Archive of Our Own ^beta

*******

Andrew strolled past Tom, Bee’s admin on the two days when she worked off-campus for her private practice, on his way to her office; the young man gaped at him but didn’t say anything, which was a wise decision on his part. Bee appeared just as surprised when he entered, giving him a wide-eyed look for several seconds as he settled in the padded microsuede chair that was there for her patients. 

“I was getting ready to call you for our session. I see that won’t be necessary today.”

“Nice to know your eyesight hasn’t gone yet,” Andrew drawled before he sipped his triple mocha frappuccino. When she gave him a bland look in return, he sighed and slumped back in the chair. “In case you missed it, my team got kicked out of the playoffs, which means no more boring Exy for me this season and no more reason to stick around in Denver .” He sipped his coffee again as he swore not to think about the city again until he had to return for preseason practice.

Bee chuckled as she wrapped her hands around her mug of hot chocolate. “Some people actually like Denver, you know.” When he gave her his bland look, she shook her head. “Why go there, then?”

Because it was all the way across the country. Because…. “Because the pay’s good.”

“Hmm, and we know you care so much about money.” Bee’s lips pursed for a moment then she set the mug aside and picked up her pen instead. “Just like you’re upset about not making the championships. So why don’t you tell me the real reason you’re sitting in my office, when I also know that you couldn’t have gotten here so quickly after last night’s game unless you flew.”

So much for hoping that she’d been too busy drinking wine with Abby or cleaning her house to pay attention to the damn game. He stared at her for several seconds, but when she refused to look away, heaved a deep sigh. 

“I received an invite to Renee’s wedding.”

“Yes, I did, too.” Bee smiled, joy brightening her pleasantly plump face as she jotted something down on the notepad. “Everyone’s excited about her and Allison finally getting married.” Then she seemed to think of something and gazed at him. “Aren’t you happy for your best friend?”

Andrew clicked his tongue as he swirled his drink around to mix it. “It’s her life, what do I care if she’s got lousy taste in women?” When Bee frowned at his answer, he shrugged. “I’m going, even though it means dealing with New York and buying a stupid gift and putting up with the Foxes .” He allowed himself a slight shudder at the thought of it all; it was bad enough when he ran across his former teammates during games, but to deal with a bunch of them at the same time ?

At least Renee had assured him there’d be an open bar.

“Ah.” Bee leaned back in her chair and tapped the end of the pen against her left forefinger. “I noticed you haven’t said anything about seeing Neil again.”

Andrew stilled at the mention of his...of his ex...of his former teammate. “He’s a Fox, isn’t he?” Hmm, he wasn’t going back to that coffee shop, how could they mess up a mocha frappuccino so much? It tasted bitter when he took another sip. “And I see him all the time when our teams play each other.” Saw him across the court and in front of his goal, but never closer than that.

Bee gave him a look which meant she knew he was being purposely obtuse; why did they bother to talk during these sessions? They could just sit here in silence and look at each other, so much better than verbally expressing one’s emotions (or whatever). “Yes, that’s true, but this time it’ll be a social situation where you’ll be expected to actually talk to each other-to him and his boyfriend.” When Andrew stilled again, she tapped the pen again. “Or at least, a certain young man rumored to be his boyfriend.

After a minute or two of the only sound in the room being them breathing and the tapping of the pen, Bee sighed. “Andrew...have you seen anyone recently? Will you be taking anyone to the wedding as your ‘plus one’?”

That time, his look clearly said ‘no’.

The pen paused in mid-air as Bee clearly debated what to say next; she set it aside in favor of picking up the mug. “You know, I never could figure out why you broke up with Neil when I’d never seen you so...well, so comfortable and at peace with yourself when you two were together, and when you’re clearly so miserable on your own.” She took a sip of hot chocolate to give him a chance to speak, and appeared disappointed when he didn’t. “Do you honestly believe your decision then was still the best one to make?”

He loudly slurped the last of the bitter frappucino while he gazed at her, his own expression (such as it was) clearly indicating that it would be best for her to change the topic.

After a slow exhale, she did just that.

*******

“Gilbert? What the hell is this ?”

Neil held a box filled with...well, he’d stopped checking its contents after finding four vibrators, six different miniature liquor bottles and three jewelry boxes (or what looked to be jewelry boxes, he decided it was in his best interest not to check their contents) as far away as possible while he waited for an answer. He shoved it in his cousin’s direction when Ally, busy packing for their stay across town (‘excuse you, Trouble, but it’s Manhattan ’ he heard Allison correct him in his head) finally stepped into the living room, and wondered if he’d regret not just chucking the damn thing off the balcony.

