Chapter Text
The rest of the evening passes in a quick motion, so forgetful that when Hanseok finally brings himself to look up he's at home, alone and dazed. The sun has long gone to sleep, leaving him and his own thoughts alone, unnerving and eating him alive.
There he sits, leaning up on the sofa and watching as drops of water fall from his freshly washed hair, drip…drop . They fall gently to the ground, never breaking the peaceful silence.
The question that primarily plagues Hanseok's mind is why, as pricks of tears well up in his eyes. He has been staring holes into the carpet, so perplexed he scowls, laughing doubtful of himself, resounding in the stillness of the living room as a maniacal giggle turns into quiet hiccups, wiping the rest of his psychological tears away. He feels so frustrated. With the appearance of Vincenzo in his life nothing has gone according to plan.
Why can't he win once?
Why?
Was he not good enough?
Was he wrong all along?
All he wished for was to lead babel, the company he from childhood looked upon with sparkling eyes, determined to take over and make it his yet it gets crushed under the soil of Vincenzo's shoes. Like a fire ignited deep inside of him his hand trembles for something, anything to lash out his rage on but restrains himself seeing that there was nothing around his apartment to begin with. He could only cast his head down and stare blankly at the dark and dull carpet, to reflect on what he should do and what to take of this.
Seconds become minutes, and minutes become hours. The ticking of the clock is resounding when there's not even a fly flying around. Only after the moon has taken its place upon the pitch-dark sky does Hanseok finally move a muscle to show signs that he's still alive, coming to the great conclusion that It was indeed an oversight of his to meet Vincenzo. Their whole relationship was bound to fail, a mistake over another yet too blind to see it. Now, he's free, free to do anything, and free from the tight leash that kept him bound for far too long.
He has never suffered such great humiliation. He also hated himself for being weak and for his loss of power with Vincenzo, and he can't and won't forgive his actions. Not this time, not ever. Hanseok has arrived at a conclusion. He's going to fight for himself and would not associate his failure with Vincenzo.
He's going to fend off for himself.
~~
After the place was cleared out by security and left to rot as everyone scattered to get away from the putrid smell of splattered intestines, Vincenzo made his way down the stairs. The first step he took during the whole chaos and panic, resigning himself alone with his thoughts. His eyes never left the floor after Hanseok's departure. The ring is thrown somewhere in the audience and nowhere to be found.
For all he cares. He doesn't regret an ounce of his decision. It's hard to explain what he's feeling but puzzlement at the outrageous reaction is keener to what he's going through.
Vincenzo effortlessly walks around the seats, scanning around for the missing ring where Hanseok approximately flung it at. When he finds it he picks it up, still shiny and spotless even after being maliciously trampled by its owner. How ironic is it to find it still perfectly intact and glowing under the intense theater light? The letters with their initials carved inside only rest as a reminder of how they tried to imitate what was never supposed to be of their reach. To feel more human, to feel included like the rest of the society yet giving it a go hit sooner than he predicted up a wall.
Is he surprised? Not so much. A kind of indifference sets into his heart, however a sensation of hollowness also resides.
He should have just tossed it into the trash can on the way out of the venue but he couldn't bring himself to do so, pocketing it back into his trouser and exiting the big empty stage. A small part still calls out to him. Probably his heart, screaming at him as if daring him to toss it away and that if he really did, he'd regret it for life.
Vincenzo stuffs his cold hands back into the pockets of his suit, glancing up at the moon. Spontaneously, he stretches his hand in the hope to grasp the beautiful round moon.
Just like Hanseok. He wants him but he's out of his reach now, like the moon, looking so close yet so far away.
~~
Even while Hanseok initially took his law degree job as a means of spying and figuring out how to have everyone under his thumb and control them. It has since evolved into a form of torture. Being in a bad mood does not excuse him from his responsibilities or, even worse, from his job. He wants to do nothing but exercise till he is exhausted so that his mind will not have time to do its job.
The first section of the morning passes with Hanseok greeting everyone with an irresistible smile through the concern of most employees who cast him a sympathetic look out of which he feels repelled, if not nauseated. He doesn't need any compassion from people, whom he considers to be beneath him. Partly staying in his room to avoid those pathetic excuses of a human being by throwing darts across the room or working intently on a new plan, without ever so thinking about Vincenzo. It feels almost like the AirPods are going to become one with his ears since the moment he puts them on he has never taken it off unless the battery dies. Speaking of dying, the device actually ceased working. He took it off with a sigh. The ever-so-slight tranquility he had carefully built up in that one second of silence is all that it takes to shatter it, and this causes him great distress.
One look at his smart match tells him that it's just the right time to have lunch. He hardly ever visits the cafeteria, which is served only to the employees. However, it'd be strange for him to not go after showing up so to avoid their wrong assumption he stands up with a groan, taking with him the other extra set of headphones.
…
His temper has been hanging on a shaky thread for what seems like forever. A part of him feels empty and shallow. So when the one who served the portion every day went out of their way to pour more for him today his eyes twitched with disbelief.
Hanseok glances up and scoffs almost out of his lips but how could he be so rude to do so when the old man offers him a simper, having none ill intention whatsoever. "Eat well, son." It's what the man said.
His shoulder slouched down, seething at just the mere assumption that he's being pitied but thankfully it's just a wrong presumption of his.
He carefully places his own set of cutlery down while sitting at an empty table with his headphones back up. Since there is less noise from his boisterous employees in the cafeteria, the food tastes better.
The soup has a moderate flavor, at most. He always saves the finest for last, so as he carefully removed the pudding's cover, he was bumped on the shoulder, leading him to blunder and causing the lid to rip off incorrectly. He must now dip his finger inside the lid, meaning he has to dirty his fucking hands.
"Oh, apologies." Coarse and unpleasant snickers resound behind him. A corporate man smears his filth on his suit, ridiculing him with a near colleague of his, "A word of advice. The smell still hasn't come off…"
Even though they are old and wealthy and think they are humorous, they are a disgrace to his business and himself. He can't believe he let these filthy pigs work for him.
Veins almost bulge from his eye socket, staring into an unfocused point to restrain himself, to not commit something he'd regret later. No matter how much he restrains himself, that instinctual and natural part of him never died and this is the greatest opportunity to vent. He took a hesitant breath as the song reached its peak and, upon hearing their mocking laughter, turned off the headphones before very carefully taking off the food from the tray, clenching his jaw, and making his way to the bastard.
