Archive of Our Own ^beta

It takes human society a while to accept werewolves but even once they do there are still a few hurdles to get over. Some humans don't understand pack bonds, there are new laws that have to be made to account for the differences between werewolves and humans, and it takes everyone ages before they realize that no, there's really not an Alpha, Beta, Omega dynamic or hierarchy or whatever they humans wanted to call it. A pack has an Alpha, a leader, but that's it. Once all that's out in the open it gets a little easier.

By the time Buck moves to LA the world has settled down and werewolves are just a thing that exist. It's much different from when his parents were growing up, having to hide in the shadows and hope no one discovers them. Wolves are able to shift in public now, there's mandatory full moon leave (they can't help but shift then after all, that lore is at least true even though most fairy tales are BS), and it's a happy discovery to find out that most athleisure clothing actually shifts with them so there's no more random nakedness in public.

And if it means Eddie gets to see Buck in the standard issue werewolf tight pants at work, painted on jeans or even leggings (god help him the man wears leggings) when they're out and about, all the better.

There are things that make a wolf stand out even among their own kind. Things that make them more rare or unique than the others. Wolves come in many different colors and coat patterns, their pelts as widely varied as human coloring. It can lead to some interesting looking wolves or some wolves that simply look like german shepherds but are much, much bigger.

("Maddie looks like a large dark Dingo," Buck declares one time.

"I do no- holy crap I do...")

Size is also a thing. Most wolves are larger than humans think but even among wolves there are big wolves. Eddie's a little bigger than the average werewolf- he's even slightly bigger than Bobby- but he's nothing to contact the record books about, and he has a typical black and grey coat. So he's unusual size-wise, but that's about it.

Christopher's such a pretty light brown color. Deerhide Buck calls it, the same golden brown as his hair and black tipped paws. He's still on the smaller side but he's young yet, tail wagging all over the place and happily tapping his nails on the hardwood to barrel into Buck.

"Oof," Buck wheezes as he allows himself to be tackled backwards, Christopher doing his best to crawl into Buck's lap while frantically licking at Buck's neck. "Happy to see you too, buddy," he laughs, scratching at Chris's neck.

"He acts like he didn't just see you three days ago." Eddie sounds amused, leaning against the wall and watching his son sniff and scent Buck, tail thumping against the floor. "Chris, how about we let Buck in the house before we tackle him, hm?"

Chris groans, whining a little in his chest before he scrambles up, legs sliding and skidding a little, and allows Buck to enter the house properly and shut the door behind him.

The full moon was yesterday. Buck's moving a little stiffly, like he spent all night in one position or overdid it running around. The pack- the 118 doesn't understand why Buck never joins them on pack runs, or why he won't officially join the pack even after four years and Buck is doing his best to make sure they never find out.

Maddie knows. Maddie's always known but she won't even tell Chimney (which is probably for the best given Chim's track record of secret keeping).

They'd all been surprised to hear that Buck had been encouraging Maddie to join the pack when she and Chimney began dating, even long before they mated. They'd sort of figured that Buck just... didn't want to join a pack and honestly given how his last pack treated him they couldn't blame him. Maddie had similar issues, going from her parent's pack to Doug's and now to theirs, but she's happily mated and pack bonded, shifting into her light brown and white wolf self to join them on runs.

It confuses Eddie to no end. Why Buck- Buck- who lives for his family, who loves with his whole heart that he wears on his sleeve, won't join a pack that he loves and who clearly loves him. Hell, Buck had been the one to convince Maddie and Eddie to join the 118 pack, around the same time even.

But Buck remains packless.

Eddie's never even seen him shift.

Some wolves can't. No one knows why, but it happens. Some wolves can't control their shifts, spontaneously going from human to wolf to human again without any input on their part, but Buck doesn't seem to have that problem. He's just... always human. And given that he takes full moon leave every month without fail and always wears the tight clothing (which takes a toll on a person's sanity), Eddie's confident that he can shift.

He just... doesn't ever do it in front of anyone.

Buck throws him a grin, patting Christopher's head as he passes. "I'm guessing you guys need a big breakfast after last night."

The growl of Eddie's stomach answers for him. Buck bursts out laughing, knocking Eddie's shoulder with his as he heads into the kitchen.

"Don't worry, I've got you," he states with confidence. He knows that Eddie always stocks the fridge and pantry after full moons- wolves eat more than most people anyways and it's always worse after that time of the month. He rolls up his sleeves and gets to work on a truly massive amount of pancakes and bacon.

Meat is always good after a full moon shift. The fairy tales did get some things right: silver is bad, wolves are large (but they come in more colors than black and grey and white), they can't help but shift during full moons and most of them could eat their weight in bacon and still go back for seconds.

"Why is it you always come over to eat my food after a full moon?" Eddie wonders aloud, pushing his own sleeves up to help flip the bacon while Buck whips up some more batter.

"Because if I left you to cook it you'd burn it all," Buck responds smartly. "Besides, you know you love it when I cook for you."

He does. He really, really does.

He loves everything Buck does for them, loves the way Buck's slotted right into their lives, into their house and made it a home. He loves the way Buck loves Christopher, the way Buck took care of them both when Eddie had been shot. How Buck somehow just knows when Eddie's mood is dark and black and he just appears with a smile and a movie, or a shoulder and a drink and makes it all better, brighter.

Buck is a happy, outgoing, charismatic guy. He loves and is loved in return but he won't join the pack. He shuts down the discussion every time it comes up.

"It's better if I don't."

"I do fine on my own."

And once, he'd absolutely terrified Eddie with his answer, the house quiet around them, Christopher sleeping just down the hall: "It's safer if I'm not in a pack."

He'd refused to elaborate and it's slowly driving Eddie insane. Is Buck not safe? Is he in some kind of danger? Safer for who? Is he on the run from something or someone like Maddie had been? But the answers are not forthcoming and the more he'd pressed the more agitated and on guard Buck had become, so he'd dropped it.

But he's keeping a close eye on Buck.

It doesn't matter if it's official or not, if they're bonded or not, Buck is his family, his pack and Eddie will protect him.

"Don't let the bacon burn."

Swearing, Eddie hastily flips the bacon, jumping back when the grease pops and sizzles.

"I'm telling you, I shouldn't be allowed in my own kitchen," he grouses, carefully cleaning up the spilled oil with a paper towel.

"That's what you have me for." Buck plates a stack of pancakes with one hand, mixing the batter with the other. "Don't worry, as long as I'm around, you guys will never go hungry."

His wolf whines in his chest, yearning to reach out and touch Buck. To pull Buck close and scent him, mark him so that the entire world knows that Buck is his, that Buck is protected, has a family, a pack. But Buck always retreats with wide eyes whenever Eddie even tries to...

So that's obviously a no.

When he'd first joined the pack he'd thought that eventually he and Buck would come together, thought that Buck wanted- could want Eddie the way Eddie wants him... but he doesn't, or is at least pretending that he doesn't. So Eddie stays on his side of the stove, trading elbow jabs and stealing pieces of bacon and pretending not to notice when Christopher carefully noses at a pancake before running off with it.

Buck makes a big show out of counting the pancakes, swearing up and down that he'd made more. "Where could they have possibly gone?" he asks dramatically, winking at Eddie. "Do we have a pancake thief? Eddie, did you steal the pancakes that I was making for Chris!?"

Eddie has to bite down on his cheek to stop the grin. "Oh so I steal one handful of bacon and that also makes me the pancake thief?" He shakes his head, hipchecks Buck on his way to the table, a serving platter covered in Mount Bacon balanced in his hand. "Just for that, you're not getting any of this bacon."

"Cruel and unusual punishment, Diaz."

Christopher doesn't shift for breakfast, happily swiping pancakes and bacon right off Buck and Eddie's plates and hiding under the table to eat them. Buck and Eddie grin at each other around their own food, stealing bits off each other's plates and pretending not to notice when a snout appears at the edge of the table and makes off with another pancake.

It feels like family. Like pack. Like Buck's his mate and Christopher is their son- and he is no matter the bonds. Legally, should the worst happen Buck is Christopher's guardian, his father, his parent. Even if Buck doesn't want Eddie he's always going to be there for Chris.

Maybe eventually he'll be able to move on. His wolf will find someone else, another suitable mate. They won't be Buck. No one will ever be Buck, will ever fit as perfectly into their family as Buck has, will make his wolf howl and whine and want as much as Buck makes him want.

But for now, this is enough. He has Christopher curled up on his feet and Buck at his side, smiling and laughing and pressed up against him like he can't help it. Unashamed, Eddie presses right back, his scent getting onto Buck's skin enough to mingle with Christopher's and linger all day. And for now, it's enough.

Buck likes to think he's doing an okay job at being a Lone Wolf.

He's got his safety measures in place, he's somehow surrounded by people who love him and seem to want him around despite the fact that he won't join their pack, and he's more-or-less got the whole pining-after-his-best-friend thing handled.

And by handled he means that he's 100% in love with Eddie Diaz and it can never, ever happen.

Because if it did happen, if they did get together, Eddie would eventually want to mate Buck. And if they mated, Buck would automatically be bonded to the rest of the pack. And then they would definitely have questions about why he never shifts in front of them- in front of anyone, ever. Why he spends full moons alone, behind as many locked doors as he can manage, curled up in a miserable ball of loneliness instead of just joining them for a run.

He can't put any of this on them. It's his life therefore it's his responsibility to look after himself. No one else is going to do it for him and a pack always feels protective over each other. He's not about to make them think they have to look after him when he can do it just fine himself.

Buck's always had to look after himself. It's better. Easier. Safer.

But sometimes he forgets himself. Sometimes his wants rear their ugly heads and he presses against Eddie for too long, stays at the Diaz house too much and goes back to his cold, empty apartment smelling like Christopher or Eddie, or even worse Christopher and Eddie and it makes his wolf whine and howl and snarl at him that he needs to be with his pack...

...but he can't.

If something where to happen... someone could find out, someone could see him and then the entire pack would be in danger. It's better if he just stays alone. One night a month of whining and howling alone is much better than something happening to anyone in the pack.

They might not be his pack officially but the 118 is still his family and he's going to do whatever it takes to protect them. Even if it hurts. Even if it makes his wolf side unhappy. Lonely. Sad.

He's been sad and lonely his entire life. What's a little more?

"That's dumb," Maddie bluntly tells him, Jee-Yun curled up happily in her arms.

"You of all people know why-" Buck starts, already frustrated.

Maddie holds up a hand. "I know. I know why Buck, but I also know that it's dumb. We had the same family pack, okay? I know, believe me, I get it. But this pack is not like Mom and Dad's. They love us, they love you, and I just wish you'd at least give them a chance."

"To do what exactly?" Buck asks, already knowing.

"To protect you," Maddie says, cradling Jee close. "Buck, you know-"

"Yeah, I do." He sighs, willing himself to calm down. The last thing he needs is to shift and have Chimney come home and see. "I know because it's my life, it's my safety."

"Exactly!"

"But it's their safety too. It's yours. It's Jee's." Buck reaches out, carefully trails a finger over Jee's baby fine, still baby soft hair. "If I joined a pack people would know about me and they could use you, could use Jee to get to me and I'm not about to let that happen."

Maddie's face crumples. "Buck." Her voice cracks, a tear snaking down her face. "You shouldn't have to be alone your entire life just because you were... born different," she decides. She's still his big sister, still trying to protect him as best she can and even she won't say it out loud. Old habits die hard. "I have a pack now, a family that I love so much. You could too, if you let yourself."

"I'm not alone," he assures her, wrapping an arm around them both. "I have you. I have Jee. I... I have Eddie and Christopher. I have the 118. Just because I'm not in a pack doesn't mean I'm alone."

And he's not. He's got the 118 as best as he can have them. It's enough. It needs to be enough.

Maddie presses her face into Buck's neck, rubbing her cheek against his scent glands, her tears smearing across his skin. "But you're lonely," she says ever so softly. "And you could have so much more if you just... you and Eddie and Chris could be a real family. They love you so much."