“Ah, I was looking for that.” As if reading his thoughts, Ally grabbed the box and wrapped a protective arm around it. “We’ll need it for the hen party.” When Neil pinched the bridge of his nose (he could feel the headache starting already), his cousin chuckled. “What? Renee wants something for hide-and-seek.”

“I highly doubt she intends for her friends, half of them drunk, to search the Carlyle for dildos and whatever else you have in there for the sake of a party game.” Neil could already hear Aunt Miriam’s disappointed sigh and his older cousins’ cackling as they bullied him for the entire story.

Oh, for the days when he’d been cut off from the Hatfords...well, when the Hatfords hadn’t dumped their problem child (for once not him ) on his doorstep.

“No, that would be Allison.” Ally pouted as he stroked the top of the box as if it was a beloved pet. “It’s a hen party and we’re doing it right.”

“Oh for…” Neil pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. “I want to see two of my best friends get married and spend time with the rest of them. I do not want to have another dinner with Ichirou in return for asking him to make various police charges disappear, again .” He glared at his cousin, who appeared much too innocent at the moment. “You rotten git, you’ve already made a reservation, haven’t you?”

Ally let out a nervous laugh as he took a step back, towards his room. “Ah, I might have let Makoto know about you having a free weekend and all that...look at the time, so much to do before we leave, gotta go!” The coward spun on his heel and fled, and only the fact that he was blood-no, only the fact that Aunt Miriam would be a good bit more than disappointed kept Neil from throwing a knife at his back.

Aunt Miriam was a sweetheart; Neil had wanted to send his cousin back to London when Ally had first arrived in the States, unwilling to put up with both a roommate and the family ‘fuck-up’. However, despite dealing with mobsters, maniacs and his father, he hadn’t been able to say ‘no’ when his aunt had asked him to help Ally learn to stand on his own.

(Well, to give him a place to live while his latest bit of idiocy blew over, and maybe knock some common sense into the suicidal idiot.)

To give Ally credit, he wasn’t too bad of a roommate; he helped keep their apartment in Jackson Heights clean, he looked after Sir and King while Neil was on the road for games, and he’d been a necessary distraction when Neil had found himself in a new city, on a new team, all alone.

He’d thought that he’d gotten used to being single since Andrew had broken up with him before leaving for Denver, but he’d still had the Foxes, Wymack, Abby and even Bee Dobson on hand to hold him together until he’d graduated. It wasn’t until he was a few weeks into preseason with the Barons that he’d realized that he’d pushed any real feelings about the breakup aside to deal with the stress of his last year as a Fox, and everything that came along with it (ensure that the Foxes had a good season, that his grades didn’t drop too much, that he was ready for the pros). 

That he was alone in New York (except for two cats and two dear friends across the river), when he’d expected to live with the man he loved (he could admit that, at least) after graduation. Instead, Andrew had left him with Sir, King and a broken heart.

If there was one thing Neil was used to, it was pushing past the pain. He focused on his new team, and while they weren’t the Foxes, he got along well with his teammates. To avoid any awkwardness between the Foxes (though Allison, Matt and Dan swore that there wouldn’t be, they’d just uninvite Andrew to everything which...well, that was what Neil didn’t want), he spent any breaks or holidays with Stuart, which was how he reconnected with the Hatfords.

Which was how he now had his roommate, ‘Gilbert’.

Neil felt something brush against his legs and reached down to pick up King, who was already giving him a look of displeasure. “We’ll only be gone two days, I promise,” he told the sulking black cat. “Two days, during which Miranda will spoil you silly, don’t try to tell me any different.” He scratched behind her ears, which made her close her eyes in pleasure and purr. Despite the wedding taking place in Manhattan, they’d be too busy to come home until everything was over.

He fussed over King for a couple minutes, then set her down to check the cats’ food bowls, which of course was where Sir was curled up. He stroked the placid orange tabby’s back twice before he ensured that the water fountain was filled with plenty of fresh water, then gave both of them canned food. By the time he was done, Ally was in the living room with his suspiciously large suitcase.

“Ready to go?”

Neil sighed as he took in the designer clothes, the dark blond hair gelled into a mess (he refused to call it ‘artfully tousled’ when he was given grief for his hair looking like that naturally), the hint of stubble on his cousin’s cheeks and a strong whiff of cologne. “Going for a gigolo look today?”

Ally batted his eyelashes, which was such a disturbing sight. “I am the boyfriend of one of the best strikers in the country, if not the world.”

That statement made Neil shudder. “No, you’re not, and the press are idiots.”

“Hmm, true to both, but it doesn’t help when you tell them things such as ‘he’s my conjoined twin’ and ‘what do you mean I’m living with someone? I need to leave right now and speak to my landlord’.” Ally tucked the box beneath his left arm and grabbed the handle of his suitcase then headed for the door. “Among other things.”

