Work Text:
His wrist felt heavy beneath the weight of his bracelets, as he looked onward to the man who’d been waiting for him outside, standing by with an annoyingly innocent face staring back at him. An airplane took off over their heads and a group rushed by Tanjirou to get inside, one kicking his suitcase by mistake but continuing on their way without looking back. He almost wished he could turn around and join them.
“Why are you here?” He asked, once they were finally alone.
Inosuke quirked a brow at him and shifted on his feet. “...I’m picking you up.”
Oh.
Tanjirou pulled his suitcase closer to his side, pursing his lips and directing his red eyes away to where he couldn’t see him. “...where’s Nezuko?” He then asked, in his best attempt to not sound as disappointed as he felt. While it was nice to see Inosuke after all this time...he wasn’t quite emotionally prepared to face him so soon after touching down from his four hour flight.
“She couldn’t make it.” The other man came forward and stepped up onto the curb. His bike was behind him, shut off and dormant as they spoke. Tanjirou could hardly look at it, without remembering the last time he’d been on it. “She said she texted you.”
He hadn’t looked at his phone in a while, not since he landed, that was for sure...so he may have missed it.
Well...no use looking for the message now.
“Come on, then.” Inosuke held the helmet out to him, but the red-head could only turn away.
They hadnt spoken a word to each other in nearly four years, so it was difficult looking him in the eye now that they were here. He hadn’t expected it either, to be given a ride home from the airport by the very person he’d left behind back then, when he’d gotten himself a place in his University and needed to relocate. A part of him had been distraught that day he’d given him the news, by the way the other man reacted, and another part of him was angry too. Though most of all, he was ashamed. They were both to blame for what happened but...maybe if he’d tried a little harder.
No...maybe if Inosuke had let him...
“Hey! Where are you going?”
“Home.” Tanjirou replied, now ten feet away and descending the side of the pick-up zone to follow the sidewalk out to the main road. Behind him, he could hear Inosuke scramble, and he was left alone only until he’d reached the main level before a familiar roaring of the man’s bike erupted over the sounds of the bustling airport. Then he was passing him along the road, pulling to the side ahead of him to whip his leg back over the saddle so he could approach on the sidewalk from the front. “I can walk.” He insisted. “It’s fine.”
“You don’t have to walk, I–...Tanjirou, are you crazy , your family is miles away!”
“That’s nothing.” Tanjirou pushed past him, keeping his eyes down and away from any sort of expression his old flame could be wearing. He wasn’t sure if he could bear to see him in such close proximity again. Not right now...maybe ever again. At least, not while he was acting like this, like he’d never been at fault for anything between them. Like there wasn’t a four year old gaping hole in his heart that burned at just the sound of his voice. “I’ll catch a bus if I have to.”
Inosuke clicked his tongue, persisting in his chase as Tanjirou passed by where he’d parked the bike. “ Fuck , Tanjirou your sister will kill me if you come home on a bus.” He then said, with an annoyed tone that rang in his ears despite the lack of yelling. It made his blood run hot. “Just–...get on the bike. Come on—”
“ Of course you’d only worry about that, wouldn’t you?” Tanjirou couldn't help turning to face him now, with his bottom lip curled in and his hand squeezing at the handle of his luggage until his knuckles turned white. “Have you forgotten about how much I hurt? Have you forgotten what happened? Why I’m even upset in the first place?”
His outburst was louder than he intended, but it had gotten his point across in one way or another, freezing the other male in his tracks by no doubt reminding him of their past.
The two of them started dating on one cold spring afternoon, after it had rained for nearly three days, leaving the sky grey and without a single ray of sunshine to bathe the Earth in light. Despite this, Tanjirou was optimistic, never feeling down or letting the gloomy weather bother him. He often cheered on his other friends, who could at times be catatonic as they stared out the classroom windows and dreamed of better weather. It would only last a few days after all, so why act as if it were the end of the world?
Inosuke was a boy who didn’t like to dress properly for the season. He felt more comfortable in his summer uniform, with his shirt unbuttoned and his feet either bare or clad in open toed sandals. They didn’t talk much before they all entered high school, but once they did, their connection was immediate. He often saw emerald eyes and deep blue hair when he looked on to where he’d be going. Pearly white teeth and smiles that stretched to his ears.
That day...when Tanjirou had confessed to him...was clear in the beginning. The dark storm clouds appeared to have finally drifted away when he left to go to school, so he didn’t think about bringing his umbrella. He and Inosuke had started walking home together that semester, as they slowly grew closer and hung out together more than anyone else in his small circle of bonds. They were caught in the rain on the way home, without having anything to shield them from the downpour, so they took cover under a bus stop in hopes that it would let up.
As they sat there, beneath the wooden canopy, Tanjirou looked onto the other boy’s lovely features, his dampened hair and the water droplets that fell from the ends of his dark lashes.
He’d confessed right then and there and the two of them stayed together for years.
Until...he received his invitation into the art school of his dreams. It was this that changed everything for them. The day he got it was a cause for celebration, but it was also a heavy letter in his grasp that quickly filled him with anxious concern. He had told Inosuke about it before, about his dreams to study in this very school, but he’d acted flippant with him and changed the subject. So when it came time for him to finally tell him, he was already a nervous wreck, twirling his hanafuda earring with a finger and biting hard on the inside of his cheek.
