Archive of Our Own ^beta

Just an hour ago, he was playing his role as the good husband to Namjoon and packed his lunch. Now, he is anything but a good husband, inviting over another man to their bedroom that was supposed to be sacred to only them. Just an hour ago, he kissed his husband of two years goodbye to work. Now, he is hungrily claiming the lips of another man right on top of their bed. And just an hour ago, Taehyung solely loved Namjoon with all his heart. But right now, his head is consumed with only thoughts of Jimin, Jimin, Jimin. 

“Babe, let’s get these clothes off, hm?” Jimin whispers huskily. All their clothes get tossed to the side in seconds. The all-too-familiar warmth of Jimin’s naked body sends shivers down Taehyung’s spine. 

It’s so wrong, says the back of Taehyung’s mind. But his body is saying otherwise, already pliant underneath Jimin’s deep gaze and reacting too happily to the other’s soft lips. It’s so wrong, but it feels right. Everything he and Jimin are doing right now, had been doing for the last few months, should feel wrong. Yet, Taehyung’s mind and body already accepted the harsh, cold fact-- he belongs to Jimin. It has always been him and Jimin. Jimin is his first love. His soulmate. His destiny. 

A tiny voice in the midst of all his inner demons tries to scream. Then how did Namjoon come into the picture? Taehyung forces that tiny voice back into the void. It was much easier nowadays to ignore that voice of reason, or perhaps, the voice of truth. As much as he should be concerned with this result, Taehyung is all too used to this mess of feelings. The weight of shame disappears just as fast it comes when he feels Jimin’s hands roaming all over his body. He just feels instead of thinks. 

“Oh, Min…” Taehyung gasps when he feels the familiar digits entering inside him. 

Taehyung’s heart beats against his chest when he hears Jimin growl, “You’re a little loose today. Tell me the truth, baby. Did your husband get inside you this morning? Or is your hole still loose from our yesterday’s joining?” 

This should have slapped Taehyung into reality. The way Jimin is cruelly mentioning Namjoon while they are doing this sinful deed should have ruined any arousal he’s feeling. Instead, Taehyung only feels heaviness in chest. At this point, the thin line between panic and excitement has been blurred. 

“It’s you, Min. Only had you inside this week. N-not my husband,” Taehyung gasps, tears forming in his eyes. The tears came from a mix of pleasure he’s feeling from Jimin’s fingers and the ounce of shame he still has left unburied. 

Jimin clicks his tongue, “That’s right, babe. You’re all mine, isn’t that right? Even with that ring on your finger you share with another man, you are and still always be mine.” 

Taehyung couldn’t respond to that. He’s pathetically crying now, and he wants to blame it on Jimin’s dexterous fingers moving in and out of him. Noticing how much Taehyung is crying at the moment, Jimin is silent for the next minute, wordlessly opening up Taehyung. To soothe the crying man, Jimin plants soft kisses around Taehyung’s inner thighs, and Taehyung melts from the gesture. 

He almost misses the slight burn when Jimin inserts his fourth fingers, the squelching sounds coming from his hold growing louder and louder by each second. Taehyung is now shaking in pleasure. 

The married man begs, “P-please. Need you right now. Inside, inside, inside.” Taehyung lets out a pathetic whine when Jimin quickly removes his fingers inside him, hating the brief moment of emptiness. 

It doesn’t take long for Jimin to push his entire length inside Taehyung in one go, however. With his hands on Taehyung’s slim waist, Jimin mercilessly pulls his soulmate’s body towards him, drilling his cock as deep as he could inside Taehyung. 

Taehyung lets out a soundless cry, eyes squeezing shut and relishing the feeling of Jimin’s thick, cock filling him to the brim. They are now one again, just as they are supposed to be. 

Jimin groans softly, releasing one of his hands from Taehyung’s waist and then interlacing their fingers next to Taehyung’s head. The smaller man leans into, lips tracing the lines of Taehyung’s collar. 

“You’re so good, Tae. Feel so good for me, baby.” 

Taehyung whines, “P-please move. Need to feel you. Need you.” 

Jimin places a firm kiss on Taehyung’s lips. “Of course, my love.” His love. Before Taehyung could ponder about the endearment Jimin just slipped, his train of thought disappeared once Jimin began to move. 

Taehyung mewls loudly and squeezes onto Jimin’s hand as his soulmate sets a fast pace. It’s unlike anything Taehyung had felt before. With Jimin’s skillful, dancer hips pistoning back and forth in him, Taehyung feels nothing but bliss and pleasure. The sounds of the headrest ramming into the wall drowns out from his ears, only focusing on the sounds of Jimin’s soft groans and the wet squelching of his hole swallowing Jimin’s fat cock. 

One particular, strong thrust that hits the spot sends Taehyung in a frenzy. He screams, arms grabbing hold of Jimin’s strong shoulders. 

“There! Right there, Min! Oh, please, harder!” 

“I got you, Taehyung. I got you.” The bed thumps against the wall even harder, and if anyone was near their front door, they would know what is going on inside the master bedroom. Neither Taehyung or Jimin seem to care-- too lost in their pleasure. 

Taehyung feels the familiar feeling of something building inside of him. It slowly reaches up to his abdomen, and Taehyung knows his climax is coming. However, he wants to come with his soulmate. 

“Jiminie… I’m close. I want to come with you,” Taehyung begs, eyes wet and pleading. 

Jimin does not stop his relentless pace, and he gazes into his soulmate’s eyes lovingly. 

“I’m almost done, love. Just hold on a little longer. You’re doing so well, baby. Almost there.” Taehyung automatically closes his eyes when Jimin closes the gap between and deeply kisses him. Jimin swallows down his moans when his thrusts become stronger and stronger, causing his toes to clench tightly. 

And once again, all he thinks and knows is Jimin, Jimin, Jimin. Even when he knows that hours later, he will be back to loving and knowing his husband named Namjoon only. 

“Ah Jimin…” 

“Fuck, fuck, I’m so close baby.” 

“Please…” 

“Come with me.” 

When Jimin’s hand creeps into his own cock and strokes it twice, Taehyung sees white, his entire body buzzing with pleasure and warmth. He spills all over Jimin’s stomach, while he feels Jimin’s seed filling inside, causing him to let out a small whine. It’s so good. With his head blanking with nothing but content, Taehyung wraps his arms around Jimin’s neck to kiss him even more deeply. Their tongue dances around each other, addicted to each other’s taste since they first fell into temptation five months ago.

And nowadays, Taehyung knows the taste of Jimin more so than his own husband. That’s something Taehyung should be feeling absolutely devastated about, but he can’t think about that right now. Not when Jimin is stroking his face so tenderly, placing sweet kisses all over his face like he’s Jimin’s most precious treasure.  

Not when Taehyung is only thinking and feeling Jimin in the bed where he and Namjoon slept together for the first time as a married couple. 

Oh the ugly irony of all this. 

Taehyung inspects his bedroom one more time. The room is looking clean and fresh like he and Jimin didn’t taint every single corner of it with their sins. Taehyung swallows, eyes avoiding the wedding photo standing tall and proud at the nightstand to Namjoon’s side of the bed. He doesn’t have the heart to stare at that right now. Taehyung walks out the room and closes the door behind him. Jimin’s head perks up from the couch when he hears the sound of the door closing. 

“Everything done?” the 28 year old professional dancer asks, sitting up from the velvet couch he was laying on.Taehyung nods slowly. Jimin spares him a sorrowful smile. “Okay. Should I get going then? When will he come back from work?” 

“You still have an hour left. He has a meeting tonight.” 

“Hyung has been busy lately, huh?” 

“Yeah. Another band is having an album coming out this year.” 

“That’s great. Hyung has been getting a lot of requests for songwriting since he wrote a song for the industry’s top soloist in the beginning of this year.” 

“Yeah…” Taehyung’s voice trails off into an inaudible whisper. This causes Jimin to let out a frustrated sigh. 

Jimin beckons Taehyung to the couch, “Tae, let’s stop beating around the bush. We need to talk.” Fuck. Taehyung knew it was about time for Jimin to start to get impatient, but he wasn't ready. He wasn’t ready to move onto the next step that he should have taken months ago. 

Taehyung drags his feet to Jimin and climbs onto the couch. The dancer immediately pulls Taehyung to his body, and Taehyung leans into Jimin by instinct. They remain like this for a couple of minutes until Jimin decides to speak again. 

“Taehyungie. You can’t keep on doing this. It isn’t fair to him, or to me. You have to let him go.” Taehyung lets out an ugly sob. He and Jimin only had talked about this twice at most ever since they began this act. Taehyung tried his very best to avoid these conversations (as he still can’t choose between his soulmate and husband), but Jimin has been trying to get them to talk since last week. 

Perhaps the reason Taehyung has been able to remain sane for constantly going behind his husband’s back almost every other night is his impressive ability to avoid . He avoided thinking and dreading the inevitable day when he will have to lose one of the loves of his life. He avoided the dissonance of his heart, the necessary reflection in critically thinking who he truly loves-- Namjoon or Jimin. He avoided the foreknowledge of the scars he will mark on Namjoon’s entirety for the very things he’s doing including engaging these avoidant behaviors. 

