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Blood on Your Hands, Ice in Your Veins

Chapter 23

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

‘...but imagine if we managed to actually kill the dragon. And then reanimate it.’ He could hear Hikaku theorising. 

 

Izuna immediately jumped at the bait. ‘Yoooo, that would be wicked. We could burn all the Senju pricks to the crisp and be done with them!’ He hollered excitedly. His obsession with wiping their potential allies from the face of the world was kind of disturbing but secretly, Madara actually wasn’t that opposed to the sentiment. It was all very unfortunate they needed to collaborate with the Senju in order to bring peace to their people.

 

‘I couldn’t possibly reanimate something that enormous, let alone control it. I don’t have big enough chakra reserves for such a feat. The exertion would suck me bone dry in a matter of seconds.’ Tobirama replied colourlessly, as if it was obvious and they were being stupid again.

 

‘Hmmm. I can see how that’s impractical. Besides, sucking you dry is aniki’s job.’ Izuna snickered at his own stupid innuendo while Madara suddenly found himself choking on his spit. It was one thing that he wasn’t wrong, and didn’t the memory of tasting Tobirama’s cock make his own twitch enthusiastically, yet spoken out loud, by the mouth of his baby brother, it sounded rather vulgar.

 

They had been on the way for a good part of three hours with no stop when Tobirama suddenly grunted and stumbled, losing his balance. Fortunately, Hikaku’s quick reflexes came to the rescue and prevented him from falling over straight on his face, since he was quick enough to react and catch him. 

 

‘Are you alright, Tobirama?’ Hikaku asked, wide eyed, while the man in question clung to the front of his armour, even as his hand visibly shook. It didn’t go unnoticed to Madara that he had finally dropped the honorifics. He wasn’t sure he liked it, paired with that starry-eyed look Hikaku often watched Tobirama with, but that wasn’t the main concern right now.

 

‘What, tired already? Have you tripped over your own feet?’ Izuna landed right next to them, but Madara did detect a hint of concern in his mocking tone. A concern they shared. 

 

Tobirama shook his head, leaning on Hikaku and heaving. There was something a little different about him than a minute ago but Madara couldn’t put his finger on it. ‘What’s the matter? Are you feeling unwell?’ He immediately started to worry. Was it a case of a belated poisoning reaction that caused his sudden weakness? He did look rather pale. Well, a few shades paler than was his usual.

 

Tobirama waved his hand with unconvincing dismissiveness. ‘Fine.’ He mumbled, taking deep breaths in an attempt to regain his bearing. He was clearly anything but.

 

Madara harrumphed malcontently. ‘Stop bullshitting and spit it out. Do we need to take a break?’ Tobirama did mention earlier that he had very little chakra left after he exhausted himself to get them all out through the portal safely. Chakra depletion was no joke and Tobirama was definitely stubborn enough to push himself over the limit instead of admitting he needed some rest. He mentally berated himself for not taking that into consideration.

 

Either way, Tobirama just elected to ignore the imploring cadence of his voice, predictable as always. ‘Let go, please. I just need to check on something.’ He forced himself upright, though Hikaku still kept his hand hovering above his shoulder, just in case. Madara felt a little pang of misplaced jealousy but stomped it mentally at once. No need to be overly possessive. Tobirama belonged to him. They were bonded and anyone else simply had no chance. And Hikaku wouldn’t dare. There. 

 

While he was giving himself this little mental dressing down, Tobirama, under their watchful eyes, proceeded to unclasp one of his bracers. His motions were slow and the anticipation of whatever the hell was going on was about to get the best out of him. Just as he became fed up with the fumbling and decided to help him with the last buckle, the bracer fell to the ground and Tobirama rolled his long underglove down, exposing his forearm.

 

‘That wasn’t there before.’ Madara blurted out, staring at the sprawling red ink etched into his previously creamy white skin. He had become an avid explorer of each and every inch of Tobirama’s body. He would have noticed. Was that some kind of curse?

 

If it was, then Tobirama didn’t seem perturbed. On the contrary, as he traced the pattern with his fingertips, the look in his eyes was positively reverent. ‘No, it wasn’t. But that means that my plan worked. I can hardly believe it!’ He looked up with a big grin plastered to his face. It had no business to be so damn gorgeous.

 

‘What plan?’ Izuna tilted his head, similarly uncomprehending but not rendered momentarily speechless by Tobirama’s pretty smile.

 

‘To retrieve what is mine.’ Tobirama answered enigmatically. When he met with three pairs of very curious eyes, he assumed a sheepish expression.