“Well, yeah, because I can’t tell them I’m letting my cousin, a Hatford, stay with me until some member of a drug cartel no longer wants to skin him alive and use his intestines to decorate the nearest May pole.” Neil grabbed his duffel bag, made sure the door was locked behind them then motioned for Ally to be quiet as he went down the hallway to knock on Miranda’s door. His neighbor, a woman in her fifties with only a touch of grey in her black, curly hair cut short to her scalp, opened the door with a smile.

“Leaving already?”

“Yes, and I fed the cats before I left. Thanks so much for looking after them.” Neil returned the smile; he’d bonded with Miranda after moving into the apartment building when he’d found out that she’d lived in Germany for a few years, along with her husband, Arnold, who’d served in the Army. He helped her with her rusty German and she watched the cats whenever he was out of town (and now when Ally wasn’t around), and sometimes she sent over leftovers. In return, he always had spare Barons tickets when her family and friends were in town.

“Be sure to take pictures to show me later! I’m talking to you, Gil!” Miranda called out as they continued down the hall. Ally promised he would while Neil shook his head; most likely, he’d be too busy talking to Matt and Robin to remember to do such a thing.

Once in the small, private parking lot for the apartment building, Neil unlocked his Audi RS Q8 so they could load in their bags (and the box he was doing his best to forget about), then set out for Manhattan and the Carlyle hotel. They’d timed it so traffic shouldn’t be too bad, but he found himself anxious a few minutes into the drive.

Many things could be said about Ally: that he was a pain in the ass, that he never thought things through, that he didn’t care enough about most things...but he was observant. “I take it that the heartless bastard will be there?”

Neil sighed as he rubbed his thumb along the burn marks on his right cheek. “Yeah.” He didn’t know why he was nervous about seeing Andrew in a little while, when he played several games against the Denver Centennials a season. But that was when Andrew was in his goal and they both could hide behind their face masks, and pretend that it was the game keeping them away from each other.

Not the fact that Andrew had decided he wanted nothing more to do with Neil anymore. That Neil was indeed ‘nothing’ like Andrew had always said he was.

“Ah.” Ally pulled his phone out of an inside pocket of his ridiculous baby blue, jacquard suit jacket.

“What are you doing?”

“Hmm? Me? Oh, just checking to see what Uncle Stu’s doing this weekend, if he’s free for a couple-”

“No.” Neil swatted at his cousin’s hands. “You’re not letting Stuart know that Andrew’s here so he can kill him. Do you know how suspicious that would be? Besides, how much it would ruin the wedding?” He thought about that for a moment. “Well, for Renee.” Then he thought about it some more, about what he’d just said, and wanted to bang his head against the steering wheel. His life, so fucked up.

“Oh, all right, for Renee.” Ally pouted as he put his phone away, then perked up. “How about a minor accident? Surely Renee won’t be too upset if he’s just...oh, in a slight coma or something? Mild paralysis? Loss of a limb or two? Nothing too important, just a leg and a few organs like his spleen and brain.”

Should Neil feel bad that he actually considered it for a few seconds? The breakup had really gutted him… “No,” he repeated, and tried not to sound on the fence about it.

Unfortunately, Ally seemed to pick up on that. “What about... emotional damage?” When Neil didn’t reply, he pumped his first into the air then texted something on his phone.

Neil refused to feel guilty about setting his cousin loose on his ex-boyfriend, since he figured that at least half the Foxes (Allison, Matt, Dan, Carlos, Laura…) would be planning something similar that weekend. That and he doubted it would have any impact on Andrew, who regretted nothing and cared for little. If it made Ally feel better, then let him try.

Maybe it would keep the pest out of trouble.

Somewhat out of trouble.

The weekend was going to be a nightmare.

*******

Andrew tossed back another whiskey, a nice, forty-year old Irish brand which the bartender had been eager to pour when he’d ask for the most expensive whiskey they had on hand; not that he cared about the price, when Reynolds was footing the bill. The alcohol was a pleasant burn down his throat, so he tapped the bar to indicate that he wanted another one.

He’d managed to find a small, mostly empty bar in the vast hotel; there had to be something out of the way considering its size and how much it catered to its customers and the city’s residents. There was an older man in the corner tapping away on his phone and a couple at a small table, but other than that he was alone.

Just the way he preferred. 

At least, he was alone until an annoying Christian girl slid onto the bar stool next to him. “Shouldn’t you be at some stupid bachorlette party?”