They would be separated for years if he went....and the longest they’d ever been apart, even since before they became a couple, had only been a few days.
He didn’t want to be a burden to him. He didn’t want Inosuke to have to make the difficult choice if he were to stay or come with him because how in the world could he ever ask him to do such a thing? What gave him the right to ask Inosuke to leave everything behind and go somewhere overseas to do god knows what while Tanjirou studied...? He had a job here, an apartment and friends and a cat to take care of and—
Well.
Tanjirou was only one person.
He was only trying to help, but Inosuke had exploded. The idea of keeping their relationship long distance had infuriated him; his burning green eyes pushing Tanjirou back as he claimed he’d only be abandoning him if he were to go. That he would never be able to live without his presence near, without his touch. If he knew that they were still together, yet he was out of his reach, it would drive him mad and he’d rather Tanjirou stay there with him because he hated change. He liked staying in his familiar places. Where he knew the land and the people.
But he couldn’t do that. “...this is my dream, Inosuke.” He had said, with steady breaths to quell the build up of tears awaiting behind his eyes. “I ..have to go.”
“But—”
“I don't want to force you to be with me if this is only going to hurt you.”
He tried....but that had been the last conversation they had before he was on his plane and leaving to go to school abroad.
And now he was here...picking him up from the airport and acting as if they both didn’t foolishly throw away a relationship that had been built on years of trust and love. They were now just two High School sweethearts torn apart by the reality of adulthood and their own selfish desires, standing in a stalemate just outside the airport. Tanjirou was wounded by the one before him, but the worst part about it, the thing that made him the most frustrated in this moment, was that it seemed as if Inosuke didn’t hurt at all.
What happened to everything they had?
Why was he the only one who still felt that aching in his chest so bad that he could hardly breathe?
The bracelets on his wrist felt heavy.
He decided to make his attempt to leave one more time.
“Tanjirou!” Inosuke shouted his name again, and then a hand grabbed onto his arm. “Wait—”
“Let go!” He tried to pull his arm away but the other man held onto him with an unyielding grip.
“Please–...stop.” His deep voice cracked and sounded desperate, and then finally, his hand released him. Though because of the sudden shift in his tone, Tanjirou did not leave right away, but turned back to him instead with his lips pulled down at the corners in a frown. “I’m...I’m sorry. Okay? I’m just...I dunno’, I feel like an idiot coming here, but I didn’t want to miss this chance...seeing you again.”
He took in a slow breath, feeling his heart jump at the last of his confession. “...you are an idiot, yes.”
Inosuke sighed but otherwise didn’t argue with him. Instead he shrugged his shoulders and pointed his nose to the cement floor between them. He appeared defeated, and Tanjirou decided that it was a good look on him...for now at least.
“... please, let me take you home.”
He’d said please twice within the same hour, so Tanjirou couldn’t just ignore him now .
That, and, he’d already lost his nerve and was now unable to leave the other man here in good conscience. So he released a sigh of his own and came back over to him, with his luggage rolling behind him quietly along the surface of the sidewalk. “Fine,” He then said, finally bringing his gaze up to meet his own, and it was the first time he managed to actually look at him and really see his appearance after all these years. He’d been left unchanged for the most part, still blessed with a unique feminine beauty despite how strong his body had become, looking bigger underneath the fabric of his leather jacket, bigger than what he could ever recall. But his eyes appeared weary as he looked at him, like they’d lost their once familiar light, and he had to stop himself before he reached out to cup his cheeks and stroke those sad feelings away with the pads of his thumbs.
He still had the urge to dote on him, it seemed. Even with this rift between them.
But he didn’t want to let that part of him slip out again...not now. After all, the two of them were long since over...not to mention, He still had a few more months of school to attend as well. This trip was only so that he could pay his Family a visit. It was his first time returning in all these years too, since he’d been trying to save up the cost himself in order to keep his Mother and his Siblings worry free about their financial situation. He’d been planning it since the beginning of the year, with the idea that his younger sister, Nezuko would be coming to get him from the airport so it was quite surprising to see Inosuke there in her place instead.
As he climbed onto the back of Inosuke’s bike and waited for the other man to strap down his bag to the tail, he realized that his sister may have done this on purpose...to bring them back together after all this time apart...
She was always a big supporter of their relationship...had been just as devastated as he the day that they broke up, so that would have made sense...
And if that were the case...he sure had a lot to say to her as soon as he got home.
In the meantime, he tried to distract himself from thinking about how warm he felt, sitting back in his place behind Inosuke, with his arms wrapped around his waist and his nose buried between his shoulder blades. His scent was stronger now that he was closer, now that he was up against him and drifting through the wind across city streets at night, with his eyes closed and his teeth biting down on his lip to push away the nostalgia and the heartache. He smelled nice...wearing no cologne but tickling his nose with the familiar scent of sweat and oaktree, the blue ends of his hair brushing against his forehead and filling his nostrils with rain.
