overthink every interaction he has with Okumura.

It’s dumb to be wasting time pondering over it, but he can’t help it. He just wishes his brain didn’t decide to be a pain in the ass when it’s nearly one in the morning and he’s got practice in a few hours. 

Eijun has lost count of how many times he’s rolled over on his bed trying to fall asleep, failing every time. After another twenty minutes of pointless attempts, he decides to get an answer so he can finally, hopefully , pass out for the night because this is getting beyond ridiculous. 

Who is he going to ask, though? Harucchi would probably be the best person to talk about this kind of stuff but his room is too far away. He could shoot him a message, but what if he doesn’t even see it? And so, in typical Eijun fashion, instead of waiting until morning to go ask Harucchi like a normal person, he chooses to ask the closest person to him at that moment.

“Asada, hey, Asada,” he whispers into the darkness, leaning slightly over the edge of his bed to get a better look at the boy on the bed below him. He hardly sees anything, though. When he gets no answer, he tries again. “Asada. You sleeping?”

Eijun hears some rustling and faint noises and then, “Sawamura-senpai?” Asada mumbles, voice heavy with sleep, making Eijun feel guilty. Well, it’s too late now.

“Yeah. It’s me,” he replies. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“Is there something wrong?”

“So, uh, yeah, this is going to sound weird but,” he starts, getting a bit self-conscious but he isn’t going to backtrack. “Uh. How do you know you like someone?”

Asada doesn’t answer right away and Eijun’s discomfort grows, but he’s also genuinely curious about what Asada will say. 

“Like… someone?” Asada repeats slowly. 

“Yeah.”

“As in romantically?” Asada says, nearly stumbling over his words.

Eijun’s face heats up but he forces himself to respond, “Uh, yeah, I guess. I mean, yes.”

Asada falls silent for a long time and Eijun thinks he dozed off. He drops back against his blankets, heaving out a frustrated sigh. 

“I think,” Asada’s small voice reaches Eijun, making him perk up, “when you like someone, you like to be with that person. Um, you always want to see them and you feel happy when you finally do.” 

Eijun senses the awkwardness radiating off of Asada in waves. Surely, not even in his wildest dreams, did Asada ever think he’d be talking about crushes in the middle of the night with his senpai. Eijun offers him a silent apology for putting him in such a situation, but right now, he’s far more preoccupied musing on his answer. 

Eijun lets his eyes fall shut, thinking about that specific person as Asada keeps talking.

“Uh, you also want to see them happy,” he goes on, “and I think you just feel different when you’re around that person than when you’re with everyone else. Everything feels different when you’re with them. Oh yeah, and I guess you may want to ki-kiss–”

Eijun’s eyes fly open. “ Kiss?! ” He squeals in a high-pitched voice.

“Y-Yeah?” Asada chuckles nervously. “Wouldn’t you want to kiss someone you like?”

Eijun buries his crimson face into his pillow. He can’t believe he’s acting exactly like the teenage leads from his shoujo manga whenever they’re thinking about kissing their crush. 

“Sawamura-senpai? Are you okay?”  

Eijun lifts his head from the pillow. “Yeah! Thank you for answering, Asada. Phew, look at the hour. Goodnight!” 

“Uh, sure. Goodnight, senpai.”

Needless to say, Eijun doesn’t get a wink of sleep.

***

Of course, of course , he suspected it all along. His shoujo manga collection wasn’t there for nothing. Heartbeat speeding up, that funny feeling in the pit of the stomach, sweaty hands; it was all there.

He simply refused to acknowledge it for a good amount of reasons, but at this point, it really is useless to ignore the obvious. It wasn’t only about relating to Asada’s thoughtful reply last night, but also about experiencing something he had never felt before and yet, was impossible to mistake. 

Somewhere along the way, Eijun’s feelings towards Okumura stopped being exclusively about friendship and shifted into something more .

And it’s here, on a hot summer afternoon, in the rare times he has the dorm room all to himself, where the third and last fact makes itself known. He’s lying down on his bed, gaze lost on the ceiling as he throws and catches a baseball mindlessly, when he accepts the truth at last: 

Eijun likes Okumura more than just a friend. 

And failing to catch it in his next throw, causing the ball to hit him straight on the forehead drawing a groan out of his throat, may be a sign from the Universe telling him: You fucked up, buddy. 

***

(Thank god his bangs are long enough to hide the big, red mark on his forehead.)

***

For a couple of days, anxiety rears its ugly head, pushing Eijun to feel on edge, not knowing if his feelings are plainly written all over his face each time he sees Okumura, exposed to the world to see, or if by some miracle, he’s doing a decent job at hiding them. 

He’s worried over what this unforeseen change on his part means to his current relationship with Okumura. Because, frankly speaking, there are only two obvious options here. He dismisses one of them instantly, which leaves him with the second option: to get over it.

He will forget about this situation entirely and things will be as they’ve always been and remain that way until these uncalled feelings go away so everything can go back to normal. 

Easier said than done. 

Eijun tries so hard but it’s like his eyes have a mind of their own, shamelessly following Okumura’s movements in any room, staring at him longer than is socially acceptable. The strange part is that, more often than not, Eijun would sneak a glance at Okumura only to find him already looking at him intently, which had Eijun averting his gaze, completely flustered.

Damn you, wolf boy. Damn you for making me hope.

Sometimes, Eijun foolishly wonders if there’s the smallest chance Okumura might feel the same. Normally, this is when he puts a stop to his train of thought. He drills and drills into his head it’s useless to hope and daydream, for more reasons than one.

If by any miracle, the stars align and Okumura actually likes boys and their feelings are mutual... What then? They start dating?— And honestly, it’s embarrassing the way Eijun’s face heats up at the thought. 

Eijun is thoroughly convinced it’d be a very bad idea. For god’s sake, they’re teammates, no, battery mates . That’s what they are, more than anything else. He’s happy they’re friends too, but even if they weren’t, if they’d never fixed things, they’d still need to suck it up and learn to work together for the sake of the team.

In short, any kind of personal matters between them belongs outside the field.

Eijun isn’t deluding himself; not everything will be a walk in the park, that much he’s aware. He can’t allow any potential conflict between them influence or affect their performance negatively. Reason why it’s better to avoid all of it.

And, for some reason, he’s unable to imagine Okumura liking someone that way, with that too serious demeanor of his. He really can’t imagine him blushing or acting flustered around someone.

It’s true that Eijun has successfully brought out more expressions than his default one, which makes him feel as if he’s just accomplished something big. And when he finally sees a smile? When he hears a laugh from Okumura?

The world would surely end. 

***

Days turn into weeks, and October is here, bringing with it Eijun’s second Fall Tournament, and his first as Seidou’s ace, obtaining victory for a second time and granting the team a pass to Spring Koshien next year.

It was also Okumura’s official debut as Seidou’s main catcher.

Eijun couldn’t help but to grin proudly at Okumura when the numbers were handed out and the Boss gave him the number two jersey. But, being given such an important position came with a huge responsibility. Even though he tried to hide it and act collected, it was still clear to Eijun that deep down, Okumura was feeling the pressure.

Eijun himself is acutely aware of how nerve-wracking it can get being on the field, under the spotlight, carrying the crushing weight of their teammates’ hopes and dreams on their backs.

His own debut as ace against Yura Sougou is proof enough of how pressure and nerves can affect one’s mind and, in consequence, their performance. He definitely manages it better now, that’s for sure, but that’s something that comes with time, reassurance and self-confidence.

Okumura is far more level-headed than him but that doesn’t mean he’s immune to it and Eijun had to do his best to make sure his partner was in the right place mentally, just like all the times it was Okumura who made sure Eijun was in his best condition.

The day before finals, and during their last practice, he noticed a certain tension lingering on Okumura. Most people would have completely missed it since Okumura was exceptionally good at keeping his neutral expression in check, but Eijun has spent a lot of time with him to see through that calm façade. 

That night, after everyone had retreated to their respective rooms, he shot him a short text. 

Meet me in five outside my room?

Okumura’s reply came twenty seconds later. 

Okay.

Eijun jumped out of the bunk bed, nearly dying in the process as he forgot he was on the top bed, and automatically started fixing his hair until he realized what he was doing and dropped his hands. 

If Kuramochi-senpai was still here, he’d have shot him a weird look before he started interrogating him, but it was only Asada in the room, and once again Eijun was thankful for his non-prying nature –something that Eijun couldn’t really say about himself–.

“You’re going out, senpai?” Was Asada’s only question, looking up from the book he was reading. 

“Yeah, I need some fresh air. I’ll be right back!” Eijun answered, putting on his shoes at the genkan . 

Asada settled for a nod and a small smile. 

Yeah, Eijun was definitely thankful. 

Okumura wasn’t there yet when Eijun stepped into the hallway, so he leaned against the wall, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. 

He didn’t have to wait long. 

Okumura made a small sound to alert Eijun of his presence, something that Eijun had asked him to do months ago after the multiple times Okumura nearly gave him a heart attack whenever he sneaked up on him, silent as a cat. 

It warmed his heart that Okumura hadn’t forgotten about it.  

“Sawamura-senpai.” 

“Wolf boy!” He grinned at him. “Come on. Let’s have a walk.” 

“At this hour? Shouldn’t you be resting, senpai?” 

“It won’t take long.” 

Okumura merely nodded and Eijun led the way.

It wasn’t only his eyes that seemed to have a mind of their own, his heart was apparently suffering the same problem. It started racing wildly inside his chest, so loud and distracting, and Eijun wondered if Okumura could hear it amidst the silence of the night.

Under any other circumstances, he wouldn’t have thought much of it, blaming the anticipation of knowing they were so close to Seidou’s victory. This time, however, it’s obvious what’s the real reason. 

During the day, he was so rarely alone with Okumura that being completely alone with him was doing things to him. It didn’t help that he was highly conscious of the small gap between them as they walked, either.

Absolutely nothing had diminished the intensity of his feelings, huh?

Eijun reprimanded himself. This wasn’t the time to be thinking about that. This wasn’t about silly crushes or even about him. He really wanted to ease off the persistent tension surrounding Okumura. Not only for the team’s sake but mainly for his own; Eijun wanted him to play as he always did, giving his all, to be satisfied with himself and not leave any regrets on the field.

Eijun wasn’t sure where he was taking them –he really didn’t think this through– but he ended up leading Okumura to the outskirts of Seidou’s main grounds, going up the stairs and stopping in the long pathway that stretched ahead of them. 

The night was chilly, nothing unbearable, but he was glad he slipped into one of his hoodies before leaving the room. The very last thing he wanted was either of them falling sick the night before the game. 

Eijun eyed Okumura’s blue hoodie, lamenting for a split second that it wasn’t daytime so he could see how well the color matched his equally blue eyes. 

Get a grip, Eijun, he chastised himself again, shaking his head vigorously as if to shoo all those unnecessary mental images away.

“What are we doing he– What are you doing?” Okumura rephrased his question upon seeing Eijun.

Eijun ignored it, drew in a deep breath and reached out to grab Okumura’s shoulders firmly. He was internally dying at the direct eye-contact but he forced himself to hold Okumura’s gaze. His eyes were slightly widened, no doubt in confusion to Eijun’s behavior. 

“Okumura.” 

“Sawamura-senpai?” Okumura responded, puzzled. 

“Tell me the truth,” Eijun said, very seriously. “Tomorrow’s game is making you nervous, isn’t it?” 

Okumura opened his mouth, then closed it only to open it again. “I’m not–” he started but Eijun cut him off. 

“You don’t have to lie. Remember what I always tell you? As partners, communication is important!” Eijun exclaimed solemnly. “So? Are you?”

Okumura sighed, glancing away for a second before looking back at him. “Yeah. A bit,” he admitted. 

Eijun detected the smallest hint of shame in his tone. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said, letting go of him to press his fist to the middle of his chest. “It’s normal to feel overwhelmed before an important game. I mean, remember my first game as the ace? I completely messed up.” He laughed out loud, half-embarrassed.

Okumura didn’t find the memory amusing. “Senpai, if that’s your attempt at trying to make it better, you should know you’re doing the exact opposite.” 

Eijun’s laughter completely ceased with that. 

“Sorry. I’m not really good at this.” He cleared his throat, feeling guilty. “What I actually mean is that I might’ve messed up back then but that doesn’t mean you will, too. You’re better at dealing with these kinds of situations. Besides, we’ve come this far and it hasn’t been out of luck but because all of us know what to do and know how to work as a team.”

“Sawamura-senpai, are you parroting Miyuki-senpai’s words again?” 

Eijun groaned, a bit offended. “No, I’m not. Those are my own words that I’m giving solely to you and I mean them, Okumura. You aren’t alone out there. This isn’t a one man sport. Trust me, I learned that the hard way. You need to learn to trust your teammates and your own abilities.” He lifted his hand. “Just like I trust your mitt, partner,” he said, knowing Okumura would understand.

He grinned when Okumura got it right away and bumped his hand with Eijun’s softly, mimicking their usual mitt bump during a match. Okumura’s fake annoyance only made Eijun smile wider. 

“I... I guess it’s not only the pressure of the game itself but also the pressure coming from people’s expectations,” Okumura muttered, surprising Eijun. “They expect me to fill the absence Miyuki-senpai left behind, and I don’t want to fall short and fail to meet those expectations. I don’t want to drag the team down because of my fault. I’m highly aware that I still lack a great amount of experience so I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it’s getting harder,” he confessed frustratedly. “It’s getting harder to ignore when it’s all I can think about.” 

Eijun fell silent. He didn’t think he’d ever heard Okumura speak so much in one go before –except for that time he told Eijun to shut up–, but he quickly got over it as he realized how close the words hit home. 

It mirrored his own feelings after the ace number was given to him instead of Furuya. He wanted to feel worthy of the mound, of the overwhelming responsibility that was placed over his shoulders. He wanted to be the kind of ace his team trusted completely. 

It was like watching himself pour all those insecurities and frustration out, and it left him momentarily stunned.

Eijun thought long and hard about what to say. It was clear it wasn’t easy for Okumura to open up and admit his insecurities and Eijun didn’t want to give him a half-assed answer. As the older one and most experienced between the two, he wanted to give him genuinely good advice, something he could carry with him and remember whenever things got especially bad.

“I’m sorry, Sawamura-senpai,” Okumura said before Eijun could speak. “We have a very important game tomorrow. This isn’t the time to be talking about this. We should go back.”

Without thinking, Eijun reached out to grab Okumura’s arm when he made to leave. “Okumura, wait.”

Okumura paused, glancing down at Eijun’s fingers, still curled around his arm. Eijun released the hold on his arm abruptly as though the contact had burned him, even though he wasn’t touching his skin directly. 

“Listen, you shouldn’t feel sorry for speaking out about how you feel,” he started, trying his best to put his thoughts into words. “No one on the team expects you to be a copy of Miyuki-senpai and you shouldn’t want to be. That isn’t fair for both of you. You’re not a replacement. Seriously, you need to realize how amazing you are in your own way.” 

Eijun started gesturing to emphasize what he was trying to say. 

“Like, you have this way of making anyone feel at ease when you’re catching for them and you pay attention to the smallest details. You assess every situation from multiple angles to determine what’s the best course of action to follow and you’re— you’re caring and smart and talented. You’re loyal, too, and hard-working. You’re an amazing catcher, otherwise you wouldn’t have made it to the first string in such a short time. I mean, come on! You’re still a first year and you’re already the starting catcher!” Eijun grinned. “That’s pretty incredible, if you ask me.”