"What, you filthy—"
*SLAM* The man tumbles violently to the ground as Hanseok repetitively bashes the metallic tray on the man's bald head until the pungent smell of blood fills his nostril.
The canteen, at the horrifying sight, falls into chaos, employees back away in terror, people taking photos, and others who were visibly nauseated by the sight.
When Hanseo was warned of the circumstances it was already too late. He rushes down to find his brother back facing him, heaving up and down with blood pooling on what used to be gray marble pavement.
Hanseo doesn't know where to start. Hand fumbling to reach out and risk being one of his brother's many victims or wait it out until the man on the ground is dead for good. However, his rational side screamed at him to do something or the situation would only get worse.
"...Joon-woo?" He cautiously calls out to his Hyung, precautions and unsure of what would trigger him again.
Hanseok doesn't immediately turn around when hearing his name, because that's not his name, seemingly scorching holes on the body as unnerving silence takes over the canteen. Waiting for something, anything to break this peace.
"Apologies sir, It seems I've lost control." His brother huffs out, giving him a soft and stunning smile after cleaning the splatter or blood on his face in the meantime showing white sharp teeth and two teardrops of half-moon arching in his eyes.
Hanseo just with one glance understood what had to be done, "I want not one word out!"
His bodyguards then proceed to block the door so no one could exit.
Collective whispers of yes and cries could be heard until it goes still at the displeased grunt of annoyance from the brunet who's still very much kicking the lifeless corpses like it owns his money. No, it owes him a pudding.
"Now, disperse!" To not aggravate the situation further Hanseo escorts Hanseok out while leaving the rest to be dealt with by the two lawyers that followed the fake chairman in a hurry, watching the scene awestruck.
Behind closed doors Hanseo can finally breathe out in relief, sagging down against the door.
"...Hyung, perhaps you should take a break…" Hanseo kindly offers nothing more than a suggestion, pouring a cup of water and scurrying his way over to the side of his brother.
Hanseok lifts an eyebrow, still not having recovered from the thrill rush, staring directly into his nervous eyes. "You're ordering me?" After, he piques a corner of his lips, sneering and contemptuous.
"Of course not!" Hanseo hastily retreats, shaking his hands furiously, "I wouldn't dare, Hyung…"
Seeing his quick retreat with amusement, Hanseok's lips turn downcast, narrowing his eyes.
"Are you scared of me?" The answer might be more obvious than it's seen but he wants to hear it from Hanseo's own lips.
Hanseo firmly shakes his head, having nowhere to retreat other than to be pathetically screwed into the wall like a little lamb.
The more he resists the more Hanseok feels a burst of rage finding its way to his heart, seeing this as a challenge to his authority.
Their distance diminishes and now he's looking directly into the eyes of a beast. His shoulder shrinks and the confidence he once had vanished under the looming figure of his brother.
"ARE YOU NOW!?" Hanseo reflexively shuts his eyes at the loud scream, shrinking and trembling in fear.
His Hyung has never gone out of his way to hurt him but it appears that the conflicts really touched a nerve of his and now he's out of control, totally unleashed, and out of his mind.
After slowly opening one eye he lets out an audible gasp of shock at the visible hole next to his head.
"Are you sure?" Hanseok murmurs out in his ear, observing his reaction with interest, grazing his finger under his chin.
His legs are becoming numb, clenching the wall and cornered as he looks up at what is insanity and maliciousness toward him.
"I-I" Without even Hanseo himself realizing he stammers, just like back in the days when he was still unsure and afraid of this man but Hanseok tried, really tried to convey that brotherhood he lacked yet all that hard work just for him to tremble under the presence of his brother.
His shaky figure is noted by Hanseok, sobering up enough to realize what he's doing was equal to a wolf bullying a sheep.
"Forget it." Hanseok let out a drastic sigh, retreating his fist and like nothing ever happened he rubs his wrist while Hanseo continues to gape horrified at the hole inches away from his head.
That would be him if Hanseok hasn't decided that, as seen from their long history together, he's worth being kept alive.
It should scare him, terrify him even but his hands unconsciously grab Hanseok, anxious and nervous, "I would never be scared of Hyung!"
Perhaps their relationship is just so messed up that he oversees most details on how this is not normal. He doesn't want to be abandoned, nor wish to think of a world without his brother. His gentle but firm words and encouraging video chats are what kept him going in his darkest times under his father's inhumane care.
Hanseo really shouldn't be forgiven so easily, almost having his head blown to pieces yet he realizes has already fallen deep and in his eyes, his brother is someone he looks up to and aspires to be, someone he can rely on and nothing will ever change that.
For the first time this morning, Hanseok ultimately smiled and broke into a genuine grin, like he had been touched by his efforts and gradually calmed down.
" Still so beautifully naive, my brother ." Hanseok sighs, patting his shoulder and squeezing reassuringly, "Thank you…I guess."
Not what a normal person being grateful should say but still, the sincerity and genuineness are there so there's not much Hanseo can ask for more, grinning like the bright sun that he is and wagging his tail at his brother "praises".
~~
In the middle of his morning running errands, Vincenzo experienced repeated hallucinations of Hanseok staring at him with the same look of revulsion he had on the stage before turning around and vanishing in the Cha-young yells at him as he frowns and chases the man while the documents slip from his hand. He quickly overtakes the brunet and shouts out, "Hanseok," seizing his wrist.
Now that he has caught up, Vincenzo feels his heart leap in his chest. What ought he to do? He didn't give much thought to it. Fortunately or unfortunately, someone else quite different turns around instead of Hanseok; he immediately steps back and removes his hand to watch speechless as the other man leaves after frowning in confusion. His good manners never stopped him from uttering at least an apology but he's too stunned that for the first time ever, he got a person wrong.
Seeing how Vincenzo has no plan in returning back to her. she, of her own initiative, runs up. With her high heels, she's quickly out of breath and panting, "What's wrong?"
He spares her a side look, "Nothing," obviously it's not nothing but she eats back her words at the firm words Vincenzo is about to say after. "Let's get back to business."
~~
It was in fact not nothing because around every few minutes that pass he sees Hanseok staring at him from the corner while he was planning ahead or in other random places that remind him of the brunet but the moment he concentrates on that point, he's gone.
It's getting so bad that he's having a full-on staring contest with the Hanseok of his imagination.