 

Immediately, Madara was sure he wouldn’t like what he would say. ‘Go on, spill.’

 

‘Promise me you won’t get mad.’ Tobirama countered. He really wasn’t going to like whatever explanation Tobirama had for them.

 

‘I can’t promise you that when I don’t know what you’ve done!’ Madara hissed exasperatedly. Upon Tobirama’s pleading look, he, however, caved immediately. It was very inconvenient how wrapped around his finger Tobirama had him. ‘Whatever it is, I won’t rip your head off.’ He carefully kept his voice levelled.

 

‘That’s reassuring.’ Izuna snorted.

 

It was obviously a good enough promise for Tobirama though, as he inclined his head gratefully. ‘You may recall that cloning spell you helped me with?’

 

‘Yes?’ Madara beckoned him to continue, his hackles rising once more.

 

‘Well, I’ve been tinkering with that further on my own and while I wasn’t yet able to solve the issue of damage transfer to the original, I decided to take advantage of that flaw instead. Since I was reasonably confident it might fulfil its mission, I sent a clone into the Senju compound to fetch some of my belongings. I figured that I would hardly get a better opportunity to sneak in in the foreseeable future, knowing that Hashirama was away to conduct business with us.’ He explained, obviously elated, that his scheme of his indeed came to fruition.

 

He seemed so proud of himself that Madara didn’t even have the energy to get too angry over the fact that he went behind his back. In fact, he was quite impressed. Having the clone run all the way to the Senju territory and infiltrate the settlement was no small feat, not to mention successfully perform a sealing that would imprint on the original body upon dismissing. A lot of things could have gone awry, but it worked splendidly. He had to give it to him, it was quite ingenious. Such knowledge might prove invaluable for risky reconnaissance missions.

 

‘So that momentary weakness was when the clone returned to the original body, right?’ Madara caught up with the situation quickly.

 

Tobirama dipped his chin. ‘Yeah.’

 

‘Wicked. So did you get what you wanted? Is it something useful?’ Izuna chimed in excitedly, completely unbothered by his underhanded methods.

 

Again, Tobirama confirmed with a nod. ‘This seal should contain everything. But if you pardon me, I won’t be unsealing it until we are at a safe place. This kind of sealing consumes a lot of chakra and I need to replenish after casting so many elaborate spells. The teleport was unplanned, I wouldn’t have been able to pull it off without blood sacrifice.’ Izuna deflated a little at that but it was quite understandable. They could all use a proper rest. 

 

‘There’s one more thing you should be aware of though.’ Tobirama scratched behind his ear, looking a bit bashful all of a sudden. 

 

As this bode nothing good, Madara groaned and braced himself for whatever would come. ‘What have you done?’  

 

‘I might have slightly complicated the peace talks with the Senju, but that entirely depends on whether anyone will believe Mito-hime and her story.’ 

 

Again, he wasn’t even surprised. Just tired. Freaking menace, that was what Tobirama was. Well, at least his life was far from boring, right? Focusing on the bright side and all that shit. ‘You were seen?’

 

Tobirama’s expression of guilt gave him all the response he needed. ‘By no one else but Mito-hime. And there’s a reasonable explanation for that.  She was merely talking to a simulacrum released from one of the protective charms.’

 

Madara grinded his teeth. While yes, such explanation was quite plausible and nearly impossible to disprove, the lengths Tobirama went to to deliberately make his life harder were apparently infinite. ‘I knew there was a catch.’ 

 

‘That’s not the slight complication part.’ Tobirama took another half-step away from him, just behind the line of direct suckerpunch to the face, should Madara feel so inclined.

 

Any attempts to try and focus on the positives went out of the window. Sucking in a deep breath, just to flare his nostrils with the forceful exhale like an angry dragon, Madara’s eyebrow twitched. ‘There’s more?’

 

‘Oh! What did you do to the bastards? Tell me it was good!’ Izuna on the other hand seemed quite delighted with the prospect of Tobirama causing trouble in the Senju compound. 

 

Tobirama inched carefully away from Madara, further proving that whatever he was about to say would only serve to make him furious. ‘I have been forced to leave behind a considerable amount of my possessions, therefore, in order to render anything useless to the Senju and erase any traces, I have, upon my leave, activated the defence seals.’

 

‘So?’ He prompted, his patience hanging by the thread.