He snapped his mouth shut when he saw the stunned look on Okumura’s face. Color rushed to Eijun’s cheeks and he fiercely hoped it went by unnoticed.

“W-What I mean is that you shouldn’t be too harsh on yourself, okay?!” Eijun squeaked out. “Great! Let’s get back before the Boss kills us for sleeping in.” He started walking away robotically.

“Sawamura-senpai.”

Eijun flinched, pausing a few steps down the stairs. He bit his lip, taking a subtle breath.

Come on, Eijun, act normal.

He whirled around. “Yes?!” He answered, voice cracking. He internally cringed.

Okumura’s expression, usually so guarded, was unexpectedly open under the moonlight, so much Eijun could see his words had touched him on some personal level.  

“In another time, and if I didn’t know better, that pep-talk would’ve rubbed me the wrong way. But it’s different now,” Okumura said, approaching him until he was only two steps above Eijun and locked eyes with him. “Thank you,” he whispered, voice full of sincerity.

Eijun swallowed hard. “A-Anytime!”

“We can go now,” Okumura said, completely oblivious to Eijun’s heart thumping like a hummingbird in his chest.

The way back was just as silent, but not of the uncomfortable kind. Eijun was thinking about setting several alarms when he felt a faint touch against the back of his hand that lingered for a few seconds. His breath got caught in his throat. 

The ghost touch vanished and he glanced over at Okumura, who’d shifted back to his usual expression, which revealed nothing.

Before Eijun could say something, Okumura turned to him. “Goodnight, Sawamura-senpai.” 

Confused, Eijun realized then they’d just reached Room Five. Okumura didn’t wait for a reply and continued the way towards his own room, leaving Eijun watching after him stupidly. 

***

Under all the sweat coating his skin, Eijun let out a roar of victory, high on adrenaline, even before the words ‘ game set ’ reverberated through the stadium’s speakers. His face broke into a huge grin as he watched his teammates celebrating around him. 

Across the field, he found Okumura’s gaze. His catcher mask was up, sweaty blond locks framing his flushed face. He wasn’t smiling, but his blue eyes, so bright and alive, like Eijun had never seen, told him all he needed to know.

***

It’s mid-March and winter is slowly giving way to spring which to Eijun, was synonymum to Spring Koshien. Following the tournament, Seidou will welcome the new first years to the team.

Eijun is definitely thrilled to see what kind of skills the first years will bring to Seidou. But he can’t deny that it’s impossible for him not to feel a spike of envy over the fact that while they will be starting their journey, his own will inevitably be coming to an end. 

To be fair, he still has a few months of tournaments and plenty of games left but the clock never stops ticking and each day is one step closer to the end of his high school days. 

Time can’t be stopped and he refuses to waste it dwelling on things that cannot be changed. It’s what he decided last year, and he has every intention to stick to that mindset. He wants to enjoy and get the most out of whatever time he has left, no matter how short it is. Maybe that’s why he’s always focused on living in the present. The future isn’t here yet and the past has long ceased to exist, so it’s useless to waste time worrying about it.

The moment to ponder about his future and make any important decisions will come but not yet. 

Not yet . 

***

Yeah, I will definitely get the most out of every situation , Eijun thinks as he keeps peeking at Okumura from his bed. They’re in the middle of a study session in Eijun’s room. Naturally, Eijun is focusing on everything else but the text book in front of him, including a very blond, very grumpy catcher who happened to be both his batterymate and his crush. 

For a few weeks now, Eijun has been using Kuramochi-senpai’s old bed because it’s more practical this way. He’s currently stretched over the covers whilst Okumura made himself comfortable on the floor. He’s sitting cross-legged, with his back pressed to the bed, stealing every ounce of Eijun’s attention.

He’s sitting so close that if Eijun extended his hand a few centimeters he’d be touching his hair. It’s embarrassing to admit but he’s fantasized many times about touching Okumura’s hair, about threading his fingers through his blond locks, curling one of them around his finger. 

After all these months, he’s still got it bad or so it seems.

It’s weird that Okumura hasn’t called Eijun out for losing his focus— Seriously, he has some kind of sixth sense. That’s when Eijun realizes the room has been deadly silent for the last twenty minutes. Not even the rustle of paper or the scribble of a pencil has been heard in all that time.

Eijun glances down at the textbook in Okumura’s lap only to realize he’s been stuck on the same page for a while. He’s about to ask but Okumura beats him to it, shattering the silence.

“We have very few months left.” 

Eijun blinks. He definitely wasn’t expecting that but he was even less ready to hear the pain lacing his voice.

“Yeah,” Eijun murmurs gloomily, because he has thought of that countless times and because he’s gone through that twice, so he knows exactly how it feels. 

Except there are two differences this time around.

One, Eijun will be the one leaving.

And two, he didn’t have a crush on Miyuki-senpai or Kuramochi-senpai, or any of the third years. 

Well... He did have a tiny, fleeting crush on Miyuki-senpai that faded relatively quickly, so quickly Eijun isn’t even sure if he could call it a crush when it leaned more towards thinking he was annoyingly attractive –when he wasn’t teasing Eijun, that is– than anything.

He didn’t feel any of the things he does when he’s around Okumura. No sweaty palms, no blushes, no brains turned to mush when doing something so simple as locking eyes.

“That’s why we should make them count, partner!” Eijun goes on, mustering up a cheerfulness he doesn’t feel.

“Yes, you’re right, Sawamura-senpai,” Okumura easily agrees. “It’s just…” he trails off. “Nevermind.”

“‘It’s just’?” Eijun prompts. When Okumura remains silent, he sits up on the bed so fast the room spins for a few seconds. “Oh no, you’re not leaving it like that, wolf boy!” 

Okumura sighs. “Are you ever dropping that nickname?” 

“Not a chance! And I know what you’re trying to do, wolf boy!” Eijun says, accusatory. 

Another sigh. “And what am I trying to do, senpai?”

“You’re trying to change the subject! But it’s not gonna work on me!” 

Okumura doesn’t reply for what seems like a long time. 

“Will we still see each other?” Okumura asks quietly, fidgeting with the corner of one the pages of his textbook. “Once it’s over.”

Oh.

Eijun’s heart does a somersault and he has no clue what kind of face he’s making, so maybe it’s a good thing that Okumura isn’t looking at him. 

“Of course we will!” Eijun says brightly. “You’ll still see me at school and I’ll definitely drop by during practice. Just wait, I’ll be in the stands, first row, ready to cheer you on!” he promises. “There’s absolutely no way I’m staying away from it.” 

From you.

“And after that?” A whisper. 

Eijun is taken aback by the question. Not even he has let himself think that far ahead. He doesn’t want to blurt out whatever words of comfort come to his mind first and which may end up being a lie. Neither of them knows what kind of future awaits them and the last thing he wants to do is lie to Okumura.

In the end, Eijun chooses to give the best, sincere answer he can.

“We’ll make it work out.”

Okumura doesn’t respond and worry shoots through Eijun. Did he say the wrong thing? From where he’s sitting, he can’t really see Okumura’s face, and it’s a bummer not being able to get a hint of what’s going through his mind.

Eijun isn’t thinking at all when he scoots closer to Okumura and reaches out to caress his cheek with the back of his fingers, marvelling at the softness he finds, to get his attention.

“Hey,” he whispers so close to Okumura his nose catches a whiff of the shampoo they use in the baths, and this proximity has Eijun thinking that if Okumura turned his head just now, they’d be kissing.

But the scent, the sensations, all of it is gone too soon, far too soon. 

Okumura backs away from his touch, finally looking at Eijun. Wide-eyed and visibly shaken, it isn’t the expression he expected to see. 

“What are you doing?” 

Reality crashes into Eijun, stomach dropping to his feet. His brain shuts down, having no idea of what to say as he can’t possibly explain himself, because out of all the goddamn ways he could’ve gotten Okumura’s attention, he had to go for the most questionable one. 

“Uh, uh… I mean… I–” Eijun’s voice fails him. He opens and closes his mouth so many times he bets he looks like a fish out of the water. 

The only sound in the room is the tick tick tick coming from Asada’s alarm clock on his desk, and the more seconds that go by in complete silence the more Eijun wants to run to the nearest hill and never come back.

He is unsure of how much time passes. It could’ve been a single minute or an eternity itself before Okumura slams his book shut, startling Eijun in the process, and lurches to his feet. 

“I’m sorry, Sawamura-senpai,” Okumura murmurs quickly, avoiding looking at Eijun as he slips into his shoes at the genkan . “I forgot I was going to meet with Taku. I’ll see you later.” 

And just like that, without even waiting for a response, Okumura is gone. 

Eijun stares at the closed door.

One... two... three ... He calmly counts in his head twice.

“What the hell was that?!” Eijun yells, covering his burning face with both hands as he falls back against the mattress. Shit, shit, shit. He wants to bang his head against the wall for doing something so unbelievably stupid.

Seeing Okumura act so unlike himself and make up a lie so he could leave in a rush because he clearly didn’t want to stay in the same room as Eijun any longer… It hurts, and it hurts a lot.

Eijun should at least be relieved that while Okumura seemed shocked by the gesture, he didn’t look at Eijun with disgust. He didn’t even look mad. 

He didn’t look at me at all .

Eijun fervently wishes he could go back in time and for once, think before acting. He still can’t believe he exposed himself to his crush, no less. He doesn’t know how he will be able to look at Okumura in the face the next time he sees him. 

Scratch that.

He definitely doesn’t know how Okumura will act around him the next time he sees Eijun. Will he pretend nothing happened? Or will he demand an explanation from Eijun? Or worse, will he reject him straight away? 

Eijun curses. He promised himself he wouldn’t ever tell Okumura but this situation is somewhat worse. He ruined everything in the span of three seconds and he has no way of fixing it. 

Part of him is sure he’s blowing things out of proportion. It wasn’t like he flat-out told Okumura he had the biggest crush on him or did something as reckless as kissing him (thank god, Okumura isn’t a mindreader). 

His head is a jumbled mess of thoughts so he decides to leave it alone for a while.

Soon, it occurs to Eijun that he should’ve said he had an eyelash or something on his cheek and was removing it for him as his trustworthy senpai. Perfect. Now, he needs to find a time machine to hop on.

He rolls over on the bed so he’s now staring at the wall. He aches to be in the bullpen, to throw until his arm burns and forget about everything else. He could go do exactly that but he’d be risking running into Okumura. The alternative is easier. He searches for his phone, plugs in his earphones and turns up the volume of his music until his ears hurt. 

***

Neither of them mention it. 

Relief washes over Eijun like balm on an open wound when Okumura doesn’t treat him any differently. His attitude towards him doesn’t change in the slightest. He never stops looking out for Eijun, continues to be very outspoken and makes sure they’re on the same wavelength while playing.

As expected of wolf boy .

But his reassurance doesn’t last for long.

At first, he’s unaware of it and it’s no wonder why. His weeks are filled with classes, schoolwork, tests and the Boss demanding the best out of his players. His hectic schedule nowadays hardly leaves room for anything else.

Time makes it all the more evident, however; the tension that wasn’t there before, the unspoken words lingering in the warm, summer breeze, heavy and oppressive. But worse is the aloofness that has settled between them like an impenetrable wall and has no intention of leaving.

They don’t spend time together if it isn’t as teammates, their exchanges become less and less frequent when it’s not baseball related, they are never alone anymore, and it has reached the point where Eijun doesn’t even know if that’s good or bad. 

Their honest talk under the moonlight all those months ago now seems like a tiny dot in the distance he can barely see, shrinking day after day, not doing anything to stop it.

He’s equally as guilty as Okumura for that, even if there’s a small voice in his head nagging at him, persisting and unyielding, because in the end, Eijun does want to know.

No , he needs to know what Okumura is thinking, if he’s just as troubled over this situation, if he wants nothing but to fix this gap, too, and if for some unknown reason he hasn’t tried yet.

Several times, Eijun’s had the opportunity, the breach, to speak up. The words are there, burning the tip of his tongue, begging to be voiced, but he never does. He can’t risk it, that’s what he tells himself. Not when they’re only one game away from making it to Summer Koshien. The last chance for the third years, Eijun included.

For the sake of their teammates and themselves, it’s better this way. 

***

Time is a weird thing.

One day, he’s in the tranquility of his home in Nagano, ignorant that his whole life is about to turn a hundred and eighty degrees, moments before an unknown woman from Tokyo shows up at their front door and rings the bell, and on the next, he’s standing on the mound in Hanshin Koshien Stadium, head high and arms held up in the air, releasing the most heartful roar he’s capable of producing from deep within his chest.

Exhilaration pumps through his veins, searing and thrilling, because as the scoreboard shines red with a two-digit number that puts Seidou two runs ahead, and the announcer’s jovial voice blares out through the speakers, indicating the conclusion of the game and Seidou’s first victory ever in Nationals, Eijun is reminded once again of how deeply he loves this. 

There was never any other path for him and there will never be.

“Eijun-kun!” 

Eijun turns to see a sweaty and beaming Harucchi with Furuya in tow rushing towards him. Behind them, Kanemaru, Toujou and the rest of the team follows, even those in the dugout sprint towards Eijun, all of them wearing impossibly euphoric expressions on their sweaty faces. Eijun’s entire body shakes with ecstatic laughter, completely over the moon, as he shares the sweet taste of victory along with his teammates.

“Good game, senpai,” says a voice behind him once things calm down the littlest bit, if that’s even possible.

Eijun would recognize that voice anywhere. His chest swells with a myriad of emotions and, for a single second, he pretends the last couple of months never happened, that everything between them is right again. He forgets it all as he whirls around and pulls Okumura into a hug, wrapping his arms tightly around his shoulders. 

Okumura stiffens, gasping sharply next to Eijun’s ear. He was obviously caught off-guard but he recovers fairly quickly. Eijun feels his body relax against him and then the warmth of his embrace. It’s hesitant and a bit clumsy, and Eijun guessed as much— that Okumura wasn’t a touchy-feely person. 

Eijun smiles. He can feel the thundering speed of Okumura’s heart pressing against him, mirroring the erratic pace of his own, no doubt in response to the adrenaline and exertion after having played the most important match of their lives so far. 

“We did it, partner,” Eijun says loudly so he can be heard above all the noise inside the stadium, but just enough so Okumura is the only one who hears it.

“Was there any other possible outcome for us, Sawamura-senpai?” His voice isn’t loud, but somehow, Eijun hears him perfectly.

His grin widens at the unwavering trust and confidence oozing from Okumura’s response. He pulls away to look him in the eyes. 

“Not in the slightest.”

***

Life is a whirlwind of emotions after that.

Big, fat tears rolling down his cheeks during the afternoon of the surprise party the managers organized and held for the team was as embarrassing as it was inevitable, but he wasn’t the only one. It was a celebration party but they all knew what it truly meant for the third years.

Having to move his things from the Spirit Dorm to occupy one of the rooms in a different dorm, away from his beloved baseball grounds, was equally as painful, if not even more. 

Eijun has to remind himself several times that this is not the end yet, that he still has over seven months before he leaves the place he called home for the last three years, the only place that helped him grow both as a person and as a pitcher.

It’s okay. It’s not over yet. He still has time.

***

Eijun has never been more focused on his schoolwork and studies than he is now. He still has to make the immeasurable effort to not fall asleep during his classes, though; a bad habit he still can’t seem to shake off no matter how much time he sleeps the night before. But for the first time in his life, academically speaking, he really is giving his all.

