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It’s Murphy’s Law: if it can happen, will happen. Just needs a spark of thought. The perfect place, the perfect time; the worst place, the worst time. All it takes is a little push. So it’s like madness, too.
And with that, it’s also like gravity: no one on Earth can avoid it. Not even an all-powerful demon.
It was bound to happen, and it was Chase Brody, vlogger, father, protagonist, who finally discovered a weakness of the dreaded Antisepticeye. By accident, of course, technically orchestrated by Jack himself. But it was a welcomed accident, and Chase did not hesitate to act on it.
After all this time: the demon couldn’t fight anymore. He was trapped.
The news spread like wildfire. All gathered to see Prometheus in his chains; to admire this justly punished Loki, while the well-deserved venom landed drop by drop in his eyes.
Jameson Jackson, everyone’s dearest Jameson laughed in silence, but laughed so freely that he shed a tear. Then, to maintain his gentlemanly demeanour, he offered the demon a mug of tea. Anti did not accept.
The heroic Jackieboy Man, as he watched Anti in anguish, nodded gravely. The demon was a worthy opponent, but no being could escape the fate he would bring upon himself. With that thought, the hero leapt out the window in a parkour move.
Marvin, The Magnificent Magician, mystical and mischievous, like the demon himself, grinned defiantly under his white cat mask, then leaned down to the wretched Anti and whispered in his ear, softly and gloatingly, "If I'd known we could stop you with this, I would have done it years ago.”
Anti groaned bitterly at this. He continued to suffer.
Dr. Henrik von Schneeplestein, MD, PhD, MVP, FFS, was sitting in a comfortable armchair in Jack's living room, opposite the sofa where Anti had been trapped. He was trying to continue crocheting the scarf that the demon had started before the calamity hit him.
Anti gritted his teeth; he tried to position himself carefully, but was understandably uncomfortable. Ridiculously, he was immediately plagued by two weaknesses at the same place, at the same time: one was his doctor's inability to crochet (which is surprising enough, to be honest, with those steady hands, it really shouldn't be that hard), and the other was that he couldn't move, not even a glitch could leave his body because...
“This is not funny at all.”
“Objection,” Schneep smiled. “I think it’s very funny. And maybe this incident will teach you to stop trying to prank Chase.”
He was just trying to make fun of the vlogger while he was house-sitting in Jack's absence. The only mistake he made was sitting down and then lying down on the couch. The only sin he committed was boredom.
And then fate struck.
In the form of BB, the huge, fluffy, majestic and once again, huge Maine Coon cat who was missing his owners terribly.
And BB decided to use Anti as a Jack-surrogate and as a pillow.
“Get him off me, Henrik,“ the demon pleaded, not for the first time during the day, staring at the cat with furrowed brows. Then he looked at his doctor inquiringly. “Mein Doktor. Liebling. Schnukiputzihasimausierdbeertörtchen. Please.”
Schneep sighed deeply and dropped the half-made scarf next to himself.
BB, sound asleep, rose up and down on Anti's chest to the rhythm of his breaths, and continued to purr peacefully, undisturbed, as the world's cutest and most annoying heating pad.
“Sorry, Herztblatt, rules are rules. In fact, it's almost a law of nature. If a cat falls asleep on you, you don't move until it wakes up.” As the doctor said this, he got up from his seat, leaning down, pressed a kiss to Anti's forehead and petted BB's soft head. “After that nickname, I wouldn't do anything to save you even if I could anyway. And you two look adorable, not gonna lie. Now, if you'll excuse me…” With that, he headed for the exit door.
“Are you leaving me here? Like this?” Anti gasped in alarm.
“Some people work, Anti,” sounded the heavy German accent. “See you later, Liebling! Mind your neck!” Anti heard the door close.
He blinked. Then he compulsively stroked BB.
“Rules are rules, hm?” he muttered. “As soon as I get out, I'll throw apples at him. I wonder how the real doctor feels about the laws of nature then. Right, BB? Big… Beastie? No. Bitch.”
BB, slayer of demons, saviour of all, slept on purring, and put one paw over Anti's mouth to stop him talking.