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2021-11-01
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Kind of a Hero

Chapter 3: Kitten

Chapter Text

Kitten

Kindergarten

Buttercup's dad put a cassette into the old VCR he kept connected to the TV. He went into the kitchen while the tape rewound.

Buttercup sat on the living room floor with nothing to play with. She didn't know why she was being punished. She had already gone to the dentist to be tortured. Her teeth had grown back on their own anyway. If her dad hadn't forced her to go she could have kept all that money she got from the tooth fairy.

Buttercup's dad sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. "Honey, come up on the couch. I found a movie for us to watch."

"Do I have to?" Buttercup asked. She didn't want to watch some old boring movie. It wasn't even a DVD.

"Yes, honey. I think you'll like it."

Buttercup crossed her arms and floated onto the couch next to her dad.

On TV there were a bunch of adults talking in Japanese. There were words on the bottom, probably the English translation of whatever they were saying. Buttercup didn't care what adults usually talked about, it was all boring adult stuff, she didn't want to have to read about it too. She wasn't the best reader in the first place. Most of the kids in her class couldn't read either. Blossom was just a smarty pants.

Buttercup could hear her sisters giggling and playing in their room with all their toys. And she had to watch some boring movie. This truly was her dad's most diabolical punishment.

The scene changed. A girl about age ten hopped from rock to rock along a stream. No one was saying anything. It was kind of boring but better than adults talking about nothing.

The scene went on for a long time with nothing much happening. Out of nowhere a knife was sailing at the girl. The girl dodged the knife but slipped off the rock and into the water.

"What!?" Buttercup zipped into the air. "Is she under attack!?"

"Just watch, honey," her dad crunched on the popcorn. Buttercup reached into the bowl and took a handful.

The girl swam to shore. An older man stood above her and said something Buttercup didn't understand.

"Who is that guy? What's he saying?"

Buttercup's dad chuckled. "That's her father. He's training her to be a samurai. He's saying a warrior must be ready at all times."

Buttercup looked up at her dad. "A girl can become a samurai?"

"Of course! But she has to train hard. It takes years to build the skills."

"Wow!" Buttercup climbed into her dad's lap and held the popcorn bowl for them. "What's this movie called?"

"The English translation is 'Tiger and Kitten'. This is the third one 'The Price of Honor'. It just released on video."

Kitten slowly unsheathed her own knife. The camera zoomed in on her eyes.

Buttercup's own eyes were glued to the screen.


Fifth Grade

"Girls!" Buttercup's mom called. "Get ready! We're going shopping for winter outfits."

Blossom and Bubbles shot upstairs to get dressed in nice clothes so they could pick out other nice clothes to wear later. Buttercup settled further into the couch.

Buttercup's dad came into the living room. "Not looking forward to shopping, huh?" he asked.

Buttercup grumbled.

"I was thinking you and I could do something else." Buttercup's dad looked both ways and slipped something part-way out of his satchel. Buttercup only saw the words in red and gold 'Tiger and Kitten'. "It's the new one," he whispered.

Buttercup had to cover her mouth to scream. Her dad smiled and put a finger to his lips.

"Buttercup, you should at least wear something nice to go shopping," Blossom said, floating down into the living room wearing a pink dress.

Buttercup's mom came into the living room. She sighed when she saw Buttercup, then she tilted her head at her dad.

"Sweetheart, why don't you have a fun shopping day with the girls?" Buttercup's dad said. "Buttercup and I will hold down the fort." He winked at her.

Buttercup's mom smiled. "Of course. You two have fun."

"Wait," Blossom said. "What're-"

"Outfits! Outfits! Outfits!" Bubbles burst out of her room and careened into Blossom. "We finally get to get winter clothes! Blossom, you should get one of those coats with the fake fur. It's humane and super cute!"

"Come on, girls. The mall is only open for a few more hours." Buttercup's mom led her sisters out to the car. Bubbles danced around Blossom all the way out the door, making her forget all about her question.