Because in the end… 

“How are you sure it’s Namjoon hyung I will be letting go?” Taehyung suddenly asks, eyes closed and voice unnaturally calm. 

Jimin releases Taehyung and smiles almost sadly. Taehyung knows that Jimin knows how much Taehyung truly loves Namjoon, despite what one might assume with the way Taehyung has been unfaithful beyond words. The fact Taehyung married Namjoon is telling to Jimin. And the fact that Taehyung is even insinuating the possibility that he may choose Namjoon in the end just shows that even with Taehyung’s undying love for Jimin, Taehyung’s love for Namjoon is just as strong. Maybe even stronger, which Jimin can’t find himself to accept or want to believe. 

And so, Jimin states the harsh, cold truth, “Because we belong to each other, Taehyungie. Look at what we have done. After what we have been doing, the only ones left will be you and me. Namjoon hyung will not stay with you after this, and you know that. Besides,” Jimin pauses to wipe the tears streaming down Taehyung’s face, who is now shaking in distress from the truth Jomin has just spilled. 

“No matter how much you love Namjoon hyung, I will always stay in your heart, Taehyungie. I can never be erased, and that’s the only thing I’m holding onto. Otherwise…” Jimin’s lips hovers above Taehyung's ears as he whispers the next words, “Otherwise I wouldn’t have believed that we are soulmates. But we are, my love. We are destined to be together, and for me, no one can replace you. For you, you tried to replace me with Namjoon hyung, but you soon realized that you just can’t. It only takes one touch for us to remember that there is no one else but us in our little world. Not even Namjoon hyung.” Taehyung closes his eyes in defeat, blinking the fresh set of tears of acceptance. 

And Jimin’s final words lingered in the air. “That is why, I still have hope that it will be me you choose in the end. We are meant to be.” 

“Taehyung-ah! I’m home!” A deep, melodic voice echoes across the room. The only time Taehyung has the means to push Jimin off from him is the voice of his husband that holds another part of his heart: Kim Namjoon. The two pair of soulmates, after a rather intense conversation between them in the living room, found themselves sucking each other’s mouths in the bathroom for the next half hour. They separate abruptly when they hear Namjoon’s deep voice calling the guilty’s name. 

Shamelessly, Taehyung and Jimin are way too used to these close-calls with Namjoon. They stopped being overly careful in their secret affairs. One time, Taehyung and Jimin did a quickie in Jimin’s room while Namjoon stepped into the bathroom in the middle of a movie night. 

It should be awful how good Taehyung and Jimin are in covering up their shortcomings, but they both get off from the thrill. And Taehyung couldn’t be any more ashamed of this fact. Yet again, Taehyung tries to avoid these thoughts and the weight of his actions. 

Without sparing Jimin a glance, Taehyung unlocks the bathroom door and runs to the living room. They have both memorized the routine-- never enter together at the same time. 

“Joon hyung! Welcome home!” Taehyung squeals, trying his best to sound as normal as possible. Taehyung’s heart does its tiny jumps when his eyes land on his tall, loving husband standing in front of the coat rack, putting away his jacket before opening his arms wide to Taehyung. 

Flashing his deep dimples, Namjoon exclaims, “I missed you, baby. How have you been today?” Like the expert he is now, Taehyung doesn’t even think twice jumping into Namjoon’s arms or think about the irony of how he’s being called “baby” right now (like Jimin calling him baby a hundred times before this hour suddenly disappears in his memory bank). 

Taehyung giggles when Namjoon presses his cold yet soft lips onto his forehead. It should hurt that Namjoon's lips aren’t as familiar as Jimin’s lately. And if Taehyung takes more time to think about this, he would come to the conclusion that it’s not necessarily Namjoon’s fault for this outcome. Their sex life has been fine, great even, and Namjoon does so well in making sure he makes some time Taehyung each week. 

It’s just that Taehyung has been spending time with Jimin more than he should. To the point where his body is more used to Jimin’s touches than his husband’s. 

Taehyung pushes those thoughts again and smiles at his husband. “It’s been a little boring. Oh, but Jimin came by today to help me in my creativity dump. Jimin-ah! Come say hi to hyung!” Shock is all over Namjoon’s face when Jimin suddenly pops out from Taehyung’s studio across their bedroom. 

Jimin waves at Namjoon a bit shyly and greets the elder, “Hey hyung. How was work today?” 

Namjoon tries to regain his composure, but it was painfully obvious that the music producer was still flustered from Jimin’s unexpected appearance. “Oh, I didn’t know you were coming over today, Jimin-ah. You guys should have told me so I could have brought more servings of jjajangmyeon then. Hold on, let me go call them again--” 

Jimin waves both of his hands in protest, “Oh no, no, it’s alright hyung. I’m just about to leave. Taemin is waiting for me back at the apartment for dinner actually. He’s making his infamous pasta again, so I should get going.” 

Namjoon’s finger stops before he could press the call button, a bit confused at what to do now. “Oh.. you’re leaving already?” 

Taehyung links his arm with Namjoon, trying to hide his frantic heart. “Jimin helped me with stop motion pictures with his dance movements. He’s a bit tired. We did a lot of work today.” Jimin nods in agreement while he goes to the couch to grab his bag and jacket. Namjoon only blinks rapidly to process the information that was given to him. 

“Okay. We can have dinner again next time then, Jimin-ah,” Namjoon says with a small, bashful smile. Taehyung’s heart sinks at the word next time while Jimin smiles back. 

“Of course, hyung. Well, I hope you two enjoy dinner, and have a good night!” Jimin reaches Taehyung first and gives him a side hug. Then, Jimin moves onto Namjoon, snaking his arm behind Namjoon’s back. 

Namjoon leans into Jimin’s side hug and whispers a goodbye, unaware of the dancer’s hand that was currently stroking on top of his husband’s hand right behind his back. Literally, not figuratively. 

Jimin gives Taehyung a side glance; Taehyung tries to avoid them. Yet, he makes no move to slide away from Jimin’s hand that was on top of his own hand resting on top of his husband’s back. 

Jimin removes himself from Namjoon, along with slipping his hand from Taehyung’s. With a smug smile as if he had just won a game, Jimin bids the married couple a goodbye. Then, the dancer leaves the house, taking his silent victory with him. 

Once the front door shuts behind Jimin, Namjoon turns to Taehyung with an almost nervous smile on his face. For some reason, Taehyung already feels an ache in his chest when he sees that forced, timid look. 

Taehyung wishes that he was a better man and spared Namjoon all the pain that may come in the future. Or better yet, Taehyung just wishes he was a good person in the first place that would have never set Namjoon up for inevitable suffering. Even now, Taehyung wishes he could just wipe that uneasiness in Namjoon’s eyes, but he knows that he can’t. For if he pretends that everything is okay or will be okay, he will just be putting more fuel to the fire. 

There’s nothing he can do to set things completely right. And all Taehyung is doing right now is making things worse for everyone, especially Namjoon and himself. Jimin too, but Taehyung isn’t concerned about that right now. How selfish, right? 

Even though Jimin was the only concern in his mind just hours ago, his so-called soulmate is nowhere near his priorities right now when all he sees is his husband standing in front of him with downcast eyes. 

Taehyung honestly doesn’t deserve either of them at this point. 

Namjoon breaks the brief silence that followed after Jimin’s departure. “So… Do you want to go to the dining table and jjajangmyeon and talk about your project you did earlier with Jimin?” Taehyung laces his fingers around Namjoon’s, the rings on their fingers clashing momentarily. Swallowing down the lump forming on his throat, Taehyung leans forward and plants a soft kiss on Namjoon’s lips. 

This successfully (and temporarily) clears the uneasiness in Namjoon’s eyes much to Taehyung’s joy. Taehyung smiles through their kiss and whispers, “Of course, hyung. Let’s have dinner together now. I’m starving. Thank you for bringing dinner, my love.” 

Namjoon’s smile deepens, and so do his dimples. The taller man then proceeds to excitedly take the bags he placed on the floor and practically skips to the dining table. Taehyung can’t help but giggle from his husband’s adorable antics. His husband may be a 6 foot giant with the face of a hot, intimidating businessman , but on the inside, Namjoon is nothing but an innocent, gentle teddy bear. Taehyung prepares cups and bowls for them while Namjoon hums to the tune of a song when preparing their take out dinner. 

“I got your favorite tangsuyuk, Tae. I hope this makes up for the late night meetings I have been attending this week,” Namjoon tells his husband with yet another nervous smile. 

Taehyung’s heart swells again. Namjoon is always sweet and so thoughtful to him. Moments like these (which are so frequent on a daily basis) always makes Taehyung's head spiral to think angrily “How can you do this to someone as precious as him? Namjoon does not deserve any of the shit you’ve been doing.” 

But Taehyung’s selfishness has no bounds. He loves Namjoon selfishly. He wants to keep him a little longer, as much as he can. Though he wishes to have Namjoon forever, he knows that it’s nearly impossible to want that as of now. 

Not when he has reunited with his actual destined partner, Park Jimin. 