 

‘In conclusion, I have blown up my lab and it was glorious.’ He grinned a little manically, evidently proud of himself. Madara would have sworn he could see little flames dancing in his eyes. It was a bit disconcerting they apparently managed to convert him to the Uchiha general pyromania so quickly. 

 

While Madara smacked his own face with a palm, Izuna burst out in a fit of heartfelt chortles. Hikaku kept staring in slight disbelief. ‘Damn, good job, Tobes! Setting fire to those fuckers, I’d pay a pretty price to see their faces!’ Izuna was in stitches, Hikaku slowly joining in - Izuna’s laughter was always contagious - while Madara glared at Tobirama through the gaps between his fingers. 

 

‘You just couldn’t help yourself, huh?’ He pinched the bridge of his nose, completely and utterly done with Tobirama’s antics for the day. 

 

The silver-haired man just shrugged and tugged his glove back up to fasten the bracer where it belonged. ‘What can I say, I do occasionally enjoy being a moderate to severe nuisance.’ He shot Madara an all too innocent grin. 

 

‘You mean absolutely bastardous unpredictable asshole.’ Madara corrected promptly. His description was definitely far more accurate. He was a handful . And Tobirama actually snorted, taking no offence at all. If anything, he seemed flattered to be labelled an incorrigible troublemaker.

 

‘Come on, aniki, it’s funny. What more proof do you need that we have successfully domesticated him? He just went full Uchiha on them! Showed them how we rule! Bloody brilliant.’ Izuna actually came to his defence in between his guffaws, clapping Tobirama’s back jovially. 

 

Madara heaved a long suffering sigh. He was surrounded by idiots. ‘We won’t be laughing when Hashirama learns what happened. An incident of such magnitude could be counted as a direct attack. A breach of the truce.’ He reminded them, as they appeared to be entirely too gleeful for the seriousness of the situation. 

 

‘Technically. Provided that someone actually manages to trace the incident back to me and present sufficient evidence. No one else besides you two, well, now three I suppose, knows about that cloning spell. As far as Hashirama is concerned, I have been at the conclave, days of travel from the Senju compound, which everyone present, the daimyo ambassador included, can easily corroborate. He had talked to me. It simply had to be a figment of Mito-hime’s imagination, an illusion she set off when she tried and failed to gain an entrance into the lab. She must be too embarrassed to admit that she was unable to bypass the seals, poor thing.’ Tobirama rocked on the balls of his feet, an embodiment of innocence. He could probably talk his way out of the dragon’s den.

 

‘What are you talking about? You have been with us the whole time. Senju Hashirama saw you with his own eyes. You couldn’t have possibly been at two places at the same time?’ Hikaku assumed a very serious expression. 

 

‘Yeah, what a ridiculous idea that we would let you out of our sight anyway, not to mention authorise you to wreak havoc around Senju settlement. We would never .’ Izuna joined in in a heartbeat. 

 

Madara felt slightly defeated, facing the three of them ganged up on him like that. He ran a palm over his face and then turned on his heel. He wasn’t dealing with that right now. ‘We should move on, while we still have the light.’ He grumbled instead and got into a run before anyone could complain. 

 

At first, he had been happy that Izuna started warming up to Tobirama, but all he could think of now were the multiple scenarios where their budding friendship was a cause of a whole lot of trouble. Maybe he would turn prematurely grey after all. Oh joy.




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Their little group of four was on the move well past sunset before they found a convenient place to break a camp. They still weren’t too sure where they were, though, judging from the position of the stars, it was probably some place north of the outpost the summit was held in, which would take them not so far from the border of the Land of Fire and Land of Hot Water. 

 

As they had to set out with the sunrise the next day, they just quickly ate their ratio bars and set up watch rotation. Tobirama volunteered to take the first watch. He had a lot to think about and he wanted to be alone for that. The rest huddled around the fire and fell asleep quickly, knowing they had to use every minute of rest wisely. It was nice to be completely trusted.

 

He found a convenient place a little far off, which was a good vantage point, but since they had to be in higher altitude, the night coldness quickly permeated into his bones. Sighing, Tobirama resorted to unsealing the cloak he earlier retrieved from the Senju compound. It required quite a lot of skill to open a seal within a seal without the need of unsealing the whole thing, and the whole ordeal set him back on recovering his chakra reserves, but it was decidedly worth it as he burrowed himself into the soft familiar fur, instantly feeling comforted by the weight of it. He had this cloak for as long as he could remember, which was strange considering that he had gained substantial height since his childhood. The cloak would however always fit as a glove so he didn’t question it too much, writing it off as an enchantment to save a coin on his clothes.