The door closed. Buttercup and her dad breathed sighs of relief. He went to set up the DVD while she went to the kitchen to find a bag of popcorn. After popping it with her eyebeams she poured it in a bowl.

There was just one more thing she needed. She went to her room and got it exactly where she left it. Buttercup gave it a few swings while her dad navigated the dvd menu.

"Dad, when can I get my own katana?"

"When you're older, sweetie."

"Ugh, I don't like these wood things."

"It's called a bokken and you and your sister use them so you don't hurt each other or yourselves."

Buttercup did a few more swings like her dad had shown her. "Like real swords could hurt us."

"Your mother worries. Honestly, I shouldn't let you use these either. But you do have superpowers, so it should be okay."

They settled into the couch. Buttercup picked up the dvd case. "Oh cool! This one's called 'Tiger and Kitten: Return of the Wolf'. I wonder who Wolf is."

"We're going to find out." Her dad picked up the remote and pressed the play button. "Here we go!"


Sophomore Year

Buttercup zipped into the living room. "Dad! Dad!" she said as she bounced up and down.

Her sisters looked at her like she was crazy. Buttercup's dad looked up from his newspaper. "Yes, Buttercup?"

"Dad! Dad! Dad!" Buttercup's eyes were wide.

"Honey? What is it?"

"Dad," Buttercup finally composed herself. "'Tiger and Kitten 5' dropped today."

"Tiger and Kitten 5!?"

"Is that the series you two watch-" Bubbles asked.

"About a father-daughter samurai duo who roam Japan taking down monsters and criminals?" Buttercup finished for her. "Hell yes!"

"Honey, language please."

"What? I'm excited!" Buttercup queued the movie on the TV. "The last one came out five years ago and it ended on a crazy cliffhanger!"

"What happened?" Bubbles asked.

"Oh my god!" Buttercup said. "Where do we even start?"

"The last one was Tiger and Kitten 4: Return of the Wolf," Buttercup's dad said. "Daigoro had to fight his father, Ito."

"That's Wolf, he's Tiger's dad," Buttercup said, picking up where her dad paused. "He was the head of a criminal group and Kitten didn't want to fight him because he's family. But Tiger and Wolf knew they had to fight because honor demands it. Plus all the trauma Wolf put Tiger through when he was a kid, even though that made him the man he is. They had a showdown to see who was the better samurai. And Tiger won, so Wolf transformed into a gigantic ice wolf and Tiger and Kitten had to take him down together."

"After the battle Kaoru decided she had to go her own way," Buttercup's dad said. "But Daigoro followed her even though he knows she can take care of herself."

"Shh! Shh! It's starting!" Buttercup jumped into her dad's lap. Several Japanese characters looked like they were cut into the screen through fabric. The subtitles below read 'Tiger and Kitten 5: Tiger versus Kitten'.

"What!?" Buttercup was freaking out at the revelation.

"Wow, I wonder what could possibly make them fight."

In the movie, a group of men walked into a wooden house. Three women wearing kimonos came through a door wearing makeup and fancy clothes. The camera focused on one of their faces.

"That's Kitten!"

"Her name is Kaoru, honey."

"I like her nickname." Buttercup grumbled.

"Uh, she apparently left her father to become a geisha," Blossom said.

"No! I bet this is all to get the drop on a bad guy."

"She looks older," Bubbles said.

"Yeah, it's the same actors as always, they only make one movie every five years. She was a baby in the first one."

"Yeah, it's-" Buttercup's dad's voice caught in his throat. "The series is about a father who watches his daughter grow up."

Two men sat across from each other, staring like they hated each other. An older woman introduced Kitten and the other two geishas.

"Aww," Buttercup's dad said. "There's three of them, Momoko, Miyako, and Kaoru. Just like you girls."

The two men began talking about dishonors they had recently suffered. Each accused the other of sabotaging their criminal operations. After a tense moment that almost ended in bloodshed one suggested an outside saboteur, perhaps even affiliated with the authorities.