He and Namjoon have been married for 2 years now, just half-way to their third anniversary. He met Namjoon at the age of 22, started dating the music intern at the time a year later, and married him when he turned 26. Those 6 years he had with Namjoon were the best times of his life, even incomparable to what he had considered his best moments in life with Park Jimin, his first love and first boyfriend. 

He and Jimin go way back, way before he and Namjoon. They discovered that they were soulmates at the young age of 3, when they both grabbed the same ball of red yarn in their preschool class. Since then, he and Jimin were inseparable, attending the same school, miraculously placed in the same class every year, and then accepting their fate as fated loves at the age of 16. All of their friends, schoolmates, and even their family members just knew that they were meant to be, so when they came home hand in hand from their high school one night, no one was surprised. In fact, they were soon labelled as the “the real-like fairy tale couple” in their school. 

From then on, Jimin and Taehyung kept loving each other furiously to no bounds. They were each other’s first for everything, knew each other's minds more than they knew themselves, and even began to develop a telepathic language between them. They believed that they would stick together forever, and they wouldn’t want it any other way. 

Then in comes their college applications. At the age of 19, Jimin got accepted to an international dance school. Jimin couldn’t let go of this opportunity, and Taehyung of course supported his boyfriend whole-heartedly to attend this school. 

They knew that even if they were separated by seas, their hearts would still be connected. And so, Jimin moved away. Taehyung felt empty for months, but they still video called each other every day. The two were certain that they would break the negative expectations of a long distance relationship, but even the most anticipated couple in the community couldn’t overcome the distance between them. 

They broke up at the age of 20 when Jimin decided to pursue his professional career internationally. Both were devastated, and they lost all contact afterwards. For a whole year, Taehyung felt like a wandering soul, feeling emptiness without his soulmate. He let life drag his feet in his early twenties, taking whichever classes he felt like and testing out the different waters of his potential future career. 

Then he meets Kim Namjoon. The color suddenly returned to his vision when he found himself falling for this charming, kind-hearted, and inspirational music intern who he ran into at a cafe. It took a while for Taehyung to actually acknowledge that he had feelings for Namjoon. The idea that his soulmate is Jimin and no one else was so ingrained to him that he thought it wasn’t possible for him to fall in love with anyone else. 

But Namjoon just did that. Namjoon broke Taehyung’s years-long belief that Taehyung can have the ability to love someone else other than Jimin. After Taehyung came to terms with his undeniable feelings for the elder, he did not hold back. He accepted Namjoon’s confession and began dating him. 

He slowly yet surely came to love every trait and flaw of Namjoon’s, and just as slowly and surely, he began to forget about Jimin. Taehyung honestly wasn’t expecting too much when he first decided to go on dates with Namjoon, thinking that he would just back out just like he did with previous attempts in replacing Jimin in his life. However, the moments he shared with Namjoon stuck onto him. Namjoon’s touches became something special, almost magical. And soon, Taehyung started to see a future with Namjoon, not Jimin. 

He began wanting Namjoon as his everything, including his future. And so, Taehyung had no second thoughts when Namjoon popped the question years later-- the hole in Taehyung’s heart that was left by Jimin has finally been completely sealed. 

And for a while, only Namjoon had his entire heart. Taehyung couldn’t be any happier. 

Then, everything came crashing down when Taehyung received a message from Jimin 5 months ago on January 19, the date he and Jimin got together. 

The message read, “Hey, Tae Tae. I’m home.” 

Taehyung ignored the message at first. He was actually mad and appalled from the nature of the message. How dare Jimin text him out of the blue after almost 8 years of no contact? Jimin couldn't actually think that Taehyung would come running to their promised meeting place when Jimin tells him that he’s ‘home’? 

Besides, Taehyung was (still is) a happy, married man. Just like he should (and should have continued to this day), he scoffed and deleted the message. But what could Taehyung do when Jimin showed up to his art studio the day later, looking just as beautiful as he had remembered? 

Taehyung remembered the moment he laid his eyes on Jimin, his first best friend, his first love, and his forever soulmate. He remembered the familiar rush of feelings travelling through his entire body the second Jimin flashes him his angelic smile and whispers with his silky, sweet voice. He knew what these feelings were, the tingling sensation bouncing out from his skin. 

It’s the call of the universe to tell him that his soulmate has finally returned to him. Only he and Jimin could feel, could sense, could understand what they were feeling at the moment they drank in the sight of each other for the first time after 8 years. 

But Taehyung really tried to fight it. He really did, as he refrained from jumping over his desk to jump into Jimin’s awaiting arms that morning. Instead, Taehyung remembered staying behind his desk and greeting Jimin as if he was a longtime friend. 

Jimin was more than shocked by Taehyung’s response, and Taehyung’s first explanation was, “I’m married, Jimin-ah. I’m sorry I haven't told you.” 

It should have ended there. The invisible thread between him and Jimin should have finally been cut that day. Everything should have been fine when Jimin congratulated Taehyung and his marriage with tears of joy (perhaps it wasn’t joy now that Taehyung thinks about it) and they hugged as platonic soulmates. 

Except it didn’t. And Taehyung can’t exactly tell you when and where it all went wrong. Maybe it’s because Taehyung doesn’t want to give excuses whatever happened afterward that led him to the position he is in today. 

Cause in the end, Namjoon is only going to get hurt. Even if Taehyung decides to completely end things with Jimin and move to a different city or country with Namjoon to put the mess he caused behind him, the damage has already been done. Taehyung now came to accept that he does indeed belong to Jimin. Jimin is his destiny. He also knows his horrible deed will crawl back to him one day if decides to run away, and that is the most horrible thing he could do to Namjoon right now. 

As if what he isn’t doing right now is the most horrible thing he could do to the love of his life.  

Taehyung resumes his false tale of his ‘project’ with Jimin to Namjoon at the dining table while slurping onto the delicious noodles Namjoon bought. Namjoon listens keenly, wearing that same, cautious smile whenever Taehyung mentions Jimin’s name. Taehyung ignores it, knowing he can’t do anything about it. 

Namjoon has been a bit suspicious for quite a while now. While he and Jimin did certainly get better at burying their crimes, at the same time, the two soulmates have been getting a bit too confident with their shenanigans. To get off from the possibility of getting caught and along with the fact that they are unable to keep their hands to themselves around each other these days, he and Jimin have been stuck together more than usual to the point it started to make Namjoon a bit uncomfortable. 

Heartbreak and shame couldn’t even begin to describe Taehyung’s feelings when Namjoon confronted him three months ago about this. 

Namjoon is usually an endearingly obvious man by nature. And he usually dislikes accusations and confrontations, so Taehyung almost wanted to give himself up when Namjoon sat him down on this exact dining table and asked him in a shaky voice. 

“ Taehyung-ah. I don’t want to assume anything or insinuate that I don’t have any faith in you whatsoever, but I-I have been wondering. H-have you and Jimin been more than friends before? W-was he the guy you were helplessly in love with back in high school?” Taehyung has told Namjoon before about Jimin, but he never gave Namjoon a name, just a description of Jimin and how much he impacted Taehyung. 

So Taehyung lied, “Oh hyung. I’m so sorry if I’ve been too touchy with Jimin to your liking. We have only been childhood friends, and he’s been my best friend for over ten years. There was and is nothing between us. I’m sorry for making you feel insecure. Let me make it up to you, baby.” 

And that was the end of it. While Taehyung reduced the amount of touching between him and Jimin, Jimin was still almost everywhere with him. Which was why Namjoon wasn’t able to ‘complain’ (Jimin’s words, not Taehyung’s) about them when they aren’t seen doing anything worth raising suspicion for. 

Yet, after being with Namjoon for years, Taehyung knows Namjoon hasn’t been able to rid of the skepticism in him. Of course, he can’t blame his husband. 

Taehyung tries to change topics, unable to withstand another second of Namjoon’s unsure eyes. Fuck, he really is in a bad position. How will he ever come forth and confess his sins to Namjoon if he already can’t handle this? 

His self-hatred only grows. 

“How’s it going with the new tracks you received? I heard that the band you are writing for is super famous now!” Taehyung says with forced excitement. 

Some of the tension on Namjoon’s shoulders drops, and so does the heaviness in Taehyung’s chest. The happy gleam in Namjoon’s eyes return as he begins to eagerly describe his current progress with his songwriting. Taehyung finds himself smiling genuinely now, feeling content just to see elation in Namjoon’s expression. A smile is fitting to his husband. 

Too bad he’s going to destroy that smile sooner or later. 

The married couple finish their dinner and clean up after their mess. They start the water on, both standing side by side together in front of the sink to wash dishes together. This is one of the habits they developed as a married couple-- cleaning up together while singing their favorite songs together. 

Sometimes, during their dishwashing session, they would childishly splash water at each other when they are in high spirits or feeling overly excited. Other times, they would engage in rather a deep conversation of whatever that comes to mind ranging from politics to the meaning of identity. Even if they are in the middle of an argument, he and Namjoon would still stand side by side together to wash their dirty plates. It would be a silent session, but they never failed to make up in the end. 

Namjoon hums to a familiar tune, and he starts shaking his hips when the tempo increases.Taehyung giggles beside him, wiping the wet, washed plate handed by Namjoon. He joins along with his husband’s humming and cute dancing, just like they would always do after their dinner nights. 