 

Minutes ticked by slowly and, his awareness pushed far enough to detect any threats in time to react accordingly, Tobirama kind of dissociated. 

 

In his fit of unhinged rage, Hashirama had revealed more than he intended. For his whole life, Tobirama was convinced that his brother hated him out of principle, that his step-mother was to be blamed for whispering venom into his ears, that it was she who pitted them against each other. Only to find out that the main source of Hashirama’s hatred was the incident at the Naka river all those years ago.

 

Pathetic. That was what Hashirama and his whining, his misplaced jealousy were. He had no exclusive claim over Madara. Not even once did his lover mention that there was anything deeper than brief friendship between them. Hell, they were just kids when all of that went down and henceforth, their only contact remained contained within the battlefield. 

 

Was his brother deluding himself for years, pining after Madara and hoping for reconnection? From his rhetorics at the conclave, Tobirama was under the impression that Hashirama was acting out of some twisted desire to unite the tribes under one banner - his own. To gain the influence over the mages of the whole land and, in his own illusion of grandeur, rule over them as the seemingly kind and benevolent chieftain.

 

What a load of bullshit. Tobirama would be hard-pressed to even consent to be in the same room with Hashirama after his assault, much less bend the knee. Not after all these accusations thrown in his face. His brother was clearly not of sound mind, if he thought he was in a position to decide anything for him any more. That Madara would ever see him in a romantic way. And, for that matter, that his wife wouldn’t raise hell if he were to mention polygamy to her. He wasn’t privy to the exact content of their marriage contract, but from the whispers of gossipers, he had gathered enough to be reasonably sure that the clause of not taking any additional consort was included. The Senju might be loose with their love, but the same thing couldn’t certainly be said about the Uzumaki, who valued their own traditions.

 

Not for the first time, Tobirama regretted that he had been prohibited to engage with Uzumaki Mito. When the marriage was announced, he was even excited about the possibility of convening with a true sealmaster, but he was quickly reminded of his place when he wasn’t even invited to the ceremony. Looking back, he was sure that Hashirama told her some convenient excuse, which would paint Tobirama in the worst possible light and dissuade Mito from approaching him on her own. Sowed the discord right from the beginning to keep them apart. Given how the rest of the clan behaved around him, it likely wasn’t that hard to convince Mito that he was to be avoided.

 

He had only spoken with her for a few minutes today, but it was enough to uncover yet another unpleasant layer of Hashirama’s deception. In a way, he pitied his sister in law. She seemed like a reasonable and formidable woman, who surely deserved better than to be married to a lying scum, who was secretly simping for someone else. He could only hope that their conversation would at least plant a seed of doubt and Mito-hime would pay close attention to her husband’s affairs. Eventually, she might even uncover the truth for herself. She should know that Hashirama wasn’t the kind of family man he was trying to portrait himself as.

 

So engrossed in his pondering the unwitnessed interaction with Hashirama over, staring at the spectacle of dancing stars littering the clear night sky above, Tobirama wasn’t fully aware of Izuna’s approach until the young Uchiha dropped next to him. He could feel Izuna’s searching gaze on himself and so he acknowledged him with a low grunt. The other man had obviously something to say. 

 

‘What’s bothering you?’ Izuna came straight to the matter. 

 

Tobirama quirked his lips up with a smirk that he hoped was rather wry than fond. He was definitely a little touched that Izuna would even care enough to ask, but didn’t want the other man to know to avoid giving him any kind of ammunition for his taunts. ‘Other than you?’ He glanced at Izuna from the corner of his eyes.

 

‘Tchk.’ Izuna huffed and shoved his shoulder. ‘Mean.’ He grumbled sulkily. Tobirama snorted quietly. ‘Other than me, yeah.’ He picked up a twig to start aimlessly digging in the dirt and drawing indistinct shapes with the tip.

 

Tobirama looked at his hands, clasped over his knees in order to keep himself huddled as far into his beloved cloak as possible, and heaved a sigh. ‘Something Hashirama said earlier.’ He replied vaguely.

 

Izuna hummed. ‘What in particular? He said quite a few things that would bother me in your place.’ There was a definitive grudging quality in his voice and he wasn’t even present to witness the worst of Hashirama’s vitriol. It again forced Tobirama to feel a little more fond of the bratty Uchiha. He shook his head at himself. At this rate, he would soon become friends with that insufferable twink.