“It doesn’t start for another half an hour.” Renee waved the bartender over and asked for a Shirley Temple (the heathen, despite her Christain beliefs) and another drink for him and a water. “The rehearsal dinner a bit much for you?”

All he did was give her a blank stare for such a ridiculous question.

“I see.” She was quiet until the bartender returned with their drinks, and gave him a generous tip. “I did hope that everyone could put aside their grievances this weekend, but I guess that was too much to hope for.” She took a sip of her drink then sighed. “Everyone’s always been a bit protective of Neil.”

Andrew downed half his drink before he spoke. “Seems to be doing well for himself.” Neil was on a team headed to the playoffs, had made Court in the last year, and was considered the second-best striker in Exy, right behind Kevin. Oh, and he had a British boyfriend who’d spent most of the rehearsal dinner throwing insults Andrew’s way, much to the delight of at least half the attendees. 

If it hadn’t been for Bee asking him not to cause a scene (a rather physical ‘angel’ seated beside him instead of perched on his shoulder), he would have carved the bastard’s barbed tongue out with a butter knife. 

He never liked British accents, not after suffering one Stuart Hatford.

(Not unless a certain redheaded Exy junkie slipped into one when they were alone.)

(Dammit, he needed to stop thinking about Neil.)

“Because he’s an idiot with absolutely no survival instincts,” Andrew drawled as he swirled around the remaining whiskey in its glass. “You should know that by now, as well as how nothing’s changed, considering his actions out on court and during interviews.” He scoffed before he had another swig of alcohol. “Even his boyfriend is a mouthy bastard.”

“Ah.” Renee nibbled on the cherry garnish from her drink as she seemed to think about something. “Gil cares about Neil, but not like that. They’re not dating.”

Andrew scoffed again. “Right. And you’re marrying a guy tomorrow.” For the past two years, he’d had the fact that Neil, Mr. ‘I don’t swing for anyone but you’, had moved on with some handsome foreigner thrown in his face by various reporters digging around for leads and Nicky hoping to goad a reaction out of him. He never reacted, because...because why should he? He walked away from Neil, had ended things between them, so why should it matter if Neil found someone who could make him happy? Why did it matter if Andrew gave up on even looking for fuckbuddies after a few tries, tired of being disappointed with people who didn’t listen, who didn’t respect rules, who didn’t do casual.

(Who weren’t Neil.)

“You know I’m not, and you’re wrong about Neil.” Renee gave him a disappointed look then motioned toward the television hanging across the bar, which showed the results of various sports games. “I know you were in the lobby when Neil and Gil arrived, since you were waiting for Nicky and Erik. You saw the press question them about their relationship, just like they always do. Did Neil acknowledge them as being a couple?”

“No, he was his usual smartass self.” Andrew waved the bartender over for another drink as he thought about that encounter, inwardly amused as always at how his ex tormented the press. When asked about the man beside him, Neil had heaved an exaggerated sigh then solemnly informed the vultures surrounding him that after learning the hard way never to investigate any weird circles with funny stars in their centers painted in the spare closets of his apartment as that apparently leads to one being stuck with unexpected roommates, he’s vowed to never again engage in the dark arts, knowingly or not. Said ‘roommate’ had merely laughed and said he could have summoned much worse before Boyd broke through the crowd to give Neil a bear hug (and end the impromptu interview).

“And, as a ‘smartass’, do you think he’d deny being in a relationship? When he admitted to being involved with a man in the past, or that he’s demisexual?” Renee gazed at him until Andrew clicked his tongue and shook his head. “Part of the reason everyone asks him about Gil being his boyfriend is because they know he used to be together with you.” Renee wrinkled her nose while she stirred her drink with its straw. “Well, not you exactly, as the two of you never went public.”

No, they were going to wait until they both were in the pros, and then… Well, then it didn’t matter anymore. Andrew didn’t hide the fact that he was gay, and neither did Neil. 

It didn’t matter.

He snatched the glass of whiskey from the bartender and gulped down half of it.

“Things aren’t always as they seem,” Renee continued once the bartender went over to the couple to check on them. “Neil lets the press think what they want because that way, he tends to get hit on less. Gil...well, he finds it amusing that people believe they’re together. As long as they’re both fine with it, we’re fine with it.”

“And why are you boring me with this?” Andrew filched the piece of pineapple from her drink then popped it in his mouth.

Annoying creature that she was, Renee smiled at him, dimples on full display. “Because I know you, Andrew, and while I truly believe you consider me a friend,” she continued smiling even when he made a gagging sound, “I didn’t expect you to show up at my wedding, not when I know how much you hate Manhattan, elaborate affairs and Fox reunions. Yet your RSVP was returned shortly after I mentioned that Neil was attending.” She pushed her unfinished drink away and stood up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve a bachelorette party to attend.”