Taehyung will miss even these small yet special moments. This is his and Namjoon’s thing only. Jimin cannot go anywhere near replacing his domestic moments with Namjoon like these. With years of building trust, love, and comfort in each other, what he and Namjoon share everyday is something that can’t be recreated nor be compared. 

Taehyung finishes drying the last of the plates; Namjoon turns off the water. The taller man stretches his long limbs and sighs heavily. 

“Ahh, I’m feeling stiff, babe. Wanna head to bed now?” 

“No Netflix night?” 

“How about Netflix on the bed?” 

“You’re going to fall asleep around the first ten minutes of the show, hyung.” 

“At least I watched ten minutes of it.” Taehyung giggles again, allowing himself to be pulled into Namjoon’s chest. Placing an arm around his waist, Taehyung feels Namjoon lean close and pecks him on his lips. “Gonna shower then. See ya in bed, Tae.” 

The guilty husband stands behind the kitchen when Namjoon heads to the bathroom, humming happily to the same tune they were singing to earlier. Tears finally made their way out of Taehyung’s eyes. 

 Shame on Taehyung. Shame on him for ruining everything he and husband have built and treasured.  Truly, shame on Taehyung. He will lose everything, and the only thing he can do now is to store these memories into a place he will never forget. 

Taehyung was so focused on tidying up their bed to make it as comfortable as possible for his husband that he didn’t realize Namjoon had been behind for about 5 minutes. After neatly folding extra blankets and rearranging extra pillows for Namjoon to snuggle into, Taehyung turns around to grab some snacks for them. He jumps in fright when he sees Namjoon standing a bit awkwardly right in front of him, still in his fluffy bathrobes. 

“Oh my god hyung, how long have you been standing there?” Taehyung asks, catching his breath in front of the jump scare he just experienced. 

Namjoon chews on his bottom lip nervously, a habit he does when he is uncertain about something. Taehyung catches on to his husband’s unease quickly, and so he climbs onto the bed and motions Namjoon to come. 

“Hey, what’s wrong hyung? We can start relaxing or cuddling right away.” 

Namjoon stays where he is, eyes peering down to the floor. Taehyung starts to get anxious too. 

Then, Namjoon mumbles, “I… We… We haven’t done anything sexual in a while right?” 

Taehyung’s brain short circuits for a second. Taehyung mentally slaps himself to get back to reality and tries to stutter out a response, “We blew each other earlier this week, hyung.” Taehyung should feel embarrassed with the words he just blurted, but he was more worried than feeling embarrassed right now. 

Namjoon’s cheeks turn pink. “I guess. Still. I-I  feel like we haven’t really gotten the time to really get intimate with each other, you know? It’s partially my fault with how busy I’ve been, and I didn’t mean for us to fall behind in our sex life. So I kinda prepped myself while showering so if you aren’t too tired or something…” 

Taehyung knows how selfish he would be to take Namjoon right now. He had Jimin inside him hours ago, and this would be the fastest time between sex with Jimin and sex with his husband. 

But that doesn’t stop Taehyung from jumping out of bed walking right up in Namjoon’s space. How can Taehyung possibly turn away from his beautiful husband, opening him up so nicely for him? 

This may also be the last time he can Namjoon like this anyway. 

Taehyung guides Namjoon’s hands onto his hips and leans in to initiate a deep, sensual kiss. Namjoon sighs into their kiss, opening his mouth and battling with Taehyung’s own tongue. The kiss gets instantly heated. Taehyung falls on the bed, back first, pulling Namjoon’s waist against his. 

In a low voice, he tells his husband, “How can I deny my husband? Come, take me hyung. Take what’s yours.” How hypocritical of Taehyung for saying these words to the unaware Namjoon. 

Namjoon swallows, and his eyes darken. Caging Taehyung between his elbows, Namjoon claims Taehyung’s lips, stealing his breath over and over again. Taehyung moans sweetly underneath, pulling their bodies together as close as possible. They lick, suck, and gently bite onto each other’s lips, tasting every inch of each other as much as they can. 

Taehyung breaks their kiss, breaking the strand of saliva between them with a swipe of his tongue. Namjoon whines a little, but Taehyung only smiles. 

“Can I remove your robe, hyung?” Namjoon wordlessly nods, and Taehyung gently unties Namjoon’s bathrobe. Taehyung sucks in his breath when the fluffy cloth falls down from Namjoon’s shoulders, revealing his husband’s sun-baked skin and glorious body that he had been blessed with in claiming for over the last 8 years. 

He has lost all right to worship Namjoon’s body now, but he can’t help but want, want, want to continue worshipping the beauty in front of him until the very end. 

“So beautiful,” Taehyung whispers, hands gliding down Namjoon’s naked sides. Namjoon shivers, his shaky fingers unbuttoning Taehyung’s own shirt. 

“Am I really?” Namjoon asks in a small voice. Now that stung. More than anything else that has happened, Namjoon’s doubt for his own beauty hurts to the core. Taehyung swallows down his tears, the ball of shame rising up to his throat, and the self-hatred crawling out of his sternum. 

“The most beautiful, my love. Never forget that. You're the most beautiful person I have ever seen.” Namjoon finally giggles, sending Taehyung warmth to his cold, cold heart. 

Eyes gazing deeply into his own, Taehyung squeezes onto Namjoon’s thighs when he whispers, “Then show me. Make me feel that way. I want to feel beautiful.” Taehyung gets to work right away. He starts with Namjoon’s bare neck. Taehyung bites onto the sensitive spots of Namjoon’s neck he had memorized over the years, earning addicting moans from his husband. When he finds one of Namjoon’s favorite spots, Taehyung takes more time licking around the junction of Namjoon’s collar and bites onto it. 

Namjoon lets out a high pitch moan this time, and Taehyung continues to suck onto that area. Then, Taehyung proceeds downward, hands softly rubbing Namjoon’s side as his lips trail down to Namjoon’s dark, perky nipples. The younger husband closes his eyes and takes one bud to his mouth and tweaks the other with his hand. Namjoon lets out a gasp. Hands come around his head; Taehyung continues to suck around the bud. 

“T-tae… so good,” Namjoon whispers. Fueled by the sounds of Namjoon’s pleasure, Taehyung switches onto the other nipple, suckling on it harshly. Right now, all that matters is Namjoon. Making sure Namjoon is feeling good, feeling secure. Feeling beautiful and loved. 

He hopes whoever Namjoon's future partner is, they will make Namjoon feel loved and more beautiful than Taehyung could have ever done. 

Taehyung quickly shoves down those dismal thoughts and moves onto Namjoon’s stomach. His husband has been working out lately, and Taehyung can’t be any more attracted to his husband’s body. Drawing patterns around his husband’s rock hard abs, Namjoon tries to hold in his giggles, causing Taehyung to smile as well. 

Finally, Taehyung reaches to his husband’s glorious thighs. He takes the most time on Namjoon’s thighs, marking them everywhere to his pleasure. And that’s what he does right now, starting from the top to his inner thighs. 

By this point, Namjoon is a moaning mess, trying to whine to his husband to hurry it up. But Taehyung wants to take his time. He wants to relish every moment right now, to forever embedded this in his memory storage. As a result, he lost track of how many marks he made on Namjoon’s thighs. When Taehyhung finally looks up to see his handiwork, something gets caught on his throat. 

From the beautifully marked thighs and up to Namjoon’s panting, wrecked face, overwhelming emotions begin to suffocate him. This perfect image in front of him should have been something he would treasure forever. He could have remained perfectly happy and content with having Namjoon in front of him like this, not any other man. 

Because his words from earlier are true-- the sight of Namjoon all exposed, vulnerable, and all for Taehyung is the most breathtaking sight he has ever seen. And he is giving all this up. He will be letting go of his greatest treasure that he was blessed to find and give it away to someone that is not him. 

The reality of this is coming too soon. 

Namjoon’s cries snap him back from his anguish . “T-tae! Please touch me. Please, please, please. I need you. Your mouth, your hands, your cock, I don’t care! I just need you in me, please.” 

Because of how worked up Namjoon is right now, the elder of the two misses the lone tear slipping from the other’s eyes. Quickly wiping his eyes, Taehyung returns back to his original duty. 

Taehyung engulfs Namjoon’s pretty, pretty cock with his mouth. Namjoon lets out a squeal, and Taehyung gathers all his energy to pleasure his husband with fervor. Taehyung licks around the bulbous head, earning another cry of pleasure from Namjoon. Then, he sets a steady pace, bobbing his head back and forth. After years of practice of training to take in Namjoon’s thick and long cock, Taehyung easily swallows around the length, barely gagging when the tip touches his throat. 

“Ah! Tae, s-stop!” Taehyung immediately removes his mouth from Namjoon’s cock with a loud pop!. Namjoon, looking like he was in a trance, strokes Taehyung’s head fondly. In a soft voice, Namjoon tells him, “I want to ride you. Can we switch positions?” The two husbands reposition themselves, and after a minute of extra prepping, Namjoon slowly gets on top of Taehyung’s hips and sinks down on his length. 