It was raining when he told Inosuke he liked him. A nice memory ...but he wanted to distract his mind with something else.
“Thanks...” He uttered, once they’d pulled into the driveway and let the engine settle into a full stop. The Kamado house was quiet as they arrived but all the bottom floor lights were on and the night was still young so he was sure that they were all still awake, perhaps just about to eat dinner or finishing it up at least. He climbed off the back of the bike in silence, unbuckling his helmet and then turning to hand it over, but paused to watch as Inosuke dismounted as well and then began to unstrap his travel bag from the back. Once it was off his bike and on the ground, the man rolled it over to him and exchanged it for the helmet, though only to set it down on the back where he’d sat on the way there before following him up to the front door.
He wasn’t sure why he followed, but he didn’t ask. He let him come along, up until they were on the front doorstep and he’d raised a hand to ring the doorbell.
“Forgot your key?” Inosuke asked him.
Tanjirou was silent at first, unsure if he actually wanted to answer his attempt at being casual or not, but as he heard the approach of fast footsteps, he obliged.
“I didn’t bring it with me when I left.”
“Oh.”
Then the door opened and they were both greeted by Hanako and Shigeru, his middle siblings, who were practically glued at the hip like twins. “Ah!! Tanjirou!” He was immediately swarmed by teenage arms, pulling him in and embracing him as they called out to his Mother who was standing in the kitchen, judging by where Hanako’s attention had gone. They practically dragged him inside so he could take his shoes off and place his bag onto the hardwood floor, and as he did so, they spoke to him about so many things at once with such urgency that he nearly missed it all.
“Hold on, hold on...” He held a hand up, feeling both overwhelmed but incredibly happy to be in their presence again. “Let me take my stuff upstairs. You can tell me everything when I come back down.”
“Oh good idea!” Hanako agreed with a chirp, bouncing slightly on her feet in a terrible attempt to hide her excitement. “Mom is almost done with dinner! She was trying to time it right so you could eat with us.”
“Okay.” He pat his hand on the top of her head, and then did so for Shigeru too and he felt his heart swell with warmth at how happy the gesture made them. He missed them so much...but as he said, he would need to get things settled upstairs before he could relax. So, with one last glance at Inosuke, who stood in the doorway, just barely on the other side of the threshold, he gave him a subtle nod goodbye before pulling his bag upstairs.
Shigeru’s loud gasp put a halt to his movements once he’d reached the landing. “Whoa! Inosuke!” Hanako’s voice exclaimed as well, as they both most likely finally noticed the presence on their doorstep now that their brother was gone. “Are you staying for dinner too?!’
He could hear Inosuke’s boot slide across the cement outside their door, his uncertain tone as he replied. “I...don’t think I should.”
“Aw! Why not?” Hanako’s voice was obnoxiously disappointed, but he knew better than to think it was just so she could be dramatic. She probably honestly felt upset at the man’s answer and that...that pulled a bit at Tanjirou’s heartstrings. “You stopped coming around after our brother left...it’s almost like you went away with him!”
No...but he didn’t. Tanjirou wished that he had but he didn’t. He wished that they could have made it work regardless but...they didn’t.
He didn’t desire to hear anything more out of their conversation, so he moved on, rolling his bag along to the end of the hall and opening the door to his old bedroom.
The door shut rather loudly, Inosuke could hear it from downstairs and outside, even over the chattering of the young Kamado siblings that tried to reach out and pull him in as well. He resisted them and their temptations, however, because he felt like it wasn’t his place. That Tanjirou had given him that look for a reason and was now upstairs and out of sight and most likely hoping that he’d go away. It was hard to turn away from them though, from their big red eyes and their hopeful smiles.
They were like his little siblings too, once upon a time, in a memory that now felt like a fading dream.
His chest ached..
“Come on!” Hanako was stronger now after three and a half years of separation from their family, able to gather a handful of his jacket and pull him inside while his guard was down. She and her brother Shigeru worked as a team to capture him, as he circled around to shut the door and lock the deadbolt before he could turn and make his escape. He could have easily done so if he really wanted to though–it wasn't hard to unlock a door–but instead, he let them have their victory and he threw his boots into the corner to follow where they beckoned him.
“Hey Mom, look who’s here!”
They dragged him into the kitchen, where their Mother stood with her hands up in a cupboard to retrieve a stack of bowls. Kie lowered her arms and turned curiously, then to his surprise, a smile formed on her lips as she placed the bowls onto the counter. “Inosuke, it’s good to see you,” She then said, with a voice so silky and sweet that he felt his body sway. He missed it a little more than he thought. “Thank you for going to get Tanjirou tonight. I know the two of you haven't spoken in a while but I’m sure he really appreciated it.”
He fought the urge to scoff at her. “...r-right. No problem.”
Like Tanjirou would ever honestly thank him for anything ever again after what he’d done.
“He’s gonna stay for dinner, is that okay??”
Ah. Inosuke glared down at the kid standing next to him–Shigeru, the third oldest of the brothers–smiling without a care in the world while saying such ridiculous things like that. “Ah, no.. No.” He shook his arm away from him, where the boy had clung to in order to help his sister drag him into the room. “I should probably go.”