“I hope you find Allison sleeping with a maid or something,” he muttered as he flagged down the bartender.

“I always know I’m right when you drag Allison into things. Don’t drink too much.” She gave a cheerful wave before she left, which made him want to throw his empty tumbler at the back of her head.

She’d just catch it and throw it back at him, knowing her.

Not that he was listening to Renee, but Andrew returned to his room after one more whiskey, unwilling to meet up with Aaron, Nicky or Kevin. He’d have plenty of time to suffer their presence tomorrow, between brunch, the wedding and the wedding reception. 

He didn’t think anything at first when he entered his hotel room, until he neared the bed; he noticed that the bathroom door was left open, when he’d closed it before he’d gone to the rehearsal dinner, and that one of the water bottles on the desk was missing. 

Oh high alert now that he realized that someone had been in his hotel room while he’d been gone, it was easy to spot the most noticeable change; a Sexflesh Moby dildo wrapped in a bright orange ribbon left on his bed, with a card dangling from the ribbon. After ensuring that he didn’t see any obvious traps around the ‘gift’, he edged toward it and used the remote to nudge the card enough to read its message.

A big dildo for the biggest prick alive. Enjoy the only thing that wants to fuck an utter bastard like you.

Andrew stared at the card for several seconds before he clicked his tongue. Part of him wanted to throw the thing in the trash, before he realized what he could get for it at Eden’s. If someone wanted to waste that much money trying to insult them, let them.

It didn’t mean he wouldn’t gladly beat their brains in with the thing, he’d just make sure to disinfect the three-foot long dildo before he sold it to someone else.

He had a feeling where to start with the bashing, too.

*******

“Things are good, right? You’d tell me if they weren’t?”

Neil smiled at the way Kevin fidgeted as he asked that question, his expression worried as he turned the glass of iced green tea around in his large hands. “Why, will you go easy on me the next time we play if I say they aren’t?”

Kevin’s thick, dark brows nearly met in the middle of his forehead as he scowled. “No! That would be-oh, you’re joking.” He huffed as he reached out to push at Neil’s right shoulder. “Not funny.”

“Come on, admit that it was, just a little.”

Kevin huffed again as he tried not to smile. “I’m claiming undue influence if your team beats mine in the semi-finals.”

Neil gasped and clutched his chest as if it pained him as he looked over at Jean and Jeremy, who were pretending not to laugh (well, not so much Jean, who was stifling a smile). “Did you hear that? Mark this day down as one where the Kevin Day joked about Exy!”

“Who said I was joking?”

“ Kevin .” All it took was Jean saying his boyfriend’s name in that tone, and Kevin flushed a very...well, to be honest, it was a rather unflattering shade of red, but it made Jeremy smile such a soft smile and Kevin’s entire body relax, so Neil assumed it was a good thing. 

“Okay, I was. But I do hope you’re well, and not just because I want you to play your best during the semi-finals.”

Jeremy groaned as he reached over to rub Kevin’s back. “You were so close, babe, so close.”

When Kevin turned a confused expression on his other boyfriend, Neil shook his head and shared a pained look with Jean. “That’s okay, I know what he meant. I’m really all right, and I’m looking forward to the semi-finals, too.” Neil patted Kevin on the left shoulder before he left, abandoning his friend to another of his boyfriends’ lectures of ‘this is how to be a human and not an Exy addict’.

Better Kevin than him.

Not that he’d had to suffer them in the last few years.

He pushed that thought aside as he went to the bar for a pint of the low alcohol, dry cider that Allison had arranged to have on tap for him (‘so you can drink along with almost everyone else’); since he was pacing himself for the day, he didn’t even feel a buzz from the fruity drink. While he waited in line, he chatted with Corinne, Allison’s assistant, and Tobias, a Fox who’d graduated a year after him.

After he got his cider, Neil stepped away from the bar to glance around the busy ballroom; there were small pockets of people everywhere, chatting and enjoying their drinks and appetizers as they waited for the brides and small wedding party to join them. Trying to decide between tracking down Ally (keeping his cousin out of trouble) or joining Matt and Dan, he nearly choked on his mouthful of cider when he heard Ally shout in anger.

“Say it again, you gormless tosser, and I’ll slit you from crotch to throat!”

“Hey! Calm down, we’re all friends here!” That was Nicky, attempting to cool things off, so Neil was willing to guess that one of the twins was involved. He had a gulp of cider before he passed the glass to a stunned server then headed to the gathering crowd. When he found Wymack holding a slightly scowling Andrew (which meant he was furious) and Matt struggling with a glowering Ally, somehow he wasn’t surprised. 