 

‘Nothing you have overheard. What he said was for no one else’s ears but mine.’ He revealed without the intention of going into detail. Those issues were his own to learn to live with.

 

Izuna hummed in a way that indicated he connected the dots. ‘Is that where you disappeared? To have a private chit-chat with him? We saw you with the Senju.’ He glanced at him from the corner of his eye.

 

‘Not voluntarily.’ Tobirama felt the immediate need to clarify. ‘Hashirama intercepted me. I have nothing more to say to him.’ He declared vehemently.

 

His companion snorted quietly. ‘Calm your tits, I’m not accusing you of anything. You would have to be incredibly stupid to want to defect back to them. Insane? Yes, that you definitely are. But not stupid.’ Izuna continued to doodle idly, now in the middle of something that vaguely resembled a cat. Or a potato with ears. That was anyone’s guess.

 

Tobirama nibbled on his lower lip for a moment. It wasn’t as easy to share his feelings as he would have liked. On the other hand, Izuna wasn’t pushing the matter. Even more so, he was definitely deliberately projecting a calming chakra at him, which was endearingly encouraging. He licked his lips in order to soothe the previous abuse of the flesh. ‘Actually, it was him who accused me of betrayal.’ He confessed quietly. No matter how much he tried not to let Hashirama’s outburst get to him, he was quite dejected that his own brother would think so lowly of him.

 

Izuna bristled next to him. ‘For joining the Uchiha? Wasn’t that his own doing since he cast you out personally? Surely he’s not that delusional?’ He raised his voice in his agitation, so Tobirama shushed him subtly. It wouldn’t do to wake up Madara or Hikaku and cut their rest short. They deserved the reprieve.

 

‘No. It’s about Madara specifically. You remember when our brothers used to secretly meet by the Naka river, right?’ He looked up at his companion, fully willing to open up since he could feel that Izuna was sincere with his concern and ready to hear him out. And he could really use someone to vent to,  to get this off his chest, preferably without worrying Madara.

 

Izuna made a discontent noise. ‘How could I forget. I could cover for aniki and his frequent getaways only for so long before dad found out. Madara actually awakened his sharingan during that standoff.’ 

 

Tobirama nodded grimly. ‘We already weren’t on the best of terms back then, but when my father caught wind of his slacking off, I still tried to warn him to be more cautious. He wouldn’t listen. Not to me, anyway. All he cared about was his new friend. It didn’t take long for Butsuma to figure out I could tell him, as a sensor, exactly where Hashirama was sneaking off all the time. I didn’t want to tattle on him, but… Well.’ He trailed off, balling his fists tightly. 

 

Izuna growled lowly. ‘What did the dastardly asshole do to you?’ He rightly guessed the revelation was far from pretty.


Tobirama swallowed, trying and failing to get rid of the bile rising in his throat. ‘He beat me up bloody, demanding to know who anija was meeting. You Uchiha have a pretty distinct aura, of course I fucking guessed from the first moment I felt Madara’s fiery chakra that he was one of yours. It wasn’t until he threatened to harm Itama though that I…’ His voice cracked and couldn’t physically continue the narration, memories too painful. 

 

The pictures flashed through his mind, vivid as if it happened yesterday. His beloved little brother crying, dragged out of bed and clueless what was going on, his innocent face scrunched up with wild fear of their father, who was enraged beyond reason. Itama on the verge of hysteria when he saw what Butsuma did to Tobirama, cuts and bruises littering his body. His little brother would later do his best to heal him with his still kind of sloppy spell. Tobirama spilling everything he knew when Itama whimpered after the first harsh slap split his lower lip, entirely undeserving of such cruelty. It was something Tobirama would love to forget about but knew that the memory would remain etched into his brain until the day he died.

 

Izuna’s chakra began to simmer with rage as he understood, even without being told the gruesome details. ‘So you were made to choose between snitching on Hashirama and protecting Itama. And that is what your brother holds against you for so long? Protecting your youngest sibling, who had nothing to do with his own fuck up?’ His eyes were wide with disbelief.

 

‘He said, and I quote, that I have cost him Madara’s friendship and that was something unforgivable. And that I have stolen Madara from him for the second time since he guessed that we… You know.’ He gestured indistinctly. He still had no idea how to label their relationship. 

 

‘Since aniki chose to court you, yes.’ Izuna finished for him. He actually jerked away from him when Tobirama released an unidentifiable noise, something between a wheeze and a howl of rage. 

 

‘He what now?!’ Tobirama demanded, quite uncaring whether he would wake up Hikaku and Madara. He had to mishear, right?