Kie tilted her head a fraction, with an expression he’d come to know very well after the many years he’d been given the chance to be a part of their Family. He knew exactly what she wanted to say, and he was afraid if she did , he wasn’t going to be able to reject her.
“Are you sure? There’s enough for you too.”
Ah...shit.
Would Tanjirou get angry with him again?
“O-..Okay..”
They were just...too nice. All of them. How could they look at him and treat him like he was still a part of their Family? He didn’t understand it, and most importantly, he couldn’t understand the tight feeling he had in his chest as they cheered and dragged him over to the living room, where Takeo sat watching TV with his legs up on the cushion, only to make room for him with recognition and happiness lighting up his features.
He recognized the feeling soon enough, however, as the three of them sat around him and caught up while waiting for their brother to come downstairs.
He missed them too. Not just Tanjirou. But their whole family.
He missed this. Being a Kamado too.
But...
“I’m home!” The front door opened and they all looked on as Nezuko entered the genkan and began to slip her heels off. Behind her, a familiar head of blond emerged, closing the door behind them and shivering despite the thick looking fabric of his black turtleneck shirt. Inosuke frowned in their direction as the rest of the Kamado’s greeted them normally, though Hanako didn’t leave his side for a second, holding his hand and leaning on his arm as if they had a million things to catch up on. She almost didn't even spare her older sister a single glance.
“Welcome home. How was dinner?”
“Delicious.”
Nezuko wandered into the kitchen to speak further with Kie after that, and in the meantime, the blond wandered over to where they were in the living room. Zenitsu’s lips quirked upward slightly once he saw him, most likely to tease him for bending to the pressure that was Tanjirou and Nezuko’s younger siblings and he was incredibly close to flipping him off and leaving, but the eldest girl returning distracted him, as she stepped into the living room to greet the others and then stand erect in surprise once her pink eyes had spotted him.
“Oh. You’re still here.”
“...yeah.”
Zenitsu had his hands in his pockets, appearing rather cocky knowing that Inosuke was trapped within the grasp of one of the many Kamado siblings.
“So...did you two get back together or what?”
There was a creak upstairs and the whole room was quiet.
Then, Nezuko’s fingers flicked the middle of her boyfriend’s forehead with a loud crack and as he floundered in a startled cry, the young woman made her way over to the back of the couch to reach over and pat him on his shoulder. “Thank you for covering for me, by the way.”
Inosuke grunted in affirmation, even though he was sure she did it on purpose.
He was starting to get the feeling that both of them had planned this...to go out on a date to dinner on the evening her older brother was supposed to be arriving. As if they didn’t have any other day of the week to go...
Figures.
“Is Tanjirou upstairs?”
“Yeah!” Hanako finally raised her head to look at them. “He’s getting settled in before dinner.”
Nezuko pushed away from the couch and returned to the front hall, no doubt so she could run upstairs to greet her older brother like she should have at the airport earlier that evening. Inosuke grumbled lowly to himself as the girl’s boyfriend circled around the couch to sit at the other end and He didn’t even have to look at him to know that he was about to say something that was probably only gonna tick him off. So he side eyed him, growling a deep “Don’t fucking say it.” but instead of the other other man heeding his word, he got a backhanded smack against his chest from the teenage girl beside him for cursing and Zenitsu’s stupid question was asked anyway.
“...how did it go?”
Ugh. He rolled his eyes.
An absolute disaster. He’d almost lost Tanjirou to a bus for fuck’s sake.
What was he thinking? When Nezuko had approached him some weeks ago to ask him to do this for her, he should have just refused . He should have just gone away somewhere else. Back to the woods, perhaps, to go on that month-long camping trip he’d been trying to plan out for a while. By himself...where no one could bother him. Where Sisters of his Ex-Boyfriend couldn’t come searching, with an idea to offer that could burrow into his heart like a parasite and give him hope. Where he wouldn't have been judged for picking up his drinks again...for wanting to waste away in the only place he felt comfortable now. Staring into the sky, looking at stars and convincing himself that Tanjirou–wherever he was in the world–was looking at the same one at that same exact moment.
Damn.
He shouldn't be here.
Nothing could go back the way it was...not after all this time.
“Inosuke?” Zenitsu called out to him curiously but he didn’t answer. Instead, he separated himself from the girl by his side and rose to his feet. “Dude–” The blond tried again, reaching for him as he circled around the couch but he pressed forward, back to the entryway of the front hall, at the foot of the stairs, where he then ran straight into another body.
Tanjirou.
His hands sprung back like they had been burned after he’d instinctively grabbed at the other’s arms to steady him. Red eyes followed the motion, darting down between them and back up and then Inosuke reeled back to put space between them. Nezuko came down to the last step as this happened, as the two of them refused to speak a word to each other, as Tanjirou raised a hand to hold onto his own wrist with fingers playing with the yellow and green bands of his bracelets. The ones that Inosuke had given him as a gift one distant and eventful sunny day. They’d gone to a music festival together that summer, just the two of them, and he’d found the handcrafted bracelets to be a nice gift for his boyfriend at the time...and he’d never taken them off after that. Not even now it seemed.
He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.