Even just the thought of that has his wolf whining in his chest and Buck ruthlessly silences it. It doesn't matter how much he wants a mate, a pack, a family, how much he yearns and wants and longs.

He wants, so badly, to give in to Eddie's gentle probing. To accept the scenting and touches without guilt and for once and give them his scent in return.

"What happens if I do join a pack? If Eddie and I..." he can't even say it, can't even give it voice for fear of someone other than Maddie, who already knows his secrets, hearing him. "Someone could take Chris to get to me. I won't let that happen. Not ever."

"You don't know that," Maddie protests, her eyes flashing gold when she steps back. "Pelt hunting is illegal."

"That doesn't stop it from happening. And I'm..." he's not sure, to be honest.

"One of a kind," Maddie finishes for him, biting her lip.

"That feels... kind of conceited."

"It's true. I've never seen another wolf like you, Buck. Not ever."

Buck steps back into Maddie's space, hands on her shoulders. Gently he tips her head up and ducks down to press himself against her neck, scenting her carefully. He only ever scents Maddie or Jee, his family by blood, and even then he never lingers, backs away before the scent can really soak in. It'll fade before the day is out and it's all he allows himself.

"That's what makes it so dangerous," he reminds her, his big sister, his first protector. "I love you so much but... it's better if I stay on the outside."

Maddie is clearly unhappy with that. She frowns, wiping her eyes with her free hand. Jee fusses, sensing her mother's distress. She's too young to shift yet but in a few years she'll start shifting and be able to go on pack runs with everyone else. Buck wonders if she'll take after Maddie, that lighter color with white markings, or she'll be more like Chim, dark and warm.

"For now?"

"Maddie..."

"For now," she says firmly. "This isn't forever. If I'm safer in a pack then so are you. You deserve a family too, Buck."

"I have one," he reminds her, scooping his niece up and cuddling her right against his neck so she can get used to his scent. "I have a family right here, and you have a big family that I get to mooch off of." Maddie opens her mouth. Buck barrels on. "Look, Mads, I love you, and I get where you're coming from, but believe me when I tell you it's not safe. Until it is, this is how things are going to be."

It's how they have to be. Buck will never let anyone hurt his family. As long as he breathes he'll stand between them and anyone, anything that dares to even try to hurt them.

He failed Daniel without even trying, failed so much that his mother rejected him, ignored him, left him out of the pack. He'd failed Eddie when Eddie had been shot. He'd failed Christopher during the tsunami. He'd failed Maddie when she'd been captured by Doug. He's not going to fail them again.

He can take being lonely. He's used to it by now.

Anything to keep them all safe.

"The call came in a few minutes ago- a man wondering the street covered in blood," Bobby is telling them. "Dispatch thinks werewolf."

Everyone shifts in their seats, uneasy and on edge. Things have only been settled between wolves and humans for the last twenty-ish years. It's an uneasy peace, one reached after years of arguments and a near lifetime of stigma they're still having to unravel. It won't take much to upset the balance of things.

"Werewolf attack or werewolf victim?" Hen asks, brow furrowed.

"Unclear but either way they figured it was best to send us."

They're not the only werewolf station in LA but they're the closest ones to the call, even if it is technically out of their zone. But if it's a werewolf attack they can defend themselves with less risk of injury than a human crew and if it's a werewolf victim then Hen and Chim and Eddie will be able to treat the man easily.

The house isn't made up entirely of werewolves- in fact most of the crew is human, but every once in a while a call goes out specifically to them as a precaution.

Buck fidgets nervously. If it's a werewolf attack he needs to hang back. He'll shift automatically as a defense if he's attacked- he won't be able to help it. He'll keep a grip on an axe, on some kind of weapon and hopefully also on his wolf. He needs to stay human for this call no matter what.

But if something happens, if he needs to shift, he will. If the choice is protecting one of his crew or keeping his secret, Buck won't hesitate.

Eddie's hand lands on his thigh. He squeezes once, the pressure a soothing balm to the anxiety bouncing around Buck's system. He resists the urge to cover Eddie's hand with his but he meets the warm brown gaze and smiles, leaning over until their shoulders touch.

"We've got this," Eddie assures him, keeping his hand on Buck's leg until he slides out to assess the scene.

It's not good. There's a trail of blood on the sidewalk that leads into the alley. It's a worrying amount of blood, enough that Hen and Chimney exchange a look and double back to the ambulance to grab a few more things.

Buck inhales deeply, focusing on the smells and blocking everything else out. He can smell the iron of the blood, the stench of the trash in the dumpster, the meat on the grill a block over and under it all he smells fear, thick and heavy. He creeps forward, Eddie pressed against his side.

Eddie smells like sandalwood, like spice and musk and determination.

They almost miss it, following the scent of the blood around the corner but Buck does a double take, realizes that the large red rug is actually a large red wolf. He's almost orange, curled up as small as he can get and wedged behind some trash cans, clearly trying to hide.

His stomach drops.

"Cap," Eddie calls out, already moving forward. "We've got eyes on him. He's shifted, looks badly injured and... Jesus." Eddie shoots forward, throwing the trash cans behind him to get a good look at his patient. "God... he looks like he's been..."

"Skinned," Buck says with numb lips. He drops to his knees, careful to stay back and not frighten the guy any more. "That red coat... the injuries... pelt hunters."

Eddie's eyes glow briefly, a growl building in his chest. "Monsters," he snarls. His canines are protruding a bit, sharper and longer than they should be.

Buck takes a deep breath and places a careful hand on Eddie's shoulder. "Eds."

He shudders under Buck's touch, too bright eyes swiveling to meet Buck's before the growl dies down. He needs to calm down before he treats the patient or he might frighten the man even more. He's going to be confused and scared enough as it is- they can both faintly smell the sedative lingering in the blood that's smeared everywhere.

Buck can't look at his arm. His stomach turns, clenches, threatens to flip when he sees the muscle peeking through under the fur that's flopped off to the side. He gratefully backs away when Hen comes close, medical bag swinging over her shoulder.

"God," she breathes, taking a second to compose herself. "Buck, tell Bobby we're gonna need the police for this. Eddie, help me move him. We need to get him away from the wall so we can see how bad it is."

It's definitely bad, but this man is luckier than most. Most of the skin on his arm is degloved and he has cuts on his legs but he'd clearly managed to escape before they got what they wanted from him.

It's not the first time they've come across something like this, but it is the first time they've found a victim alive.

"Ginger," Chimney comments. "Literally looks like red hair all the way down." He runs a careful hand over the worst of the wounds, carefully wrapping it in sterile gauze. "And he's a good size, too. Poor guy."

"If we can get him to the hospital fast enough he might keep the skin," Hen says. "Where's the gurney?"

The wolf whimpers, groggily turning his head and whining. He doesn't fight them when he's lifted and carefully placed on the waiting gurney, when Hen opens a line in his arm and begins to flush his system. He growls weakly when Bobby approaches, not in warning but as pure defense, no heat behind it.

Bobby merely extends his arm for the wolf to sniff. "You're safe now," he promises. "We're gonna get you out of here. No one's going to hurt you."

"Where did he come from?" Eddie's glancing around, eyes narrowed at all the closed doors in the alley. "If he escaped from hunters there might be more victims that need help."

"That's for the police to handle. Our job is to get this man to the hospital."

Eddie tightens his grip on the gurney. "We can't just leave them," he protests, even as he loads the man into the ambulance. "We should at least look around-"

"Eddie." Bobby's voice is firm, Alpha giving a command. "I understand and I wish we could do more but right now our responsibility is to him." He nods to the now still wolf curled up in a ball. "We'll do a look around and wait for the police but if we don't find anything... there will be others who need our help today."

Clearly unhappy with the decision, Eddie grabs an axe and stalks back into the alley. Buck almost feels bad for whatever pelt hunter he comes across. He snatches up his own axe and follows him.

"Stay together," Bobby orders, tone booking no room for argument. "If this is a pelt hunter situation..." he doesn't need to finish the sentence.

Bobby's pelt is stone gray. Hen's a warm brown, a few shades darker than Chimney. Eddie's is black, the edges tinged grey. They're all around average size and have common enough coats, nothing that a pelt hunter would be interested in but that doesn't mean they're safe. A hunter is a hunter and a pelt hunter specializes in taking down werewolves. They know all the tricks.

Eddie pauses just long enough for Buck to reach him then hesitates, chewing on his lip.

"Buck, are you..." He stops, shakes his head. "Never mind. Let's just find these assholes. Stay beside me- I mean it."

They search the alley, the surrounding area until the police arrive. They give their statements, show the cops the blood trail and the puddle, the bits of skin and fur that were left behind in the hurry to get the victim to the hospital before he bled out. One of the human rookies turns green, has to rush back to the street to hurl.

"Who the fuck skins somebody?" he wants to know, wiping his mouth. "What the actual fuck."

"Second one this month," one of the officers mutters. Buck's heart squeezes painfully once. Two in a month? That's not good.

"And people called us monsters," Eddie mutters, all but throwing his axe back onto the truck.

"Hen says the guy will live," Buck tells him, reaching over to give his shoulder a squeeze. "He shifted once they reached the ER and it looks like they're going to be able to save most of the skin."

Eddie sighs gustily. Reaches up to lay his hand over Buck's. "And he's going to have nightmares for the rest of his life because he was snatched up for his pelt, because it's a different color than most. How fucked up is that?"

Something in him relaxes, unclenches when Eddie turns into him, dropping his hand to wrap an arm around Buck's waist and squeeze hard. Buck merely drops his head against Eddie's, breathes in his scent, revels in the way Eddie presses briefly into his neck and inhales deeply.

When they clamber back into the truck, the entire crew- even the human driver- quiet and somber, Eddie takes Buck's hand in his, lacing their fingers together and gripping tight. They stay like that for the entire drive back to the station.

Full moons are rambunctious affairs. The entire pack gets together and they all wrestle and run and roll around and generally behave like hyper idiots for the night. It's a primal urge: the need to become their wolf self and give in to their base instincts. They run for hours, full of energy, the need to move and hunt and just... be a wolf.

And no, they don't howl at the moon. They howl at each other and mostly to annoy the neighbors.

Eddie doesn't much feel like it tonight. He's sequestered off to the side, curled up under the large tree at the edge of Bobby and Athena's yard and keeping an eye on things. Christopher's having a whale of a time, sprinting between his father and everyone else and back again, rolling around in the small dirt pile that Bobby left out (for gardening, he claims, but Athena had given him A Look so they all know it's okay to mess around in). He's a bit more mobile in wolf form, legs a little spindly and shaky but he's able to run fast and leap and tackle decently well even if it does wear him out pretty quick.

Buck should be here. Buck should be with them, rolling around, wrestling with Christopher and Harry and Denny (both of whom are human- like Karen and Athena and Michael and May are- but are always down to wrestle with a wolfed out pack member). He should be here to curl up with the pack when they all crash around sunrise, several furry piles strewn about the house and the yard or nearby park.

But he's not.

No one knows where Buck goes on full moons, if he even goes anywhere. He usually turns up the next day stiff and sore and helps Eddie make breakfast. He's arrived at Bobby's a few times, when the entire pack is together and helps Bobby whip up enough food to feed six (seven, counting Buck) hungry werewolves but he never mentions his night.

Eddie's... not sure what to do.

Buck's a grown man and if he's truly happy being a lone wolf then by all means, lone wolf away. But Buck's miserable and he's pretending he's not and none of them know why.

Maddie knows, she has to. But like any good big sister she's keeping Buck's secrets.

Eddie knows that whatever secrets Buck and Maddie keep for each other will go with them to the grave. Growing up as they did, with cold neglectful parents, and then Maddie living with Doug... some of those secrets probably saved their lives in a very literal sense.

And Buck still has plenty of secrets.

Eddie's not stupid. The pack isn't stupid. They're pretty sure- but not certain, not really- that they know what Buck is hiding but none of them are about to force him into telling them. If he doesn't want to, if he's not ready then they'll wait.

