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The Vakarian twins’ birthday parties could be described as raucous, disruptive, destructive, even exciting; but what they almost never were was fun, or at least not for anyone else who was invited. Garrus and Solana considered a day wasted if there wasn’t some sort of competition, and birthdays doubly so, and the two of them were not gracious losers.
When they were 6, they begged the bored teenager working at the amusement park to let them onto an obstacle course that was, on paper, way too advanced for them. Even though their arms were not quite long enough to clear the monkey bars, neither of them wanted to give the other the satisfaction of winning. Solana claimed victory that year, despite almost squandering her early lead by falling off the climbing rope.
The next year Garrus won, but only because he cheated. The year after that, all notions of fair play were entirely abandoned. The year after that, Solana got her shoulder dislocated either after Garrus pulled it (her story) or because she got her arm stuck in one of the hurdles (his). It didn’t matter which year it was: it always ended up in screaming and yelling. It ruined the whole day for their guests, not to mention their poor parents. When they were twelve, their exhausted mother made the foolish mistake of gently suggesting they forego the obstacle course this one time. She was forced into submission by weeks of uninterrupted, coordinated nagging.
Their birthday races were among some of Garrus’s fondest memories.
---
Garrus had been back on Palaven for almost a month, and it felt like he’d barely stopped.
He’d assumed convincing his father that something had to be done about the Reapers would be the hard part. But now he’d carved out a niche for his task force. He’d been allocated a budget and gathered all the people he needed. But, as it turned out, actually doing the work was the hard part.
Who’d’ve thunk it?
Garrus didn’t mind being busy. In fact, he preferred it – otherwise he’d be spending all of his time thinking about his far-flung friends. Worrying about what was happening to Shepard on Earth. Dreading the day the Reapers showed up.
No. Occupied was better. Stopping meant anxiety, and he didn’t have time for that right now.
He couldn’t have described his new apartment if you held a gun to his head. He only ever went there to crash. At the end of another very long day, he slid the key card over the lock. Waiting for the doors to open, he stepped inside, and –
“You forgot.”
Garrus rubbed his eyes. Unless he was more tired than he thought and actively hallucinating, Solana had somehow gotten in. Judging by her body language, arms crossed and left foot tapping, he was in trouble.
He pointed back at the door. “How did you…”
Solana tapped her omnitool. She was twice the hacker he was, easily. She sighed and shook her head. “I can’t believe you forgot my birthday. Your own, I can understand – you’re a busy man, apparently – but your sister’s?” Solana tutted. “I’m wounded.”
Garrus let out a dry little laugh. “Yeah, good one, Sol. It’s not even the right month.”
She tilted her head at him. He did some mental math.
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” Solana said. “Oh.”
Garrus grimaced. “Uh, if it makes it any better, I’ve slept maybe 5 hours in the last two cycles.” The way her face pulled indicated that had been the wrong thing to say. “Look, I’m sorry, I –”
“Didn’t remember.” Solana exhaled, her breath heavy, and glanced away. “It’s fine. I know we’re not... as close as we used to be.”
Guilt weighed more than armor and Garrus had plenty to feel bad about. He’d left Solana to take care of Mom by herself and had barely spoken to her while he was on Omega or on the suicide mission. The day he’d come back to Palaven had been the first time he’d seen her in three years, and he hadn’t so much as warned her about the scar. This was the second time they’d been in the same room since he got back.
She wasn’t even allowed to know what he’d been doing or why he was busy now.
“Sol, I…” Garrus didn’t know the correct thing to say, or how to even begin. He let out one word: “Tomorrow.”
Her eyes widened, skeptical.
“I mean it,” he said, carried away with himself. “We’ll celebrate, just the two of us. I’ll figure it out.”
When she left the apartment, Garrus checked his calendar and swore to himself. He really didn’t have the time, but he couldn’t flake on her now. He painstakingly rearranged all of his meetings and put a “top secret” entry for the rest of the day. He could claim he was meeting the Shadow Broker; Liara would back him up, if it came down to it.
---
Garrus and Solana were a lot older than they had been last time they’d done the obstacle course: the bored teenager (not the same one, obviously) looked a lot less intimidating this time round.
“You sure we’re not too old for this?” Solana asked, stretching her arms behind her back.
Garrus bent over and touched his toes. “Are you worried you’ve gotten slow?”
Solana scoffed like she had as a child. “Absolutely not! I’m more concerned about you.”
“Yeah?” Garrus put his hands on his hips. “And why’s that?”
She grinned. “Because it’s really embarrassing when a grown man cries like a baby!” she shouted, as she ran.
Setting off before they called time. Low, even for her.
Solana had been faster than him when they were kids, but she was a civilian now, and getting a bit squishy, so Garrus caught up with her without too much effort. Part of him had been worried he’d have forgotten how the course went, but he remembered it like the back of his hand.
First, the climbing wall. That wasn’t hard – it was scarcely taller than he was. The monkey bars were something of a challenge, because he had to pull his legs up underneath him. He could’ve walked it, of course, but that would be cheating, and not the acceptable kind.