“Are you leaving?” Nezuko asked this instead of her Brother, since it was starting to look like Tanjirou wouldn’t say anything more than what the emotion behind his eyes conveyed.
Inosuke frowned and stepped down into the genken to find his shoes. While he put them on, Tanjirou didn’t leave to go anywhere, but instead kept quiet and still, as if he were waiting for something. Watching him, with dark cherry eyes burning into the back of his skull as if he wanted Inosuke to say something... do something... but...He didn’t know what. He didn’t know what Tanjirou wanted. Honestly, he should just spit it out already if it really was that important. Otherwise...he needs to leave.
Inosuke was never very good with people. It was a miracle in itself that Tanjirou ever let him into his life in the first place. He wasn’t always around kind and open minded folk like him, growing up in Foster Care, surrounded by strangers, new faces, new towns, new schools one after the other until he’d finally found them. The Kamado’s. Fire like scars and rough hands, but understanding and welcoming eyes, gentle eyes that looked at him as if he were important . One of a kind and someone who was deserving of stability. Love.
He wasn’t used to it at first so he was rough with him, pushed him around and claimed he was fine on his own, but...over time, Tanjirou had become someone he always looked forward to seeing. The only person he let touch him for more than a fleeting moment. The only person he wanted to stay close by his side and to gaze upon him in sweet affection.
Once he’d managed to have it for himself, Tanjirou’s adoration, his hands on him, his eyes, his lips, his everything –...he just didn’t know how to live without it.
Without him, the days came and went in a blur and now it was three and a half years later and Tanjirou was here and looking at him with darkened eyes...never a smile. That warm kindness he’d grown so fond of was overshadowed by his disappointment and perhaps even anger.
“Sorry.” He uttered, without looking back. “I gotta go.”
He was an idiot but he was also an idiot with a stupid ego and too much pride to turn and wallow on his knees and beg for forgiveness. He knew he wouldn’t get it anyway, not this soon after the red-head’s return, so he decided that he would leave it for another day and just go home. Home to where he’d eat his own dinner and sit on his own couch. Where he’d fall sideways and drift to sleep without a blanket so he could move on from this awkward and unsuccessful night. Forget about it. As if Tanjirou never came back at all.
But he could not have that peace that he wanted...not really.
Of course, just knowing the man was in town at all was enough to keep Inosuke’s mind occupied. For days, he wrestled with himself, with his emotions and his desires but he merely wasted his time on all of these occasions, time where he could have been focusing himself on other things, like his stupid job and his stupid hobbies.
He’d finally managed to start living his life without constantly thinking about red eyes and red hair but then Nezuko just had to come and mess everything up and get his mind thinking again. And now...
Now he feels like melting into the Earth and going somewhere far away.
Now he slumps back on his porch with his feet kicked up and his green eyes staring uselessly into the grey sky. His phone lay dormant on the table beside him, next to the empty ashtray he hadn’t used in weeks. He’d picked up the habit of smoking again while he was alone, but it was that damned Kamado girl who’d gotten him off of it, that day she climbed up the stairs to greet him in front of his apartment and then brutally picked him apart for being a health and nature enthusiast who had turned to damaging himself from the inside out.
So what if he did , he had thought.
But then she told him that Tanjirou was coming home.
He cleaned up for him. He even showed up an hour early with an extra helmet newly purchased so that the other man wouldn't have to worry about one of them riding without protection like he used to. Yet, once the sliding doors opened and Tanjirou noticed he was there...he couldn’t even look at him.
Serves him right. He doesn't even know why he tries.
Inosuke was never very good with people. Tanjirou was no different. Apparently.
Just another self destructive failure. He almost laughed at the thought.
But then his phone started ringing, and he pulled his eyes away from the looming dark clouds to pick it up. As he read the caller ID, he had half the mind to set the phone back down and continue with his day, but...he wasn’t doing anything anyway and since the girl knew where he lived, he was sure she’d just come stomping up to his doorstep if it was really that important.
These Kamados...they really do just love to make sure people are included in everything.
Inosuke lifted the phone to his ear as he picked up the line. “What?”
“Are you an idiot?”
Oh. Well. He didn’t expect that to burst from the girl’s lungs, of all things. “No!” a pause, and he backtracked “Sure. Sometimes. What now? ”
Nezuko released an exasperated sigh from the other end of the line and the sound was enough to force him to hold his phone a few inches away from his ear. “Look.” Her voice lowered, steadying itself but still quite stern. “Because he’s my older brother, I will always take his side. But even then...you have to admit, a lot of this is your fault.”
Inosuke sucked in a breath and shot forward in his seat. “What are you—”
“He tried , Inosuke.” Nezuko wasn’t listening to him, he realized, just speaking her mind and doing what she could to keep her words from cracking in her throat. “He tried and you only met him with resistance and he loved you. He still loves you.” He rose to his feet and stepped forward to lean his hands on the railing before him, squeezing tight as she continued. “I know long distance doesn’t sound appealing and it isn't entirely the best option for most couples but it’s something . It means you can still trust each other. Be dedicated to each other, does it not?”
“Why are you saying all of this now? ” Inosuke asked her between clenched teeth. Feeling his chest tighten, his head feel light. “You think I don’t already know the mistake I made?”