 

‘You must be familiar with the process of courtship? As in the stage before he would ask for your hand in marriage?’ Izuna actually looked slightly alarmed by his reaction. ‘Why the fuck do you think he gave you so many gifts and keeps being openly affectionate with you? It all started with the clothes he gave you.’ He proceeded to explain in a hushed voice, sneaking wary glances at Madara’s still sleeping form. 

 

Seeing that Tobirama had a hard time processing the information, Izuna decided to elaborate further. ‘By offering you to wear his crest, he in extension offered you protection of his own clan and a place in his household, which you readily accepted. I was there as a witness.’ He said deliberately slowly, recognising that Tobirama’s brain wasn’t computing at the moment.

 

‘He has been actively courting you for weeks. Don’t tell me you didn’t know?!’ He ended his monologue with a facepalm since Tobirama’s shocked expression had to speak volumes for him, even though he was currently quite unable to articulate his thoughts. Or string a coherent one together, for that matter.

 

‘He… For real?’ Tobirama’s eyes kept flickering from Madara to progressively more amused Izuna.

 

‘Oh dear. Aren’t you supposed to be a genius or something?’ Izuna snorted, watching Tobirama open and close his mouth like a fish.

 

Tobirama actually scowled. ‘Have you ever considered that different clans might have different courting traditions? For instance, the Senju courtship begins with both participants verbally agreeing on such an event, so that everyone knows where they stand!’ He was conscious that his voice had turned slightly shrilly but he was furious with Madara. He knew that there was something going on between them but since they never addressed it, he just took it for what it was. Companionship with added benefits. He dared not to hope for anything more since Madara probably had to produce heirs, a duty that Tobirama couldn’t possibly fulfil, as he obviously lacked the right bits for childbearing.

 

Izuna rolled his eyes. ‘So he has, not even once, informed you that he’s head over heels for you? It never occurred to you that he loves you beyond reason? I mean, he’s pretty damn obvious to me?’ He gestured a little exasperatedly.

 

All the pieces were finally clicking together. Was he really that oblivious or so deep in denial? Most likely both. Or was Madara not clear enough about his intentions? Probably. Were they both just monumental idiots with atrocious communication skills? Definitely. Tobirama stared into the fire for a good long while, contemplating whether he wanted to murder Madara or kiss him senseless. Maybe he could attempt both at the same time. Suffocate him with a kiss. 

 

‘I think…’ He eventually began to say.

 

‘Yes? That’s a good start.’ Izuna piped up curiously, watching his inner warfare with gleeful interest.

 

‘That your brother and I need to have a serious conversation.’ He finished, turning to look at Izuna, who was wearing a completely deadpan expression. 

 

The eyeroll which followed was enough to convey his sentiments. ‘No kidding.’ The younger man muttered under his breath. ‘And they call me dense. Bloody idiots, the pair of you.’ He shook his head. 

 

Tobirama bared his teeth in a sneer, refraining from any further comments. It wasn’t like Izuna was wrong. But he wouldn’t give him the pleasure of admitting as much out loud. How could something so important slip his attention?

 

‘So, now that we’ve breached the topic…’ Izuna leaned closer, suddenly quite serious.

 

Groaning, Tobirama heaved a resigned sigh. ‘Don’t tell me you’re going to put me through a shovel talk.’ 

 

Izuna gave him a funny look. ‘What? Nah. I just wanted to ask if you really feel the same as that poor besotted sod.’ He gestured to Madara’s curled up form. ‘I have no doubts about him but you…’ He trailed off. ‘You are hard to read.’ 

 

‘Huh?’ Tobirama shot him a startled look. The way Izuna was staring at him was way too intense and the scrutiny made him quite uncomfortable. He had to force himself not to squirm under his probing gaze. Was he really trying to get a confession out of him?

 

At the end of his rope, Izuna pursed his lips. ‘Do you love him, Tobirama?’ As was one of his annoying traits, he came straight to the point no matter the awkwardness. He was trying to get a confession then.

 

As predictable as the question was, it still took him by surprise by its simplicity and Izuna’s earnest concern. It wasn’t like he wasn’t fond of Madara, very much so. He cared about him a great deal. But was it love? How was he of all people supposed to know? ‘I don’t think I can tell.’ Tobirama admitted honestly. 

 

Izuna’s brows furrowed. ‘What do you mean, how can you not?’ He obviously wasn’t getting what he meant by that.