In the process, he’s killing two birds with one stone; his grades aren’t suffering but also keeping himself busy works as the perfect distraction from the fact that he hasn’t seen Okumura in weeks.

Eijun’s wanted to talk to him numerous times but there’s always something holding him back, forcing him to stay put and away from the practice grounds.

It was during one night, while having trouble falling asleep, that he realized he was afraid. 

Of what exactly? That their friendship didn’t mean the same to Okumura as it did to Eijun, and he’s forgotten about him altogether, and moved on with his life? Eijun knows he’s being incredibly irrational. It’s Okumura who he’s talking about; he doesn’t do things to please others, he does them because he wants to. 

Ever since he was a first year, he supported, helped and stayed by Eijun's side because he wanted to.

It’s as simple as that.

Suddenly, Eijun can’t bear the thought of allowing this distance to get to a place where it can’t be fixed anymore, of ending things like this, and never seeing Okumura again once Eijun leaves Seidou next year. 

It would be the same as belittling their connection and friendship and accepting that they were only friends because they were battery partners and had to work together when Eijun knows that’s an utter lie. Complete bullshit.

And didn’t he assure Okumura that afternoon they’d still see each other after he retired? That Eijun would be there, supporting him and cheering him on? God . He’s the worst. He made sure to give him true answers but this indifference is making his comforting words look like blatant lies. 

No . Eijun absolutely refuses to keep showing indifference to the current state of their relationship, because that’s exactly what it looks like.

He can’t— He won’t let it happen. 

***

The following day, Eijun finds himself outside the bullpen. 

If navigating through the places he used to walk by every single day produces an undeniable feeling of longing and nostalgia in him, he cannot fathom how bad it will be in the near future.  

His former teammates, and especially the first years, all greeted Eijun with cheery smiles on his way to the bullpen, and one would think that they hadn’t seen him in years when it’s been a month at most. It honestly made him a bit flustered, though he couldn’t help but to like the attention maybe a little too much.

And now, he’s currently standing on the other side of the fence, watching him .

It’s been only a month but he’s seeing Okumura in a different light. He’s changed , Eijun realizes. While Okumura has always been on the slender side, it’s true that he’s put on a bit more muscle and his shoulders have gotten a tad broader as a result of their rigorous training. Over the summer, he also went through a sudden growth spurt that put him at the same height as Eijun.

It’s not just the physical part, however. 

Over the last year, Eijun got used to seeing Okumura crouching in front of him, facing each other as they communicated wordlessly and read the other’s gaze. This time, Eijun has the chance to study him from a different perspective. 

He’s gained a lot more confidence in himself and it shows. Long gone is the boy who worried about not living up to people’s expectations.

He’s currently partnered up with Asada whilst Yui is catching for Kuki, and next to them there’s Minami and Hayashi, the two most promising first years.

An excited smile spreads across his face upon seeing the extraordinary improvement Asada has achieved so far. He doesn’t look as tense anymore and his pitches are more controlled, more confident.

Okumura knows it too. He praises his throws and a couple of times he even jogs over to Asada to speak directly to him. At this distance, Eijun can’t hear what he’s saying but he keeps gesturing and Asada’s timid smile transforms into a real one, nodding eagerly at him. 

It’s one of the things Eijun has always loved about Okumura, this innate ability of making anyone feel at ease. It may not be as apparent at first, but once you get past the bluntness and seemingly cold exterior, you realize how considerate he actually is, making it incredibly easy to work with him.

Eijun idly notices that a few of the first years have gathered next to him, watching their teammates practice. They talk and whisper among themselves but Eijun half-listens to them, too busy watching Okumura, who is still surprisingly oblivious to his presence. He does catch a few ‘ Okumura-senpai’ being murmured in awed tones, prompting a proud smile out of Eijun.

“Okumura-senpai is amazing, isn’t he, Sawamura-senpai?”

Eijun tears his eyes away from Okumura and turns to see Yoshikawa standing next to him. The light-haired boy isn’t looking at Eijun, his whole attention centered on a single person. It instantly rubs Eijun the wrong way.

Yoshikawa never bothered to hide his sheer admiration for Okumura since the day of the introductions, eager to have him catch for him and often following him around like a lost puppy, much to Eijun’s displeasure.

While Eijun once found said idolization amusing and totally harmless, now he’s so taken aback at the unexpected flash of irritation that stirs up in his gut. And the reason behind his reaction is a no-brainer.

He doesn’t like the way Yoshikawa is looking at him. 

Frankly, Eijun thinks he’s being a bit childish and unfair towards Yoshikawa, who has objectively done nothing wrong and when the only feelings he harbors towards Okumura are most likely of the innocent type. Though, he can’t be sure.

“He is,” he answers because he isn’t going to get petty about this and because, well, it is true.

Okumura is amazing. 

He may only voice his thoughts when he believes it’s necessary but he has the kind of presence, he carries himself in a way that draws all the attention to him and makes you want to look his way.

The thing is that up until that moment, Eijun never thought it’d turn into something that bothered him, and it’s pretty evident why it didn’t all this time. 

A half and a month ago, he was still by Okumura’s side. Despite everything, he still saw him and talked to him on a daily basis. Ever since they met, they’ve shared many ups and downs, and most recently, celebrated Seidou’s most important accomplishment together. Now, Eijun isn’t Okumura’s battery partner anymore nor have they talked in weeks.

The absolute truth of it stings more than he’d like to admit but it is what it is. 

But it’s at this moment, after Okumura rises to his feet to send the ball back to Asada and finally looks Eijun’s way, blue eyes widening fractionally and features softening ever so slightly behind his catcher’s mask, when Eijun makes up his mind.

Don’t leave any regrets behind. 

That’s what he repeated in his head over and over again in multiple situations and he thoroughly intends to keep that mindset until the very end.

***

It takes a grand total of five minutes to fix his hair and clothes in the nearest bathroom, organize his thoughts as best as he can, and slow down his heartbeat by inhaling and exhaling deep breaths as if he were on the mound simmering down his nerves.

Then, he sets off for the second years’ classrooms. 

Eijun still has trouble deciding on what exactly he’s going to tell him, but his desire to see him consumes everything else, so he’s not worried. Words will come.

Keeping that in mind, he rounds the corner, glances up and stops short.

Okumura is standing at the farthest end of the hallway, he isn’t looking Eijun’s way and more importantly, he isn’t alone.

There’s a brown-haired girl in front of him, and even if Eijun can’t hear a single thing of the exchange, he knows what he’s seeing. The way she’s fidgeting with the hem of her school jacket, looking everywhere but at Okumura with a shy expression...

Holy shit . Eijun really is witnessing a confession that seemed to be taken straight out of one of his shoujo mangas. 

“Sawamura-senpai,” a voice singsongs next to him and Eijun shrieks, jumping out of his skin, before he’s pulled away from Okumura’s sight. 

Once his heart doesn’t feel like bursting out of his chest, Eijun focuses on the familiar face before him. Seto is looking at him curiously behind his red-framed glasses.

“What brings you here, senpai?” 

“Me?!” Eijun squeaks. “I– Um– Oh, yeah! I needed to talk to Okumura but it looks like he’s busy at the moment.” 

Seto tilts his head to the side, confused, and pokes his head into the hallway.

“Oh wow, it’s the third time this week.” He whistles, seemingly impressed. “That’s a new record.”

Huh?!

“W-What do you mean?” 

“Koushuu has always been popular among the girls and I bet some of the guys too. But he’s completely oblivious to it,” Seto mumbles to himself. “Nah, it’s more like he doesn’t care. He rejects them every time. Crazy, eh? To be honest, I’m a bit jealous.” Seto laughs heartily, letting Eijun know he doesn’t mean it. 

That makes two of us.  

Eijun bites down on his lip, hard, to stop the question that’s threatening to escape his mouth but utterly fails.

“So…” he says casually, feigning disinterest. “Why does he reject everyone? Does he like someone already or…?” He leaves the question hanging in the air. 

Seto doesn’t answer right away. He’s studying Eijun in a way that makes him regret immediately opening his mouth. He feels naked, exposed, as if everything he’s felt in the last year was written so plainly on his face. 

A single drop of sweat drips down his back despite the chilly weather.

“If he does, he hasn’t told me,” Seto replies at last, but something in his tone indicates there’s more to it. “In all the time I’ve known him, I don’t think he’s ever liked someone that way.”

Eijun has no clue whether to be relieved or not by that answer. 

“Koushuu won’t admit it but,” Seto carries on, “it’s obvious he misses you.”

Eijun sucks in a sharp intake of breath, the string of thoughts inside his head coming to a halt.

“He’s always thought highly of you, senpai. You’re pretty much the reason he decided to come here, and he never changes his mind when he‘s got his eyes set on something. You see, Koushuu is really stubborn, but sometimes, that same stubbornness can be contradictory.” Seto grins knowingly. 

Eijun is completely lost. On one hand, he’s on cloud nine after hearing Okumura decided to come to Seidou because of him — and he wants to dig more answers out of Seto regarding that valuable piece of information. On the other hand, he has no idea what Seto means with the whole ‘stubborn’ and ‘contradictions' thing but he’s got the feeling that if he asked, he wouldn’t get a clear answer.

“By the way, you may want to know that Koushuu isn’t going back home for winter break. Something about his mom being busy overseas due to her job,” Seto casually says, Eijun’s confusion escalating from twenty to a hundred real quick. “Well, I gotta head to the library, Sawamura-senpai. Good luck with everything!” 

Eijun stares dumbfoundedly at Seto’s retreating back. 

What the hell?!

Whatever. He’ll figure out the true meaning behind Seto’s tricky words later.

Eijun slaps both of his cheeks in an attempt to steel himself. He turns around and — and he doesn’t get far. He immediately collides with something solid, groaning as he stumbles back. Then… A familiar scent that has his heart hammering against his ribcage.

Okumura is rubbing his forehead, shooting a reproaching look at Eijun. 

“Hold on. Why is it only my fault?! You weren’t looking, either!” 

“Why are you here, Sawamura-senpai?” Contrary to how the question is phrased, Okumura’s tone isn’t impolite.

Rather than answering, Eijun notices more and more students keep coming up the stairs and from the classrooms. Definitely not the best place to hold a private conversation.

“I need to talk to you,” he says, turning back to Okumura.

“Not here,” Okumura says, reading Eijun’s mind. “Let’s go somewhere private.”

It’s the most logical thing to say but logic completely flies over Eijun’s head when his imagination is already let loose with the possibility of multiple scenarios in which that sentence can be applied to.

He nods stiffly at Okumura. 

They can’t go far because next period is starting soon, but they manage to find a deserted spot next to a staircase which provides enough privacy to talk. When Eijun swivels around, he finds Okumura looking at him expectantly.

There’s so much he wants to say that he doesn’t even know where to start. 

“So you and that girl…?” He blurts out.

Of course . He wants to slam his head against the wall.

Okumura frowns. “Were you eavesdropping, senpai?” 

“I wasn’t!” Eijun defends himself. “Yeah, I got there and saw you talking with someone but I left. I wasn’t eavesdropping. I swear!” 

Okumura doesn’t look wholly convinced. 

“Was that a confession?” God. Eijun, shut up.

Okumura gazes at him intently, as if he were trying to read Eijun better. “Why do you want to know?” 

“N-No reason!” Eijun lets out a forced laugh. 

“It was.” Simple and direct. 

“Oh.”

“I don’t even know her so I turned her down.” 

So cold!

“Even if I did know her, it would’ve been a no, still,” Okumura says earnestly. “She seemed nice enough so it wasn’t her fault I can’t reciprocate her feelings." 

Okumura leaves it at that, watching him closely, gently encouraging him to see something that may not seem as obvious, and Eijun— Eijun is at a loss of words. Okumura was vague enough but not so much as to mistake what he truly means without saying it directly.  

So he rejects all those girls without a second thought because it’s not girls who he likes, but boys . Okumura likes boys and Eijun can glimpse a sliver of hope in the distance.

“What is it you want to talk about?” Okumura asks, not minding his lack of a response.

Eijun forces himself to shove his admission to the back of his mind, storing it to do a very thorough revisit later. 

Instead of answering his question, Eijun’s eyes sweep over his face. He notes his hair has gotten a bit longer. When he’s not playing, Okumura’s hair usually falls over one of his eyes, and it’s no different this time, but it is the first time Eijun has to make the conscious effort of keeping himself from reaching out to brush his hair aside, wanting to see both of them.

It’s ironic because Eijun remembers wishing he said it was an eyelash he was brushing away all those months ago and now, there’s an actual eyelash on Okumura’s cheek.

He shouldn’t, he absolutely shouldn’t because Okumura admitting he likes boys isn’t synonymum to him returning Eijun’s feelings. But… Eijun is tired; he’s tired of having to keep up with this pretense, of having to suppress his feelings when all he wants to do is shout to the whole world he likes Okumura Koushuu.

So Eijun gets rid of his fear and doubts as he takes a step forward. He places his hand over Okumura’s cheek, cupping one side of his face, and immediately feels him tensing up under his touch, but that doesn’t stop Eijun, using his thumb to caress his skin, brushing off the eyelash.

He’s already bracing himself for the upcoming negative reaction but he’s left waiting, because Okumura’s eyes have fallen closed and he’s leaning into his palm as Eijun’s thumb continues stroking his cheek. 

Eijun forgets how to breathe, motions faltering for a second, and his stomach, his goddamn stomach, is filled by the violent fluttering of a million butterflies.

It’s hard to believe Okumura is going along with it, that he’s letting him do this, that he looks like he’s enjoying every gentle touch Eijun gives him. This is the same person who ran away from Eijun after a fleeting action that paled in comparison to what’s happening now. 

Eijun is almost afraid of stopping, of doing anything that bursts this small bubble of unforeseen intimacy and reality comes back to kick him in the gut. 

With trembling fingers, his hand moves upward and brushes Okumura’s hair aside. His eyes choose to flutter open at that moment and then they’re staring at each other, and it’s in a way, far more intimate than any physical touch.

Eijun always told himself he was being a fool for hoping, but maybe he was no fool, after all.

Inevitably, and spurred on by this turn of events, Eijun’s gaze drops to Okumura’s lips, pink and slightly-parted, and so very tempting. It’s risky to do this when they’re out in the open, subject to intrusive eyes, but Eijun cannot wait any longer. 

It’s not a simple want or a wish anymore. He needs to know what kissing Okumura Koushuu feels like at least once in his life. He needs to know if his mouth is soft and warm, if it’s pliant under his, if his lips are slightly chapped, if he’d touch him back, or if he’d make little sounds in the back of his throat from kissing Eijun. 

The moment Okumura’s gaze also drops to his mouth with half-lidded eyes, Eijun knows he’s lost the battle. 

“Sawamu–”

They jolt away from each other when someone slams a door nearby, voices making their way to them, getting louder by the second.

Automatically, he and Okumura put a considerable distance between them and Eijun has never felt more cold. Dismay washes over him as soon as he realizes he can’t look Okumura in the eye. He chooses to stare at the floor as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. 

Students stroll by behind them, laughing at a joke and complaining about their next class, before their voices fade away. 

“Sawamura-senpai,” Okumura doesn’t say his name like a minute ago, when he started whispering it, carrying the want they both felt. 

He’s reverted to his usual collected tone, perhaps sounding a bit breathless, and Eijun latches onto that, taking it as a sign that Okumura’s just as affected as he is. 

Eijun swallows, lifting his gaze from the floor.

“Is there something you wanted to tell me? Next period will begin soon.” 