But wait for what? Wait for the day that Buck decides to let them in? Wait for Buck to disappear with his secrets still intact? Buck runs when he thinks he's creating problems. He removes himself entirely from the situation- Maddie too. They carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, these golden hearted Buckley siblings and Eddie wants to go up to their parents and yell at them for instilling fear and self-loathing in the two most kind and wonderful people he's ever met.

Will Buck ever trust them enough to let his final secret out? Is it even about trust?

Every day Buck puts his life in Eddie's hands. Every time they lower themselves off a cliff to help a victim, every time they walk into fire side by side they trust each other, rely on each other, they need each other.

And Buck's not exactly subtle. Even without the enhanced senses that come with his wolf side Eddie would be aware that Buck is... interested. Wouldn't he? Oh god Eddie hopes he wouldn't be that oblivious.

Surely Buck knows then, that Eddie is also interested, that Eddie wants him. It's hard to keep secrets from werewolves- even if his pack wasn't full of nosey well-meaning busybodies, they'd know. Scent is... a thing. But something is stopping Buck and Eddie will never take that step without Buck's permission.

Eddie's tried. God knows he's tried. He's let Buck into his house, he's cooked him food (they don't talk about the marks on the wall or how the food tasted but he did it), for crying out loud Eddie's son scents Buck like a family member. And Buck... Eddie knows Buck loves Christopher with every inch of himself but Buck never scents Chris back. He never even scents Maddie, not really. Not enough for it to last.

He knows Buck. And Buck is scared. He pulls back, pulls away every time he gets comfortable, gets close. He jerks his hand away like he's been burned whenever he realizes he's got his hand on Eddie's shoulder. He throws himself to the other side of the couch when he catches himself dozing against Eddie.

He even pulls away from Bobby, a haunted, guilty look crossing his face every time. (Eddie wonders if Buck sees the look of grief that lingers on Bobby's face whenever Buck pulls back.)

A tug on his ear brings Eddie back into the present, Bobby's large grey self grumbling and nosing at him before dropping down to sit beside him.

Sitting like this, back on their haunches, Bobby and Eddie are around the same size but when they stand Eddie has him by a little bit. So he's got nowhere to go when Bobby pins him with a look, head tilted.

Buck should be here, Eddie thinks again.

Bobby rumbles deep in his chest, head drooping. He's tried. Bobby's tried every way in the world for the past... almost five years- since before Eddie even moved to LA. And Buck very rarely tells Bobby no but about this he's always firm. But Bobby hasn't stopped trying. Every month without fail, he casually mentions the get together to Buck.

"Pack gathering at mine and Athena's," he'll say, eyes on whatever he's cooking. "You're welcome to join us."

Or: "We're meeting up in the park for a run if you'd like to come."

Or even: "Buck, would you like to come over during the full moon? Athena's got a couple of chickens she's roasting for us."

The answer's the same, every time.

"I appreciate it but... thanks, but... no, I'm good."

Even though they think they know why, and understand to a degree (because if they're right then yeah it's understandable), it's hard to feel happy even wolfed out like this, watching his son wipe out and go tumbling into the garden before popping back up, wagging his tail happily... it feels like something's missing.

The pack isn't quite complete.

Bobby sighs, ears flattening a bit. He wants Buck here too but even between the two of them they can't convince Buck to join them. Eddie can't even convince Buck to kiss him. Can't get Buck to scent him.

Buck barely lets Eddie scent him. Won't let himself accept it.

He's just going to have to swallow that one. Whether he's pack or not, Buck is family and Eddie will always put his scent on Buck's skin. Maybe one day he'll be able to believe what Eddie- what they all tell him: that he's wanted. That he's welcome.

That he's loved.

Maddie's head swivels in their direction, ears up. Eddie almost cringes. Fuck, did he have that thought out loud- or as out loud as it gets when they're all together? Sometimes being in a pack can be a pain. There are no secrets when you can smell everything a person does: where they've been, who they were with, who they're sleeping with, and tight knitted packs with deep bonds can sometimes pick up on the mood or thoughts of others.

Maddie must have been listening in. She's sneaky like that.

She gives Eddie a canine grin, tongue lolling, and Eddie grumbles, stretching out on the grass.

Well, it's not like they didn't already know anyway. Eddie's been a lovesick fool for years.

Somewhere in the distance, he swears he can hear Hen laughing.

Full moons are miserable.

Or maybe Buck is just miserable.

It's an entirely miserable experience being away from the pack while wanting to be with them. He's alone, curled up on his bathroom floor, whining and whimpering and howling. The neighbors always complain (Veronica especially, she's always the first to bitch about the noise) but Buck doesn't have any other options.

That's not true though. He could... he could join the pack. He could go over to Bobby's and shift in front of everyone. He doesn't have to actually join the pack. He could just be with them, be around them, wrestle with them, run with them. He hasn't been outside in his wolf form since he was in single digits.

Hasn't run outside, the wind in his fur, the landscape blurring past. Hasn't nipped and playfully wrestled another wolf to the ground before taking off and letting them wrestle him.

But he can't.

He won't. He refuses. It's his life, his responsibility to keep himself safe. He's not about to put that on others and he's certainly not going to do that to non pack members. The others already do too much for him. He can't just put this weight on their shoulders. There's enough going on in their lives that Buck can't just add to the complications because he's lonely.

The bathroom floor is cold. No matter how many blankets he drags onto the tile it's always cold and hard and uncomfortable.

He can't even lay on his bed. Even with the loft, with the one way film he's got up on the windows someone could see. Could find out.

The front door is locked, deadbolt in place. No one can get into the building without a key and a code. Buck even has the lock on the bathroom door engaged.

And he's still worried.

Maybe he should just... go. Wouldn't it be better if he found some place in a national park to live? Just exist as a wolf and spend his days in nature, away from society, from people. But he'd be a big target then and the pelt hunters, the poachers would certainly hear about a wolf his size, with his coat coloring and then where would he hide? It's better if he lives as a human in a large city.

Buck's aware he crossed the line into paranoia long ago, but it's worked out for him so far. He's almost thirty and he's still alive. It's more than his parents even thought. Sometimes they even forget about it, their rare son that lives alone and away from everyone and that's for the better he's sure.

Maddie's safe and happy. She's with a wonderful pack, she has a mate that loves her, a pup to care for and help grow. She's protective and protected and she'll never be alone again.

"You could have that too, if you let yourself."

He could.

Buck's not a total idiot. He knows that the pack wants him to join, that they want him around. He doesn't know why but they've made no secret of it. He knows that if he said he wanted to join they'd welcome him in a heartbeat.

And then they'd regret it because they'd have to spend time protecting him, safeguarding him. It's not their job but if he joined the pack it would become their responsibility. They'd be obligated. They could get hurt or worse trying to protect him, trying to keep his secret safe and he can't let it happen.

Buck... he knows, okay? He knows that Eddie's interested. Eddie hasn't been subtle about it though he's clearly backing off, taking Buck's silence and lack of reciprocation as a rejection.

He doesn't want to reject Eddie. He wants to be selfish, to give in and scent Eddie, mark Eddie as his but Eddie deserves better. Deserves a proper mate, one with a typical coat, who's an average size and won't bring any kind of danger anywhere near Christopher. Buck will never, ever do anything that could harm Chris. So he never scents Eddie. He pulls away when he gets too close.

But Eddie... he's backed off a bit but he hasn't backed down and it's wonderful, it's amazing, it's confusing and it can never, ever happen.

If Eddie and Buck mated, Eddie would feel obligated to protect Buck. He'd do anything to save him. Even if it costs him his life.

Buck will never let that happen.

Buck whimpers, swallowing the howl that's clawing up his throat. He has no one to howl to, to sing with. He's alone, a large wolf in the dark, wrapped in his sad little blanket and hiding from the world.

It's a heavy price to pay but Buck is the only one suffering. He's willing to shoulder that burden himself and just move on. Eventually Eddie will move on. He'll find someone that isn't afraid, that won't be dangerous to have around and he'll have what he wants. Maybe then Buck will be able to move on himself, stop getting too close to people he has no business endangering.

He's always going to love Eddie. He's always going to love the 118.

It's because he loves them so much that he's never going to join the pack, never going to... he can't stay. He knows that. Eventually, he's going to have to move away to move on.

But he's weak, he's selfish, he loves them so much that he wants to be around them however he can. So he stays. He curls up on the bathroom floor and howls and whines and whimpers because it's safe.

It's not what he wants, but it's safe. So he stays.

They're ten hours into a long shift when Athena walks into the station.

That in and of itself is not that unusual. Athena comes by all the time to mooch some food, hang out with Hen, cuddle up with Bobby (or sneak off to make out with him but they all pretend they don't know about that...) but she brings Lou with her and has a serious look on her face.

Immediately, everyone is tense.

They get settled in the loft, exchanging glances and trying to gauge where this is going. Eddie casually drops down next to Buck on the couch, shoulders and arms pressed together, knees touching. Something in Eddie settles when Buck leans into him a little, seeking out the contact.

Hen steals Chimney's coffee before settling herself at the table.

"Over the last few weeks there have been an uptick in missing person's reports," Athena announces, mouth pursed. Something flashes in her eyes. Not for the first time, Eddie thinks that she'd be a terrifyingly powerful wolf. "And with that call you had a few weeks ago we can say it's official. There's a pelt hunter ring active in LA."

Buck goes rigid.

"Fucking poachers," Eddie snarls. He feels his canines extending, fights to get control of himself.

Chimney's eyes flash. "Pelt hunters, in the city?" He looks disgusted and slightly green. "That ginger wolf we found..."

Athena nods. "Yes. Larry Byron survived his injuries, though he needed surgery on his arm. And..." She exchanges a look with Lou, reaches a decision. "His twin sister Darla was never found. She's a redhead too, her wolf the same ginger color as her brother. Larry doesn't remember anything before you found him in the alley, but he was out with his sister that day and some of the blood on him was hers."

The silence that settles over the group is heavy.

Beside him, Buck is trembling the slightest bit. Eddie doesn't even think about it, doesn't even hesitate. He simply reaches over and threads his fingers through Buck's, squeezing tight. Buck's breath comes out slowly, some of the tension leaving him but he trembles slightly under Eddie's hands.

But he grips Eddie's hand tight, thumb rubbing against Eddie's skin.

Nothing's going to happen to Buck, Eddie vows to himself. To the pack through the open bond. He feels their determined agreement bouncing back at him, sees the way Athena is zeroed in on Buck at his side.

They don't know what Buck's wolf looks like but... they can put two and two together. What color or pattern his coat is they can't say but they're almost certain that Buck avoids shifting where people can see him because he'd be a big target for the poachers roaming the city. And if it's for some other reason, it doesn't matter.

Buck is his. Is theirs. And they're not going to let anything happen to him.

"You're not the only house in LA with a pack of wolves in it," Athena is saying, "but y'all are the only ones with a wolf captain, with a crew that's primarily wolves. So you all need to be careful."

They're all average, maybe a little above. Chimney's dark coat shifts in the sunlight: dark brown to reddish, but he's average size. Eddie is larger than normal but his coat is typical- he looks like the rest of his family. Hen... he'd never say it out loud because he knows there's more to her than that but she's average in both size and coat color. Bobby's stone grey coat is lovely but not uncommon.

Athena isn't even looking at him but they all know she's speaking to Buck. She's here to check on them all, to warn them, to make sure they're all okay, but even she knows Buck's going to need some extra protection.

Now to figure out how to protect Buck without making it seem like that's what they're doing.

Luckily, Buck doesn't appear to want to be away from Eddie. He's practically plastered to Eddie's side all day, every call they go on. Eddie turns to grab a tool, Buck's right there with it in his hand. Buck takes two steps towards a patient, Eddie's already at his back, hand between his shoulder blades and moving forward with him.

And when Buck isn't beside Eddie, he's got Bobby all but hovering over him.