 

‘I…’ Tobirama hesitated, staring at his hands. ‘I’m not sure what it feels like.’ He mumbled, his cheeks heating up with the embarrassing admission. With as little affection as he received throughout his life, he just wasn’t sure what loving someone was supposed to be like. 

 

‘Oh.’ Izuna reacted rather dumbly. ‘Well, you’ve loved Itama, haven't you?’ He suddenly asked.

 

‘What does it have to do with anything? He was my brother .’ Tobirama frowned at him. Itama was his closest person, the one he cared most about. But they were siblings. It was generally expected from siblings to like each other, wasn’t it? He cared about all of his brothers, to some extent, despite everything.

 

Izuna snorted. ‘So is Hashirama and there’s clearly no love lost between the two of you.’ He pointed out. ‘But real sibling affection, it’s not so different, it just lacks the romantic aspect. You clearly cared about him a whole lot. You wanted to protect him, to keep him safe. And mourned deeply when you lost him. That’s definitely love. Now do you feel similarly about Madara?’ He tilted his head, peering at him calmly. 

 

Tobirama shook his head at once. ‘No.’ He said decisively.

 

‘No?’ Izuna’s tone of voice, disappointed and dejected, actually startled him. ‘Blessed Amaterasu, that’s going to break his heart…’ He whispered, shooting a devastated glance at Madara’s sleeping form.

 

‘No, I mean…’ Tobirama tugged at his hair in frustration. It was so hard to sort out his feelings. ‘It’s very much not the same.’ He blurted out, reaching out of the depths of his cloak to grab Izuna’s shoulders and shake him a little. The younger man was definitely startled by his wild reaction.

 

He really ought to explain himself more thoroughly. ‘Izuna, I couldn’t even begin to compare the two. I care about your brother so much it terrifies me. When Itama died, it broke my heart to pieces, but I was able to keep it together. Should Madara die, I don’t think I could bear it. My point of living would cease to exist with him. Do you see the difference?’ He must have looked particularly manic because Izuna kept staring at him with eyes wide, so he let go of him and buried his nose into the fluff of his coat, quite embarrassed that he said something so personal to the younger Uchiha.

 

A gentle arm snuck around him and, to his slight mortification, Izuna leaned his head on his shoulder. ‘I think you’re quite alright. I’m glad.’  He whispered, his expression quite soft when Tobirama dared to sneak a peek. 

 

‘So that answered your question?’ He ventured carefully, trying not to be too stiff under Izuna’s weight resting on him. It had to mean he passed whatever test that was, right? Izuna wouldn’t hug him if he was mad at him for not liking his brother enough.

 

‘Exceeded expectations, really. I have no further objections.’ Izuna shifted a little to aim a bright grin at him. Tobirama was slightly wary of the sudden change in behaviour. Though his limited experience with Uchiha did show that once they warmed up to a person, they were prone to assume the ‘ride or die’ kind of attachment. It was kind of sweet, how affectionate they were. ‘It’s quite a relief, to be honest, since we tend to fall in love for life.’ Izuna continued with a shrug.

 

Now this warranted a reaction. ‘How come?’ He did read it somewhere or perhaps heard it as a whispered rumour that their enemies mated for life and once married, separation was almost unheard of, but he thought it was more from practical reasons. 

 

Izuna lifted his head, terribly serious all of a sudden. He seemed to be weighing his options. Whatever he was about to say, it was something he wouldn’t reveal to just anyone. ‘By the will of the sun goddess, we may only truly love once. It is a blessing in equal measure as it is a curse.’

 

Oh. ‘I didn’t know.’ He muttered, staring into the dark void of the night. If what Izuna claimed to be truth, that Madara was in love with him… The implications were overwhelming.

 

‘As you shouldn’t. It is a liability for any Uchiha. An outsider could easily take advantage of feelings so pure, just to get to our powers.’ He tapped his cheekbone, pointing at his eye. 

 

‘Is that why you rarely marry out of the clan?’ He surmised. Sharingan was something the Uchiha guarded jealously. It made perfect sense that they would want to protect it by any possible means. Keeping their community mostly closed off to outsiders was a given in order to preserve its secrets.

 

‘Mhm.’ Izuna confirmed with a hum, stifling a yawn. Once again Tobirama had to appreciate he was voluntarily losing sleep just to keep him company when he correctly guessed he was down on his spirits.