It smiles at him, it gives him coy looks, and most of them all it calls out softly to him. Something the real Hanseok wouldn't do.
"Vincenzo?"
He hums in acknowledgment. However, his eyes never leave that spot where the brunet leisurely sat down and looked at him with the most breathtaking grin he has ever had the fortune of seeing in this lifetime. Truthfully, he's scared that one glance away and the man would disappear, his illusions would fade and he'd get slapped back to reality.
Nevertheless, he's left with no choice but to distort his sight when a warm and small hand comes to grip him on the shoulder in what he interprets as an act of worrying for him. "You seem to be more absentminded than usual."
"What's going on?"
Even if she stands right in front of him with the frown and pout he got used to over time, it's still not enough for him to reveal what's really in his heart. Not like she'd accept it anyway.
"Just didn't get enough sleep." He blinks, returning with a smile. "That's all."
Cha-young doesn't believe one word coming out of his mouth, urging and demanding for explanation more than usual and that's a cue for him to tactfully get out of this conversation.
"Please excuse me while I take a break." She is wistfully cut off by Vincenzo, but his charming face with that glint of gentleness in his words is always enough for her to lower her guard and allow the conversation to drop.
"Go ahead." Cha-young encourages with a fierce pat on his shoulder. Something he doesn't flinch away anymore as he got used to it over time.
Her way of acting intimately in these past few months hasn't gone unseen as well. It's just he didn't wish to even consider that type of possibility, to think Cha-young might be asking for something more than pure partnerships. Furthermore, a certain somebody who is the cause of his headache right now has been keeping him occupied from the first day he landed in Korea.
Without a second of delay, he strides out of the door, looking for that lovely, soothing breeze that would make him feel better. That lovely sunbeam and the blue sky. Reached his target. Vincenzo considers picking up his bad habit again. Smoking. He unquestionably needs a cigarette right now—No, he craves it, and just as his hands tremble to pick it up a familiar hand stops him. Looking up, he is slightly startled to see Hanseok instructing him to put the cigarette out right away with a large pout and an obvious scowl. He complied without protest, and for his efforts, he was rewarded with a lovely grin and a pull on his arms asking him where he would take him this time.
That's right, it's merely a silly hallucination. How can Hanseok still look young after all these years? How can he still retain that purity after he tramped and ruined it all? He misses him and guilt has been eating him since the second he left him back in Italy. All these internal conflicts made his own fingers quiver just slightly, pursing lips to ponder how easy it was to give up a seemingly very hard to get rid of addiction all in the name of love, and right now he just reminisced about it. That beautiful time when everything was much simpler and they understood each other and coexisted if they didn't.
"...Merda." (...Shit)
He cusses after crushing the new cigarette that barely touched his lips under his shoes, groaning out loud in frustration.
The knowledge that now Hanseok is not his and they will have nothing to do with each other places him in a state of hysteria that even he doesn't understand. It's all his heart doing yet this entire day it has proven to him time and time again that he can't live without him.
If this was only day 1 he couldn't even imagine lasting for a week. He'd have probably gone insane by that point.
Would by the end of the week he hallucinate a second Hanseok that would resolve all his sexual problems? That would be very nice.
But what can he do? He ruined it all! It was not technically his fault though. Hanseok basically asked for it. How dare he send out assassins to exterminate him? His spouse nonetheless. This is an unforgivable act. Wait, did he subconsciously still consider him as his lover? How outrageous!
More maddening is the incapability of letting out the pent-up vexation. If he smokes then I'd make him blameable. If he finds someone to spend the night with, that would be called immorality and something which he has had no interest in since the moment he laid his eyes on Hanseok. If he kills someone that'd mean going back with his words! But if he doesn't resolve this anytime soon he will explode sooner and later and come to repent his actions.
He's so conflicted, chewing his lips in stress.
…
Residents watch from afar as Vincenzo walks in a circle with a bewildered expression on. One second he's determined and then the other he's exasperated.
"It appears that our Corn Salad has finally gone crazy as well."
"Poor kid" The elderly woman tuts, followed behind by all the residents slowly agreeing. By chance, they got all the chips and drinks out…only by coincidence.
Suddenly, a familiar classic tune stops Vincenzo's overthinking. He leans toward it with his hands trembling with anticipation. His expectation rose up for nothing when the name displayed "Cha-young", visibly dropping down from the high and calmly picking up the call. Preferring to just let the other side speak their mind first he waits, and he's not left disappointed when Cha-young begins to speak, "I finally have a lead!"
"Oh?" It should have shown wonder but it didn't, left disinterested by other personal problems clogging up his mind.
"Joon-woo agreed to come by and give me the documents for the list we needed for our next plan!"
That name finally caught Vincenzo's attention, subconsciously grasped the phone, clenching it so tight that he might break the screen. " Joon-woo?"
Like a hope sparkling inside of him, he inquires about the obvious, almost like he's deprived of the intelligence he usually has with him.
"Yes, Joon-woo." Cha-young repeats, "Oh, he said he's near the plaza."
His eyes dart around, chewing his lips in worry and looking down at himself. He takes one last look at the whole pack of cigarettes before grinding it down on the soil of his shoes and lifting it up easily in the air and kicking it over to the trash can.
"Wait, I'm coming up too." He rushes up, excitement pumping up.
"No nee—" and the call was rudely hung up on her yet she didn't bat an eyelash, used to it and also giggling inside thinking the Italian man was happy to finally have a lead and get another step closer to get the sweet revenge for his father's death.
…
Since it was the only time he was accessible, Hanseok would never have chosen to step into this haunted place so late at night but the woman after countless reassurances got impatient and threatened to never talk to him again. Even more challenging was reaching a compromise. She is very adamant that they meet in Geumga plaza despite his invitation to meet somewhere else.
He could simply reject her and go on with his life. Yet he's climbing up the stairs to the first floor and walks very familiarly to the entrance of the firm. Regretting now it's too late. He sighs, knocking for politeness.
"The door is open!" With a quick tug of his tie, Hansekk prepares to polish his act and enters with a shiny smile. However, the back of the Italian man hovering over Cha-young is what welcomes him adamantly.
No respect for his presence whatsoever other than a lazy hum of his arrival even after he poured his all to appear presentable.