“Both of you made mistakes, but it’s you that he’s been waiting for all week to come back to him.”
Inosuke’s mouth opened and closed, his mind blank. “...what?”
Nezuko was quiet but then, after a moment, she released another sigh. This time it was softer, more defeated, and once she spoke again, her tone had lowered almost into a whisper. “I told you, when I asked you to pick him up for me...that he was coming to visit.” He nodded uselessly, despite the fact they were on the opposite sides of town from each other where she couldn’t see. “ Visit. Inosuke. He’s not here for good.”
Oh.
Inosuke couldn’t find the words he wanted to say. Couldn’t muster up anything in the light of this revelation. That...Tanjirou was only here for a short amount of time and he’d wasted it. That Tanjirou...his lovely, sweet, sometimes too sweet Tanjirou...had been waiting for him. Despite what he’d done. Despite what he’d said. Despite all those years they didn’t talk...all those years that he—
He...he still wore the bracelets. His gifts.
Why?
“Tanjirou’s leaving today, Inosuke.” Nezuko spoke up again after a few minutes of listening to nothing from him. She sounded frustrated again, yet that all too Familiar Kamado hopefulness still rang in her voice as she added. “I thought that maybe you two would have talked before he had to go back but he’s leaving in less than an hour and he’s really down—”
“I’ll be there.” He blurted out, as his heart jumped in his throat and his eyes widened in a flurry of panic. He spun around to swing open his door and grab his shoes, the sandals he had discarded just on the other side and he nearly fell down the stairs as he ran down toward the street. “I’ll be there.” He then repeated, raspy and out of breath, before hanging up and shoving his phone deep into his pants pocket.
He really was an idiot. A selfish idiot who never learned.
He knew that Nezuko had mentioned it was only a visit, but he still treated it like it was permanent anyway. He only thought of himself, brought himself home and turned his shoulder away with the promise he’d go talk to him another day. But that other day would never come and he knew it. He never would have put himself forward again because no matter how tough he tried to act, no matter how proud he could be, he was still too scared to confront Tanjirou. He was scared to confront them and their relationship that could have still existed all this time if he’d just been a better man. A better boyfriend.
Having him back in his life, even for that brief few hours of time between picking him up at the airport and dropping him off had reminded him of everything that they had lost. It had pulled at his heart viciously and cruelly, like the universe would never let him forget how he’d broken this man’s heart once and he would most definitely do it again. It scared him. It scared him so much, to be apart from him, but before that emotion had the chance to register for him in his mind, he had retaliated with fury and pushed the other away. He’d ruined everything and he was doing it all over again, even now.
God, how was he supposed to know that was what Tanjirou wanted?
How was he supposed to know anything ? He was not good with people, but all be damned he wanted to do right by Tanjirou so badly, he couldn’t stand to be this pathetic for a second more.
Inosuke wiped his arm along the front of his face, smearing what felt like hot tears across his cheeks as he sprinted across town in the direction he knew he’d find the Kamado house. His lungs burned like fire but he pushed himself further without stopping, because he knew that if he hesitated even a little, he could miss his chance. He could miss Tanjirou completely and this window of opportunity would be lost to them forever.
In all those sappy movies he and Tanjirou would fall asleep to while lounging on the couch, he could recall flowers being offered to those the main character had upset. Sometimes it was a side character, who would purchase a bouquet of daisies or roses or whatever they could find, so that when they returned to their love whom they hurt, everything would be all better and they’d kiss and make up and they’d have their happy ending before the credits rolled. He always thought it was stupid, doing such a thing, but he’d also never been put in a position like that before either...not until now.
But there was nowhere to go buy a bouquet of flowers in time, not to mention he’d left his wallet at home in his haste. So the man took a quick pause to kneel to the ground and tear out a fistful of flowers from in front of a neighboring home’s fenceline. He hardly bothered with the exposed roots and chunks of dirt that clung in desperation, as he then stood and continued onward, until finally, that familiar head of wine red was in sight, carrying a bag outside and headed straight for the car parked in the driveway.
“You have everything?” Nezuko followed him out with Zenitsu on her tail and Tanjirou nodded slowly. Originally it was her boyfriend that was going to be driving him back to the airport that day, but she had come running down the stairs like she’d wanted to say something, but instead followed him out with her shoes on, as if she wanted to go with them too. He didn’t mind though; it would be nice to spend a little more time with his sister while he had the chance. “Are you sure? You have your sweater? Your toothbrush? What about your socks? Do you have enough socks? Should we go check?”
“Yes?” He wondered if she was trying to stall his departure...so that he wouldn't have to leave their Family yet again, but...As much as he wanted to stay, that just couldn’t happen. “It’s fine,” Tanjirou smiled at her softly, then reached out to take her hand and squeeze it in reassurance. “I’ve got clothes back at school so it’s alright if I forget something.”
“Sure, but—”
“T-Tanjirou!”
All three of them faced the source of the outburst in surprise.