"Browning butter is an important step," Bobby is saying, gesturing with his spatula. Beside him Buck is nodding seriously, eyes on the pan. "Otherwise-"

Eddie tunes out the cooking lesson, hiding his smile with a well timed sip of coffee. His mind is racing, trying to figure out the best way to get Buck to come home with him, stay the night. Maybe the week. Or month, depending on how long it takes Athena and Lou to track down the pelt hunter ring.

He's not about to let Buck go anywhere by himself until those poachers, those monsters are in custody.

Five wolves have gone missing in the last two months. Two bodies have been found and Athena refuses to tell them how they were found but a quick search online had revealed the worst, confirming Eddie's fears: skinned, missing their coats. Three people are still missing.

Buck slides into the seat next to Eddie. Bumps his shoulder against Eddie's and lingers before collapsing against him.

"Hey um..." Buck's fingers fidget, tongue darting out to wet his lips. "Chris is staying with Abuela tonight, right?"

"Yeah, Carla's taking him over after dinner." Which means he can't use Chris as a reason to get Buck into the house. Maybe he should bribe Buck with dinner from his favorite Thai place, offer him the couch and a video game marathon. Something, anything to get Buck to stay over for a while.

He's not about to let Buck go home alone, where he can't sense him, can't smell him, won't know if something's wrong until it's too late.

"Good." Buck seems relieved. "He's not in any danger, Eds. He'll be safe."

"Athena promised she'd up patrols in the neighborhood," Eddie tells him, his hand skating down Buck's back. He's reassuring Buck as much as Buck is reassuring him, both worried about the pup even if they know logically that the pelt hunters would have no interest in an average colored, average sized wolf who hasn't even reached full maturity yet. "But still..."

"Yeah."

They're silent against the counter, something in Bobby's pan sizzling on the stove. Eddie keeps his hand against the small of Buck's back, fingertips digging in slightly.

He wishes he had the right to press up against Buck, wishes he could just say to Buck stay with me and Buck wouldn't get that wounded, haunted look on his face before backing away. Because before he runs, before Buck turns him down he always looks like... like he wants to say yes. Like he wants nothing more than to accept Eddie's touch, like he wants to touch Eddie.

It would be more than welcome, but something's holding Buck back.

One day, maybe Eddie will break down that final wall. If nothing else, he wants to know why Buck is so afraid of accepting what Eddie is offering.

Why Buck doesn't trust the love he's given.

"Big plans tonight?" Eddie asks, removing his hand to grab his lukewarm coffee and take another sip.

"Not really. Crashing after this long ass shift." Buck scrubs a tired hand over his face.

"Maybe you should lay down for a while, try and catch some sleep."

Buck grins. "See, now that you said that, the second I head towards the bunk room-"

He's cut off by the shrill blare of the alarm.

Buck merely points up at the ceiling, brow raised. "Point made."

"Murphy's alarm," Eddie decides, bolting for his gear. "Any call can and will happen."

"At the worst time, too," Buck adds, grabbing his helmet. "I really could use that nap."

"You haven't been sleeping well." It's not a question. He can see dark circles trying to bloom under Buck's eyes, has noticed the extra cups of coffee and the impromptu naps Buck's been taking.

"I've been following the pelt hunter story," Buck admits into the headset. "It's been online for a while. Just rumors mostly, but now with Athena confirming it..."

"Which is why we're all sticking together," Bobby says from the front. "No one goes anywhere alone, got it? No exceptions."

The call is a four alarm blaze, edging into a five. The flames lick and dance, eating up the construction equipment like candy. They would be paired up for this anyway, so Buck can't argue that he'll be fine on his own. Not on this call. He accepts his assignment with a nod and suits up, mask sliding into place.

Eddie wants to cough. The smell of the chemicals burning makes his nose itch. Beside him, Chimney snorts, rubbing his own nose before securing his mask over his face with relief. Construction equipment never smells good when it burns, and the smoke is thick and black.

Even Bobby looks bothered by it, nose wrinkling even behind his mask.

"Stay with your partner. If you get separated, radio immediately and get out. We're not taking any chances with this one. The first floor is unstable but dispatch says there's at least three people still trapped inside. A quick sweep, in and out."

The rescue turns into a recovery pretty quick. They find a body on the second floor, carry it out before turning back to head in again. The heat is unbearable, almost too much even with their gear on. Sweat pours into Eddie's eyes. He can't smell anything but smoke, can't see anything but black and flames.

Buck is right behind him, calling out, trying to listen for anyone calling back over the roar of the fire.

When Bobby gives the evac order, they don't argue. Under their feet the floor shifts. Something in the distance hisses and shrieks, the flames making the metal of the building expand and contract unnaturally.

"Buck..."

"I'm right behind you."

Eddie nods. He takes the time to reach back, to clasp Buck's hand in his before heading towards the exit with a pit in his stomach. He hates leaving people behind but anyone still inside can't be alive. If they stay in much longer they'll need to be rescued themselves.

"Stay close."

He lets go of Buck to jump over a hotspot, turns to watch Buck do the same. The door is right behind him, the smoke billowing out into the open air. He can see the lights of the rig flashing just beyond.

And the floor collapses. It just fucking disappears, a pit opening up where there had been a path.

And Buck- was right there, right in front of Eddie. Eddie reaches out, desperate. He takes a halting step forward, heart hammering in his throat, reaching, trying to grab him... but Buck falls.

Buck doesn't have a lot of options here.

He's buried under rubble and trapped by smoke. The smell of the fire, the burning in his nose is less now and he can breathe even though his mask has shattered so he assumes the fire is either out or almost dead. But he's still pretty clearly trapped in a basement.

He didn't even know the building had a basement so the others must not know either. Bobby would have mentioned it if he'd known- they would have needed to check it for survivors as well.

The radio gives him nothing but static- because that would be too easy, being able to contact his team and let them know he's alive and uninjured.

He doesn't know how he's uninjured but he's fine. Covered in soot and dust, coughing up a storm when the ash falls into his mouth, but he's fine.

"Eddie!"

He keeps calling up, yelling, hoping that somehow someone can hear him through the ruins of the building. He's not sure how far down he fell. It's far enough that his mask broke and he was briefly unconscious but he's awake now, his head is clear and nothing is overly sore.

"Okay," he breathes, sucking in dusty air. He's in a small pocket, surrounded by the ruins of the building above him and he knows he needs to get out soon. If the structure had been unstable enough to collapse into an unknown basement (which might actually explain why it was so unstable) then he's not safe.

Trouble is, he can't exactly go anywhere. Even with his enhanced strength he can't move more than a few pieces of rubble at a time. Some of the pieces are too heavy or too big or they're bracing a section of debris that Buck isn't comfortable moving for fear of it all coming down on top of him.

"Eddie!" he calls again, face tipped up. "Bobby!"

He tries his radio again, notices wires hanging from the bottom of it and sighs. Of course.

He tosses the useless contraption to the side and considers his options.

There's a small opening to his left, a tunnel precariously held up by a warped beam. The area on the other side looks more open, like there's more space, a bigger pocket that he could get to and move around. If he stays here there's a chance more debris could rain down on top of him- same goes for the area he's debating on going to but if he moves into the other area he'll have more space to dodge whatever comes down.

If he stays here, he's almost sure to get squished.

But he needs to shift.

Buck's a big guy and usually that's a good thing, but now he's got to squeeze himself through an opening he's not sure even his wolf form could fit through. He's not the size of a human as a wolf but he's big, maybe too big to fit but he needs to try something. He can't just sit here.

The others will be looking for him, he knows they will be.

But he's not just going to sit around and wait on them. His life is his responsibility and it's his job to get himself out. He chose this job, he decided to take his life into his own hands. Pack or no pack, he needs to get out.

If he shifts, someone could see him.

Who the hell is going to see him all the way down here?

It's going to get out sometime and if he doesn't shift then he's well and truly stuck and he refuses to die just yet.

He's not going to die, it's not that bad. He's just... buried. Trapped under a previously burning building that had collapsed down on top of him with no discernable way out and no way to contact his team to tell them to keep searching for him.

Eddie won't give up on him.

Eddie, god. He's probably trying to dig through the rubble with his bare hands, cursing Buck all the while.

"Okay," Buck says, coughing a little. The smells will be much more intense if he shifts but he'll be faster, more nimble and a little smaller than he is right now. He'll have a better chance as a wolf.

He shimmies out of his turnout gear, laying it flat in case someone finds this area in the search. A clue that he's alive, that's he moving and hopefully about to get himself out of the situation he fell into.

Eddie made it out. Buck knows he did. There's no way he didn't. The exit had been right behind him, the light just beyond his shoulder. Buck would know if Eddie...

If he joined the pack, he'd be able to know for sure. He'd be able to tell, be able to feel Eddie all the time.

"I'm a stubborn idiot," he mutters to himself, turning on his light and pointing it in the direction he's about to head. He won't need the light once he shifts but if a human comes looking for him it'll be another clue about his whereabouts.

If he'd joined the pack they'd be able to sense him too, they'd know that he's okay and he'd be able to at least communicate with them despite the busted radio.

But then the pack would have to come down after him, would dig and possibly injure themselves to get him out.

They'd done it before, that last warehouse fire. When he'd learned about Daniel. He'd disobeyed orders and he couldn't leave the last survivor but they'd come for him anyway, Eddie at his back, the rest of the crew behind him, all tugging on the line to get them both out. They'd come then, they'll come now.

But Buck isn't going to just sit around.

He shifts, shaking his fur and sending a small cloud of dust exploding outwards. He hasn't been outside in wolf form in years and technically he's still inside. He thinks. There's probably still a roof on the building. That counts as inside.

He can almost hear his father's voice in his head. "It's not safe outside, Evan. No one is going to protect you if you go out there. It's no one's job but your own to keep yourself safe. If you go outside, you know the risks. We won't always be there to save you."

Buck wants to scoff. Yeah, right like his parents ever saved him from anything. Like they ever did anything other than keep him inside, locked away during full moons like werewolves were still a thing that needed to be hidden. They claimed it was for his safety and to an extent it was. It's dangerous out there for wolves like him- if there are any like him.

One of a kind, Maddie calls him. And there are poachers- pelt hunters. Hadn't it just been a few hours ago that Athena had confirmed an active ring inside LA? Taking wolves and skinning them to sell their pelts to the highest bidders, or even as trophies for themselves?

But that's a problem for another day. Right now Buck has to squeeze his furry wolf butt through this narrow opening and hopefully find a way out on the other side.

If there's not an exit, he can make one. He's got four paws. He can dig his way up and out if he needs to. Hopefully the others will still be outside when he's free-

Why wouldn't they be outside? The pack... they might not be his official pack but they're still his family and they always come when he needs them. They always help him, are always ready when he calls and they're not even pack bonded.

Buck takes a minute then, pausing in the next pocket of space to look around. There's not much beside him but he smells clean air coming form somewhere and sets off, following the cool, clean scent.

They're not his pack and they still come for him. Every time.

If he was pack, if he did join... he could be there for them in a better capacity. He'd be able to know when they were in trouble instantly rather than having to wait for a phone call. He would have known the second Chimney had been stabbed rather than stumbling across him in the walkway. He might have gotten to Maddie before Doug.

The bond works both ways. He could be there for them like they always are for him.

Would that work? Would that be enough? Would they really be okay with someone like him in their pack?

There's a crack in the foundation just above his head. The brick and concrete don't quite meet, dirt spilling down. The fresh air is coming from here and if just pushes, if he digs, maybe he'll be able to make a gap big enough for him to squeeze through.

Buck raises up on his hind legs, his large paws clawing and digging at the hole that's already there. He needs to make it bigger. He can get out this way, or at least signal that he's alive.

The crew is still outside. He knows they are. They're there and they're looking for him. He just needs to make sure they can find him. He needs to get out, needs to get to his family.

So he starts to dig. He digs up, more dirt and soot falling on him, coating him as he widens the tiny crack. He can smell the air outside, the water from their hoses and the CO2 from the extinguishers. He can smell the gas from the trucks, the dirt as the earth shifts under his paws.