Hanseok's smile plummets after seeing how he has been tricked. The corner of his lips falters, barely able to keep a straight face in front of not only the woman who's completely clueless about his abnormal reaction but after, she turns around from their ambiguous proximity and ushers her ex-hoobae to come closer. Nonetheless, to keep his perfect dazzling and clumsy attitude he hesitates just for a second, dawdling if it's worth taking that step or if he should just make a sprint for it but since he was already here he might as well get the job done.
However, he's stopped in his tracks by the voice that gave him comfort but now is like countless needles piercing through his heart.
"Where's the ring?" Cha-young, ignorant and unmindful of the tense atmosphere is able to obtain the attention of both men in the room. One stupefied the other dumbfounded.
"Did you get a divorce?" She smirks jokingly. Only wishing to mess with her ex-hoobae, presuming he put it away inside his pockets like always, keeping probing on the matter. "What a pity. I never got to meet your other correspondence."
When she finishes and really discerns closely Joon-woo is not laughing at all like every insensitive and snarky joke she made, scowling instead in mockery and frowning down at her with his hand clenched to the side. His mask slips for one second. Her smile instantly drops. She failed to lighten up the circumstances.
She wants to sputter out an apology, anything to make the man feel better but Hanseok beats her to it.
"Sunbaenim…" Joon-woo hardly is able to mutter as softly as he can through gritted teeth. It's not a puppy threatening her while whimpering but standing in front of her is a wolf baring its sharp teeth, deterring her to keep her pretty mouth shut.
After a moment of delay and disruption which was not delightful for him with an impeccable smile, he saunters up to Cha-young and hands in the documents. Somewhat in distaste. The question about the whereabouts of the ring probably touched a nerve there.
"Here's the file you asked me for, sunbaenim. While I would love to keep you company," His eyes cross through her, "l still have some urgent matters to finish so I'll be taking my leave then." He bows half-apologetic. All while under the scorching, almost burning gaze of Vincenzo.
Joon-woo swiftly jumps to keep the laces of his backpack on. With indifference prepares to leave which doesn't sit right with her. "Wait," She grabs him by the sleeves, seizing him by surprise.
Hanseok turns around to witness what he never thought he'd see. A very reluctant apology came out from the lips of the woman he once wished to rule the world with. "I'm sorry, it was not my intention to pour…that on you."
She falls in trepidation when her ex-hoobae provides no answer or reaction whatsoever. After her little stunt, it might be hard to forgive so she's prepared for rejection, biting her lips to restrain herself from cracking jokes and making this worse. Since they first met, he never gave Joon-woo an ounce of thought and always assumed which was selfish of her. Furthermore, his feelings were never put into question so most times she can only go off on the supposition she made of him. Anyhow, putting his stupidity aside he's quite nice to get along with. Pretty face, stylish, and very tall that can give most people a sense of ease. If not for meeting Vincenzo at the same time she'd have given in sooner or later to this prepossessing intern.
Joon-woo stares at her blankly before offering a light grin, "Don't worry."
It's not a definitive answer. Purposely avoiding the question. She knows it. He knows it as well. Would be very silly of her to think that the person who used to have such a crush on her would endorse and accept her actions. In effect, in these past few weeks, she has not been in much contact with the man so it's bound to fall out.
How should she interpret this…She's kind of disappointed? Even though she was not outright rejected, her good intentions are for the first time seen with refusal. It makes her feel even more guilty to the point of subconsciously gripping the sleeves from the anxiousness of losing Joon-woo.
She may seem cold-hearted but she always regarded Joon-woo as someone more than a simple colleague. A friend or a young brother who knows no good. Now, he lost that undevoted trust in her.
Hanseok, watching with mild interest at how hard the woman is frowning, his icy heart melts. The prey might still be edible . It's what the brunet thought, trying to soothe her, gently nudging her off to peel the hands that have been wrinkling his expensive white shirt. Additionally, out of nowhere, Vincenzo breaks them apart by pushing Cha-young close to his chest, protecting her like a bear cub. "How kind of him, though, we have been wasting enough of Lawyer Jang's time."
Hanseok takes a polite step back, hands in the air, and barely twitches with astonishment, suppressing it easily then, with a fine and delicate leisure grin.
Putting on a fake smile he could only laugh incredulously, "I see."
"Please," Vincenzo motions with a gentlemanly gesture to the door, "I'll not be sending Lawyer Jang off then."
Watching them so close, hugging each other brings a strange itch to Hanseok's knuckles. To the point of scrabbling at it with his thumbs. They're undoubtedly perfect for each other. No tension and no fights. One a fighter the other their protector under shining armor. A good balance of shield and spear. While both spears, like a match between him and Vincenzo, will only end up burning each other out.
He laughs, quite a liberating one, an action that seems to catch Vincenzo off-guard. For some reason, a second of panic sets in the Italian man before returning to his usual self. Being very curious he unconsciously walks up but gets stopped by Cha-young who has red ears and cheeks, frantically pushing him out of the door and with a last apologetic smile closes the door.
Hanseok is dazed. Awkwardly standing in front of the door waiting for something to happen but nothing does. He could hear whispers behind. However, he's not in the mood to listen to them.
Without dawdling any longer he bumps over the residents that were in the way. Normally, he'd have apologized and offered a well-constructed smile to show his sincerity but right now he needs to get away, as far away as he possibly can. He storms off, fist clenched tight around his sides, searching for an escape route, a quick vent or he'll really do some irreparable damage.
He sprints up the stairs followed closely behind by the residents who peek inquisitively but not fast enough as the door leading to the rooftop shuts, making sure to lock it before he could finally breathe out the air that has been choking him to death, skimming through his sweating hair.
He yells when the night's chilly air embraces him. letting all the resentment, annoyance, and irritation build up over the years. Being the very definition of perfection entails restraint, which is essentially an endless form of suffering. His frenzied eyes search for something, anything to vent and so he slams repetitively on the walls, grinning like a maniac and wishing to literally open a hole in the cement. The only thing that could once have stopped him and provided him with some solace was the pain. Even though he had many limitations, he was still a living human being, but now he's numb to them. He became accustomed to that degree of pain and now nothing can stop him, making him angrier by the minute. Even after several punches, which in the past were sufficient to stop him, this time it was not enough. NOT ENOUGH.
Blood splatters across the walls till it creates a beautiful pattern that almost resembles that of a flower, a lethal one which is made with human blood and slowly oozes down from the concrete to po on the ground.