Inosuke, while completely out of breath, panting and clinging to a handful of disturbed flora, stood at the end of the driveway with a red face and shining green eyes. It took him a moment to realize that the sheen over his emerald irises was the build up of tears, and upon that realization, Tanjirou dropped everything. His Sister’s hand, his luggage. And as the other man continued his approach, stuffing his nose into his arm to rub at his wet tears, Nezuko and Zenitsu quickly left them be, the younger Kamado being the one to usher the other quickly before they dared get in the way of this happening.
“Inosuke, I...” Tanjirou shook his head, his hand reaching out blindly for his bag. “I don’t have time for this, my plane—”
“No–” Inosuke’s voice sounded so coarse and desperate, as he stumbled forward and nearly fell to his knees as he reached out to cling to him and the back of his shirt. “Tan, please , I never beg for anything but now–...you gotta’ hear me out.” His eyes were overflowing with tears, now worse than before as Tanjirou tried to push him away, but the hold he had on him with his sad green eyes was stronger and he eventually had to give in. He now looked down at the man who’d come running after disappearing for the entire week of his visit. Who now seemed to be just as hurt as he had thought he would be, pitiful and hysterical and his heart weeped for him. It swelled in his chest and pounded against the back of his ribcage a sad song for them both and he placed his hands up on his sides to steady him, touching him willingly and with purpose because no matter what happened in the past or here in the present, he still cared for him so much.
He cared so much that it pained him..
“I promise...I promise you..” Inosuke tore his gaze away from him but only for a moment so that he could shake his head and sniff loudly. When he looked back up, the tears had doubled, his nose had become wet and his hands clung to the back of his shirt even harder. “I know you're disappointed. I know– but...I promise you that I can do better. I can be better. I didn’t mean to say those things to you back then, I just...I...I didn’t know how to deal with it and what would happen to me not having you around and...long distance...whatever the fuck that even meant .. I didn’t know . I was scared , Tanjirou. I was sc–....I’m sorry –...I’m–...”
He could hardly finish his train of thought, gasping for air in a hiccup that bubbled up in him from all the excitement. He hung his head, pressing his forehead into Tanjirou’s chest and pulling him in even closer and He let him, even as his body shook, even as his knees began to feel weak like jelly.
Tanjirou was on the verge of losing his composure as well, seeing Inosuke in such a distraught state, crying harder than he’d ever witnessed with his own eyes, even after all these years of knowing each other.
He’d been so devastated before, hurt that Inosuke once again came across as nothing but nonchalant and flippant when their paths crossed, but this...this was different. This was as if he’d realized all of his mistakes, all of their mistakes and now he just...wanted him back. He wanted his second chance. He wanted to apologize and have forgiveness.
Tanjirou wanted him back too.
So terribly. The day they ended things was not an easy one and he had always regretted it in multiple ways. He always tried to look back on it to see what it was that he could have changed, what Inosuke could have changed and what could have been if they’d just come to an understanding .
But now they were here. A cloudy day and it would probably rain soon. Just like the day they first got together. Back when they were kids and everything was so simple and innocent. Where a miscommunication such as this could have felt like the end of the world but really would have meant nothing. Well...it still wasn’t quite the end of days but...to him, it definitely meant a lot more than just what a little gossip around a playground could ruin. He loved Inosuke. He wanted him to be everything in his life and more. He wanted him to support him in his dreams and love him back just the same. Back then, when he’d said all those things that tore him apart, he had thought of him as someone who was suddenly uncaring and selfish. A bad person.
But Inosuke was never a bad person. He was just...a boy who’d never faced this sort of situation before. The sort of situation that drove him apart from someone he actually relied on and cared about. Someone who slept with him in his bed and cooked him meals and counted stars with him while laying in the grass in the middle of the night. Someone who loved him unconditionally when no one else did.
Tanjirou released a quiet, shaky breath, and he gripped the man’s shoulders to push him away. But only by a little, enough to fit some space between them, before he sunk to the ground and kneeled before him. Inosuke fell fully to his knees to follow him, then looked on as the red-head reached out and used a thumb to wipe away the heavy tears that had flooded his cheeks.
“I’m sorry too.” He whispered, smearing both tears and snot away from his upper lip with gentle, careful strokes. “I never meant to put so much stress on you that day. I had just hoped we could make it work.”
Inosuke clung to the sides of his shirt again, though this time with a looser grip as he hardened his emerald gaze. “I can make it work. I will make it work.” He swallowed a lump in his throat and added, “If–...If you’ll let me. I ..want to be your boyfriend again...and I swear I’ll be the best boyfriend to you. I’ll be patient and I’ll wait for you to come home for good. I’ll talk to you every night over the phone and I’ll ask you how your day was and all that sappy shit. I just...I miss you so much. ”
Tanjirou found his ability to smile at the man.
“I missed you too.” breathing this out, he leaned forward and pressed his lips firmly over the other’s and the hands that held onto his shirt tightened their grip in alarm. Dirt was no doubt staining the soft beige fabric of his t-shirt now but he honestly didn’t care. Because he had Inosuke in his arms. His Inosuke. Back within his hold and melting against him as they knelt in the driveway with their tear soaked lips moving in slow, yearning kisses. Fingers gripped tight at the hairs at the base of his head as the man’s breath shook against his mouth, warm wetness spilling again and mixing with his own where their skin touched. He didn’t want to let go of him; he wanted to kiss him more, wanted to go home with him and spend another day here in this place by his side before he went back to school but–...