Both let out a pleasured moan when Namjoon finally sinks all the way down on Taehyung’s cock. Taehyung’s head starts to spin at how tight and warm his husband feels right now. His heart was also pounding against his chest, not just from the pleasure building up in him, but the fact that it’s Namjoon that’s sitting on his cock right now. Even if this is the sight he has grown used to over the years (except recently), Namjoon never fails to look so breathtaking on top of him or below him. 

What a fool he is for losing the privilege of this sight. 

“I’m going to start moving now.” Taehyung just nods, holding onto Namjoon’s thighs tightly once Namjoon lifts himself all the way up until the tip of his cock was inside him. Then, his husband slams himself down, simultaneously earning a moan from both himself and Namjoon. Namjoon sets a steady pace, bouncing up and down on his length. 

Tears start to form in Namjoon’s eyes, and Taehyung starts to whisper praises to his hyung. “You’re doing good, hyung. Fuck, you feel so good, so perfect for me. 

“A-am I making you feel good? Do you feel good?” Namjoon asks breathlessly, shutting his eyes in pleasure as Taehyung finds the special spot inside him. Taehyung bites his tongue. Planting his feet down on the bed, Taehyung thrusts up to that spot, causing Nmajoon to pop his eyes open and let out a loud, drawn out moan. 

“The best, hyung. I feel so good. I love you, I love you.” Lies after lies. 

The bed beneath them starts to creak from their relentless pace. Namjoon’s starts to get louder and louder, and Taehyung knows that his hyung is getting close. He’s also getting close too, but then, Namjoon suddenly stops and stares down at Taehyung with pleading eyes. 

“I want to finish inside you. Can I?” Taehyung can’t say no to his husband. 

“Of course, hold on.” Taehyung gently removes Namjoon from his dick, and some of his precum drips down Namjoon’s hole. Taehyung quickly coats his two fingers with his saliva and plunges them into his own rim. Taehyung tries to hide the grimace. His hole is still a bit loose from earlier, and he hopes Namjoon doesn’t notice. 

“Wait, I can prep you---”

“It’s okay, I got it hyung. I’m almost done, just wait a few more seconds, love.” 

“That’s not enough time, Taehyungie…” 

“I want to feel the burn today, hyung. Can you give it to me?” 

This somehow convinces Namjoon. Nodding furiously, Namjoon crawls over Taehyung’s body once he removes his fingers inside of him.  Taehyung lays on his back once again, spreading his legs wide for his husband, who was nervously guiding his cock to his hole. 

“Are you sure, Tae?” 

“Yes. I’m ready, hyung.” Taehyung sighs in relief when he feels the familiar stretch around his rim when Namjoon slowly enters inside of Taehyung. This is what he should have been used to. This is something he should be solely addicted to. Not any other feeling except his husband’s hot, flesh inside him. 

“I’m not going to last long, baby,” Namjoon whispers above him, slowly rutting against his ass. 

“M-me too, hyung. Finish inside me, please.” Unlike their pace before when Namjoon was riding him, Namjoon engages in slow, punishing thrusts to Taehyung’s hole. Taehyung has his legs wrapped around Namjoon, absorbing into the feeling of just Namjoon, Namjoon, Namjoon all over him. 

It was good, almost too good. Unlike hours before with him, Taehyung’s heart is currently exploding in warmth, regret, love, and longing. Longing. That’s a feeling Taehyung hasn’t felt in a while since he first started to go on dates with Namjoon (and perhaps the time after he broke up with Jimin). 

While everything with Jimin, including sex, dynamic, and intmacy is different and unique, so is his feelings for Namjoon. Jimin may be right when he says this, one touch with Jimin sends Taehyung into a state of eureka that he and Jimin are just meant to be. They are a match made by the heavens, and neither of the two soulmates can go against that to the point that they don’t want to. 

That’s why his feelings for Jimin will never be comparable to Namjoon. Namjoon isn’t someone that Taehyung has the need to be with. Taehyung only wants to be with this gorgeous, kind, and wonderful man. Taehyung isn’t going to be just empty when he leaves Namjoon one day. He is going to be absolutely devastated, broken even. 

And Taehyung doesn’t even know if Jimin can ever fix him when that day comes. 

“Taehyung. Taehyung. Taehyung,” Namjoon suddenly babbles, getting a bit sloppy with his thrusts. Taehyung’s vision returns, and he is face to face with Namjoon’s intense gaze. Face flushed and mouth wide open, Namjoon continues to chase his pleasure while whispering the words, “I love you. I love you so much. Please… I--” 

Taehyung freely cries and comes almost too easily just from Namjoon’s desperate words. Tears roll down from his cheeks, and the younger can taste the saltiness from his tears. It only takes Namjoon two more thrusts until he is emptying inside of Taehyung. Taehyung hiccups, closing his legs around Namjoon’s body. Calming down from their high, both heave in and out steadily. Then, Namjoon’s upper body collapses on top of Taehyung, to which Taehyung mindlessly wraps his arms around his husband’s torso. They stay like this for a moment. Taehyung wishes he can stay like this forever. Underneath Namjoon’s warm body, having the right to touch him freely like this forever. 

But good things must come to an end for people like him especially. 

Namjoon lets out a soft whimper when he gently removes his softened cock from Taehyung. Taehyung, too, lets out a soft moan, pulling Namjoon on top of him once again to get another kiss. Namjoon drinks into the kiss happily. 

And so, Taehyung volunteers to clean them up, allowing Namjoon to rest comfortably on the bed. For the second time of the day, Taehyung cleans up the mess spilled on the bed from intense sex he had with two different men. Taehyung stares blankly at himself in front of the mirror when he acknowledges this disgusting fact. 

The audacity he had in making love with his husband on the very bed he had just sinned on with another man. His selfishness truly has no bounds. Does he even have the right to shed tears of the words of declaration Namjoon had blurted before his climax? 

No. 

Taehyung splashes cold water on his face. Truly, what has he become? Why can’t he be the person who truly acts upon his so-called love for his husband? 

Taehyung lets the cold water drip from his handsome face. Even with all these questions popping in his head, Taehyung already knows. He already knows all the answers and all the right choices he should have made. 

He’s just too greedy, too much of a coward to do what’s right. So that’s why, he will go back into his shared bedroom with his husband, slip into the covers next to him, and hold him in his arms as if he hadn’t been the unfaithful husband he’s become. 

As if he didn’t choose the person he needs, rather than someone he wants.

Excuses, excuses. 

It’s almost pitiful how easily Taehyung falls to his knees for Jimin with a simple wave of a finger. Even if Taehyung had a blissful night with his husband, successfully making Taehyung second-guess himself in his decision of leaving him on the long run, Taehyung is back to where he started-- being completely weak to Jimin’s touches. He’s back to being the man who can’t seem to separate himself from his destiny, also known as Park Jimin. 

Taehyung releases a breathy sigh, his shaky fingers barely holding onto Jimin’s swift hips moving up and down on his cock. On top of the exact bed he had fucked and been fucked by his husband the other night. In the same exact position he made love to Namjoon. Just like how Jimin wanted it to be. 

Jimin smirks, sinking up and down with energy that Namjoon didn't have the other night. Taehyung bites back a moan, but he couldn't take his eyes away from the ethereal beauty in front of him. 

But, the husband squeezes his shut almost in shame when Jimin whispers a taunt, “Is this how Namjoon fucked you last night? Hm? Am I successfully getting rid of the image of your husband bouncing on your thick cock the other night?” 

You can never. 

The words never come, and instead, Taehyung croaks, “P-please.” Taehyung doesn’t know what he’s asking for at this point. Jimin is already going at a fast pace thanks to his dancer body and endurance. He doesn’t know if he wants him to stop. 

He’s confused. His body is loving every second of what Jimin is doing, but his heart is clenching in pain at every word Jimin is spewing. It’s maddening how much his body and inner thoughts conflicted. He just can’t seem to make a firm choice. 

And so, Jimin continues to slam himself on Taehyung again and again, spurring a long, loud moan from Taehyung. His cock twitches when Jimin clenches purposefully. Jimin knows Taehyung too well, and admittedly, Jimin is probably the only person who knows his body and mind inside out. No one else in this world. 

Only a minute later, Taehyung’s vision explodes in color, and he climaxes inside Jimin. Jimin, too, draws out a moan, come spurting from his cock. 

Taehyung leans back against the headrest, feeling his heart rate fluctuating from the intense climax he just went through. But Jimin isn’t done yet. 

Cupping his soulmate’s face and forcing him to look into his eyes, Jimin grabs Taehyung’s attention. “Hey.” Taehyung's eyes flutter open, returning Jimin’s gaze. Jimin closes the gap and kisses his lips sweetly. Taehyung kisses back languidly, shivering from the tingling sensation Jimin has left on his lips. 

His heart rate spikes in turmoil when Jimin utters out the words, “I love you, Taehyung. I love you, I love you so much. Please pick me.” Taehyung's eyes are probably as wide as saucers, and his grip on Jimin’s waist tightens. 

“Min…” 

“I know we talked about this before, but I want to tell you again and again that I regret so much for leaving you. You are my one and only, Taehyung. I was a fool to let my soulmate slip from my fingers like that. No matter who I tried to find to fill in the gap in my heart from losing you, I just couldn’t do it. We are meant to be, Tae. No one can be with us, we only belong to each other. You still believe that, right?” 