It gives him great satisfaction to see his creation. Over time calming down enough to slow down his tempo until he's left huffing and panting, dazed and without a sense of time. He may have been punching for minutes or hours. He doesn't know, nor care.
Slowly, He makes his way over to the edge of the building and sits down on the frozen ground to see the cracks that have appeared in his injured fingers and the fresh and dry blood that has spilled all over them. This used to be the hand Vincenzo once adored this hands, but now it's ruined. He used to look after it so well, meticulously taking care of it with his life. With splitters and the cold wind blowing inside the fresh wounds, it causes severe pain to his fingers. His fingers are in excruciating pain from the splitters and the chilly wind blowing inside the fresh wounds. He will get frostbite if this keeps up, but that's the least of his problems.
He observes the moon, which was alone and stunningly round in the clouds of the sky. A lone wolf like him. It stands in stark contrast to his ugly ruined hands of his. Hanseok chuckles bitterly while thinking how his hands are stained with the life of countless people, the moon remains white and pure. It gave him the illusion that, if he took good care of his hand, it might be the only part of his body that was the least sinful about his whole body but now his hands are likewise spoiled and rotten.
Vincenzo now will not want him back, he will hate him. Yes. He needs to hate him. No, I need him to hate me . To have a reason for all of these.
It's so physically draining that coincidentally he finds some alcohol right over the edge like someone has been here before him. With his detective's eyes, he can see enough bottles for two people. Another wave of bitterness hits him. Chuckling sourly and opening a cap open to drink it in one go, numbing his wounds for the moment.
His knuckles are subject to the wind of the harsh chilly night and the attack of a swarm of pigeons that flies all around him.
Hanseok tries to shake the pigeons off but no matter what he does, as commanded by a leader, one of them stands out the most. it'll always come back with a shiny item in its beak and doesn't give up easily even after repetitive use of tactics to shoo it away.
If he sways any more violently than he already is he's going to accidentally fall down so eventually, with a deep sigh he gives in half annoyed half amused how Vincenzo taught a literal pigeon to understand to some extent the human language. He snorts, opening the palm of his hands for the bird to gently land on his hand. It distinguished itself from the rest of the plain pigeons, having a blue string attached to its legs.
How amusing, just like him trying to fit into society. " You're a funny one, my friend. "
His eyes unexpectedly grow cruelly, lips curling up with an insatiable desire to strangle it and it seems the bird can read his malicious thoughts because with a quick flap of its wings it flies away after leaving the ring into his palm.
"It seems I can never get rid of you." Like a mentally ill individual. He starts to talk to the ring, "Every time I do so you appear back again."
This is not the first time he spontaneously decided to throw this ring and every emotion attached to it away. However, this is also the very first time he thoroughly has a reason to do so. So many memories, no matter whether short or long, those vivid nights shared in the passion of each other will always be the most colorful days of his life.
Now, it's meaningless to keep it around anymore…with a clink it slips down from his finger while at the same time the door of the rooftop coincidentally slams open.
He sneers inside. Nice timing .
Hanseok hears frantic panting behind him but he's in no hurry. The only moment of acknowledgment is the side glance yet that's as insulting as it is. He takes his sweet time standing up, swaying. One glance at the row of empty bottles is enough to piece together all the clues.
He has been drinking . The thought of itself irks Vincenzo more than it should. The Italian man closes his eyes to take a deep breath and tells himself to pull through this like every time. As of right now, he has no say in any action the brunet can or cannot do, he's not his anymore.
Nevertheless, his gesture is seen and confronted by Hanseok with a scoff, gazing in utter contempt like he's forcing him to stay, "Lawyer Cassano, the door is right there. No one is bullying you to stay here."
The words strike right through Vincenzo's heart like a dozen bullets hitting it right on the center of the bullseye. He tenses up, barely able to breathe before glancing up, and putting on a very amicable smile.
"I was just making sure someone found the right way to the exit." Vincenzo pauses for a second, wandering his eyes up and down as he scrutinizes him. Not the loving kind he remembers to be always reserved to him but in a superficial manner. "Just as I thought, they didn't."
They . Hanseok chuckles sourly. Glowering. They really returned to just being strangers yet when facing it face to face he's not willing to accept it, rather, too sudden for him to adapt so quickly.
Hanseok barely suppresses the snicker he has been containing inside since the moment Vincenzo said those words like it would personally injure him. amused by the harsh words yet his laughs contain repressed anger and annoyance. His fist clenched tight on his lap. At times like this, he's grateful for lacking emotions so as to not dwell on such absurd matters. Regardless, the Italian man can not only test his limits but also make him irked at such times.
Not in the mood to banter and prologue this unnecessary boring conversation, Hanseok stumbles up from the edge of the roof. Sober enough to cast him one last repulsed and fierce glance before striding past him.
Vincenzo doesn't stop him, making himself home as he has now an extra task to lead the man to the exit. Only then did he notice that the ring was nowhere in sight. Not unexpected since their fight but he made sure to give Inzaghi extra food so he could deliver it to Hanseok. Perhaps it was wrong of him to trust a bird, a mindless pigeon nonetheless. "The ring. Where's it?"
The voice halts Hanseok in his tracks, looking him in the eyes, "I threw it away."
Vincenzo blinks, "You what?" He's confounded and baffled, almost slipping out a scoff of speechlessness.
"I threw it away." Hanseok shrugs, touching his shoulder to relieve the soreness and tightness sitting on the ground gave him.
Just like he predicted, Vincenzo is startled but soon adapts back to a fierce and disappointed stare, "How unreliable of you." The asshole dares to tsk him in dissatisfaction, reprimanding him for something he clearly didn't do and he should stand up to these levels of insults?
Ha..ha…This fucking bastard. After hitting nothing but an immovable wall, his fists are itchy and they're just about ready to take on another fight. He was about to say something, grabbing him by his collar, anger, and bitterness all coming up to explode on his face and Vincenzo was visibly ready to take it but…no sound leaves his mouth. Vincenzo was left speechless as the brunet shook his head and pursed his lips before walking away silently, head held high in arrogance while also unwilling to look him in the eyes as if he had really decided to give up on him.
Has he actually given up on him? No, he can't. He won't permit it.
That idea sets Vincenzo into panic mode, without a second of hesitation he twists around to grab him by the hand, the only difference is that once smooth skin is replaced with a rough and patchy one.