Tanjirou’s lips pulled away from him slowly, as he leaned back on his legs and slid his hands down the man’s arms to hold him. “I have to go...”
“N-No I—”
“I’ll miss my plane.” He reached forward, tucking a piece of his unkempt black and blue hair behind his ear. “Those aren’t cheap y’know..?”
Inosuke looked like he was seconds away from bursting into another fit of tears, with a cross of both frustration and grief reflecting in his large green eyes. Tanjirou knew now that the frustration wasn’t immediately directed at him, but more the whole situation, and knowing that was what made this feel a little more at ease. Just knowing that he wanted so terribly to have him stay just as badly as he wanted to...was reassuring enough in it’s own right.
“I’ll be home for good in a few months.” Tanjirou informed him. “I’m almost done.”
He nodded slowly, finally pulling a hand away to rub furiously at his reddened cheek. “Okay...okay. I’ll wait.”
“When I get back...let’s pick up where we left off okay?” Tanjirou said this as he then finally pushed himself up onto his feet and after receiving a nod in reply to this request, he helped the other man up with an extended hand. Once they were standing and steady on their shaken legs and palpitating hearts, they exchanged a smile, both from relief and happiness.
Then...Inosuke presented the flowers.
“These uh...these were for you.”
Were was the keyword here, as the flowers had been completely crushed under his intense grip while he clung to him and sobbed.
Tanjirou took them anyway. “...thank you.”
Inosuke’s teeth were shown as he managed to smile a little wider and then the red-head spoke without thinking.
“Wanna take me back to the airport?”
“Yes.” came the man’s immediate answer, but then he paused as he turned and the both of them realized what was missing. “...Oh right.” Inosuke nodded slowly as he faced him again, raising a hand to his puffy eyes and wiping away what was probably left from his anguished sobs from moments ago. “I ran here.”
Tanjirou released a quiet chuckle. “...want to come with us then?”
“Yes.” He answered immediately again, and then Tanjirou turned to go fetch his Sister from where she was clearly hiding behind the cracked open front door. Embarrassed, the girl scrambled once she was caught, reaching out to grab her boyfriend by the collar and the car keys from the hook on the wall.
The car ride with the two of them up front had a strange sort of tension in the air, as he and Inosuke sat together in the backseats with their hands only about an inch away from each other as if neither of them dared make that first step so soon. Pink eyes kept looking at them from the rearview mirror, and he was sure that a certain pair of almond orbs had been wanting to take a curious peek as well, but neither of them bothered the old couple while they drove. Not even after Tanjirou finally broke the stalemate and let his hand wrap Inosuke’s up within its grasp.
It felt good to have him in his hands again. It felt right .
“Please be safe,” Nezuko exclaimed, as he released her from his embrace and moved on to say his goodbyes to Zenitsu.
“Yeah, text us when you land.” The blond then said, stepping back and away toward the car to grab hold of the door handle.
“Kay.” Tanjirou turned to Inosuke then, who had been waiting patiently with his green eyes staring, watching, even as they were red and puffy from his crying. “I’ll call you tonight?”
The man stood erect and his expression lit up instantly. “Y-Yeah! I’ll answer!”
Feeling affection bubble up within him, Tanjirou stepped forward to hug him close, bringing their chests together and seeking out the comforting scent of his body and his hair. The oaktree musk and the smell of rain..like the day he’d confessed and kissed him under the overhang of the bus stop. He was young and in love, convinced that they would be together forever. And for a while there it felt like that maybe he’d been completely wrong...proven by the universe that not all happy stories had a happy end.
But it was better now. He believed again. They’d be alright.
“I love you.” He said this quietly between them as he parted ways, before grabbing the handle of his suitcase and taking a step back toward the door. “Always have.”
Inosuke’s warmth blossomed in his chest as his cheeks turned a very familiar shade of rosy pink.
“I love you too.” He replied, with a hiccup of a laugh between his words, and the dirt on his palm a reminder of his promise. Their promise. “Always will.”
He would not waver from the truth behind his words...never again. For he was lucky enough just to have this chance back. To have him back, even as his fate whisked him away to somewhere he could not always see him. But at least...the longest wait was now over, leaving them only a few months apart to dream of each other’s presence again. And he knows that he’d gone and told Tanjirou that he’d be a much more patient man from now on but he just couldn’t help thinking about the day he could come to the airport and pick him up for real. As boyfriends again. Who’d come together in a tight embrace and kiss to pour all of their emotion into each other, all accumulated over the months of separation, making it all that much better...
And hey...maybe, when putting it that way, this long distance thing wasn’t so bad after all.
He could do a little waiting if that was the case, and he’d be patient about it too. Just as he promised. Then again...he could still hardly wait. Inosuke would be counting the days, that’s for sure.
But for now...he’d come home with Nezuko and Zenitsu, have dinner with the Kamado’s, and slowly but surely begin to feel like himself again.
He was right where he needed to be. Just as he should have been all along.