He has to stop to take a break, a breath before digging again. As big as he is, as strong as he is even a werewolf can't dig through concrete so he has to adjust his trajectory whenever he runs into some. He digs through dirt, through rubble, through the burnt remains of a bush and finally, finally, he's able to stick his head out.

Cautiously, carefully, Buck pokes his head through the odd shaped hole he's created. Above him are the bricks and steel of the building... what's left standing of it anyways. Below him is a concrete slab, a piece of the foundation. He uses his snout to dig in front of him, then disappears back into the basement to use his paws again.

There's no one around when he peeks back out. He can see the lights of the rigs flashing up the alley. He must be in the back somewhere, he's not sure. He'd gotten a bit turned around when he fell and now he's in a completely different spot- which turns out to be a good thing when the area behind him collapses, kicking up that much more dust and ash.

He's covered completely, his coat an ashy (literally) grey, black in some spots where he'd brushed up against something that had been on fire. The smell of burnt all around him is starting to get to him a little, but he'll take that over being dead any day.

He needs to get out of this basement. He needs help.

If he calls attention to himself, there's no telling who will come over. Will it be someone from the 118? What if it's no one he knows? What if it's a fucking news crew?

Werewolf firefighter digs his way out of basement, story at 11. No thanks.

But.

It's his job to take care of his own life. And he's surrounded by people who love him, who want to help him. So.

Buck heaves himself up to his full height, front paws perched on the concrete ledge blocking his exit and howls. He howls and howls and howls, long, loud cries that someone, surely someone can hear. He's not too far down- he's basically eye level with the alley when he stands up. Someone's going to hear him.

Someone has to hear him.

"Buck!"

Yes. Yes.

"Buck, can you hear me?"

Eddie. It's Eddie. Of course it's Eddie. Eddie always comes for him, Eddie's always there, he's coming and Buck howls again, paws digging uselessly at the ground, almost frantically now.

"Come on Buck, let me hear you." Footsteps getting closer and Buck can smell him, he smells sandalwood and soot, he can hear feet pounding on the ground as Eddie runs. "Buck, hey, hey-!"

And then Eddie is dropping to his knees, his beautiful face appearing in the hole Buck made and Buck's never been so happy to see him in his fucking life.

Eddie starts tearing up the ground around the concrete with his bare hands. He doesn't even shift, just starts ripping the earth up. Buck paws at the loose bricks around the hole, praying that some of them have weakened, shifted enough that he can get some of them out of the way. He's whining deep in his throat, desperate to get out, to get to Eddie.

"I know, I know, I'm gonna get you out of there." Eddie swears, turns, and then Bobby is there too, both of them digging down, around, through and finally, finally Buck is able to wiggle through, to get out.

He barrels straight into Eddie, burrowing his face desperately into Eddie's neck, tucking his muzzle into the scent glands and inhaling deep. He smells like Eddie, like home, he tastes like dirt and ash and soot where Buck licks him and Buck happily buries himself in it.

"You were right behind me," Eddie gasps, arms coming up to circle Buck's neck. He buries his face in Buck's fur, tangles his hands in the dusty, sooty coat and holds on tight. "You were right behind me and then you were gone, you were gone Buck-"

He doesn't remember shifting back, doesn't realize he's human again until he feels Eddie's hands on his back, hauling him even closer. He's all but sitting in Eddie's lap at this point and he is not about to complain.

"I'm sorry- the floor just- I didn't-" it's hard to speak with his face jammed up against Eddie's neck but he's not about to move, not about to move away from Eddie's comforting scent and he's certainly not about to suggest Eddie let go of him.

"Are you hurt?" Bobby demands, his gentle hands carefully pressing on Buck's back, down his arms. Bobby makes no move to get Buck away from Eddie, merely examines him as best he can while Buck tries to crawl into Eddie and stay there. "Buck, I need you to tell me if you're injured."

It kills him but Buck leans back. Eddie lets him go but only to arms length so he can look Buck over himself.

"I don't think so." His voice is gravelly. He's thirsty and his mouth tastes like dirt. It's not pleasant.

"We need to look you over, get you to the hospital." Bobby's eyes flash when he leans in to cup the back of Buck's head. "You were down there for three hours. We thought... You're going to the ER, don't argue with me."

When Bobby pulls back Eddie immediately pulls Buck closer, resting their foreheads together and takes a deep breath. He's trembling when he touches Buck's neck, yanking his gloves off to mix their scents. Buck can smell himself on Eddie.

He scented Eddie. He'd scented him, barreled straight into Eddie's lap and immediately rubbed himself- in wolf form- all over Eddie's neck.

That's... probably a thing he needs to address.

But Bobby's giving him a scared, fond, exasperated look that's soaked in relief so he nods. He's not imagining the kiss Eddie presses into his hair or the way Eddie wraps him up in his arms and hugs him close. For once he doesn't pull away, he leans in, presses himself right up against Eddie. And when Eddie carefully helps him up, he drapes Buck in his turnout coat, keeps his arm firmly around Buck's middle like he's afraid Buck will just disappear.

"Wouldn't dream of it Cap."

When they get to the ambulance, Buck takes Eddie's hand and tugs him inside with him. They don't separate until the hospital staff forces them to.

Eddie can't stop shaking. He takes Buck to his loft, orders them food, makes sure Buck eats his fill and while Buck is showering the grime of the day off, Eddie braces himself against the sink and tries to breathe.

Three hours. For three hours Buck had been trapped in a half burning building, smoke and chemicals and god knows what filling the air and it had all collapsed on top of him. They couldn't smell him, couldn't find him. They hadn't even known if he was alive and given that the rescue became a recovery for the other victims inside...

He's alive. He's upstairs showering. Buck's alive and has food in his belly and he's coming down the stairs clean and dressed in a baggy shirt and his most comfortable sweat pants.

Eddie abandons the pretense of doing the dishes and goes to him, wrapping his arms around Buck's middle and burying his face in the crook of Buck's neck. The shaking only stops when Buck's long arms wrap around him and hold tight, Buck leaning down to press his face against Eddie's hair.

"Buck." Eddie swallows thickly and tries again when his voice cracks. "Buck you can't do that to me."

"The floor-"

"Yeah." Eddie blows out a breath. He knows. The building plans made no mention of a basement so they had gone in without knowing that. The very thing that made the floor unstable is what saved Buck's life. "But we couldn't... there was no scent to follow, there was no way to communicate with you. For three hours we thought you were dead."

The shakes start up again, his hands trembling against Buck's back. Buck's grip on him tightens. He noses against Eddie's hairline and breathes deep, his own hands sweeping up Eddie's back, his arms, his shoulders before cupping Eddie's face and tilting him back to look him in the eye.

"I'm right here," he promises. "I'm okay."

"This time. Buck... whatever the reason, whatever it is, I don't care. We don't care." Eddie licks his lips. "We have to be able to... you need to join the pack." Buck swallows, his hands dropping. He looks away. "You don't ever have to shift in front of us. We would never force you to do that. I don't- even if you and I never... if we don't get together, okay." It'll just crush his heart into thousands of pieces but he'll be fine.

Buck's eyes snap back to his, the irises glowing gold in the shadows.

"But for your safety, for our sanity, please, god, join the pack."

He's begging. He's pleading. He doesn't care- he will literally get on his knees and beg if that's what it takes. Because for three long, long hours, the longest hours of Eddie's life, Buck had been a recovery mission.

Bobby'd removed himself as incident commander, unable to give commands or focus with Buck missing, with the odds plummeting the longer the radio was silent. It took an hour after Buck fell for the flames to finally lay down and die and then they'd all ignored orders and sprinted back into the building, screaming for their missing friend.

Silence had greeted them, as well as a charred body- one of the victims they hadn't been able to find in time.

Eddie steps towards Buck, reaching out to smooth the fabric of Buck's shirt across his chest. He can feel Buck's heart pounding.

"Whatever it is," he says, so softly, soft enough that he's barely speaking, "whatever you think you need to hide from us... it's okay."

"You..." Buck is chewing on his lip, eyes downcast. "You didn't... see?"

Eddie frowns, unsure. What is Buck asking?

"Your wolf form?" he guesses. Buck nods. "No, not really. I saw that you're... massive to be honest, but you were covered in debris and soot. I saw a huge brown and black wolf. I have no idea what you look like." Because he can't help himself, because he's weak, Eddie gently runs his thumb over Buck's birthmark like he's always wanted to. "I could see this. I knew it was you under all the grime."

Buck leans into the touch, his hand coming up to grip Eddie's wrist. He seems to be having some kind of internal debate with himself so Eddie stays quiet. Whatever decision is about to be made needs to come from Buck alone, but Eddie is not going to back down on this. They don't have to know what Buck looks like as a wolf, they just need him safe, able to communicate with the rest of the pack always.

Eddie needs Buck protected. Safe. He'll do whatever it takes to make that happen.

"I..." Buck lets out a controlled breath and steps back. "I guess I should show you."

And then he's stripping his baggy shirt over his head, kicking his threadbare sweatpants off and standing before Eddie in just his skintight blue briefs.

All of the moisture in Eddie's mouth evaporates. He swallows around a very dry throat. Where did all of the air in here go?

And then a huge golden wolf is standing before him.

Eddie can't stop the gasp that leaves him.

He's gold, literally gold, so bright and yellow that he practically glows even under the apartment lighting. The fur is thick, golden as the sun with threads of red and fifty different shades of sunlight threaded through. When he moves it's like watching the sun come over the horizon.

Eddie drops to his knees. His mouth bounces off the floor.

"Buck," he breathes. "You're..." golden, one of a kind, a goddamn walking sunset right in front of him. "...beautiful."

Buck blinks, head coming up slightly. He's massive, truly huge. Now that Eddie's not running on adrenaline and fear he can really see it. Kneeling as he is, Buck's head comes up a little higher than his. He's got to be bigger than Eddie in wolf form- he's surely the biggest wolf Eddie's ever seen in person.

And there, just above his eye is a deep red spot. Right where his birthmark is.

Eddie reaches out, gives Buck plenty of time to see him coming, and runs his finger across the red stain. Buck leans into the touch, eyes slitting in content.

"Look at you." Eddie can't get over it. He's never seen anything like this, never seen such bright, vibrant coloring before. It's something straight out of a storybook, a shitty CGI movie, but it's Buck, this beautiful creature in front of him is Buck. "A golden wolf. I've never seen... god, you really, really need to join the pack, Buck."

Buck sniffs. Whines.

"Don't argue with me." Eddie gets his other hand under Buck's snout and forces eye contact. "We figured you'd be a target for the pelt hunters. Don't give me that look," he adds, seeing Buck's eyes go wide. "We're not idiots, we figured you were rare, figured you thought you needed to hide to keep yourself safe but Buck... there's an active ring of pelt hunters in the city right now. Being in the pack could make all the difference. If you got in trouble we'd know immediately."

Instantly. They'd know the second Buck was in danger if they were all bonded. It could make all the difference in the world.

The fur under Eddie's hands becomes skin but the blue eyes locked on Eddie's are the same when Buck shifts back.

"Pelt hunters are vicious," Buck spits. He makes no move to shake off Eddie's grip. "They've been known to kidnap pack members and force the one they want into an exchange: them for the person they took. If I'm in a pack then-"

"You think someone could hurt one of us."

"It's my life. It's my responsibility to-"

"To stay alive," Eddie cuts in. "Your job is to fight, to make sure you come home safe if they ever get their hands on you."

Buck shakes his head, dislodging Eddie's grip. He scoots closer, fisting his hands in Eddie's shirt. "Do you know how much my pelt would be worth?" he asks. "What the poachers would do to get their hands on someone like me?"

Eddie doesn't even want to consider it.