Hanseok tries very hard to pull his hands away but he's never a match to Vincenzo, not when his eyes are about to scorch the bloodied palms to dust.
Vincenzo finally has enough clarity thanks to Hanseok's uncomfortable hissing to make out the still fresh oozing blood from the severe wound that looks horrifying to discover. The once clean and perfectly taken care of hands have been ruined, ruined. If untreated promptly, scars will develop. It not only angered him more but his eyes dilated and he felt he was about to explode.
Vincenzo has a strong urge to tear Hanseok apart right here and there, to break every single of his bones until he's withering under his grasp. To teach him a lesson for disobeying, to dare test him and ruin something he once admired and is now bloodied and will never be cleansed no matter how clean.
Hanseok closes his eyes reflexively, withering at the harsh grip on his wrist that has never been thin but under the calloused fingers of Vincenzo, it hurts so much.
"Let. Me. Go." He was barely able to pronounce it through gritted teeth, sweating in this cold weather.
Vincenzo merely stares at him with narrowed eyes, advising him to stop talking so much. Dare he says another word and he'd be strapped to a torture chair with a long spine piercing his heart, and the doves would be feasting on him. The hold was simply too much for him to bear, so he instinctively stiffened up his shoulders and devised a strategy, which he executed without hesitation but was intercepted before it could be fully realized.
"Ultimo avvertimento," (Last warning) Vincenzo snarls, low and menacingly in Italian. Hanseok shivers, breaking into cold sweat and pupils trembling at the recognition that Vincenzo is being genuine, so he pitifully remains pliant while the Italian man roams around, eyes examining the damage done with a look that screams he's about to burn him alive.
He closes his eyes, not up for answering Vincenzo's silent gaze, and also refuses to look up.
"Perché l'hai fatto?" (Why did you do it?) There's a glint of exasperation in Vincenzo's eyes.
"Perché?" (Why?) He continues, spitting it out almost. He's incredulous at all this, and most of all, he's in denial.
Vincenzo retaliates by yelling to gain Hanseok's attention when he doesn't receive a response, "Rispondimi!" (Answer me!)
"PERCHÉ?" (WHY?) Vincenzo grabs him by the collar, searching for clues but finds none at the indifferent scornful gaze Hanseok provides him. His hands slip down with a forceful grip from the counterpart, at loss.
"None of your fucking business Vincenzo." Being so done with the inquisitiveness, Hanseok shoves him back, creating distances between the two. "You don't get a say on how I treat and do with my body." He spits out to end it all.
Vincenzo's eyes seem to finally shift with a hint of recognition of what's about to happen. Knowing Hanseok too well for his own good, his next words are eaten back when Vincenzo seals a kiss on his mouth, effectively tearing down Hanseok's defenses for a mere second as he takes in what's currently transpiring when the long-awaited punch eventually lands on Vincenzo's face.
Problems between the two can 99% of the time be solved with violence and this instance is no exception. Violence, the only language that's practical and they are acquainted with, will eventually result from ignoring each other with neither of the two willing to wield it for the other.
Licking the bruises, the corners of Vincenzo's mouth were slightly hooked, in an arc that made people feel cold.
Hanseok saw his approaching doom, subconsciously backing away.
The fact that Vincenzo unexpectedly broke his wrist when he became so overcome with wrath suggests that neither of the two expected it to turn into a legitimate fistfight. Hanseok howls. His body instinct is telling him to immediately counterattack. He endures the pain and delivers a low kick to Vincenzo, sending them both sprawling to the ground.
Hanseok closes his eyes, prepared to take the blow of hard concrete when it never comes. When Vincenzo, the one who typically warns him when he's in serious trouble, sees him open his eyes tentatively, he gives him an unamused look.
The impact was lessened thanks to Vincenzo, who with quick reflection used his hand as a sort of shield. Hanseok is rendered baffled. This man, how could he think about his well-being when they were literally ready to go head and head with each other yet no matter what, the Italian man still put him first.
They seem to be the only people in this parallel universe as they stare at each other for what feels like a decade. It was certainly mind-opening, the way Vincenzo appears to be flustered when he extends his hand to touch his cheeks, brushing it with his thumb. Vincenzo trembles at the action and his eyes flicker shut.
Hanseok really shouldn't be here, sugarcoating and sharing a moment with Vincenzo after all the emotions he still has pent up inside.
It could have been considered lovely, with the soft moon casting light on his back and some strands on Vincenzo but gentle strokes are forced to a stop by a menacing grip on his wrist while Vincenzo slowly flutters his eyes open, seeming to have reached a conclusion which he's not really keen on finding out. The look that he only reserves for the people who he has killed as his last parting gift is directed at him.
Hanseok wails, unprepared for the sudden bite on his neck, kicking and thrashing around but his both hands are held down by the small yet strong fingers technique of Vincenzo.
"Fuck! What are you doing?!" Hanseok shouts in between gasps, looking down at the ball of hair scraping his skin until he's left to deal alone with the contorting pain.
"My thank you gift." Vincenzo licks his lips, leaving a string of saliva connected from the bite to his mouth.
This action only distorts Hanseok, who looks at him as nothing but something beneath him. Something only formed by pure lust. "Unruly dog."
Vincenzo doesn't even bat an eye at the insult, continuing on his conquest by nipping more marks to show his possessions. "This unruly dog needs to mark its territory."
Hanseok doesn't give up easily, kicking Vincenzo's lower waist consistently and never-ending, forming multiple bruises there. For one kick Vincenzo repays with a harsh bite mark, all teeth sinking on that glistening and mouth-watering neck. His rapid succession of breath is hanging on a thin thread between two mountains when the mouth suddenly decides to part from the neck and trace up with the tip of his nose, stopping his movement right on top of his exposed Adam's apple. He gulps, sweating profusely, and gives out the fighting spirit innate in him, stiff as a rock when the tongue comes out to tentatively lick it, nibbling on the thin skin before the inevitable comes, sinking his teeth on it.
His hands tightened up into fists, gritting his teeth, and could only see from the peripheral some strands of Vincenzo's hair.
"If you would only be as honest as your body." Vincenzo sighs after leaving a tooth mark, in immediate need to see Hanseok's reaction. Taking pity he releases the hands and observes every detail: Hanseok's rapid breathing, his avoidance of eyes, and the silent panting as a sigh of invitation.
"Do it."
As if thunder has struck down on Vincenzo, he watches Hanseok hide his eyes with his arm, not willing to talk anymore.