Taehyung's head begins to throb, unable to process the L word Jimin had just uttered and his intentions behind. His head was spinning too much, and Jimin wasn’t in any better state, growing desperate from Taehyung’s constant push and pull in their relationship. Taehyung also hates how he is playing puppet with Jimin’s heart. Although both knew that it will always be them in the end, the process to this end result doesn’t have to be this agonizing. It’s all within Taehyung’s power now to take on the path that has been laid out to him, and that is to be with Jimin. 

Yet, the heart inside Taehyung’s chest is beating for someone else entirely. 

Taehyung wordlessly removes himself from Jimin and puts his clothes on to cover his shame. He doesn’t have to see what’s behind him to know that Jimin is close to breaking into tears. 

So, just as Jimin begins to exit the house, Jimin leaves his final message, “Come to me whenever you’re ready. But don’t stretch this any longer than it should. Think about me. Think about Namjoon hyung. Set him free.” 

As much as Taehyung wants to throw a fit of rage for Jimin’s harsh words, he knows that his soulmate is right. In actuality, Namjoon has yet to be freed from his and Jimin’s chained fate. And it’s all because of Taehyung’s pure greed. 

Taehyung becomes sick after that. He is physically sick, catching a slight cold just from undergoing mental stress. Though he hates being sick, this event becomes a blessing in disguise. 

Namjoon stays home for him in the next few days. He’s able to physically stay distant from Jimin in those three days. And Taehyung finally comes to a conclusion in his disarray of emotions. 

Taehyung loves Namjoon. He can easily let the L word stumble out from his mouth from the littlest things Namjoon does. Namjoon smiles, and Taehyung loves him and wants to say it out to the world he loves him. Namjoon quietly reads a book next to him, and Taehyung will throw a barrage of “I love yous,” to the elder. Even when Namjoon throws a book at him to tell him to shut up, Taehyung will throw another “I love you” in spite, just to see the tips of Namjoon’s ears turn red. 

“A sick person shouldn’t talk this much. Shut your mouth and rest,” Namjoon says with no bite. 

“I love you hyung,” Taehyung says again with a grin. His cheeks were stinging from how wide he’s smiling, but he couldn’t help it. His heart is bursting with love and pain.  This is probably what love is. It’s so overwhelming, overlapping the lines between happiness and woe. Namjoon groans, but Taehyung can see the corners of Namjoon’s lips curve ever so slightly. 

“Why are you so cheesy when you have a cold? I swear, if you say that one more time, I’m going to kiss you.” Taehyung shuts up this time, not wanting Namjoon to catch his cold. Namjoon smirks in victory. “Thought so. Now go to sleep, baby. You need it.” 

Taehyung loves Namjoon no matter the circumstance, time, or state. His heart is full of love even when Namjoon presents him burnt rice and soup in an attempt to cook him his dinner with a sheepish smile. He still eats it whole-heartedly anyway. 

When the night falls and he’s about to enter dreamland, Taehyung’s last thought and feeling are Namjoon and how he loves him. When the morning rises and brings him back to the real world, he feels love the very second his eyes open to see the sleeping Namjoon next to him. 

To Taehyung, this is love. At least, this is what true love is to normal, good people, unlike him. Taehyung is not capable of giving love properly to someone he claims to truly love. He is a lost cause, unable to escape the imprisonment of another type of love he has with someone he came to only know as his one “love” in this vast universe. 

Does it make sense? No one has to understand, but only he and Jimin do. Taehyung can only pray that Namjoon will at least understand partially one day, but he by no means expects Namjoon to. So, he will selfishly take what he can with the little time he has left now.

Taehyung and Jimin meet up at their favorite bakery shop a week later. It’s been only a week, yet, the two crash into each other’s arms as if they have been separated for years. Jimin particularly clings his arms around Taehyung’s neck like the other would disappear all of the sudden. 

“Taehyung, please. I can’t do this anymore. You have to tell me this now. Do you want to leave me? Do you really want to be with him that badly? I can handle you loving him, Tae. I can cause I know that I’m still in your heart. But I can’t do this if you want to get rid of me.” 

Taehyung sneaks an arm around Jimin’s waist and squeezes their bodies together. With a firm look on his face, Taehyung answers his soulmate, “I love you Jimin-ah. You know I do. That’s all I came to know ever since I was young and until I became a naive adult. The only thing I was taught, that I came to understand for certain, is you. I had no other choice.” 

Hope gleams in Jimin’s eyes. They are standing outside the bakery shop, but the two soulmates couldn’t hear, see, nor feel the rest of the passersby going in and out of the shop, pushing past them through the straights, or the cars zooming by them. It’s only them in their bubble. 

Taehyung prepared for the next part of his confession. He was about to confess, “But I was able to be happy and live without you when you left me. I was a walking, soulless zombie for the longest time until I met him. Until I met someone who changed everything. I came to learn the real meaning of love, and I was able to escape our tied fate. I fell in love with Namjoon. And if I leave him, there’s nothing you can do to fix me. I won't be empty like I was when you were gone. I will be broken. You broke me.” 

What he doesn’t expect is Jimin suddenly pulling his head towards his face. Taehyung’s heart skips a beat when his face is up close to Jimin’s gorgeous eyes and pretty pink lips. As if Jimin knew what he was going to say beforehand, Jimin whispers in a shaky, desperate voice, “Kiss me. Remember who you belong to. Remember our destiny.” 

The same, buzzing sensation returns to Taehyung’s head. It’s as if his mind went blank, and his eyes are trained on the delectable lips that belong to his soulmate. Again and again, Taehyung can’t seem to get out of this trance, this refusal to resist everything he has previously believed. 

This was the exact same trial he faced all those months ago before he lost everything. The very moment Jimin offered himself and his red apple, Taehyung knew he lost. The reminder of how he and Jimin’s love were made under the stars was all it took for Taehyung to return back to the world he truly belongs. 

Taehyung finally surrenders. He can no longer run away anymore, no longer wanting to struggle any longer to go back to the surface of the ocean when he’s already in the trenches. A tear escapes his eyes when Taehyung leans in, and he seals his fate once his and Jiimin’s soft lips connect. 

The spark ignites between them, and Taehyung can hear the universe’s calling again. His head gets clouded once again, only filled with thoughts of Jimin. Jimin. His everything…  

“What the fuck.” 

And thus, Taehyung’s nightmare officially begins. 

The guilty husband whirls around so fast, not noticing how forcefully he pushes Jimin away. Taehyung’s heart stops, and the sickly feeling inside his gut explodes. 

Standing in front of him is a deadly handsome man, who looks like he’s at a brink of outrage. Face flushed in anger and fist shaking in the air, Kim Seokjin, the soloist Namjoon worked with last year, glares straight into Taehyung’s eyes. 

No. This isn’t how it’s supposed to end. 

“Wait, this isn’t--” Taehyung doesn’t see it coming at all. He completely misses the fist flying right to his face, causing gasps and screams of shock nearby. 

“Taehyung! Oh my god!” 

“Fuck you!” Seokjin screams, uncaring about the bystanders whipping out their phones when they realize that it was the infamous Kim Seokjin that just threw a punch at a completely random person.

Taehyung doesn’t even feel the pain from the punch he just received. Despite the blood trickling from his nose, Taehyung’s head was throbbing like crazy from the horrifying realization that Namjoon is going to find out. 

Namjoon is going to hear of his sins through someone else’s mouth. 

That gets Taehyung on his feet and shamelessly grabbing onto Seokjin’s coat, who already has his phone out to his ear. 

“FUCK, SEOKJIN, PLEASE DON’T! STOP, PLEASE!” Taehyung begs pathetically, tears already streaming out from his eyes. No, no, no, no. Taehyung screeches internally. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. He wants more time. He wants to end this as painlessly as he can. He can’t have Namjoon find out like this. 

Taehyung receives another blow to the face, and this time, he lands on his bottom with Jimin desperately trying to pull him up close protectively. More hushed whispers and alarm arises from the crowd surrounding them. Taehyung doesn’t give a fuck about them, only getting up to his feet again only to see Seokjin flipping a middle finger at Taehyung while running off. 

“I fucking knew it. I knew you were up to no good. I can’t fucking believe you would do this Namjoon. I hope you rot in hell, Kim Taehyung.” 

Taehyung’s body moves on its own. Pushing Jimin away and then shoving past the random bystanders out of the way, Taehyung makes a run for his car parked in the lot. Namjoon should be home right now. He told his husband earlier this morning that he was going to buy some bread. 

He can make it. He can get home just before the storm and explain everything. There is still a possibility that Taehyung can convince Namjoon that everything Seokjin is saying are all lies. He can get Namjoon to believe it. He has to. 

He ignores the pained cries from Jimin and also the annoyed remarks from people he bumps into when he tries to get his car. Hopping into the driver’s seat, he hastily fastens his seatbelt and turns on the engine. With nothing but desperation driving him, Taehyung speeds away from the scene to get to his home. 

The home that is about to be destroyed along with Taehyung’s heart. 