“Yeah,” Eijun replies, voice far more controlled than how he actually feels. He thinks about his conversation with Seto and makes a decision. “I wanted to know if… if…” Come on, Eijun, you can do it . “If you’d like to spend winter break with me?” He speaks in a rush, words becoming a jumble of unintelligible sounds. 

Okumura blinks then frowns. “Sorry?” 

He takes an audible breath.

“I heard you weren’t going back home for winter break, that’s why I thought you, uh, maybe, you wanted to spend it with me? In Nagano.”

Eijun waits with bated breath for his answer as the invitation sinks in. 

“Taku told you, didn’t he?” Okumura’s expression is unreadable.

“Well, uh, I guess he did?” Eijun lets out a nervous laugh.

“Isn’t it going to be an issue with your family, senpai?” 

“Not at all!” Eijun responds quickly. “They love visits! Believe me, it won’t be a problem at all.”

“If that’s the case, then I’ll go, ” Okumura easily accepts.

Eijun’s head snaps up. “Wait. Really?!” 

He nods.

After the initial elation wears off, Eijun becomes acutely aware of the hefty weight of this invitation. He’s going to spend over ten days with Okumura alone in his hometown, in his house, in his room . He suddenly feels light-headed. Yeah, his whole family will be there, his family whose boundaries are non-existent and lack any kind of respect towards his privacy. That’s actually going to be the real problem.

Eijun goes crimson when the implications of why he’s annoyed to begin with by the potential lack of privacy dawn on him.

Just what is he expecting to happen between them behind a closed door?! 

He glances over at Okumura who’s still watching him, impassive, and a new wave of heat rises to his face. He seriously wonders how he is going to survive this.

***

Eijun may as well start believing it was a fevered dream; a fantasy conjured up by his hopeless brain to keep torturing him, as if being close to Okumura and not being able to do anything wasn’t bad enough.  

They never bring out whatever transpired between them that day, some sort of silent agreement. But on the bright side, he’s profoundly relieved to see they seem to be on good terms again. 

They still don’t see each other as much as Eijun would like to, both of them caught up in their own responsibilities. Their paths seem to be going in opposite directions, but in one way or another, they always find each other again.

Fall Tournament arrives and, as Eijun promised, he finds the best spot in the stands, and along with Harucchi and Furuya, they’re more than ready to cheer their former teammates on. Eijun tries to attend every game, infinitely proud to watch them put their heart and soul into it.

After the hustle of the tournament comes much calmer days. 

Sometimes, Eijun would drop by the practice grounds when there’s not a single soul left after a long day, and despite being already exhausted from all the physical activity, Okumura would always find time and energy to catch his pitches.

These quiet moments, when it feels like they’re the only two people left on Earth, and the soft thud of the baseball hitting the mitt is the only sound to be heard as dusk comes and goes, are the ones Eijun always looks forward the most. 

***

By the time December rolls around, Eijun is a ball of unrestrained energy, jittery with anticipation.

School continues to be a blessed distraction, and he pours all his focus and time into it, to the point that it’s not really a miracle when he breezes through finals, to Kanemaru’s shock. 

Eijun doesn’t even have it in him to get offended because school, exams, and everything else fade into nothingness as soon as he looks up and sees Okumura walking up to him, duffel bag slung over his shoulder. 

Eijun knows he’s blatantly staring, but how couldn’t he?  

Okumura is wearing a dark coat with that specific blue hoodie that matches the color of his eyes so well underneath. Dark pants are hugging his legs nicely, and why does he always dress so infuriatingly well? Seriously. 

But what truly makes Eijun forget he has to breathe is seeing the half ponytail Okumura has styled his hair into, leaving locks of blond hair falling to each side of his face where his cheeks are painted a soft pink due to the cold.

Yeah, Eijun definitely has trouble doing something as simple as breathing.

“You look good,” Eijun breathes out, shamelessly.

“Did you wait for long?” Okumura asks.

They both speak at the same time and it could be Eijun’s eyes tricking him, but he zeroes in on how Okumura’s flush deepens once he registers Eijun’s compliment. 

“So do you, Sawamura-senpai,” he responds quietly, not looking Eijun in the eye.

Eijun has to quirk both eyebrows at the unexpected display of shyness coming from Okumura, out of all people, before he blushes himself, finding the wall behind him far more interesting. 

Awkward silence settles between them, heavy and tangible, and a wave of bewilderment washes over Eijun. It’s not like themselves to be acting this way. 

“No, I just got here actually!” Eijun says, remembering that Okumura asked a question. He beams at him. “Ready to go, wolf boy?!” 

Okumura draws his gaze back to Eijun. “I’ve never been more ready, senpai.”

***

It’s a relatively long journey to Nagano.

First, they had to hop on the local train to get to Tokyo station, and if Tokyo station was always brimming with people rushing by in all directions, being here during such a busy season is a complete headache. 

Eijun glances down at this phone, eyeing the hour. They still have some time to kill before their shinkansen departs to Nagano. Okumura is the one who suggests grabbing some hot drinks in the meantime. 

It doesn’t take long for Eijun to realize why this small adventure feels a little odd; he was always used to being in Okumura’s company in Seidou’s grounds or at most, on the bus heading towards their next game. Never in such normal places like a train station or a coffee shop. It’s unfamiliar but Eijun is enjoying every second immensely. 

The warm, cozy atmosphere of the coffee shop greets them and Eijun relaxes further, breathing in the bitter aroma of roasted coffee beans. He’s never been a big coffee drinker, preferring sweeter drinks. Reason why he chooses hot chocolate from the menu whilst Okumura goes for a vanilla latte.

Drinks in hand, they find a small table that offers as much privacy as one can hope to get during such a busy hour.

Eijun’s phone vibrates inside his pocket and he pulls it out, nearly choking on his hot chocolate when he reads the text he’s just received.

Eijun-kun! Good luck! You can do it d( ͡o ∇ ͡o )b

Ha-Harucchi?! 

Eijun waits for a second text but nothing else comes and he sits there, puzzled by Haruichi’s peculiar message. He glances up and finds Okumura staring down at his own phone with a half-annoyed, half-confused frown. Eijun wouldn’t have found it strange if it weren’t for his rosy cheeks. When he catches Eijun watching him, he quickly locks his phone and slides it back into his coat pocket. 

“Does it taste good?” Okumura asks.

“Huh?” 

“Your drink.” He gestures at Eijun’s hot chocolate with his head. 

Eijun emits a positive sound. “Yup! Wanna try?” He pushes his cup across the table towards Okumura, eager to hear his opinion.

Hold up. Isn’t this the equivalent to an indirect kiss?!

His stomach makes an involuntary jump. 

Utterly transfixed, he watches as Okumura takes the cup without hesitation and places his lips where Eijun’s own were moments ago, taking a sip. He immediately grimaces, setting the cup back onto the table. 

“Just how much sugar is in this, senpai?”

“What? It tastes perfectly fine!”

“It’s so sweet I can feel my lifespan shortening.”

“You’re so dramatic.” Eijun laughs heartily. “And there isn’t such a thing as ‘too much sugar’!” 

Okumura isn’t convinced. 

“Okay. Let me taste yours then!” 

Eijun grabs Okumura’s vanilla latte, drinking a long sip, and it’s now his turn to make a face. 

“What the hell? Did you even put sugar in this?”

“I did,” he replies, matter-of-fact. 

“Oh, yeah? Well. It’s clearly not enough.” As if to make a point, he empties half of his hot chocolate in one go, burning his tongue in the process and drawing out a pained noise from his throat. “ It burns! ”

Okumura merely stares at him from across the table, and Eijun is about to call him out on his lack of sympathy and concern for his senpai, when he sees it. 

He has his chin propped up on his hand over the table, mouth concealed by his fingers, except Eijun manages to catch a glimpse of the slight curve of his lips and a look he doesn’t remember ever seeing in Okumura. 

It’s small but very, very real. A smile . 

Sawamura Eijun and his clumsiness brought a smile out of Okumura Koushuu. 

It’s funny how such an ordinary gesture can make him feel as if he were on the top of the world, and the need to reach out and lower Okumura’s hand, so he can see it fully, without any barriers, is greater than anything else.

***

It’s almost seven in the evening when they arrive in Nagano, taking twenty more minutes to make it to his house in a single piece. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Okumura taking in the expanse of green surrounding his traditional house which looks just as Eijun remembers, offering a sense of familiarity and comfort so different from the nostalgia Seidou’s grounds produce in him. 

At the entrance, Eijun pauses, hand stilling on the sliding door. 

“Uh, I gotta warn you,” Eijun tells him. “My family can be a little loud–”

“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.”

“Hey! I’m being serious here. They can be loud and probably a little too much to take in at first, but they’re good people.”

“I know, Sawamura-senpai.”

Okumura says that almost… Fondly? Before Eijun can say more, the door slides open with a thud. He startles and turns to see his mother grinning at them. 

“Boys! Welcome! You’ve arrived just in time for dinner. Come in, come in.” She ushers them inside, taking a moment to ruffle Eijun’s hair affectionately which he responds to with an embarrassed grumble, much to Okumura’s amusement. 

“Good evening, Sawamura-san,” Okumura says politely once they’ve left their shoes at the genkan . “I’m–”

“Okumura Koushuu.” Eijun’s father appears behind his mother, face split into a wide, toothy grin. “Of course we know who you are. Your time as battery partners might’ve been short, but you really did make every game count. Good job, boys,” he says proudly and Eijun knows his dad is holding back happy tears.

“Right! We’re the best!” Eijun slides an arm around Okumura’s shoulders, holding him close and trying not to die in the process. 

“Why didn’t anyone tell me Eijun was already home?” Sawamura Eitoku yells, emerging from the kitchen. For someone in his late seventies, his strength is no joke, Eijun thinks, as his grandfather pats his back repeatedly with a huge smile. “How is my favorite grandson?”

“Grandpa, I’m your only grandson,” Eijun huffs, scurrying away from Eitoku’s powerful hand.

Eitoku ignores that as he focuses on Okumura. “And this young man has to be Okumura-kun.”

“Yes. Nice to meet you, Sawamura-san,” Okumura says and then bows. “Thank you for letting me stay here.”

“What a polite and well-spoken boy!” Eitoku remarks with a pleased, rough laugh. “You’re younger than Eijun, but you already seem more mature.” 

“Hey! I’m right here!” Eijun interjects, mildly offended. 

“Do I have to remind you who slapped the soul out of those boys–”

Eijun flushes. “That was four years ago!”

“When you’re my age, four years is nothing, young man.”

“But I’m not your age!”

Eitoku laughs, waving him off.

“I wouldn’t say I’m more mature,” Okumura replies calmly, and every head turns to him. “I’ve admired Sawamura-senpai ever since I was in my last year of junior high. He was one of the main reasons I decided to apply to Seidou and I wasn’t disappointed. He helped me on numerous occasions and taught me a lot of things that made me grow in many aspects, and I wouldn’t have done any of that without Sawamura-senpai’s valuable guidance. I feel incredibly lucky that I got to meet him and I’m very grateful for the time I’ve spent next to him.”

The room falls into stunned silence. Eijun doesn’t think he’s ever been as red as he is right now; as red as the ripe tomatoes that grow in their garden during the summer, or the baseball poster he has currently hanging on the wall of his room. 

It’s the first time Eijun explicitly hears from Okumura how he feels about him. His insides are a swirl of emotions, leaving him a bit dizzy; from infinite happiness that lodges in his chest, to terrible mortification, because it had to happen in front of his whole family. 

Eijun drags his eyes from the wooden floor to his family to gauge their reactions. They look shocked, something Eijun should find even more offending, but beneath that there’s a knowing glint in their eyes, as if they never expected anything less from him. 

Eitoku is the first to recover. “Isn’t our Eijun the best?” He exclaims joyfully, pulling his grandson into a side hug with an iron-like grip that Eijun barely notices.

“Yes. Absolutely,” Okumura responds earnestly. 

God. How can Okumura be so calm and eloquent and speak without hesitation when Eijun’s whole being is on fire and his cheeks feel like melting off of his face from how flustered he is? 

“It makes us really happy to hear that, Okumura-kun,” Eijun’s mom says, looking between him and her son with a radiant smile. “I can tell you two are very close. We’re glad our Eijun has such a good friend like you.” She claps once. “Well, let’s get going before the food gets cold!”

Dinner wasn’t half as bad as Eijun feared. His parents, being his parents, and especially his grandfather, kept throwing questions at Okumura that he didn’t have any qualms in answering. From their pleased reactions, honest interest and genuine smiles, Eijun could tell his family had already taken a liking to Okumura. Not that he expected otherwise, but it was nice to be certain. 

There were no more embarrassing moments and the food was heavenly— there’s no shame in admitting he nearly cried of happiness at seeing all his favorite dishes on one table with, of course, no disgusting natto in sight. And above all, he thanked his family and their nosy nature in silence for all the new things he’s just learned about Okumura. 

Things like he’s played baseball since he was eight years old and always knew he wanted to be a catcher, mirroring Eijun’s experience; that he’s an only child and his parents are divorced; that he stayed with his mom, who sometimes has to make work-related trips overseas. Or more simple facts, such as his strange aversion for oranges –seriously, why oranges?– or his preference for strawberry shortcake.

So he actually likes sweets.

Eijun carefully takes notes of everything in his head as if he were writing down key information for an important test.

All in all, Eijun enjoyed the evening thoroughly.

***

After taking turns to use the shower and getting ready for bed, Eijun faces the next challenge much like would face a match of crucial importance: dedicating time and serious thinking before feeling beyond relieved at finally finding the best way to approach it.

Yeah, he’s talking about sleep arrangements.

He announces it to Okumura cheerfully as he takes the rolled futon out of his closet because of course, this is the only arrangement there is if he doesn’t want to pass out and—

“I’m not kicking you out of your bed, senpai.”

Eijun’s smile freezes on his face and slowly turns to look at him.

If he thought being with Okumura in a coffee shop felt strange, seeing him standing in the middle of his childhood room was absolutely bizarre (but was also kind of doing things to him).

Eijun’s room is exactly how he left it the last time he came home, and he wants to give a pat on the back of his past self for tidying it up the day before he left for Seidou. 

There’s a fresh flowery scent lingering in the air as if the floor was cleaned recently, the bed sheets have been changed, and there’s not a single speckle of dust on his furniture. He will thank his mom for that the next time he sees her. 

Right now, he has a more serious matter at hand. 

“Well, I’m not letting you sleep on the floor,” Eijun refutes. 

“It won’t be on the floor. I’m fine with sleeping on a fu–”

“No, absolutely not, wolf boy,” Eijun says, shaking his head resolutely. 

“Then, what do you propose?”

“You take the bed and I take the futon. Pretty simple, right?”

“I’m not doing that.”

“But you’re the guest!”

“And this is your house.”

“That doesn’t make sense! Everyone knows you offer the best commodities to the guest.”

“I’m still not kicking you out of your bed.” Okumura’s tone doesn’t leave any room for discussion.

“But–”

“No.”

“Let me–”

“I said no, senpai.”

“Fine! How about we both sleep on the floor?!” Eijun cries out.

“Or the bed.”

“Yeah, or the be– What?!”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Okumura says casually as if he were talking about the weather and not about the two of them huddling up in Eijun’s bed for the next ten days.