"Do you want to know what I'd do to anyone who lays a hand on you?" he growls. "Or Bobby? Athena?" He takes Buck's hands in his, uses the connection to pull Buck closer, get an arm around his shoulders. "Buck... I don't know why you think you have to go through this alone. Do you really think that if you're in danger we won't come running, even now? We're here, we're your family and we love you." He swallows, tries to get his heart back into his chest where it belongs instead of letting it strangle him. "I love you. I want you safe. I want-"

He's cut off, the words falling into Buck's mouth when he leans forward and presses his lips against Eddie's.

Eddie's response is immediate. He angles his head, untangles his hand from Buck's to slide his fingers through those blonde curls and pull Buck impossibly closer, until the taller man is in his lap properly. Buck's hands frame his face now, sliding back into his hair and he kisses Eddie for all he's worth.

God it's even better than he imagined, Buck pressed up against him, all that skin on display and begging to be touched.

Well he's not about to waste the opportunity. Buck's so responsive, arching his back when Eddie trails a light fingertip down his spine. He pulls away with a gasp when Eddie leaves fingertip shaped bruises on his hips and Eddie presses the advantage, kissing his way down Buck's neck. He mouths carefully at the juncture of Buck's neck and shoulder, the exact spot he'd bite if they mated.

Buck whimpers, fisting his hand in Eddie's hair, hips rocking against Eddie's. He uses his free hand to yank at Eddie's shirt, impatiently using his claws when the material doesn't cooperate and simply tearing it to shreds to get it out of his way.

Oh-so-carefully, Eddie scrapes his teeth against the spot on Buck's neck, gently sucks- a hint, a promise of what's to come, a declaration.

"Fuck," Buck gasps, yanking on Eddie's hair to pull him back before sealing his mouth against Eddie's again. His clever tongue licks into Eddie's mouth, tangles with his own and Eddie is lost. This is it, he's done, ruined forever and it's glorious.

He needs to get his pants off. Now.

Buck yanks them to their feet, hands exploring and gripping. He helps Eddie out of the confines of his pants, get his hands all over Eddie: his chest, his back, down his stomach, to his hips. All the while his mouth stays attached to Eddie's before moving down to suck at Eddie's neck.

The groan that explodes out of Eddie is loud, fills the space between them and the ceiling.

"Please," Eddie whimpers, aware that he's begging again. "Buck, god, please-"

Buck is panting like a marathon runner when he pulls back enough to rest his forehead against Eddie's. He doesn't release Eddie, hands still restlessly roaming Eddie's back, down to grip and knead his ass.

"Okay," he says softly, pressing a sweet kiss to Eddie's mouth. "Okay I- I'll... I'll talk to Bobby about... okay."

Eddie could cry from joy. He nearly does, dropping his head into Buck's neck. He scents Buck, rubbing his cheek, his forehead, his nose right against Buck's scent glands. Buck huffs out a laugh, head tipping back. He bares his throat to Eddie, all trust and love, spine arching backwards and lets Eddie lick and sniff until he's satisfied.

"You scented me," he says, lips brushing Buck's skin with every word. "When we got you out- you scented me for the first time." He bites gently at Buck's shoulder- not a mate mark, not yet. Not until Buck joins the pack. Just enough to remind Buck that he's here, to show anyone who sees that Buck is wanted.

Buck's mouth crashes into his, this kiss desperate and sloppy. He hauls Eddie up onto the island, throws him like it's easy and steps between Eddie's spread legs. Eddie hooks his ankles around each other, uses his shins to pull Buck as close as possible before sliding his tongue back into his mouth.

"Knew you'd taste like this," he growls, sinking his teeth into Buck's plump lower lip. "Knew you'd taste so good for me."

"Eddie," Buck gasps, arching when Eddie's claws dig into his back. "Fuck, yes, god-" Buck bites his shoulder, down to his pec and back up to kiss him again. "I want this. I want you. I love you so much-"

"Then fucking have me."

Buck hauls him up, picks Eddie up like he weighs nothing and carries him up to the bed. And has him.

It's impossible to keep secrets from werewolves. Buck knows this. He knows that the second he and Eddie step into the station that everyone is going to know exactly what he and Eddie were up to last night. And this morning. And right after breakfast.

("If I didn't know any better," Buck gasps, getting his teeth on Eddie's earlobe and tugging playfully, "I'd say you're trying- ah- to get me to smell like you."

"No," Eddie growls, angling his hips and thrusting harder. "I'm going to make you smell like us.")

And the pack does not disappoint.

"Finally," Hen says, the word leaving her in a gust. "Wow, I thought you fools would never figure it out." She's grinning, peering at them over her medical textbook, but she's Hen and she knows all. She probably would have figured it out even if they didn't smell like they'd spent all night and part of this morning fucking each other stupid.

"Who figured what ou-ohhhh." Chimney's grin is wide and shit-eating. "Aw, you guys are gross," he coos, crunching into his celery.

"Man, shut up." Buck tries to be grumpy at them but he's so goddamn happy he can't quite manage it.

It's hard to be anything but happy when he has Eddie freaking Diaz plastered to his side and smelling like him. Like them. When Eddie is reluctant to move away or even let go of Buck long enough to make himself a cup of coffee. He's so far from unhappy it's unreal.

Eddie loves him. Eddie wants to be his mate.

Eddie also wants him to join the pack officially, which is terrifying. But he knows now, he's seen the last of Buck's secrets and he's still arguing in favor of Buck becoming one of them.

And Buck had agreed. He'd promised Eddie- between the makeout and the mad dash to the bedroom- that he'd at least talk to Bobby about it. He doesn't have to really join. He can be bonded to everyone and not be around during full moons. He doesn't have to show anyone if he doesn't want to. Eddie agrees to that but Buck thinks he'd agree to just about anything if it gets him in the pack.

But still. He'd promised. And the full moon is in a few days.

Bobby wrinkles his nose at them and Buck freezes. Shit.

Bobby's the Alpha, the captain, the one in charge in every aspect. What if he doesn't approve of Buck and Eddie? What if he orders them to stop? What if he doesn't want Buck in the pack, or kicks Eddie out? What if-

"No funny business while on duty," Bobby is saying, eyeing them both. "You need to remain professional, both of you."

"Yes, Cap," Eddie promises.

Buck swallows. Nods.

Bobby breaks into a grin. "Good. I'm glad you two have found each other at last." He grabs a wooden spoon from the utensil holder on the counter and stirs the soup simmering in the pot. One good thing about having a werewolf captain that loves to cook: they're never in any danger of going hungry. "Does this mean you'll be joining us for the full moon Buck?"

A cold sweat starts to form on Buck's spine.

Eddie doesn't even glance over. He simply reaches out and takes Buck's hand in his.

"I... yes." He'd promised, after all. "But there's um... something you guys should know before I- before we talk about me joining the pack."

Chimney dips his celery stalk directly into the peanut butter jar. Crunches into it. "Is this about why Maddie says you're 'one of a kind'?" he asks around a mouthful. When Buck nods, he tilts his head. "Are you like... polka dotted or something?"

"... polka dots?" Buck blinks, head swiveling to stare incredulously at Chimney. "You think I have polka dots?"

"I've never seen a polka dotted wolf," Chimney defends, licking peanut butter off his fingers. "It would fit."

"Stripes," Hen guesses, a grin firmly in place. She highlights something in her textbook, not even looking up.

"I've seen a wolf with stripes before."

"Yeah but they're rare, right?"

"I suppose... I still say he's got polka dots."

Eddie is snickering into his coffee, hand still firmly in Buck's. Buck shakes his head, ignoring Hen and Chim deciding to bet ten bucks and the next coffee run on his coat coloring. He wonders what the outcome will be when they both lose.

"Told you. We all kind of figured it out," Eddie tells him, leaning into Buck's chest.

"And... you all still want me around?"

Bobby's got that fond look on his face again as he watches the two of them. "Of course, Buck," he says, tapping the spoon on the edge of the pot to catch any drips. "You're family."

"Maybe he glows in the dark," Chimney says, eyes wide. "Buck, do you glow in the dark?"

"Oh my god."

"I mean..." Eddie gives him a considering look. "Kind of. You're very vibrant."

Hen sits up straight. "Eddie," she gasps, book falling closed and being tossed aside. "You know?"

"Yeah."

"So Eddie's out of the betting pool," Chim immediately announces. "Cap, what are your thoughts? Winner gets free coffee for a month."

Buck can't keep the grin off is face, his heart swelling when Bobby tilts his head and gives Buck a considering look. "I don't know," he says, narrowing his eyes. "Maybe he's got chimera markings?"

"Oooh, good guess, Cap." Hen is frantically scribbling in her notebook, hand out to accept the money Chimney forks over.

It's just so... ordinary. Every day. They genuinely literally do not care.

At least not right now. They might once they see him, once they really are able to see the danger they'd be in once he... if he joins.

"Hey, um." Buck clears his throat. "In all seriousness... if one person, just one says no, that they think it's too dangerous for me to join then I'm out." Hen, Chim and Bobby all blink at him, equally stunned. "I'm not going to force anyone to accept me or put anyone in danger who doesn't agree, so."

Bobby wipes his hands and crosses the room, reaching out to grip Buck's shoulder. "Buck, we all want you with us. Don't worry about it. We'll see you in two days and we'll go from there, okay?"

Hen frowns at him. "It'll be nice to have the whole pack together for once," she says pointedly, staring Buck down. "Cap, your bet?"

Eddie noses at Buck's jaw while Bobby forks over the ten bucks, presses a quick kiss to the skin there. "Stop worrying," he murmurs. "It's going to be fine."

"And if it's not?" Buck can't help but ask. In Eddie's hand, his own wants to shake.

Eddie merely tightens his grip, thumb rubbing against the skin and leans in to scent Buck once more. It's not necessary- they smell like each other so much the others are giving them a bit of a wide berth- but there's comfort in the motion for them both.

"Then I'll be right there with you," Eddie promises him.

"Polka dots. Really, Chim?"

"Hey, it would be one of a kind! I stand by it."

Athena welcomes them inside and immediately hands Buck a large platter of assorted meats. "Put this on the table," she orders him, turning to hand Eddie the cups.

No one blinks when Buck arrives, merely calling out greetings, stopping him to snag various things from the platters he's helping Athena arrange. Buck looks a little shell shocked, nervously chewing his lip, eyes wide. Eddie can practically feel his anxiety ratcheting up another notch and he starts nudging Buck over to Maddie before he vibrates out of his skin.

Maddie notices immediately (because of course she does). When she plops Jee-Yun into Buck's lap, she pulls down the collar of his shirt and examines his neck.

"Aw," she pouts. "I was hoping..."

"Uh." Buck is bright red. Eddie is relieved- Maddie won't be killing him for defiling her little brother after all. "Wouldn't you have known if we'd already mated? I'd be in the pack by default."

"True." Maddie's gaze snap to his, her eyes faintly glowing gold. "So you plan on mating him, then?"

Buck rubs his forehead, one arm firmly around his niece. "Maddie..."

"Yes," Eddie tells her, no hesitation. "As soon as he's in the pack, that's the next step." He shrugs at Buck's wide-eyed stare. "I love you. I told you, I want you as my mate."

"I didn't think you'd just... come out and tell my sister."

"What do you want me to do, hide it from her?"

Maddie's eyes narrow. Buck shrinks down into himself. Eddie takes a step back.

"Okay, yeah, no." He scratches at the back of his neck and leans away from his still glaring sister. "We wouldn't hide it- how would we even do that? You'd be able to smell it on us and our bond would be stronger than it is now. Please stop glaring."

Maddie purses her lips. "So the only thing stopping you is that you don't want Buck in the pack unless he agrees to join?" she asks, turning her full attention to Eddie. At Eddie's nod, she drops the glare, a smile coming out full force. "Aw. My little brother's in love!"

"Christ, you're worse than Chim."

"False, I am the best. Now then." She makes shooing motions at Eddie and snuggles up to her brother. "We have some things to discuss so."

Eddie, knowing full well the sisterly interrogation that's about to befall Buck, wisely retreats.