Taehyung will most likely get chased down by the police in the near future with how much he sped down the highway if anyone kept tabs on him along the way, but that was the least of his concerns right now. Closing the garage door behind him, Taehyung flings out from the driver’s seat and flies to the door. Sweat was pouring from his neck, but luckily, the blood from his nose and lips dried up. Who cares about that though. Who knows what Seokjin could have told Namjoon by now. 

One good thing is that Seokjin’s car is nowhere to be found in their driveway. So that means either Seokjin has told Nmajoon via phone or hasn’t told him yet. However, Taehyung doubts Seokjin has yet to tell his husband about his discovery, and it could be about time Seokjin will show up to their front door. 

He will have to fix things before that happens. 

Taehyung bursts open the door and enters the hall between the garage door and the kitchen.  Already, Taehyung’s anxiety skyrockets because of the eerie, unnatural silence. Where is Namjoon? 

“Hyung?” Taehyung calls out, slowly slipping out from the darkness of the hallway. As soon as Taehyung takes a step into the kitchen, Taehyung's anxiety starts to seep into his bones. 

It’s a mess. No, it’s completely chaos in here. Taehyung slowly turns his body around in a full circle, staring in horror at every broken glass, open drawers, and shards of every piece of furniture or decoration on the floor. 

And there he is. Taehyung chokes out a sob, his knees crashing to the messy floor. He’s too late. 

Just beside the kitchen is the dining table, where Namjoon was currently slumped on one of their dining chairs. Mountains of tissues were piled on top of the dining table, and Namjoon, in his usual work attire consisting of slacks and a dress shirt, was a complete wreck beside it. 

Eyes red and swollen, cheeks puffed up, lips cracked, and hair all tousled, Namjoon finally turns around to glare into Taehyung’s own, teary eyes. Taehyung’s heart was already been broken, but his heart completely shatters when Namjoon gives him the look of contempt, the absolute hatred drilling into his soul. 

There is a moment of complete silence. Taehyung doesn’t know what to do or say, too shocked from the destruction in this room. Did… Did Namjoon do all this? 

Then, a low, unsettling laughter reaches Taehyung’s ears. Taehyung swallows, feeling himself growing smaller and smaller when Namjoon continues to laugh half-heartedly while standing up from the table. And Taehyung sees the scratches and splash of blood all over Namjoon’s hands. 

Oh. He’s hurt. He hurt himself. Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut, letting the tears flow down from his eyes. 

“Look Taehyung. Look. Look at this mess. Damn, the bill is going to be a bitch.” Please stop.

“Hyung--” 

“Oh don’t worry. I’m not that much of a monster to go ahead and smash some of your stuff in your studio. Don’t worry, everything there is left untouched. But man, that felt good. Just swinging wildly at every vase and chinaware we bought together. Can’t believe I turned out to be like this.” 

“Please hyung--” Taehyung jumps up to his feet in alarm when he hears a loud thump! Without thinking, Taehyung rushes to Namjoon’s side, who has his entire body bent over the ground, shaking a bit too viciously for Taehyung's comfort. An ugly sob escapes Namjoon’s throat, and Taehyung bursts. “Oh hyung, are you alright--” 

“DON’T FUCKING COME NEAR ME.” Taehyung’s hand hovers in the air just before he could reach over Namjoon’s shoulder. The younger’s entire body grows cold when Namjoon snaps his head back up, fat tears rolling down his pretty eyes. Namjoon’s upper body was shuddering so much, and Taehyung wanted nothing but to hold him tightly right now. 

But he will never get the chance ever again. 

“Stay away! I don’t want you anywhere near me and if so you dare to touch me I’ll…. I’ll… I will want to hurt you.” If that isn’t the bucket of cold water that wakes Taehyung up from this harsh reality, then he will be numb too soon. Taehyung whimpers out a sob, retracting his hand back while Namjoon’s wails grew louder. 

The elder scoots away from Taehyung, hugging his upper body to himself and curling himself next to the chair. The sounds of his cries grow violent, and Taehyung can only sit there and watch the love of his life breaking down hysterically. 

Bravely, Taehyung tries again. “Hyung, please. I’m… You can never---” 

A loud crash shuts Taehyung up. Taehyung’s eyes grew unnaturally wide, completely stunned and almost scared. Namjoon just threw a book at one of their vases still intact. But now, that vase joins along with the piles of other crushed glass on the floor. 

Namjoon lets out a blood curdling scream, pulling his brown strands of hair in distress. Taehyung can’t help but weep along. What had they become? 

“You made me like this.” Taehyung lets out a pitiful whimper. The younger shuts his eyes when Namjoon yells again, voice uncharacteristically loud and threatening. “YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS! I… I hate it!” Namjoon is right. This is all Taehyung’s fault. Namjoon didn’t do any of this destruction, but it was Taehyung who did. Taehyung caused this mess. Taehyung made Namjoon into a monster he would and should never be. It’s all Taehyung, not Namjoon. 

Namjoon cries and cries, mourning at the loss of his typical composure and controlled emotions. 

“Hyung, look at me. Please, look at me.” Even if Namjoon doesn’t listen, Taehyung doesn’t stop. “You didn't do this. I promise, baby. It’s all me. All me, you did nothing wrong. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for making you be like this. It’s me, everything is on me, hyung. So please...” Taehyung chokes midway, but holds himself together. “So please don’t hurt yourself. Hurt me. I’m the one who did all this. You can hurt me.” 

The sounds of Namjoon’s sobs grow louder much to Taehyung’s dismay. But luckily, he stops pulling his hair and picking up broken pieces of glasses that cut his flesh along the way. That’s good enough for Taehyung for now. 

Before Taehyung could voice out his jumbled mess of thoughts, Namjoon growls at him, “Don’t ever call me that ever again. In fact, I want you to get out now. Why the fuck are you here? Get the fuck out and never show yourself to me ever again.” 

“No, no, no, no, hyung. Please, let me explain. Please I swear it’s not--” 

“YOU CHEATED ON ME. YOU BROKE OUR MARRIAGE. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO DO NOW?!” 

Taehyung’s heart is bleeding to the max. He already feels like he couldn’t breathe, feeling the absolute despair coming so close to him the moment his and Namjoon’s string rips. But he can still… 

“Hyung, please listen to me. Don’t listen to what Seokjin hyung said--” 

“I don’t fucking need Seokjin hyung’s confirmation when I found this inside your pillow case after I began digging around our bedroom.” Namjoon angrily throws a crumpled ball of paper at Taehyung. Taehyung unwraps the paper to see what was inside, and he bursts into tears. 

It’s a message from Jimin on one of the nights they fucked in their bedroom. 

“‘Don’t miss my cock too much, baby’?! You fucked him on our bed?! What the actual fuck!” There’s no way Taehyung can bring it back together with how explicit and clear this message implies. 

He has no way out of this. There is no way Namjoon can be convinced otherwise. He lost everything. 

And so, Taehyung’s eyes turn empty and defeated. He remains still as Namjoon starts to sob even more, hands covering his blotchy eyes. This honestly feels like death to Taehyung hearing the devastating sounds of Namjoon’s distress. This was all caused by him, and Taehyung did nothing to stop or at least alleviate it. 

He is the monster. The monster who took all of Namjoon’s innocence and happiness. 

After a couple of fits of sobs, Namjoon starts to grow quieter. Taehyung stares into the abyss, just waiting for his inevitable end. Namjoon removes his hands from his face, and starts gazing something up ahead. 

Another heartless laugh bubbles from the elder. “I should have known. I always had this weird feeling ever since he showed up. I even asked and questioned you, to others, and even to him. You guys completely fooled me. Congratulations. Was it fun playing me and tossing me around like some doll?” 

There goes another arrow through Taehyung’s heart. Taehyung furiously shakes his head, but he couldn’t bring himself to make a noise of protest. He feels like he lost his voice. 

“You fucking asshole. I can’t believe you would tell me all those lies these past 8 years, pretending to love me, pretending I was the one, and then going so far as to marry me for the fun of it only to run back to your ‘soulmate’ once he suddenly shows up out of nowhere.” Fuck, no. No, please, God no. Anything but this. 

The worst thing Taehyung could ask for is Namjoon believing that Taehyung never loved him, when that is far above the truth. Namjoon can despise him now, can regret marrying him even, but to believe that he never loved him in the first place? That hurts more than Taehyung can handle. 

“Hyung, no! Please don’t say that. I never wanted to play you, I love--” 

“Don’t fucking dare finish that sentence Kim Taehyung. I swear to fucking God…” The daggers Namjoon is sending at Taehyung were too much to bear, so he tosses his head to the side to avoid them. He doesn’t want to remember Namjoon’s eyes like this, so cold, hateful, and despairing. 

If Taehyung isn’t allowed to say ‘I love you’ again, then he should at least say these three words as much as he can. “I am sorry.” Namjoon only scoffs in disbelief. Taehyung's trembling lips wouldn’t stop however. “I’m so sorry, really, I am. You don’t deserve any of this, and I’m so sorry I couldn’t be the better man for you. I’m so selfish, I know I am. But please know that I really loved you. And I still do. I’m so sorry I’m like this. I wish I was a good person and loved you the way you deserve. I wish I didn’t have someone else inside my heart. Because it’s you who I want and always will love you. Please believe me.” And until the end, Kim Taehyung remains selfish and unreasonable. He can’t leave Namjoon without at least having the other to understand a bit of his messed up mind and how much he wants Namjoon. So, so much. 