It’s a bad idea. A terrible idea. The worst idea ever. No, there’s absolutely no way he’s sleeping on the same bed as Okumura, on the same bed as his crush, as his partner, his friend, the very person he’s harbored feelings for, for a long time. Nope. Never. Not in a million years. It won’t happen. It won’t. It won’t. It wo—

“You seriously wouldn’t mind?” Eijun’s mouth betrays him once again. 

“No.”

“Sometimes I kick in my sleep,” he warns.

“I was expecting that.”

“And sometimes I sleep talk–”

“So that means you’re never truly quiet, aren’t you? Like, ever.”

“It’s not my fault!” Eijun says defensively. 

Okumura’s blue eyes are bright with mirth and it’s hard to get mad when he looks genuinely amused. 

“I don’t mind any of it, Sawamura-senpai,” he assures. 

“Fine,” Eijun finally concedes.

Now that that’s been settled, Eijun can panic in peace. Thank you.

It’s barely eleven but after a whole day of travel, a hearty meal and a hot shower it’s natural he feels completely exhausted, and it looks like he isn’t the only one.

In an unspoken agreement, and once Eijun has turned off the lamp on his desk, making the room pitch black, they settle under the covers.

It’s worse than he thought.

He’s tremendously conscious of Okumura lying down beside him, of the soothing warmth his body radiates, of how good he smells. Right now, he smells like the mint-coconut soap his family often buys, but beneath it there’s a scent inherent to him that is so achingly familiar it feels like coming home for a second time. It has always driven Eijun crazy. 

Eijun’s whole being is screaming at him to pull him closer, to nuzzle his nose against the soft skin of his neck, and maybe drop a kiss or two, feeling the exact moment his pulse point quickens under his lips. He wants to wrap his arms around Okumura in a long overdue embrace, tilt his face up and claim the mouth he’s been longing to kiss for over a year. The desire to kiss him, to be kissed by him , is consuming, like a wildfire that cannot be put down anymore.

Not yet. Not yet.

Eijun takes one look at him amid the darkness. The most he makes out is the outline of Okumura's back which is facing him. He can’t tell if he’s fallen asleep already or if he's going through the same predicament as Eijun. 

Another unspoken agreement. 

***

Surprisingly, Eijun sleeps quite well. Okumura was already up when he blinked his eyes open and Eijun leaped out of bed, buzzing with excitement at the prospect of exploring the city together. 

It’s Okumura’s first time in Nagano so he’s open to every suggestion Eijun gives and lets himself be dragged to Eijun’s favorite spots. 

They spend the morning wandering around the city. It’s a bit after midday when they’re both starving and Eijun takes Okumura to his most favorite oyaki place, warming up their hands with the hot dumplings they’ve just taken out of the bag they bought, and burning their tongues soon afterwards.

Eijun cannot help but to laugh despite himself amidst the mild pain whilst Okumura curses shockingly loudly. 

Eijun's eyes go wide. “Did you just curse? You, Okumura Koushuu, the ‘polite’ and ‘well-spoken’ boy? Oh no. What will my parents say?” He sighs dramatically, trying so hard not to laugh but ultimately failing at the expression Okumura’s making.

Of course, it’s better to tease Okumura than to dwell on the fact that hearing him cursing in that deep voice of his sent a wave of heat up his spine.

“Your grandfather wasn’t lying when he said you were immature, senpai,” Okumura counterattacks. 

“Ouch.” Eijun puts a hand over his heart as a memory resurfaces. “That reminds me… Was I really one of the reasons you enrolled at Seidou?” 

Soft red blooms on Okumura’s pale cheeks. “I didn’t say that.”

“What? You did! I was there. Seto also–”

“Taku told you? What else did he tell you?” Okumura narrows his eyes.

“Uh… uh… “ That you missed me as much as I missed you. “We didn’t talk much, I swear! He did say you were stubborn but we all know that.”

Okumura’s brows knit together but he doesn’t say anything else for several seconds. Then he heaves out a sigh.

“It was our last year of junior high when Taku and I went to watch Seidou’s game against Teito. While watching the game, I decided I’d go to the winning school. Taku and I have been together since we were kids as our moms are close friends so he didn’t hesitate in following me.” Okumura says it in a voice that leaves no doubt he really appreciates Seto. “It was a coincidence that Seidou won, because in the end, I’d have gone there anyway. You and Furuya-san piqued my interest, but mostly you, Sawamura-senpai. The moment I saw you play, I knew I wanted to catch your pitches. It was true when I said you were one of my reasons and I lied when I said I didn’t admire any players.”

Eijun racks his brain, searching for the moment Okumura is referring to, and then it hits him. Introduction day. He was the last one among the first years to introduce himself. 

Okumura Koushuu. Daikyou Senior. Catcher. I don’t admire any players.

It was the first and only time he’d paid attention to Okumura before the cafeteria disaster happened. 

They’re currently sitting on the bench outside the oyaki shop, dumplings now lukewarm in their hands, but neither of them take a bite, too lost in their own thoughts. Out of all of this, there’s still something Eijun doesn’t understand. 

“If you thought that highly of me… Why were you so pissed off when we met to the point of calling me an eyesore?” There’s no trace of anger or offense behind Eijun’s words. He just wants to understand. 

Okumura looks appalled, embarrassment mixed up with guilt. 

“I reacted so badly precisely because of that,” he says quietly. “Before that, I held you in high regard. If you’re immature then so was I for reacting like that when I didn’t even know you back then.”

Eijun is beginning to get the gist of it but it’s not enough to fully understand. 

“But–”

Okumura tells him. He tells him about the awful experience he went through with his old coach during junior high. All the lies that man had masked behind the façade of encouragement and promises. The more Eijun listens to him, the more he starts to see the full picture, actions starting to make sense. 

He can’t help the small smile that comes to his lips when he hears the last part, trying to picture a little Okumura stirring things up among his team to teach that man a lesson. 

“So little Okumura was a troublemaker.” Eijun’s smile widens before he takes a bite from his now cold food. Whatever, it’s still tasty. “That was pretty badass.” He gently shoves Okumura’s shoulder with his own playfully.

“He only got what he deserved,” Okumura says without a hint of regret, taking a bite himself. 

“He did. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“No, I have to apologize, Sawamura-senpai. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. To be honest, more than pissed off, I was disappointed because I thought I had the wrong idea about you. But that’s not true at all,” Okumura says, looking up at him with those gorgeous blue eyes. “You’re everything I expected you to be and more.”

Eijun wants to kiss him. He wants to kiss him so bad, but he can’t. He can’t. It’s daylight and they’re in public and it just isn’t the right moment.

He shifts on the bench, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat and says instead, “But you still think the ace shouldn't be too loud on the mound…”

Okumura shakes his head. “I changed my mind. The ace should be trustworthy, someone with the innate ability of doing a turnaround in the mood of those on the field and lift the spirits of the team with their presence. And that’s exactly what you do effortlessly because that’s how you are: all loud, encouraging speeches paired up with a passionate attitude. Naturally, it’d still make you an easy read for your opponent, wearing your emotions on your sleeve like that, but there isn’t a single thing that can stop Sawamura Eijun, is there?”

Around them, life runs its natural course. Kids giggle nearby, a dog barks in the distance, someone rings their bicycle bell; a myriad of noises that are drowned at once by the deafening pounding of his heart. Everything and everyone else blur together into an unrecognizable splash of colors, vibrant and alive, but ultimately paling in comparison to the brightest one among them all.

The magnitude of his feelings for the boy next to him is certainly terrifying.

“Thank you,” Eijun whispers breathlessly, “for telling me.”

The confession is there, desperate and ready to be known by the very person who unknowingly put it there in the first place. He wants to do it, but he wants to do it right. In private. 

However, Eijun dares to do something that may not be as straightforward as a kiss or a confession, but he has to let him know, in some way. 

He scoots closer to Okumura and tentatively covers his hand with his own. The first contact sends a shiver through his body that has nothing to do with the coldness of his skin. Eijun’s shaking, and he can feel Okumura’s surprise before he relaxes and turns his hand over so they’re now palm to palm, intertwining their fingers. He holds them both steady.

Eijun’s breath gets stuck in his throat. 

He may look pretty composed on the outside but inside is another story. There’s a single thought repeating over and over amidst all the chaos in his brain:

I’m holding Okumura’s hand. I’m holding Okumura’s hand. I’m holding Okumura’s hand.

They hide their locked hands in between them and Eijun gives a sideways glance at Okumura. He’s looking away from him, head turned, and it isn’t a mystery why. The blush, high on his cheeks, is unmistakable and the sight of it makes Eijun flush in return. 

Eijun feels like laughing out loud at how surreal this situation is. They can be aggressive during a game, face the strongest teams, fierce and fearless, but they can’t look each other in the eye while holding hands. Amazing. 

They finish their food in silence and Okumura gives a squeeze to his hand before he lets go and Eijun has to keep himself from linking their hands again, already missing his warmth.

Okumura stands up. “Shall we go, Sawamura-senpai?” 

He nods.

They visit places Eijun thinks Okumura would probably like. They take their time strolling and looking around, eating more local street food along the way, and for Eijun it’s like seeing the places he grew up in for the first time. He perceives them differently, taking on a whole new meaning when he’s sharing them with Okumura. 

By evening, Eijun takes him to the café he found out offers the best strawberry shortcake in the city, after a quick research online, that is. Okumura doesn’t really react at first but the way his eyes light up in this subtle manner at the mention of his favorite dessert is more than enough.

It definitely proves to be more than enough moments later when Eijun watches with delight how much Okumura seems to be enjoying the sponge cake, cutting up small pieces one at a time, savoring it slowly, like he doesn’t want it to end. 

It only makes Eijun wish he had the power to materialize strawberry shortcake for Okumura so he could eat it whenever he wanted. He may not have the ability to do that but he does have the power to buy him a second slice. And learn how to bake, too.

***

Their third day in Nagano is particularly a cold one; so cold Eijun wouldn’t be surprised if it started snowing any moment now. This, along with their sore legs from walking for hours the two days before, is what makes them decide to spend the day at home. The prospect of hot tea and watch baseball games while lazing around in bed is far more tempting than chilly wind hitting their faces, nonstop walking and more aching limbs by the end of the day.

It turns out to be the absolutely best day to stay at home when his mom lets him know during breakfast she’s visiting a friend and won’t be back until dinner. She has no idea of the perfect opportunity she’s just handed on a silver platter. With his dad at work, his grandfather stuck in endless shōgi games with the closest neighbor and his mom away, they pretty much have the house all to themselves.

Only one thing comes to his mind when he realizes he and Okumura will be completely, pointedly, alone: It has to be today.

Despite the initial plans Eijun already formulated in his head, they do end up going out to head off to the nearest convenience store. He wraps a scarf around his neck and lends another to Okumura after seeing him doing poor attempts at hiding his shivers.

“I didn’t think Nagano would be this cold,” Okumura mumbles, nodding gratefully, and lets Eijun place the scarf around his neck. 

“I’d have thought you handled the cold better, wolf boy.” Eijun grins at him, remembering when Okumura fainted under the blazing sun during the opening ceremony for two consecutive summers, both times face-landing on Eijun’s back. 

“I usually do,” Okumura replies, bringing the soft fabric to his nose. “It smells like you. I like it.”

Eijun blushes. Hard. He points an accusatory finger at Okumura. “S-See! You’re really a wolf! A wolf boy! Sniffing things around like that. I was right all along!”

“I don’t ‘sniff things around’ , senpai,” Okumura says, apparently irritated. “And you’re too loud.” 

“Where is the Okumura from two days ago who said he didn’t find me being loud annoying anymore? Where?!”

“I changed my mind again,” he responds nonchalantly, putting on his shoes and sliding the door open.  

“Huh? You can’t do that!”

Okumura ignores him. “We should go before it starts snowing,” he says instead, beginning to walk away.

“Hey! Okumura! Okumura!” He yells but Okumura keeps walking with no intention of turning around. Eijun swears under his breath, and the next word is out before he can’t stop it. “Koushuu!”

Okumura stops in his tracks, going utterly still, and Eijun catches up to him in an instant, perfectly pleased with the fact that it worked. 

“Why did you leave me–” Eijun snaps his mouth shut as soon as he takes a good look at Okumura’s face.

His expression is unusually open and vulnerable when he meets Eijun’s gaze. “Did you just call me by my given name?” 

Eijun laughs nervously. “I think I did. You don’t like it? Because if you don’t, then I’ll stick to your family–”

“No,” Okumura rushes to say, averting his eyes. “I mean, yes, you can if you want, but I… I don’t mind you calling me by my given name, so it’s fine either way. It’s not that I don’t like it, though, so…”

Eijun can’t believe Okumura is rambling but he has to admit the sight is strangely endearing.

“You don’t mind? In that case, I’ll start calling you Koushuu from now on,” Eijun decides. “You can use my given name, too,” he adds, feeling suddenly shy.

“Eijun,” Okumura speaks his name slowly, in a reverent manner, as if it were something precious and special. Eijun loves how it sounds in his mouth. “Eijun-senpai.”

“I guess that works too,” Eijun manages to say. 

At the convenience store, they buy snacks and hot tea, meaning Eijun grabs more snacks than it’s probably considered healthy as Okumura just watches with a raised brow but doesn’t say anything. He does end up sneaking a melonpan into Eijun’s full basket. 

On the way back, Eijun digs around inside the bag until his hand comes up with what he was looking for. He tears open the plastic wrap and takes a bite, tastebuds dancing in joy as he hums happily.

“Koushuu! You have to try this!” He grips Okumura’s arm to make him stop and shoves the dorayaki towards him, nearly knocking over the paper cup in his hand.

Okumura complies, but not in the way Eijun expects him to. Instead of taking the dorayaki, he leans in to try the pancake directly from his hand in a slow, conscious manner. It feels intimate. Awfully intimate. Eijun’s mouth goes dry. The seconds it takes Okumura to chew and swallow while holding Eijun’s enthralled gaze have to be the longest five seconds he’s ever lived through. 

“It’s good, Eijun-senpai,” he murmurs. 

“R-Right?!” 

It’s cold, colder than most days, but Eijun feels hot all over, skin prickling uncomfortably under his clothes. He tries to calm himself, and by the time they get home, he’s got it all under control. 

***

In the end, it didn’t snow but they still spent a good part of the day watching baseball reruns on the old TV in Eijun’s room. As they watch, he and Okumura keep making observations, discussing gamecalls and strategies. Watching two full baseball games makes him want to run to the nearest field to play and feel the excitement of a match. But at the same time… He’s perfectly comfortable where he is. 

They’re both lying down on their stomach, sprawled on the bed, watching the seventh inning. It’s a slow, lazy afternoon. Maybe too lazy. Eijun can’t stop the huge yawn that escapes past his mouth, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes, indicating how sleepy he suddenly feels. He wasn’t exactly loud but he’s already expecting Okumura to comment on it. 

Except, there’s… Silence.

Eijun peers down at him, and to his surprise, he notices his eyes are closed. His chin is nestled against his crossed arms on Eijun’s pillow, mouth concealed, breathing steadily. He’s sleeping. 

Okumura looks different like this, when his expression is less guarded, less controlled. Eijun allows himself to be greedy and drinks in the sight of him. 

He reaches for the remote control, careful to not wake Okumura up, and turns the TV off before he makes himself comfortable next to him and drifts off to sleep, too.

***

Eijun wakes up disoriented, as he always does whenever he takes a nap in the middle of the afternoon, when you don’t know if only a few hours have gone by or a whole day. It could be either. 