“Gilbert.” All it took was him saying his cousin’s middle name (well, one of them) for Ally to stop struggling. “I thought this was a wedding, not an open call for brawls.”

Ally was still long enough for Matt to let him go then made a show of straightening out his crumpled suit jacket. “My apologies. Unfortunately, when one associates with such manky characters, such things tend to happen.”

“Gilbert…” Neil should have thrown the bastard into the Hudson as soon as he got off the plane from London.

Not that he thought it would do any good, but he turned to Andrew to see if his ex would shed any light on the situation. All Andrew did was shrug off Wymack’s hold and declare without any inflection that the party ‘sucked’ before he walked away.

Again, what a surprise. “I need air,” Neil announced to the gathered crowd. “On a balcony, from which I can throw people off of,” he decided to clarify when it looked like Nicky and Matt were going to join him; what he didn’t need was company right then.

Not when his cousin and...whatever Andrew was were being assholes at Allison and Renee’s wedding. Oh, he should have expected it, but he’d hoped that they’d at least make it past the cake being cut.

Well, he’d hoped that Andrew would somewhat behave until the cake had been cut, considering that his blood was half sugar. Ally...hmm, there’d been a chance that he’d be distracted by the open bar and pretty people. Something like that.

So of course things hadn’t gone how Neil had hoped they would. When did they ever?

He wished that he still had his cigarettes on him once he was out on the balcony overlooking Manhattan, but Coach Tate had made him give them up even if he didn’t properly ‘smoke’. Still, the air was cold and bracing enough to clear his head, the space was empty of anyone else (though there were a couple of pigeons fluttering around hoping for food to be dropped).

Too bad he hadn’t thought to bring any appetizers out with him. 

He thought he saw Dan and Robin hover near the French doors of the balcony, but they respected his desire for privacy while he contemplated why Ally was such an idiot (coddled brat?) and why Andrew had to be such an antagonistic asshole (incredibly hard life and the disposition of a soaking wet cat). That left Neil, who was stuck with the ‘pleasure’ of knowing both of them.

Oh, he’d always known that Fate absolutely hated him. Flat out despised him. Loathed him with a passion. Got its rocks off by making his existence as much a pain in the ass as possible. He’d thought he’d been in the clear for a while- ha! -and then Ally had been inflicted upon him.

Yep, nothing but pure and utter revulsion for his entire being.

“Why are you grinning like a fool?”

Neil jerked at the sound of Andrew’s voice; he’d been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t heard the other man come out onto the balcony. Though to be fair, Andrew could be damn sneaky when he wanted to be. “Here to finally push me off a building?”

“Ha, ha,” Andrew said in a deadpan manner. “Should have done it years ago and saved myself all that grief.” He kept his gaze downcast as he lit a cigarette.

“There’s that saying about 20/20 vision.” Neil turned to lean back against the balcony’s stone railing as he pondered why exactly his ex had decided to visit him. “But we both know you don’t believe in regrets.”

Interesting, he could swear that Andrew flinched right then.

“Your boyfriend is an asshole.”

“Hmm?” Distracted for a moment by the scent of a burning cigarette, there was a delay before those words registered in Neil’s mind. “Oh. Well, you’re right on the second part, but wrong on the first.” Of course Andrew was here to bitch about Ally.

There was a flicker of emotion on the other man’s handsome face, there and gone too fast to catch. “What, you don’t like the term?” A slight sneer curled Andrew’s full lips as he flicked ash in the air without a care of any of it landing on his all black outfit. “Should I call him your ‘fuckbuddy’ instead? But I thought you didn’t care for that sort of thing. Was it another one of your many lies?”

For a moment, Neil felt like punching the bastard, but then Ally would never let him hear the end of it (and would be furious for not being there to witness it or record it for his siblings) and he refused to start a fight at his friends’ wedding. There was also an impulse to stomp away, but when had Neil ever left without shooting his mouth off first?

So much for growing wiser over the years.

“I might have lived in the South for a few years, but I never picked up the habit of having sexual relations with my cousins while there, thank you ,” he said, voice thick with derision. “Pardon me if my mind doesn’t go there.”  Then he went to leave, and wasn’t surprised when a tight-lipped Andrew grabbed him by the arm.

What did surprise him was that he didn’t get punched for what he’d just said (and insinuated). “Then who is he?” Andrew demanded to know as he slung Neil back toward the railing then let go to fold his arms over his broad chest (why did he still have to look so damn good?). “Why do you let everyone think he’s your boyfriend if he isn’t?”

“Why do you care?”