Garrus caught up with his sister somewhere around the barbed wire crawl. He fell down onto his belly and wriggled under. As he got closer to her, he grabbed her leg and yanked her back a good foot.
“Ow!” she squawked, kicking impotently at his arm.
When he’d dragged her back to his level, he pushed her away and carried on crawling.
The course was a lot shorter than he’d assumed, but then again they both had longer legs now. A climb here, a swing there, one or two strategically timed trips, and before he knew it he was a nose ahead. The finish line was in sight. One more sprint and he’d –
Solana barreled into the back of him, wrapping her arms around his waist, dragging them both to the ground. Garrus tried his best to loose himself, but her grip was so damned strong. Civilian life hadn’t changed that about her, at least.
“Lemme go!” Garrus grunted. He was perfectly capable of really hurting her if he wanted. As it was, he didn’t see how he could get out of this grip without breaking something.
Solana removed one arm from around his waist, only to pin him down by the shoulder. She pressed his scarred mandible against the hard ground. “What,” she said, her voice just a little too loud, “So you can run away? Like you always do?”
They both froze. After a moment, Solana released him, and Garrus sat up, turning to look at her. A small keen escaped from her throat, and Garrus put his arms around her; not in a grapple this time, but in a loose hug. At first he was afraid she wouldn’t accept it, but she didn’t push him off.
“I…” Crap, he was certain he’d never been taught the vocabulary for this. It wasn’t terribly turian, admitting you were wrong. He took a deep breath. “I know I wasn’t there… when Mom…”
“I get you had to be somewhere else.” Solana’s tone was firm, when she started talking. “I even understand you don’t want to tell me what it was.” Garrus opened his mouth – it wasn’t didn’t want, it was absolutely couldn’t – but in the end he decided not to interrupt her. “But you never called, for three years. And you finally come home, scarred up, won’t talk about what happened to you, and you avoid me, and… and…”
He hated the sound that came out of her then, and that he was responsible for it.
Garrus put his hands on Solana’s shoulders, forcing her to look him in the eye. “I know I haven’t been the best brother.” Or the best son, or the best friend, or the best anything, really. Garrus spent a lot of nights involuntarily cataloguing his many failures, desperately wishing his mind would shut the fuck up already. He could lay them out for her now, but he knew that wouldn’t change anything. The past was the past. He’d learned that from Sidonis, from Shepard. “I couldn’t deal with anything in my life, and I bailed, and I’m sorry.” Solana’s mandibles drooped and he didn’t know whether or not she was angry. He lowered his eyes. “I can’t tell you a lot of what I’m doing right now, except it’s important. I wish I was allowed to explain, and one day maybe I will, but please. I’m…”
Solana put one hand on his face and he lifted his gaze again. They didn’t resemble each other much, which for some reason always baffled people, but they had the same eyes. Hers were soft and forgiving, and he felt a pang of inadequacy. He didn’t deserve her kindness.
“I know,” she said. “I just needed to say it.”
They didn’t linger long on the ground. Solana got to her feet and stretched out a hand to help him back up. They walked together towards the finish line. Garrus thought maybe they were beyond the childish competition now, but at the very last minute, Solana glanced over her shoulder, smirked, and legged it faster than he’d ever seen her move.
“Oh, come on!” he shouted, as he half-heartedly jogged to catch up with her.
Solana pumped her arms in the air. “Superior twin! Superior twin!”
A better man might’ve let her have this one; but Garrus had not gotten any better at losing. Besides, the bickering was half the fun.
---
Garrus insisted on buying the drinks afterwards. Not because Solana had beaten him, but simply because he had real money for the first time in his life and he had nothing better to spend it on.
Solana pulled a puzzled expression as their server arrived. “Wine?” she asked. “Isn’t that a human thing?” She peered at him sideways. “You’re not trying to poison me, are you?”
He shrugged. “You drink it when you’re celebrating.”
His sister chuckled as she filled up their glasses. “I’m surprised, is all. It’s pretty adult, for a guy who just took us to an obstacle course designed for 12-year-olds.”
Garrus looked down into his wine. He was dealing with a lot of grown-up shit. His work. Whatever the hell was happening between him and Shepard. The impending end of the world. And Solana had been forced to grow up even faster than he had. It wasn’t fair, none of it was – but by now he knew better than to expect the universe to hand him justice.
If you wanted things to be right, you had to make them right.
He lifted his glass in a toast, before he recalled that was a human affectation too. Still, might as well continue. “Here’s to another year. Maybe I’ll finally start to act my age.”
Sometimes Solana looked so much like Mom, it made him want to cry. Her mandibles flared indulgently and, for the first time since he’d been back on Palaven, Garrus felt like it might all turn out okay. “You’re not so bad, really.” She tapped her glass against his, and the tink sound rang through his ears. “And besides,” she said, leaning back in her seat, “growing up’s super overrated.”