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“Are you happy?”
Greg heard the low timber of the voice he’d grown to hear every morning and every night. It came from the dark hall which led to their shared bedroom. The detective inspector closed the front door gently and shrugged his heavy coat off his shoulders before hanging in next to Mycroft’s. He tentatively stepped towards the sound of the voice, through the darkness which enveloped their shared home.
“I know that I love you.” Greg answered, voice barely above a whisper.
“That’s not what I asked.”
“Where’s this coming from Myc?” Greg’s voice was becoming breathy and a rotten feeling was settling in his stomach.
“Are you?” his voice persisted.
“Are you?”
Greg shuffled slowly and peaked through the door frame of their bedroom. Mycroft sat on his chair, in total pitch midnight black.
“ Gregory, stop this. I asked you a question.”
“Mycro-”
“ Are. You. Happy?” He snarled, his voice no longer sounded muffled and distant, but crystal clear and piercing.
“No.”
The silence that followed was thick. It was sickeningly foreign and unwelcome. It made Greg’s skin suddenly begin to itch uncontrollably.
“Not right now, no.”
Gregory could hear Mycroft’s thoughts in the quietness of the night. Darkness dressed them both and plagued every corner of the room so that light could not create shadows and all that existed was a cloak of dullness. He could hear Mycroft’s brain working, reaching conclusions that weren’t his to create.
He isn’t happy.
I’ve made him unhappy.
He doesn’t want this anymore.
“Stop.” Greg called out, voice suddenly a bit stronger. “Stop it. It’s not true.”
Gregory reached for the lamp switch and flicked it up urgently, a flood of light emitted and warmly embraced the tiny corner of the room where Mycroft sat. The detective approached him. Greg leaned in and placed his hands over Mycroft’s on the arm rest.
“I’m not happy right now . I answered your question. I’m tired. Had a tough day at work, it's late, I didn't make it to dinner with my lover, who’s brother is an ass, and I spilled my coffee this morning, which I know you deduced two seconds after it happened even though you were in your office and I was in mine.” Gregory rambled, not irritated with Mycroft just irritated near him.
“You’ve been home late. You sleep at the edge of the bed facing away. You don’t initiate physical contact anymore. Gregory I am not stupi-”
“M’sorry I’ve been a bit distant. And late. And not doing things the way I used to.” Greg sighs and straightens up, combing his hands through his greying locks before rubbing them over his face in exhausted frustration. “Just been a bit...panicky lately...bout the wedding.”
Mycroft’s eyes widen at the revelation and Greg sees him physically retract into the chair, shielding himself from the hurt he anticipates will proceed.
“Not because I don’t want to, love...or because I don’t love you I just…”
“It's alright to be honest Gregory, I understand if you have come to your senses and desire to call the whole arrangement off.”
Greg groans “Is not that, love.”
The detective inspector slides down on the chair, half on Mycroft and half squished against the armrest. Mycroft tenses and Greg feels his heart tighten. He has frightened the Holmes. Gently he leaned and rested his head on Mycroft’s shoulder, a soft sigh escaping his parted lips.
“I wanna marry you so bad.” He breathes out after a long moment. Mycroft’s tension doesn't ease against him and Greg finds himself determined to bring his lover back around to him. Come back. “I wanted to marry you the moment I realized I was fucking freefalling in love with you. I wanted to the day you asked me...I was so shocked.” Greg chuckles softly and hides his face in Mycroft’s neck, tickling the hot skin with his breath.
“Didn’t think you would take a...husband. Let alone be the one to propose such a thing. Down on one knee....Mycroft Holmes? For me? A no one? Dirtying his posh trousers on the peasants ground? Wish there’d been a camera to capture that.” Greg lets out an airy laugh “I swear my heart imploded...can’t believe I’m in only one in this planet whom you’d do that for...Fuck baby, the way you looked at the that day. I was a goner for you long ago but… that day you made it feel like the first time.”
Slowly Mycroft eases in the chair and Greg wraps an arm around his waist, curling more onto the Holmes and off the couch. He smiled against his neck. “There’s nothing that I want more in this world than to devote my love to you forever. I do. I just…”
“What?” Mycroft whispers.
“I don’t wanna mess it up.” Gregory concluded dejectedly. Memories of an unhappy marriage plaguing his mind, images of his painful divorce left a sour taste in his mouth still. He’d hurt so much then. To be tied to marriage where there was no love. Where there hadn’t ever been love like the way he’d felt with Mycroft. A shudder ran down his spine. “I know it's in no way the same situation. I’m so in love with you babe, I see us grey and old later on. Wanna be there with you. I haven’t seen myself with someone like that in... ever. My one. Mycroft. I want it to work so much... I...I…”
Mycroft runs a hand down Greg’s back and pulls him closer, comforting but not interrupting. A patient lover. A kind lover. The detective inspector smiles, “I couldn’t live this life anymore if I ever failed us...I wish to be the man you deserve. The man you see when you look at me like that. Sometimes...Mycroft....don’t you feel I’m not the man you need?”
“That thought has never entered my mind.” Mycroft replies without hesitation. “You should’ve...expressed such insecurities with me earlier Gregory.” the Holmes shifts, opening his legs so Greg can prop his inbetween more comfortably. “Sometimes I think I’m the one who will fail you. I’ve never “ done” relationships Gregory...I’ve hurt you before. I’ve made, quite frankly, horrifying mistakes. It felt right, to have you by my side forever . And if you want it too, then, my love, there shalln’t be anything for you to stress over. Other than perhaps Mummy’s passion about the wedding preparations...my love...I would stay clear of her during these times. And maybe Sherlock’s, surely to be disastrous, attempt at a best man speech.”
Greg laughs and looks up at Mycroft, who is smiling at him with a fondness in his eyes that makes Greg’s heart skip a beat and his breath catch. He’s beautiful.
“Marriage isn’t really changing anything we’ve built thus far is it? It’s merely inviting hundreds of people whom we don’t like anyway to see that. Quite...irritating. Disturbing.” Mycroft grimances and Greg’s huffing out a laugh again.
“There’s the man I know so well.”
“The other things I said were also from the same man” Mycroft frowns. Greg kissed his cheek softly, smile not leaving his face.
“I know. All parts of the man I fell in love with.” Mycroft receives a peck on the corner of his lips. “The man I’m going to marry. The man who can make my laugh like no other.”
Gregory hums contentedly, “I love you. Just nervous I guess, I know I want you...dunno why I got all freaky, m’sorry.”
“You’re allowed to feel things, Gregory. As you have taught me…” Mycroft says and the detective in his arms smiles, “Just tell me. I want to remind you how lucky I am to have you in my life. That you love me for who I am. It’s the honor of my life to have had the chance to ask you to be my husband. I cannot promise a smooth reception, my family...you know...but I can vow that I will strive to make you happy.”
Mycroft turned his head to find Greg’s eyes shimmering with deep affection. His detective leans in and captures his lips in a slow, gentle kiss. In which he pours out the sentiment of tenderness he carries in his heart for the man holding him. Their embrace was warm and familiar. Greg couldn’t wait to melt in those arms for the rest of their lives.
As they pulled away Greg gave Mycroft another quick peck on the lips, “My husband ”