When Andrew gave him a flat stare in response, Neil sighed and jerked his right hand through his hair. “Right, we’re back to playing that game, are we?” When he didn’t receive an answer that time, either, he sighed again. “I told you, he’s my cousin, from my mother’s side.”

Andrew’s hazel eyes narrowed as if he was really to call ‘bullshit’, then he let out a slow breath. “A Hatford.”

“Yes, which is why I don’t correct people’s assumptions about him, as I’d rather them think what they’d like as long as it’s not that he’s a Hatford.”

“Why’s he living with you?”

Neil was half-tempted to point out that Andrew had asked another question, but supposed it might be considered part of the first one, and found himself oddly unwilling to drive his ex away just then. Instead, he shrugged and leaned back against the railing. “It’s a long story. Sure you want to spend time with a ‘nothing’ to hear it?”

Oh yes, that was definitely a flinch that time.

“Better than dealing with a crowd of idiots,” Andrew drawled.

“Ah, I’m just one, right?” Neil huffed when Andrew gave him the ‘of course’ look. “Well, some of it you know,” he started while he traced his right forefinger over the scars on the back of his left hand. “The last year at PSU was really rough for me. I’d thought…well, I didn’t have the support I thought I’d have to get me through it,” because Andrew had broken up with him, “though Robin and the rest of the Foxes did their best.” He purposely didn’t look at his ex-boyfriend while he spoke. “I was nearly burnt out and thinking of doing something stupid by the end of the fall semester.” Had his duffle bag packed and almost ready to buy tickets to somewhere far away.

“What about Wymack and the others? Where were they when you were being an idiot?” Andrew sounded...he sounded off for some reason.

“Hmm?” Neil frowned as he forced himself to leave his scars alone and focused on the platinum fox head cufflinks which Jamie had gotten for him as a birthday present two years ago. “They tried to help, but I wasn’t their only responsibility. That and…” He shrugged. “You know me.”

Andrew nodded as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “A lying masochist who says ‘I’m fine’ like a broken record.”

“Something like that.” Neil rolled his eyes as silver warmed beneath his fingers. “Stuart knows me, too. Well, he knew my mother, and told me that my behavior was enough like hers to set off warning bells in his head. So he didn’t give me a choice when it came to the winter holiday, all but hauled me onto a plane and took me to London to spend the break with the Hatfords.” He smiled at the memory, even though he’d been anything but pleased at the time. 

“I was miserable at first, but...Stuart and Uncle Will would tell me stories about Mary anytime I was within earshot, so I started to seek them out. Then I spent time with my cousins, who are-well, Will and Jamie are really great, and their mother, Aunt Miriam, is just...she’s wonderful.” He glanced up at Andrew and found the other man staring at him. “For the first time in a while, I was able to be myself with other people, didn’t have to censor myself or explain things or stuff like that. As much as I care about the Foxes, it’s not the same with them.”

Andrew considered all of that for a moment then huffed. “What, you had such a great time with them that you decided to be roomies with Gilbert?”

“Not exactly.” Neil sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “And his name’s not Gilbert, not really. That’s one of his middle names-he’s usually called Ally, short for Alistair, but again, we don’t want people to know he’s a Hatford so I call him that instead. He’s here because he upset someone in London so the family wanted him out of reach until things settle down. My aunt thought he’d be better off with someone to watch over him.”

It was quiet for a minute as if Andrew was digesting all of that information, then he lit another cigarette; Neil took it as a sign that it was his turn. “Okay then, why do you care? About Ally and the rumors that he’s my boyfriend? About anything to do with me at all?” He couldn’t help letting bitterness creep into his voice. “I’m nothing, remember ?”

*******

Dammit, Andrew wasn’t drunk enough for this; he knew it was a mistake to follow Neil outside, but it was either that or leave the wedding reception entirely, and he’d never hear the end of it from Renee, Aaron, Nicky, Wymack and Bee if he did. Normally he didn’t care about anyone’s opinion, but the fact that he’d left a gathering where Neil had been...one of the five busybodies would end up dead from their harping.

Probably more than one of them. 

He’d say ‘all’, but Renee was Renee and Bee was underhanded as all hell.

And now he was distracting himself from answering Neil’s questions. He stared at the burning end of his cigarette rather than his ex’s pale blue eyes, those eyes he’d always found so fascinating, and clicked his tongue as he flicked the cigarette into the air. “I’m not the one who forgets things,” he said as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his suit’s jacket (before he did something unforgivable like comb his fingers through those unruly dark red curls). 

“That’s not an answer.”

Still such a smartass. Fuck, that thought shouldn’t be so affectionate.

“So impatient,” Andrew drawled. When Neil made to leave, he clicked his tongue again. “Fine. It’s…” It was time to tell the truth, it seemed. Damn Bee.