And when the sun sets, before the moon rises, Buck awkwardly clears his throat, releases Eddie's hand. Eddie thinks he'll make a big announcement, a speech, call everyone's attention to him but instead he just simply shifts in the middle of the living room.

Every single conversation around them stops dead.

Then...

"Huh. No polka dots."

Even in wolf form, the unimpressed, flat look Buck gives Chimney speaks volumes.

"Wow," Hen breathes, releasing Karen's hand to lean forward a bit. "Look at you."

"I always thought he looks like one of those butterscotch candies in the sunlight," Maddie says, placing Jee carefully on the play mat at her feet. She starts stripping out of her button down, revealing a tighter tank top underneath that will shift with her. "All gold with hints of red."

"I never seen anything like it. He's literally golden."

"One of a kind all right. And he's enormous. No wonder you eat so much."

Harry pops up over the back of the couch. "He's like the size of a direwolf from Game of Thrones," he declares.

Athena's gaze snaps to her son. "And how do you know how big those wolves are?" she demands, hands on her hips. "You are far too young to be watching such a show- you know that. What exactly have you been watching online?"

Harry pauses. Opens his mouth. Shuts it. "Uh..." he tries.

"Busted," May hisses beside him, laughing when her brother slowly slides down behind the couch again, away from his mother's piercing gaze and tries to hide under his big sister's arm. Like that would protect him from Athena.

"It's probably some kind of rare recessive gene," Karen is saying, face fond when she gazes at Buck. "It's so pretty."

"Like a walking sunset." Eddie doesn't realize he's said it out loud until he clocks the expression on Maddie's face, the hand over her heart. He shrugs, feeling his cheeks heat up. It's true.

Christopher bounds over, already in wolf form and immediately buries his snout in Buck's neck, scenting him again. He's not the least bit bothered by Buck having to duck down to allow it- Christopher's head barely reaches Buck's chest like this and something in Eddie threatens to crack open with how much he loves them both.

He's not ashamed of the tears that prick his eyes when Buck cautiously licks Christopher's neck in return, scenting the pup for the first time. Christopher nearly vibrates through the coffee table in his excitement, feet tip-tapping against the floor and excited yips escaping him.

"Oh my god that is so cute I can't."

Bobby stands and conversation around them falls silent once more. Buck nearly shrinks under the Alpha's gaze but he steps forward, head up. He nearly comes up to Bobby's shoulders- he's honestly the biggest wolf any of them have ever seen.

Bobby glances around and Eddie can feel the pack's agreement to the silent question, the excitement of someone new joining them- and Maddie's deep relief- when Bobby shifts, shaking out his grey fur and bracing himself on the chair to gently nip the back of Buck's neck. He licks the spot, scenting Buck, sniffing and licking until he's satisfied.

Until Buck's bond joins the others and the pack is finally complete.

Eddie shifts then too, padding over to get his head under Buck's and lick at his muzzle. Buck whines, pressing into him and shakes a little, hiding his face in Eddie's thick fur.

Told you, he thinks, smug and happy and overjoyed. He feels the others laugh as they shift as well, the moon rising outside. Soon they'll all be sprinting around, hyper and happy and ready to run the night away. They usually do laps around the yard, or maybe run to the nearby park for races before they head back and this time, finally, Buck will be with them where he belongs.

Buck playfully nips Eddie's ear, tail wagging before he drops into a playful bow, eyes bright under his birthmark. Christopher mimics him, tail whipping up a storm, tongue lolling out.

"Nobody better dig up my garden," Athena announces with a pointed look at Chimney- who promptly busies himself sniffing Jee and pretending he's not hiding behind his mate. "I don't care if you find another gopher, whoever digs it up has to replant it all." She waits until she sees the threat has landed and then nods. "All right. Go on, now. We'll see you all in the morning."

The pack doesn't hesitate, scrambling out the door in a stampede of fur and playful growls and yips, all of them happily disappearing into the night.

Buck's so happy he feels like it should be illegal.

He's got a pack. He's in a pack, a family, he belongs somewhere. Every night he curls up against Eddie and breathes him in, smells their mixing scents, smells Christopher's scent on top of theirs and it fills him with such happiness he can't stand it.

He'd spent his first full moon outside in years. He'd run and run, wrestled, played, hunted gophers (in the park, nowhere near Athena's garden, he's not stupid) and best of all at the end of the night he'd curled up in wolf form and slept in a pile with Eddie and Chris.

Despite being much bigger than Eddie when wolfed out, he'd woken with Eddie curled protectively around him, face pressed against Buck's neck, Christopher asleep on his back against Buck's stomach, paws sticking straight up in the air.

Athena had been kind enough to snap pictures of them. He has them on his phone now, proudly displayed as his wallpaper.

So of course it all starts going to shit two weeks later.

"Another body was found today, left in a dirty alley," Taylor Kelly reports on the TV. "This makes six wolves that have been taken from their homes and the third body found. Three people are still missing, feared dead and the police are asking for your help..."

Because no matter what, life likes to remind Buck that he's not allowed to be so happy, that things have to be balanced. He joins a pack, the pack accepts him, another wolf goes missing. He basically moves in with Eddie, starts dating Eddie, lets Eddie court him and his landlord refuses to let Buck out of his lease.

"I don't know why he's not letting me move," Buck grumbles, trying desperately to ignore the news story playing behind them. "It's not like he's happy with werewolves living there."

Eddie's eyes glow gold. "What?"

"He's not like... against us or anything," Buck hurries to add. "He just thinks they cause more property damage." And given that Buck is not getting his security deposit back due to the scars from his claws on the bathroom door, he has to admit the landlord- scummy as he is- kind of has a point. "He makes us pay werewolf fees. They're about the same as a pet deposit."

Eddie growls low in his throat, reaching over to rest his hand on Buck's forearm. "I can't wait until you're out of there," he says lowly, eyes still faintly gold. "Until we can go home together, wake up together every morning."

Buck swallows around a dry throat, feeling the blush starting to crawl up his face. Eddie smirks and leans in to kiss him.

"Cap," Chimney calls, long suffering, "they're being cute again."

"Tell them to stop?" Bobby suggests over his shoulder, distracted by the reports scattered in front of him.

"Yeah cus that's gonna work. Even you can't get them to stop."

"It's your turn to buy the coffee," Hen reminds her partner, absorbed in her own book. She glances up, gaze cutting to Buck with a frown.

"If you or anyone has any information about the pelt hunters," Taylor says on screen. Hen reaches over to snag the remote, flicking the tv off.

Buck relaxes the smallest bit, turning his hand over for Eddie to hold.

"Hey, we all lost the bet," Chimney reminds them. "No one had as golden as the sun in the pool."

"So the pot went into the coffee fund and it's your turn to go pick up the orders." Hen licks her finger, turns the page of her textbook. "Get to it. No cinnamon in mine this time, extra shot of espresso."

Chimney grumbles but takes everyone's order, waves off Buck's offer to pay for his and Eddie reaching for his own wallet. "No, no. You two are getting ready to mate so your coffee is free."

"I mean... I didn't bet on myself and you wouldn't let Eddie bet," Buck reminds him. "We didn't really contribute to the coffee fund."

"The bet was about you," Bobby cuts in before anyone else can speak. "Therefore you profit from it as well."

"Mating means we get free coffee?" Eddie plasters himself against Buck's back and makes a show of kissing his neck. "In that case, c'mere."

Buck laughs, making no move to get Eddie off while Chimney scowls and pretends to gag, all but running out the bay doors to get away from them. Hen chuckles, going back to her studying.

"When are you two sealing the deal?" she asks, scribbling something down in her notes.

Buck feels Eddie smirk against his neck, the way Eddie's arms tighten around his middle and has to fight to keep his knees locked so he doesn't simply melt into the ground in a puddle of wolf lust.

"Soon," Eddie promises, pressing one last kiss to Buck's skin before releasing him. "I'm not as patient as I used to be. We're just trying to work out the living situation right now."

"I'm not waiting until my lease runs out to mate you," Buck says firmly. "I'm not patient at all."

"We're aware," Hen deadpans. She just grins when Buck glares at her.

"Well, still. I'm not waiting three more months."

"Hell no," Eddie growls, getting his hand around Buck's wrist and yanking him down into his lap. "Neither of us are waiting that long."

"Your landlord won't let you out of your lease three months early?" Bobby frowns. "Why not?"

"I don't know. I said I'd pay the fees, let him keep my deposit but he's not budging. I'll figure it out."

Chimney gets back with the coffees just in time for the alarm to blare, has to hurry to set them down and get into his gear. It's already dark out, the sun just barely still up and it's going to be a long night if they get another call before any of them are suitably caffeinated.

"Okay listen up," Bobby calls as they pile out of the rig. "Dispatch got a call from a werewolf that's now gone quiet. Medical distress, nothing known beyond that. We're going to have to fan out and search for them. Keep your radios on and stay in contact with each other at all times." His gaze lands on Buck, lingers.

Buck braces for it, for Bobby telling him that he needs to hang back or stick with Eddie rather than searching for the prone person who needs help. He'll understand. He won't like it, but if he needs to hang back he will. The campground is massive and only partially open, some of the campsites deep in the trees. It's going to take much longer than they have if they have to search them all.

Bobby merely gives him a look that speaks for itself, a quiet communication through the bond of be careful before moving on, barking out orders to Ravi and getting the humans on the call to hang back, give the wolves a chance to sniff out the victim first before they all disappear into the trees to search.

"This campground lists over one hundred campsites," Bobby tells him, relaying the information dispatch is giving him. "About twenty of them are in use right now. We've got rangers going through and trying to contact everyone who's checked in but not everyone left a number. We might have to go site-to-site to check."

Buck's not about to take any unnecessary risks and sticks a little closer to Eddie than he technically should- still searching, still calling out and sniffing around but he keeps Eddie in his sights at all times, hand near his radio in case he needs to call out.

Then he remembers that he's in the pack now, that he doesn't have to be as careful as he usually is. He can step a little further away as long as he can sense Eddie and the others, as long as they know he's nearby. Eddie clearly isn't happy with that but he simply probes his bond with Buck, lets him know he's close by before stepping away to check a nearby site.

"LAFD!" he calls, hearing Hen to his right echoing him. They pause, waiting for a voice to respond, a groan, something. When nothing calls out they move deeper into the campsite, Hen disappearing from view.

He can't smell any blood which is probably for the best. Still, Buck doesn't like how quiet the campground is. Isn't the point of camping to go into nature? Why would anyone want to go into nature and then not experience it, not get the full-

He doesn't see it coming, doesn't even sense the man behind him until something loops over his neck, tightens, pulls, burns. It burns, it hurts and Buck howls, canines dropping down, eyes glowing gold when he drops to his knees and claws at the thing around his neck on instinct.

"Fuck, shut him up," someone behind him orders. There's more than one but he can't focus through the burning sensation wrapped tight tight tight around his throat, restricting his air supply and forcing him backwards onto the ground. He lands prone on his back, eyes wide.

It fucking hurts and something that burns just as much, that hurts just as much wraps around his wrist, looping and digging in, yanking his arm backwards. He can't suck in enough air to breathe so he twists, bucks, fights. He tries to wriggle away, to shift, but the pain sears into his brain and he can't think, can't do anything, what's happening, why is- what's going on?

"Come on, come on," another voice says, closer than the first. "We ain't got all day. Get him in the van before the rest notice."

"This is a dumb plan-"

"Shut the hell up, you didn't have a better one. Fucker's worth our weight in gold."

The pack. Oh god the pack. Buck snarls, growls, snaps at the hands that descend on him. He gets his fangs into one and he bites down hard, tearing the flesh and ripping it off the bone. Someone screams, a boot connecting with his ribs and forcing him to let go.

"Fucking-"

"Sedate him, hurry."

He smells the chemicals coming closer, doesn't want them anywhere near him. He tries to shift, tries to get away, do something, anything, but there's silver digging into his skin, wrapped around his neck and both wrists, yanking his arms above his head and forcing his neck to arch to keep his airway open. He kicks out, feels his own boot connect with someone's leg and send them to the ground. Something sharp stabs into his thigh and he howls.