Sunlight streams through the window, making his room shine gold with its orange, yellow and red hues. Sunset . That’s when he notices the light touch on his hand. Silently, he glances down. 

Okumura’s eyes are cast down, oblivious to Eijun waking up. He’s trailing his fingertip across the back of Eijun’s hand, tracing invisible circles and random shapes over his skin. 

It’s a pleasant sensation, featherlike. Eijun doesn’t want to shatter this calmness so he stays still for as long as he can, enjoying the quiet atmosphere, before he finally decides to let Okumura know. He emits a low sound. 

The motions stop and blue meets golden.

Eijun can’t bring himself to look away. He doesn’t ever want to look away. An earthquake could strike Nagano, an asteroid could impact the Earth, and he still wouldn’t. He’s at Okumura-levels of dramatic right now, but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care.

He’s completely fallen. 

The blue of his eyes, the fall of his hair, the length of his eyelashes— which is ridiculously long… Eijun memorizes every detail. The angles and planes of his face, the faint freckles over his nose, scattered like tiny constellations.

He’s beautiful.

Okumura is doing the same with him. Memorizing and engraving Eijun in his mind. His gaze moves up then down Eijun’s face leisurely as if he had all the time in the world. Fingers run along the length of his clothed arm until he takes his hand. Okumura lifts their joined hands between them, both of them following the movement, as the sunlight caresses their skin with its last rays.

The room shifts, Eijun parts his lips, tastes the words on his tongue, feels them in every pore of his being, and he finally, finally , opens his mouth.

“I like you.”

It’s not him who whispers them first. 

Eijun’s eyes move from their hands to Okumura’s face.

“I like you,” he repeats, a bit louder this time, not looking away from Eijun. His tone is firm, decided, but there’s a certain vulnerability, even apprehension, behind his eyes, as if he thought there was a remote but real possibility that Eijun didn’t feel the same despite all the hints they’ve given each other, despite all the special moments they’ve shared together.

“I like you too,” Eijun whispers, voice trembling, full of affection and happiness. “You– You really don’t have any idea of how much and for how long I have, Koushuu.”

Okumura draws in a sharp breath. He glances down at their linked hands on the bed before he’s looking up at Eijun again. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” It’s less than a whisper.

But Okumura doesn’t move, conflict and hesitation written in his eyes. He’s nervous, Eijun realizes. This is most likely his first kiss and he isn’t sure how to proceed.

“It’s my first, too.” Eijun threads his fingers through Okumura’s hair soothingly, in an attempt to ease off both of their nerves. “Let’s take it easy, alright?”

Eijun can feel it coming as Okumura regains his confidence, but he doesn’t want to wait a single second anymore. He’s waited enough. Hand still in his hair, Eijun lets his eyes fall shut and meets Okumura in the middle. 

It’s delicate, as if both of them were unsure of going any further than the gentle press of their mouths. Nothing like the kisses Eijun is used to see in western movies or even in some of his shoujo mangas.

It may be gentle but he can’t say the same for the current state of his heartbeat.

Eijun’s hand slides down from Okumura’s hair to the back of his head. He pulls him closer, changes the angle, parts his lips a little, feeling Okumura’s do the same under his, applies more pressure, tongues touching, and oh . 

He is starting to get why people like to kiss each other so much. Okumura’s mouth is warm and pliant, lips a bit chapped because of the cold, but still impossibly soft . They kiss like this for a while, nothing too gentle, nothing too harsh, pulling away for a few seconds before meeting again. 

Then Okumura tries something that makes Eijun’s brain short-circuit. His hand is cupping Eijun’s jaw, fingers idly playing with his earlobe, and no warning is given to him before Okumura licks Eijun’s bottom lip, running his tongue over it before sucking it in between his. 

Eijun gasps against his mouth, heat stirring in his stomach, but Okumura misunderstands, backing away. “Was that too much?” 

“It was perfect. I liked it,” he replies honestly, smiling at him. “And we’re not even close to being done, wolf boy.”

Eijun had no idea kissing would be this addictive. It’s like he can’t get enough. Like he can’t kiss him enough or be close enough to Okumura. Inexperience be damned, they’re going to learn together, and that’s exactly what they do. It’s clumsy, and a few times their teeth would clank together or their noses would bump, making Eijun laugh and Okumura gives a slight shake of his head, amused, but slowly, surely, they work their way through it. 

They kiss until the sun has gone down and the orange becomes blue to welcome the night. Eijun can barely see Okumura in the dark so he wraps his arms around him, tangles his legs with his, pulling him against Eijun. He needs to make sure that he’s real, that everything that just happened between them is. 

For a moment, Eijun falters, thinking all this touching is perhaps a bit too much for him, but his worries are instantly subsided when Okumura hugs him back, clutching the fabric of his hoodie. 

Okumura’s warm breath is tickling the skin of his neck and Eijun brushes his hair away from his forehead to press a kiss there, relishing the way the grip on his hoodie tightens. 

***

“Koushuuuu.”

“Mhm?”

It’s a little after midnight and they can’t seem to fall asleep just yet, wanting to talk and kiss some more. When they’re not using their mouths to talk in hushed whispers, they use them for other purposes, where words are not involved. Not even in the wildest of his fantasies did Eijun imagine he’d ever be with Okumura on his bed, in his childhood room in Nagano, cuddling .

Eijun would’ve never taken Okumura as the cuddler type but he’s never been more glad to be proved wrong. 

“What did oranges do to make you hate them?”

“Exist.”

Eijun suppresses a snort. “Seriously?”

“Yes. What did natto do to you?”

“What? There’s no point of comparison!” Eijun tries to keep his voice low.

“Why does it matter?” Okumura sounds more curious than anything.

“I was wondering, that’s all.” A sudden idea occurs to Eijun. “But you like mandarin oranges, right?”

“Yeah. Why?”

Instead of answering the question, he says, “Let’s go for a walk tomorrow.” 

Okumura doesn’t question it. Eijun simply feels him nod against his shoulder then feels him shift, the light pressure on his shoulder gone. 

Eijun meets him halfway, or at least that was his intention. He ends up kissing his nose instead of his mouth and Eijun laughs quietly before Okumura finds the right place.  

***

The sun is high in a clear sky, its permanent warmth balancing out perfectly with the cool wind, as they meander around the green surroundings of his house. They walk hand in hand, knowing it’s safe to do so given there’s absolutely no one in sight. Eijun knows that but he keeps glancing over his shoulder every once in a while.

“You’re being too paranoid, Eijun-senpai,” Okumura says.

“I’m still not used to hearing you call me Eijun,” he confesses with a content smile. “Someday I’ll make you drop the honorific.”

A faint blush appears on Okumura’s cheeks. “It will take a while to get used to but I’ll try.”

Satisfied and absolutely in love, Eijun kisses his now warm cheek. 

Okumura comes to a sudden halt, pulling Eijun to a stop, too. “What was that for?”

“What? Your boyfriend can’t kiss you on the cheek?” Eijun says playfully.  

“Is that what we are? Boyfriends?” Okumura asks quietly.

Eijun’s stomach churns uncomfortably with uneasiness. “Y-Yeah? I thought we were. Was– Was I wrong?”

“No,” Okumura replies and Eijun relaxes. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”

“Once was not enough?” 

“It will never be enough.”

“You scared me there, Koushuu,” he admits. “I thought for a second we weren’t on the same page.”

“Sorry. It wasn’t my intention.”

They continue walking along the path at their own pace, enjoying the day and the scenery. Eijun shows him his family’s harvest for the season; from their mandarin and apple trees to the greenhouse where the strawberries are growing. 

Eijun remembers being under the scorching heat, helping out with each season’s harvest when he was in junior high. Even during the last two winter breaks when he came home, he couldn’t escape his fate. His family was definitely being too lenient regarding that this time around. If Okumura weren’t here, his grandfather would have probably put him to work already.

He collects a few ripe fruits, washes them thoroughly and finds somewhere to sit while they eat.

They talk a bit about everything, about school, about their team. Among other things, Okumura says Yoshikawa has made a notable improvement lately, compared to his first couple of months in Seidou. At the mention of the boy, Eijun makes a face against his best efforts to not let his dislike show.

Of course, it doesn’t go unnoticed.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” Eijun is quick to say, busying himself with a mandarin segment, shoving it into his mouth.

Okumura doesn’t need to do anything to get Eijun to explain himself. A fixed, unamused stare does the work too. Eijun isn’t even looking directly at him, but it doesn’t matter. He feels the weight of Okumura’s gaze, heavy and unyielding, on him. 

Eijun groans loudly. “Fine! Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed the big crush he’s got on you?” At the bemused look he gets in response, he adds, “Seriously? You didn’t know? Everyone can see it from kilometers away!”

Okumura shrugs, popping a small strawberry into his mouth. “My eyes were only on one person.”

Eijun almost chokes on the piece of fruit he’s just taken a bite of. He chews and swallows the fruit quickly, going crimson.

“How can you say things like that without dying of embarrassment in the process?”

“Because it’s the truth.”

“Yeah, but still…” Eijun mumbles.

Okumura seems to be watching him closely. “Are you jealous, Eijun-senpai?”

Eijun inhales sharply. “Of course I am! Wouldn’t you feel the same if you were in my place?”

Okumura stays quiet for a moment before he admits, “I was jealous once too. Of Amahisa-san. Whenever he texted you… You seemed close to him. I felt jealous of Miyuki-senpai as well, and maybe even of Takigawa-san...”

Eijun pauses. He thinks about all the times Okumura seemed especially interested in who was texting him, his frown deepening, nearly a scowl, as soon as he saw it was Amahisa-san; or each time Eijun talked fondly about Chris-senpai; or the time Eijun was depressed because Miyuki-senpai and the third years were graduating soon, and no, he hasn’t acknowledged me yet — He confessed as much to Okumura on a starless night. 

Of course, it all makes sense now.

But… There’s an important detail Eijun believes he’s missing and when it finally clicks, his eyes go impossibly wide, jerking his head to look at Okumura.

“But the whole text thing happened before Koshien… no, even before that… Golden Week! You’ve liked me for that long?! ” 

“Do you want a more specific answer?” Okumura says in resignation.

Eijun nods eagerly.

“I got really interested in you the very first time I caught your pitches, but if you want to know what was the turning point for me, it was our game against Seihou.”

Seihou. It was the first time they formed a battery officially and the first time Eijun called Okumura his partner. 

I’m counting on you, partner!

The memories of said game remain intact. 

Only because he’s hearing it from Okumura himself, does Eijun believe it. 

“For me it was after Summer Koshien last year,” he says in return, wanting Okumura to know.

“So we really let an entire year go by,” Okumura reflects. “It was my fault what happened between us, the sudden distance… I panicked,” he admits for a second time, hand curling into a white-knuckled fist, and Eijun wants to say, no, it was my fault, too. “I panicked that day. In your room. When you touched me like that. It took me by surprise and I didn’t know what to make of it. I didn’t want to misunderstand and begin to feel hopeful, and then feel stupid for doing so. I was afraid I’d fall harder if I stayed close to you, and then you would graduate and forget.” 

About me. 

The unspoken words hang in the air. 

“I was irrational. I know,” Okumura goes on. “Many times, I felt frustrated with myself for being younger, and therefore, less experienced and skilled. It felt like the gap in front of me grew more and more each day and I couldn’t seem to catch up. I wanted to feel worthy to you and the team. To stand at the same level.” A pause. “I didn’t think you’d ever look at me the same way I look at you.”

Eijun places a hand over his fist, slowly untangling his fingers. He lets him. When their palms meet, Eijun intertwines their fingers, holding his hand firmly. 

“We were both at fault for what happened and I think you don’t give yourself enough credit, Koushuu,” he says. “You’ve done so much for the team. You’re an incredibly skilled catcher, and I’m not the only one who thinks so. You should hear the way the first years talk about you, Okumura-senpai . They look up to you and it’s not for nothing.”

“And I really believe this was bound to happen, sooner or later, because you’re amazing.” Eijun lifts their hands, and softly presses a kiss to the back of Okumura’s hand. “And smart.” A kiss to his temple. “And clever.” He kisses his cheek. “Thoughtful.” His jaw, this time, and he hears Okumura’s choppy breaths above him. “Brave.” He trails his lips upwards, feeling him shiver. “Beyond breathtaking.” He whispers against his lips. “And so fucking gorgeous.” 

“How can you say all those things without dying of embarrassment in the process?” Okumura breathes out.

Eijun smiles. “Because it’s the truth.”

It’s Okumura who claims his mouth at last. The fruit they’ve just eaten makes the kiss taste impossibly sweet, but underneath that sweetness, lies an unmistakable hunger that becomes more and more evident the more they kiss each other. 

Okumura wraps his arms around Eijun’s neck, pulling him closer. They’re sitting side by side, so the angle is awkward and he’s pretty sure his neck will ache later if they keep kissing like this. Besides, he has the feeling they will really need actual privacy real soon.

“Koushuu,” Eijun pants against his mouth. “Koushuu. We need to go back.” 

It has the same effect as if he’d said, let’s take this somewhere else .

Eijun’s choice of words may be ambiguous but Okumura gets the true intentions behind. He breaks the kiss. There’s no way he’d mistake Eijun’s needy tone and the urgency in his kisses. Both of them know what the other is thinking.

We’re not even close to being done, wolf boy.

***

Eijun slides the door closed as silently as he can to avoid drawing any attention. They were already lucky enough they didn’t run into his mom or his grandfather on the way to his room upstairs. 

This is the first time Eijun truly laments living in a traditional house and having sliding doors instead of one he could actually lock to prevent any possible disasters. The disappointment is short-lived, however, when he remembers he does have a lock. 

He digs into his drawer and grins victoriously when he finds it rather quickly. He thanks all gods above he actually thought of getting a lock for this type of door years ago. He just never thought there would come a time where he would really, really need it. 

Okumura watches in silence as Eijun tries his best to figure out how to fit it into place since it’s the first time he actually uses it. When he believes he’s finally got it, he tests it, and the door doesn’t move. At all.

Fixing the annoying transparency is way easier. There are wall hooks just above the door his father installed to keep his best clothes wrinkle-free, at the insistence of Eijun’s mom. He just needs a hanger, a blanket, and voilà.

“We should both thank horny, pubescent Eijun for this,” he says, utterly pleased with himself as he admires his work of art. 

He looks back at Okumura when he doesn’t reply.

Okumura’s lips are pressed together, but not in disapproval or any of the sort, even though his arms are crossed over his chest. No, it actually looks like he wants to laugh. Eijun does a double take. 

Okumura Koushuu and laughing simply don’t go in the same line.

“What’s so funny, Koushuu?” Eijun asks, a huge smile spreading across his face. 

Okumura, naturally, doesn’t answer. He settles for giving a small shake of his head, still pressing his lips tightly. 

It doesn’t matter because now that Eijun has seen a real opening, he seizes it without a second thought. This is a one-time opportunity and he sure as hell won’t let it go to waste. 

Okumura’s whole focus is on trying to hold back his laughter, so it’s incredibly easy for Eijun to catch him off-guard. He lunges at him and both of them fall onto the bed with a gasp. Eijun immediately worries he probably went a bit too far, but as he opens his mouth to apologize, he hears it . 

There’s absolutely nothing that could’ve prepared Eijun for this moment. 

Nothing at all.

It’s not a dream, and he knows that simply because his brain is incapable of producing a sound like this. 

It’s unrestrained, unique, and Eijun feels it down to his bones.

He has to see it for himself. 