"Perhaps the threat is closer than you suspect," Kitten said. She and the other two geishas pulled knives out of their sleeves and cut the throats of three men. Before the last one could call out, the madam stabbed him in the chest. They managed to not get a drop of blood on their clothes and left the tea house through the back, no one the wiser as to who betrayed who.

"That was really cool," Blossom said. "Catch me up. What happened in the first movies?"

Buttercup paused the movie, she didn't want to miss a single second. "The first one is about how their family gets dishonored after everything Tiger did to get their honor back. Kitten is a baby in that one. In the second one a six-year old Kitten gets kidnapped by ninjas and Tiger has to save her. Then he gets captured and Kitten has to save him. There's a monkey guy in there somewhere, he's the one who killed Kitten's mom. Tiger starts teaching her the way of the samurai after that. In the third one Kitten is gaining samurai skills but knows nothing of honor. Tiger has to teach her. They fight a mud monster in that one so their swords and spears don't work. And I already told you about the fourth one." She pressed play again.

The scene changed to a bunch of people walking down a dirt road. Merchants sold their wares to people passing by. A few headed down an alley.

"Those people are selling guns?" Bubbles asked. "And why do they have wooden shoes?"

"They're Dutch," Blossom said. "It must be the Edo Period. They are a metaphor for the westernization of Japan. The samurai represent the old way struggling against the new."

"Very good, sweetie," Buttercup's dad said. "You're exactly right."

"Ugh, it's a samurai movie, Bloss. Stop ruining it."

"I'm not ruining it. In fact I'm rather enjoying the themes."

"It's dumb action and you're talking over it."

"Dumb action is never ruined by talking."

"Not at all. I love that you're exposed to your Japanese roots. I've neglected them for so long." Buttercup's dad puffed his chest. "You know, we have a very famous samurai in our family who fought against a great evil named A-"

"We know dad," all three girls said simultaneously.


Twenty-One

"Okay, movie night." Butch sank into the couch next to Buttercup. She leaned into him. Boomer sat on the other side of the couch. "What should we watch?" He flipped through the streaming options. One caught Buttercup's eye.

"Oh man! I used to watch this with my dad." Buttercup grabbed the remote out of Butch's hand to stop him from moving past 'Tiger and Kitten 6'. "I didn't know the sixth one came out." The streaming app said it was subtitled 'Land of the Rising Sun'. Buttercup didn't want to read the description, that would ruin the surprise.

"It looks weird," Butch said, opening a beer.

"It's from Japan."

"What? Like anime?" Boomer asked. "But live-action?"

"Yeah, you're going to love it, Boom."

"Ugh," Butch groaned. "I don't like Boomer's weird ass tentacle cartoons."

Boomer snorted. "Pretty sure you have some of those bookmarked on your laptop."

Buttercup shook her head. "It's live action and it's about a hot lady samurai."

Butch smiled. "Why didn't you say that in the first place?"

"Thought so." Buttercup pressed play and climbed into Butch's lap. He rested his hand high up on her thigh.

The movie started with the customary title screen. Buttercup shifted. Butch traced the muscles on her legs with his finger. Something was off. She looked over at Butch. He looked back at her confused.

"Aww man," Boomer said. "Dubs over subs. Subs mean you have to read and you miss all the framing and-"

"Yeah, I'm not into it." Buttercup hopped off Butch's lap and stopped the movie.

"But-" Butch reached out a hand. "Hot lady samurai."

"You guys don't even get all the backstory. All the history bullshit Blossom talks about, everything that goes into it. There are five movies you have to watch before this one."

"So it is like an anime," Boomer said.

Buttercup shook her head. "We don't even have any popcorn."

Boomer flipped through the list of movies. "How about a horror movie? Legion of the Damned is a classic."

"Hell yeah," Butch said.

"You know how you get with those," Buttercup said.