"What?" minutes of silence pass, before Vincenzo scoffs lightly, "Were you always that easy?"
Hanseok clenched his jaw. It directly hits one of his sore spots, shoving Vincenzo's face away with his other palm in annoyance, easily caught by Vincenzo who grabs his wrist and lays a lazy kiss on it.
"My love doesn't equal having sex with you." Tired, Vincenzo sighs. Other than Hanseok not comprehending how love works he also was and still is new to this sensitive topic. The man below him is his first love, the one he married and thought of a future together but other than that he's inexperienced as well. To make matters worse, they don't have the luxury of being brought up with what society considers normal. One lacks the ability to feel emotions, while the other has been dangling on life and death since childhood, becoming the notorious consigliere he is today.
When met with incompetency and worthlessness for not being perfect Vincenzo grows frustrated. That implies he needs to vent it on someone to feel better.
"I don't understand the concept of love," Hanseok mutters. Even though this should be taken for granted, Vincenzo couldn't help but be hurt by the words, scowling and angrily nipping and biting the man's neck out of frustration. Needing a way out of his stress and to reassure himself he was still his.
Years of chasing this man, years of suffering and longing just to come and destroy the very being he once declared with the earth to protect. He's just the worst. And because Vincenzo loves Hanseok so much, it bothers him so much to see him endure it, likely suffering alone and doing nothing but accepting it because he presumably believes that's how people usually express love. He loves him to bits. He prefers to see him angry but with a hint of ambiguous action that suggests he is still his rather than seeing him like this, helpless and naked.
Hanseok becomes overly sensitive as his arms are used as a kind of makeshift blindfold, twitching and trembling, biting his red lips.
Vincenzo's sadistic instinct arises at the sight. He won't allow him. His mother left him. Hanseok can't leave him. But he soon comes to reality. He gazes with saddened eyes, the way his lover wouldn't even look at him. This is his limit. With a disgruntled growl, he stops his action, feeling utterly ashamed and repulsed by himself. For taking advantage of Hanseok, for touching his body without his permission…for being a lousy husband.
Feeling no movements Hanseok finally musters up the courage to speak out, "Are you going to leave me now?" He murmurs in between hiccups, voice hoarse and likely to have been crying for a while, "why wouldn't you trust me for once?!"
At the loud accusation, Vincenzo goes rigid, rendered speechless.
"I'm so sick! I'm so fucking sick…" Hanseok ultimately openly sobs in vexation. Vincenzo made a psychopath so frustrated with himself that tears wet his arm. His love is bursting into tears because of him. It made him feel even more remorseful than ever.
Putting all their doubts, distrust, and banter aside, he stops the hands and pulls the brunet for a tight embrace. Gently, skimming through the man's hair while covering his half-naked body with his coat.
They each lie still. He was never good with words, and neither was Hanseok. Despite his best efforts, his mouth could only open and close like a fish. He eventually gave up trying and settled for hoping that his actions would convince Hanseok that regardless of his decision to leave him or not, he would always be there for him.
Hanseok rests silent, not willing to let out more embarrassing sounds, and turns into a sheltered turtle, hiding his face in the crook of his neck and continuing to suffer in silence, wetting the shirt as Vincenzo calmly pats his back, visibly upset.
Vincenzo tries his best to shelter the brunet from the harsh wind while looking forward to the conventionally beautiful neon metropolis, which is brighter than the night sky. The two of them take advantage of this brief moment of comfort by snuggling up to one another and experiencing mental serenity for the first time.
Vincenzo tenses up and frowns after realizing how much Hanseok was affected by his actions.
"May I have permission to pick you up…?" love . He omits it, for the sake of both of them. Biting his tongue to not let the intimate word slip.
Hanseok doesn't respond, nor has the force to do so. He had been nodding off for a while, and the addition of the soothing tone, which has no means of disturbing him, is enough to peacefully lull him to sleep.
Even though Vincenzo finds the entire process fascinating, he still had to prod Hanseok's damp cheeks. He then sighed since it was becoming cold and stood up while Hanseok was nestled against his chest, embarking the way to his apartment.
His eyes drift off.
~~
When he opens them again he is initially perplexed by the unfamiliar environment but startled awake when noticing Vincenzo staring down at him, perched on a chair with one leg crossed over the other.
"Woke up?" Like all the sleepiness dried up from his body, Hanseok sits up, retreating back into the wall. Why was he so afraid of Vincenzo? Or more so, his body reacted before his brain. Vincenzo only spares him an unconcerned glance before going back to doing his work, like everything that happened mere hours ago was nothing but an illusion in his mind. "Good timing, I was just about to change your bandages."
Vincenzo stares at how the brunet rubs his sore eyes. Left flustered, Hanseok could only obediently offer his hands and gaze intensely at the meticulous work of the Italian man, an awe to see every time. It's also his way of postponing their urgently needed conversation. If delaying it more than this there might not be another time to talk about it.
"...I" He hesitates, and in just that one second of uncertainty is cued by fast-thinking Vincenzo who caught on, "Don't…"
Hanseok blinks, still hunched up on the wall, and looks at him with deer eyes. How could Vincenzo resist? Shaking his head, he adds, "Don't do it again."
"Your body is valuable, Treat it with care," He completes the bandaging without ever looking Hanseok in the eyes, or being too ashamed to do so out of fear that if he did, he could lose control and sink back into despair.
"Furthermore, I don't deserve your tears," Vincenzo chuckles bitterly, closing the medical kit with a click and tucking him inside the quilts before standing up and walking away.
He halts just at the entrance, tilting his head sideways, "Let's talk this out rationally in the morning. Your body needs to rest to recover."
Hanseok tries to stop him from leaving but realizes they aren't technically a couple anymore so he buries his head under the sheets and listens with attentiveness for a beat of silence before the light goes off and Vincenzo with a soft tone wishes him goodnight before silently closing the door.
Despite the fact that Hanseok has been gravely wronged in this case, he feels like the bad guy throughout.
…
Morning comes faster than expected and Hanseok has not been catching an ounce of sleep, too alert and hopeful that perhaps Vincenzo would come to comfort him, to seek that familiarity of touching him so they can get this misunderstanding over with yet he never did. Alone in the darkness and staring at the pale, grayish ceiling, leaving him dazed.