Eijun lifts himself, hands to either side of Okumura, hovering over him, and Okumura… Okumura doesn’t even try to look away or cover his face or even look remotely embarrassed. He lets Eijun see him, take him in, memorize him. 

His blond hair is splayed on the pillow like a halo, his eyes are crinkled at the corners, shining more than ever, and god, his smile . This isn’t the slight tug of his lips Eijun has seen a couple of times. No. This is Okumura Koushuu’s real smile. 

Eijun was wrong before. So, so wrong, 

Okumura laughing is the most natural thing in the world. His laugh, his smile, the squint of his eyes as his whole body shakes under Eijun… It all belongs there. 

All this time there was something missing, a key piece that would make everything else fall into its rightful place. And this is it. Eijun just didn’t know how much he was yearning for it. 

Eijun tries to resist as long as he can, wanting to bask in this breathtaking sight, but he feels his resolve start to crack.

“You’re so beautiful, Koushuu,” he whispers, completely breathless, brushing a stray lock of hair away from his boyfriend’s face. 

“Are you going to kiss me again, Eijun-senpai?” Okumura is also out of breath. He isn’t laughing anymore but the smile remains so open and gorgeous on his face.

He looks at peace. Happy . 

“Can I?”

A nod. 

It’s slow. That’s the first thing Eijun notices. Albeit deep, this kiss doesn’t carry the same hunger as it did before. It’s less about desperation, about wanting to reach an uncertain end as fast as they can, skipping the whole learning process. 

No. This kiss is different. 

It’s more about studying each other with their lips, their hands, their fingertips; about finding out what the other likes, discovering what spots on their bodies are the most sensible, what makes them gasp or elicit a pleasured noise from their throats. 

It isn’t long before the passion of their kisses escalate and Eijun is sitting on the bed with Koushuu in his lap, arms wrapped around him whilst Koushuu’s are around his neck. Their tongues touch and scorching heat pools deep inside Eijun. Koushuu bites and licks at his lips. Eijun kisses and sucks at the tender skin of his neck, being instantly rewarded when Koushuu lets out a low moan, pressing closer to Eijun, tilting his head up to offer him a larger canvas.

The world around them has ceased to exist.

Eijun’s skin is on fire. His senses are heightened and every touch is electrifying, making him more greedy, gasping for more, more, more .

It’s hard to believe it was only yesterday when they shared their first kiss. But now that he knows both of them waited so long for this to happen, it’s safe to say they’re following their instincts, their deepest desires, letting them run wild.

Having Koushuu straddling his lap is seriously messing up Eijun’s control. He’s burning under his clothes, uncomfortably so, but before he can do something about it, he feels Koushuu’s fingers under his hoodie, touching his bare skin, leaving a trail of heat behind.

Greedy hands travel upwards, leisurely and confident, and Koushuu is whispering against his mouth, “Please, tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Even with a clouded mind, Eijun wants to ask what he means, but what comes out of his mouth instead is a rather loud moan when Koushuu’s thumb runs over his nipple. Eijun’s hand flies to his mouth, beyond embarrassed, as Koushuu pulls away with surprised eyes before it’s replaced by something else, something Eijun is too mortified to identify.

“I don’t think the walls are thick enough, Eijun-senpai,” Koushuu says in a low voice.

Eijun drops his hand. “Do you think someone heard?”

Both of them are flushed, breathing hard, and Eijun is sure his head resembles more a bird’s nest than anything with the way Koushuu kept running his fingers through it.

“I have no idea, but I sincerely hope not.”

“It’s your fault, wolf boy, for doing that so suddenly.”

Koushuu rolls his eyes. “I did warn you.”

“That wasn’t a warning!” He tries to keep his voice down. “How’d I have guessed what you were about to do?” 

Koushuu doesn’t have a smart reply this time, but Eijun can’t even take satisfaction from it, not with Koushuu gazing down at him like that . 

“I liked hearing you,” he whispers, simple and direct. 

“I liked it too,” Eijun whispers back. “I mean, you doing that. It felt good.”

“I noticed.” Koushuu gives him a small smile. “Can we keep going?” 

“Yeah.” 

Decision flashes in Koushuu’s eyes. His chest is rising and falling in rapid succession as he lifts himself a little from Eijun’s lap, whose hands immediately latch onto his hips, not wanting him to leave yet. 

But that’s far from what Koushuu has in mind.

Holding Eijun’s gaze, and in one swift motion, he takes off both his sweater and the shirt he had underneath at the same time. The action leaves his hair messy and his cheeks are flushed, and Eijun stares shamelessly, too aroused, too gone to care. 

He’s the most beautiful boy Eijun has ever laid his eyes on.

He drinks in the sight of him. All pale skin and lean muscle and Eijun counts three beauty marks; one below his nipple and two on his abdomen. He’s sure he has a lot more and he can’t wait to count them all with his mouth. 

He sees the goosebumps rising on Koushuu’s skin due to the sudden exposure to the cold or in response to their current activities, Eijun doesn’t know. Koushuu’s hands are on his shoulders but they move downwards until they reach the hem of Eijun’s hoodie, his intentions clear.

He starts lifting up the offensive fabric, revealing sun-kissed skin, but Eijun doesn’t let him. He does it himself. He yanks the hoodie over his head, and it would be really awkward if his head got suddenly stuck but thankfully, it doesn’t happen. 

“You’re beautiful, too, Eijun…” Koushuu whispers, half-lidded eyes traveling across the expanse of Eijun’s chest and abdomen. 

At first, Koushuu only watches, then he touches, fitting perfectly once more in Eijun’s lap, legs to each side of him, and Eijun’s arms automatically curl around him, bringing him closer.

The feel of their naked skin against one another is addictive, intoxicating, it burns pleasantly. Koushuu leans down to press a kiss to his freckled shoulder, then to the crook of his neck, his hands never staying still. Fingers graze his nipples every once in a while and it’s nearly impossible to be quiet, but the alternative is certainly worse, so Eijun makes an effort. 

When Koushuu’s motions increase in intensity and speed, Eijun can’t hold back a moan anymore. But nothing escapes Koushuu. Before the noise is out, he slots their mouths together, swallowing down his pleasured noises. 

They break apart, staring at each other, breaths mingling, and in the following second, Eijun has his mouth over Koushuu’s left nipple, closing his lips around it to give it a light suck. Koushuu flushes brighter than Eijun has ever seen, shiny lips parted in a silent moan as he looks down at Eijun, pupils huge with only a ring of pale blue around them, fingernails digging into his shoulders.

Eijun repeats the action, giving the same attention to the other hardened nipple, never stopping rubbing his thumb back and forth over his left one, and every tiny gasp and sigh Koushuu lets out arouses him further.

It’s when Eijun bites down on his nipple, that Koushuu seems to say screw it about being quiet. Eijun doesn’t have the time to reproach him for it because Koushuu suddenly rolls his hips against his. 

This is it. This is where and when Sawamura Eijun’s soul leaves his body. It was a good life. 

Eijun snaps back to reality when Koushuu does it again. And again. Both of them are only wearing sweatpants since they were going to spend the day at home, so the friction is maddening. Eijun groans against Koushuu’s mouth, clutching the back of his thighs to guide him away from his lap and into the bed, pressing him against the covers.

This is a familiar sight, and one Eijun is starting to love.

Searing heat runs through his veins, lighting up his insides, the moment Koushuu spreads his legs wide, knees to either side of Eijun. The invitation is so incredibly tempting.

There’s a traitorous voice in Eijun’s head telling him, this is too soon. He wants to ignore it, but deep down, he knows he can’t. 

It would be so easy. It would be so easy to give in to his and Koushuu’s urges, to fit perfectly between those long legs and let their teenage desires do the rest. But he can’t. 

There’s also the fact that while Eijun is eighteen already, Koushuu is still sixteen. Eijun is still considered a minor under Japanese law but something about it doesn’t settle well with him. He wants to take his time and do things right. He always wants to when it comes to Koushuu. He cares too much about him to do something as important as this carelessly. 

Having reached a wise decision, he focuses on Koushuu under him. His eyebrows aren’t pulled together in pleasure anymore, and his pupils have returned to their normal size. There’s a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

“This is going too fast, isn’t it?”

Eijun breathes a sigh of relief and smiles back at him. “You felt it too?”

“I was feeling many things at once, but yes, one of them was that. We should probably take it easy, Eijun-senpai.”

Eijun agrees, making a positive sound. He dips his head down to give a last kiss to Koushuu’s shoulder, before he collapses next to him on the bed, both of them staring at the ceiling and the glow-in-the-dark stars Eijun put there when he was in elementary school.

“I’m…” He starts, trailing off.

“Half-hard?” Koushuu guesses.

Eijun turns to look at him. “Wha…How did you know I was going to say that?” 

Koushuu shrugs. “I am too,” he admits. 

Yeah, I felt it . It was impossible not to when Koushuu was pressing down against him so urgently.  

Eijun decides to keep it to himself.

They don’t touch each other again even though Eijun wants to, but he refrains from doing so, otherwise they’re never cooling off. 

“All this time I’ve wanted to hear you laugh, and even thought hard of different ways to make you,” Eijun says, still staring at the ceiling. “And now that I finally succeeded at both, I can’t believe it was because of horny, little Eijun.”

“I believe your word choice was pubescent , senpai.”

“Same difference.”

“It wasn’t just because of that,” Koushuu replies. “Admittedly, it was funny, but, I don’t know… It was because of you. I felt happy with you. I feel happy with you.”

The next thing Eijun knows is that they’re now looking at each other, closing the distance between them with a soft kiss.

“Good to know.” Eijun grins, completely smitten. “Because I feel exactly the same.”

Now that they’ve finally cooled off, Koushuu leaves the bed to retrieve their discarded clothes, Eijun’s eyes following him. He stares shamelessly as Koushuu bends down to pick Eijun’s hoodie up from the floor, and he’s so enthralled by the sight of his naked back, he doesn’t notice when Koushuu throws the hoodie at him, hitting him square in the face.  

“H-Hey!” Eijun complains, pulling the garment down his face. “You did that on purpose, didn't you?!”

“It’s not my fault you’ve got bad reflexes, senpai,” Koushuu says nonchalantly as he gets dressed.

Eijun does the same and he can’t stay mad at Koushuu when he returns to bed and kisses his sulky pout away. They arrange themselves on the bed so Koushuu’s back is pressed to Eijun’s chest. He has an arm over him, playing with his hair in a lazy manner that Koushuu seems to be enjoying, if the content sigh he lets out is any indication. 

Eijun curls a lock around his finger, just like he dreamt of doing once. 

It isn’t long before they both fall asleep.

***

“Can you stay still?” Eijun says, exasperated. “I’m trying to do my work here!”

“You aren’t exactly being careful with your hands,” Koushuu responds, just as irritated. 

“It’s because you’re moving so much that I can’t do it right!”

Koushuu growls. “Yeah, because you keep pulling my hair.”

“Okay! Okay! Sorry. I’ll do it more carefully.”

Eijun undoes his poor fourth attempt at tying up Koushuu’s hair for him. He grabs the brush again to fix the mess and even uses his fingers, marvelling at the softness of his hair, which now brushes his shoulders. Hair tie ready, he separates his hair into two sections, keeping the top half in his hand, releasing the other.

He begins tying his hair, careful to not be too harsh, making sure he doesn’t leave any weird bumps. He doesn’t forget to leave out enough hair so it frames his face, either. 

Satisfied with the result, Eijun hands him a hand mirror and patiently waits. 

“Not bad,” Koushuu finally says, turning his head to look at his hair from different angles.

“You’re so hard to please, wolf boy.” Eijun rolls his eyes. 

Koushuu looks from his reflection in the mirror to him and rises from the bed, coming to stand in front of Eijun. “It’s perfect. Thank you,” He drops a kiss to his cheek, without a warning. 

Eijun’s hand flies to his face. He can’t even articulate an answer, feeling hot from his neck up to the tip of his ears. 

“Eijun-senpai,” Koushuu calls from the door, snapping Eijun out of it. “We’re running late.”

***

Ring the bell. Throw the coin into the offertory box. Pray .

Eijun puts his hands together in a praying gesture, closing his eyes. Koushuu, next to him, does the same.

The first wishes come to him easily: health and happiness for me and my loved ones, increase my abilities as a pitcher, success in my last term of high school, being able to find the most awesome birthday gift for my boyfriend before February 20th…

Eijun mumbles wish after wish, from big ones to small ones. He takes his time, ensuring every single one of them is wished for. He saves a special one for his last: that the path I chose to follow from here on is the right one for me.

Eijun has never been more sure it is but praying for it to be makes him feel at peace. 

Koushuu is waiting for him by one of the multiple leafless trees that surround the shrine. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his coat and Eijun pauses momentarily to look at him. He hasn’t noticed Eijun yet, boredly watching as more and more people walk by on their way to say their prayers.

While Koushuu possesses the exceptional ability to make such an apathetic expression look effortlessly attractive, Eijun swears he transforms into a whole new person when he laughs, looking even more beautiful, almost ethereal.

When his eyes finally find Eijun, he drops the mask of indifference, features visibly softening at the sight of his boyfriend. Eijun’s heart skips a beat.  

“Are you sure there aren’t two of you, wolf boy?” It’s the first thing Eijun says as soon as he’s within his earshot. 

“What?” 

Eijun grins, readjusting the scarf around Koushuu’s neck. “Nothing.”

It’s a good thing it’s winter and not the middle of summer, when they wouldn’t know what to use to cover the hickeys on both of their necks. Right now, scarves are truly their lifesavers. 

They don’t ask what the other prayed for, discussing instead what they should get for lunch on their way back home, soon reaching an agreement (soba it is).

“My friends will be here soon,” Eijun tells him, glancing down at his phone. “Actual friends not the ‘old bosom buddies’ your imagination made up, and as you’ve seen in the last week, I didn't grow up in a village deep in the mountains.”

There's a flicker of recognition in Koushuu’s eyes. He remembers too. 

“We are in the mountains, Eijun-senpai.”

Eijun opens his mouth to refute that then closes it. He... isn’t exactly wrong. Togakushi Shrine really is located in the mountains. And Nagano is surrounded by them...

“Yeah, but I didn’t grow up in a shrine!”

Koushuu’s laugh is low and brief, warming Eijun up to his core. 

He checks the hour on his phone again as a notification flashes across the screen. It’s a text message from Wakana.

Be there in 2! (･ω<)☆

Eijun’s stomach roils with nerves. He really, really needs his friends to like Koushuu and vice versa. But even he is aware it won’t be an easy task. While Koushuu is polite and respectful, he isn’t exactly the most friendly or easiest person to get along with at first. 

As much as Koushuu may look like an angel when he laughs, he’s downright intimidating to most people the rest of the time, with his quiet, intense nature paired up with a stoic face. Especially if you push his wrong buttons (Eijun experienced that first-hand and it was terrifying).

Eijun knows better, of course, having memorized many of the different expressions he’s witnessed along the way.

He looks back towards the shrine and silently offers another wish. 

“Ei-chan!” 

Eijun whirls around, just in time to see Wakana chastising Nobu for yelling in a sacred place. Nerves are instantly replaced with joy the second he sees the familiar faces of his friends, who are all smiling brightly at Eijun.

Eijun feels bad for telling them he’d meet them until New Year’s. They didn’t even ask for the reason, they were just genuinely happy hearing from him. They could’ve still dropped by his place but they didn’t, respecting his wishes. 

“Hey, guys!” Eijun waves excitedly at them, a huge grin on his face. “Long time no see!”