But someone like him doesn’t deserve any of his wishes to come true. 

Namjoon chuckles darkly. “Really? You can still say that shit after what you fucking did? Who knows when you began to fuck Jimin behind my back. Maybe it started all the way in the beginning. I guess it doesn’t matter, but the fact is, you never loved me. I can’t believe I fell for your sick words all this time. Shame on me.” 

You never loved me. Is this how things will end with him and Namjoon? This horrible, horrible end with Namjoon leaving while thinking Taehyung has never thought Namjoon was his world? Even to this day, Taehyung still believes that it is only Namjoon that can occupy his heart like no other, yet Namjoon will continue to believe he was never loved? 

Serves Taehyung right. 

Then, Namjoon stands up right in front of the petrified Taehyung, who stumbles up as well. With a forced smile and tears rolling down his eyes, Namjoon holds up his left hand, and Taehyung’s eyes immediately trail towards the golden band gleaming straight at him almost mockingly. With gritted teeth, Namjoon demands, “Give me that ring. We are done.” Taehyung automatically covers his hand that was holding his own engagement ring. His heart is beating against his chest, and all he wants to burst into tears again. He knows he can’t avoid this result, but he doesn’t want to believe it. He doesn't want it to happen now. 

He selfishly wants to keep this ring, as this may be one of the strongest reminders of Namjoon that he wants to keep for the rest of his sad, miserable life. Taehyung sniffles, playing around the golden band around his finger that now feels like a burning piece of metal. It’s technically Namjoon’s since it was Namjoon who proposed to him two years ago. Namjoon has all the right to take it back. 

While Taehyung agonizes silently, the younger misses the shift in Namjoon’s eyes when seeing how hesitant Taehyung is in giving back the ring. And so, Taehyung yelps when a sudden noise coming from the ground interrupts his train of thoughts. 

His eyes peer down the floor, and he gasps at the sight of Namjoon’s own ring that has dropped to the floor. Taehyung immediately looks back up to Namjoon’s unimpressed face. 

“Fine. If you want it that badly, keep both of them. I don’t want to have anything to do with them or you from now on. After we file our divorce papers, don’t talk to me, message me, or look for me. I don’t even want to hear your explanation. Just go away and be with your soulmate like you wanted. I’m fucking done.” Not even a small explanation? Taehyung bows his head low, unable to protest or say anything back. He has no right given how selfish he has been even up until now. 

“I’m sorry.” Taehyung must sound like a broken machine now, but that’s all he can do at this point. Express his sorrows, his regret, and his shame to the one he did so wrong. Out of the person he could have wronged, it had to be the one he loves most. 

Namjoon just shakes his head. His voice cracks with what he says next, voice gone from all the yelling and crying for the past few hours. “Eight years. Eight years you fooled me. Eight years I invested in someone who I thought was my own soulmate and my life partner. I loved you so fucking much. I would have done anything for you. I would have moved to another side of the country if you asked, I would have switched careers without a second thought if that’s what you wanted, I would have swam oceans for you. I trusted you, and I’m such a fool for ever believing all the times you told me that you loved me and that I was your only one. You always had someone else, and that person always had you. And here is me, stupidly thinking that I was the only one you looked at. While I would take a bullet for you, you would leave me to bleed and then run to him.” 

Namjoon’s face scrunches in pain when Taehyung wails again, Namjoon’s words carving into his already bleeding heart. 

“No… I… I’m so fucking sorry. I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I…  “ Taehyung hiccups, unable to make out his sentences of despair. It’s not just Namjoon’s misguided thoughts of Taehyung’s love for him, but he now has the gist of how much pain he has inflicted on Namjoon that will probably linger for a long time. He really left scars, and he will have to pray to some God he doesn’t really believe in that one day those scars get healed. Whether it be someone else or through Namjoon’s sheer strength, Taehyung just hopes that they will go away. 

While Taehyung blubbers pathetically on the floor, Namjoon disappears into their room to grab for what seems like a large luggage that had been packed in a rush. Oh god. It’s really happening. Namjoon is leaving him… 

And almost amusingly, Namjoon leaves him with a scar of his own that will probably never disappear.  

With one last, tearful glance back at Taehyung, Namjoon whispers, “I’m sorry for ever falling in love with you, Kim Taehyung. You’re free now I guess.” Those final words simultaneously disintegrate whatever pieces are left in both Taehyung and Namjoon’s hearts. The love line between them now completely fades, being swept away into the realm of non-existence. 

One completely breaks, weeping and weeping until the sun rises the next morning at the empty, broken house. The other flees from the broken house, carrying his shattered heart that will take years and years to heal with the help of a man that will show him the beauty of true love he has yet to experience. 

And that is the end of Namjoon and Taehyung’s eight year ‘relationship’, which still has gaps and holes within this tragic story. But a story can still end without having all of its issues resolved. Things don't always have or deserve a proper, conclusive closure.  

Weeks Later

As soon as the court dismisses them, Namjoon flies off from his seat and starts heading to the doors. Taehyung first bids his lawyer a farewell before hurriedly following his now ex-husband. 

During this entire process, Namjoon has refused to say any word to him much less even looking at Taehyung. Taehyung truly understands, but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. While he can’t hope to finalize things with Namjoon on good terms, he at least want to wish Namjoon well. 

That’s all. 

“Hyung,” Taehyung desperately calls, power walking through the grand hall. Namjoon ignores him, increasing the speed of his pace. That’s fine. Taehyung will just say his spiel and go on his way. 

“I love you.”  

Though the three words Taehyung desperately and selfishly wants to say to his ex-husband are at the tip of his tongue, it  would be far too cruel. And so, he holds them back. Before, he would have selfishly let them slip, but after the events from that traumatic night, Taehyung started practicing different methods to cure his selfish behavior. His first step is to think of Namjoon’s feelings first and foremost. 

So instead, Taehyung tells Namjoon in a rush, “Be safe out there, hyung. Please be healthy, and don’t forget to eat every morning before you go to work. Oh and make sure to turn off the stove every time you cook. And always be careful when using the kitchen knife. I don’t want you to get hurt, please.” Taehyung pauses, trying to catch his breath. Luckily, Namjoon slows down his pace, but his back is still turned away from Taehyung. Namjoon’s hand is just a couple feet away from his, and his own hand is itching to reach forward to grab. 

But he once again, holds back his own selfishness and stays in place even when he hears soft sniffles coming from his ex-husband. Namjoon then starts walking, even faster this time. 

Knowing that the doors are just meters away, Taehyung speeds up as well and desperately cries, “I’m so sorry again. Please be well.” The door swings open, and both Namjoon and Taehyung gasp at the person who was right in front of the doors. 

Standing with his hands on his hips was none other than Park Jimin, dazzling his grace in designer pants and striped crop top. He, too, jumps in surprise when his eyes land on Namjoon’s, who was gawking at him and standing only inches away. 

Recovering from his initial shock, Jimin shakes his head and lets out a stutter, “N-namjoon hyung…” 

Namjoon scowls, fists shaking in anger, “You two really have no shame. No wonder you guys always go back to each other.” Jimin flinches, and so does Taehyung behind them. 

Namjoon huffs, “You have some nerve to show your face in front of me, Park Jimin. God, I just can’t imagine how delighted you must feel seeing me walking out like this in humiliation. Do you guys really enjoy watching me suffer like a fool?” 

Jimin’s lips tremble as he vigorously shakes his head in protest, “No. Hyung I, no, we never wanted you to go like this. I’m so sorry that it had to be this way.” Taehyung’s vision blurs; the tears are hindering his eyesight. 

Namjoon scoffs, “Wow. I see. Well, I’m also sorry that it had to be this way too. I’m sorry that it took so long for you two to finally be together.” 

“Hyung…” This time it is Taehyung who tries to step forward. 

Namjoon doesn’t give Taehyung a chance. None at all. “Bye. Have a nice life. Do me a favor and keep me away from your twisted games. I’m done playing.” Namjoon finally glances back into Taehyung’s eyes. The tears finally fall when Namjoon turns back around and pushes past Jimin to get to the black Lamborghini car parked in front of the entrance. Seokjin was standing in front of the car, waiting patiently for Namjoon. 

Taehyung didn't realize that he was on his knees, tears streaming harder than before until he felt Jimin’s comforting arms holding around his shoulders. But he didn’t care. His eyes are only glued onto one person only, and that is Namjoon, who has made it to Seokjin’s car. 

His beautiful, kind, and loving Namjoon. Namjoon, who gave his entirety to Taehyung only. Namjoon, who reached out his hand to him first and helped him up from his lonely, dark void. Namjoon, who Taehyung has come to love and then destroy every fibre of his being. 

And the last of Taehyung’s beating heart parts from him the moment the car drives away, taking everything Taehyung has stood and cried for. 

The echoes of soft weeping can be heard all the way down to the deepest of the alleys. 

They whisper, 

Good-bye, my love. 

Thank you for everything. 

You are free now. 

Please be happy. 

I love you.