The first peek of light appears from the curtains and he lay motionless on the mattress, listening to the sound of considerate silent steps around the house, the shower starting, pans sizzling, and the door quietly closing. All of this happened in a two-hour period. He has been keeping count in his head, having nothing better to do other than going back to overthinking or either waiting for the perfect opportunity to get out the bed.
For cautious matters, he still waits a couple of minutes before truly sitting up, stirring his sore limbs and slipping in the soft slippers left by Vincenzo for him as he expected this outcome and prepared everything of his primal necessities when he was unconscious on the bed. He shuffles out, scratching his messy hair and peeking out, there's a nice aroma of well-cooked food hitting his nose. However, no matter how hungry he still needs to shower, bare clearness is a must so ignoring the food for the time being he walks back to the closet, fishing out some clothes that look big enough for him to wear while at the same time cursing Vincenzo for only having suits or gym tracksuit, all in dark and monotone colors.
Blue, blue, black, and another shade of blue…Is there any other color other than blue?!
After ransacking and digging deeper as if it was a treasure hunt Hanseok eventually found a t-shirt and some loose pants. He had never liked tight clothes, especially if not formally required. After, he hums his way back to the bathroom and takes a nice and time-consuming shower, stepping out later refreshed and drying up his damp hair naturally with the help of a towel.
Finally, he ambles to the table but the closer he gets the more ominous feels. On the table other than the announced breakfast there was also something shocking, something he never thought he'd see in this lifetime.
The divorce documents were all laid out for him and previously signed by Vincenzo. He picks up the sticky note with wide eyes: There was an urgent matter that requires my presence so I left first but knowing you, you're going to take a shower first before you see this message. Heat up the food. I won't hold you accountable if you wish to break apart, nor will I force you to stay. Make your choice. -Vincenzo
Hanseok's shoulders tremble, holding his lips with the back of his hands—No, how could it be…?
…
How could he be so stupid ?—And let out the most satisfying and maniac cackle he has been holding for a very long time. Tears of joy spill out from his face, ending it all with a deep sigh.
"Finally." It was seriously tiring to pretend to be all fragile and miserable yesterday night, drying up his made-up tears. "Took you long enough, mafioso bastardo."
All this dedication and manipulation just to be the victim and make the Italian guilty? Even to the point of ruining his delicate skin? You bet he would. He's the type that wouldn't even bat an eye to make this all go into action because he knows no limits. Teach the smug man about messing and toying with him.
He fishes out the actual ring from his pocket. The ring, after contemplating it for much time, he decided to hide it in his pockets as one of his most prized items. In the past, he only broke bones and people but this time he broke the heart of a living human being. It was entertaining and very hilarious to do, especially for it to have gone on for years but it ultimately ended.
Hanseok never cared much about trivial matters like marrying or divorcing as he lists them only as a fun little game he can play with Vincenzo while keeping him engaged enough for the duration of this time. Hinting or making it seems that he takes their connection to be very significant. He was in reality just plotting and scheming the right moment to conclude it all and the humiliation that he had to take was just enough to make it seem all real. Frankly, he's truly mad about the pig blood, and will never recover nor forgive.
Nevertheless, that doesn't mean his feelings aren't genuine. Vincenzo did make him fascinated, stimulated enough that he'd look forward to every one of their meetings, from unnecessary cheesy dates to their now everyday banter. He enjoyed his company but Vincenzo is too dangerous to further be toyed around. Reaching blindly for the sun will sooner or later burn him. Fly too close to the sun, and you'll burn your wings. Now that little sparkle of happiness he had is about to die.
"Vincenzo, Vincenzo. How could you be so stupid?" He sings-songs a catchy tune while mocking, "To fall for my petty tricks."
"You have today as well." He seizes the documents, casting them up in the bright sunlight but well, the results aren't met.
For some reason his hands seem to waver against his conscience on signing the papers, causing him to scowl bewildered. He shakes his head to clear up his thoughts and the hesitation that he's really making this big step and that there's no going back. He breathes deeply before signing. Aftermath, instead of feeling liberated and smug about his victory he's left dazed, looking down at their two signs next to each other and what used to be marriage papers instead of divorce ones.
Even if he is unaware of any human emotions, meddling and dealing with them will only make him regret the decision he just took because all good things eventually come to an end. Furthermore, disregarding his sentiments wouldn't be a first for him. Could outrageously say he's terrified of what they will do to him.
He places the documents on the tablet after taking one final look at them while standing in the bright sun that was penetrating through the drapes. Ready to go out about his day and his next plan on how to deal with the rest of the accumulated problems Vincenzo brought him in these past few weeks when a hand slithers its way over his left shoulder and a chin softly lands on his right one, chilling words are spoken out slowly, making sure to pronounce every letter with care and precision.
"Beccato." (Caught you)
Hanseok wants to shake the man off. The hand tightens to warn him to stay still.
"Icaro volò troppo vicino al sole, almeno lui ci ha provato." (Icarus flew too close to the sun, but at least he tried.)
Vincenzo unhurriedly tells the tale of Icarus. "Per la sua ambizione l'ha pagato con la sua vita," (For his ambition, he paid it with his life)
He flutters his eyelashes up at him, "Però tu la pagherai differentemente." (But you'll pay it differently) Followed by eyeing him up and down. "O almeno che tu non voglia morire come lui." (unless you want to die like him)
Hanseok restrains shivers from going down his body, resigning to being touched and explored from his shoulder to his chin, being rudely lifted up by Vincenzo's hand on his chin. "Ma sarebbe un peccato. Ti ho giusto appena reso mio, come oserei farti del male? Mio caro?" (It'd be a shame. I just made you mine, how dare I hurt you? My dear?)
Each word Vincenzo said sends shivers down his spine. How he wishes he didn't understand Italian and was clueless to all the passive-aggressive threats. It spares him all the anticipation and dread he's currently having. He inhales. Perhaps because he is so used to getting caught he's about to come up with an elaborate excuse when his sight is abruptly taken away and a hand clamps his lips, "Don't you think you deserve some sort of... punishment?"
"For you have toyed with my feelings." Hanseok shudders, contemplating between life and death as a deadly kiss lands on his collarbone.
"I warned you, I'm not easy to get rid of." Vincenzo continues murmuring, trailing his fingers up and down. "Not when I get attached to something." Vincenzo smiles, affectionately brushing his lips from his cheeks to his neck, "in this case, someone."
"I promise to be gentle…amore."