 

‘I see.’ There was still so much to learn about the community he was accepted into. Especially if Madara’s intentions towards him were so much more serious than he had ever dared to hope. At best, he had fancied himself to remain a side piece, an entertainment, once Madara would take a wife. Had he had any idea that he was being courted… Gods. He had a lot to catch up with to properly reciprocate. He had already received a good number of gifts from Madara, so he should respond in kind as soon as an opportunity presented itself.

 

‘Does a heathen like you follow any gods?’ Izuna’s question brought him out of his musings.

 

He blinked a few times as his eyes started watering with the way he was staring into the flames of the campfire, unfocused on reality. ‘I don’t actively worship any, but I do have a reason to believe the god of death keeps special interest in me .’ He responded truthfully.

 

Izuna snorted quietly. ‘I’d wager that fella is none too pleased with your meddling with the souls that should rightfully belong to them.’ He picked up his stick once again to draw an outline of a mask with sharp teeth and horns. A common depiction of Shinigami.

 

Tobirama suppressed a shudder while a memory of the real thing flashed through his mind. He shook his head to dispel the uneasiness it brought upon, even as a wave of chill ran up his spine. ‘I don’t think they are that mad at me.’

 

‘Are you sure?’ Izuna tilted his head, his expression sceptical.

 

‘They wouldn’t have granted me the power to raise the dead when I was a kid, or they could have easily taken them away, were they displeased with how I wield it. Or they could just smite me with their fury.’ He shrugged. He never told a soul about the encounter before. People abhorred him enough just for who he was. To actually admit that he was one of Shinigami’s chosen, or so he believed…

 

‘You speak of it as if you actually met the Shinigami.’ Izuna frowned. He could feel his piercing look studying him, projecting wariness.

 

Tobirama swallowed nervously. ‘I did.’ He confessed, even as he fully anticipated that Izuna would immediately shy away from him.

 

There was silence for a few beats. When he dared to take a peek at him, Izuna’s expression was incredulous. ‘You kidding.’ He asked for a clarification that he did, in fact, hear him correctly.

 

‘Nope.’

 

‘Wow. Each new information about you makes you even weirder.’ Izuna declared without skipping a beat. At this point, Tobirama expected he would start screaming or at least that he would recoil. Instead, the young Uchiha actually leaned closer. He looked around skittishly and licked his lips. ‘What did it look like?’ He whisper-asked, as if he was afraid to speak too loudly, in case his curiosity might offend the deity.

 

Tobirama glanced at the pictogram on the ground Izuna previously drew. Following his sight, Izuna quickly smudged it with a tip of his foot. He wouldn’t take him for superstitious. ‘Ah, it was dark and the memories of their appearance are kind of fuzzy.’ He responded vaguely. Izuna visibly deflated at that. 

 

To appease his interest, Tobirama delved deeper into his recollection of the strange meeting in the sacred forest. ‘What I do remember though, is that its presence was bloodcurdling. I was chilled to the bone marrow, unable to move or speak out of sheer fright. I didn’t need to, as I clearly heard their voice echoing in my head. They said that they would grant me what I most desired, if I’m prepared to pay the price. Looking back, I think they latched onto my grief of losing Itama. Maybe they were curious what I would do with the power to bring back the dead. I don’t even know. I never dared to question their intentions. Or even call upon them.’

 

Izuna seemed to mull all the information over, if the confounded furrow of his brows was anything to go by. ‘And the price you were supposed to pay? Are you still indebted to them?’ He eventually asked.

 

A just question. ‘They never specified, but considering that their gift made me a pariah between my own clan and it cost me everything I had at the time, even my own freedom of will, I consider the debt paid in full.’ Tobirama said, feeling the bitterness on the tip of his tongue. He was a gullible child yearning for his lost sibling and he was taken advantage of. And not just by the Shinigami. If he could help it, he would never use that kind of magic ever again.

 

‘Hmm, when I think about it, you mostly used it to send more souls to the underworld so the god of death must be pleased with the outcome.’ Izuna carried on with his train of thoughts but at that moment, something, or rather someone, crossed the perimeter of his sensing.

 

‘Shh.’ Tobirama shushed and gestured for his companion to quiet down. Then, he reached for a knife. ‘Be alert. We’re not alone anymore.’

Notes:

Hiya, it's been ages since I updated this one. :D I'm in the process of making small rewrites for the previous chapters, nothing that would change the overall story, but adding some context and whatnot... Still, I've been hoarding this update for long enough and on a whim, I decided - why not post it. :D

As per usual, there's no guarantee when the next update comes but rest assured that the work is not abandoned. :) I'm just really busy to write much. Thank you for being patient! <3

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