"Hey, I'm fine." Butch pointed a finger at her. "And if I'm not fine, it's because you promised me a hot lady samurai and didn't deliver."

Buttercup retrieved her sword and came back into the living room with her best resting bitch face. "Did I promise you a hot lady samurai?" She let the fact that she was wearing a loose top with no bra and her workout shorts do the rest.

Butch growled. "Yeah."

Buttercup drew her katana slowly while glaring at Butch.

Butch gave her that eager smile and flexed his muscles for her.

Buttercup jumped on him, straddling her legs around his hips, and she held her sword to his throat. His strong hands squeezed her waist.

Boomer sighed and got off the couch. "This is great. This was a great movie night, guys." He picked up his keys and left the apartment.


Thirty-One

"Ugh! Dad, I'm nervous about this one."

"Why honey?"

Buttercup brought the bowl of popcorn to the living room. Finally she could have it with as much butter as she wanted. "The last one had way too much bad CGI. It looked terrible."

"I thought it was good, a perfect metaphor for the events leading up to the Meiji Restoration."

Buttercup plopped onto the couch. "Okay fine. But the steampunk robots looked bad."

Buttercup's dad chuckled. "They did indeed."

"Remember when this series was about fighting kaiju? They haven't fought one in forever. The series is getting less and less relatable."

"Well, times do change, honey." He patted her belly.

Butch awkwardly stood near Buttercup's dad's chair. He knew better than to sit in it. "So this is like a tradition between you two?"

"Yes," Buttercup's dad said, gravely. "And only us."

Butch grumbled, flipping through his book of dad jokes.

"I'm fine, Butch. I'm knocked up, not injured. Go fuck around or something."

Butch started thinking which always meant trouble for everyone else. "Guess I could go to-"

"Now Butch, before you do anything, don't try to lift that thing in the simulator. It's too heavy for anyone to lift," Buttercup said.

"Reverse-psychology's not going to work on me." Butch crossed his arms and looked around at nothing. "Is there really a thing that's too heavy for anyone to lift?"

"Not because of its mass," Buttercup's dad said. "It uses-"

"It's too heavy," Buttercup said, cutting off her dad. "It's in the simulator."

Butch got that look in his eye. "I bet I could lift it." He hadn't known about it before Buttercup had told him.

"You absolutely cannot," Buttercup's dad said.

"Well, you don't know that it's too heavy for anyone to lift until the strongest guy in the world tries. Then you'll know."

"No. Stop. Don't." Buttercup threw a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

"Oh, I'm gonna. This is about science." He pressed the buttons to get into the lab. The 'denied' tone beeped flatly. He pressed buttons again and was denied again.

"It's the day we got married, dumbass."

Butch chuckled and keyed in the code correctly. The door opened and Butch went down the stairs.

Buttercup picked up the tablet and activated the spatial anchor her dad had invented. That would keep him busy for at least a few hours. He'd be hungry after, which worked because Buttercup was always hungry.

"You didn't actually elope without telling anyone, did you?" Buttercup's dad asked.

"No, dad. I'm not marrying that idiot. It's a joke." She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder. "His code is 0230, February 30th, a day that doesn't exist."

"That's my girl." He kissed the top of her head and pressed play.


Sixty-Three

"Hey dad." Buttercup's feet shuffled in the grass. "I know it's been a while."

The wind rustled through a nearby tree.

She took a breath. "Everyone misses you." Buttercup placed a picture of her family on the headstone. "Even Butch."

The headstone didn't respond, but she didn't expect it to.

"I was thinking we could watch Tiger and Kitten together." She laid a blanket down next to it and placed a bowl of popcorn between them. "Which one should we watch?"

A warm breeze passed over her.

"You always did love the 9th one." Buttercup loaded the movie on her tablet and got comfortable. "Wonder why."

On the screen, Kitten, now Tigress, slashed through a white sheet with her son and daughter. They reminded her so much of Bruce and Bella.

"I wonder why…"