How many are there? He can't tell, can't see because it all burns, it hurts, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie-!

"I thought you said he wasn't in the pack!" a fourth- fifth?- voice yells, and then there are several voices, snarls and yips and bloodcurdling growls the reverberate down his spine, that cut through the burning. He can't move, can't get away and it hurts so so bad.

The chains around him go slack and Buck rolls onto his stomach, sucks in a desperate gulp of air down his burning throat and tries to get his eyes to focus. The pack. He can't let them get to the pack. It's him they want. It's him they're after.

The smell of blood fills his nose, so much blood but all he can do is curl into a ball and whimper, praying the pain stops soon. He feels woozy, dizzy. Something doesn't feel right, it's wrong, it all hurts. Eddie. Where's Eddie? Is Eddie okay? Are the others all right? Don't hurt them, please. Take him, just leave them alone.

He whimpers, shies away from the hands that touch him. A soft voice speaks, sounds so familiar. He can't make out the words, can't hear anything through the pain. He whines when the hands touch his neck, move the silver away but the pain is less when they're done so he doesn't fight when they unwrap the binds from his arms.

"Shhh," the voice says and it sounds like Bobby, smells like Alpha. Bobby smells like warm spices, like your favorite meal cooking over a flame. "We've got you." Something else, another scent hiding under the blood around Bobby's mouth but Buck can only whimper, the world spinning around him. "You're safe."

"Eddie," he manages, trying to lift his head and look around but oh, that makes everything spin so much faster. Why is everything spinning? Why does he hurt so much?

"Here, I'm here." Eddie, Eddie. The smell of sandalwood, of blood fills his nose. He feels Eddie's hands run through his hair, the way Eddie trembles when he touches him. "You're safe, we've got you, baby. It's okay. They can't hurt you now."

Buck whimpers, tries to burrow into Eddie's lap. "I fought," he says with a thick tongue that tastes like blood that's not his own. "I fought."

"You did." Eddie presses trembling lips to Buck's forehead, smoothes his hand through Buck's hair. "I'm so proud of you. You fought, gave us time to get to you."

"Eddie..."

"I'm here. I've got you."

Buck curls into him, feels the pack around him, thinks safe and gives in to the darkness creeping into his vision, going limp in Eddie's arms, the smell of sandalwood surrounding him.

The hospital doesn't even try to separate Eddie from Buck.

It's probably for the best. Eddie knows his eyes are glowing gold. He can feel his canines, knows they're extended and sharp. He's pretty sure that's actually him growling at every nurse, doctor, attendant that comes into the room but none of them say anything to him.

He's eventually able to stop growling when the doctor lets Bobby step into the room.

"Eddie," Bobby says, voice level and calm. "Take a deep breath."

"They almost..."

"But they didn't," Bobby reminds him. He doesn't touch Eddie, doesn't try to get him away from Buck. He arranges himself in the chair beside Eddie, reaches out to gently grip Buck's hand. He lets out a shaky breath, briefly closes his eyes. "And they won't. The five men that attacked Buck tonight-" he pauses to let Eddie snarl, doesn't comment on the way Eddie grips Buck's arm tighter. "-they were part of the poacher ring and Athena says they're flipping on the others."

"Good."

"Yes. So take a breath." Bobby isn't asking and Eddie tries to obey his Alpha but fuck, his heart is still pumping. His hands are still shaking.

Buck's got bandages around his neck, both arms up to his elbows. Eddie is sporting a matching bandage on his left arm, where those fucking monsters had gotten a silver chain around him as well, tried to pull him away from Buck, tried to yank him down to the ground while they did their best to haul a limp but fighting Buck into a waiting van.

It hadn't worked out very well for them.

They'd been watching the 118 for a little bit, trying to determine if any of them had pelts worth hunting. They'd zeroed in on Buck pretty quick, easily able to spot the one wolf who was separate from the others. They never stayed long enough to let their scents linger, never came back two days in a row. And they'd seen them all at the park during the last full moon, had seen Buck in all of his bright, golden glory.

With Buck's birthmark displayed it was easy enough to figure out who was who. Their mistake was thinking Buck hadn't joined the pack yet, thinking that it would be the next full moon and trying to grab him before that happened.

Their mistake was going after Buck at all.

The false call about a werewolf in distress is an old trick and they'd fallen for it, but they didn't get Buck. Buck, beautiful, brave Buck had fought them even with silver digging into his skin and a sedative in his system. He bit one, tearing the skin right off the bone, kicked another hard enough to snap his shin.

And the pack came running.

Bobby had ripped one of their throats out, killing the man almost instantly. Chimney had pulverized the bones in another's leg. Hen took great pleasure in dragging one over the rocky ground and shaking viciously until he was unconscious. Eddie had yanked an arm out of socket and nearly removed it entirely, the limb caught between his jaws when he yanked back on the man restraining him.

Five poachers caught of the seven in the ring. One dead, the others pretty severely injured, the other two captured and arrested. Athena took great pleasure in slapping the cuffs on the other two personally, cuffs tight and digging in. She's assured the pack that what they did was self defense- the human crew is backing them up and Buck was obviously in great danger when they'd attacked.

Eddie doesn't remember much after getting Buck back in his arms but apparently the driver of the van was held by Ravi, an axe resting against his throat and he was all too happy to tell everyone where the rest of the ring was waiting for them in exchange for not getting his head cut off.

"That was too close," Eddie breathes, all but melting into the bed. He droops forward, head resting against Buck's arm. "Too fucking close."

Bobby's next breath stutters. "Yeah," he agrees, voice cracking. "But he's okay. They're flushing the sedative out of his system now and you can take him home tomorrow. We're all off pending investigation-" Eddie's head snaps up. "To be fair... I did kill someone."

Eddie's stomach drops like a stone. He doesn't know what to say, doesn't want to rejoice in the death, not when Bobby caused it and it could be weighing on him.

"Fuck. Bobby... I know that's hard."

"It wasn't," Bobby says simply. "I didn't even hesitate. One of my own was in danger. I was fully within my rights to protect him. I don't regret it."

Eddie can still taste the blood of that poacher in his mouth. Can still see the fear in Buck's cloudy blue eyes. Can hear Buck's call for help exploding in his head, the panic and confusion that had clouded him.

"This is exactly what he was afraid of," Eddie tells Bobby quietly. "He didn't want us getting hurt trying to save him." He flexes his arm, eyes on the sterile bandage. They heal faster than humans but silver burns take up to a week to fully fade. Buck's going to have those marks on his neck, on his arms for over a week, a stark reminder against his pale skin.

"We would have done it anyway, whether he was pack or not."

"Yeah." Eddie reaches up, traces Buck's birthmark with a careful hand. "How long will we be out of commission?"

"About a week," Athena's quiet voice says from the doorway. "It's very clear-cut defense of a pack member. None of you can be charged with a damn thing." She presses a trembling hand to her mouth. "Oh Buck." She accepts the hand Bobby extends to her, wraps her husband, her mate close. "Bobby, baby are you okay?"

Bobby closes his eyes, pressing his face into his wife's stomach. "Yeah," he says, feeling Buck begin to wake, seeing those blue eyes begin to open. "We're okay."

Buck moves in as soon as he's out of the hospital. He doesn't care about the lease or his ex-landlord. He'll pay rent for the next three months and not renew his lease and just hand over his keys. He doesn't care. He just wants Eddie, wants Christopher nearby.

The marks on his neck are raw and angry, the ones on his hands and arms deep. They hurt, they're going to hurt for a while. Silver burns are no joke, but he's alive.

The pack had come for him.

They'd killed for him. Bobby had killed someone. He's not in any trouble for it, none of them are. A camper in the distance had caught most of the attack on film and that's going a long way in waving away doubt anyone had. The camper had tried to sell it to a news station instead of turning it over to the cops but luckily Athena had swooped in and put the fear of god into him and snatched the recording up, presenting it as proper evidence.

Bobby isn't even suspended. He's back at work less than a week after the attack, joining Chim and Hen at the station and immediately approving Eddie's request for time off to take care of Buck.

"Hey." Arms appear around Buck's middle, a mouth presses a kiss just under the still red mark on Buck's neck. "Can't sleep?"

Buck shakes his head, unable to speak.

"Nightmares?"

He shakes his head again. Somehow, despite the extremely traumatic event (a group of men had tried to kidnap him so they could skin him and then sell his pelt, that's nothing if not traumatic) Buck's managed to avoid having nightmares. If only because he can't sleep more than a few hours a night before he's jolting awake.

How had he missed them sneaking up on them? Athena says they had some kind of masking agents in their systems, something that made their scents blend in with the area but he should know better. He's lived his life fearing for his safety, the safety of those around him and they'd still gotten the drop on him.

They'd hurt Eddie. For a minute there, it had looked like Bobby would lose his job.

"I can see where your brain is going." Eddie gently turns Buck to face him, hands cupping his face. He ducks, catching Buck's gaze with his own. "Don't, okay? I would take a thousand burns if it meant you came home safely. I'd do all of it again, Buck."

"I never wanted any of you to have to..."

"We're always going to come for you. Always, Buck."

He knows. Even before he was pack, even back when he was just the Lone Wolf that happened to work with a pack, they'd always come after him when he was in trouble. Into a warehouse fire, running to lift a firetruck off him, catching him before he hit the dirty, wet ground and staying with him while he was in the hospital.

Does he deserve this kind of love? No. No, Buck knows he isn't worthy of Eddie, of the others that have gathered around him- no matter what Eddie says, or how loudly Maddie argues with him.

But he wants it. He wants them, wants his family, wants Eddie so bad he can practically taste it.

"I love you," he says, kissing Eddie hard. "I love you so much and I'm so sorry-"

"The only ones who need to be sorry are those poachers," Eddie tells him firmly. He pulls Buck in, tucks his head against his neck and lets Buck breathe in that comforting scent of sandalwood. Of Christopher and Abuela's cooking and home. "They're not going to hurt anyone ever again. They won't ever touch you again."

Buck sniffles, wipes his eyes. He's okay. Eddie's okay. Everyone in the pack is okay.

Pelt hunters had come for him, his worst nightmare come to life, and Buck had fought them. He'd fought, he'd called for help, had someone to call to for help and he's safe. He's bruised and burned, another trauma to add to the pile but Eddie's got his arms around him. He wakes up every day with Eddie all over him, warm and safe.

"Thank you," Eddie says suddenly, swiping a thumb under Buck's eye.

"For what?"

"Fighting to come home. Fighting to get back to me." He kisses Buck quickly, smiles when Buck grins.

"Well I wasn't about to leave you and Christopher after I'd finally gotten you."

Eddie kisses him firmly, then again for good measure. "Come on, let's get to bed. It'll be better in the morning."

He feels the fatigue pulling at him and goes willingly into their bed, accepts Eddie's arms around him. He can already feel himself drifting off, floating into a slumber that for once isn't restless, that doesn't make him wake in a cold sweat. He sleeps solidly through the night and wakes with Eddie still around him, awake and smiling at him and leaning in to press a deep, morning breath kiss to his lips.

When they go back to work a week later, the burns all but faded, they have matching marks on their necks in the shape of each other's teeth. They stroll into the station hand-in-hand and pretend to be surprised by the party Hen had taken a full week to plan, the balloons and banner and cake all waiting for them.

"Chimney cracked, didn't he?" she asks, unimpressed but smiling.

"I did not!"

The entire pack turns as one and gives Chimney a look. He sighs.

"Okay, so I cracked." Chimney shrugs. "But come on, did any of you really expect me to not?"

Hen laughs. "Okay, that's fair. It's on me for telling you."

"I still can't believe you thought I had polka dots," Buck grumbles, grinning when Eddie leans in to kiss his mate mark.

"Hey, I've never seen a polka dotted wolf! Have you?" Everyone is silent. "No? Then shut up, all of you."

"You guys are so weird," Ravi sighs, and digs into the cake.

fin