That wasn’t really her fault, but it felt safer to blame her right then.

“I wasn’t...I wasn’t really thinking when I spoke back then, before I left for Denver,” he admitted as he leaned against the railing next to Neil, mindful to look out at the city and not at his...at the man he’d been stupid enough to drive away. “I’d convinced myself that it was best for you if I was out of your life so you could focus on Exy and your last year at PSU, that you didn’t do anything to mess up things with Ichirou.” When Neil stiffened, he forced himself to continue. “It seemed that you were pushing yourself too hard, trying to be there for the Foxes, keep your grades up, meet your obligations for that bastard, and spend time with me, so…”

“So you thought you’d break up with me to help me out ? That I’d be perfectly fine with you, the man I wanted to spend my life with, walking away? And you call me an idiot?” 

Ah, someone sounded furious. When Andrew glanced aside, it was to see that Neil’s pale eyes were alight with hurt and anger.

Yep, definitely furious. Just his luck, too, that the junkie always looked so damn gorgeous when he was in a temper.

“There was never any promises between-”

“Because you didn’t want them!” Neil jerked his hands through his hair and appeared three seconds away from tossing Andrew off the balcony. “We were supposed to be ‘nothing’!”

Andrew flinched as his own words were thrown in his face. “Yes, we were. You were.” He admitted.

It was quiet for almost a minute while Neil seemed to think about that. “‘Were’?”

“I hate you,” Andrew said as he went to light another cigarette then decided not to, as he looked away from Neil. “You were supposed to be this impossible thing that would disappear eventually, except you didn’t.” He was supposed to disappoint Andrew at some point, to let him down like everyone else, except he didn’t.

So Andrew did something so very stupid instead.

The silence dragged on long enough that Andrew expected Neil to walk away at any moment, and couldn’t blame the junkie for doing so. When Neil let out a slow breath, he nearly jumped in reaction to the quiet sound. 

“Sir really misses you. If you’re in town for a while, you should stop by and see him.”

Andrew flicked his lighter a few times before he accepted the offer so he didn’t come across as too eager. “I bet it’s because you don’t give him the good treats.”

“Bacon is not a ‘good treat’!”

“Sir seems to disagree with that assessment.”

“His vet doesn’t.”

Andrew clicked his tongue then put his lighter away. “I better check in on him, and King as well, even though she always favored you.” Neil was the one who found her as a kitten, after all.

“Yeah.” The junkie smiled as he brushed aside the bangs falling onto his forehead. “She still hasn’t warmed up to Gil yet.”

Nice to know the cat had good taste. “So what is his name? Your cousin.” Since it looked as if Neil was giving Andrew another chance, he’d have to deal with the asshole and he wanted to know who exactly said asshole was.

“Oh.” Neil blinked then glanced around as if to ensure that they were still alone. “Ally. Well, Alistair Russel Gilbert Hatford.” A smirk which Andrew knew all too well, one which almost always preceded some sort of trouble, spread across Neil’s handsome face. “He hates the ‘Gilbert’ part of his name so I’m using that.”

“Hm.” Andrew considered that piece of information (and how he might use it in the future), then clicked his tongue. “His initials spell out ‘Argh’.”

That tidbit made Neil blink again. “Okay.”

“I’m calling him ‘Argh’.”

Neil’s dark red brows drew together as he regarded Andrew. “Just what did he do to upset you back in there?”

Well, there was the constant sniping the past two days, the whole breaking into his hotel room and leaving him a massive dildo, followed by the man ‘threatening’ to scoop out his eyes with a teaspoon if he kept looking in Neil’s direction. Yet all Andrew did was gaze steadily at the improbable young man who dared to make him feel things, until Neil sighed and shook his head.

“Never mind.”

“I’ll stop by Monday,” he said instead as he shoved his hands into his pockets; Neil’s team didn’t have another game until Thursday. “I’ll even treat you to dinner, but Argh’s on his own.”

“Andrew….” Neil sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Keep the hostility to mental scarring, okay? I’d rather not get dragged into another mob war, thank you.”

Someone was getting boring with old age, Andrew thought with an internal sneer. “Only for you, Josten.”

“This is going to end in disaster. I need a drink,” Neil muttered as he fled inside, seemingly headed straight to the bar. Since alcohol was almost always a good idea in Andrew’s opinion, he followed at a more energy-conserving pace.

If he noticed Renee (who’d finally showed up, which meant hope for food and, more importantly, cake at last) and Bee casting huge smiles and thumbs-up in his direction, he pretended not to notice. He was a bit busy planning that mental scarring for Argh, after all.

(And maybe how not to mess up this second chance with an impossible pipedream.)

*******