As they get closer, their eyes naturally land on Koushuu next to him, confusion giving way to recognition, and it seems introductions aren’t needed.

Eijun gestures at Koushuu. “Guys, this is–”

“Okumura Koushuu-san!” 

‘San’?!

Eijun blinks. His friends are looking at Koushuu with a mix of admiration and respect that can’t go missed. Of course they knew who he was, just like Eijun’s family did, since they were always present in their most important matches to support Seidou. 

“Okumura is fine,” Koushuu tells them before he bows, to their complete stupefaction. “Nice to meet you.”

Honestly, they look a bit charmed by him and Eijun can’t blame them. He can’t shake off the feeling that Koushuu is doing his best to leave a good impression on his friends because he knows they are important people to him. 

He bites down on his lip, holding back a smile.

“Ei-chan, you didn’t tell us you were going to bring Okumura-san with you!” 

Eijun rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, laughing. “Sorry!”

The tight ball of anxiety curling inside him slowly unfolds, fading away the more they chatter. They all praise his and Koushuu’s performance at Koshien, and even ask Koushuu how is he liking Nagano so far. 

With a barely suppressed smile, Eijun watches Koushuu answer their every question. He doesn’t seem to mind the overenthusiasm oozing from Eijun’s friends nor the violation of his personal space.

Too entertained watching the exchange, Eijun doesn’t notice Wakana standing next to him until she says, “You look happy, Eijun.”

“Is it that obvious?” Eijun chuckles. 

Wakana’s gaze is soft when she smiles. “You know… We missed you everyday during these three years. Things here weren’t the same without you, but... Going to Tokyo really was the best decision you could’ve made.”

“I think so too,” Eijun says. “It was really hard to say goodbye to you guys, but it’s like…” he trails off, clenching his hand into a fist. “Like you were all there with me, in some way. This is going to sound cheesy, but your unconditional support really gave me the strength I needed, even when we were kilometers apart. I would’ve never been able to get this far if it weren’t for–”

Wakana cuts him off when she stands on her tiptoes to pull him into a tight-gripping hug. “Idiot Eijun, you’re going to make me cry.” She sniffs next to his ear but Eijun can hear the smile in her voice. “We’re all proud of you. Never forget that.”

Eijun hugs her back, taking comfort in the familiar vanilla scent surrounding her. 

“Thank you.”

“Wakana!”

They break apart and Wakana pinches his cheek. 

“By the way, your boyfriend is really cute,” she whispers, leaning in with a cheeky smile. She laughs upon seeing the bewilderment on Eijun’s face. “We’ll see you guys in a bit!”

Eijun stands there and watches as Wakana falls into step next to Nobu and the others, heading to the shrine to say their prayers.

“Eh? Are you crying?” Akira asks her.

“I’m not!” Eijun manages to hear before their voices fade.

Someone accidentally bumps into him, mumbling a quick ‘sorry’ and it effectively shakes him out of his daze. How the hell Wakana had it all figured out in less than ten minutes? Girl’s intuition is truly scary.

More importantly, he realizes Koushuu is nowhere in sight. He takes a look around but doesn’t see him. He goes down the stairs, squinting due to the sunlight, and nothing. He’s about to pull out his phone to call him when he finally catches sight of a familiar blond head, shining gold under the morning sun, at the very far end, where it’s completely devoid of people.

Found you, wolf boy.

Eijun grins and his mouth opens in the shape of his name before he notices Koushuu has his phone pressed to his ear. He keeps kicking any small rock he finds on his path with the tip of his shoe.

Silently, Eijun makes his way towards him and it’s only when he’s close enough to hear the word ‘mom’ that he stops. He retreats in the same careful way so he can give him privacy and waits.

From where he is, Eijun can hear the deep timbre of his voice but can’t make out any of the words. After two minutes or so, it stops. Eijun takes a peek and sees Koushuu sliding the phone back into his pocket, apparently distracted.

Eijun doesn’t think twice. He quickly checks their surroundings to make sure it’s still safe before he covers the gap between them in the blink of an eye (Like a ninja!) and throws himself at Koushuu. 

“Caught ya!” He announces cheerily, arms wrapping around his shoulders.

There’s no noise, no huff of surprise. Instead, Koushuu’s hands automatically grab Eijun’s legs as though he was expecting Eijun’s surprise attack all along. He supports the weight on his back easily.

Frankly, Eijun doesn’t know whether to find it annoying or impressive that he can’t almost never seem to catch him off-guard.

“So, I’m the prey? I was under the impression I was the predator, as all wolves are,” Koushuu says, glancing over his shoulder.

“Ha!” Eijun exclaims, beyond pleased. “Have you finally accepted your true nature, wolf boy? It was about time!” He presses a quick kiss to Koushuu’s cold cheek, adoring the soft pink that blooms on his skin almost instantly. 

“I didn’t say that.”

“Sure you didn’t.” Eijun smirks at him even though Koushuu can’t see him. “Alright, you can put me down.”

Koushuu does as he says and then they’re face to face. At first, Eijun was upset –in a very, very, petty way, if he must admit– Koushuu had grown so much over the last months, now surpassing him by one or two centimeters. Could anyone blame him, though? He was still sixteen! He still had plenty of time to grow, whilst it seemed like Eijun would be forever stuck at his current height.

Sooner than later, Eijun bets he will need to tilt his head up to look at him, and… Well, he isn’t exactly opposed to that.

Eijun takes his hand and walks them until they’re completely hidden by some wooden structure. As if they possessed a mind of their own, his arms curl around Koushuu’s neck, and in the following second, Koushuu’s are around Eijun’s middle, hands clasped at the small of his back.

“So… what did you think of my friends? They’re pretty cool, right?”

Koushuu nods. “As loud and nosy as a certain someone, but yes, they’re nice.”

“Are you talking about me?!”

Koushuu lightly presses their noses together. “Who else if not you, Eijun-senpai?” He whispers against his mouth. Eijun shivers, feeling a little weak at the knees, eyes fluttering shut.

They share deep, languid kisses that warm them up in record time. Eijun’s fingers can’t stop playing with Koushuu’s hair at the back of his neck whilst Koushuu’s hands have slipped under Eijun’s jacket, rubbing circles over the soft fabric of the sweater he wears underneath. It makes Eijun fervently wish they were behind a closed door so Koushuu could touch his naked skin instead.

Eijun tugs gently at Koushuu’s bottom lip and the low groan he lets out goes straight to his dick. They have to stop. Otherwise, things will escalate in no time and Eijun’s horny brain will speak for him.

With all the willpower Eijun can muster up, he moves his hands from Koushuu’s neck to place them over his shoulders, pushing gently to break the kiss. Koushuu takes the hint and pulls away from him.

“What happened with taking it slow and easy?” Eijun reminds him but his voice comes out as shaky.

“I could ask you the same, senpai,” Koushuu says, out of breath.

Now that Eijun can think rationally again, he wants to ask him about the phone call with his mom; if there was something wrong or if she just wanted to know about her son’s well being. Surely, he would tell him if there was something wrong going on.

As if on cue, Koushuu says suddenly, “I need to go back home.”

“Home? You mean…”

“Kanagawa. Mom returned earlier than expected from her trip and she wants to see me before our break is over.”

Before winter break is over? They still have a little less than a week of vacation before the next term starts. Logically speaking, Okumura-san must be expecting her son to go home as soon as possible, especially when they haven’t seen each other in several months.

Now that he thinks about it, Eijun searches within his memories if he ever saw Koushuu’s parents in the stands at Seidou’s games, but he gives up. It’s obvious he’d remember if he did. He recently learned his parents are divorced but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t go on their separate ways to support their son.

He wants to ask Koushuu, but now it isn’t the moment.

“You’re leaving today?”

“Or tomorrow morning at most,” Koushuu replies. 

“Oh.”

Yeah, ‘oh’, Eijun. Good job.

Honestly, Eijun feels a little disappointed. He assumed they’d spend their whole break in Nagano and then return to Seidou together. That was the plan. It’s only a week but they’re at that stage of their relationship where one week feels like a month. 

Even the thought of Koushuu leaving within the next few hours makes Eijun miss him already. After this week they won’t be able to spend as much time together. Not with Eijun’s hectic last term of high school and Koushuu’s huge responsibility as Seidou’s main catcher. 

Eijun refuses to come off as extremely clingy or needy, and end up making Koushuu feel guilty or something, so he puts on his best smile and hopes it’s believable enough.

“Then we shouldn’t waste the time we have left!”

“I told her I’d bring a friend.”

They both speak at the same time. Again.

Huh?!

“You told her what?!” Eijun says in a high-pitched voice, barely able to contain the joyful smile wanting to break free on his face because it’s evident now Koushuu felt the same longing as him. 

“I’m really sorry, Eijun-senpai.” Koushuu says quickly and Eijun’s brows knit together at the abashed expression he finds on his face. “I should’ve asked you first. I thought– I just... I shouldn’t have assumed anything.” 

Koushuu completely misunderstood. 

“Wait a second! You got it all wrong!” Eijun flails his arms around wildly then cups his boyfriend’s face in his hands. “Listen. You misunderstood everything. Nothing makes me more happy than knowing you always had the intention of taking me with you. And I’d like to.” He rubs his thumbs across his cheeks. “I actually didn’t want you to think I’d be sad you were leaving and then you’d feel guilty. Well, of course it makes me sad but you know what I mean, right?!” 

A small nod. 

“Great.” Eijun releases his hold on Koushuu’s face to take both of his hands and gives them a squeeze.

The next thing he says should be something along the lines of ‘well, when do you want us to leave, wolf boy? ’ But there’s something lurking in his mind that keeps him from doing it. 

Perhaps, it’s not a bad idea that Koushuu goes to Kanagawa on his own, for more reasons than one. They both should spend some time with their own families and friends. Seriously, Eijun would feel like an asshole if he left his friends when he hasn’t purposefully seen them in all the time he’s been home. 

And maybe… He wants to find out how it’d feel like, this brief separation. Some kind of test. Because this is what’s going to be like in the future, when Eijun inevitably graduates and Koushuu still has a year left in high school. They won’t see each other as frequently, that much is obvious. They'll have to deal with the struggles that come with it, in one way or another. 

“I still wasn’t really thinking,” Koushuu insists, pulling Eijun out of his thoughts. “I wasn’t expecting to leave so soon and the only thing going through my mind was that I didn’t want to be away from you. So I said the first thing I thought of to avoid that.” He brushes Eijun’s bangs with his fingers with a small smile. “I wish we could be together a little more, but you should stay here, Eijun-senpai. However we look at it, I’ve kept you from being with both your family and friends.” 

Always so goddamn thoughtful when it comes to him.

Eijun opens his mouth, ready to refute that but Koushuu places a single finger over his lips, stopping him. “We both know it’s true. I also should spend time with my mom. I haven’t seen her in a long time, after all.” 

Eijun closes it and Koushuu drops his hand. 

“And you’re right. We shouldn’t be wasting any time.” 

With that, he captures Eijun’s mouth in a sweet kiss; a kiss that Eijun hopes is enough to survive the next six days.

***

It was especially bad at night.

During the day, there were so many things to do he didn’t really have the time to sit down and really miss him. Eijun spent the first couple of days hanging out with his friends or helping his mom in the kitchen and his dad in the greenhouse, or even playing shōgi with his grandfather for a considerable amount of time— so long, Tetsu-san would be really proud of Eijun.

He especially enjoyed the third day, when he and his friends dropped by the old but still very functional baseball field to play a full game. Were they enough people to fill the minimum number of players on each team? No, but they made it work. 

His friends never stopped showering him with praise whenever he stood on the mound. He couldn’t help the idiotic smile that spread across his face the more he heard and saw their amazed faces. 

Ei-chan, you’re amazing! 

Teach me how to do that, Ei-chan! 

Are you really our Ei-chan?!

It was during the fifth inning when Wakana plopped down next to him on the bench, as they were currently playing on the offense. 

“Normally, I’d make sure to not let all the compliments go to your head and inflate your ego but you really deserve every praise that comes your way. You’ve grown so much, Eijun.” 

“You think so?” He asked, still flustered. 

Wakana smiled. “Anyone who personally knows you thinks the same.”

“Thanks, Wakana,” he said, returning her fond smile.

“You miss Okumura-san, don’t you?”

“San?! You too, Wakana?”

Wakana let out a nervous laugh. “He may be cute but he’s also a little bit intimidating. I can’t believe he’s younger than us.” 

“Right?!” Eijun perked up. “We definitely got off on the wrong foot when we first met. To be honest, he scared the hell out of me.” He laughed out loud, despite himself. 

Wakana’s eyes were curious. “That doesn’t sound as far-fetched as you may think, Eijun. What did you do?”

Eijun didn’t bother getting offended over her assumption that it was he and not Koushuu who started it all. Instead, he didn’t waste time and retold everything that happened in what he’d officially declared as the Cafeteria Disaster Day. 

By the time he was done, it was their turn on defense and Wakana was laughing like she had just heard the funniest thing in a while. 

“That’s the most Eijun-like situation and I’m not surprised at all,” she said, standing up. “All I got from this is that you got your own version of a meet-cute.” 

Yeah, she pretty much summed it up. 

It’s not until later that night that Eijun remembers he forgot to ask her how she figured out they were together. 

And as it happened the two previous nights, his thoughts wander over to blue eyes and soft, blond hair. 

To his surprise, he and Koushuu don’t text each other as much as Eijun thought they would. 

The good mornings and good nights texts were always sent. Small but meaningful texts that Eijun didn’t hold back on and filled with heart and kissing emojis; a stupid smile appearing on his face when Koushuu sent back a single red heart. 

They did send each other pictures of what the other was seeing or where they currently were. Mostly scenery pictures in Koushuu’s case whilst Eijun’s were a bit of everything, from pictures with his friends, to interesting things he thought Koushuu would like to see. 

Eijun thinks it’s a bit odd they haven’t talked about the future, about what follows after they graduate from high school, first Eijun, then Koushuu. Eijun has known for a while what he truly wants and he only hopes he can experience this journey next to Koushuu. 

Up until this point, they chose to live in the present and reminisce about the past, but Eijun is aware sooner than later, they’ll have to address the future. 

He rolls over on the bed, staring longingly at the empty space next to him. Damn, he really missed Koushuu. He missed everything about him. His warmth, his voice, his laugh. God . He aches to hear him laugh again, to hold him in his arms, to kiss him senseless. At this point it’s a physical need rather than a wish.  

His phone vibrates next to him, its screen lighting up the room for a few seconds. Eijun grabs it and his heart nearly stops at the single sentence Koushuu’s sent. No emojis. Just the raw sincerity of an admission.  

Tonight, Eijun is sleeping early; he’s got a mission to complete because he has no self-control and because he misses his boyfriend way too much. 

***

The next afternoon, Eijun steps out of the train, duffel bag hanging over his shoulder, brimming with happiness. 

He looks up at the sign above him as a grin slowly takes over his face, and people must think something good just happened to him.

Not yet, he wants to tell them. 

He reads the text again and the same rush of affection he felt last night fills him up. He basks in it, feeling it in every corner of his body and soul.

I wish you were here.

Because the sign reads Yokohama station in Kanagawa prefecture and Eijun is only a call away from turning it into a reality. 

He answers after the second tone.

“Remember when you said there wasn’t a single thing that could stop Sawamura Eijun?” Eijun doesn’t wait for a reply, smile widening. “Well, you weren’t wrong, my wolf boy.”